Hi Morgan, please be careful about sharing too many details on things/places that are near/close to where you live (for safety). I 100% understand the struggle when it comes to eating and feeding yourself, it can be so hard and I deal with it every day. Stay safe and good luck with your new chapter 🫶 - a fellow autistic human gal
So for legitimately non stalker reasons I pretty much figured out where that coffee place is. And I think she might have met someone I kinda know. Really not a stalker but they are right, it's scary easy
@@morgaanfoley Also knowing that you can leave anything you want anywhere without it being touched and that no one is going to come bother you so you can be totally at peace with yourself 😄
@@morgaanfoley Try hard not to over think your next actions. Let your body guide you. You have all the time in the world so don't put pressure on yourself to adapt too quickly. There is a lot to adjust to, but in time you will have it down. I am so envious of your new location. It seems so idyllic. All the best!
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
My drive for autonomy was so strong when I was younger I moved out of home a few weeks before my 17th birthday(I'm now 48). It was definitely the right thing to do as my home life was far too aggressive/chaotic/loud for me. My step father was so proud he paid my first months rent and bought me a bunch of new CDs of my favourite bands. But boy did I struggle with life stuff - I was so proud of myself when I first registered to vote I literally called up most of my family to boast about it. Stop laughing - forms are scary for me!
Girl, I wish I was like youuuuu. I want to move out so bad, and my parents think I want to get away from them. That’s partly true because I don’t want to be bound by liability rules, but it’s mostly the want to be in charge of myself. I have nothing against them, I just want independence. It’s so strong that I brought up emancipation several times, but considering my circumstances, it would screw me over on the long term especially with legal expenses. I only have like 8 months before I’m 18 anyway. Congratulations on you though! That has to have been liberating and exciting and stressful! Keep it up!
@@morgaanfoley Oh believe me girl I know! Friends have literally became taboo to me I have 0 literally 0 but I can hold side conversation so well, it’s just maintaining a true friendship has always been a struggle for me. People either always use me or by the time they get what they desire out of me I become old news to em or something 🤷♂️ You’ll make some friends though just keep believing in yourself! You got it :)
@@iamFracture People always tell me I am a really nice and easygoing person to chat with but I have 0 friends because I have no energy to keep any friendship going.
@@entityself3104 Literally me. Like seriously. No exaggeration necessary. It can truly become quite lonely after awhile but I’m beginning to realize that loneliness comes with peace a lot of the times, and peace is the ultimate goal for me; so I wouldn’t trade it for any fake friendship that I’m already sure isn’t going to last anyways. Still to this day I get compliments on how kind I am, but one thing that I never get is someone who shows that same kindness back to me. You really gotta protect yourself out here… but we all don’t have to be destined to be forever alone unless that simply is our destiny. So all and all I wish you the best and hope some solid individuals come around you at some point and show you how much they appreciate you as their friend.
A piece of advice I can pass on for meeting people is, instead of going for coffee where you're seated across from each other, to go for walks in a nearby park. Extended eye contact is not expected as you can look toward the road ahead of you and the conversation tends to be less intense. It also promotes meeting people in a small group rather than one on one, which can be safer at first.
Yes walking or doing an activity! That helps one with eye contact since you can just look at your activity and not their eyes and it isnt weird and also you dont feel the need to have to fill in the quiet pauses. If want company but dont have the energy to talk, having an activity gives you and them something to fill the space/time other than conversation, or if you want to talk but dont have a good conversation starter, just talking about what you are working on is a great start. By activity i mean something like crotcheting, sculpting, painting, or idk if you have other non-art hobbies that you can think of but things like that usually work well. Plus you end up with a momento of your time together!
@catepilarr yeah i have started to realize the idea of a coffee date or even a date at a restaurant are kind of intimidating. Like i feel forced to find something to talk about as we are staring at each other which makes me not able to find anything to talk about and then there is a limited number of external input to find a topic so i end up kind of anxious if the other person is not able to find a conversation starter as well or they dont flow the conversation well. I also feel like i get worried about ettiquette and once the food is out the conversation is just, "wow the food is so good. Oh and this looks so amazing!" And things more become more related to food. Walking on the other hand, you can enjoy the scenery and often it brings up memories, stories or interests to share.
I have a working system for food. I try to make 4 "big meals" a week where I actually cook from scratch and dirty dishes. But I make enough to have leftovers so that work is for more than one meal.
Love that idea! I’m starting with one home cooked/nice meal a week and hope to add more in time. So hard w groceries being what they are, not much room to experiment but we get by
I’ve not watched many but every time I watch your videos I cry so much. I feel so different and misunderstood by everyone but you talk exactly what’s in my brain and it is a lot emotionally for me
Me trying to make new friends: "I should walk around my neighborhood, this afternoon, getting exercise while chatting with people enjoying the nice weather." Later, while on my walk: "There's some people outside up there, please don't talk to me, please, please, please, or at least nothing more than 'hello'', oh good, they didn't say anything!"
I'm a 19 year old guy with autism and I have been having so many struggles getting on to my feet. Seeing this video was not only helpful in giving me the idea of what to expect in the future, but also how much I relate to the things that you are saying. You've earned me as a subscriber and I'm excited to see the other videos you will make.
35 here - good luck! There's some things we struggle with way more than NTs when moving out, studying, working, socializing and being young adults in general, but you will get better with time at building accommodations for yourself and finding people who help you up instead of beating you down - and I hope you will love yourself and your life realizing at one point that you would never want to trade it with anyone else :)
About cooking and cleaning. Take a habit of cleaning WHILE cooking. Say you mixed something in a bowl, you moved your mix to a pan, and DO wash the bowl right there. In perfect scenario once you finished cooking, you will have a clean kitchen and a pot with hot stew. All you will need to clean after meal is just your plate and one pot/pan.
I am 48 and only recently figuring out that I am autistic. I identify with you so much. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I would never have figured out my ADHD-I or ASD without creators like you. I sometimes feel like I want to return the favor and create my videos of my journey, but then I feel overwhelmed by the expectations that come from it and by coming out so to speak. No one knows except my husband and best friend. Sigh. You are doing great!
You describe yourself as “I’m just a 22 year old autistic ADHDer that likes to share my life experiences” Lose the “just”. You are a 22 year old autistic ADHDer with an amazing ability to clearly explain what you experience and feel. Sharing it this way is a valuable resource for others to learn from, help themselves and help others. Thank you.
Dropping these qualifiers or whatever they are called is a hard one. I've been working on it for years. I am 48 and just now figuring out that I am autistic. I wonder if using words like "just" is more common among neurodivergent females, because we feel like we have to explain and justify our very existence. Just another bit of the exhausting day-to-day of being neurodivergent in a world not made for us.
I agree with you that the way Morgan talks about her experiences is way clearer and easier to watch than possibly any other on this topic. She has a great ability to suss out what the differences between ND and NT people's experiences and social expectations are.
@@AndreaCrisp 51, male. I use "just" all the time. I don't think it's exclusively a girl thing. I've come to understand that saying "just" is like a bargaining word, to justify what I'm doing, or simply being, to avoid the criticism and judgement that has followed me my whole life as someone who is very late diagnosed.
Oh my gosh, as a fellow audhder, that thing about finding it hard to make decisions about how you should spend your time/what you should be doing is soooo relatable. It's so much easier to just have someone else tell you 😂 Also, I'm loving these videos so far! It's so affirming to see how another autistic person deals with these kinds of transitions. Thank you for sharing! 💙
The friend thing… Yep… Being brave enough to ask for friends on a group, but then getting overwhelmed having to actually talk and get to know them.. And scared because I don’t recognize red flags in people...
I've watched many of your shorts recently in an effort to understand my son better. He also just moved out on his own for the first time. When you mentioned NH and trying a local coffee chain, I immediately knew it was Aroma Joe's! Hope you love it as much as I do. We are also way out in the woods in NH, which is both great and challenging. Best of luck!
You're so endearing and adorable, I think a lot of people would be so happy to call you a friend once they understand your capacity to be active in the friendship is different from theirs and learn not to take it personally if you can't reply or hang out as often as they're used to. Looking forward to your next video!
Seeing you be open about your quandaries or self doubt is helping me realize how much I can doubt myself or just be too tentative & wondering. So thank you for your honesty❤😊
I've been a mom for my whole life, and my kids just left the nest. This is the very first time I'm living on my own, so suddenly I have time to pay attention to myself, and my daily struggles. When i watched a reel that talked about "t-rex arms" it was like wearing glasses for the first time. Suddenly, everything made sense. Living alone finally gave me the time to know and understand myself. It for SURE has it's difficulties, but at least i have more control over my environment, which is great for an adhd/autism person.
Hello! Thank you for sharing your experience regarding autism, life accomplishments, your day to day adventures, and educating us! 😊 I enjoy watching your videos. I also have autism. I was recently diagnosed. I am 31 years old. I feel so comforted in the autism community. You're one of my favorite TH-camrs.
I also completely understand! I also have a hard time making friends. A lot of people take advantage of me without me knowing. A lot of people do not understand that I may want friends, but if I have to answer a bunch of people (more than 2), I will become overwhelmed. A lot of times, I won't answer. I have a difficult time eating too. Mainly because I forget and I have two boys. I always make sure they are fed. But I also think that when I'm finished cleaning for the day, the last thing I wanna do is eat and make a mess, which completely makes sense to me. I hope you have a good day.
A huge magnetized wall calendar I have saved my bacon. For cleaning when cooking, I always clean as I make the mess. So if I measure something in a measuring cup I wash that before I do the next thing. If I spill I wipe it before I do the next thing. If you get in the habit of cleaning while you work you'll only have a tiny mess when you finish, which you can quickly dispatch before sitting down to eat or wait for it to cook. It will feel annoying and cumbersome until you're used to it but once you are you'll wonder why you ever did it differently. Oh - and make sure you're putting everything back in the same spot you got it from to save frustration later. These methods worked for me until I had a kiddo and he got old enough to be in the kitchen when Mom is. Not sure how intrusive your doggies are but hopefully they can't get near the counters while you're working or pull things out of the fridge and cupboards!
It should get better - fingers crossed. :) (For me it proved best to find a group (or a few) through the hobbies I had, not too heavy or demanding socializing but with an opportunity to meet like-minded people on a more-or-less regular basis and establish some "home bases" in the town. I also relied on an online gaming community a lot back then..)
I'm AuDHD, 42, loving living alone. It does take time but I think you might really love it once you get the hang of it. For chores prioritization, I love the Tody app, can't recommend it enough. You can have your chores in order of what's the most overdue/dirty so if you don't know where to start, that helps a lot, plus there's a gamification aspect where you have to beat Dusty by cleaning more than he makes a mess. I've been using it since 2020 and my place is so much easier to clean and manage. (Not sponsored I just seriously love it that much). Congrats on your new place!!
I feel you on the slow adjustment phase. When my family moved years ago it took months for me to settle down and relax! It wasn't after I fully unpacked and decorated in my way that I could ease into the new place. You'll get there!
This helped me so much! I feel so understood. It's so inspiring to see that things i struggle with as an autistic person can be managed. Thanks for showing that to everyone!
As somone who was dignosed at 23 and now 26 and for me even tho it's hard I actually felt like living on my own easier but learning to understand my autism is hard and alot
I had roommates for 20 years and moved from Alaska to NY, NJ, then central Massachusetts and now Phoenix. I've had my own place for almost 3 years now. It's really interesting. I've lived in rural areas and cities. I definitely prefer cities. I enjoy having and making friends, but I love relaxing and exploring on my own. Anyway, your perspective and struggles are understandable. Take your time and get settled in. Have fun. Stay chill.
Thank you SO much for your content and sharing your experience...I really relate to a lot of it. 💛 I have not been formally diagnosed but am 99% sure I have a sensory processing disorder and have several family members with ASD. I'm 45 years old and have had a dog since I was 22 and can really relate to how having a dog "organizes my day" (plus I LOVE dogs and my dog specifically!). I, too, forget to eat/rarely feel hungry (but would never forget to feed my dog), so I have a rule that I eat when my dog eats. Same with exercise and walks and spending time in nature...all of those things help me equalize my senses...and my dog needs to be walked 3 times/day. So it all works out, everybody wins. Thank you for sharing your experience with Evie, it really clarified my own experience. 💛 Moving to a new place is really hard, so congrats to you for taking that brave step! And also being gentle with yourself to take the time you need....
Thanks for this video! Cooking and cleaning are always a challenge for me too and if I have to do dishes before I can cook a meal I am very likely to skip that meal. How I accommodate this: - Easy 'struggle snacks' for low-energy days (frozen meals, leftovers, cereal, etc) - One-pot meals - the fewer dishes I use, the fewer dishes need to be washed! (soups, stews, kraft dinner) - Frozen/canned veggies - keeping fresh veggies and using them before they go bad is hard. I try to keep frozen spinach, broccoli, mixed veg and add those to soups and sauces I hope everything's going well and happy that you still have your weekly group for a while to get that social time. Cheers!
As a petite young women i was always taught to never tell strangers that you live alone. But here we are..... crazy people out there, man. Please be careful with what you share.
Thank you so much for this video, please do more like this one, my daughter will be in high school soon it helps to have ideas about preparing her for that transition to adulthood, thank you ❤
I really like to be alone. Sometimes its lonely tho. I think the challenge is to find interesting and intellectually stimulating people which are VEEEERY rare.
I love content creators such as you and wish people like you were the popular “influencers” so they we can influence society to be kind, compassionate, communicative, and tolerant. I hope you have a better time moving forward with your move. I’m so jelly! New Hampshire sounds very amazing! Wow! ❤
Having a calendar will save your life, I personally color-coordinate mine to further help with the visual side of things since I'm that kind of autistic. Don't know how much that'll help, but I figure to put it out into the general universe in addition to doing the photos for certain tasks.
Late diagnosed Audhd here. Just got done living alone for a year. Couldn’t do it. At least not right now. I also learned about being neurodivergent while living alone. So the weight of everything was a bit too much. Definitely prefer being alone, but I like having other people exist in the same space. Commend you for your journey! I hope your experience is a good one. Hopefully one day I can give it another go.
I really can relate to the problems that you described about cleaning. I always get triggered quickly by my room not being fully clean, yet don't have the energy to go and clean it up, which only makes it worse. But funfact: You actually gave me the motivation to use the time I listened to your blog to clean my room in the background. So thanks, it actually was a huge help
That seems like a really awesome house, Congratulations! Every time I move I end up staying up all night and relying on coffee to keep going. For me these major changes in my environment and location are very overwhelming, I find it a total shock to my system especially if I am alone. I don't think its you being lazy iether if your actually moving alone for the first time that's a major change for anyone period. Sounds like your quite outgoing I never would have had the courage to join a random friend group. All the best in your new home!
Fellow AuDHDer here. I always cook for three days. Kinda like meal prep but without the need of a freezer bc if I freeze my stuff, I’ll forget it exists. Doesn’t happen with the fridge. That way I can clean up on the day after cooking if it’s too much. I also got a robot vacuum (Roborock Q Revo) to clean the floors which I love bc I work 6 days per week and 10h per day most of the time so after that I’m too exhausted and my brain needs to wind down.
I just moved too- when I saw this video update I had to click on it immediately cause I’m going through the same thing. We went from living w my boyfriend’s family- 7 people in one house- to just us and we couldn’t get more than a weekend off to do it so it’s been driving things over slowly for awhile now. All the change has been really hard for me and I’ve been having a hard time sleeping too, esp because there’s no AC here and we’re having a 5 day heatwave. But luckily a friend is going to loan us an AC unit, at some point eventually we will be done unpacking and while the quiet is kinda unnerving right now, I know in time I will love having this space and once I decorate, it will feel like a home. Best of luck with everything, I love your content and I can’t wait to see more!
Having no AC is the worst!!! I sending emotional support your way✨✨ also 7 ppl in one house yikes. Moving is tough but I’m sure ur glad to get away from all the ppl🥰🥰
If you can afford it, you can get a lot of food delivery these days! I have a friend who does this. It does require quite a bit of cash but it's very accessible for people who struggle with cooking-and-eating-and-cleaning.
I'm a (probably) neurotypical person just watching out of curiosity and I just wanted to say that it sounds like you're doing quite well for living on your own for the first time. I shared a house with many housemates during my years at uni and so many of us struggled with just the basic things like dishes and cooking or even remembering to eat vegetables those first few weeks. And then there's the issue of finding a good balance between looking after yourself and studying and also having a social life that many first year students struggle with. Even now that I've owned my own space for a year, I still haven't gotten the hang of all the cleaning that needs to be done because I'm always so busy so I'm impressed you were already cleaning and are so aware of needing to keep up with cleaning in your first few days already
I moved out last time with 17 (ran away first time with 13, was some time at foster care/aunt&uncle) and til today it feels like "I want to live with a mom and dad, I don't feel like I can make it".( I get 50 in some years...) But unfortunatly my mother was a horrible violent person, so that was no option. It is good You have this safety net to try out. Best wishes, honey!
3:18 I moved back to Vermont a little over 2 years ago. It was a great decision for me, living alone but with family nearby is the only I can be “independent”
Living alone is the only way I have managed to maintain my own physical health, which I know is the opposite of many allistic people. But living alone I can eat and exercise and sleep at the same time with the same routine every day, and if those routines are interrupted I do not take care of myself because my body doesn’t send signals to my brain like it should. It’s easy to call me rigid and I agree, but it’s the only way I’ve found to consistently care for myself after decades of painful trial and error. And it’s just easier to maintain those systems on a daily basis when living alone, for me.
I suffer from TMI and TMD in my conversation style. Too Much Information and Too Much Detail. I reveal too much, then I find myself in a bind later on. Please be careful! As a Counselor I can tell you that not everyone is as pure of heart and intention as we may think they are or they portray themselves as. My stepfather (rest his soul) taught me to be circumspect the hard way.
"Oh crap, my plan to make friends has backfired and now I have to talk to people", lol! Yep, it's comforting to know they're there, but overwhelming to talk on the phone or meet up. Same.
I have a Roomba i6+ that I set to run twice a week. It works really well to keep my floors clean, and it empties itself into a bin that only needs to be emptied once every 60 days. Definitely worth it
I appreciate you sharing your experience, I’m 23 and haven’t moved out yet. I’m excited for when it happens but the thought seems overwhelming. Seeing how you’re dealing with it definitely gives me some relief. I’m proud of you for taking this step in your life! Also 8:20 is SO relatable. I’m introverted and want to make friends but then when it starts happening I get anxious and have to stop myself from backing out lol
It is very interesting to heat about your concerns and struggles. I am still not diagnosed but leaning heavily towards Asperger's. There are couple of things that i learn along my way: moving to remote area (1.5 h drive to any meaningful civilisation) is hard long term. We are social people and still need some interactions. 1. Having network of 5 ppl to talk with is desirable as you dont feel you are too much of a burden to anyone, yet you have your social needs cared for to some extent. 2. For me, my mother was always a good person to ask about advice if i was uncertain about acquaintance action or behavior. Like, is it normal or red flag. 3. Whiteboard with days of the week/month is great. Add magnets. Have cards for major cleaning, laundry etc. Make sure you have used that card over a week. If you dont know what to do, look what cards are left this week 4. I prefer cooking once a week or so. Takes several hours. I also try to add a challenge to myself regarding cooking so it seems fun. You only clean once. Also if you can focus and there is downtime, try clean in the meantime while your meal is cooking. I try not to stress out if i am not following the recipe. Its fun improvisation, providing that important thing like meat or eggs are safe. Anything else you can get away with spices. I bought glass containers to portion my food for next 2-3 weeks. If you have enough dinner backlog, then you can eat today something that you cooked 2 weeks ago, and tomorrow something that you cooked today, so its not the same meal every day.
What you described was very interesting with making friends... I feel exactly the same. I want friends, I force myself to connect to people when the occasion rises, which costs a lot of courage. Then if they want to be friends or talk to me, I freeze and realize "Shit, now I have to talk to them... I hate Smalltalk. I don't know what to do..." And I'm so overwhelmed with the situation that I get back into my shell wanting friendships and basically having these issues in a cycle. I never knew I had autism, because at the time I was born none of that was really known and I was just the weird person who spend all time alone and didnt have any friends and had weird habits and communication problems. Now that I research on psychological conditions I see my whole life now in a different perspective. I simply am wired differently and have different needs and work differently. Society doesnt care and humans often dont understand and have empathy. They assume the worst, lazyness, unwillingness to adapt, arrogance or whatever judgement they throw at you. I lost so much energy trying to adapt to society and the other people and didnt understand that I had different needs and had to adapt to my needs in order to maintain health mentally and physically. I can finally feel normal, understanding, that I'm not normal, if that makes any sense. :-D
I have tough time getting motivated because of my autism&asperger's makes it not so easy, I know it has to do with my past and I'm trying to work on that, I wish I had more support and positive feedback instead of negitive feedback from my family&friends not all of them.
Congratulations!! I'm excited for you and I hope the settling in gets smoother and calmer quickly. Difficulty making choices and knowing how well we're doing is very relatable. But I hope you keep in mind it's okay to tell people you have a lot changing and happening all at once and that you might not get back to them for a while. After big changes, I tend to throw myself into the social world and then have to back pedal a lot. I tend to be alone 90% of the time, and then suddenly people want to talk and try to hang out all the time and it stresses me out. But its also hard for me to not do that when I'm really needing solidarity and friendship. Its such a hard balance to keep. Are there any neurodivergent social groups in your area? This can be a great way to find people who are much more receptive to others who need longer periods of time in between social interactions because most will experience that on a deeper level too. Anyhow, if I knew you, I'm sure I'd be proud of you as a closer friend would. One step at a time, I bet you're doing even better than you think. Cheers!
I know this post is from a few months ago, do you have an air fryer? I have found it to be a godsend. They make these parchment paper liners for them and you can put them under your food so that you don't have to really clean anything afterwards. Just toss the liner once its cool enough to potentially touch the metal of the air fryer. and you can stick the basket component of the air fryer in the dishwasher and just wipe down the base of it with a soapy wet paper towel or sponge.
Super, super job on this video! One thing I do, in addition to the big calendar, is that I have a HUGE dry erase board, and multiple marker colors ...and I do a huge brain dump writing down anything and everything. Then I break things down into tasks and days, etc. so that I am able to plan. Before I got on medication for ADHD, my working memory was so bad that I bought small dry erase boards and wrote on there what task I was working on. My perception of time is so bad that I started doing task analysis on the time it takes me to do tasks. It reduces my anxiety to find out that it only takes me 7 minutes to put the hang-up clothes away. Had I counted on MY perception of time, I would have thought the task would take 30-45 minutes. Anyway. Im rambling
Hi. I'd recommend checking out the Fly Lady system for cleaning checklists and routines. I'm (self diagnosed) autistic and find them really helpful and customisable.
What about a radio or music station on the tv at really low volume for white noise for Evie so it makes it less stressful for her at night? Might help you too (you'll have another noise in the background so her barking wont be as stark in the quiet), because the new house noises wont be as apparent. Phrasing it like this so its for Evie>easier by bypassing the self judgment and doubt when its for you (hopefully).
I grew up without AC so we ran the fan at night...I find white noise really helpful. When I used to stay in hotels for work trips I always ran the fan for the AC/hearing unit all night. I would not have survived otherwise.
As a lone wolf-type person myself, the times I have lived alone were not my favorite, and I find it works best when I live with someone who also doesn't need a lot of face-to-face interactions. So we might eat meals together but we have our own spaces and things like that. We can hangout if we want to or parallel play or just silently watch shows (often the same shows or movies). Then, I don't have to do things outside alone. Alone, I start to get manic and feel very isolated and being in a place you don't know can make those feelings worse (I was once stranded in a random town for several days because of transportation issues and that was the worst I've ever felt being alone). I really hope you're safe, first and foremost, and that the longer you are there, the more comfortable you feel in your space, along with finding people there you enjoy spending time with when you want to spend time with people.
Do you think you will make a sensory room? With cool lights and comfort items? There’s a lot of really cool sensory lights like star projection, bubble lights etc? Also there’s like indoor swings and what not? It looks like you have a lot of space. When I moved out I built a safe space room and it significantly helped me
@@morgaanfoley ooohhhhh that sounds bomb!!! A few items I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. For a sensory room. Good noise canceling headphones Dimming colour changing light bulbs that come with a remote. Lots of tactile toys. Fairy lights A star projector with built in nebula and moon projecting features (these are so pretty and they often cover the full room but it can still be dark enough to be relaxing!) you can even find ones with soothing noises Jellyfish lamps they look so cool and are pretty to look at Sensory floor tiles A soft rug (mine is a crochet rug with moss and mushrooms so there’s a lot of soft and different textures) Govee Smart Table Lamp Moving Sand Art Picture they are round and can spin and some of them light up Crayola Magic paint Anything from PLAY LEARN they have like alit of cool sensory room stuff (Playlearn LED Bubble Lamp, glitter wall tile,Giant Sensory Ooze to name a few) HEXlights Sunrise Alarm Clock Some sort of nest or tent or swing. I saw some that are really fuzzy and soft Floating LED Cloud Light Cuddle Ball Knot Weighted plush toys / Weighted blanket (I often use both at the same time. You can even find ones that you can warm up in the microwave ) A mini projector that you can connect a phone or a tablet too and you can put any kind of video on it so luke a comfort show or a soothing scenery! Fuzzy blanket and lots of pillows with different textures and sizes I have a kids house shape bed and I kind of make like a nest with a lot of pillows and stuffed animals I also have fairy lights along the roof bar and a fuzzy blankets and a weighted blanket on this and I have like hanging bed bags along the sides that hold earplugs and sensory toys. Black out curtains You can also get like noise canceling wall paddings A good bookshelf or a rolling tiered tray for colouring books and activity books I’m sorry that’s a long list but I hope it gives you you some good ideas I don’t use this as my bedroom because I live with my boyfriend but it is where I go when I need my safe place we had a second smaller room .
This is so helpful! I totally relate to a ton of the independent living struggles you mentioned and it gives me a lot of hope to see another neurodivergent person figuring out how to use accommodations and make it work!
Congrats again on the move! It's definitely hard at first but overtime you will form habits that help with living alone. Ever since I realized I had autism, adhd, and anxiety I've started planning some changes to make things easier for me. I'd say my hardest challenge is cooking for myself daily and reminding myself that I should probably eat haha.
Living alone is too intimidating for me. I even remember saying as a pre-teen that I was never leaving my parents house (because I didn't want to be completely alone). Thankfully, I have a husband that lives with me, and I don't think he's leaving any time soon. I also am really good at my dogs' schedule. I get exhausted really quick though, so after I feed them and give my girl dog her medicine, I'm horrible at remembering to eat and take my own medicine.
The curly hair really suits you ❤. Thanks for inspiring me to make some hairdo… It was always a problem to me to do anything (except washing/brushing) with my hair bc it was tiring to do it every even 3 days in a row. But I see that you do it every video and it has inspired me!
I think you are doing really awesome with your move and it's cool to see putting yourself out there trying to make some friends :) In terms of worrying about making friends and not being sure about their intentions this could be something to potentially discuss with a therapist. I know this is sort of expensive but this is something I do for my own struggles. My therapist lets me book in for one or two sessions when I am going through a hard time and need help with a few big things going on in my life. I think in the last three years I have seen her like 10 times? It is like having a parent help me but without all the judgement or without them trying to take over and nag me to do what they think I should be doing. She has helped me with some of my interpersonal relationships and pointed out when people have been treating me badly or when I have been too rigid in my thinking. Like one time I got mad at someone for changing their mind about something and she reminded me that people are allowed to change their mind about things and somehow just hearing that I was like "Oh yeah that's true" and it really helped me.
hej Morgan, I recently watched your video about Autism and communication trauma. I have been researching Autism and ADHD in particular. And I loved the way you explain how communication is for you. Would you like making videos that explain how you try out new things to improve your communication trauma, to clarify: Give advice based on experience and how these experiences fold out, next to giving awareness about how autism works for you/others?
& yesyou we’re Brave! No need to sort just pick maybe 4 or 5 people that you actually feel excited / expansive / zero stressed & want to meet. You can probably feel their energy from a pic or what they write. N
I LOVE living near woodlands!!! I'm surrounded by woodlands where i am, but it's more fractured habitat than anything else, like suburbs and rural area combined. Love your house btw!! ... did you get your sheet set from Natural Life? Looks like one of the sets I have.
Hi Morgan, please be careful about sharing too many details on things/places that are near/close to where you live (for safety). I 100% understand the struggle when it comes to eating and feeding yourself, it can be so hard and I deal with it every day. Stay safe and good luck with your new chapter 🫶
- a fellow autistic human gal
I thought the same. Unfortunately there are lots of creeps on the internet.
So for legitimately non stalker reasons I pretty much figured out where that coffee place is. And I think she might have met someone I kinda know. Really not a stalker but they are right, it's scary easy
Solid advice (high functioning Aspergers with severe ADHD here)
th-cam.com/users/shortsksU9Da-wC2c?si=TmRv5OWd5l9fNtpy
Hard agree. It’s VERY easy to use info to figure out where someone is. Can’t stress this enough!
I’m autistic and have lived alone for about 8 years. It’s SO hard, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
The peace and quiet plus the being able to follow ur own schedule is amazing. It makes me so happy🥰🥰
@@morgaanfoley Also knowing that you can leave anything you want anywhere without it being touched and that no one is going to come bother you so you can be totally at peace with yourself 😄
same!
@@morgaanfoley Try hard not to over think your next actions. Let your body guide you. You have all the time in the world so don't put pressure on yourself to adapt too quickly. There is a lot to adjust to, but in time you will have it down. I am so envious of your new location. It seems so idyllic. All the best!
She reminds me of myself.
❤
Laziness is just a concept that people use to shame. Theres always a valid reason for the way you feel.
So what do you called people who can party, gaming and shopping instead of doing group project?
@@sowhat1674Irresponsible
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
Am I the only autistic person who wants to live alone 😅 I hate the noises at home, I can’t do anything when they are making noises 😃
Same🎉🎉🎉
My drive for autonomy was so strong when I was younger I moved out of home a few weeks before my 17th birthday(I'm now 48). It was definitely the right thing to do as my home life was far too aggressive/chaotic/loud for me. My step father was so proud he paid my first months rent and bought me a bunch of new CDs of my favourite bands. But boy did I struggle with life stuff - I was so proud of myself when I first registered to vote I literally called up most of my family to boast about it. Stop laughing - forms are scary for me!
@@lost_boy my fav boy band is here at last
Random 💀
Am I the only autistic person who's tried blocking them out with headphones? It's easy.. just crank the volume and I don't hear jack sh...
Girl, I wish I was like youuuuu. I want to move out so bad, and my parents think I want to get away from them. That’s partly true because I don’t want to be bound by liability rules, but it’s mostly the want to be in charge of myself. I have nothing against them, I just want independence. It’s so strong that I brought up emancipation several times, but considering my circumstances, it would screw me over on the long term especially with legal expenses. I only have like 8 months before I’m 18 anyway. Congratulations on you though! That has to have been liberating and exciting and stressful! Keep it up!
“Now I have to talk to people…” HA! Felt that 🥴🌚🫠
The idea of a friend is very appealing but actually talking to ppl… 😭😭
@@morgaanfoley Oh believe me girl I know! Friends have literally became taboo to me I have 0 literally 0 but I can hold side conversation so well, it’s just maintaining a true friendship has always been a struggle for me. People either always use me or by the time they get what they desire out of me I become old news to em or something 🤷♂️
You’ll make some friends though just keep believing in yourself! You got it :)
@@morgaanfoley Yeah, i heard you say you posted online and was a little surprised lol...posting is one thing, dealing with the replies is another.
@@iamFracture People always tell me I am a really nice and easygoing person to chat with but I have 0 friends because I have no energy to keep any friendship going.
@@entityself3104 Literally me. Like seriously. No exaggeration necessary. It can truly become quite lonely after awhile but I’m beginning to realize that loneliness comes with peace a lot of the times, and peace is the ultimate goal for me; so I wouldn’t trade it for any fake friendship that I’m already sure isn’t going to last anyways. Still to this day I get compliments on how kind I am, but one thing that I never get is someone who shows that same kindness back to me. You really gotta protect yourself out here… but we all don’t have to be destined to be forever alone unless that simply is our destiny. So all and all I wish you the best and hope some solid individuals come around you at some point and show you how much they appreciate you as their friend.
A piece of advice I can pass on for meeting people is, instead of going for coffee where you're seated across from each other, to go for walks in a nearby park. Extended eye contact is not expected as you can look toward the road ahead of you and the conversation tends to be less intense. It also promotes meeting people in a small group rather than one on one, which can be safer at first.
I never understood why people have dates meeting over a coffee. I think walks are much better idea.
Yes walking or doing an activity! That helps one with eye contact since you can just look at your activity and not their eyes and it isnt weird and also you dont feel the need to have to fill in the quiet pauses. If want company but dont have the energy to talk, having an activity gives you and them something to fill the space/time other than conversation, or if you want to talk but dont have a good conversation starter, just talking about what you are working on is a great start. By activity i mean something like crotcheting, sculpting, painting, or idk if you have other non-art hobbies that you can think of but things like that usually work well. Plus you end up with a momento of your time together!
@catepilarr yeah i have started to realize the idea of a coffee date or even a date at a restaurant are kind of intimidating. Like i feel forced to find something to talk about as we are staring at each other which makes me not able to find anything to talk about and then there is a limited number of external input to find a topic so i end up kind of anxious if the other person is not able to find a conversation starter as well or they dont flow the conversation well. I also feel like i get worried about ettiquette and once the food is out the conversation is just, "wow the food is so good. Oh and this looks so amazing!" And things more become more related to food. Walking on the other hand, you can enjoy the scenery and often it brings up memories, stories or interests to share.
I have a working system for food. I try to make 4 "big meals" a week where I actually cook from scratch and dirty dishes. But I make enough to have leftovers so that work is for more than one meal.
Love that idea! I’m starting with one home cooked/nice meal a week and hope to add more in time. So hard w groceries being what they are, not much room to experiment but we get by
I’ve not watched many but every time I watch your videos I cry so much. I feel so different and misunderstood by everyone but you talk exactly what’s in my brain and it is a lot emotionally for me
Powerful.
Now that you have quiet, get ready for you inner monologue to start getting louder and pondering things from the past...
I moved last februari, its still going on 😂😂
Me trying to make new friends: "I should walk around my neighborhood, this afternoon, getting exercise while chatting with people enjoying the nice weather."
Later, while on my walk: "There's some people outside up there, please don't talk to me, please, please, please, or at least nothing more than 'hello'', oh good, they didn't say anything!"
☺️ and if they walk up to me , I get nervous and start to chatter, to be friendly, then I go home and believe they must think I’m weird 🤦🏽♀️
I'm a 19 year old guy with autism and I have been having so many struggles getting on to my feet. Seeing this video was not only helpful in giving me the idea of what to expect in the future, but also how much I relate to the things that you are saying. You've earned me as a subscriber and I'm excited to see the other videos you will make.
35 here - good luck! There's some things we struggle with way more than NTs when moving out, studying, working, socializing and being young adults in general, but you will get better with time at building accommodations for yourself and finding people who help you up instead of beating you down - and I hope you will love yourself and your life realizing at one point that you would never want to trade it with anyone else :)
About cooking and cleaning. Take a habit of cleaning WHILE cooking. Say you mixed something in a bowl, you moved your mix to a pan, and DO wash the bowl right there. In perfect scenario once you finished cooking, you will have a clean kitchen and a pot with hot stew. All you will need to clean after meal is just your plate and one pot/pan.
☝🏻This works ☺️
I am 48 and only recently figuring out that I am autistic. I identify with you so much. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I would never have figured out my ADHD-I or ASD without creators like you. I sometimes feel like I want to return the favor and create my videos of my journey, but then I feel overwhelmed by the expectations that come from it and by coming out so to speak. No one knows except my husband and best friend. Sigh. You are doing great!
You describe yourself as “I’m just a 22 year old autistic ADHDer that likes to share my life experiences”
Lose the “just”.
You are a 22 year old autistic ADHDer with an amazing ability to clearly explain what you experience and feel. Sharing it this way is a valuable resource for others to learn from, help themselves and help others. Thank you.
Yeah, there's no "just" when it comes to living things. I say "Things" to cover it all, not to be demeaning.
Dropping these qualifiers or whatever they are called is a hard one. I've been working on it for years. I am 48 and just now figuring out that I am autistic. I wonder if using words like "just" is more common among neurodivergent females, because we feel like we have to explain and justify our very existence. Just another bit of the exhausting day-to-day of being neurodivergent in a world not made for us.
I agree with you that the way Morgan talks about her experiences is way clearer and easier to watch than possibly any other on this topic. She has a great ability to suss out what the differences between ND and NT people's experiences and social expectations are.
@@AndreaCrisp 51, male. I use "just" all the time. I don't think it's exclusively a girl thing. I've come to understand that saying "just" is like a bargaining word, to justify what I'm doing, or simply being, to avoid the criticism and judgement that has followed me my whole life as someone who is very late diagnosed.
Oh my gosh, as a fellow audhder, that thing about finding it hard to make decisions about how you should spend your time/what you should be doing is soooo relatable. It's so much easier to just have someone else tell you 😂
Also, I'm loving these videos so far! It's so affirming to see how another autistic person deals with these kinds of transitions. Thank you for sharing! 💙
I have trouble living by myself. The number of things to take care of are overwhelming. Including self care and care of the apartment.
I understand where you're coming from!
Woods are scary only to start with. Once you figure out the noises at night, you will not be so scared.
I am a country girl and I never thought woods are scary.
The friend thing… Yep… Being brave enough to ask for friends on a group, but then getting overwhelmed having to actually talk and get to know them.. And scared because I don’t recognize red flags in people...
I really hope this doesn't sound weird but the way you talk is so soothing. Your videos are so much fun to watch while crocheting, keep it up!
I've watched many of your shorts recently in an effort to understand my son better. He also just moved out on his own for the first time. When you mentioned NH and trying a local coffee chain, I immediately knew it was Aroma Joe's! Hope you love it as much as I do. We are also way out in the woods in NH, which is both great and challenging. Best of luck!
You're so endearing and adorable, I think a lot of people would be so happy to call you a friend once they understand your capacity to be active in the friendship is different from theirs and learn not to take it personally if you can't reply or hang out as often as they're used to. Looking forward to your next video!
It can be hard to keep up with everything living alone but I would never go back to not live alone
Exactly my thoughts too!!🥰🥰
@@morgaanfoley your place looks much bigger than mine though... cant imagine to clean all that... but it looks beautiful
Seeing you be open about your quandaries or self doubt is helping me realize how much I can doubt myself or just be too tentative & wondering. So thank you for your honesty❤😊
I've been a mom for my whole life, and my kids just left the nest. This is the very first time I'm living on my own, so suddenly I have time to pay attention to myself, and my daily struggles. When i watched a reel that talked about "t-rex arms" it was like wearing glasses for the first time. Suddenly, everything made sense. Living alone finally gave me the time to know and understand myself. It for SURE has it's difficulties, but at least i have more control over my environment, which is great for an adhd/autism person.
Hello!
Thank you for sharing your experience regarding autism, life accomplishments, your day to day adventures, and educating us! 😊 I enjoy watching your videos. I also have autism. I was recently diagnosed. I am 31 years old. I feel so comforted in the autism community. You're one of my favorite TH-camrs.
I also completely understand! I also have a hard time making friends. A lot of people take advantage of me without me knowing. A lot of people do not understand that I may want friends, but if I have to answer a bunch of people (more than 2), I will become overwhelmed. A lot of times, I won't answer.
I have a difficult time eating too. Mainly because I forget and I have two boys. I always make sure they are fed. But I also think that when I'm finished cleaning for the day, the last thing I wanna do is eat and make a mess, which completely makes sense to me.
I hope you have a good day.
A huge magnetized wall calendar I have saved my bacon.
For cleaning when cooking, I always clean as I make the mess. So if I measure something in a measuring cup I wash that before I do the next thing. If I spill I wipe it before I do the next thing. If you get in the habit of cleaning while you work you'll only have a tiny mess when you finish, which you can quickly dispatch before sitting down to eat or wait for it to cook. It will feel annoying and cumbersome until you're used to it but once you are you'll wonder why you ever did it differently. Oh - and make sure you're putting everything back in the same spot you got it from to save frustration later.
These methods worked for me until I had a kiddo and he got old enough to be in the kitchen when Mom is. Not sure how intrusive your doggies are but hopefully they can't get near the counters while you're working or pull things out of the fridge and cupboards!
I am also autistic and have adhd, and I just moved out too. It's very hard and I struggle so much with loneliness.
It should get better - fingers crossed. :)
(For me it proved best to find a group (or a few) through the hobbies I had, not too heavy or demanding socializing but with an opportunity to meet like-minded people on a more-or-less regular basis and establish some "home bases" in the town. I also relied on an online gaming community a lot back then..)
As someone who recently moved into my first house without roommates, thank you for this.
I'm AuDHD, 42, loving living alone. It does take time but I think you might really love it once you get the hang of it. For chores prioritization, I love the Tody app, can't recommend it enough. You can have your chores in order of what's the most overdue/dirty so if you don't know where to start, that helps a lot, plus there's a gamification aspect where you have to beat Dusty by cleaning more than he makes a mess. I've been using it since 2020 and my place is so much easier to clean and manage. (Not sponsored I just seriously love it that much). Congrats on your new place!!
I feel you on the slow adjustment phase. When my family moved years ago it took months for me to settle down and relax! It wasn't after I fully unpacked and decorated in my way that I could ease into the new place. You'll get there!
This helped me so much! I feel so understood. It's so inspiring to see that things i struggle with as an autistic person can be managed. Thanks for showing that to everyone!
As somone who was dignosed at 23 and now 26 and for me even tho it's hard I actually felt like living on my own easier but learning to understand my autism is hard and alot
I feel like i relate to you so much
I had roommates for 20 years and moved from Alaska to NY, NJ, then central Massachusetts and now Phoenix. I've had my own place for almost 3 years now. It's really interesting. I've lived in rural areas and cities. I definitely prefer cities. I enjoy having and making friends, but I love relaxing and exploring on my own.
Anyway, your perspective and struggles are understandable. Take your time and get settled in. Have fun. Stay chill.
Good luck, Morgan! Living alone can be scary but also exciting. I hope you find many things you enjoy about it, too.
Hi Morgan, just finished all of your videos and getting ready for a rewatch, thanks for all the content ❤
Thank you SO much for your content and sharing your experience...I really relate to a lot of it. 💛 I have not been formally diagnosed but am 99% sure I have a sensory processing disorder and have several family members with ASD. I'm 45 years old and have had a dog since I was 22 and can really relate to how having a dog "organizes my day" (plus I LOVE dogs and my dog specifically!). I, too, forget to eat/rarely feel hungry (but would never forget to feed my dog), so I have a rule that I eat when my dog eats. Same with exercise and walks and spending time in nature...all of those things help me equalize my senses...and my dog needs to be walked 3 times/day. So it all works out, everybody wins. Thank you for sharing your experience with Evie, it really clarified my own experience. 💛 Moving to a new place is really hard, so congrats to you for taking that brave step! And also being gentle with yourself to take the time you need....
suggestion: meet many people for a first time. make it three or so so that u'r safer? and then drop the ones u don't vibe with .
Thanks for this video! Cooking and cleaning are always a challenge for me too and if I have to do dishes before I can cook a meal I am very likely to skip that meal.
How I accommodate this:
- Easy 'struggle snacks' for low-energy days (frozen meals, leftovers, cereal, etc)
- One-pot meals - the fewer dishes I use, the fewer dishes need to be washed! (soups, stews, kraft dinner)
- Frozen/canned veggies - keeping fresh veggies and using them before they go bad is hard. I try to keep frozen spinach, broccoli, mixed veg and add those to soups and sauces
I hope everything's going well and happy that you still have your weekly group for a while to get that social time. Cheers!
I keep a lot of healthy frozen meals around. Life saver isn't it?
Living alone is a privilege.
As a petite young women i was always taught to never tell strangers that you live alone. But here we are..... crazy people out there, man. Please be careful with what you share.
Thank you so much for this video, please do more like this one, my daughter will be in high school soon it helps to have ideas about preparing her for that transition to adulthood, thank you ❤
I really like to be alone. Sometimes its lonely tho. I think the challenge is to find interesting and intellectually stimulating people which are VEEEERY rare.
I love content creators such as you and wish people like you were the popular “influencers” so they we can influence society to be kind, compassionate, communicative, and tolerant. I hope you have a better time moving forward with your move. I’m so jelly! New Hampshire sounds very amazing! Wow! ❤
Your new place looks super cute, good luck with this new beginning 😊
Having a calendar will save your life, I personally color-coordinate mine to further help with the visual side of things since I'm that kind of autistic. Don't know how much that'll help, but I figure to put it out into the general universe in addition to doing the photos for certain tasks.
Your so lucky! I can't wait until I live alone i'll have quiet and i'll get to be alone a lot more and finally not feel forced to socialize
Your actually my comfort youtuber 💞
Late diagnosed Audhd here. Just got done living alone for a year. Couldn’t do it. At least not right now. I also learned about being neurodivergent while living alone. So the weight of everything was a bit too much. Definitely prefer being alone, but I like having other people exist in the same space. Commend you for your journey! I hope your experience is a good one. Hopefully one day I can give it another go.
I really can relate to the problems that you described about cleaning. I always get triggered quickly by my room not being fully clean, yet don't have the energy to go and clean it up, which only makes it worse.
But funfact: You actually gave me the motivation to use the time I listened to your blog to clean my room in the background. So thanks, it actually was a huge help
Thank you for saying things out loud. It’s very validating. You’re doing great! ❤
That seems like a really awesome house, Congratulations! Every time I move I end up staying up all night and relying on coffee to keep going. For me these major changes in my environment and location are very overwhelming, I find it a total shock to my system especially if I am alone. I don't think its you being lazy iether if your actually moving alone for the first time that's a major change for anyone period. Sounds like your quite outgoing I never would have had the courage to join a random friend group. All the best in your new home!
You have a puppy?! you are so looked after :) No matter what may come your canine friend will never leave you!
The puppy might be annoying barking at the wind right now, but she's going to be a great security guard in the future lol
I have a beagle, a huntaway and a bloodhound cross. They all bark at everything foreign, but I have a security job so it works! @@chromberries7329
Fellow AuDHDer here.
I always cook for three days. Kinda like meal prep but without the need of a freezer bc if I freeze my stuff, I’ll forget it exists. Doesn’t happen with the fridge. That way I can clean up on the day after cooking if it’s too much.
I also got a robot vacuum (Roborock Q Revo) to clean the floors which I love bc I work 6 days per week and 10h per day most of the time so after that I’m too exhausted and my brain needs to wind down.
I just moved too- when I saw this video update I had to click on it immediately cause I’m going through the same thing. We went from living w my boyfriend’s family- 7 people in one house- to just us and we couldn’t get more than a weekend off to do it so it’s been driving things over slowly for awhile now.
All the change has been really hard for me and I’ve been having a hard time sleeping too, esp because there’s no AC here and we’re having a 5 day heatwave.
But luckily a friend is going to loan us an AC unit, at some point eventually we will be done unpacking and while the quiet is kinda unnerving right now, I know in time I will love having this space and once I decorate, it will feel like a home.
Best of luck with everything, I love your content and I can’t wait to see more!
Having no AC is the worst!!! I sending emotional support your way✨✨ also 7 ppl in one house yikes. Moving is tough but I’m sure ur glad to get away from all the ppl🥰🥰
If you can afford it, you can get a lot of food delivery these days! I have a friend who does this. It does require quite a bit of cash but it's very accessible for people who struggle with cooking-and-eating-and-cleaning.
I'm a (probably) neurotypical person just watching out of curiosity and I just wanted to say that it sounds like you're doing quite well for living on your own for the first time. I shared a house with many housemates during my years at uni and so many of us struggled with just the basic things like dishes and cooking or even remembering to eat vegetables those first few weeks. And then there's the issue of finding a good balance between looking after yourself and studying and also having a social life that many first year students struggle with. Even now that I've owned my own space for a year, I still haven't gotten the hang of all the cleaning that needs to be done because I'm always so busy so I'm impressed you were already cleaning and are so aware of needing to keep up with cleaning in your first few days already
This has literally been like watching myself do a day, thank u
Morgan … I feel the same way - do not say personal info on the internet their are people who are not safe and you need to guard your self and be aware
As always, very nice vlog, Morgan. Congratulations on the move!
So proud of you, Morgan! Hope everything goes well
I moved out last time with 17 (ran away first time with 13, was some time at foster care/aunt&uncle) and til today it feels like "I want to live with a mom and dad, I don't feel like I can make it".( I get 50 in some years...)
But unfortunatly my mother was a horrible violent person, so that was no option.
It is good You have this safety net to try out. Best wishes, honey!
3:18 I moved back to Vermont a little over 2 years ago. It was a great decision for me, living alone but with family nearby is the only I can be “independent”
Living alone is the only way I have managed to maintain my own physical health, which I know is the opposite of many allistic people. But living alone I can eat and exercise and sleep at the same time with the same routine every day, and if those routines are interrupted I do not take care of myself because my body doesn’t send signals to my brain like it should. It’s easy to call me rigid and I agree, but it’s the only way I’ve found to consistently care for myself after decades of painful trial and error. And it’s just easier to maintain those systems on a daily basis when living alone, for me.
also, having quiet alone time every day is game changing.
I suffer from TMI and TMD in my conversation style. Too Much Information and Too Much Detail. I reveal too much, then I find myself in a bind later on. Please be careful! As a Counselor I can tell you that not everyone is as pure of heart and intention as we may think they are or they portray themselves as. My stepfather (rest his soul) taught me to be circumspect the hard way.
"Oh crap, my plan to make friends has backfired and now I have to talk to people", lol! Yep, it's comforting to know they're there, but overwhelming to talk on the phone or meet up. Same.
I have a Roomba i6+ that I set to run twice a week. It works really well to keep my floors clean, and it empties itself into a bin that only needs to be emptied once every 60 days. Definitely worth it
I'm so glad you are becoming independent and also like aroma joes I also like them. It's a treat for me.
I appreciate you sharing your experience, I’m 23 and haven’t moved out yet. I’m excited for when it happens but the thought seems overwhelming. Seeing how you’re dealing with it definitely gives me some relief. I’m proud of you for taking this step in your life!
Also 8:20 is SO relatable. I’m introverted and want to make friends but then when it starts happening I get anxious and have to stop myself from backing out lol
Interest groups in your local or wider area are a good thing, common interests to discuss/do.
You are so brave! I'm 18 and live with my parents, but I hope that one day I will be as brave as you and be able to live on my own.
I loved this. Thank you for sharing.
It is very interesting to heat about your concerns and struggles. I am still not diagnosed but leaning heavily towards Asperger's. There are couple of things that i learn along my way: moving to remote area (1.5 h drive to any meaningful civilisation) is hard long term. We are social people and still need some interactions. 1. Having network of 5 ppl to talk with is desirable as you dont feel you are too much of a burden to anyone, yet you have your social needs cared for to some extent. 2. For me, my mother was always a good person to ask about advice if i was uncertain about acquaintance action or behavior. Like, is it normal or red flag. 3. Whiteboard with days of the week/month is great. Add magnets. Have cards for major cleaning, laundry etc. Make sure you have used that card over a week. If you dont know what to do, look what cards are left this week
4. I prefer cooking once a week or so. Takes several hours. I also try to add a challenge to myself regarding cooking so it seems fun. You only clean once. Also if you can focus and there is downtime, try clean in the meantime while your meal is cooking. I try not to stress out if i am not following the recipe. Its fun improvisation, providing that important thing like meat or eggs are safe. Anything else you can get away with spices. I bought glass containers to portion my food for next 2-3 weeks. If you have enough dinner backlog, then you can eat today something that you cooked 2 weeks ago, and tomorrow something that you cooked today, so its not the same meal every day.
Love this vlog and would love more videos following your life in your new home ✨
What you described was very interesting with making friends... I feel exactly the same. I want friends, I force myself to connect to people when the occasion rises, which costs a lot of courage. Then if they want to be friends or talk to me, I freeze and realize "Shit, now I have to talk to them... I hate Smalltalk. I don't know what to do..." And I'm so overwhelmed with the situation that I get back into my shell wanting friendships and basically having these issues in a cycle. I never knew I had autism, because at the time I was born none of that was really known and I was just the weird person who spend all time alone and didnt have any friends and had weird habits and communication problems. Now that I research on psychological conditions I see my whole life now in a different perspective. I simply am wired differently and have different needs and work differently. Society doesnt care and humans often dont understand and have empathy. They assume the worst, lazyness, unwillingness to adapt, arrogance or whatever judgement they throw at you. I lost so much energy trying to adapt to society and the other people and didnt understand that I had different needs and had to adapt to my needs in order to maintain health mentally and physically. I can finally feel normal, understanding, that I'm not normal, if that makes any sense. :-D
I have tough time getting motivated because of my autism&asperger's makes it not so easy, I know it has to do with my past and I'm trying to work on that, I wish I had more support and positive feedback instead of negitive feedback from my family&friends not all of them.
Congratulations!! I'm excited for you and I hope the settling in gets smoother and calmer quickly. Difficulty making choices and knowing how well we're doing is very relatable. But I hope you keep in mind it's okay to tell people you have a lot changing and happening all at once and that you might not get back to them for a while. After big changes, I tend to throw myself into the social world and then have to back pedal a lot. I tend to be alone 90% of the time, and then suddenly people want to talk and try to hang out all the time and it stresses me out. But its also hard for me to not do that when I'm really needing solidarity and friendship. Its such a hard balance to keep. Are there any neurodivergent social groups in your area? This can be a great way to find people who are much more receptive to others who need longer periods of time in between social interactions because most will experience that on a deeper level too. Anyhow, if I knew you, I'm sure I'd be proud of you as a closer friend would. One step at a time, I bet you're doing even better than you think. Cheers!
this is GREAT. Thank you for sharing. Autism is very misunderstood, (un-understood?) I'm glad to find people in the community
I know this post is from a few months ago, do you have an air fryer? I have found it to be a godsend. They make these parchment paper liners for them and you can put them under your food so that you don't have to really clean anything afterwards. Just toss the liner once its cool enough to potentially touch the metal of the air fryer. and you can stick the basket component of the air fryer in the dishwasher and just wipe down the base of it with a soapy wet paper towel or sponge.
Super, super job on this video! One thing I do, in addition to the big calendar, is that I have a HUGE dry erase board, and multiple marker colors ...and I do a huge brain dump writing down anything and everything. Then I break things down into tasks and days, etc. so that I am able to plan. Before I got on medication for ADHD, my working memory was so bad that I bought small dry erase boards and wrote on there what task I was working on. My perception of time is so bad that I started doing task analysis on the time it takes me to do tasks. It reduces my anxiety to find out that it only takes me 7 minutes to put the hang-up clothes away. Had I counted on MY perception of time, I would have thought the task would take 30-45 minutes. Anyway. Im rambling
Moving is stressful anyway. You are so lucky to have the house. I wouldn't be able to cope with the stress of a long drive back and forth everywhere.
Buy an air fryer! It's made my life so much easier. I don't always forget to eat but I hate having to clean up.
Hi. I'd recommend checking out the Fly Lady system for cleaning checklists and routines. I'm (self diagnosed) autistic and find them really helpful and customisable.
What about a radio or music station on the tv at really low volume for white noise for Evie so it makes it less stressful for her at night? Might help you too (you'll have another noise in the background so her barking wont be as stark in the quiet), because the new house noises wont be as apparent. Phrasing it like this so its for Evie>easier by bypassing the self judgment and doubt when its for you (hopefully).
Oh my gosh that is a brilliant idea!! Thank you
I grew up without AC so we ran the fan at night...I find white noise really helpful. When I used to stay in hotels for work trips I always ran the fan for the AC/hearing unit all night. I would not have survived otherwise.
As a lone wolf-type person myself, the times I have lived alone were not my favorite, and I find it works best when I live with someone who also doesn't need a lot of face-to-face interactions. So we might eat meals together but we have our own spaces and things like that. We can hangout if we want to or parallel play or just silently watch shows (often the same shows or movies). Then, I don't have to do things outside alone. Alone, I start to get manic and feel very isolated and being in a place you don't know can make those feelings worse (I was once stranded in a random town for several days because of transportation issues and that was the worst I've ever felt being alone). I really hope you're safe, first and foremost, and that the longer you are there, the more comfortable you feel in your space, along with finding people there you enjoy spending time with when you want to spend time with people.
Do you think you will make a sensory room? With cool lights and comfort items? There’s a lot of really cool sensory lights like star projection, bubble lights etc? Also there’s like indoor swings and what not? It looks like you have a lot of space. When I moved out I built a safe space room and it significantly helped me
Yes! I’m hoping to turn my bedroom into a perfect sensory place with fun nightlights and stuffed animals and stuff like that!!🥰🥰
@@morgaanfoley ooohhhhh that sounds bomb!!!
A few items I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. For a sensory room.
Good noise canceling headphones
Dimming colour changing light bulbs that come with a remote.
Lots of tactile toys.
Fairy lights
A star projector with built in nebula and moon projecting features (these are so pretty and they often cover the full room but it can still be dark enough to be relaxing!) you can even find ones with soothing noises
Jellyfish lamps they look so cool and are pretty to look at
Sensory floor tiles
A soft rug (mine is a crochet rug with moss and mushrooms so there’s a lot of soft and different textures)
Govee Smart Table Lamp
Moving Sand Art Picture they are round and can spin and some of them light up
Crayola Magic paint
Anything from PLAY LEARN they have like alit of cool sensory room stuff (Playlearn LED Bubble Lamp, glitter wall tile,Giant Sensory Ooze to name a few)
HEXlights
Sunrise Alarm Clock
Some sort of nest or tent or swing. I saw some that are really fuzzy and soft
Floating LED Cloud Light
Cuddle Ball Knot
Weighted plush toys / Weighted blanket (I often use both at the same time. You can even find ones that you can warm up in the microwave )
A mini projector that you can connect a phone or a tablet too and you can put any kind of video on it so luke a comfort show or a soothing scenery!
Fuzzy blanket and lots of pillows with different textures and sizes I have a kids house shape bed and I kind of make like a nest with a lot of pillows and stuffed animals I also have fairy lights along the roof bar and a fuzzy blankets and a weighted blanket on this and I have like hanging bed bags along the sides that hold earplugs and sensory toys.
Black out curtains
You can also get like noise canceling wall paddings
A good bookshelf or a rolling tiered tray for colouring books and activity books
I’m sorry that’s a long list but I hope it gives you you some good ideas
I don’t use this as my bedroom because I live with my boyfriend but it is where I go when I need my safe place we had a second smaller room .
@@wolfc5712wow ty for this list of cool sensory things. I'm going to make an Amazon wishlist for my sensory room! ❤🎉
This is so helpful! I totally relate to a ton of the independent living struggles you mentioned and it gives me a lot of hope to see another neurodivergent person figuring out how to use accommodations and make it work!
This is cool! You should do live shows!!! Your dog is great!
Congrats again on the move! It's definitely hard at first but overtime you will form habits that help with living alone. Ever since I realized I had autism, adhd, and anxiety I've started planning some changes to make things easier for me. I'd say my hardest challenge is cooking for myself daily and reminding myself that I should probably eat haha.
Living alone is too intimidating for me. I even remember saying as a pre-teen that I was never leaving my parents house (because I didn't want to be completely alone). Thankfully, I have a husband that lives with me, and I don't think he's leaving any time soon.
I also am really good at my dogs' schedule. I get exhausted really quick though, so after I feed them and give my girl dog her medicine, I'm horrible at remembering to eat and take my own medicine.
The curly hair really suits you ❤. Thanks for inspiring me to make some hairdo… It was always a problem to me to do anything (except washing/brushing) with my hair bc it was tiring to do it every even 3 days in a row. But I see that you do it every video and it has inspired me!
I love you and your videos, Morgan!
I saw a HUGE whiteboard calendar at Michael’s - they also had other sizes, but they were cuter than Walmart’s.
I think you are doing really awesome with your move and it's cool to see putting yourself out there trying to make some friends :) In terms of worrying about making friends and not being sure about their intentions this could be something to potentially discuss with a therapist. I know this is sort of expensive but this is something I do for my own struggles. My therapist lets me book in for one or two sessions when I am going through a hard time and need help with a few big things going on in my life. I think in the last three years I have seen her like 10 times? It is like having a parent help me but without all the judgement or without them trying to take over and nag me to do what they think I should be doing. She has helped me with some of my interpersonal relationships and pointed out when people have been treating me badly or when I have been too rigid in my thinking. Like one time I got mad at someone for changing their mind about something and she reminded me that people are allowed to change their mind about things and somehow just hearing that I was like "Oh yeah that's true" and it really helped me.
I noticed your crocheted top with admiration. Can you share the pattern? I LOVE to crochet!!!
In our family most of "cleaning" part is now done by mopping robot. Saves lots of energy.
I’m autistic and have lived alone for 4 years and It’s great
hej Morgan, I recently watched your video about Autism and communication trauma. I have been researching Autism and ADHD in particular. And I loved the way you explain how communication is for you. Would you like making videos that explain how you try out new things to improve your communication trauma, to clarify: Give advice based on experience and how these experiences fold out, next to giving awareness about how autism works for you/others?
& yesyou we’re Brave! No need to sort just pick maybe 4 or 5 people that you actually feel excited / expansive / zero stressed & want to meet. You can probably feel their energy from a pic or what they write. N
I LOVE living near woodlands!!! I'm surrounded by woodlands where i am, but it's more fractured habitat than anything else, like suburbs and rural area combined. Love your house btw!! ... did you get your sheet set from Natural Life? Looks like one of the sets I have.
lol i’m scared of the dark too! it’s just really scary to look into the dark and my mind tries to make up scary images.