Therapist Reacts to MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ธ.ค. 2021
- How can you navigate change, stress, or sadness? How can you be a good parent as your kids navigate those emotions?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright look to the absolutely delightful anime My Neighbor Totoro for some of the answers. This film is in many ways a guidebook for warm, affirming parenting as both the mother and father show love toward their children, and listen to their stories and concerns. For all the surreal and fantastical elements in this movie (like the giant cat bus, the soot sprites, and of course Totoro), it shows pretty realistic relationships between Mei and Satsuki and how they deal with their mother's illness. This movie just feels like wrapping up in a blanket of love and goodness.
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Jenna Schaeling
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
"It's like a movie made by children, if they could write brilliant screenplays" is the most concise and accurate description of this movie
Miyazaki is pretty much a child stuck in an old man's body ...
@Gon Itadori fuck no. Furry propaganda film
They're not wrong, because a lot of his writing is Miyazaki coping with childhood trauma. He grew up in a country leveled by bombs, disease, and post-war trauma.
its funny though because Miyazaki is actually a terrible father to his son
When I was child, I really felt sympathy for their feelings.
Goonies, Stand by Me, and Home Alone, I enjoyed those movies, but I didn't feel sympathy. Because they were funny and cool, I admired. For sure they are made by adults.
I always felt for Satsuki, watching Totoro. She has all the same emotions and anxieties as Mei, but feels like she has to keep the bottled up and keep control for Mei's sake. When she finally lets it all go in the aftermath of Mei's tantrum, you realize what a silent burden this has been for her.
As an oldest child, I have had to be Satsuki.
Especially since she's old enough to have some understanding that their mom is very, very sick.
@@oracleofthemundane9593 I'm right there with you
@@oracleofthemundane9593 Me too, buddy. Of course, my version of it was still a silly, jokey, emotional child, but at the same time I was kinda expected to always be positive and understanding and mature in an emotional sense. Didn't exactly... get to release much sadness, stress or anger, and yay now I don't even know what makes me angry, before it hits me out of the bushes! Yay for... conflict avoidance..?
Thank you for saying this. As the older sister who always tries to look after my brother, with a severely depressed mum who's been hospitalized before, I feel this very strongly. Satsuki's struggle is very relatable.
Miyazaki's ability to accurately capture children and how they act is part of why Grave of Fireflies was so gut wrenching.
Isao Takahata directed Grave of the Fireflies but agree that all Studio Ghibli movies are masterclass in storytelling
I once spam message in the comment section for them to see my request for the reaction to Grave of The Fireflies.
I failed.
火垂るの墓
I don't want to touch this pain for the second time in my life
bless the children of the world
@@themask4536 yes it’s so depressing
@@yawaakongkinabuhi2465 They already made a video
Me: *crying because everything you guys are saying is hitting and making me rethink my most important relationships*
The video: *Rick rolls me*
for real😭
Oh thank god I’m not the only one crying…
wait-
what ?
update 3 minutes after commenting: FUCK
Sameee
I feel like this film is basically a 'slice of life' film, which is sadly rare in Western animation or kids' movies. People too often assume that kids only enjoy noisy, high-action drama but it's not true. Totoro is very immersive and relatable to all ages because it feels like real, heartfelt childhood moments, even the gentle fantasy aspects.
I agree! It was one of my favorites growing up. Me and my sister had a catbus plushie
I first watched this movie when I was 5, and it was rented so often that my uncle bought me the VHS (I still have it to this day). So yeah, kids like those types of movie as well XD
This is why I love "slice of life" anime in general. Some of them are on a more dramatic scale/side and deal with real life problems in a very realistic perspective, but a lot of them are just SO squishy and wonderful (even with a few conflicts thrown in here and there). They are shows I watch when I need an emotional break or when I want to rewatch something that doesn't have that strong conflict.
o.o
I loved this movie growing up! Between Miyazaki films and Pixar I've come to realize my favorite sort of storytelling can be best described as "slice of life, but one fantastic element". Like moving into a new town and meeting the neighbor, but he's a forest spirit. Trying to reconnect with an estranged family member, but while in the land of the dead. Starting a delivery business in a new town, but the method is flying on a broom. Fulfilling a passed loved one's life goal for closure, but it's done with a house attached to balloons. And there's so many beautiful, quiet moments in all these movies that made the immersion into the story so, well, immersive! My Neighbor Totoro was the first movie to introduce me to that idea, and it stuck with me since.
Alan, teary eyed: just a dad, connecting with his kids in a way they understand.
Me: I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG BUT YOU'RE ALL THE WAY OVER THERE.
Omg this cute comment, and then the s*x slave reaction to it, jeez the internet is ff'd up xD
@@nadjadebruin6227 its a bot that i think tags comments with lots of likes. Basically trying to maximize visibility.
@@isapheonix Yeah I know, it's just that the contrast was hilarious
I KNOW RIGHT
God that's a mood
This movie was so important to me as a child. I was almost EXACTLY in the same situation as this family. Older sister, mom chronically ill, dad working long hours. I felt seen. I felt hope. I love this movie with all my heart.
17:56 Satsuki is also venting her own frustrations at Mei, she's had to look out for her sister to a far more emotional extent, including making food for her whole family, constantly babysitting Mei (while only being 10 years old) & doing her best to break bad news to her sister in a calm way but when Mei reacts like any 4 year old would, it's all just too much.
Yess...I wanted them to touch up on this. How satsuki is kind of like second parent to mei. She reminds me of my elder sister and brother who had to look out for me and my younger sister.
In Japan in the middle of the Showa period, it was normal for children to do housework. So Satsuki doesn't have any stress or complaints about that. This is one of the differences between Asia and Western countries, and you need to recognize that Totoro is a movie that reflects Japanese culture. It was a Japanese who made this movie. She yelled at Mei because she was also worried that her mother wouldn't come back. She is mature for her age, but her heart is still a small child who misses her mother.
@@user3040lili It was also normal in Austria a couple of generations ago. Espically in the county side. Only rich people could afford a nanny. Even me and my brother did a lot of housework when we were little (no cooking alone we only helped our mother) and I looked after our little brother at least in the afternoon from time to time when I was 10. And between middle school and high school me and my brother (who is 2 years younger) stayed at home in the evening/afternoon to watch our older sister. who is in the spectrum. (I was born in the 80s).
Yes I agree as a Japanese woman with a younger sister growing up
I love how they don't attribute everything to "Japanese being Japanese". While it is good to acknowledging cultural differences, it's also beneficial to acknowledge what people do on fundamentally human level -- excellent parenting, children being caught up in their feelings, etc..
Probably because it's not a "Japanese thing". Most Asian parents are strict and harsh towards kids, comparing to Western parents.
SO true. There's a whole subreddit ( r/AsianParentStories ) where asian kids from all over just talk and vent and support each other dealing with the treatment from their asian parents. I could go into detail about it, but honestly, reading through those posts makes clear there are a lot of people using "It's our culture" to excuse some pretty serious abuse. There is a LOT of overlap with r/raisedbynarcissists, too.
@@DeathBringerBecky Man its so sad how many people joke about asian or mexican, etc parents too. Like people laugh but isn't it just abuse?? Idk if its how they cope I understand but I think it's too normalized :(
Sort of, but unfortunately it's apparently *not* just a "joke" or a "stereotype" or something.
I wish it was.
There's apparently a particular type of...Asian child abuse, I suppose you could call it.
I've heard of this from a few different Asian people.
It's just kind of...sad. ☹️
I guess different cultures all kind of tend to have their own different good and bad responses to children. 🙄
@@ae831 I AGREE!
It IS a form of coping with systematic abuse.
"You raise strong and harty children, if the learn to deal with hardship early." Yeah, but I'm NOT HERCULES, mom ! I'd love to hear "I love you," just once before we die 🥲😢😿😂💧
So many emotions I HAD to use emojis v.v
But yes, we are all human, I'd like for the acknowledgement to have been there. I know you do it for me, but, even just once, show me you did.
Damn, amazing how easy it is to get caught up in life, to where small things like that can be lost in translation.
Rant over.
Thank you VERY much for sharing what is, actually,pretty accurate.
Maybe by meeting others in the same position, we can get catharsis, and, eventually, healing.
"Slice of life" is a Japanese genre featuring this soft beauty that makes us ask "how is it not boring?" The entire series might be as simple as characters camping, or learning to fish, or making pottery. I really love it!
(If this genre also exists in American media, please excuse me, I am unfamiliar with any examples.)
Edit: More specifically the iyashikei (healing) slice of life Japanese genre of anime and manga, but genres are hard to define and agree on. Every story is unique, so it might be difficult to find a story that truly recreates the experience in Totoro.
I have a thing for "Slice of life". Just watching the small adventures of a kitten getting to know their environment can be surprisingly fun!
Slice of life can be found in America, but not often, especially when it comes to movies. Unless it's an independent film, it's not so much a thing in cinema here. There's also some shows that start off as slice of life and take a hard turn in the next season to adventure/gritty (I think that's because it makes it easier for the show to get green-lit if it's for kids). It's hard for me to think of examples myself.
@@InvdrDana I've seen it more in independent stuff, or a bit in documentaries, although the only example I remember watching as a kid that was remotely close, was This Is Daniel Cook, which followed a boy named Daniel on adventures he would go on. The episodes were named kind of as a subtitle, like, "This Is Daniel Cook At the Market" is one episode. It would be anything from crafts, to sports, to other things kids might do. Very short episodes, but it was interesting for the early elementary demographic, and had a sequel featuring a different lead character, but I had grown out of it at that point. I feel like Popular Mechanics for Kids and Mighty Machines were somewhat similar shows I watched as a kid, as they basically showed how different machines and devices worked, and followed the people who worked with them. But those are generally more seen as educational documentaries.
You named 3 examples that I have seen anime for or am about to. I love me a good healing slice of life anime
I am actually enjoying Slice of Life more and more.
Alan, you are spot on when talking about the magical moments a dad can provide for his kids that will stick with them!
When I was seven my Dad super supported my belief in Elves & Leprechauns and we built a little wooden house for them with a detachable roof. I'm 29 now and lost the roof somewhere during the years, but I still have the house which is now used as a cat bed. I feel really loved and proud of my dad when I look at it or when people ask about it.
How adorable. 🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♀️🏠
Especially the part about its new life as a cat bed. 🐈
Reminds me of what a friend said to her ex, when she encouraged him to do special things with the kids when he had them, his excuse is that they are too young and will forget it anyway... but she said they will still remember being HAPPY with their dad, and that will stick.
@@lucifang Yes, exactly. ^___^
Love how the dad in the movie is so great with his kids. ❤️💙❤️
Adorable. 🥰
I forgot to say earlier in here that cats are obviously part elf anyway. 🐈🧚♂️🧚♀️🐈
I always thought though that as the movie is meant for children AND adults, it's about being present with each other in general, and with the world around us - the trees, the flowers, nature, us experiencing life together and alone and telling stories about it, and talking about the stuff we don't understand because our perceptions as humans are limited to that - being human.
And that's what makes every movie by Hayao Miyazaki so beautiful to us ❤
In defence of Satsuki - I don't think in that scene she's trying to 'correct' Mei per se, because that's not her attitude throughout the movie. She's generally very kind and understanding. But she's also just a child, who is also scared about her mother. And at that moment, she doesn't have anyone to turn to, as the father is at work. But she's the 'big sister', and yet again she's got Mei wanting something from her, but at that point, she can barely handle her own fears, let alone deal with Mei's too. It's too much to expect a child to continuously play the role of mother to her younger sibling.
Exactly, she has the need to be a firm stone for her younger sister, but she thinks that thinking rational will give her sister what she needs
This point is made in the 1964 film, Mary Poppins. Bert reveals to the children what their father, Mr. Banks, must be going through and that he has no one to turn to for emotional support. It was then that I realized that the main character of the movie was not Poppins or the kids, it was Mr. Banks.
Hayo Miyazaki’s (the cofounder of Studio Ghibli and co-writer of Tonari no Toronto) mother suffered from tuberculosis when he was 7 years old and she got hospitalized for a few years before being able to receive home care. His family had to nove to the countryside because of that (also because of WW2), so this is a very personal story for Miyazaki. He used his own child memories to write, draw and paint the characters, scenarios and backgrounds; and of course, his child feelings and fears about his own mother to create Satsuki and Mei with very accurate emotions.
That is really beautiful. 🥰
I did not know that before.
Thank you for that information.
Oh man, the feels. Makes more sense now
Oh dang I didn't know that
This makes the final scene where they see the mom okay and leave the corn all the more difficult. I feel like it's illustrating the last moment of hope they will experience around this scary situation.
He also said that he first wanted to make the siblings boys but changed it because it would have been to painful to see his own childhood on the screen.
One scene that stands out to me is the moment when the youngest girl leaves flowers along her fathers desk while he’s working - “You be the flower shop, Daddy.”
I was really touched because I realised that this had to be based on life, someone lived a moment like that. The authenticity of everyday life in these films is really striking.
Watching this as a parent, there are so many funny moments with especially May. "Welp, I'm gonna go run some errands!" is something I've heard from my own kid when she was little and pretending to do grown up stuff.
Watching this as a parent, there are so many funny moments with especially May. "Welp, I'm gonna go run some errands!" is something I've heard from my own kid when she was little and pretending to do grown up stuff.
I forget, but I learned about how this is somewhat unique to Ghibli--I think Miyazaki was somewhat insistent on including little... nothing moments? in his films. Like you'll see it in Spirited Away too, where Chihiro is just staring out at the field, thinking, or especially for any eating moment in the films. It creates a pause to reflect and feel human and relate. It's so simple and beautiful.
@@RhizanthellaSlateri Miyazaki insisted in telling stories taking inspiration from real life. I think is one of the many things he criticized about current anime/manga culture as well.
@@RhizanthellaSlateri Hey, it"s called "Ma" and it's those moments where you just reflect. It really is a relief from all those fast-paced movies nowadays.
I love how the adults just…BELIEVE the children. They acknowledge that the spirits are real, and that only young children can see them. It’s so wholesome and affirming and sincere.❤
its also a very japense belief form, especially for the granny to believe it, since she likely "saw them when she was a girl" too
As someone on the spectrum I’ve had a lot of success dealing with little kids and even animals because of something that is often treated like an issue by people who don’t want to be patient or flexible with me: I take words at face value almost all of the time.
It’s easy to be annoyed by kids who are fighting with each other over nothing or start accusing each other of things, but I’ve also found that taking their complaints at face value and building from there the same way you would if two adult friends were arguing. That level of respect validates them and allows them to move on from the stage of complaining where they insist you take them seriously as fast as possible.
Highly recommend trying it next time you deal with kids or pets that won’t leave you alone, they’ve always responded well to it when I need to.
I'm not autistic but I have a strong tendency toward being blunt and forthright, and I often act as if everyone else is too, even if they're not. For personal reasons, I don't have much patience for bs. And kids fucking love me. I literally can't get rid of them. It's been like this since I was a teenager and just keeps happening. Because when they talk to me, I respond totally normally. I adjust things like vocab and swearing to suit their age, but otherwise I don't change how I communicate. Someone says "my friend died" I say "that's really sad, I'm sorry that happened". Someone says "I want goldfish crackers" I say "Me too, but I don't have any, and if I did, I wouldn't give them to you." Someone says "i have a crush on a girl at school", I say "well ask her out. she's not going to know until you tell her." Then they give me this Look like two action heros might give to eachother at the climax of a movie, and I know, I've accidentally gained their trust. I do not recommend, you'll never get rid of the neighbor's kids otherwise. Great for babysitting though. It's much easier to chase down a comrade than an enemy.
As someone who is also on the spectrum, what they said about "kids not being able to handle emotions" really spoke to me. I feel that what a lot of people don't understand is that I'm not emotional or sensitive out of choice, it's the way my brain works. When I'm sad I want to cry and to isolate myself., when I'm happy I want to jump around and stim, and so on.
I think the same people who can't understand those in the spectrum are the ones who can't understand children and the way their emotions work
ASD here too, it's amazing how well kids respond to just being treated like people. I don't even really like kids for more than 10 minutes, but they stick to me like glue.
Can you give some examples on how you're pulling that off with animals other than people? Got really curious! I love this comment and the replies it's gotten. I wanna learn to be more like y'all so badly!
I want to save your comment so I can remind myself of how you respond and try to do the same. Thanks so much for sharing
watched this movie with my boyfriend a while back, and I remember him just being amazed by how this dad treats his daughters and him saying "that is the kind of dad I want to be". Just such a wonderful wholesome movie
He sounds like a keeper! ;)
💜
I now know what to watch when I am learning about a new date. Lol. Observing how one reacts to positive parenting. Although, that seems kind of manipulative, so I suppose I shouldn't. That was a good idea though.
@@lyn3325 I don't think that's manipulative. I think it's fair.
@@rahuldhargalkar to be honest, I think you guys are overthinking this, lol (not trying to be mean, though)
Please PLEASE do something with Howl's Moving Castle. It's my all time favorite Studio Ghibli movie and it has such an amazing message about self acceptance.
Do this! the struggle for self-acceptance, confronting responsibilities and expectations it's just Begging for a Therapist
Seconding this!
Yes and also When Marnie Was There. Oh just any other Ghibli movie too lol
Literally any Ghibli movie.
Pleeeeeeeeease its my first and favorite
I think it's less that the dad was 'playing along' but that he's deep in the lore of Shinto spirituality. Regardless, his method of keeping the girls moving and explaining things is definitely meant to foster their imaginations and make them feel heard.
Makes me think of my dad and how he went to explore with us when we were younger. I don’t remember half the things I believed in but I know some of it was his ideas, he had a very vivid imagination
I lost my mother in November 2021, and I can relate so much to the scene where Mei is just screaming, "IT'S NOT FAIR!". I just wanted her to be able to come home one more time, so we could make cookies and watch an anime and just be close together one more time, but she never got to leave the hospital. I still have a raging child inside me that wants to scream about how unfair it all is.
I can relate I lost my mom in January 2021 and she never got to leave the hospital. It does still feel unfair that I couldn't have one more moment with her at home.
The scene where Mei has a tantrum because Mom isn't coming home is a revelatory one. Throughout the movie the focus has been on Mei, cute little rambunctious Mei, with her worrywart older sister trying hard to shepherd her. In this scene, we see all the weight Satsuki carries inside her. Mom might never come home, and Satsuki is very aware of how ill she is. She tries to shield her little sister from that while also shielding her father by being as good and responsible as she can be. This one little scene is when that weight becomes unbearable, just for a moment.
Yes, Satsuki is trying so hard, and I relate so much, with some of my childhood experiences.
Me and my sister have a similar age gap (7 years apart) and after conceiving my sister, and having her 2 months premie, my mother's health went extremely downhill. Growing up aware of all of it was deeply concerning for kid me, esp. Knowing we were considerably poor, not having a car until I was in 7th grade.
Totoro is a film i wish my family had when we were growing up. (For my sis, she did, but i wish i had it sooner) i think it would have made life a little easier for all of us
Satsuki is very much acting like a child would. She’s not perfect. She’s also just as stressed as Mei, maybe even more because she actually knows how serious things are, and Mei doesn’t understand yet. She’s scared and stressed and trying to protect everyone, and faced with her sister’s stress she doesn’t know what to do with all of it, so she lashes out. We don’t see this kind of *realistic* sibling fighting that often.
That's exactly what I took from this scene. You can really see that Satsuki is also upset that mum isn't coming home. She struggles with these emotions and the added aggravation of having a crying toddler makes her express it al as anger.
"Do you want her to die?" I almost felt the same frustrating anger and unfairness of the universe as Satsuki did in that moment. I just know it's this hot white anger in your head that blinds you and your logic, bursting out as sharp weaponized words, because you have no avenue, no target for that feeling. You want to hurt others to make them feel as hurt as you do, you want them to realize and feel the same, to share the burden, but in the worst way possible.
The dad in this film actually reminds me a lot of my grandfather. We were outdoorsy and imaginative kids, but he tried, as old as he was to be with us as we played. I actually remember him telling us how all the animals and plants had spirits and we had to show them kindness and respect. Maybe this was his way of getting the kids to not wreck the garden, but his approach sounded so magical and made so much sense to a kid. He was a very kind and gentle man.
My grandpa has always been a very kind and nice man, I still remember all the times we went with him and our step-grandma to their summer cottage and went fishing together, gathered random plants and sticks and stones in the forest, made paper airplanes, threw ball... So much fun! He made even washing potatoes to prepare them for lunch fun, somehow! :D
the dad is great, i always liked to think I could see my own dad in him but alas.....
@Joshua Hancock, are you sure we didn't have the same grandpa? My mom's dad was a farmer right up until his final stroke, even when he was living in the city and unable to really get around outdoors anymore. A "very kind and gentle man" is an excellent description of him.
🥺. I love it.
Or it was his belief system and he doesn't need it to be rationalized and simplified.
If he was a great guy, you can take him seriously.
This reminded me of times that my dad used to come into mine and my sisters’ room and tell the three of us goodnight and we would keep asking him questions about how cars work or what all fire trucks can do or what C. S. In C.S. Lewis means. He’d answer us for a solid hour or so before we finally fell asleep. He worked 3 jobs at that time. We didn’t realize it as kids but now I can barely handle one full time job. I can’t ever imagine what he went through then and still he made time to show his love to us. Thanks for reminding me
Beautiful. Glad you had a great dad.
@@kitjohnson2767 he and I have definitely had our very rough patches, but I think that foundation is what made us both want to work towards understanding each other instead of all-out war. We were lucky to have a strong enough bond and I feel like it comes from those “simpler times” We were able to fall back onto the facts that we loved each other and wanted each other to be happy and that has helped us tremendously as I continue to introduce new and different points of view to him and he continues to learn and grow into a tolerant worldview. It would’ve been really easy for him to shut me down and I can’t appreciate more his willingness to understand me and my siblings and his desire to support us no matter our beliefs, sexuality, gender, etc
As Jono has said before, assuming good intentions in peoples actions can go a long way. I wouldn’t assume that of people who make a fortune off manipulating people but my dad? Yeah, I can accept he held hurtful beliefs before because he thought it was what’s best
“She’s so mean!” Literally exactly my younger brother and I growing up, throughout the entire movie we kept just saying “Look it’s you!”
Something i realize about being Asian and growing up in Asia is that we have a very casual relationship with the supernatural. In a way like ghosts, haunted places and spirits are just part of our daily lives. Whether you believe in it or not. I remember my lecturer in uni even used his home being haunted as an excuse for lack of sleep and being late from class - there are many stories like these. It's funny, it's charming and it's just culture. i lav it.
I think it's a beautiful thing. It makes life more mysterious and interesting. Life is more than just what we see :)
So it is in Latin America. I grew up with ghosts and the dead, ancestors, African nature entities/gods (brought to Brazil by people who were enslaved), catholic saints (my family is italian) , indigenous forest spirits. I live in the Netherlands, and I am so sorry that my son is missing that. It is such an enriching experience to your soul to feel this spiritual connection with nature, family and the unknown!
and supernatural stuffs are not always evil like here
You guys waiting for your lecturer: damn, wonder where the teacher is?
Your teacher, the previous night: istg these ghosts, man.
@@gborsonello you are totally right, i grew up hearing stories that my family would occasionally tell me, principally werewolves and ghosts
I would love to see an episode on Kiki's delivery service and burn out. It's one of my favorite ghibli movies and has the growth that Kiki goes through is so important
its my favorite Ghibli film too!
@@rubysmolen5155 Ooh yay! :D
@@rubysmolen5155 I have a service dog that I named Kiki. The name is almost always appropriately recognized by 10 year-olds we meet in the store.
Yes please, it’s my favourite too.
The Take has a video on this!!!
Damn, the moment satsuki asked her grandma what she should do if ever her mom died got me 😭 it’s like that shell she kept herself protected with just broke down at that moment, and she just started crying.
It's a beautifully-animated scene. But it's a little weird to hear the voice of Ursula the Sea Witch trying to console Satsuki.
yeah. When older siblings are always taking charge of things and parenting the younger siblings it can be difficult to remember that there's still just a kid behind that seemingly adult and mature facade, and they still need love and comfort too, especially during hard times like that
In fact, this scene was added later.
Producer Suzuki said to Miyazaki, "Satsuki is too mature. If she continues like this, she will become mentally ill because she can't show her weakness to others."
At first, Miyazaki disagreed with this opinion, but he retracted it the next day.
He then added a scene in which Satsuki cries because she cannot bear the fear that her mother might die.
Wow. I cried multiple times during this. Thank you. It's nice to hear 2 men tearing up, talking about emotions and the patriarchy. Well done.
Matriarchy and patriarchy don't exist one without the other, un the sense of the original meanings of the words (not the bastardized versuons that are now a byword and used only contemptuously to dismiss older cultures in favor of more recent, uhm, politicized perspectives).
You could have worded that a little different, but I completely agree. There's something very sweet about two dads being wholesome and tearing up because of their love for their children
@@Shiroi0moi I don't exactly see what was off about my wording. I just mean that, amongst all of the Amdrew Tate talk of the world, it's nice to have a reminder of this type of masculinity, that's all :)
@@celinepope there's nothing really wrong, but "patriarchy" is usually a dog whistle used by mysandrists
@@celinepope "Alpha" masculinity is the unhealthiest type of maculinity there is. Not just to the men themselves, who'll end up bottling up their emotions which could lead to depression, anger, aggression, suicidal feelings and predatory sexual behavior. BUt also for the people around them (especially women) who will become victims of said aggression and potential predatory sexual behavior.
The reason why he's called Totoro is because saying "troll" in Japanese would be "to-ro-ru" and Mei, being so little, fumbled it a little into "Totoro"
❤️
That’s so adorable. I love these movies so much
@@dumpsterDeity not disproving that, just saying that the in-universe reason for him being called Totoro is that, especially since there’s that scene of Satsuki questioning “Totoro? You mean a troll?” And in the credits you can see the girls with their nom reading a story book with a ‘troll’ under a bridge with a big mouth like Totoro
Has anyone else read the book that Miyazaki Hayao wrote in 1980 that is the original concept for the Princess Mononoke story before the animation came out? The original character of Mononoke Hime looks quite a bit like Satsuki and the “mononoke” spirit in the story looks very similar to Totoro and rides a top. Pretty interesting stuff.
@@michivallieres8334 Hayao Miyazaki had the idea of Totoro from around 1970. Some people say Princess Mononoke is another side of Totoro. The combination of gods (great spirits) and girls are one of his favourite concepts. So I believe Totoro and Princess Mononoke came from the same place. Totoro is one of the "great spirits" and mononokes in Princess Mononoke are also great spirits (Kami in Japanese), so Totoro and Princess Mononoke so when Hayao Miyazaki draw the "image board" of Princess Mononoke, his imagination started from something looks like Totoro, I guess. Sorry my English is poor so not sure if I explained well.
But I think May's "its not fair" is that it isn't fair that her mother is sick. But as a big sister its unfair that she has to manage the emotions of a child when she is also a child.
I think it's true on both: she was waiting for her mother, and then she suddently can't come. Acknowledging the unfairness of a disease is rare for a kid that age, byt nevertheless heart wrenching. She just wanted her mum back; family is the kids' whole world.
Yeah the older kid's just slowly learning about adulting and responsibility herself, but feels pushed into being fully responsible and rational all the time by having her younger sister follow her around everywhere.
@@crios8307 well the part where she her mom was just heart breaking man its too much man and you can correct me if im wrong since i suffer from memory lost unfortunately so i may say the wrong stuff.
Big sister is also probably feeling a lot of the same things as Mei but feels like she can't express that in the face of her little sister feeling it.
Whenever I said, "It's not fair" my dads go-to answer was "Yea, well life's not fair. Deal with it."
I actually always interpreted the scene when Mei runs away differently.
Satsuki has always been the strong one that Mei could rely on (even if there was conflict) and because of that Mei has no idea that really Satski feels the same way she does - terrified.
When Mei sees Satsuki break down and cry for the first time she realizes that her sister is in pain too.
I've always seen Mei running away as a response to seeing Satsuki sad, something she hasn't really seen before, and trying to do something for her.
She is running to take her corn to mum and heal her not strictly for herself, but for Satsuki. She obviously totally overestimates herself and what she can do. But overall I've always seen this part not as Mei running away from something, but towards something. Not avoidance, but taking action to help.
Obviously Mei isn't rationalizing this the way I am now, didn't think it through probably not even super consciously taking these steps - she's too young for that and she's acting on impulse. But I still always felt that this was her motivation.
I always saw it as when she saw Satsuki crying, and realized she was sad and hurting too, Mei took it upon herself to get that corn straight to mom so both her and Satsuki can be happy and mom will get well too, it's a win for everyone
I love movies like this where the father isn't a victim of toxic masculinity.
If “toxic masculinity” were a thing, but yes, it’s nice to see a soft, caring father who knows how to relate to and teach his children well.
Man, if Alan's tearing up for one of the most wholesome movies to ever exist, I can't imagine how he reacted/would react to Grave of the Fireflies. Studio Ghibli had no chill for that one. Also, I can't help but wonder what Jonathan's thoughts would be about the protagonist for that film, about his choices as a young teen, his parentified dynamic with his sister, how children process trauma, -really just about any element of that film. That'll definitely get the water works flowing.
They will both be weeping, I know I did. It's been over 10 years since I've seen that film, and it still hurts to remember it.
They and we all will be drowning in our tears❣️
Grave of the Fireflies came out at the same time as Totoro, and they were shown as a double feature. Imagine going from one movie to the other. I just have to hear the music from the movie and I am crying.
I just lost my mother this year, I would not dare to watch Grave of Fireflies for the next three years. 😭😭😭
I watched Grave of the Fireflies once... and I just can't watch it again. It was too heart wrenching.
I'd like to point out that Satsuki's yelling? That wasn't pure rational either. Mei was expressing pain in the only way she as a very young child knew how, but Satsuki's shouting was definitely her breaking under the strain of having to be strong for her sister. Mei wanted to be told everything would be alright, but Satsuki knew that might not be the case. Nobody was there to hold her, and it wasn't fair that she had to be the one to give that strength she didn't actually have in the moment either. It wasn't cruelty, or really even wanting Mei to change her behavior, because it wasn't about Mei. It's just pain and frustration.
I was looking for this comment. Thanks for saying it because I felt that was majorly overlooked. That wasn't an adult "scolding" Mei, it was another child who feels helpless buckling under the pressure of being a pseudo-mother.
I was so looking for this comment as well… Let’s not forget that the big children and adolescents are those who need just as much hugging but often don’t get it because they mostly act angry. But angry is just a hide out for sadness…
This. Satsuki has noticed - same as Mei - that their mum's disease wasn't progressing the right way and being the older child, she was able to understand that some people just don't get better. And while she was starting to dread their mum could actually die, Mei gets grumpy about missing a weekend? That's too much stress to handle for just a girl.
Thanks for mentioning this. I got that from Satsuki too. She was a surrogate parent to Mei there and she didn’t have the tools or experience for that and it would be unfair to expect that of her.
Exactly!!!! Not only was it frustration over having to care for her little sister, but I think Statsuki saw herself in Mei. I interpreted it as Satsuki talking to herself in her head-- she was probably really sad and angry that her mom wouldn't be home too, but was trying to reel it in. Shouting at Mei can be seen as Satsuki shouting at herself for feeling "petty" emotions. And what was also really important is how Mei sees Satsuki crying about it later, because she's able to see how scared her sister is too, even if she scolds her. It's validation for Mei, because she can realize she's not alone in those feelings.
When my ex and I first divorced, I discovered My Neighbor Totoro and introduced my kiddos to him. My children were 2 and 5, much like the girls in the movie. Totoro showed us that even when life is not "normal" we can be ok. And it showed me how I could be a better Mom. This movie was a balm to my spirit and my kids developed a love for all things Studio Ghibli, even now, 10 years later! 🥰
Mei wasn't running away from her sister or her problems. She saw her sister cry and worry that her mom really might die. Mei had this look of determination and put the pieces together: mommy might die + my corn will make her feel better = I'd better take this corn to mommy. And that is what she attempted to do before she got lost. It's actually quite logical, even kid-logical.
It becomes more emotional to watch when you realize this is autobiographical with Miyazaki being Mae and his brother being Satsuki. Their mom did die of TB, but the summer they moved to the country is what formed his deep attachment to nature and spirits. I really can't wait to see what you guys do with Encanto!
Good films but Miyazaki is kind of a jerk
It is spelled Mei and not Mae. You were close though.
haaaaa guess who s crying now XD
This kind of calming, conflict-less, slice of life style of media is a whole genre in Japan! It's called iyashikei, and it translates as "healing".
And the whole world could use more of this attitude in dealing with each other; diplomacy, empathy, and the like might not be especially exciting, but they're nothing to scoff at.
You realize the kids in the movie die, right? It's about acceptance and moving on, which I guess is healing in a way. Not exactly conflict-less, though.
@@jamespryor5967 What!?!What do you mean they died? I haven't seen the movie, but it seems like nobody die.
@@arianaalejandro4005 The children die and the spirits help them see their parents one last time before moving on to the afterlife. It's a kids movie, so it's mostly implied, but pretty clear.
@@jamespryor5967 lol, no it's not. People have tried to push some sinister theories but Miyazaki has denied them. You can even see how their mom gets home and them getting a new sibling in the end credits.
Jon, Alan, thank you for being examples of non-toxic masculinity and dadhood. I appreciate you both.
I love that Alan cries out of joy so easily. My dad and I are the same way and it is one of my favorite and least favorite things that I've inherited. Shows such a sweet side in a person, though!
Because I grew up having all my emotions invalidated by my parents, I always make sure to react bubbly to what my nieces and students tell me...
future parents: when you invalidate your kid's emotions, they feel sad, frustrated and disappointed at you
THIS
I still remember how much my dad and brothers used to say I shouldn't be crying for whatever and that's probably why I still have issues with crying in front of (most) other people, even though I recently realized that crying with caring and supporting people often makes me feel much better.
@@stephaniemoura3214 I studied in a school that anyone who shed a single tear would be mocked for the rest of the day, til this day I think that crying is humiliating. So I do understand how you feel...
I had a happier childhood but had to re-learn expressing and especially receiving emotions. As I am a caretaker at a kindergarden, it is somewhat disheartening if a child looks surprised at you if you take them serious and let them be children.
@@astrisperspecto4130 I happened to me too... one of my students was so shocked that she immediately turned to her friend and said "she said she believes in me!"
8:50 think of it this way: if the kids prefer to disturb you than any other adult in the house, or would mess around you rather than play on their own, it's because they like you. Growing up they'll look back and think of these moments fondly.
Exactly! From time to time I have to remind myself of this.
My husband and I both love ghibli and specially Totoro (our wifi is named Totoros neighbors). We actually watched it with our newborn the night we brought him home from the hospital at 3 days old.
However we haven't really watched it from a parents perspective, or as an example for good relationship between parents and children. Thank you for helping me realize that it's not cute and cuddly Totoro or sweet Mei, but gentle, understanding Tatsuo who makes this movie feel like a warm hug.
Thanks for sharing your story. 😊
This movie is indeed a warm blanket; in that warm blanket, you get to remember what it is like to be a child. The visuals take you to places you've never been to before... Under the full moon, in the branches of a giant tree, children sit with friendly forest spirits. Sublime.
What I find so fantastic about Totoro is that as whimsical as it is, there are very real emotions underpinning it, as well as a certain underlying seriousness. It’s a story about wonder and magical friendly creatures, but it’s also about two girls dealing as best as they can with the fact their mom is chronically ill. And the film is capable of making this balance between fantasy and reality without being heavy handed, or overly sentimental, and come out feeling so light and happy and beautiful.
I've read interpretations that frame TOTORO as a primer for helping children process death. It's significant that the film opens with the move to a house where Mom can recuperate, but closes with Mom still in the hospital.
Also the slight creepy alienness to the fantasy elements, and that it's a comfort but not a magical plot fix, means the whimsy doesn't feel patronizing or emotionally manipulative.
I literally screamed “WHAT?!” when I got the notification and scared my cat. 😂 You really be ticking all my favourite childhood movies.
did the EXACT same thing, i'm so pumpedddd
I was pleasantly surprised as Well.
how's your cat doing now? does it need therapy? 🤭
SAME
YES!!!
As someone with not so great parents Totoro makes me cry cause of the love I never got being shown as something that happens
Alan got me tearing up 😭😭😭 so beautiful. Binge watching your guy's videos and I learn SO much about mental health and movies and I love it!! Thank you guys! Don't stop! 💜🙌🙏✨
You're so welcome! :)
One thing I really like about Totoro, from a "children's story" perspective: none of the fantastical "monsters" are mean, scary, or threatening toward the characters. On the contrary, all of the creatures are friendly, fun, and helpful. The vast majority of stories and films for kids are written by adults to be entertaining, and so they often put the main characters in peril and danger, which can be pretty upsetting if you're an imaginative kid envisioning yourself in the scenario. However, in Totoro, the grinning Catbus is friendly and happy to help them, and the big, hairy "Totoros" are fun and playful. Compare this to Alice in Wonderland, where the Cheshire Cat thinks it's funny when Alice is confused and upset, and "Where the Wild Things Are," where Max is in danger of being eaten by the monsters if they find out he's a human.
And while those books are classics and great in their own right, from a lot of children's stories and media, it's no wonder so many kids gain a fear of the dark or "monsters under the bed." Friendly monsters and cheerful stories are comparatively few and far between.
I really appreciate that My Neighbor Totoro makes this fantastical adventure fun _for the characters themselves_ rather than just the viewer.
100% agreed. I mean the creator COULD have made it scary, just chang the vibe. But the vibe and energy in this movie is plain positive and cozy and natural ❤️ i, to this day, also want a nap on Tototos fluffy tummy 😋
I agree too! Funny enough for me is Monsters Inc. It started with monsters scaring kids but now make kids laugh and have fun; I mean it is for energy purposes but I feel that movie falls somewhere in the middle with scary to friendly monsters.
This is a very nice observation. One of the parenting tactics coming from where I am from, parents always scare children into following their instructions or rules. “Don’t go there because there are ghost or monsters there.” Which was something my father absolutely hated. So he didn’t do that at all. He scared me some other way HAHAH. But yeah, as a child I grew up fearless if the dark and monsters and would watch horror movies til dawn cuz I absolutely loved it.
I agree with you 100%. I was a veeeery imaginative and sensitive child. Movies where parents died or people were unforgivable or one mistake lead to a downward spirale that you could not prevent, left me really anxious and upset. I cried a lot while and after I watched them.
I liked movies in which kindheartedness, forgiveness, acceptance and love were portraied. As long as the message was "We'll be fine no matter what because we are creative and caring enough to go through everything" I was on board and took a lot of confidence and reassurance out of it. Unfortunately those movies (and books) were seldom and I struggled for a long time to read books like "The Never Ending Story" because I couldn't handle even the acknowledgement of the mother's death in the first chapter
I am living in a house with children for the first time and I really feel this sentiment. This past Halloween, the youngest child (2 years old) was able to really participate for the first time. He loves all the different monsters! He loves how "scary" they are, but enjoys that by playing pretend, taking turns pretending to be scared of each monster OR proudly saying "I'm not scared!" By having monsters that are "fun scary" instead of "upsetting scary", even this 2 year old is able to learn how we choose to be scared OR not by "scary" things! I love it!
Hey, just want to point out that the Dad isnt "just playing along" with a childish fantasy...i mean, Shintoism is one-if not the- dominant religous framework in Japan, and its totally reasonable for the Dad to attribute the experience to an interaction with nature spirits. He doesnt have to be devout or superstitous to know about it, and utilize it as a explanation
True, even the ones who don't believe are still really familiar with it.
I was just about to write the exact same comment.
Many Japanese people, even if they aren’t completely into shintoism have some level of superstition. I mean there a still temples and shrines to gods of that religion where many people pray at and I wouldn’t be totally surprised if the dad has some of those superstitious and belief of spirits. Because that’s something Japanese people also largely believe in is spirits as someone who is Japanese and has lived there for years. It’s a great point and I understand how they could miss it since they may not be entirely knowledgeable about Japanese superstitions or religion but it’s a big point on explaining why the dad is maybe as curious and open to the idea of forest spirits.
Kind of like Ireland. You might not believe in Fair Folk, but you’re not tearing up a Mushroom Ring, even to make a highway.
I was coming to say this exact thing too. For example they do not bow to the tree for "play". They bow because it's a yorishiro, a thing capable of housing a kami (the rope tied around it clearly marks it as one), and Totoro is quite obviously a nature spirit, in other words a type of kami.
I just wanted to thank you guys for making this video. My father has never been able to understand the thought process of a child and it made my childhood very difficult. Often he would judge my decisions to the standards of an adult and really reprimand me over it. Well today, my 7 year old nephew didn't listen to my father and almost put himself in danger, but my Dad noticed and prevented the tragedy. He was still really riled up by it and could not understand why my nephew couldn't just follow directions and it was so obvious that he could have gotten hurt. I used the words of Jonathan and said, "Well, Dad, that is thinking of an adult. His thought process is that of a child's." And for the first time in my life, I felt heard by my father in a situation like this. I felt his energy soften. It actually healed me just a little bit to talk to my father about my nephew. It almost made the pent up memories of my dad yelling at me seem a tiny bit less significant. So thank you.
This movie means so much to me. I saw it when I was in Japan. I had just gotten word that one of my friends back home had passed away from cancer, and my friends in Japan sat with me to watch this movie together, and even though it was raw (no dub, no sub), it was a gentle hug in movie form.
I totally get that what Satsuki said to Mei, when she was screaming "That's unfair" is so wrong, but I get her so much.
As a big sister myself it was sometimes very hard to see my little sister being a child and being allowed to have her strong emotional reactions, and cry and scream and make unreasonable demands and getting what she wants, while I had to learn to make space for that and make myself "less of a burden" to my parents. And sometimes that wants to make you tell your little siblings to "grow up" cause that's what you had to do
And while I'm typing all this I realize that this is something I should probably talk to my therapist about, damn...
Went through the same thing... You are valid, and I totally get how you feel. "Making space" for younger siblings is unfair and in a lot of cases harmful for the older sibling, but the worst thing is that you're left feeling bitter over things that happened long ago, without anyone to direct these feelings to! Your little sibling can't really be blamed for being a more difficult kid, especially if they've since grown up and changed for the better! But I just want to let you know i completely understand! We older siblings must support each other somehow!
I'm a little sister, and I sometimes got shut down by my big sister just for voicing my thoughts out loud (as an unfiltered and demanding 6 y/o at the time ofc lol). We're adults now, and a few years ago I was going through some difficulties in my life, and I found myself letting out my emotions to my sister and admitting that despite having a lot of support from friends and family, I still felt depressed and lost. Her final response at the time was somewhere along the lines of "fine, be that way if you're not going to get better," invaliding my feelings and causing me to withdraw my emotions even more. Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised if she was somewhat bitter towards me because my parents let me attend the college I wanted to go to and they didn't let her, among other things that younger siblings tend to have more access to than their older ones.
Flash forward to today. We've learned some things, learned that it's okay to have feelings, realized we both been pretty unreasonable with each other in the past, and over time we've gradually managed to talk about our issues more healthily and openly. It took a lot of forgiveness and healing, but we're closer now than we were as kids, and we have each other's backs.
When y'all say it's "this close to creepy" it's meant that way. Spirits can be both protectors and destroyers. Spirits that live in the border between the natural world and the human world often end up being more like protectors, and we see the big tree having been decorated with the circle of zigzag papers and that means a spirit lives there. Totoro and his group could be devastating, but they are the protectors of this little village instead, so long as they are respected, which the dad encourages the daughters to do by greeting the spirit properly :)
Oh! Haha just commented about the Shintoist "shide" decorations on the tree after Jonathan's comment on some Eastern symbolism in that scene, that they never really expanded on! Great comment!
According to Shinto a spirit leaves in every tree, rock, river... every piece of nature, that one being surrounded by Shide would be especially respected though. Japanese foresters still to this day have a big ceremony before they cut down trees to ask the spirits permission and give them a chance to essentially vacate their homes. All of Studio Ghibli's works have a very strong Shino thread in them.
I saw that too and it reminds me of the ones I saw in Bali too.
Yes, in Japanese folklore many spirits or youkai are ambiguous when it comes to being good or evil.
Yeah princess mononoke represents the destructive side of spirits
One thing I think could be added to the discussion on when Mei and Satsuki fight, is that it's the point where Satsuki's big sister act breaks down. Because she's been effectually mothering Mei for a long time, but at that point she's so disappointed, so scared and afraid that she can't manage to see the world from Mei's point of view. So not only does Mei's reaction make total sense from a little kid-point of view, Satsuki's reaction also makes total sense from the view of an older kid who has been trying to handle everything in an adult fashion for a long time.
This video broke me. I am a caretaker for my mother, who, due to brain damage and dementia, is functionally a child. I try so hard to be a good source of support for her, but it's difficult and frustrating and relentless. I often snap, yell, or just fail in other ways to be the kind, generous, patient caretaker (parent in all but name) who she needs, and who I want to be.
Love these videos so much. Please keep doing what you're doing!
Hang in there. I took care of my grandfather who had dementia. My grandma was his primary caretaker, so what I tried to do was support her in whatever way she needed, most often watching over my grandpa so she could get a break. I sincerely hope you have someone in your life that can do the same for you, because man that is not an easy job. Try not to be too hard on yourself when your emotions run high or because you feel exhausted and it just never ends. As Alan and Jono have said, even when the situation is as good as it can be when it comes to parenting, its still hard. Hard in the sense that its just you’re always “on”. You’re doing the best you can in an exhausting situation.
when i showed this movie to my niece who’s in middle school the entire time she was stressed because it was too happy and she was sure someone in the family was gonna die later saying “look pixar traumatized me ok!?” We need more pure happiness movies like this
Oh yeah, first time I watched this I had the anxiety too.
11:23 "It's just the kids are so much like real kids." Ohhh I'm gonna go on a long kinda nerdy spiel. Hayao Miyazaki is very observant of his environment and he would animate while thinking about how a person would fall, climb, or express themselves, taking time to pay attention to the littlest of things that might not seem like much but those things can show a lot about someone, it gives a sense that the characters are alive. The Studio Ghibli team under his direction puts so much time into the details too, like making sure they move in a way that gives you the sense of who they are. It reminds me how my theater coach told me "Do not put something in that does not have intention nor meaning." as in give life to every little detail to really give the nuance of the character you want to show and the environment they live in, and then the character gives life and meaning to the story because we grew to care just as we slowly start to care for a friend we made. We never know how's the story with that friend will end, but we continue because we care. And so, the kids are so much like real kids because he took his time to try to understand them, to really make something that would resonate with them, and personally I like how I would watch it and reminiscence that childhood wonder and curiosity. Hayao Miyazaki is kind of a grumpy man who at times is questionable, can't deny that and this same man made these movies for children as if to inspire them. Personally, I think all of this combined made Ghibli movies into movies that you didn't watch for the ending, but for the experience. To enjoy even the littlest of moment, to appreciate the beauty in life that we would often might miss, even if it's sad or happy, both of them deserved to be paid attention to.
Thanks to Alan and Jono for reacting to My Neighbor Totoro!! Been watching Cinema Therapy to cry along lol
And Studio Ghibli was my childhood and I love it every time I see someone who likes it too!
He was also quite friendly and often watched how the children of his employees acted. Spirited Away was made because he saw the daughter of one of this animators (I think) and decided he wanted to make a movie for little girls her age. A lot of the mannerisms of the adults in his movies are taken straight from his staff, too.
The first time I watched this movie, I ugly cried for like 15 minutes afterward. It was just so wholesome and pure, and it was so refreshing and uplifting to see a movie where bad things didn’t really happen; it was just two little girls having fun and living a good life surrounded by nurturing people. The fact that they were encouraged to be kids and exercise their imaginations and believe in magic, it just hit so hard because so many kids are forced to face the real world and grow up way too fast. We don’t need violence and hatred in our world, we need more of THIS.
Is eight minutes a new record for how quickly Allen started crying😂
My partner and I have gotten into the habit of saying “Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?” when the other is frustrated or upset. It helps avoid a lot of confrontation when it comes to feeling unsupported or getting unsolicited advice.
This sort of thing is a great habit. One of my oldest friends says "I need the bubble" which means that in the following story she is 100% right and I'm 100% in her corner with no judgement or criticism. Everybody else is a bastard in that story!
But then, once it's told, usually the bubble is popped and we talk about solutions. Usually, not always. Sometimes you need your friends to call you on your BS - but other times you just need them to be ride or die.
Yeah my best friend and I just started making sure to add that to our conversations because I am super solution oriented and it's hard for me to realize it when she just needs to vent, she doesn't need me to find answers or advice for her. So recently I've been unintentionally making her feel worse when she comes to me because I don't know how to help, I don't have the answers regarding emotional matters so I had been pointing her to her therapist whenever she tried to talk to me. I didn't realize for a while that all she needed was for me to listen. So we managed to talk about it, and we're going to do better from now on.
This! Trying to explain this to the people in my life so we can communicate better.
as an adult Kiki’s Delivery hits reaallly hard about finding independence, losing you creative spark and gaining your voice all over again. i adore that move when i’m feeling down! another lowkey gem is Whisper of The Heart which is about the artists journey and i also recommend Only Yesterday for a very self-reflective slice of life piece!
thanks for doing Ghibli movies! i adore them!
I also recommend Up on poppy hill and The cat returns (which is directly connected to Whisper of the heart). True gems all of them!
god yeah Kiki...
The older I get the more Kiki gets to me
@@tamashiranai1091 when she couldn't understand Jiji anymore i felt that
@@tamashiranai1091 Same. Not only that - but I feel like I continually gain a new or different perspective on it every year.
In most films, there are 'beats'.
Move from home, beat.
Find new friends, beat.
Start a new adventure, beat.
In 'Kiki', the film ends between beats!
She is making new friends, but is having trouble relating to her own feelings.
The future of her delivery service in in doubt: she can't fly like she used to.
She is mid-stride at the ending credits!
Just like life, no clear start or end.
I grew up in a village till the age of 5 and the movie was very nostalgic for me. Everything in the movie reminds me of my childhood. Like the school, granny, mei( every kid of my age acted like her) the story of spirits, me and my sister waiting for dad on the cold wet day( the atmosphere they created was so similar to what I've experienced). The movie brought so many memories I could never imagine.
I've watched this movie so many times and only now have I realised that she explains the sizes of Totoro to her sister and the dad shows up. Dad and the kids reflect the sizes and personalities of the Totoro!
I grew up in an emotionally neglectful family, so I always get choked up at those early scenes with the parents because, wow...there _are_ parents like that.
YES! I was amazed when I saw families like this in real life. Wanted to know, HOW DO YOU DO IT? How can I get that? Always afraid to ask, out of fear.
Fun fact: the mother's illness is heavily implied in ancillary material (and Miyazaki's own life story) to be tuberculosis, which would explain why she's been in the hospital for so long and makes Satsuki's fear she might die seem much more realistic.
I always assumed she had TBC and was recovering in sanatorium.
one an aside note: I also read some outlandish theories that the mom is dead, and the trip with the cat bus means the girls die as well, obviously those people never watched the end credits where it show them having a baby brother.
And just don't start me on the reactions to the bathing scene .... :/
@@remko2 I always assumed that was a random baby from their village, but either way I don't buy that the mom or the girls "actually" die. That's just people being needlessly edgy.
The movie takes place in the 1950's, when effective antibiotic treatment for TBC had just recently become a reality. Of course, it existing in one part of the world doesn't mean it would get to Japan in any sort of timely manner, and an extended hospital stay would probably be called for in any case.
The bath scene is honestly one of my favorite parts of the movie. It's an adorable family moment; the fact that they're naked doesn't mean anything remotely sexual or harmful is happening. Honestly, I think we North Americans would be a lot healthier if we got more comfortable with casual nudity.
(Also: those bathtubs are deep; a child Mei's age should absolutely not use one unsupervised.)
@@Truzyxx Apparently Miyazaki insisted that the main characters had to be little girls because the story would have hit too close to home for him if they were boys what with Miyazaki being the second eldest of four sons and his mother's spinal tuberculosis.
I just thought she was pregnant and was staying due to complications. I thought satsukis reaction was valid cause when I was a kid, an abnormally long 3 hour doctor visit for my baby sister put an irrational fear in me that she was going to die. It was so late the receptionist played a new movie on the lobby vcr which I thought was weird since those places never catered to just some kids waiting.
😭😂🙆♀️ I felt like the mom when I was in the hospital recovering from pneumonia (husband and 2 children at home)
I feel that around 14:50 and on, we also need to add that Satsuki isn't just scolding Mei to make her mor rational. She is feeling the anger and anxiety she sees in her sister and projects onto her as well. She thinks "Maybe mom will die". This becomes "Do you want mom to die!?" She is just as hurt as Mei and, in that moment, can't manage her own feelings, so she isn't in a position to do so with her sister's emotions either.
Studio Ghibli was my childhood... I love everything about it, the music, the animation, the weird/creative stories with hidden meanings, I loved them
19:42 what I see in this scene is Mei trying to comfort Satsuki. She sees her cry and and beeing scared about their moms health and decides to take action by bringing their mom the fresh corn to make her better faster (like they talked about just before the phonecall). And in making their mom better she sees the only way to help her older sister!
That's one of wonderful thought..
That's exactly as I perceive this. Mei steps up and into action.
Came to the comments to say the same thing haha
Speaking of Brian Regen: one of his "punchlines" was telling his kids, "Can't you see the paint on the wall is more important than the joy in your hearts?!" I think of that every time I get after my kids for something. Not that I want to let them destroy my house, but it helps me moderate my response and redirect without hurting anyone's feelings.
Have you geard of Montessori? I strongly recommend it and positive discipline for general communication advice. Its sooooo much more healthy than rewards and punishments too.
Hayao Miyazaki uses a lot of actual places as inspiration. A lot of the landscapes in MNT are from Tokorozawa in Saitama. There is even a replica of the house from the movie. Miyazaki himself helped locals to preserve some areas from development and one is a popular place for spotting fireflies in the summer. Totoro's forest is also a real place near the Amemiya shrine in Hitoyoshi, Kumamoto prefecture.
This was my absolute favorite movie growing up. It is also my five children's favorite too. I can put this movie on when the kids are all hyper or over excited, and it relaxes them back into control of themselves. The calm that this movie spews is magical. Its not like any of the other Ghibli movies.
I really think that reacting to Wolf Children would make more an excellent therapist reacts video, it covers so many relevant topics when looking at the relationships between people. There's navigating raising children as a single parent, dealing with the loss of a loved one, the difficulties and rewards of childrearing, preparing your children for life, relationships between siblings, relationships between children and their peers, how children explore their identity. I've been watching your content for sometime and really enjoy whenever you give anime films recognition for the effort they make to show believable human interactions.
Oh my gosh YES Wolf Children is extremely good. Inspired me to (hopefully) become a mother someday. Lots of great scenes about being a single parent, having to keep a secret from your community, how children’s interests and personalities change with life experience, etc.
I second this!! Please react to Wolf Children, it's a really emotional and powerful movie. It includes a lot of family dynamics that can be explored. Yes, it will definitely bring the waterworks, but it's a really good movie.
This would be great.
Wolf children is on my top 10 list ugh. The gardening and house montage reminds me of my childhood. Fixing up a craphouse and gardening
Oh, wolf children, wow! Talk about a story and a movie. WOW!
"It's just an expression of pain." The hardest part for me is keeping straight exactly when I need to validate the feelings my children in empathy and love and when I need to say, "that's enough." For example, every night at bedtime I sing to my children, and my daughter will always ask for one more song when I'm done, if she had her way I would literally sing for two hours after her bedtime, and she's really just procrastinating bedtime. At the same time, I want her to have all the songs and hugs and kisses. And in that particular case I've seen it enough nights that it's really obvious, but other times I have to stop and think to myself, "Does my daughter need more love and attention right now, or in spite of what she wants is it time for me to work? Is my son trying to talk to me during dinner because he's sharing his day and his feelings, or is he just trying to distract me from the fact that he's not eating his broccoli?" Both of those things happen, and the hard part, at least for me, isn't knowing that I need to pay attention to them and their feelings, but knowing when they're gaming the system (because they're totally smart enough to do that) and when they truly need me. And sometimes, even when I'm not tired or distracted, when I'm really trying to do my best, I can't say for sure and I have to guess a little bit, and sometimes I get it wrong.
Jacob, the fact that you're even conscious of this means that you're already a GREAT parent! And that's including maybe getting it wrong sometimes. Because no human is perfect. Which means no Parent is perfect. Because we all make mistakes. But you're Conscious and Present and Continuously Improving. So, I'm REALLY glad that your kids have someone like you as their Dad! Keep up the great work Jacob!
Same. But I'm pretty sure it's ok to not get it right. I have "rules" for bedtime, 2 books and a song. Kids like routines. It actually makes them feel safe, knowing what's happening. Draw a picture of the bedtime "rules." Have your kid decorate it. But in reality, be flexible. I'm a teacher too, and I actively teach my students the word flexible, saying that we have a routine for classwork or our daily schedule, but sometimes life happens and we have to be ok with change. And I would trust your gut. If it looks like they're just messing with you, point to the schedule, give them a kiss and say goodnight.
@@harvestmoon_autumnsky Whoah! I'm really impressed by your teaching around "flexibility"... 😳
I remember that we as kids were REALLY conscious of rules as a structure for life and the concept of "sometimes there are exceptions & that's ok" feels like a really hard one... even sometimes as an adult, tbh!! 🤭 It seems like it'd be hard to achieve that flexibility without triggering the super-sensitive child reflexes around "rules don't count" or "not fair!!"
Kudos to your pedagogical skills, that's a great foundational concept for your classes to grasp!
I deal with stuff in this genre with my students sometimes, and what I often do when I’m not sure is just ask them flat out (but like with a kind of loving teasing energy, cos like I’ve been there as a kid and done stuff). At first I was surprised by how honest they were, both for when they are trying to pull a fast one and when they need more care/support/attention, and I think with the loving teasing energy behind it, that does a combo move of I care about you/this is not a big deal/let’s be real about it tho. Don’t know how this plays out with diff stages of development tho, I work with middle and high schoolers. In general tho I’m pretty transparent with them, like the person mentioned above in their way, cos kids are super observant and do already have a read on you a lot of the time, so I just bring them into the process (but still lead it).
It's really funny because I, personally, was not suuuuper thrilled by Totoro when I saw it the first time, but I really fell in love with the way my daughter reacts to it. She's 4 now, so just about the age Mei is, or the kids in Ponyo are, and she gets so invested in these movies. It's so cure it could melt rock. I love the fact she loves these movies so much, and we can actually talk about the plot and why characters act the way they do. It's helping her understand why she acts the way she does and why the world around her acts the way it does, while having a good time.
And whilst I was actually kinda bored when watching it the first time, for the very reasons discussed in the video, I have now found a new appreciation for this exact aspect of it, because it allows my daughter to fully invest herself in what is essentially a pretty safe setting. So I'm really glad the mother isn't seriously sick (I absolutely expected her to die when I watched it the first time) or that Mei is safe while she gets lost.
Totoro is the perfect personification of this movie. It's nice, and round without any hard edges, it's fluffy and warm, maybe a bit boring and slow, but good and warm and cuddly to its very core and I love it.
Thought of something when one of you pointed out how close to creepy the Catbus is. My wife is an early childhood educator, and last time we watched this she pointed out that Totoro is actually pretty scary. He's wild, he roars, he's mysterious and unknown. But *childhood* is scary-everything is new, you're small, you have almost no real agency. Letting things that inspire wonder and joy also be kind of scary is part of what makes this movie so true to childhood.
I think when dealing with children it's also important to think about their time scale. When you're 5, a year is 1/5 of your entire experience. It would be the equivalent of 6 years for someone who is 30 years old.
So when her mom can't make it, May has been waiting for what feels like months even a whole year to her. Then suddenly she's too sick to come. Even as an adult you might feel a little selfishly betrayed underneath the inevitable feelings of disappointment, but you know that selfishness isn't healthy or fair so you set it aside. For May this is her first time confronting those feelings. On a deep level she knows it's wrong to be mad at their mom, but she's unable to identify and separate that emotion so it gets mixed into what she expresses.
I’m a full grown adult and I cry at this film at the strangest moments. It’s so innocent, pure and wholesome and I think our world just needs more of that.
Especially NOW where everyone is tense, angry, anxious, etc.
I've been alone 23/7 for almost 2 years now and my psychiatrist doesn't get why my anti anxiety meds don't are enough anymore?
Unable to work, huge dental issues, operations, weight loss to a BMI almost adequate for admittance and tube feedibg, guilt, etc.
I couldn't even visit my parents out of fear to infect them (and the first hard lockdown for months) ( densly populated city - 2 mio- vs 9k town)
All 3 of us highest risk group ...
So people wonder why even relatively "healthy" people's mental health declines ?
Well imagine you had 5 mental and 6 physical illnesses before the first lockdown.
We now passed the 4 th hard one.
Some areas of the country are still in the hard lockdown up until 17 th or 20 th ?
Rules change daily but after 10 am tomorrow I won't notice any of it bevor of my OP and my trusty anaestheiologist. Thank medicine for Midazolam or I would have a literall heart attack on the seat. Heart rate 150 even with heavy sedation...
Same to be honest 😭💗 the wholesomeness hits me square in the feels
Yes, I found myself crying during scenes that are so wholesome, joyful, beautiful or calm. I don't know if I am alright, so sensitive, I have no control 😅
I relate to this very hard
@@janedoex1398 hugs to you, the whole covid experience has been incredibly challenging for so many of us. These days, I like to remind myself of the lotus flower-- it emerges from the mud and muck, unique and beautiful. Plant those roots and hold on, it just takes time & perseverance.
I'm diagnosed and treated for anxiety, depression, and ADD. Along with medication, Yoga & meditation really help to calm my mind, as does cognitive behavioral therapy.
Hang in there, friend. 🤗
I’ve been raising my niece for a year since she was 13 and in and off before that for years. She came from a broken and dysfunctional home and affirming and nurturing her has been such a rewarding joy. It makes me so happy every time I see the way I’m teaching her reflect in her behavior and her growth into a young lady.
23:50 the catbus detail is so cute. The destination changes from “Mei” to “Shichikokuyama Hospital”. Makes no sense, just like a child would think how a bus works.
Their mom had tuberculosis. Satsuki has had to go through this before. She feels like she's in charge of Mei, due to her dad always working and trying to make sure everything is great at home. Dad moved them out to the countryside for all of their health and less stress. Mei is too young to comprehend everything as a whole. All she knows, is that she's lonely and wants her mom and a friend.
no shame in watching in dubbed too, sometimes folks can't quite fully get the emotion when they don't understand the language, hard to explain. Me personally I like to listen while I work so I need dubs more often than subs (thankfully i've been fortunate with good dubs)
I find I can get more emotion from the original language as most dubs just sound silly to me. There are a few good ones but sometimes it feels so exaggerated haha. It is nice to listen to when working tho
I'm a slow reader so if I watch subs I'll be pausing it every 2 seconds and I have trouble understanding what is going on
@@annachia5278 like I said, I must have been lucky to find good dubs XD
I have a hard time concentrating to watch something in English (my native language) let alone watch a whole anime reading the whole time. I watch the dub because practically I can't watch the sub. Frankly I'm tried of people gatekeeping anime by saying you can't watch anime if you don't watch the sub.
They put alot of thought in the voice actors for dubbing of all the Studio Ghibli characters. The children's characterzations are perfect for English speaking children. My son has grown up with all of them: Ponyo, Princess Mononoke & Little bamboo, ect.
"He's a protective forest..."
"...protective forest spirit who's also a fluffy bear and I want one."
🐻
So cute. 🥰
"He was furry, with a great big mouth."
That's cute too. 🥰
Satsuki's scolding of Mei is also an expression of pain, I think. She's been telling herself those exact same things, to try and deal with her own feelings of fear and disappointment, to be "grown up" about it. And it can be hard as the oldest sibling to feel like you have to be "grown up" about these things while your youngr siblings get to feel their feelings (even though that's not fair)
The scene where they thank the big tree is clearly showing Shinto sensibilities, and the decorated rope wrapping it is a thing in real life that signals that a natural element is to be protected because it's sacred/inhabited by important spirits.
I was gonna comment on that, in glad someone already did.
One of my favourite movies, it hits even harder if you have been separated from your parent due to a illness they were going through when you were growing up.
Ooh yeah. My mum died when I was 12. She spent weeks in the hospital. That "will she get better/will she be herself/will she ever come home?" was one of the hardest bits.
Jep i cried through the movie. My dad Was in hospital for most of my puberty and all the totoro scenes remembered me of the times where i Wandered around, pretending to be in other worlds, just not mine
Yes. My mum spent a lot of time in the hospital when i grew up and I also have a little sister, so I tried my best to support her through the hard times. I used to make a "pillow mum" out of one of my mums t-shirts and a pillow for her and read the same children storie every night I could.
Our age- gap isn't that big, but I really hope she felt like I was a good big sister that she could lean on.
Agreed. It was the reverse for me - I was the one alone in the hospital - but it was just as painful to watch my parents struggle to process their emotions as I suffered and struggled. Chronic/terminal illness can be like a wrecking ball to families and that's why MNT is so satisfying and comforting.
I’m so thankful that I found y’all by looking up my favorite childhood movie to watch with my kids, I’m a mom now and their are some hard days and I needed this reminder ❤I’ll definitely be back!
Thanks for stopping by! :)
With my child, it‘s been really humbling when I‘ve corrected her behaviour of screaming and she tells me that she needs to scream for a bit. It makes me proud because I taught her that but it also reminds me that the behaviour is just a symptom, not the cause. And she did this when she was two years old! She‘s not two and a half. 😁
Honestly I relate to Mei a lot when she's like "IT'S NOT FAIR". Due to the pandemic I've had to cancel a bunch of things and like...I do that because it's the responsible thing to do, but I'm still upset about it! That's just what you feel when you have to choose between two options that both suck.
I dunno why I cry at your comment , Covid fatigue sucks. Off to find cat videos to cheer up.
@@tareginda it does suck, and I think it's healthy to admit how much it sucks. Cat videos are also always healthy.
I have tried to explain this to people who complain about staying put in Covid. Yes, I have mostly canceled a lot of plans, but I didn't do that because I wanted to. It has been the safe thing to do. But it's not been easy and even if I seem like I'm getting through it, that doesn't mean I haven't had some tough days
One of the best part of movies like this and Kiki’s delivery service is the care the characters parents show to them. It’s beautiful and something I carry with me today in my every day as a parent. Empathy, love, compassion for our children is just as important as us showing it to other adults. Kids deserve respect and affirmation of their own feelings like we would want for ourselves.
Yeah. These kind of movies or shows are a time of peace, warmth and heart for me. As if everything is good. And they taught me which kind of adult I want to be: Empathic, kind, patient and understanding.
The adults if the town in Castle in the Sky are like that too. These movies definitely helped me to be a better parent.
I honestly think one of the luckiest parts of my childhood was my own Dad's love of Ghibli. He's an incredibly warm and comforting parent, and I think this had a little bit to do with that.
This is the kind of thing that Fred Rogers did in his show _Mr. Rogers Neighborhood._ So much of what he did was to show the things kids feel, often with his puppets, and affirm their feelings as well as those of people who must be the adults.
Mr. Rogers wrote the song, "What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel?" In it encourages children to own their feelings and do something with them. They can express them but also harness them to deal with their stress.
I am autistic, I struggle a lot with expressing my emotions, I often don't even understand what I'm feeling myself and the whole 'past the behavior to the emotions' makes so much sense to me, yes I'm crying but I'm not sad, I'm overwhelmed. telling me to stop crying won't help, turning off the tv and the lights so I'm not overstimulated anymore will.
A lot of people don't understand that, but it's very hard for me to explain because I really understand what I'm going through most of the time. this explained so much to me, thank you.
I know how you feel...
I am bipolar and I empathize with this as well.
I'm not autistic, but I get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily, which can cause me to become angry or cry.
I don't know if it would work for you, but in my case I have had to practice identifying my feelings step-by-step in the moment, like "Crying. Why crying? Because I'm overwhelmed. Why overwhelmed? Because it's too much. What is too much? All of these noises."
And then I can make an exit plan and more succintly let other people know what's happening. Like, "It's loud here, so I'm upset."
My Neighbor Totoro is a great example of how children of a certain age, sometimes, don’t know how to articulate their feelings. As we grow older, we’re learning how to process and understand them, but it’s not an over-and-done thing. We’re always feeling something.
Dearest gentlemen at Cinema Therapy, I'd just like to say the hugest thank you from the bottom of my heart for this content. Thank you for the immense courage you show in promoting gentle parenting and kindness. Thank you for being brave enough to show emotion, for supporting wholesome content, and just absolutely making my day. You are both absolute stars.
when mei cries (15:17) it just breaks my heart 🥺😭
The kids' voice acting in this is so good, and so real. When the kids cry I find myself tearing up and wanting to hug them.
And Tim Daly gives a great performance as the dad. Literally the guy who played Superman... Imagine this being Clark's life if he settled.
me too i felt myself tearing up
It's so good because they were little kids when they did it!
@@osmanyousif7849 Go watch Superman and Lois, that's basically the premise, moving to the country with Lois and his two boys.
I lost my grandfather this week, and seeing Mae's reactions in this film really hit me. I feel the way she does, and it's true that we all have the same emotions no matter our age. All we can do is learn new coping mechanisms.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/AGNEZ 💜 MAKE ME YOUR S*X SLAVE
TH-cam: This is fine
Someone: Says "help"
TH-cam: BE GONE
History : deleted
Phone : yeeted
Body :heated
Holy water : needed
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾
#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤
I am very sorry - maybe you can remember something awesome you and your grandfather did together and imagine a hug from me? Being sad about this is okay. Maybe it helps to remember something awesome you shared?
sending you love!! I lost a loved one three years ago, and it's not easy, but I think it's important to remember that your grandfather's love for you is never gone :)
I'm sorry you're going through this. sending you lots of love. take care of yourself, let your loved ones support you. grief doesnt have to be all horrible, grief is full of so much love and light. i know you most likely dont need advice, anything i could say you probably have already heard before so i just want you to know that you are so lucky to have had a wonderful grandfather.
Everything people above me said except for the bot, I second that,
but also, the name's spelled "Mei"
this is one of the first movies i ever saw where the children were written so realistically and i was NOT ready for it. crying all over the place and not understanding quite why. I was SO WORRID about Mei towards the end. Also, like. Man. I lost my mom to illness as an almost adult, watching CHILDREN go through that fear was just. Oh man. I wanted to reach in and hug them myself. But they really made it ok and im glad. The movie is just delightful.
The way Totoro yawns, roars, or anything that goes with opening his mouth so huge. I would think that would scare children. I know with little kids, all you have to do is make a face, and that will make them cry.