Advanced Sci-fi Civilisations Too Stupid To Really Exist Ep.01- The Psychlols
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Using thousand-year-old harrier jets to fight aliens is like digging up a rusty old Viking sword to fight the US military.
Well, hello there, Dr. Shaym. Didn't expect you to comment here.
OK, but then, why does it say "The Saga of the Year 3000"?
Yeah but their stupid aliens.
Also, in the actual book, they used the Pyschlo ships they learned to pilot.
Dr Shaym well not really though. Itd be like using a viking sword to fight aliens on a destroyed earth run by insane psychologists
"A love letter delivered to the grave of L. Ron Hubbard, a quasi-religious cult leader / author / alleged pedophile maniac of the Scientology business empire." That says it.
The funniest part is that despite being a scientologist Travolta actually managed to make this race and the humans involved 100x dumber than they were in the books.
It bears mentioning that the Harrier is a notoriously finicky aircraft and deadly to fly for those unfamiliar to it.
They didn't call it The Widow Maker for nothing.
Arnie flew one
@@kennethwilkinson2095 well, that's Arnie.
@WhomItMayConcern it can apply to both. The early av-8 and f-104 were both very unforgiving to new pilots.
@@scarface1138 And he gifted Donald Trump and Alan Sugar their careers when he shot that mush in to the helicopter with the line "you're fired."
How did the Psychlos even conquer Earth? Presumably at some point during their conquest someone would have nuked them out of desperation and discovered IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!
I actually read the book (yes, really) and as far as I remember they sent a Gasdrone over via their teleportation technology and that drone proceeded to fly all over the earth, dropping bombs filled with that Gas all the way (each of these bombs covered a large area), thus killing most humans via suffocation. It was attacked a few times by Human Fighter Jets but was impervious to their weapons.
Afterwards, ground troops arrived but there wasnt a whole lot left to mop up.
something SkyNet should take note of honestly.
SkyNet is too dumb to exist also...fighting 7 billion humans..want to kill them all..no need to save any for like food or anything...nukes knock down alot of the population but then pockets of resistance...that is winning and is super effective...and you dont just release nero toxins or nerve gas or even biological weapons? its not like the machines have to worry about the wind changing and the gas blowing back on them and killing their own....and they cant catch a cold...but yeah...instead send out robots wrapped in skin to pick off the humans one by one. that shouldnt be too hard.
The dumber thing about SkyNet was that by using nukes to kill the humans it also destroyed much of the technology and infrastructure it needed to spread over the globe and secure it’s dominance.
Nukes are at least as deadly to robots as they are to biological organisms because the electromagnetic pulses released by a nuclear explosion cause severe damagae to any electronics that aren’t thickly shielded.
@@samiamrg7 I guess it just goes to show that even a supercomputer can't devise ways to kill off humans as effectively as we can. I feel strangely proud.
@@bobbertbobby3975 Well, SkyNet is still AI and in first three movies we don't get to know SkyNet that much. Maybe it still have some limitation programmed into it? I also liked to think that maybe SkyNet have other goals that just kill all humans. Maybe in some screwed-up way it programming made it to think that best way to ensure human safety is to kill 99,99% of population and then strictly control remaining 0,01. In order to do so it can't completely destroy Earth or risk killing all humans.
Maybe the Psychlos got their advanced technology from some ancient alien civilization that used to live on their planet millions of years before they evolved.
We must consult Georgio Tsukolus. I bet he has a theory
Probably like the Kazon (who got their tech and ships from the Trabe). There's just no way the Psychlos came up with anything past bows and arrows on their own, and even then I'm skeptical.
You’re giving L Ron Hubbard and this movie way too much credit thinking they’d be clever enough for that.
And maybe their homeworld's atmosphere is a killswitch. To the point where the Psychlos stop beint useful, the "ancient race" may end up blowing the planet with little effort.
In the books, the Psychlos were originally nonviolent miners but were subjugated by a ruling class called "Catrists" and became the malicious, sadistic sociopaths they became by the time of the movie/books.
I had thought it was another species/race entirely. However, when I went to Wikipedia to double check facts it said ruling class; but who is to say in 100,000 years of time, they are not effectively a new species. FYI, 100,000 years of time is how long the 'empire'/company has been around.
I bet all of those dislikes are Scientologists.
the movie were made from a novel from thier leader Rob - he made a lot of sfi including his master piece scientology , one can actually read on by mistake and belive this novel is just the standard -50-70 sfi novel with any content which they usally are ( even asimov)
Or Jon Travolta and his spam bots.
I thought the Psychlos seemed suspiciously like a mashup of fearsome Klingons without the honor code, backstabbing Cardassians without the guile, and greedy Ferengi without the business prowess.
Basically they are flimsy carbon copies of Star Trek antagonists, but sucked dry of everything that made those antagonists really interesting, and as Trek progressed, allowed them to grow beyond mere collections of grey, interchangeable baddies, and ultimately give rise to fleshed out characters we could root FOR, like Worf, Nog and even Garak.
The Psychlos have none of that creative potential, because they are essentially just the author’s Mary Sue villains, and a straw-man for a real-life establishment that frustrated him.
In the book they looked more like Wookies with gas masks.
They're also supposed to be the end result of the inbreeding and standardization of everything, including the minds and brains of the people. Written to be a decadent empire, ripe for collapse, but still rumbling on via pure stupid momentum.
I would’ve prefer the novel version. Maybe it makes more sense than what Travolta made.
You deserve a VC for service to the British Commonwealth, above and beyond the call of duty, for watching that film more than once Sir.
Controversially... I will admit to being one of the very few people who actually like the film...mostly as I find it really funny in how totally incompetent it is
32bit Osserc Same here. It occupies that weird place where childhood nostolgia overrules quality judgement.
He certainly earned combat pay!
Aussies have their own VC now. The last VC award to an Aussie was for the Vietnam War.
This is like finding cow dung on the ground and analyzing it for 20 minutes.
At least there was a disgusting dead rat in it? It held my attention, that's for sure.
Hmmm... Smell It... Yeah Smells like Cow Crap... Taste It... Yep, Tastes like Cow Crap... Yup Must Be Cow Crap... Good Thing We Didn't Step In It!
Tbh cow dung is more interesting. i had to watch them idiotcytes[psyclos] with my palm on my forehead.
Now, there was no need to insult perfectly good cow dung.
Bitching about cow shit, and never thinking to eat the mushrooms that grow from it. Glad our evolution wasn't dependent on y'alls.
*"DO YOU WANT LAUNCH!?"*
This has got to be one of the most unintentionally funny line and delivery I've ever heard.
The stormtroopers were actually badass commandos, while rebel terrorists not equipped with plot armor got mowed down by the thousands
I actually read the book (which manages to somehow be both more intelligent as well as dumber and more racist than the movie) around the time the movie was announced (on a bet), I can clarify some of the stupidity.
1. In the book the humans didn't act primitive, the few Americans, of which Johnny was one were backwards though and most of his recruits came from Scotland which had one of the few viable populations remaining.
2. The knowledge ray thing wasn't made by the Psychlos, but was made by a subject race that were obsessed with academic pursuits and cataloged human culture (which the psychlos proceeded to ignore. It taught Johnny how to read and write and do math because Terl needed him to not just dig up gold but be a competent mining engineer, the humans tricked the psychlos and used it much more than Terl intended.
3. they didn't find an operational flight simulator or any human military gear other than guns and military RAD suit uniforms and a few degraded nukes that could be made usable (which they did have to refurbish). The equipment they mostly used was stolen Psychlo gear like flying ore transports (which is what they used to train themselves) and a few stolen psychlo military aircraft once they took out the main site in the midwest.
4. The reason that radiation was so damaging to the psychlos was explained as them not being from the same universe as humanity or many other races, and their universe didn't have radioactive elements, but did have others that became explosively unstable when exposed to radiation.
note it's been at least fifteen years since I read the book so I'm probably missing some things, the basic point is that the book itself actually addressed most of the missing shit by dint of being like a thousand pages long.
The only other problem with the book is that the second 1/2 of it was a study in intersettlar economics and so mind numbing my boring inwanted to rip my ears off rather than finish the audio novel. And the rest of the aliens in the universe were just as clueless as the psychlos. Johnny too easily fooled the races that came
To pass judgement on the earth for destroying psychlo. Finally how is making psychologist out to be space Vikings even an insult? It's not like they tried using mind games to CONQUER GALAXIEEEES! They were just corporate robber barons. They were more like parodies of buisnessmen than anything else. Hubbard was a hack.
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Nine minutes after receiving an unexpected surprise assault, alright, how long did their species last when a single human surprise visited them? 30 seconds? alrighty then haha.
Here's the thing I never got about this movie. Tyrelle tells Johnny that the humans had soldiers and weapons. Yet the don't think that humans have the capacity to use machines, or recognize technology? Ohhhhkay. Not to mention he talks about dogs being superior because we drive them around. Drive them! Meaning operate machinery. And didnthese dumbasses really try recruiting dogs to do work? Well yeah probably they did.
If I remember correctly the Psychlos did say in the movie that they attempted to use the dogs to do heavy work but the dogs didn't obey their orders.
That's just another example of that annoying tendency in sci-fi to make humans look like the most backwater species in the galaxy even when it doesn't make sense in the story (it's especially jarring when the supposedly much more advances aliens turn out to be bumbling idiots).
Then they think they're flipping the genre on it's head by having humans be an invasion force stripping a planet that already has life of it's resources..
Batman Laughed You really think a people bombed to the stone age centuries earlier would have the slightest clue how to use incomprehensible things created by their ancestors?
Cathy Vickers It isn't that the enslaved humans would understand ancient technology and how to use it, the issue is that the aliens don't even believe human beings could even learn to use machines, despite all the evidence to the contrary. They have physical and historical evidence that humans could not only use complex machinery, we designed, built, and deployed that heavy machinery, ironically, to strip the Earth of precious metals at astonishing rates. If the Psychlos, for all their superiority, could conquer Earth, why can't they also be smart enough to recognize these facts? It's dumb.
"That's his favorite food?"
"Of course! He could have chosen anything he wanted!"
What else was there out there? Sand? Rocks? A few measly plants? There was nothing else.
I wish I started a church where millions of suckers gave me billions lol
I don't think there's millions of scientologist, but point taken. I think at their height there was 100,000, but today it's around 25,000.
"Do you want lunch?"
God this sucks
i think psychlo's are all EVE ONLINE players.
I thought it was pretty funny.
The book sucked too!
I DO want lunch.
"Do you want lunch?!" - McDonalds new slogan.
Saw this thing first-run in a theatre. A friend a province away had emailed me to warn me to not go, because he had just seen it, and it wasn’t even funny bad. I didn’t get the email until I got home.
This is a guilty pleasure for me on the same level as "the room".
It's as if they are actively trying to do the opposite of what a competent film maker would do. It's genius in its stupidity.
Yep, one of the bonkers things about the film, among a 1000, is that some very good actors (including Travolta..haha) who have decades of experience in making movies watch this being made and the dailies and thought..yep, this is good! This will show all Hubbard is a genius!
It literally looks like a high school production and overacted like one too.
@@timreeves8937 I know, Travolta does at least understand the concept of chewing the scenery; he's capable of acting well and acting like a fool (Broken Arrow, Face Off).
You'd think for his religion, he'd at least serve up the good stuff.
this movie is just to terrible to even watch while someone tears it apart.
Glad to see this series isn't over.
This is the 4th video in the series :P
15:45 Another good point. A few hours in a flight sim, and they can fly the most difficult to control aircraft ever made? In aircraft that would be piles of scrap after 1000 years of neglect.
"If you want to get rich, don't write a book, create a religion."
This series are funny as hell. I personally just love the ironic and dead-pan delivery, reminds me so much of Rowan Atkinson's Black Adder type of humor.
Welcome to British Humor.
nope boy. stormtroopers have more survival instinct.
The Psychlols have the same survival instinct as storm troopers cause really they can't stop but being cannon fodder anymore then The Psychlols both die in huge numbers so I see no difference
_"...a common, and may I say,_ *charming* _theme from a writer who spent his life raging against those who tried to diagnose his severe Mental Illness.."_
Fucking great, I love this channel.
To be fair to Hubbard, in the book the Psychlos entire multi-universe civilisation is wiped out when some barely literate monkeys teleport a nuke to their home planet.
So even Hubbard thought the Psychlos were too stupid to exist.
well they sterilized their females when they left the home planet. so there was no way the species could live if their homeworld got wiped out
That was painful to watch. Not because of your insightful demystification of the Psychlos' stupidity, but having to endure another 20 minutes worth of clips of that movie.
Keep 'em coming!
DrNicket a fellow cinemasicist?
Yeah honestly this film is maybe the worst just for the fact that it’s physically annoying to watch with every single frame being on an angle or tilted
You should make the next episode about the Forerunners from Halo. They end all life in the galaxy including themselves, but have the technology to survive the destruction of all life and decide only to save a war criminal. They also leave humans as the only species to use their technology, what if something happened to us? The Forerunners also leave Flood alive even though the Flood is the reason the Forerunners destroyed themselves.
I will probably branch out into video game entries when/if I'm able to go full time with this. I'll obviously need to play games I'm not familiar with and capture gameplay/cutscenes etc. It will basically double the labour involved. It's on the cards though for sure.
Ok, Thanks for at least considering.
Most lore on the forerunners tend to be found the expanded universe material of the Halo series. Thankfully we have entire TH-cam videos to bypass that time consuming task.
yeah
I'm sure some video game civs will be doable without going in-game, but I'm a bit of a detail fanatic, and I'm worried I will miss something that I would have noticed if I played haha. I'm not sure what outside lore youre referring too, but if you mean using Wikis and watching youtube vids, usually I can come up with a more in-depth analysis, and notice new original points, by using a combo of wikis and watching/playing the content. Plus, I was also considering featuring some gameplay footage of me doing dumb shit, could add some variation to the series. However it goes down, I will guarantee you right now that video game civs will be appearing.
One thing the Psychlos really suffer from is that they operate in a Universe whose fundamental laws of physics were designed by L Ron Hubbard
Kinda tough to get over that one!
working for the psyclos is basically like working at a construction company, testosterone , backstabbing and the ocasional violence.
The book actually explains the insane hostility of the Psyclos in an interesting way. They had a quasi-religious movement that took over their culture by putting implants into the brains of baby Psyclos meant to stop the males from ever sharing teleportation science or specs and implants in the females that wouldn't let them even think about mathematics without going into a coma. The implants had the unexpected consequence of making the males sadists with no empathy. It made the over-the-top evil feel suddenly grounded instead of just an overdone trope
It gets worse if you read the book, they only made a movie of the first half of it; the second half attempts to explain it's stupid. And then there's the stupid aliens from the books Scientology is actually based off of.
The whole Scientology thing is fuckin' insane, I don't get it how people get into it
Too stupid to exist.
Did the book include the bit about one nuclear bomb blowing up the entire alien planet? - That seems like a stupid rip-off of the Independence Day victory.
+Sean Ledden
The teleporter was better secured than the movie was, but the bomb (don't remember what it was) caused severe seismic tremors, which caused the over-mined planet to collapse in on itself. It's an interesting book, if you enjoy the climax at the midpoint, and a long drawn out after plot. Things are better explained, if still unrealistic. Even the psyclons shittiness is explained.
Thanks for the info!
I subscribed a while ago cause I loved these "Too stupid" videos. Another thing I noticed here is if they are so advanced why don't have mining robots instead of relying on primitive and inefficient slave labor.. And these "aliens" are just humans with green eyes.. so unrealistic and boring
+Othello In reality, slave labor is only unprofitable in the long run, and even that is somewhat debatable, depending on how you would set such a social system up. In the short term, slavery is highly profitable, and the profitability margins, especially for low-skill tasks, is very high when compared to the extremely high capitalization costs for mechanical systems.
Designing, testing, prototyping, building, supporting, and maintaining a mechanical system and the necessary infrastructure to keep it operating is EXTREMELY expensive, especially during the initial phases where you (as a company, inventor, or investor) would make no profits and have to still keep investing. Any failures during the first three phases (designing, testing, prototyping) will essentially mean that your product (mechanical mining robots, let's say) will have to go back and start the process again, and will thereby become more expensive.
Slaves, on the other hand, need only a fraction of (if any) investment upfront. Some tools, shelters, and a minimal outlay for food and water (or appropriate analog, since this is sci-fi) are sufficient to begin operations and if used correctly, your slaves will even perpetuate, monitor, and regulate the system themselves (Spanish Empire in South America and the Caribbean are a good example) and require minimal oversight.
In the very (think "generations" here) long run, the mechanical systems become far more profitable, but if you either don't care about what happens after you die, or are not in a position to invest the time and resources to develop and exploit the necessary foundational technology to build mechanical systems, then slavery is just the thing you need.
A really interesting premise. I wonder if that gives another reason for the rise of Europe over the rest of the world technologically? They did away with slavery first for the most part. Perhaps they became technologically advanced as a result of it? Trying to find solutions that didn't involve slave labour.
+vishnu79 I don't think they need to worry much about costs or reliability for mining and excavating equipment.. They're to the point that flying light years across the galaxy to another planet is easy and common. If they just used slaves with pickaxes or something, it would take FOREVER to mine anything and they wouldn't be able to reach any reasonable quota or the demand in today's economy size and population let alone their much larger, futuristic one. That's just my thought
+Othello There are several possibilities that answer your points, two of which I can detail somewhat, should you wish.
The first being that if Earth was the only source of materials your civilization is exploiting, then yes, the inefficiencies of slavery would be rapidly exacerbated to the point that it would likely (assuming your alien society functioned at all like a Human one, which is actually another point altogether, but I won't go into that one) choke your economic capacity and your social structure would collapse.
However, if you are exploiting multiple sources (worlds, asteroid belts, moons, etc) then economy of scale would come into effect and would mitigate the inefficiency of slavery to a very great degree. This is, to a very great extent, what allowed slavery to remain profitable in the Southern states of the United States for so long as well as allowed the Egyptian, Macedonian, Carthaginian, and Roman Empires (to name a few) to remain profitable (economically speaking) over very long periods of time. When you have a social institution (slavery) embedded into your social structure to such an extent that slaves (outright slaves, indentured servants, serfs, etc) make up the vast majority of your workforce (The Spanish Empire) you can spread the economic inefficiency around to various industries to mitigate their effects.
If you have 10 slaves digging for each machine, the slaves will outproduce the machine in both the short and medium term, especially since the slave can be taught what to do when things go wrong and can think for itself. The machine cannot. It also needs resources in the form of technicians to repair it, fuel to power it, infrastructure to build it. Your slaves, if used to grow their own food, would feed and reproduce themselves with very little input on your part, thus reducing overhead costs by a large margin. And if you don;t really care what happens to them things like accidents and cave-ins can be addressed with replacement workers. The machine would have to likely be retrieved and repaired or replaced, which is far more costly on a unit to unit (slave-to-machine) comparison. That's where your money is lost, but only in the initial phases of introducing the machines. Later, the machines become far less costly in the long run to operate, it's just getting over that first hurdle, which, frankly, is usually a pretty big hurdle.
And that leads into the second point, which is that the institution of slavery could have become so ingrained into your alien society, that by the time a reliable mechanical replacement could be developed, there is such social inertia against it (replacing slavery) that it becomes almost impossible to effect.
In both Egypt and Rome, it was possible for slaves to own other slaves. There was even a sort of social hierarchy for slaves, and the Greeks and Macedonians had several different classes of slaves including "dmos" (war slaves), "helots" (farm slaves that eventually became something like serfs), and others that filled many social roles such as miners, craftsmen, even soldiers. In this case, the full inertia of your society would be working against any replacement for the system, and the slaves with better social statuses would actually (again, assuming your alien society works anything like any historical Human one) work against the attempt to change anything out of concern that they would lose whatever social advantages they had gained from the existing system. It also helps that the top layers of the social hierarchy (your leaders and rulers) would (if they are smart and/or competent) use this to their advantage and encourage as many slaves as possible to climb the "social slave ladder" as possible, thus ensuring that a large minority (or even majority) of the slave population would be invested in maintaining and perpetuating the system as a whole. This has been used by the Islamic cultures with great effect over the centuries to stabilize their societies, most notably in the Ottoman Empire, but also with good effect in Mughal India.
Having read the book "Battlefield Earth", it seems that Hubbard is using the second premise as the basis for his Psychlo society. In effect that slavery is so prevalent and has been for so long that the Psychlo society cannot function without it, and that the majority of the population has literally no interest in doing so, to include the slaves.
All in all, an interesting read, if you actually dig into the thinking behind it.
+Thomas Cameron It might have, but if so, only marginally. The real basis for European dominance can be brought down to a few different underlying reasons. One of the big ones is the European ability to set aside tribal (later national) politics for the sake of uniting against a common foe. This behavior actually was introduced by the Romans and the various tribes saw how this unity of purpose allowed the Romans to basically steamroll everyone and everything they met. Not to say that all Europeans learned this lesson. The Irish, especially, and to a lesser extent, the Scots, could never quite overcome their tribal differences and unite against invaders.
The Spanish and English played the various Irish clan leaders against one another for centuries, and the Spanish even exploited the Irish mercenary regiments to their advantage many times. Towards the end, IIRC, the Spanish King Phillip II kept promising high ranking Irish nobles and leaders that he would invade England and Ireland and restore their lands and drive off the English, but what he really did was lie to them so they would keep recruiting really well trained and motivated Irish mercenary regiments to fight in wars in the Netherlands and Italy.
In the end, when the Irish soldiers started to figure out that was never going to be any invasion and that the Spanish King was using them, the King basically ordered them on suicide missions until they were all dead, and being honorable men, they served their lying king to the last, hoping he would honor his word and give their families and countrymen their country back. He didn't, of course, but then, if I'm being really honest, the Irish made it easy for both the English and Spanish to use them. None of their clan leaders was willing to go to the rest and say "hey, these assholes are using us, and I'm going to put aside the fact that your great-great grandfather killed my great grandfather over a pig and we need to work together to kill these jerks."
To a great extent, this phenomenon is what has crippled Africa to this day, and is what allowed the British to successfully invade and hold my own ancestors homeland, India. My ancestors were far more interested in fighting each other instead of the British, and by the time it became clear that fighting with each other was only making it easier on the British, it was too late. The upside is that the British conquest had the effect of demonstrating to everyone that the flaws in my ancestors social systems would eventually kill us, and forced them to basically abandon large parts of their culture that were holding them back. Which is a good thing for me, even if it was really hard lesson for them.
Another thing the Europeans had going for them was war. They were really good at it. War drives invention and innovation like nothing else ever invented. War also forces societies to basically "adapt or die" as a whole, and frankly, Europe has been nothing but a really huge battleground since people moved there, to a far greater extent than almost anywhere else on Earth. My fathers ancestors (North European/Germanic) basically spent almost all their time fighting one another, only stopping when outsiders showed up to play, whereupon they killed them all and took their stuff, then went back to practicing on each other. This held true till the Romans showed up, and (very much against my ancestors wills) tried to civilize us. I'm not entirely sure how well this attempt succeeded, but what they did manage to do was to organize and militarize us.
Then we destroyed Rome to prevent further attempts to civilize us in the future. Also, to get the really good loot. After that, there was a couple of centuries of really disorganized chaos, then we got our shit together and, well, that was that, as they say.
I'm being somewhat facetious, obviously, but at the base of it, Europe's really great advantages were resources, organization, and constant war, mixed with a dash of monotheism and a general "us-against-them" sort of unity in regards to outsiders. Basically most things that they tell you that you should be ashamed of is what got us to the top. There's a lot of irony in that.
I read the book in high school, in the 90’s and it wasn’t as bad as the movie by the sounds of it.
Others have already said anything else I would say on that except this gem: the book I read had written in the cover, “soon to be a major motion picture”.
Soon.
The book is actually one of my favorite “fun” reads. It’s pure pulp sci-fi.
The last 4th is a slog however.
The movie is horrific.
@AKUJIRULE It is one book. If the entire book is a whole book (which it is), you could say the first half was a quick read, and the second half was slow. Or, if most of the book was a quick read (more than a half), then you could say the last 4th (fourth) was a slog. This means that you have divided the book into 4 equal parts. the first half would be 2 of the 4 parts, with the last 4th being the slow part. The 3rd part of the book is after the first half (2 parts), making 3 parts. We could say, the first three-fourths of the book were quick, the last fourth was a slog. Remember, it does not mean that there are four books. Just four parts to the book in the example given. A shorter way to say that would be The last 4th (fourth) is a slog.
those codpieces are hilarious.
I'm so glad I've never seen this movie.
Kenan Baskott, get a group of friends, get REALLY HIGH, and watch it. It's halarious!
Kenan Baskott But it's hilarious!
With friends it's hilarious with friends.
Kenan Baskott I had forgotten about it till I ran across it here just terrible it deserves to be forgotten
I never bothered, having read the book many years back...
Forgot how good Travolta & Whittaker were in this classic unintended comedy
Especially Travoltas delivery . Hopefully shows up on Netflix- popcorn time
John Travolta like Tom Cruise was one of those actors that seemed to be in every movie and you thought nothing of it. Then 10 years go by, and it's the early 00's, you start seeing your first glimpses of them outside of a movie and you're not sure wtf happened to them, or how they ever had a career of they were always that crazy. The early 00's was a rude awakening when it came to a lot of actors from the 80's and 90's. Made you think maybe the rags in the checkout lane weren't making shit up, they just exaggerated their insanity.
nah the tabloids just down played it.
They seem to be more like a combination of Ferengi and Mirror Universe humans than Klingon. Klingon only in looks.
Considering that we were afraid that we'd completely destroy our own atmosphere testing nukes, then did it anyways it stands to reason the Psychlos would have done the same, with drastically different results.
That's a good thought, but there is no radioactive material to make nukes out of on the planet Psychlo, nor their entire dimension for that matter.
I wonder what effects Eezo, Tiberium, and Phazon would have in their reality... Tests must be conducted soon, will be back with Salarian and Human scientists to test theories.
@@kabob0077
You're suicidal aren't you?
ryan alving Negative, just scientifically curious as to the effects those substances would have.
@@kabob0077
Hyper aggressive lethal mutants made from every single species that border on uncontrollable, and that's just from phazon. I don't know about the others.
Coming back all these years later, I still remember this being the first of yours I watched… thank you sir, for the years of phenomenal entertainment.
If the people from Idiocracy were evil SOBs.
If an army of Patrick Stars had access to space travel, LOL
Special praise goes to Noah Antwiler for his stellar playing of Terl in Nostalgia Critic's reviews, and To Boldly Flee.
Battlefield Earth...as I like to call it, Battlefield Earth: Dutch Angle The Movie
Dutch Angel Dragon?
Dutch angle
"The survival instinct of a Storm Trooper" ... dude i damn near spit my drink out, lolz :D
Stormtroopers at least arent killing each other
That one got me to, LOL!
I forgot about this stinker. I really enjoy your critiques of things I often "hand-wave" while just enjoying a film, then I can go back and watch an action film again as a comedy. I would imagine that you can find some things to poke at from ANY sci-fi movie or TV series, even if it's a mini montage. I'm glad to see there is more I haven't watched yet so I can just binge away. Excellent work.
Amusing, but 99% of your questions could be answered by reading the book. I've read it quite a few times simply as a sci-fi fan for great enjoyment. The novel goes far past what the movie had as well, all the way to Earth becoming something of a power of it's own in the galaxy. I'd give it a 90/100 for a book. But the film is a 15/100, it basically mucks up everything, going so far as to change huge amounts of content in about the dumbest way possible. I'll just stick with explaining the really big question about the Psychlo home world. Their empires greatest weapon is the teleportation technology. But they also maintain a significant space presence. While they are dominant they are not the only power in the galaxy. But no one else has the teleporters. So to strike their home world would take fighting through their fleets all the way to their home world. While they could rapidly transit forces to counterattack via teleporter. They did have a defense mechanism on it as well. Shield generators to protect the platform from nuclear attack or accidents. It held. What the movie doesn't bother to show us is that Earth packed something like 9 nukes in the coffin. As well as dirty radioactive material. Each one burrowing deeper INTO the ground under the platform. Their economy was mining based, and they started at home. It blasted a hole so deep the radiation finally reached the expansive old mining tunnels where it channeled the explosions, spreading them throughout the planets mantel, igniting more and more breathe gas. In the end the home world was actually turned into a star by the chain reactions. And every time they opened a gate at their bases to go home, it exchanges air from one point to the other. They pulled pieces of that star onto their platform, wiping out the majority of their bases galaxy wide. Since they used the same thing as their standard mail to send messages, no warning could go out.
Here is the thing though. A book is a book. A movie is a movie. The movie must stand on its own and not rely on people reading the book in order to have things explained to them. I've read the book myself and I agree that it's leaps and bounds better than the movie....but still, a movie is never allowed to rely on the book its based on in order to make sense.
I agree...the book explains much of this. As with all Sci fi ,it does rely on some artistic license. It is a very large book. Nothing short of a mini series could do it justice.
Well bro you get my respect just for suffering through this pile of shit, I couldn't watch more than 10 minutes.
i thought this movie was hilarious.
Made me laugh my ass off.
The fucking angled shots made me want to vomit, other than that 10/10 would psychlo again.
Well... a book series was alot more fun than a movie. At least there was an pretty nice explanation why Psychlols are what they are. Somewhat nice...
So, the book was completely different. Travolta abused the story basically to incoherence. I read the book and was thrilled when I heard they were making a movie. Got through maybe the first 20 minutes of it and couldn't continue. The book is different, the story is pretty epic. That being said, none of Hubbard's other sci-fi books were worth reading. His flame ended with Battlefield Earth. And Scientology is crap for sure.
Please make MOAR of these. I'm addicted to your videos. I really hope your channel will grow.
Thanks Esther! Channel is doing well, so many more dumb civs to come :)
If this is going to be an ongoing series, you might consider a shorter title, like "Too Dumb for Ray Guns" or something.
I considered shortening the title, but a few points- I don't want to lose the premise, and this series is doing well re views, so I dont necessarily see there being a need for change.
I also thought people will be able to quite easily see the episode number on the thumbnail. I'm definitely fielding suggestions though, and will consider a revamp in the future.
I think the title is fine as is.
Great analysis. Can't wait to see your upcoming videos on the Galactic Empire or the Daleks.
Hè should make a video on the Skaven from Warhammer
I actually read the book (I was in jail, it was either that or romance novels). It was around 1000 pages long, they don't use jets in the books from what I remember. The psychlos can't come in contact with Uranium and the protagonist in the book mines said uranium and teleports it to their homeworld... tbh I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure in the book they didn't have the jets like in the movie. Credit where credit is due the book wasn't BAD by any means, it CERTAINLY had anti psychiatry shit in it but it was an interesting read.
So, this movie was actually Travolta's subversive expose of the Church of Scientology (the psychlos?)
Cripes. I can't believe I actually wanted to see this movie once upon a time. And I can't believe I made it to 10 minutes on the video. Oh well.
LOGIN Noticias Movie is hilarious to watch and on TH-cam for free.
12:35 "HR Department"
Don't you mean "PR Department?" P for Psychlol.
First video and you got me with that intro.
Can't believe you got the music too lmao😆
"You fail me yet again, Starscream"
You try dodging enemy fire when you are wearing dry wallers stilts.
imagine that, living on a planet where a good chunk of the atmosphere is made up of some extremelly volatile matter, like i dont know, Oxigen
Let me know when you find a planet that has a good chunk of atmosphere made of oxygen, because most of Earth atmosphere is composed of nitrogen. Lighting a match will not ignite the whole atmosphere so your comparison is a really hard miss here.
@AKUJIRULE Your knowledge of basic chemistry is staggering. N2O is not the same as a mix of N2 and O2 which we have in the atmosphere.
Fun facts, I actually read the book, so I know these, the psyclols were even more idiotic then in the movie. Every female off planet were STERILE, so even though they had females off planet, their race was doomed as all breeding females were on planet when it exploded. They were a bit smarter in book though, as they had barriers around the platform where the bomb ended up, but they left the other 12 bombs that were sent in the book out of the movie. In the book, the bombs were strong enough to effect the planet's core, and that is what destroyed the planet.
Now I know where Krieger got that famous line from.... my life is complete
The book was actually so far superior to the movie it's like making a Harry Potter movie and forgetting the magic wands.
To be fair, L. Ron Hubbard was always a pulp sifi writer. A Lot of books, atleast back in the 50-70's, of that type had the "one guy overthrew an entire race of aliens because of stupid. Yes its silly, but when you sit down and read this 1000 page monster, your entertained. Hell I have read it a few times when I was a kid as I just devoured all those stories from the library and this one was just new.
The movie doesn't do any of it justice. I mean, one reason why no other race has taken over is because all these Psychlols have chips in their head, triggered on "betrayal of the species" and start going nuts if they try to change sides. All women, nomatter for any excuse, are rendered infertile if they ever go off planet and they have some seriously heavy duty mind conditioning at the "academy" They have force fields at each of the teleporters that stopped their first nuke attempt. After they finish with a planet, they just blow it up so there is no way any existing species can get revenge. Just so many little things that explain that might make this movie 5 hours long:P
The book is just about the Psychols. It just uses Jonnie as a method of moving the plot along the Psychols doom. If it wasn't for the Scientology taint, I would love to see a mini series of it. However, even though Ron Hubbard purposely kept all the Scientology stuff out of it, there is NO way they wouldn't be fucking with the series as they did with this movie.
The human protagonist even looks like a beefed up version of David Mischavige the current leader of Scientology
Well, like us, they could've waited till 2019 and get proof that there is an asteroid made of gold roaming the universe. "Isn't it ironic, don't you think?"
A little TOO ironic, yea I really do think!
"It's like acid raaaaaiiiinnnn on your mining day,
It's the atom boooooomb in the Teleport Bay,
It's the blaster bolt that took your arm away,
And who is to blame? It's Terl"!!!!!
Hmm...starting to wonder if the writers for Mass Effect Andromeda watched this movie and said "This is perfect, let's write all of our dialogue and game in general this way!". I shit you not everyone in that game is an absolute moron!
Sounds disappointing, I really loved Mass Effect 1&2. It seems now there are at least 2 Mass Effect civs worthy of this series.
Media Zealot Glad to see you still up to your old tricks. If you run out of civilisations could you do organizations to stupid to exist? John Wick Chapter 2 was awesome but I know someone like you can and will find stupid flaws in his society.
It's funny you mention that, I was just thinking the other day I could possibly do organisations, maybe not an endless series, but a few vids at least.
I'm also planning another one at some point- "6 Advanced Sci-fi Robots Too Stupid To Do Their Jobs".
+Media Zealot the B1 battle droid would be one that list due to them being made to be as cheap as possible and the only work when in they overwhelm their opponents due too they lacking intellence and now thinking about it a majority of trade fed or CIS droid aside from tactical and commando droids.
You guys are really doing well with guessing upcoming content. The B1 droids are already on another list I'm working on. Good point though, I'll have to consider them for the stupid robots list.
New Zealand represent!
I was walking down Tottenham Court Road at 7pm in London and the Scientology center there was open and 2 of them were outside in fancy dress sailor suits, they invited me in to watch a free movie, this was the movie, they kept stopping it and explaining everything and kept telling me its the greatest science fiction movie ever created. They also gave me free biscuits, rich tea biscuits - they were nice. They let me leave they were weird but seemed cool.
Was your anus sore in the morning?
I remembered being 14 and leaving the theater and never heard about it again until now.
Why do their blasters have reverse-canted grips?
10:17 Ingots, not bricks.
13:24 * *cue Spaceballs theme* *
Don't know why this popped up in my feed, but here goes : )
I did read the book, all 1048 pages of it, the youtuber obviously did not as most of the events in the movie he criticizes never took place in the book. The movie did stink, as someone who read the book then watched the movie I can definitely say that.
So here's to correct a few things.
1. The psychlos are basically space Russians, star trek isn't being ripped off here at all. They don't act like klingons, they act like cold war era Russians movies
2. Earth was not a target, they weren't out of all the planets out there "out to get us" because we're special. Earth was a small mining operation which Terl got sent to after sleeping with an officials daughter. Again, a common russian theme, he pissed off a government official and was sent to "siberia".
3. The psychlos are largely brutal and industrious, made so by the brain implants put in every psychlo baby at birth. This chip does two things, inhibits compassion and gives them all ADHD so they work hard. The species that did this are where the name psychlo comes from. So a better comparison than star trek, is Stargate, but the psychlos in the book aren't the gould, they're the jaffa.
4. It's not worth criticizing the psychlos, because the books not actually about them. In the book Johhny kills their entire species, and the book doesn't end. It goes on for HUNDREDs of pages as Johnny realized there is a whole universe out there of other species vying to take advantage of the newly created power vacuum, and the book advances to telling the story of how Johnny makes earth a sovereign space nation and negotiates for it's stability. The book takes on a heavy diplomacy storyline with even some galactic banking and finance drama. Think of the star wars clone war/separatist era.
None of this was mentioned in the video, and most of what is mentioned was made up. The guy might have been crazy, but the book was cool.
Well, you convinced me to give it a read. Thanks. I always appreciate additions to my reading list.
Sometimes TH-cam recommends pure GOLD
Don't let the Psychlos know that, LOL!
David Miscavige personally supervised the writing of the screen play and production of the movie and then promptly disappeared when it bombed.
You Sir have earned my subscription. Great Work!!!!!!
Jonny was basically Cesar from POTA
Found your channel a few days ago and I will binge all your episodes, you have very good content.
Saw this movie on netflix in ancient times. My eyes still bleed centuries later.
Ironically after watching some of these I end up wanting to watch the movies themselves sometimes lmao
There were no harriers in the book, they used the aliens own technology against them. The book was ok, kinda funny because the whole last half must be a riff on banks as some intergalactic banker shows up trying to liquidate the planet after the Psychlos are killed off.
Sneak peek showing, the theatre packed. We, the audience, cheered and applauded it was over. Fluorescent lights, working combat simulators, working jets and men learning to pilot jets.
It was a nice movie that's why you needed to rewind and watch ..
"...zero intimidation factor factor."
So, in order to destroy a planet like Psyclo, all you would need is a little bit of soil from Earth? How did their sun not destroy the planet?
Hubbard was ignorant. He made it somewhat clear in the book that he meant radioactive particals like Alpha and Beta particles.
He mentioned that the breath gas reacted with radioactive "dust" and that the radiation "in the soil" was what caused the issue. that pretty much describes radiation thats like fallout and contamination. material that gives off radioactive particals. like Beta particles. that can go thru your skin and prolly not alpha particles that you have to inhale in order to have any issue with them.
Tho really..it might even include strong wave radiation like Gamma waves. which are super strong and much more rare except near large heavily irradiated debris from like a nuke.
A Thermonuclear Device
LackofAttack
Actually, gamma radiation is fairly ordinary.
Take for example, the humble banana. It contains potassium, and one naturally occurring isotope of potassium emits positron, which when interacting with other matter, like the rest of the banana, will result in gamma radiation.
Also, the magnetosphere wouldn't protect you against gamma radiation. What is sorta protecting you, is the many kilometers of atmosphere, which is opaque in the gamma spectrum.
yes, Hubbard didn't understand Radiation...but he did say that only Uranium would destroy the Psyclo's home planet.
in the book, they actually had safety systems to handle that, but atomic BOMBS were too much for them to handle.
"Do you want lunch?!" Best quote ever
I have read the book multiple times. I enjoyed it, but I am not a scientologist. Most of what this video is about is actually explained in the book. The Psychlos were overly arrogant because they were the leading race in their universe for a LONG time. They viewed all other races as so beneath them as to barely be worth notice. This is a deliberate flaw of the species.
The Psychlos were also implanted at birth with a brain "chip" that caused them to become more aggressive and violent. The "chip" caused them to receive pleasure from watching another being suffer, thus their cruelty and the, "pointlessly antagonizing each other"
The teaching machine that Terl used on Johnny was made by an extinct slave species who became teachers and nannies after they were conquered.
Terl has many plots and schemes going on at the same time, as other Psychlos in the book do as well. Some of them work, others do not.
Earth was conquered by an armored drone that released a killing gas over the planet. There was no way to retaliate since any weapons launched at the drone were ineffective. Psychlo armor is impenetrable even to their own weapons.
The monopoly on teleportation is the reason the Psychlos are the supreme power in the universe. No other race had the technology. What, exactly, do you do when you have slower than light propulsion against a race that has impenetrable armor and can teleport into your atmosphere at will?
Terl was not completely unaware of the dangers of teaching the man animals. He did overestimate his leverage over them, however, as well as how intelligent they could be. His greed, desperation and arrogance fueled his actions.
Getting the nuclear weapons to Psychlo was more complicated than is shown in the movie. There were multiple checks against radioactive materials that the humans bypassed or fooled.
I grant that this is a relatively fair assessment of the movie. I read the book the first time in the 80's, before most of Hubbard's....proclivities were known. Thus minimal bias.
I laughed pretty hard at this. I might be the only person I know that liked this movie but this was still damn funny.
This is the exact kind of attitude I can get behind. Thankyou sir!
I like this movie, some things with languages were very cool.
So there are 3 of us in all the world lol.
It was meant to be a sci-fi romp, an adventure type film, not space Shakespeare. It's pretty obvious Travolta is hamming it up in his outfit. Obviously the uploader has issues since he went on about Scientology for so long, not really related as to why the film was bad.
I liked it to!
The Ferengi are looking at them and laughing
If I recall, Terl got himself exiled to Earth for sleeping with a senator’s daughter.
19:00 What happens when Planet Psychlo is hit with Cosmic Rays like our Earth is every day?
In the book their planet was in another universe, Still, having the teleporter transmit to an off world relay station instead of direct transferal to Psychlo makes overwhelming sense. Even the Psychlos of the book never figured this out, all they had was a force field against radioactive material being teleported to their world.
Keeping this movie on my list of movies I'm glad I never saw.
the psychols would have been a lot more intimidating if they looked like they did on the battlefield earth novel cover art.
RADICAL CENTRIST yeah those ones look badass these look like low budget Klingon cosplays
Book Psychlos look like Wookies wearing the helmet of Big Van Vader.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 More like oversized Kzinti with WWI gas masks.
10 foot tall puppies with big claws and very bad teeth.
I've put off watching this one for awhile because I knew that, given the target species, I might wind up hospitalized from laughter related injuries.
And 36 seconds in, while not yet injured, I am not disappointed!
"The McGuffin gun" BRILLIANT!
Granted its been 25 years or so since I read it, but Battlefield Earth was a good book.
Sad thing is, Psychlos are probably what humans would be like as a space-faring race.
Oh shut up. Only Africans would be like that lol
Now most civilizations you’ve mentioned I’ve been watching your videos and thinking “In retrospect that was stupid”. But this one I definitely knew was retarded at the time I watched it
The McGuffin Gun, I love it.