I always felt for Satsuki, watching Totoro. She has all the same emotions and anxieties as Mei, but feels like she has to keep the bottled up and keep control for Mei's sake. When she finally lets it all go in the aftermath of Mei's tantrum, you realize what a silent burden this has been for her.
@@oracleofthemundane9593 Me too, buddy. Of course, my version of it was still a silly, jokey, emotional child, but at the same time I was kinda expected to always be positive and understanding and mature in an emotional sense. Didn't exactly... get to release much sadness, stress or anger, and yay now I don't even know what makes me angry, before it hits me out of the bushes! Yay for... conflict avoidance..?
Thank you for saying this. As the older sister who always tries to look after my brother, with a severely depressed mum who's been hospitalized before, I feel this very strongly. Satsuki's struggle is very relatable.
They're not wrong, because a lot of his writing is Miyazaki coping with childhood trauma. He grew up in a country leveled by bombs, disease, and post-war trauma.
When I was child, I really felt sympathy for their feelings. Goonies, Stand by Me, and Home Alone, I enjoyed those movies, but I didn't feel sympathy. Because they were funny and cool, I admired. For sure they are made by adults.
Please PLEASE do something with Howl's Moving Castle. It's my all time favorite Studio Ghibli movie and it has such an amazing message about self acceptance.
I feel like this film is basically a 'slice of life' film, which is sadly rare in Western animation or kids' movies. People too often assume that kids only enjoy noisy, high-action drama but it's not true. Totoro is very immersive and relatable to all ages because it feels like real, heartfelt childhood moments, even the gentle fantasy aspects.
I first watched this movie when I was 5, and it was rented so often that my uncle bought me the VHS (I still have it to this day). So yeah, kids like those types of movie as well XD
This is why I love "slice of life" anime in general. Some of them are on a more dramatic scale/side and deal with real life problems in a very realistic perspective, but a lot of them are just SO squishy and wonderful (even with a few conflicts thrown in here and there). They are shows I watch when I need an emotional break or when I want to rewatch something that doesn't have that strong conflict.
I loved this movie growing up! Between Miyazaki films and Pixar I've come to realize my favorite sort of storytelling can be best described as "slice of life, but one fantastic element". Like moving into a new town and meeting the neighbor, but he's a forest spirit. Trying to reconnect with an estranged family member, but while in the land of the dead. Starting a delivery business in a new town, but the method is flying on a broom. Fulfilling a passed loved one's life goal for closure, but it's done with a house attached to balloons. And there's so many beautiful, quiet moments in all these movies that made the immersion into the story so, well, immersive! My Neighbor Totoro was the first movie to introduce me to that idea, and it stuck with me since.
I love how they don't attribute everything to "Japanese being Japanese". While it is good to acknowledging cultural differences, it's also beneficial to acknowledge what people do on fundamentally human level -- excellent parenting, children being caught up in their feelings, etc..
SO true. There's a whole subreddit ( r/AsianParentStories ) where asian kids from all over just talk and vent and support each other dealing with the treatment from their asian parents. I could go into detail about it, but honestly, reading through those posts makes clear there are a lot of people using "It's our culture" to excuse some pretty serious abuse. There is a LOT of overlap with r/raisedbynarcissists, too.
@@DeathBringerBecky Man its so sad how many people joke about asian or mexican, etc parents too. Like people laugh but isn't it just abuse?? Idk if its how they cope I understand but I think it's too normalized :(
Sort of, but unfortunately it's apparently *not* just a "joke" or a "stereotype" or something. I wish it was. There's apparently a particular type of...Asian child abuse, I suppose you could call it. I've heard of this from a few different Asian people. It's just kind of...sad. ☹️ I guess different cultures all kind of tend to have their own different good and bad responses to children. 🙄
@@ae831 I AGREE! It IS a form of coping with systematic abuse. "You raise strong and harty children, if the learn to deal with hardship early." Yeah, but I'm NOT HERCULES, mom ! I'd love to hear "I love you," just once before we die 🥲😢😿😂💧 So many emotions I HAD to use emojis v.v But yes, we are all human, I'd like for the acknowledgement to have been there. I know you do it for me, but, even just once, show me you did. Damn, amazing how easy it is to get caught up in life, to where small things like that can be lost in translation. Rant over. Thank you VERY much for sharing what is, actually,pretty accurate. Maybe by meeting others in the same position, we can get catharsis, and, eventually, healing.
17:56 Satsuki is also venting her own frustrations at Mei, she's had to look out for her sister to a far more emotional extent, including making food for her whole family, constantly babysitting Mei (while only being 10 years old) & doing her best to break bad news to her sister in a calm way but when Mei reacts like any 4 year old would, it's all just too much.
Yess...I wanted them to touch up on this. How satsuki is kind of like second parent to mei. She reminds me of my elder sister and brother who had to look out for me and my younger sister.
In Japan in the middle of the Showa period, it was normal for children to do housework. So Satsuki doesn't have any stress or complaints about that. This is one of the differences between Asia and Western countries, and you need to recognize that Totoro is a movie that reflects Japanese culture. It was a Japanese who made this movie. She yelled at Mei because she was also worried that her mother wouldn't come back. She is mature for her age, but her heart is still a small child who misses her mother.
@@user3040lili It was also normal in Austria a couple of generations ago. Espically in the county side. Only rich people could afford a nanny. Even me and my brother did a lot of housework when we were little (no cooking alone we only helped our mother) and I looked after our little brother at least in the afternoon from time to time when I was 10. And between middle school and high school me and my brother (who is 2 years younger) stayed at home in the evening/afternoon to watch our older sister. who is in the spectrum. (I was born in the 80s).
The dad in this film actually reminds me a lot of my grandfather. We were outdoorsy and imaginative kids, but he tried, as old as he was to be with us as we played. I actually remember him telling us how all the animals and plants had spirits and we had to show them kindness and respect. Maybe this was his way of getting the kids to not wreck the garden, but his approach sounded so magical and made so much sense to a kid. He was a very kind and gentle man.
My grandpa has always been a very kind and nice man, I still remember all the times we went with him and our step-grandma to their summer cottage and went fishing together, gathered random plants and sticks and stones in the forest, made paper airplanes, threw ball... So much fun! He made even washing potatoes to prepare them for lunch fun, somehow! :D
@Joshua Hancock, are you sure we didn't have the same grandpa? My mom's dad was a farmer right up until his final stroke, even when he was living in the city and unable to really get around outdoors anymore. A "very kind and gentle man" is an excellent description of him.
One scene that stands out to me is the moment when the youngest girl leaves flowers along her fathers desk while he’s working - “You be the flower shop, Daddy.” I was really touched because I realised that this had to be based on life, someone lived a moment like that. The authenticity of everyday life in these films is really striking.
Watching this as a parent, there are so many funny moments with especially May. "Welp, I'm gonna go run some errands!" is something I've heard from my own kid when she was little and pretending to do grown up stuff.
Watching this as a parent, there are so many funny moments with especially May. "Welp, I'm gonna go run some errands!" is something I've heard from my own kid when she was little and pretending to do grown up stuff.
I forget, but I learned about how this is somewhat unique to Ghibli--I think Miyazaki was somewhat insistent on including little... nothing moments? in his films. Like you'll see it in Spirited Away too, where Chihiro is just staring out at the field, thinking, or especially for any eating moment in the films. It creates a pause to reflect and feel human and relate. It's so simple and beautiful.
@@RhizanthellaSlateri Miyazaki insisted in telling stories taking inspiration from real life. I think is one of the many things he criticized about current anime/manga culture as well.
@@RhizanthellaSlateri Hey, it"s called "Ma" and it's those moments where you just reflect. It really is a relief from all those fast-paced movies nowadays.
Hayo Miyazaki’s (the cofounder of Studio Ghibli and co-writer of Tonari no Toronto) mother suffered from tuberculosis when he was 7 years old and she got hospitalized for a few years before being able to receive home care. His family had to nove to the countryside because of that (also because of WW2), so this is a very personal story for Miyazaki. He used his own child memories to write, draw and paint the characters, scenarios and backgrounds; and of course, his child feelings and fears about his own mother to create Satsuki and Mei with very accurate emotions.
This makes the final scene where they see the mom okay and leave the corn all the more difficult. I feel like it's illustrating the last moment of hope they will experience around this scary situation.
He also said that he first wanted to make the siblings boys but changed it because it would have been to painful to see his own childhood on the screen.
watched this movie with my boyfriend a while back, and I remember him just being amazed by how this dad treats his daughters and him saying "that is the kind of dad I want to be". Just such a wonderful wholesome movie
I now know what to watch when I am learning about a new date. Lol. Observing how one reacts to positive parenting. Although, that seems kind of manipulative, so I suppose I shouldn't. That was a good idea though.
I would love to see an episode on Kiki's delivery service and burn out. It's one of my favorite ghibli movies and has the growth that Kiki goes through is so important
The scene where Mei has a tantrum because Mom isn't coming home is a revelatory one. Throughout the movie the focus has been on Mei, cute little rambunctious Mei, with her worrywart older sister trying hard to shepherd her. In this scene, we see all the weight Satsuki carries inside her. Mom might never come home, and Satsuki is very aware of how ill she is. She tries to shield her little sister from that while also shielding her father by being as good and responsible as she can be. This one little scene is when that weight becomes unbearable, just for a moment.
Me and my sister have a similar age gap (7 years apart) and after conceiving my sister, and having her 2 months premie, my mother's health went extremely downhill. Growing up aware of all of it was deeply concerning for kid me, esp. Knowing we were considerably poor, not having a car until I was in 7th grade. Totoro is a film i wish my family had when we were growing up. (For my sis, she did, but i wish i had it sooner) i think it would have made life a little easier for all of us
Satsuki is very much acting like a child would. She’s not perfect. She’s also just as stressed as Mei, maybe even more because she actually knows how serious things are, and Mei doesn’t understand yet. She’s scared and stressed and trying to protect everyone, and faced with her sister’s stress she doesn’t know what to do with all of it, so she lashes out. We don’t see this kind of *realistic* sibling fighting that often.
That's exactly what I took from this scene. You can really see that Satsuki is also upset that mum isn't coming home. She struggles with these emotions and the added aggravation of having a crying toddler makes her express it al as anger.
"Do you want her to die?" I almost felt the same frustrating anger and unfairness of the universe as Satsuki did in that moment. I just know it's this hot white anger in your head that blinds you and your logic, bursting out as sharp weaponized words, because you have no avenue, no target for that feeling. You want to hurt others to make them feel as hurt as you do, you want them to realize and feel the same, to share the burden, but in the worst way possible.
Alan, you are spot on when talking about the magical moments a dad can provide for his kids that will stick with them! When I was seven my Dad super supported my belief in Elves & Leprechauns and we built a little wooden house for them with a detachable roof. I'm 29 now and lost the roof somewhere during the years, but I still have the house which is now used as a cat bed. I feel really loved and proud of my dad when I look at it or when people ask about it.
Reminds me of what a friend said to her ex, when she encouraged him to do special things with the kids when he had them, his excuse is that they are too young and will forget it anyway... but she said they will still remember being HAPPY with their dad, and that will stick.
I always thought though that as the movie is meant for children AND adults, it's about being present with each other in general, and with the world around us - the trees, the flowers, nature, us experiencing life together and alone and telling stories about it, and talking about the stuff we don't understand because our perceptions as humans are limited to that - being human. And that's what makes every movie by Hayao Miyazaki so beautiful to us ❤
"Slice of life" is a Japanese genre featuring this soft beauty that makes us ask "how is it not boring?" The entire series might be as simple as characters camping, or learning to fish, or making pottery. I really love it! (If this genre also exists in American media, please excuse me, I am unfamiliar with any examples.) Edit: More specifically the iyashikei (healing) slice of life Japanese genre of anime and manga, but genres are hard to define and agree on. Every story is unique, so it might be difficult to find a story that truly recreates the experience in Totoro.
Slice of life can be found in America, but not often, especially when it comes to movies. Unless it's an independent film, it's not so much a thing in cinema here. There's also some shows that start off as slice of life and take a hard turn in the next season to adventure/gritty (I think that's because it makes it easier for the show to get green-lit if it's for kids). It's hard for me to think of examples myself.
@@InvdrDana I've seen it more in independent stuff, or a bit in documentaries, although the only example I remember watching as a kid that was remotely close, was This Is Daniel Cook, which followed a boy named Daniel on adventures he would go on. The episodes were named kind of as a subtitle, like, "This Is Daniel Cook At the Market" is one episode. It would be anything from crafts, to sports, to other things kids might do. Very short episodes, but it was interesting for the early elementary demographic, and had a sequel featuring a different lead character, but I had grown out of it at that point. I feel like Popular Mechanics for Kids and Mighty Machines were somewhat similar shows I watched as a kid, as they basically showed how different machines and devices worked, and followed the people who worked with them. But those are generally more seen as educational documentaries.
8:50 think of it this way: if the kids prefer to disturb you than any other adult in the house, or would mess around you rather than play on their own, it's because they like you. Growing up they'll look back and think of these moments fondly.
What I find so fantastic about Totoro is that as whimsical as it is, there are very real emotions underpinning it, as well as a certain underlying seriousness. It’s a story about wonder and magical friendly creatures, but it’s also about two girls dealing as best as they can with the fact their mom is chronically ill. And the film is capable of making this balance between fantasy and reality without being heavy handed, or overly sentimental, and come out feeling so light and happy and beautiful.
I've read interpretations that frame TOTORO as a primer for helping children process death. It's significant that the film opens with the move to a house where Mom can recuperate, but closes with Mom still in the hospital.
Also the slight creepy alienness to the fantasy elements, and that it's a comfort but not a magical plot fix, means the whimsy doesn't feel patronizing or emotionally manipulative.
I love how the adults just…BELIEVE the children. They acknowledge that the spirits are real, and that only young children can see them. It’s so wholesome and affirming and sincere.❤
It becomes more emotional to watch when you realize this is autobiographical with Miyazaki being Mae and his brother being Satsuki. Their mom did die of TB, but the summer they moved to the country is what formed his deep attachment to nature and spirits. I really can't wait to see what you guys do with Encanto!
Because I grew up having all my emotions invalidated by my parents, I always make sure to react bubbly to what my nieces and students tell me... future parents: when you invalidate your kid's emotions, they feel sad, frustrated and disappointed at you
I still remember how much my dad and brothers used to say I shouldn't be crying for whatever and that's probably why I still have issues with crying in front of (most) other people, even though I recently realized that crying with caring and supporting people often makes me feel much better.
@@stephaniemoura3214 I studied in a school that anyone who shed a single tear would be mocked for the rest of the day, til this day I think that crying is humiliating. So I do understand how you feel...
I had a happier childhood but had to re-learn expressing and especially receiving emotions. As I am a caretaker at a kindergarden, it is somewhat disheartening if a child looks surprised at you if you take them serious and let them be children.
@@astrisperspecto4130 I happened to me too... one of my students was so shocked that she immediately turned to her friend and said "she said she believes in me!"
In defence of Satsuki - I don't think in that scene she's trying to 'correct' Mei per se, because that's not her attitude throughout the movie. She's generally very kind and understanding. But she's also just a child, who is also scared about her mother. And at that moment, she doesn't have anyone to turn to, as the father is at work. But she's the 'big sister', and yet again she's got Mei wanting something from her, but at that point, she can barely handle her own fears, let alone deal with Mei's too. It's too much to expect a child to continuously play the role of mother to her younger sibling.
This point is made in the 1964 film, Mary Poppins. Bert reveals to the children what their father, Mr. Banks, must be going through and that he has no one to turn to for emotional support. It was then that I realized that the main character of the movie was not Poppins or the kids, it was Mr. Banks.
And ironically, that's often the wrong thing. Acting fully stoic and hiding emotions when you're suffering the same things as someone else often just makes you look cold and uncaring, not strong and reliable. Having a calm shoulder to cry on can be useful, but when it's your sister who should also be missing mom in the hospital, crying together will probably be better than trying to hide all tears
when i showed this movie to my niece who’s in middle school the entire time she was stressed because it was too happy and she was sure someone in the family was gonna die later saying “look pixar traumatized me ok!?” We need more pure happiness movies like this
Something i realize about being Asian and growing up in Asia is that we have a very casual relationship with the supernatural. In a way like ghosts, haunted places and spirits are just part of our daily lives. Whether you believe in it or not. I remember my lecturer in uni even used his home being haunted as an excuse for lack of sleep and being late from class - there are many stories like these. It's funny, it's charming and it's just culture. i lav it.
So it is in Latin America. I grew up with ghosts and the dead, ancestors, African nature entities/gods (brought to Brazil by people who were enslaved), catholic saints (my family is italian) , indigenous forest spirits. I live in the Netherlands, and I am so sorry that my son is missing that. It is such an enriching experience to your soul to feel this spiritual connection with nature, family and the unknown!
I grew up in an emotionally neglectful family, so I always get choked up at those early scenes with the parents because, wow...there _are_ parents like that.
I lost my mother in November 2021, and I can relate so much to the scene where Mei is just screaming, "IT'S NOT FAIR!". I just wanted her to be able to come home one more time, so we could make cookies and watch an anime and just be close together one more time, but she never got to leave the hospital. I still have a raging child inside me that wants to scream about how unfair it all is.
I can relate I lost my mom in January 2021 and she never got to leave the hospital. It does still feel unfair that I couldn't have one more moment with her at home.
I'd like to point out that Satsuki's yelling? That wasn't pure rational either. Mei was expressing pain in the only way she as a very young child knew how, but Satsuki's shouting was definitely her breaking under the strain of having to be strong for her sister. Mei wanted to be told everything would be alright, but Satsuki knew that might not be the case. Nobody was there to hold her, and it wasn't fair that she had to be the one to give that strength she didn't actually have in the moment either. It wasn't cruelty, or really even wanting Mei to change her behavior, because it wasn't about Mei. It's just pain and frustration.
I was looking for this comment. Thanks for saying it because I felt that was majorly overlooked. That wasn't an adult "scolding" Mei, it was another child who feels helpless buckling under the pressure of being a pseudo-mother.
I was so looking for this comment as well… Let’s not forget that the big children and adolescents are those who need just as much hugging but often don’t get it because they mostly act angry. But angry is just a hide out for sadness…
This. Satsuki has noticed - same as Mei - that their mum's disease wasn't progressing the right way and being the older child, she was able to understand that some people just don't get better. And while she was starting to dread their mum could actually die, Mei gets grumpy about missing a weekend? That's too much stress to handle for just a girl.
Thanks for mentioning this. I got that from Satsuki too. She was a surrogate parent to Mei there and she didn’t have the tools or experience for that and it would be unfair to expect that of her.
Exactly!!!! Not only was it frustration over having to care for her little sister, but I think Statsuki saw herself in Mei. I interpreted it as Satsuki talking to herself in her head-- she was probably really sad and angry that her mom wouldn't be home too, but was trying to reel it in. Shouting at Mei can be seen as Satsuki shouting at herself for feeling "petty" emotions. And what was also really important is how Mei sees Satsuki crying about it later, because she's able to see how scared her sister is too, even if she scolds her. It's validation for Mei, because she can realize she's not alone in those feelings.
My partner and I have gotten into the habit of saying “Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?” when the other is frustrated or upset. It helps avoid a lot of confrontation when it comes to feeling unsupported or getting unsolicited advice.
This sort of thing is a great habit. One of my oldest friends says "I need the bubble" which means that in the following story she is 100% right and I'm 100% in her corner with no judgement or criticism. Everybody else is a bastard in that story! But then, once it's told, usually the bubble is popped and we talk about solutions. Usually, not always. Sometimes you need your friends to call you on your BS - but other times you just need them to be ride or die.
Yeah my best friend and I just started making sure to add that to our conversations because I am super solution oriented and it's hard for me to realize it when she just needs to vent, she doesn't need me to find answers or advice for her. So recently I've been unintentionally making her feel worse when she comes to me because I don't know how to help, I don't have the answers regarding emotional matters so I had been pointing her to her therapist whenever she tried to talk to me. I didn't realize for a while that all she needed was for me to listen. So we managed to talk about it, and we're going to do better from now on.
Man, if Alan's tearing up for one of the most wholesome movies to ever exist, I can't imagine how he reacted/would react to Grave of the Fireflies. Studio Ghibli had no chill for that one. Also, I can't help but wonder what Jonathan's thoughts would be about the protagonist for that film, about his choices as a young teen, his parentified dynamic with his sister, how children process trauma, -really just about any element of that film. That'll definitely get the water works flowing.
Grave of the Fireflies came out at the same time as Totoro, and they were shown as a double feature. Imagine going from one movie to the other. I just have to hear the music from the movie and I am crying.
I totally get that what Satsuki said to Mei, when she was screaming "That's unfair" is so wrong, but I get her so much. As a big sister myself it was sometimes very hard to see my little sister being a child and being allowed to have her strong emotional reactions, and cry and scream and make unreasonable demands and getting what she wants, while I had to learn to make space for that and make myself "less of a burden" to my parents. And sometimes that wants to make you tell your little siblings to "grow up" cause that's what you had to do And while I'm typing all this I realize that this is something I should probably talk to my therapist about, damn...
Went through the same thing... You are valid, and I totally get how you feel. "Making space" for younger siblings is unfair and in a lot of cases harmful for the older sibling, but the worst thing is that you're left feeling bitter over things that happened long ago, without anyone to direct these feelings to! Your little sibling can't really be blamed for being a more difficult kid, especially if they've since grown up and changed for the better! But I just want to let you know i completely understand! We older siblings must support each other somehow!
I'm a little sister, and I sometimes got shut down by my big sister just for voicing my thoughts out loud (as an unfiltered and demanding 6 y/o at the time ofc lol). We're adults now, and a few years ago I was going through some difficulties in my life, and I found myself letting out my emotions to my sister and admitting that despite having a lot of support from friends and family, I still felt depressed and lost. Her final response at the time was somewhere along the lines of "fine, be that way if you're not going to get better," invaliding my feelings and causing me to withdraw my emotions even more. Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised if she was somewhat bitter towards me because my parents let me attend the college I wanted to go to and they didn't let her, among other things that younger siblings tend to have more access to than their older ones. Flash forward to today. We've learned some things, learned that it's okay to have feelings, realized we both been pretty unreasonable with each other in the past, and over time we've gradually managed to talk about our issues more healthily and openly. It took a lot of forgiveness and healing, but we're closer now than we were as kids, and we have each other's backs.
This movie was so important to me as a child. I was almost EXACTLY in the same situation as this family. Older sister, mom chronically ill, dad working long hours. I felt seen. I felt hope. I love this movie with all my heart.
I have watched this movie only recently for the first time as a 30+ yo woman. It made me cry, because I had been 9, and my sister had been 5 when my mom got cancer and eventually, she had to go to a hospital to never come back. Except my dad was not like this at all... The dad in the movie almost seems like as much of a fantasy as Totoro to me...! Beautiful story, wonderful people!
One thing I really like about Totoro, from a "children's story" perspective: none of the fantastical "monsters" are mean, scary, or threatening toward the characters. On the contrary, all of the creatures are friendly, fun, and helpful. The vast majority of stories and films for kids are written by adults to be entertaining, and so they often put the main characters in peril and danger, which can be pretty upsetting if you're an imaginative kid envisioning yourself in the scenario. However, in Totoro, the grinning Catbus is friendly and happy to help them, and the big, hairy "Totoros" are fun and playful. Compare this to Alice in Wonderland, where the Cheshire Cat thinks it's funny when Alice is confused and upset, and "Where the Wild Things Are," where Max is in danger of being eaten by the monsters if they find out he's a human. And while those books are classics and great in their own right, from a lot of children's stories and media, it's no wonder so many kids gain a fear of the dark or "monsters under the bed." Friendly monsters and cheerful stories are comparatively few and far between. I really appreciate that My Neighbor Totoro makes this fantastical adventure fun _for the characters themselves_ rather than just the viewer.
100% agreed. I mean the creator COULD have made it scary, just chang the vibe. But the vibe and energy in this movie is plain positive and cozy and natural ❤️ i, to this day, also want a nap on Tototos fluffy tummy 😋
I agree too! Funny enough for me is Monsters Inc. It started with monsters scaring kids but now make kids laugh and have fun; I mean it is for energy purposes but I feel that movie falls somewhere in the middle with scary to friendly monsters.
This is a very nice observation. One of the parenting tactics coming from where I am from, parents always scare children into following their instructions or rules. “Don’t go there because there are ghost or monsters there.” Which was something my father absolutely hated. So he didn’t do that at all. He scared me some other way HAHAH. But yeah, as a child I grew up fearless if the dark and monsters and would watch horror movies til dawn cuz I absolutely loved it.
I agree with you 100%. I was a veeeery imaginative and sensitive child. Movies where parents died or people were unforgivable or one mistake lead to a downward spirale that you could not prevent, left me really anxious and upset. I cried a lot while and after I watched them. I liked movies in which kindheartedness, forgiveness, acceptance and love were portraied. As long as the message was "We'll be fine no matter what because we are creative and caring enough to go through everything" I was on board and took a lot of confidence and reassurance out of it. Unfortunately those movies (and books) were seldom and I struggled for a long time to read books like "The Never Ending Story" because I couldn't handle even the acknowledgement of the mother's death in the first chapter
I am living in a house with children for the first time and I really feel this sentiment. This past Halloween, the youngest child (2 years old) was able to really participate for the first time. He loves all the different monsters! He loves how "scary" they are, but enjoys that by playing pretend, taking turns pretending to be scared of each monster OR proudly saying "I'm not scared!" By having monsters that are "fun scary" instead of "upsetting scary", even this 2 year old is able to learn how we choose to be scared OR not by "scary" things! I love it!
Matriarchy and patriarchy don't exist one without the other, un the sense of the original meanings of the words (not the bastardized versuons that are now a byword and used only contemptuously to dismiss older cultures in favor of more recent, uhm, politicized perspectives).
You could have worded that a little different, but I completely agree. There's something very sweet about two dads being wholesome and tearing up because of their love for their children
@@Shiroi0moi I don't exactly see what was off about my wording. I just mean that, amongst all of the Amdrew Tate talk of the world, it's nice to have a reminder of this type of masculinity, that's all :)
@@celinepope "Alpha" masculinity is the unhealthiest type of maculinity there is. Not just to the men themselves, who'll end up bottling up their emotions which could lead to depression, anger, aggression, suicidal feelings and predatory sexual behavior. BUt also for the people around them (especially women) who will become victims of said aggression and potential predatory sexual behavior.
Speaking of Brian Regen: one of his "punchlines" was telling his kids, "Can't you see the paint on the wall is more important than the joy in your hearts?!" I think of that every time I get after my kids for something. Not that I want to let them destroy my house, but it helps me moderate my response and redirect without hurting anyone's feelings.
Have you geard of Montessori? I strongly recommend it and positive discipline for general communication advice. Its sooooo much more healthy than rewards and punishments too.
11:23 "It's just the kids are so much like real kids." Ohhh I'm gonna go on a long kinda nerdy spiel. Hayao Miyazaki is very observant of his environment and he would animate while thinking about how a person would fall, climb, or express themselves, taking time to pay attention to the littlest of things that might not seem like much but those things can show a lot about someone, it gives a sense that the characters are alive. The Studio Ghibli team under his direction puts so much time into the details too, like making sure they move in a way that gives you the sense of who they are. It reminds me how my theater coach told me "Do not put something in that does not have intention nor meaning." as in give life to every little detail to really give the nuance of the character you want to show and the environment they live in, and then the character gives life and meaning to the story because we grew to care just as we slowly start to care for a friend we made. We never know how's the story with that friend will end, but we continue because we care. And so, the kids are so much like real kids because he took his time to try to understand them, to really make something that would resonate with them, and personally I like how I would watch it and reminiscence that childhood wonder and curiosity. Hayao Miyazaki is kind of a grumpy man who at times is questionable, can't deny that and this same man made these movies for children as if to inspire them. Personally, I think all of this combined made Ghibli movies into movies that you didn't watch for the ending, but for the experience. To enjoy even the littlest of moment, to appreciate the beauty in life that we would often might miss, even if it's sad or happy, both of them deserved to be paid attention to. Thanks to Alan and Jono for reacting to My Neighbor Totoro!! Been watching Cinema Therapy to cry along lol And Studio Ghibli was my childhood and I love it every time I see someone who likes it too!
He was also quite friendly and often watched how the children of his employees acted. Spirited Away was made because he saw the daughter of one of this animators (I think) and decided he wanted to make a movie for little girls her age. A lot of the mannerisms of the adults in his movies are taken straight from his staff, too.
as an adult Kiki’s Delivery hits reaallly hard about finding independence, losing you creative spark and gaining your voice all over again. i adore that move when i’m feeling down! another lowkey gem is Whisper of The Heart which is about the artists journey and i also recommend Only Yesterday for a very self-reflective slice of life piece! thanks for doing Ghibli movies! i adore them!
In most films, there are 'beats'. Move from home, beat. Find new friends, beat. Start a new adventure, beat. In 'Kiki', the film ends between beats! She is making new friends, but is having trouble relating to her own feelings. The future of her delivery service in in doubt: she can't fly like she used to. She is mid-stride at the ending credits! Just like life, no clear start or end.
Damn, the moment satsuki asked her grandma what she should do if ever her mom died got me 😭 it’s like that shell she kept herself protected with just broke down at that moment, and she just started crying.
yeah. When older siblings are always taking charge of things and parenting the younger siblings it can be difficult to remember that there's still just a kid behind that seemingly adult and mature facade, and they still need love and comfort too, especially during hard times like that
In fact, this scene was added later. Producer Suzuki said to Miyazaki, "Satsuki is too mature. If she continues like this, she will become mentally ill because she can't show her weakness to others." At first, Miyazaki disagreed with this opinion, but he retracted it the next day. He then added a scene in which Satsuki cries because she cannot bear the fear that her mother might die.
19:42 what I see in this scene is Mei trying to comfort Satsuki. She sees her cry and and beeing scared about their moms health and decides to take action by bringing their mom the fresh corn to make her better faster (like they talked about just before the phonecall). And in making their mom better she sees the only way to help her older sister!
And the whole world could use more of this attitude in dealing with each other; diplomacy, empathy, and the like might not be especially exciting, but they're nothing to scoff at.
You realize the kids in the movie die, right? It's about acceptance and moving on, which I guess is healing in a way. Not exactly conflict-less, though.
@@arianaalejandro4005 The children die and the spirits help them see their parents one last time before moving on to the afterlife. It's a kids movie, so it's mostly implied, but pretty clear.
@@jamespryor5967 lol, no it's not. People have tried to push some sinister theories but Miyazaki has denied them. You can even see how their mom gets home and them getting a new sibling in the end credits.
When y'all say it's "this close to creepy" it's meant that way. Spirits can be both protectors and destroyers. Spirits that live in the border between the natural world and the human world often end up being more like protectors, and we see the big tree having been decorated with the circle of zigzag papers and that means a spirit lives there. Totoro and his group could be devastating, but they are the protectors of this little village instead, so long as they are respected, which the dad encourages the daughters to do by greeting the spirit properly :)
Oh! Haha just commented about the Shintoist "shide" decorations on the tree after Jonathan's comment on some Eastern symbolism in that scene, that they never really expanded on! Great comment!
According to Shinto a spirit leaves in every tree, rock, river... every piece of nature, that one being surrounded by Shide would be especially respected though. Japanese foresters still to this day have a big ceremony before they cut down trees to ask the spirits permission and give them a chance to essentially vacate their homes. All of Studio Ghibli's works have a very strong Shino thread in them.
I think it's less that the dad was 'playing along' but that he's deep in the lore of Shinto spirituality. Regardless, his method of keeping the girls moving and explaining things is definitely meant to foster their imaginations and make them feel heard.
Makes me think of my dad and how he went to explore with us when we were younger. I don’t remember half the things I believed in but I know some of it was his ideas, he had a very vivid imagination
Fun fact: the mother's illness is heavily implied in ancillary material (and Miyazaki's own life story) to be tuberculosis, which would explain why she's been in the hospital for so long and makes Satsuki's fear she might die seem much more realistic.
I always assumed she had TBC and was recovering in sanatorium. one an aside note: I also read some outlandish theories that the mom is dead, and the trip with the cat bus means the girls die as well, obviously those people never watched the end credits where it show them having a baby brother. And just don't start me on the reactions to the bathing scene .... :/
@@remko2 I always assumed that was a random baby from their village, but either way I don't buy that the mom or the girls "actually" die. That's just people being needlessly edgy. The movie takes place in the 1950's, when effective antibiotic treatment for TBC had just recently become a reality. Of course, it existing in one part of the world doesn't mean it would get to Japan in any sort of timely manner, and an extended hospital stay would probably be called for in any case. The bath scene is honestly one of my favorite parts of the movie. It's an adorable family moment; the fact that they're naked doesn't mean anything remotely sexual or harmful is happening. Honestly, I think we North Americans would be a lot healthier if we got more comfortable with casual nudity. (Also: those bathtubs are deep; a child Mei's age should absolutely not use one unsupervised.)
@@Truzyxx Apparently Miyazaki insisted that the main characters had to be little girls because the story would have hit too close to home for him if they were boys what with Miyazaki being the second eldest of four sons and his mother's spinal tuberculosis.
I just thought she was pregnant and was staying due to complications. I thought satsukis reaction was valid cause when I was a kid, an abnormally long 3 hour doctor visit for my baby sister put an irrational fear in me that she was going to die. It was so late the receptionist played a new movie on the lobby vcr which I thought was weird since those places never catered to just some kids waiting.
I think when dealing with children it's also important to think about their time scale. When you're 5, a year is 1/5 of your entire experience. It would be the equivalent of 6 years for someone who is 30 years old. So when her mom can't make it, May has been waiting for what feels like months even a whole year to her. Then suddenly she's too sick to come. Even as an adult you might feel a little selfishly betrayed underneath the inevitable feelings of disappointment, but you know that selfishness isn't healthy or fair so you set it aside. For May this is her first time confronting those feelings. On a deep level she knows it's wrong to be mad at their mom, but she's unable to identify and separate that emotion so it gets mixed into what she expresses.
Hey, just want to point out that the Dad isnt "just playing along" with a childish fantasy...i mean, Shintoism is one-if not the- dominant religous framework in Japan, and its totally reasonable for the Dad to attribute the experience to an interaction with nature spirits. He doesnt have to be devout or superstitous to know about it, and utilize it as a explanation
Many Japanese people, even if they aren’t completely into shintoism have some level of superstition. I mean there a still temples and shrines to gods of that religion where many people pray at and I wouldn’t be totally surprised if the dad has some of those superstitious and belief of spirits. Because that’s something Japanese people also largely believe in is spirits as someone who is Japanese and has lived there for years. It’s a great point and I understand how they could miss it since they may not be entirely knowledgeable about Japanese superstitions or religion but it’s a big point on explaining why the dad is maybe as curious and open to the idea of forest spirits.
I was coming to say this exact thing too. For example they do not bow to the tree for "play". They bow because it's a yorishiro, a thing capable of housing a kami (the rope tied around it clearly marks it as one), and Totoro is quite obviously a nature spirit, in other words a type of kami.
Mei wasn't running away from her sister or her problems. She saw her sister cry and worry that her mom really might die. Mei had this look of determination and put the pieces together: mommy might die + my corn will make her feel better = I'd better take this corn to mommy. And that is what she attempted to do before she got lost. It's actually quite logical, even kid-logical.
Totally agree. She was looking to Satsuki before she did it, & she saw Satsuki- who has always had to act as an adult & keep everything together as the oldest child- she saw Satsuki breaking down (which is natural coz she’s still a child), and she figured now it’s my turn… My corn will save mom. Totally kid-logical as you said.
I’m a full grown adult and I cry at this film at the strangest moments. It’s so innocent, pure and wholesome and I think our world just needs more of that.
Especially NOW where everyone is tense, angry, anxious, etc. I've been alone 23/7 for almost 2 years now and my psychiatrist doesn't get why my anti anxiety meds don't are enough anymore? Unable to work, huge dental issues, operations, weight loss to a BMI almost adequate for admittance and tube feedibg, guilt, etc. I couldn't even visit my parents out of fear to infect them (and the first hard lockdown for months) ( densly populated city - 2 mio- vs 9k town) All 3 of us highest risk group ... So people wonder why even relatively "healthy" people's mental health declines ? Well imagine you had 5 mental and 6 physical illnesses before the first lockdown. We now passed the 4 th hard one. Some areas of the country are still in the hard lockdown up until 17 th or 20 th ? Rules change daily but after 10 am tomorrow I won't notice any of it bevor of my OP and my trusty anaestheiologist. Thank medicine for Midazolam or I would have a literall heart attack on the seat. Heart rate 150 even with heavy sedation...
Yes, I found myself crying during scenes that are so wholesome, joyful, beautiful or calm. I don't know if I am alright, so sensitive, I have no control 😅
@@janedoex1398 hugs to you, the whole covid experience has been incredibly challenging for so many of us. These days, I like to remind myself of the lotus flower-- it emerges from the mud and muck, unique and beautiful. Plant those roots and hold on, it just takes time & perseverance. I'm diagnosed and treated for anxiety, depression, and ADD. Along with medication, Yoga & meditation really help to calm my mind, as does cognitive behavioral therapy. Hang in there, friend. 🤗
Their mom had tuberculosis. Satsuki has had to go through this before. She feels like she's in charge of Mei, due to her dad always working and trying to make sure everything is great at home. Dad moved them out to the countryside for all of their health and less stress. Mei is too young to comprehend everything as a whole. All she knows, is that she's lonely and wants her mom and a friend.
I really think that reacting to Wolf Children would make more an excellent therapist reacts video, it covers so many relevant topics when looking at the relationships between people. There's navigating raising children as a single parent, dealing with the loss of a loved one, the difficulties and rewards of childrearing, preparing your children for life, relationships between siblings, relationships between children and their peers, how children explore their identity. I've been watching your content for sometime and really enjoy whenever you give anime films recognition for the effort they make to show believable human interactions.
Oh my gosh YES Wolf Children is extremely good. Inspired me to (hopefully) become a mother someday. Lots of great scenes about being a single parent, having to keep a secret from your community, how children’s interests and personalities change with life experience, etc.
I second this!! Please react to Wolf Children, it's a really emotional and powerful movie. It includes a lot of family dynamics that can be explored. Yes, it will definitely bring the waterworks, but it's a really good movie.
"It's just an expression of pain." The hardest part for me is keeping straight exactly when I need to validate the feelings my children in empathy and love and when I need to say, "that's enough." For example, every night at bedtime I sing to my children, and my daughter will always ask for one more song when I'm done, if she had her way I would literally sing for two hours after her bedtime, and she's really just procrastinating bedtime. At the same time, I want her to have all the songs and hugs and kisses. And in that particular case I've seen it enough nights that it's really obvious, but other times I have to stop and think to myself, "Does my daughter need more love and attention right now, or in spite of what she wants is it time for me to work? Is my son trying to talk to me during dinner because he's sharing his day and his feelings, or is he just trying to distract me from the fact that he's not eating his broccoli?" Both of those things happen, and the hard part, at least for me, isn't knowing that I need to pay attention to them and their feelings, but knowing when they're gaming the system (because they're totally smart enough to do that) and when they truly need me. And sometimes, even when I'm not tired or distracted, when I'm really trying to do my best, I can't say for sure and I have to guess a little bit, and sometimes I get it wrong.
Jacob, the fact that you're even conscious of this means that you're already a GREAT parent! And that's including maybe getting it wrong sometimes. Because no human is perfect. Which means no Parent is perfect. Because we all make mistakes. But you're Conscious and Present and Continuously Improving. So, I'm REALLY glad that your kids have someone like you as their Dad! Keep up the great work Jacob!
Same. But I'm pretty sure it's ok to not get it right. I have "rules" for bedtime, 2 books and a song. Kids like routines. It actually makes them feel safe, knowing what's happening. Draw a picture of the bedtime "rules." Have your kid decorate it. But in reality, be flexible. I'm a teacher too, and I actively teach my students the word flexible, saying that we have a routine for classwork or our daily schedule, but sometimes life happens and we have to be ok with change. And I would trust your gut. If it looks like they're just messing with you, point to the schedule, give them a kiss and say goodnight.
@@harvestmoon_autumnsky Whoah! I'm really impressed by your teaching around "flexibility"... 😳 I remember that we as kids were REALLY conscious of rules as a structure for life and the concept of "sometimes there are exceptions & that's ok" feels like a really hard one... even sometimes as an adult, tbh!! 🤭 It seems like it'd be hard to achieve that flexibility without triggering the super-sensitive child reflexes around "rules don't count" or "not fair!!" Kudos to your pedagogical skills, that's a great foundational concept for your classes to grasp!
I deal with stuff in this genre with my students sometimes, and what I often do when I’m not sure is just ask them flat out (but like with a kind of loving teasing energy, cos like I’ve been there as a kid and done stuff). At first I was surprised by how honest they were, both for when they are trying to pull a fast one and when they need more care/support/attention, and I think with the loving teasing energy behind it, that does a combo move of I care about you/this is not a big deal/let’s be real about it tho. Don’t know how this plays out with diff stages of development tho, I work with middle and high schoolers. In general tho I’m pretty transparent with them, like the person mentioned above in their way, cos kids are super observant and do already have a read on you a lot of the time, so I just bring them into the process (but still lead it).
But I think May's "its not fair" is that it isn't fair that her mother is sick. But as a big sister its unfair that she has to manage the emotions of a child when she is also a child.
I think it's true on both: she was waiting for her mother, and then she suddently can't come. Acknowledging the unfairness of a disease is rare for a kid that age, byt nevertheless heart wrenching. She just wanted her mum back; family is the kids' whole world.
Yeah the older kid's just slowly learning about adulting and responsibility herself, but feels pushed into being fully responsible and rational all the time by having her younger sister follow her around everywhere.
@@crios8307 well the part where she her mom was just heart breaking man its too much man and you can correct me if im wrong since i suffer from memory lost unfortunately so i may say the wrong stuff.
The scene where they thank the big tree is clearly showing Shinto sensibilities, and the decorated rope wrapping it is a thing in real life that signals that a natural element is to be protected because it's sacred/inhabited by important spirits.
I love that Alan cries out of joy so easily. My dad and I are the same way and it is one of my favorite and least favorite things that I've inherited. Shows such a sweet side in a person, though!
One of my favourite movies, it hits even harder if you have been separated from your parent due to a illness they were going through when you were growing up.
Ooh yeah. My mum died when I was 12. She spent weeks in the hospital. That "will she get better/will she be herself/will she ever come home?" was one of the hardest bits.
Jep i cried through the movie. My dad Was in hospital for most of my puberty and all the totoro scenes remembered me of the times where i Wandered around, pretending to be in other worlds, just not mine
Yes. My mum spent a lot of time in the hospital when i grew up and I also have a little sister, so I tried my best to support her through the hard times. I used to make a "pillow mum" out of one of my mums t-shirts and a pillow for her and read the same children storie every night I could. Our age- gap isn't that big, but I really hope she felt like I was a good big sister that she could lean on.
Agreed. It was the reverse for me - I was the one alone in the hospital - but it was just as painful to watch my parents struggle to process their emotions as I suffered and struggled. Chronic/terminal illness can be like a wrecking ball to families and that's why MNT is so satisfying and comforting.
One of the best part of movies like this and Kiki’s delivery service is the care the characters parents show to them. It’s beautiful and something I carry with me today in my every day as a parent. Empathy, love, compassion for our children is just as important as us showing it to other adults. Kids deserve respect and affirmation of their own feelings like we would want for ourselves.
Yeah. These kind of movies or shows are a time of peace, warmth and heart for me. As if everything is good. And they taught me which kind of adult I want to be: Empathic, kind, patient and understanding.
no shame in watching in dubbed too, sometimes folks can't quite fully get the emotion when they don't understand the language, hard to explain. Me personally I like to listen while I work so I need dubs more often than subs (thankfully i've been fortunate with good dubs)
I find I can get more emotion from the original language as most dubs just sound silly to me. There are a few good ones but sometimes it feels so exaggerated haha. It is nice to listen to when working tho
I have a hard time concentrating to watch something in English (my native language) let alone watch a whole anime reading the whole time. I watch the dub because practically I can't watch the sub. Frankly I'm tried of people gatekeeping anime by saying you can't watch anime if you don't watch the sub.
They put alot of thought in the voice actors for dubbing of all the Studio Ghibli characters. The children's characterzations are perfect for English speaking children. My son has grown up with all of them: Ponyo, Princess Mononoke & Little bamboo, ect.
When my ex and I first divorced, I discovered My Neighbor Totoro and introduced my kiddos to him. My children were 2 and 5, much like the girls in the movie. Totoro showed us that even when life is not "normal" we can be ok. And it showed me how I could be a better Mom. This movie was a balm to my spirit and my kids developed a love for all things Studio Ghibli, even now, 10 years later! 🥰
I lost my grandfather this week, and seeing Mae's reactions in this film really hit me. I feel the way she does, and it's true that we all have the same emotions no matter our age. All we can do is learn new coping mechanisms.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/AGNEZ 💜 MAKE ME YOUR S*X SLAVE TH-cam: This is fine Someone: Says "help" TH-cam: BE GONE History : deleted Phone : yeeted Body :heated Holy water : needed #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾 #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). . !💖🖤❤
I am very sorry - maybe you can remember something awesome you and your grandfather did together and imagine a hug from me? Being sad about this is okay. Maybe it helps to remember something awesome you shared?
sending you love!! I lost a loved one three years ago, and it's not easy, but I think it's important to remember that your grandfather's love for you is never gone :)
I'm sorry you're going through this. sending you lots of love. take care of yourself, let your loved ones support you. grief doesnt have to be all horrible, grief is full of so much love and light. i know you most likely dont need advice, anything i could say you probably have already heard before so i just want you to know that you are so lucky to have had a wonderful grandfather.
The cat/spider bus is actually amazing. I think it’s at the razors edge of the cute/uncanny valley line. It’s impressive how cute it is without crossing that line even though it’s so close.
This movie means so much to me. I saw it when I was in Japan. I had just gotten word that one of my friends back home had passed away from cancer, and my friends in Japan sat with me to watch this movie together, and even though it was raw (no dub, no sub), it was a gentle hug in movie form.
The reason why he's called Totoro is because saying "troll" in Japanese would be "to-ro-ru" and Mei, being so little, fumbled it a little into "Totoro"
@@dumpsterDeity not disproving that, just saying that the in-universe reason for him being called Totoro is that, especially since there’s that scene of Satsuki questioning “Totoro? You mean a troll?” And in the credits you can see the girls with their nom reading a story book with a ‘troll’ under a bridge with a big mouth like Totoro
Has anyone else read the book that Miyazaki Hayao wrote in 1980 that is the original concept for the Princess Mononoke story before the animation came out? The original character of Mononoke Hime looks quite a bit like Satsuki and the “mononoke” spirit in the story looks very similar to Totoro and rides a top. Pretty interesting stuff.
@@michivallieres8334 Hayao Miyazaki had the idea of Totoro from around 1970. Some people say Princess Mononoke is another side of Totoro. The combination of gods (great spirits) and girls are one of his favourite concepts. So I believe Totoro and Princess Mononoke came from the same place. Totoro is one of the "great spirits" and mononokes in Princess Mononoke are also great spirits (Kami in Japanese), so Totoro and Princess Mononoke so when Hayao Miyazaki draw the "image board" of Princess Mononoke, his imagination started from something looks like Totoro, I guess. Sorry my English is poor so not sure if I explained well.
I am autistic, I struggle a lot with expressing my emotions, I often don't even understand what I'm feeling myself and the whole 'past the behavior to the emotions' makes so much sense to me, yes I'm crying but I'm not sad, I'm overwhelmed. telling me to stop crying won't help, turning off the tv and the lights so I'm not overstimulated anymore will. A lot of people don't understand that, but it's very hard for me to explain because I really understand what I'm going through most of the time. this explained so much to me, thank you.
I'm not autistic, but I get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily, which can cause me to become angry or cry. I don't know if it would work for you, but in my case I have had to practice identifying my feelings step-by-step in the moment, like "Crying. Why crying? Because I'm overwhelmed. Why overwhelmed? Because it's too much. What is too much? All of these noises." And then I can make an exit plan and more succintly let other people know what's happening. Like, "It's loud here, so I'm upset."
This movie means a lot to me and my sister's. I was about Mei's age when my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had 4 older siblings the oldest,my sister being 16 and a baby sister who was around one at the time ( so 6 kids). Dad was always working, sometimes 2 jobs to provide for us and mom was very sick ( she went through radiation treatment for the cancer as well as having her thyroid removed and we couldn't get near her, I have memories of a child gate and mom in bed and me telling her from the other side of that gate how my day went) so it was up to my siblings, and other family, mainly our oldest sister to take care of us and stepped in to the mom role even though she was still a child herself. This movie holds a spot in our hearts( me, my oldest sister and youngest sister) because this is what it means to us to be a family, to be sisters and all three of us still cry with this movie to this day. And big sis if you see this comment cause I KNOW you will watch this video, I want you to know how much I love you and am thankful to have you as my big sister. I love our other sisters and brothers but your my favorite...don't tell the youngest that lol 😋.
My husband and I both love ghibli and specially Totoro (our wifi is named Totoros neighbors). We actually watched it with our newborn the night we brought him home from the hospital at 3 days old. However we haven't really watched it from a parents perspective, or as an example for good relationship between parents and children. Thank you for helping me realize that it's not cute and cuddly Totoro or sweet Mei, but gentle, understanding Tatsuo who makes this movie feel like a warm hug.
Oh my, have you already thought about reacting to Lilo & Stitch? I guess you get movie orders all the time, but I feel like this is one of Disney's best and it has a very interesting family background. Anyway, I am so happy you're reacting to a Ghibli movie OMG!!! Love My Neighbor Totoro 😭❤️
And Lilo is a great child character. Just like May in "Totoro", she's weird, irrational, intensely emotional, exactly like a 6 year old. My favorite part about her is so subtle. In the beginning she's late to dance because she needs to feed Pudge the Fish a peanutbutter sandwich, because she believes that Pudge controls the weather. Her parents died because of a storm. She's both trying to make sense of a chaotic world, but also concerned about such a thing happening again or to anyone else.
My Neighbor Totoro is a great example of how children of a certain age, sometimes, don’t know how to articulate their feelings. As we grow older, we’re learning how to process and understand them, but it’s not an over-and-done thing. We’re always feeling something.
Honestly I relate to Mei a lot when she's like "IT'S NOT FAIR". Due to the pandemic I've had to cancel a bunch of things and like...I do that because it's the responsible thing to do, but I'm still upset about it! That's just what you feel when you have to choose between two options that both suck.
I have tried to explain this to people who complain about staying put in Covid. Yes, I have mostly canceled a lot of plans, but I didn't do that because I wanted to. It has been the safe thing to do. But it's not been easy and even if I seem like I'm getting through it, that doesn't mean I haven't had some tough days
I actually always interpreted the scene when Mei runs away differently. Satsuki has always been the strong one that Mei could rely on (even if there was conflict) and because of that Mei has no idea that really Satski feels the same way she does - terrified. When Mei sees Satsuki break down and cry for the first time she realizes that her sister is in pain too. I've always seen Mei running away as a response to seeing Satsuki sad, something she hasn't really seen before, and trying to do something for her. She is running to take her corn to mum and heal her not strictly for herself, but for Satsuki. She obviously totally overestimates herself and what she can do. But overall I've always seen this part not as Mei running away from something, but towards something. Not avoidance, but taking action to help. Obviously Mei isn't rationalizing this the way I am now, didn't think it through probably not even super consciously taking these steps - she's too young for that and she's acting on impulse. But I still always felt that this was her motivation.
I always saw it as when she saw Satsuki crying, and realized she was sad and hurting too, Mei took it upon herself to get that corn straight to mom so both her and Satsuki can be happy and mom will get well too, it's a win for everyone
i didn't grow up with this movie, in only saw it like maybe last year when i got netflix. however, i did grow up in a toxic household under controlling and emotionally abusive parents and this movie just somehow breaks my heart and heals it all at the same time... it is one of those movies that i keep re-watching and it makes me cry every time. the way Mei and Satsuki were loved by their parents and people around them and the way they were free to imagine, to run around make noise and talk loudly (like kids usually like to do)... it feels other worldly. i can't believe that people like their mom and dad exist in this world. especially in the Japanese version, Mei has a very loud voice (oh i love her voice in the Japanese version). she likes to talk loudly and no adult ever told her to quiet down or lower her voice. i know it's a stupid thing to talk about but i used to have a loud voice as a child, i actually had trouble regulating the tone and loudness of my voice especially in excitement or after long periods of not talking (i realized this after growing up) and i was always scolded for being loud, even at my happiest moments. they always interrupted me when i was really really excitedly telling them something and scolded me to lower my voice... it used to kill me inside... like i was never important. and it didn't matter where we were and even if that place was completely fine for being loud, like i wasn't allowed to be loud even in the comfort of my own "home". but seeing Mei and Satsuki run around being loud always makes the little child inside of me so happy and giggly...
I just wanted to say, thank you for crying on camera. So many men (and women) are afraid to let anyone see them cry or be vulnerable, myself included. Seeing another adult cry, particularly someone who is successful and has a family- I think it serves as a good example. It lets us know its okay to be vulnerable, its okay to cry. Its not something that you should be embarrassed or ashamed of. So thank you for being a good role model to people of all ages. :) Also I LOVE Ghibli movies! Howl's Moving Castle and Kiki's Delivery Service are my favorites. I think there are some interesting metaphores in Kiki's that you guys would enjoy exploring from a psychological stand point.
I actually wrote a paper about Kiki’s Delivery Service and mindfulness! The fact that there was no external conflict, but that the sources of Kiki’s struggles were the result of burnout and self doubt are themes that are powerful even for adult viewers
I literally wrote two Ghibli papers, one about Spirited Away, and one about Ghibli in general, and yet I completely overlooked Kiki! I feel like such a dunce, it's my girlfriend's favourite Ghibli film. Granted, the general Ghibli in general paper was more about relating things to events in japanese history, and I'd struggle to fit Kiki in there... but still! Spirited Away was so much fun to write about, because Miyazaki really crammed a lot in there. A movie that is stand-alone fascinating, but secretly it's about economic collapse, the housing bubble, the lost decades, cultural identity, industrialization, the environment, and so much more! Ghibli movies have so many rich, vibrant themes, the animations are so expressive, the colours so perfectly balanced, the music is always top-notch... A lot of the time if I analyze a movie, it becomes boring, but Ghibli movies only become more fascinating!
I just wanted to thank you guys for making this video. My father has never been able to understand the thought process of a child and it made my childhood very difficult. Often he would judge my decisions to the standards of an adult and really reprimand me over it. Well today, my 7 year old nephew didn't listen to my father and almost put himself in danger, but my Dad noticed and prevented the tragedy. He was still really riled up by it and could not understand why my nephew couldn't just follow directions and it was so obvious that he could have gotten hurt. I used the words of Jonathan and said, "Well, Dad, that is thinking of an adult. His thought process is that of a child's." And for the first time in my life, I felt heard by my father in a situation like this. I felt his energy soften. It actually healed me just a little bit to talk to my father about my nephew. It almost made the pent up memories of my dad yelling at me seem a tiny bit less significant. So thank you.
One thing great about Hayao Miyazaki's films is how life-like the characters are. This is because Miyazaki watches people to study their habits, and then put them into his animations. Like how kids would behave in certain situations, small little habits a person would do, etc. - it's very true to life.
He also puts in things from his own experiences and childhood memories like in Spirited away when they pull out a bicycle from the river spirit, that's something he's actually done with his friends from an actual river.
As someone on the spectrum I’ve had a lot of success dealing with little kids and even animals because of something that is often treated like an issue by people who don’t want to be patient or flexible with me: I take words at face value almost all of the time. It’s easy to be annoyed by kids who are fighting with each other over nothing or start accusing each other of things, but I’ve also found that taking their complaints at face value and building from there the same way you would if two adult friends were arguing. That level of respect validates them and allows them to move on from the stage of complaining where they insist you take them seriously as fast as possible. Highly recommend trying it next time you deal with kids or pets that won’t leave you alone, they’ve always responded well to it when I need to.
I'm not autistic but I have a strong tendency toward being blunt and forthright, and I often act as if everyone else is too, even if they're not. For personal reasons, I don't have much patience for bs. And kids fucking love me. I literally can't get rid of them. It's been like this since I was a teenager and just keeps happening. Because when they talk to me, I respond totally normally. I adjust things like vocab and swearing to suit their age, but otherwise I don't change how I communicate. Someone says "my friend died" I say "that's really sad, I'm sorry that happened". Someone says "I want goldfish crackers" I say "Me too, but I don't have any, and if I did, I wouldn't give them to you." Someone says "i have a crush on a girl at school", I say "well ask her out. she's not going to know until you tell her." Then they give me this Look like two action heros might give to eachother at the climax of a movie, and I know, I've accidentally gained their trust. I do not recommend, you'll never get rid of the neighbor's kids otherwise. Great for babysitting though. It's much easier to chase down a comrade than an enemy.
As someone who is also on the spectrum, what they said about "kids not being able to handle emotions" really spoke to me. I feel that what a lot of people don't understand is that I'm not emotional or sensitive out of choice, it's the way my brain works. When I'm sad I want to cry and to isolate myself., when I'm happy I want to jump around and stim, and so on. I think the same people who can't understand those in the spectrum are the ones who can't understand children and the way their emotions work
ASD here too, it's amazing how well kids respond to just being treated like people. I don't even really like kids for more than 10 minutes, but they stick to me like glue.
Can you give some examples on how you're pulling that off with animals other than people? Got really curious! I love this comment and the replies it's gotten. I wanna learn to be more like y'all so badly!
Whenever my friends or family members are upset I always ask them, “Do you want solutions or comfort?” This helps me understand how I can help them advice or just a hug…
When I'm upset about something. I will tell my husband if I want him to try to fix it or if I want him to listen and comfort mr. He is a natural fix it guy when it comes to me. He says it helps q lot. Lol
Ohh I need to remember that too! I’m a natural fixer but over time I’ve learned that some ppl just need to be comforted and listened to or just need to know someone’s at their side...they don’t need to be fixed or always need advice...
This video broke me. I am a caretaker for my mother, who, due to brain damage and dementia, is functionally a child. I try so hard to be a good source of support for her, but it's difficult and frustrating and relentless. I often snap, yell, or just fail in other ways to be the kind, generous, patient caretaker (parent in all but name) who she needs, and who I want to be. Love these videos so much. Please keep doing what you're doing!
Hang in there. I took care of my grandfather who had dementia. My grandma was his primary caretaker, so what I tried to do was support her in whatever way she needed, most often watching over my grandpa so she could get a break. I sincerely hope you have someone in your life that can do the same for you, because man that is not an easy job. Try not to be too hard on yourself when your emotions run high or because you feel exhausted and it just never ends. As Alan and Jono have said, even when the situation is as good as it can be when it comes to parenting, its still hard. Hard in the sense that its just you’re always “on”. You’re doing the best you can in an exhausting situation.
At 6:41 I literally started crying, sobbing crying. This had been one of my top 2 favorite movies since I was a toddler, and ok long tangent; I recently just rediscovered some trauma and went through new traumas this year related to my mother and her NPD, bipolar disorder and living with her for the first time since I was 16; and her not taking her pills. Well and with that realizing how much I was robbed as a child from loving companionship and caring understanding interactions with my mom, my only parent and caregiver, due to her self centered vapid attitude towards life and using me at the scapegoat and literally her punching bag to all her problems. Realizing my freeze response and disassociation isnt healthy. That I should be able to remember my childhood. Finally this year; quitting drinking and drugs after being addicted for 10 years. I watched this movie, and kiki's delivery service, over and over and over as a child and all the way to a teen until my mom broke the VHS tape intentionally. The whole time just wishing I was there and could change things in my life to be better. As an adult I see it now, and wish I could hug that girl I used to be, cuz that's mostly what she needed. Thank you for your view on the film. It definitely helped me to have some new talking points to bring up with a therapist when I can afford one. Thank you, seriously I appreciate your videos
Even if it sounds somewhat crazy: you can "go" and hug that girl - just take a quiet moment and imagine it in as much detail, as you can. I did this a while ago and it helped a lot - more than I had expected.
Thank you, both! I'm going to look up a guided meditation for inner child healing and start working my way to hugging/holding my inner child as she had always needed. I'd never though of meditation, and I know its definitely worth trying
One of the best examples of parenting I saw at the fair one year. We walked past one of the more topsy turvey fast and scary rides and I heard a dad talking to his daughter who was crying and saying ‘that was really scary right? But you tried a new thing and you did your best and I’m so proud of you! Let’s go get some ice cream!’ It was just so sweet and his tone was so supportive and ensuring bro I almost burst into tears in the middle of the fair.
The first time I watched this movie, I ugly cried for like 15 minutes afterward. It was just so wholesome and pure, and it was so refreshing and uplifting to see a movie where bad things didn’t really happen; it was just two little girls having fun and living a good life surrounded by nurturing people. The fact that they were encouraged to be kids and exercise their imaginations and believe in magic, it just hit so hard because so many kids are forced to face the real world and grow up way too fast. We don’t need violence and hatred in our world, we need more of THIS.
I am happy you get to see more men open up like this. To be honest a lot of men at Church do so as well, but I do not think women get to see men talk to each other openly due to privacy and reliance needs. The best chats I had was while playing basketball or doing math problems lol.
May's "It's not fair!" made me think immediately "She just misses her mummy!" which is understandable. The dad is a great guy without question but he cannot be both parents. You have a different connection with your mum and it is even much more different as a girl than as a boy. I think, even though May is not able to verbalize it, she knows that the longer mum stays away that it has to be more serious and there is the underlying fear of mum not coming back at all. Kids realize and know A LOT. Even at 4 years old. I also understand the sister though, because while the little sister is more free in how to express her frustration and pain, she already as a school kid has the idea in her head of how to behave in society and to be reasonable and her sister's outburst - It's not only "annoying" to her, but it also touches that part inside herself that craves connection with her mother and who fears for her and who is helpless. There is nothing you can do as a child if your mother is sick. You are "victim" to how life kinda is deciding for you and your family, you have no power over it and that is scary. As a kid it scares you. (It does as an adult too, obvsly, however, you are learning to process your emotions.)
My parents starting living in different houses when I was 5, and I struggled a lot with stuff like that. When I was around each parent, it was a very different experience, my mom was the more open and creative one, where my dad had his own struggles with emotions, and didn't want me showing any emotion. Which was hard, as I was later diagnosed with ADHD and part of that means difficulty regulating emotion, so I was often more emotional for things that are seen as not emotional, while perhaps now showing enough or the right emotion during more emotional moments. So that was hard, and I basically had to make two versions of me, and then a third for school, changing my personality to meet the wants of others. But I'd also escape into fantasy and mythology a lot, similar to creating worlds of forest creatures that made me really like this movie when I saw it (it wasn't in English at the time, so I was in jr high school). I've been trying to stop hiding parts of me, but sometimes I wish I had a dad who was more open and willing to accept me with my faults and challenges as well as my weird imagination.
I remember seeing this when I was little and really FEELING Satsuki's pain. When she cries because she just can't handle being the 'stronger older sister'. It's so good!!
This movie is indeed a warm blanket; in that warm blanket, you get to remember what it is like to be a child. The visuals take you to places you've never been to before... Under the full moon, in the branches of a giant tree, children sit with friendly forest spirits. Sublime.
I really love how Alan is so pure and showing his emotions. It really hit me when he was tearing up about how the dad is connecting with the child, and kids taking that with them the rest of life. Literally 2 hours ago my dad was telling me 3x in a row that he wanted to break contact with me, after I opened up about struggling with something. Seeing this makes me think and pause.
I know this is a bit old by now, but just want to expand a bit on what you guys were saying at around 10:58, about how this is how children act. Hayao Miyazaki watched one of his grandchildren put on their shoes, and the toe-tap thing that happens in Spirited Away is based off of how the kid put on their shoe. I love Miyazaki films because there are so many little slice-of-life moments that can sometimes fill you with a sense of nostalgia. I don't know how to describe it, it's just a feeling deep inside that instantly transports me back in time, but also fills me with a bit of melancholy.
I really like this film, as you say, the most adorable film ever made. You have mentioned, the lack of conflict, but I would also add, the lack of melodrama. The mother is sick and has been in the hospital for a while, but there isn't a great fuss about it. Even in the part of the film, when they could have gone melodramatic really easy, they don't slip there. Wonderful movie. And it's almost 40 years old now.
Wow! It's basically my age?? Having only vaguely heard of it, had no idea! The art & production style have held up really well. Tho gotta agree with Alan - for me, the supernatural critters def cross that cute>creepy line 😝
‘When Marnie Was There’ has so much substance to work with in terms of being therapeutic; the main character, Anna, has asthma and possibly a depression (her parents and grandmother have all died), so Anna’s sent by her truly kind and caring foster mother to the foster mother’s country-side family, to cure Anna’s asthma with some fresh air. Anna is lonely and introverted, but then meets Marnie, who changes everything. I’m going to be honest, I bawled my eyes out. It’s such a gorgeously crafted movie - I’d suggest it to anyone in a heartbeat.
Omg that literally is my favorite Ghibli movie! I love it so much and totally relate to how you felt watching it. I couldn’t stop crying even after watching the film it had a lasting effect. It’s just such a great movie and I’d love them to react to it 🤧
Ghibli movies are so special and I love how they really lean into the quieter moments and don't force the action and conflict. My favorite Ghibli movie is hands down Whisper of the Heart and there really isn't a huge outside conflict and most of it resides in the main character so I understand why its not as popular as Totoro or Kiki's or Spirited Away, but it inspired me so much at such a young age that all the other Ghibli movies just don't hit the same. Its also a really great movie to look at insecurities and imposter syndrome that a lot of artists face from time to time
When I was 11 my mom went into the hospital for a very long time. I was in charge of my 9 year old brother and my kindergarten aged sister. I first saw this movie as a young adult (the far superior original dub) and it really hit home. I could totally relate to Satsuki and how she felt. I think the thing that really affected me the most was when Mei complains to the mom about Satsuki fixing her hair and their mom brushes Satsuki's hair. Satsuki really needed that. It both validated and praised her efforts to fill mom's shoes and take care of Mei yet acknowledged that Satsuki still needed her mom to take care of her too.
I’ve been raising my niece for a year since she was 13 and in and off before that for years. She came from a broken and dysfunctional home and affirming and nurturing her has been such a rewarding joy. It makes me so happy every time I see the way I’m teaching her reflect in her behavior and her growth into a young lady.
I love seeing how emotional these films make Alan. Like, its so refreshing to see a man willing to cry and be open about his emotions. My family has always consisted of majority males. There was my dad, two younger brothers and then my mum and I. And my dad was and still is abusive. So as a result my mum and I have two very emotionally stunted young men on our hands since our dad did all his damage and then left. Neither of my brothers know how to cope with their emotions in healthy ways, all of their pain and frustrations come out in anger and screaming and throwing things around the house. And my mum and I are of the opinion that asking for therapy and help needs to come from the person that needs it and shouldn't be something they're made to do so getting them the help that they need is difficult. I just wish my brothers had a man in their lives like Alan. Someone to show them that their emotions are valid, they're allowed to feel them and that its OK to cry.
I’ve recently become a mother and am trying to follow “gentle parenting” and after watching this video it’s really cemented my thoughts on this as basically attachment theory and especially the comment on getting behind the behaviour to the emotion. But it’s hard especially when you haven’t been brought up that way (although I have very secure attachments with my parents but it was different and shouty!) anyway I loved the video thank you!
It's wonderful that you're giving a go at it! I think it's important to reflect on our own upbringing and explore how we can improve upon those experiences. We won't always succeed and we'll have good days and bad days; but on the whole, that awareness and openness to change will only make things better. So, as someone who works with children, I'd like to thank you. It might seem silly, but I figured it was worth saying.
One thing I think could be added to the discussion on when Mei and Satsuki fight, is that it's the point where Satsuki's big sister act breaks down. Because she's been effectually mothering Mei for a long time, but at that point she's so disappointed, so scared and afraid that she can't manage to see the world from Mei's point of view. So not only does Mei's reaction make total sense from a little kid-point of view, Satsuki's reaction also makes total sense from the view of an older kid who has been trying to handle everything in an adult fashion for a long time.
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I always felt for Satsuki, watching Totoro. She has all the same emotions and anxieties as Mei, but feels like she has to keep the bottled up and keep control for Mei's sake. When she finally lets it all go in the aftermath of Mei's tantrum, you realize what a silent burden this has been for her.
As an oldest child, I have had to be Satsuki.
Especially since she's old enough to have some understanding that their mom is very, very sick.
@@oracleofthemundane9593 I'm right there with you
@@oracleofthemundane9593 Me too, buddy. Of course, my version of it was still a silly, jokey, emotional child, but at the same time I was kinda expected to always be positive and understanding and mature in an emotional sense. Didn't exactly... get to release much sadness, stress or anger, and yay now I don't even know what makes me angry, before it hits me out of the bushes! Yay for... conflict avoidance..?
Thank you for saying this. As the older sister who always tries to look after my brother, with a severely depressed mum who's been hospitalized before, I feel this very strongly. Satsuki's struggle is very relatable.
"It's like a movie made by children, if they could write brilliant screenplays" is the most concise and accurate description of this movie
Miyazaki is pretty much a child stuck in an old man's body ...
@Gon Itadori fuck no. Furry propaganda film
They're not wrong, because a lot of his writing is Miyazaki coping with childhood trauma. He grew up in a country leveled by bombs, disease, and post-war trauma.
its funny though because Miyazaki is actually a terrible father to his son
When I was child, I really felt sympathy for their feelings.
Goonies, Stand by Me, and Home Alone, I enjoyed those movies, but I didn't feel sympathy. Because they were funny and cool, I admired. For sure they are made by adults.
Please PLEASE do something with Howl's Moving Castle. It's my all time favorite Studio Ghibli movie and it has such an amazing message about self acceptance.
Do this! the struggle for self-acceptance, confronting responsibilities and expectations it's just Begging for a Therapist
Seconding this!
Yes and also When Marnie Was There. Oh just any other Ghibli movie too lol
Literally any Ghibli movie.
Pleeeeeeeeease its my first and favorite
Miyazaki's ability to accurately capture children and how they act is part of why Grave of Fireflies was so gut wrenching.
Isao Takahata directed Grave of the Fireflies but agree that all Studio Ghibli movies are masterclass in storytelling
I once spam message in the comment section for them to see my request for the reaction to Grave of The Fireflies.
I failed.
火垂るの墓
I don't want to touch this pain for the second time in my life
bless the children of the world
@@themask4536 yes it’s so depressing
@@yawaakongkinabuhi2465 They already made a video
Alan, teary eyed: just a dad, connecting with his kids in a way they understand.
Me: I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG BUT YOU'RE ALL THE WAY OVER THERE.
Omg this cute comment, and then the s*x slave reaction to it, jeez the internet is ff'd up xD
@@nadjadebruin6227 its a bot that i think tags comments with lots of likes. Basically trying to maximize visibility.
@@isapheonix Yeah I know, it's just that the contrast was hilarious
I KNOW RIGHT
God that's a mood
I feel like this film is basically a 'slice of life' film, which is sadly rare in Western animation or kids' movies. People too often assume that kids only enjoy noisy, high-action drama but it's not true. Totoro is very immersive and relatable to all ages because it feels like real, heartfelt childhood moments, even the gentle fantasy aspects.
I agree! It was one of my favorites growing up. Me and my sister had a catbus plushie
I first watched this movie when I was 5, and it was rented so often that my uncle bought me the VHS (I still have it to this day). So yeah, kids like those types of movie as well XD
This is why I love "slice of life" anime in general. Some of them are on a more dramatic scale/side and deal with real life problems in a very realistic perspective, but a lot of them are just SO squishy and wonderful (even with a few conflicts thrown in here and there). They are shows I watch when I need an emotional break or when I want to rewatch something that doesn't have that strong conflict.
o.o
I loved this movie growing up! Between Miyazaki films and Pixar I've come to realize my favorite sort of storytelling can be best described as "slice of life, but one fantastic element". Like moving into a new town and meeting the neighbor, but he's a forest spirit. Trying to reconnect with an estranged family member, but while in the land of the dead. Starting a delivery business in a new town, but the method is flying on a broom. Fulfilling a passed loved one's life goal for closure, but it's done with a house attached to balloons. And there's so many beautiful, quiet moments in all these movies that made the immersion into the story so, well, immersive! My Neighbor Totoro was the first movie to introduce me to that idea, and it stuck with me since.
I love how they don't attribute everything to "Japanese being Japanese". While it is good to acknowledging cultural differences, it's also beneficial to acknowledge what people do on fundamentally human level -- excellent parenting, children being caught up in their feelings, etc..
Probably because it's not a "Japanese thing". Most Asian parents are strict and harsh towards kids, comparing to Western parents.
SO true. There's a whole subreddit ( r/AsianParentStories ) where asian kids from all over just talk and vent and support each other dealing with the treatment from their asian parents. I could go into detail about it, but honestly, reading through those posts makes clear there are a lot of people using "It's our culture" to excuse some pretty serious abuse. There is a LOT of overlap with r/raisedbynarcissists, too.
@@DeathBringerBecky Man its so sad how many people joke about asian or mexican, etc parents too. Like people laugh but isn't it just abuse?? Idk if its how they cope I understand but I think it's too normalized :(
Sort of, but unfortunately it's apparently *not* just a "joke" or a "stereotype" or something.
I wish it was.
There's apparently a particular type of...Asian child abuse, I suppose you could call it.
I've heard of this from a few different Asian people.
It's just kind of...sad. ☹️
I guess different cultures all kind of tend to have their own different good and bad responses to children. 🙄
@@ae831 I AGREE!
It IS a form of coping with systematic abuse.
"You raise strong and harty children, if the learn to deal with hardship early." Yeah, but I'm NOT HERCULES, mom ! I'd love to hear "I love you," just once before we die 🥲😢😿😂💧
So many emotions I HAD to use emojis v.v
But yes, we are all human, I'd like for the acknowledgement to have been there. I know you do it for me, but, even just once, show me you did.
Damn, amazing how easy it is to get caught up in life, to where small things like that can be lost in translation.
Rant over.
Thank you VERY much for sharing what is, actually,pretty accurate.
Maybe by meeting others in the same position, we can get catharsis, and, eventually, healing.
17:56 Satsuki is also venting her own frustrations at Mei, she's had to look out for her sister to a far more emotional extent, including making food for her whole family, constantly babysitting Mei (while only being 10 years old) & doing her best to break bad news to her sister in a calm way but when Mei reacts like any 4 year old would, it's all just too much.
Yess...I wanted them to touch up on this. How satsuki is kind of like second parent to mei. She reminds me of my elder sister and brother who had to look out for me and my younger sister.
In Japan in the middle of the Showa period, it was normal for children to do housework. So Satsuki doesn't have any stress or complaints about that. This is one of the differences between Asia and Western countries, and you need to recognize that Totoro is a movie that reflects Japanese culture. It was a Japanese who made this movie. She yelled at Mei because she was also worried that her mother wouldn't come back. She is mature for her age, but her heart is still a small child who misses her mother.
@@user3040lili It was also normal in Austria a couple of generations ago. Espically in the county side. Only rich people could afford a nanny. Even me and my brother did a lot of housework when we were little (no cooking alone we only helped our mother) and I looked after our little brother at least in the afternoon from time to time when I was 10. And between middle school and high school me and my brother (who is 2 years younger) stayed at home in the evening/afternoon to watch our older sister. who is in the spectrum. (I was born in the 80s).
Yes I agree as a Japanese woman with a younger sister growing up
The dad in this film actually reminds me a lot of my grandfather. We were outdoorsy and imaginative kids, but he tried, as old as he was to be with us as we played. I actually remember him telling us how all the animals and plants had spirits and we had to show them kindness and respect. Maybe this was his way of getting the kids to not wreck the garden, but his approach sounded so magical and made so much sense to a kid. He was a very kind and gentle man.
My grandpa has always been a very kind and nice man, I still remember all the times we went with him and our step-grandma to their summer cottage and went fishing together, gathered random plants and sticks and stones in the forest, made paper airplanes, threw ball... So much fun! He made even washing potatoes to prepare them for lunch fun, somehow! :D
the dad is great, i always liked to think I could see my own dad in him but alas.....
@Joshua Hancock, are you sure we didn't have the same grandpa? My mom's dad was a farmer right up until his final stroke, even when he was living in the city and unable to really get around outdoors anymore. A "very kind and gentle man" is an excellent description of him.
🥺. I love it.
Or it was his belief system and he doesn't need it to be rationalized and simplified.
If he was a great guy, you can take him seriously.
One scene that stands out to me is the moment when the youngest girl leaves flowers along her fathers desk while he’s working - “You be the flower shop, Daddy.”
I was really touched because I realised that this had to be based on life, someone lived a moment like that. The authenticity of everyday life in these films is really striking.
Watching this as a parent, there are so many funny moments with especially May. "Welp, I'm gonna go run some errands!" is something I've heard from my own kid when she was little and pretending to do grown up stuff.
Watching this as a parent, there are so many funny moments with especially May. "Welp, I'm gonna go run some errands!" is something I've heard from my own kid when she was little and pretending to do grown up stuff.
I forget, but I learned about how this is somewhat unique to Ghibli--I think Miyazaki was somewhat insistent on including little... nothing moments? in his films. Like you'll see it in Spirited Away too, where Chihiro is just staring out at the field, thinking, or especially for any eating moment in the films. It creates a pause to reflect and feel human and relate. It's so simple and beautiful.
@@RhizanthellaSlateri Miyazaki insisted in telling stories taking inspiration from real life. I think is one of the many things he criticized about current anime/manga culture as well.
@@RhizanthellaSlateri Hey, it"s called "Ma" and it's those moments where you just reflect. It really is a relief from all those fast-paced movies nowadays.
Hayo Miyazaki’s (the cofounder of Studio Ghibli and co-writer of Tonari no Toronto) mother suffered from tuberculosis when he was 7 years old and she got hospitalized for a few years before being able to receive home care. His family had to nove to the countryside because of that (also because of WW2), so this is a very personal story for Miyazaki. He used his own child memories to write, draw and paint the characters, scenarios and backgrounds; and of course, his child feelings and fears about his own mother to create Satsuki and Mei with very accurate emotions.
That is really beautiful. 🥰
I did not know that before.
Thank you for that information.
Oh man, the feels. Makes more sense now
Oh dang I didn't know that
This makes the final scene where they see the mom okay and leave the corn all the more difficult. I feel like it's illustrating the last moment of hope they will experience around this scary situation.
He also said that he first wanted to make the siblings boys but changed it because it would have been to painful to see his own childhood on the screen.
Me: *crying because everything you guys are saying is hitting and making me rethink my most important relationships*
The video: *Rick rolls me*
for real😭
Oh thank god I’m not the only one crying…
wait-
what ?
update 3 minutes after commenting: FUCK
Sameee
watched this movie with my boyfriend a while back, and I remember him just being amazed by how this dad treats his daughters and him saying "that is the kind of dad I want to be". Just such a wonderful wholesome movie
He sounds like a keeper! ;)
💜
I now know what to watch when I am learning about a new date. Lol. Observing how one reacts to positive parenting. Although, that seems kind of manipulative, so I suppose I shouldn't. That was a good idea though.
@@lyn3325 I don't think that's manipulative. I think it's fair.
@@rahuldhargalkar to be honest, I think you guys are overthinking this, lol (not trying to be mean, though)
I would love to see an episode on Kiki's delivery service and burn out. It's one of my favorite ghibli movies and has the growth that Kiki goes through is so important
its my favorite Ghibli film too!
@@rubysmolen5155 Ooh yay! :D
@@rubysmolen5155 I have a service dog that I named Kiki. The name is almost always appropriately recognized by 10 year-olds we meet in the store.
Yes please, it’s my favourite too.
The Take has a video on this!!!
The scene where Mei has a tantrum because Mom isn't coming home is a revelatory one. Throughout the movie the focus has been on Mei, cute little rambunctious Mei, with her worrywart older sister trying hard to shepherd her. In this scene, we see all the weight Satsuki carries inside her. Mom might never come home, and Satsuki is very aware of how ill she is. She tries to shield her little sister from that while also shielding her father by being as good and responsible as she can be. This one little scene is when that weight becomes unbearable, just for a moment.
Yes, Satsuki is trying so hard, and I relate so much, with some of my childhood experiences.
Me and my sister have a similar age gap (7 years apart) and after conceiving my sister, and having her 2 months premie, my mother's health went extremely downhill. Growing up aware of all of it was deeply concerning for kid me, esp. Knowing we were considerably poor, not having a car until I was in 7th grade.
Totoro is a film i wish my family had when we were growing up. (For my sis, she did, but i wish i had it sooner) i think it would have made life a little easier for all of us
Satsuki is very much acting like a child would. She’s not perfect. She’s also just as stressed as Mei, maybe even more because she actually knows how serious things are, and Mei doesn’t understand yet. She’s scared and stressed and trying to protect everyone, and faced with her sister’s stress she doesn’t know what to do with all of it, so she lashes out. We don’t see this kind of *realistic* sibling fighting that often.
That's exactly what I took from this scene. You can really see that Satsuki is also upset that mum isn't coming home. She struggles with these emotions and the added aggravation of having a crying toddler makes her express it al as anger.
"Do you want her to die?" I almost felt the same frustrating anger and unfairness of the universe as Satsuki did in that moment. I just know it's this hot white anger in your head that blinds you and your logic, bursting out as sharp weaponized words, because you have no avenue, no target for that feeling. You want to hurt others to make them feel as hurt as you do, you want them to realize and feel the same, to share the burden, but in the worst way possible.
Alan, you are spot on when talking about the magical moments a dad can provide for his kids that will stick with them!
When I was seven my Dad super supported my belief in Elves & Leprechauns and we built a little wooden house for them with a detachable roof. I'm 29 now and lost the roof somewhere during the years, but I still have the house which is now used as a cat bed. I feel really loved and proud of my dad when I look at it or when people ask about it.
How adorable. 🧚♀️🧚♂️🧚♀️🏠
Especially the part about its new life as a cat bed. 🐈
Reminds me of what a friend said to her ex, when she encouraged him to do special things with the kids when he had them, his excuse is that they are too young and will forget it anyway... but she said they will still remember being HAPPY with their dad, and that will stick.
@@lucifang Yes, exactly. ^___^
Love how the dad in the movie is so great with his kids. ❤️💙❤️
Adorable. 🥰
I forgot to say earlier in here that cats are obviously part elf anyway. 🐈🧚♂️🧚♀️🐈
I always thought though that as the movie is meant for children AND adults, it's about being present with each other in general, and with the world around us - the trees, the flowers, nature, us experiencing life together and alone and telling stories about it, and talking about the stuff we don't understand because our perceptions as humans are limited to that - being human.
And that's what makes every movie by Hayao Miyazaki so beautiful to us ❤
"Slice of life" is a Japanese genre featuring this soft beauty that makes us ask "how is it not boring?" The entire series might be as simple as characters camping, or learning to fish, or making pottery. I really love it!
(If this genre also exists in American media, please excuse me, I am unfamiliar with any examples.)
Edit: More specifically the iyashikei (healing) slice of life Japanese genre of anime and manga, but genres are hard to define and agree on. Every story is unique, so it might be difficult to find a story that truly recreates the experience in Totoro.
I have a thing for "Slice of life". Just watching the small adventures of a kitten getting to know their environment can be surprisingly fun!
Slice of life can be found in America, but not often, especially when it comes to movies. Unless it's an independent film, it's not so much a thing in cinema here. There's also some shows that start off as slice of life and take a hard turn in the next season to adventure/gritty (I think that's because it makes it easier for the show to get green-lit if it's for kids). It's hard for me to think of examples myself.
@@InvdrDana I've seen it more in independent stuff, or a bit in documentaries, although the only example I remember watching as a kid that was remotely close, was This Is Daniel Cook, which followed a boy named Daniel on adventures he would go on. The episodes were named kind of as a subtitle, like, "This Is Daniel Cook At the Market" is one episode. It would be anything from crafts, to sports, to other things kids might do. Very short episodes, but it was interesting for the early elementary demographic, and had a sequel featuring a different lead character, but I had grown out of it at that point. I feel like Popular Mechanics for Kids and Mighty Machines were somewhat similar shows I watched as a kid, as they basically showed how different machines and devices worked, and followed the people who worked with them. But those are generally more seen as educational documentaries.
You named 3 examples that I have seen anime for or am about to. I love me a good healing slice of life anime
I am actually enjoying Slice of Life more and more.
8:50 think of it this way: if the kids prefer to disturb you than any other adult in the house, or would mess around you rather than play on their own, it's because they like you. Growing up they'll look back and think of these moments fondly.
Exactly! From time to time I have to remind myself of this.
What I find so fantastic about Totoro is that as whimsical as it is, there are very real emotions underpinning it, as well as a certain underlying seriousness. It’s a story about wonder and magical friendly creatures, but it’s also about two girls dealing as best as they can with the fact their mom is chronically ill. And the film is capable of making this balance between fantasy and reality without being heavy handed, or overly sentimental, and come out feeling so light and happy and beautiful.
I've read interpretations that frame TOTORO as a primer for helping children process death. It's significant that the film opens with the move to a house where Mom can recuperate, but closes with Mom still in the hospital.
Also the slight creepy alienness to the fantasy elements, and that it's a comfort but not a magical plot fix, means the whimsy doesn't feel patronizing or emotionally manipulative.
I love how the adults just…BELIEVE the children. They acknowledge that the spirits are real, and that only young children can see them. It’s so wholesome and affirming and sincere.❤
its also a very japense belief form, especially for the granny to believe it, since she likely "saw them when she was a girl" too
It becomes more emotional to watch when you realize this is autobiographical with Miyazaki being Mae and his brother being Satsuki. Their mom did die of TB, but the summer they moved to the country is what formed his deep attachment to nature and spirits. I really can't wait to see what you guys do with Encanto!
Good films but Miyazaki is kind of a jerk
It is spelled Mei and not Mae. You were close though.
haaaaa guess who s crying now XD
I literally screamed “WHAT?!” when I got the notification and scared my cat. 😂 You really be ticking all my favourite childhood movies.
did the EXACT same thing, i'm so pumpedddd
I was pleasantly surprised as Well.
how's your cat doing now? does it need therapy? 🤭
SAME
YES!!!
Because I grew up having all my emotions invalidated by my parents, I always make sure to react bubbly to what my nieces and students tell me...
future parents: when you invalidate your kid's emotions, they feel sad, frustrated and disappointed at you
THIS
I still remember how much my dad and brothers used to say I shouldn't be crying for whatever and that's probably why I still have issues with crying in front of (most) other people, even though I recently realized that crying with caring and supporting people often makes me feel much better.
@@stephaniemoura3214 I studied in a school that anyone who shed a single tear would be mocked for the rest of the day, til this day I think that crying is humiliating. So I do understand how you feel...
I had a happier childhood but had to re-learn expressing and especially receiving emotions. As I am a caretaker at a kindergarden, it is somewhat disheartening if a child looks surprised at you if you take them serious and let them be children.
@@astrisperspecto4130 I happened to me too... one of my students was so shocked that she immediately turned to her friend and said "she said she believes in me!"
In defence of Satsuki - I don't think in that scene she's trying to 'correct' Mei per se, because that's not her attitude throughout the movie. She's generally very kind and understanding. But she's also just a child, who is also scared about her mother. And at that moment, she doesn't have anyone to turn to, as the father is at work. But she's the 'big sister', and yet again she's got Mei wanting something from her, but at that point, she can barely handle her own fears, let alone deal with Mei's too. It's too much to expect a child to continuously play the role of mother to her younger sibling.
Exactly, she has the need to be a firm stone for her younger sister, but she thinks that thinking rational will give her sister what she needs
This point is made in the 1964 film, Mary Poppins. Bert reveals to the children what their father, Mr. Banks, must be going through and that he has no one to turn to for emotional support. It was then that I realized that the main character of the movie was not Poppins or the kids, it was Mr. Banks.
And ironically, that's often the wrong thing. Acting fully stoic and hiding emotions when you're suffering the same things as someone else often just makes you look cold and uncaring, not strong and reliable. Having a calm shoulder to cry on can be useful, but when it's your sister who should also be missing mom in the hospital, crying together will probably be better than trying to hide all tears
when i showed this movie to my niece who’s in middle school the entire time she was stressed because it was too happy and she was sure someone in the family was gonna die later saying “look pixar traumatized me ok!?” We need more pure happiness movies like this
Oh yeah, first time I watched this I had the anxiety too.
Something i realize about being Asian and growing up in Asia is that we have a very casual relationship with the supernatural. In a way like ghosts, haunted places and spirits are just part of our daily lives. Whether you believe in it or not. I remember my lecturer in uni even used his home being haunted as an excuse for lack of sleep and being late from class - there are many stories like these. It's funny, it's charming and it's just culture. i lav it.
I think it's a beautiful thing. It makes life more mysterious and interesting. Life is more than just what we see :)
So it is in Latin America. I grew up with ghosts and the dead, ancestors, African nature entities/gods (brought to Brazil by people who were enslaved), catholic saints (my family is italian) , indigenous forest spirits. I live in the Netherlands, and I am so sorry that my son is missing that. It is such an enriching experience to your soul to feel this spiritual connection with nature, family and the unknown!
and supernatural stuffs are not always evil like here
You guys waiting for your lecturer: damn, wonder where the teacher is?
Your teacher, the previous night: istg these ghosts, man.
@@gborsonello you are totally right, i grew up hearing stories that my family would occasionally tell me, principally werewolves and ghosts
I grew up in an emotionally neglectful family, so I always get choked up at those early scenes with the parents because, wow...there _are_ parents like that.
YES! I was amazed when I saw families like this in real life. Wanted to know, HOW DO YOU DO IT? How can I get that? Always afraid to ask, out of fear.
I lost my mother in November 2021, and I can relate so much to the scene where Mei is just screaming, "IT'S NOT FAIR!". I just wanted her to be able to come home one more time, so we could make cookies and watch an anime and just be close together one more time, but she never got to leave the hospital. I still have a raging child inside me that wants to scream about how unfair it all is.
I can relate I lost my mom in January 2021 and she never got to leave the hospital. It does still feel unfair that I couldn't have one more moment with her at home.
I'd like to point out that Satsuki's yelling? That wasn't pure rational either. Mei was expressing pain in the only way she as a very young child knew how, but Satsuki's shouting was definitely her breaking under the strain of having to be strong for her sister. Mei wanted to be told everything would be alright, but Satsuki knew that might not be the case. Nobody was there to hold her, and it wasn't fair that she had to be the one to give that strength she didn't actually have in the moment either. It wasn't cruelty, or really even wanting Mei to change her behavior, because it wasn't about Mei. It's just pain and frustration.
I was looking for this comment. Thanks for saying it because I felt that was majorly overlooked. That wasn't an adult "scolding" Mei, it was another child who feels helpless buckling under the pressure of being a pseudo-mother.
I was so looking for this comment as well… Let’s not forget that the big children and adolescents are those who need just as much hugging but often don’t get it because they mostly act angry. But angry is just a hide out for sadness…
This. Satsuki has noticed - same as Mei - that their mum's disease wasn't progressing the right way and being the older child, she was able to understand that some people just don't get better. And while she was starting to dread their mum could actually die, Mei gets grumpy about missing a weekend? That's too much stress to handle for just a girl.
Thanks for mentioning this. I got that from Satsuki too. She was a surrogate parent to Mei there and she didn’t have the tools or experience for that and it would be unfair to expect that of her.
Exactly!!!! Not only was it frustration over having to care for her little sister, but I think Statsuki saw herself in Mei. I interpreted it as Satsuki talking to herself in her head-- she was probably really sad and angry that her mom wouldn't be home too, but was trying to reel it in. Shouting at Mei can be seen as Satsuki shouting at herself for feeling "petty" emotions. And what was also really important is how Mei sees Satsuki crying about it later, because she's able to see how scared her sister is too, even if she scolds her. It's validation for Mei, because she can realize she's not alone in those feelings.
My partner and I have gotten into the habit of saying “Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?” when the other is frustrated or upset. It helps avoid a lot of confrontation when it comes to feeling unsupported or getting unsolicited advice.
This sort of thing is a great habit. One of my oldest friends says "I need the bubble" which means that in the following story she is 100% right and I'm 100% in her corner with no judgement or criticism. Everybody else is a bastard in that story!
But then, once it's told, usually the bubble is popped and we talk about solutions. Usually, not always. Sometimes you need your friends to call you on your BS - but other times you just need them to be ride or die.
Yeah my best friend and I just started making sure to add that to our conversations because I am super solution oriented and it's hard for me to realize it when she just needs to vent, she doesn't need me to find answers or advice for her. So recently I've been unintentionally making her feel worse when she comes to me because I don't know how to help, I don't have the answers regarding emotional matters so I had been pointing her to her therapist whenever she tried to talk to me. I didn't realize for a while that all she needed was for me to listen. So we managed to talk about it, and we're going to do better from now on.
This! Trying to explain this to the people in my life so we can communicate better.
Man, if Alan's tearing up for one of the most wholesome movies to ever exist, I can't imagine how he reacted/would react to Grave of the Fireflies. Studio Ghibli had no chill for that one. Also, I can't help but wonder what Jonathan's thoughts would be about the protagonist for that film, about his choices as a young teen, his parentified dynamic with his sister, how children process trauma, -really just about any element of that film. That'll definitely get the water works flowing.
They will both be weeping, I know I did. It's been over 10 years since I've seen that film, and it still hurts to remember it.
They and we all will be drowning in our tears❣️
Grave of the Fireflies came out at the same time as Totoro, and they were shown as a double feature. Imagine going from one movie to the other. I just have to hear the music from the movie and I am crying.
I just lost my mother this year, I would not dare to watch Grave of Fireflies for the next three years. 😭😭😭
I watched Grave of the Fireflies once... and I just can't watch it again. It was too heart wrenching.
“She’s so mean!” Literally exactly my younger brother and I growing up, throughout the entire movie we kept just saying “Look it’s you!”
I totally get that what Satsuki said to Mei, when she was screaming "That's unfair" is so wrong, but I get her so much.
As a big sister myself it was sometimes very hard to see my little sister being a child and being allowed to have her strong emotional reactions, and cry and scream and make unreasonable demands and getting what she wants, while I had to learn to make space for that and make myself "less of a burden" to my parents. And sometimes that wants to make you tell your little siblings to "grow up" cause that's what you had to do
And while I'm typing all this I realize that this is something I should probably talk to my therapist about, damn...
Went through the same thing... You are valid, and I totally get how you feel. "Making space" for younger siblings is unfair and in a lot of cases harmful for the older sibling, but the worst thing is that you're left feeling bitter over things that happened long ago, without anyone to direct these feelings to! Your little sibling can't really be blamed for being a more difficult kid, especially if they've since grown up and changed for the better! But I just want to let you know i completely understand! We older siblings must support each other somehow!
I'm a little sister, and I sometimes got shut down by my big sister just for voicing my thoughts out loud (as an unfiltered and demanding 6 y/o at the time ofc lol). We're adults now, and a few years ago I was going through some difficulties in my life, and I found myself letting out my emotions to my sister and admitting that despite having a lot of support from friends and family, I still felt depressed and lost. Her final response at the time was somewhere along the lines of "fine, be that way if you're not going to get better," invaliding my feelings and causing me to withdraw my emotions even more. Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised if she was somewhat bitter towards me because my parents let me attend the college I wanted to go to and they didn't let her, among other things that younger siblings tend to have more access to than their older ones.
Flash forward to today. We've learned some things, learned that it's okay to have feelings, realized we both been pretty unreasonable with each other in the past, and over time we've gradually managed to talk about our issues more healthily and openly. It took a lot of forgiveness and healing, but we're closer now than we were as kids, and we have each other's backs.
This movie was so important to me as a child. I was almost EXACTLY in the same situation as this family. Older sister, mom chronically ill, dad working long hours. I felt seen. I felt hope. I love this movie with all my heart.
I have watched this movie only recently for the first time as a 30+ yo woman. It made me cry, because I had been 9, and my sister had been 5 when my mom got cancer and eventually, she had to go to a hospital to never come back. Except my dad was not like this at all... The dad in the movie almost seems like as much of a fantasy as Totoro to me...! Beautiful story, wonderful people!
One thing I really like about Totoro, from a "children's story" perspective: none of the fantastical "monsters" are mean, scary, or threatening toward the characters. On the contrary, all of the creatures are friendly, fun, and helpful. The vast majority of stories and films for kids are written by adults to be entertaining, and so they often put the main characters in peril and danger, which can be pretty upsetting if you're an imaginative kid envisioning yourself in the scenario. However, in Totoro, the grinning Catbus is friendly and happy to help them, and the big, hairy "Totoros" are fun and playful. Compare this to Alice in Wonderland, where the Cheshire Cat thinks it's funny when Alice is confused and upset, and "Where the Wild Things Are," where Max is in danger of being eaten by the monsters if they find out he's a human.
And while those books are classics and great in their own right, from a lot of children's stories and media, it's no wonder so many kids gain a fear of the dark or "monsters under the bed." Friendly monsters and cheerful stories are comparatively few and far between.
I really appreciate that My Neighbor Totoro makes this fantastical adventure fun _for the characters themselves_ rather than just the viewer.
100% agreed. I mean the creator COULD have made it scary, just chang the vibe. But the vibe and energy in this movie is plain positive and cozy and natural ❤️ i, to this day, also want a nap on Tototos fluffy tummy 😋
I agree too! Funny enough for me is Monsters Inc. It started with monsters scaring kids but now make kids laugh and have fun; I mean it is for energy purposes but I feel that movie falls somewhere in the middle with scary to friendly monsters.
This is a very nice observation. One of the parenting tactics coming from where I am from, parents always scare children into following their instructions or rules. “Don’t go there because there are ghost or monsters there.” Which was something my father absolutely hated. So he didn’t do that at all. He scared me some other way HAHAH. But yeah, as a child I grew up fearless if the dark and monsters and would watch horror movies til dawn cuz I absolutely loved it.
I agree with you 100%. I was a veeeery imaginative and sensitive child. Movies where parents died or people were unforgivable or one mistake lead to a downward spirale that you could not prevent, left me really anxious and upset. I cried a lot while and after I watched them.
I liked movies in which kindheartedness, forgiveness, acceptance and love were portraied. As long as the message was "We'll be fine no matter what because we are creative and caring enough to go through everything" I was on board and took a lot of confidence and reassurance out of it. Unfortunately those movies (and books) were seldom and I struggled for a long time to read books like "The Never Ending Story" because I couldn't handle even the acknowledgement of the mother's death in the first chapter
I am living in a house with children for the first time and I really feel this sentiment. This past Halloween, the youngest child (2 years old) was able to really participate for the first time. He loves all the different monsters! He loves how "scary" they are, but enjoys that by playing pretend, taking turns pretending to be scared of each monster OR proudly saying "I'm not scared!" By having monsters that are "fun scary" instead of "upsetting scary", even this 2 year old is able to learn how we choose to be scared OR not by "scary" things! I love it!
Wow. I cried multiple times during this. Thank you. It's nice to hear 2 men tearing up, talking about emotions and the patriarchy. Well done.
Matriarchy and patriarchy don't exist one without the other, un the sense of the original meanings of the words (not the bastardized versuons that are now a byword and used only contemptuously to dismiss older cultures in favor of more recent, uhm, politicized perspectives).
You could have worded that a little different, but I completely agree. There's something very sweet about two dads being wholesome and tearing up because of their love for their children
@@Shiroi0moi I don't exactly see what was off about my wording. I just mean that, amongst all of the Amdrew Tate talk of the world, it's nice to have a reminder of this type of masculinity, that's all :)
@@celinepope there's nothing really wrong, but "patriarchy" is usually a dog whistle used by mysandrists
@@celinepope "Alpha" masculinity is the unhealthiest type of maculinity there is. Not just to the men themselves, who'll end up bottling up their emotions which could lead to depression, anger, aggression, suicidal feelings and predatory sexual behavior. BUt also for the people around them (especially women) who will become victims of said aggression and potential predatory sexual behavior.
Speaking of Brian Regen: one of his "punchlines" was telling his kids, "Can't you see the paint on the wall is more important than the joy in your hearts?!" I think of that every time I get after my kids for something. Not that I want to let them destroy my house, but it helps me moderate my response and redirect without hurting anyone's feelings.
Have you geard of Montessori? I strongly recommend it and positive discipline for general communication advice. Its sooooo much more healthy than rewards and punishments too.
11:23 "It's just the kids are so much like real kids." Ohhh I'm gonna go on a long kinda nerdy spiel. Hayao Miyazaki is very observant of his environment and he would animate while thinking about how a person would fall, climb, or express themselves, taking time to pay attention to the littlest of things that might not seem like much but those things can show a lot about someone, it gives a sense that the characters are alive. The Studio Ghibli team under his direction puts so much time into the details too, like making sure they move in a way that gives you the sense of who they are. It reminds me how my theater coach told me "Do not put something in that does not have intention nor meaning." as in give life to every little detail to really give the nuance of the character you want to show and the environment they live in, and then the character gives life and meaning to the story because we grew to care just as we slowly start to care for a friend we made. We never know how's the story with that friend will end, but we continue because we care. And so, the kids are so much like real kids because he took his time to try to understand them, to really make something that would resonate with them, and personally I like how I would watch it and reminiscence that childhood wonder and curiosity. Hayao Miyazaki is kind of a grumpy man who at times is questionable, can't deny that and this same man made these movies for children as if to inspire them. Personally, I think all of this combined made Ghibli movies into movies that you didn't watch for the ending, but for the experience. To enjoy even the littlest of moment, to appreciate the beauty in life that we would often might miss, even if it's sad or happy, both of them deserved to be paid attention to.
Thanks to Alan and Jono for reacting to My Neighbor Totoro!! Been watching Cinema Therapy to cry along lol
And Studio Ghibli was my childhood and I love it every time I see someone who likes it too!
He was also quite friendly and often watched how the children of his employees acted. Spirited Away was made because he saw the daughter of one of this animators (I think) and decided he wanted to make a movie for little girls her age. A lot of the mannerisms of the adults in his movies are taken straight from his staff, too.
as an adult Kiki’s Delivery hits reaallly hard about finding independence, losing you creative spark and gaining your voice all over again. i adore that move when i’m feeling down! another lowkey gem is Whisper of The Heart which is about the artists journey and i also recommend Only Yesterday for a very self-reflective slice of life piece!
thanks for doing Ghibli movies! i adore them!
I also recommend Up on poppy hill and The cat returns (which is directly connected to Whisper of the heart). True gems all of them!
god yeah Kiki...
The older I get the more Kiki gets to me
@@tamashiranai1091 when she couldn't understand Jiji anymore i felt that
@@tamashiranai1091 Same. Not only that - but I feel like I continually gain a new or different perspective on it every year.
In most films, there are 'beats'.
Move from home, beat.
Find new friends, beat.
Start a new adventure, beat.
In 'Kiki', the film ends between beats!
She is making new friends, but is having trouble relating to her own feelings.
The future of her delivery service in in doubt: she can't fly like she used to.
She is mid-stride at the ending credits!
Just like life, no clear start or end.
Damn, the moment satsuki asked her grandma what she should do if ever her mom died got me 😭 it’s like that shell she kept herself protected with just broke down at that moment, and she just started crying.
It's a beautifully-animated scene. But it's a little weird to hear the voice of Ursula the Sea Witch trying to console Satsuki.
yeah. When older siblings are always taking charge of things and parenting the younger siblings it can be difficult to remember that there's still just a kid behind that seemingly adult and mature facade, and they still need love and comfort too, especially during hard times like that
In fact, this scene was added later.
Producer Suzuki said to Miyazaki, "Satsuki is too mature. If she continues like this, she will become mentally ill because she can't show her weakness to others."
At first, Miyazaki disagreed with this opinion, but he retracted it the next day.
He then added a scene in which Satsuki cries because she cannot bear the fear that her mother might die.
19:42 what I see in this scene is Mei trying to comfort Satsuki. She sees her cry and and beeing scared about their moms health and decides to take action by bringing their mom the fresh corn to make her better faster (like they talked about just before the phonecall). And in making their mom better she sees the only way to help her older sister!
That's one of wonderful thought..
That's exactly as I perceive this. Mei steps up and into action.
Came to the comments to say the same thing haha
This kind of calming, conflict-less, slice of life style of media is a whole genre in Japan! It's called iyashikei, and it translates as "healing".
And the whole world could use more of this attitude in dealing with each other; diplomacy, empathy, and the like might not be especially exciting, but they're nothing to scoff at.
You realize the kids in the movie die, right? It's about acceptance and moving on, which I guess is healing in a way. Not exactly conflict-less, though.
@@jamespryor5967 What!?!What do you mean they died? I haven't seen the movie, but it seems like nobody die.
@@arianaalejandro4005 The children die and the spirits help them see their parents one last time before moving on to the afterlife. It's a kids movie, so it's mostly implied, but pretty clear.
@@jamespryor5967 lol, no it's not. People have tried to push some sinister theories but Miyazaki has denied them. You can even see how their mom gets home and them getting a new sibling in the end credits.
When y'all say it's "this close to creepy" it's meant that way. Spirits can be both protectors and destroyers. Spirits that live in the border between the natural world and the human world often end up being more like protectors, and we see the big tree having been decorated with the circle of zigzag papers and that means a spirit lives there. Totoro and his group could be devastating, but they are the protectors of this little village instead, so long as they are respected, which the dad encourages the daughters to do by greeting the spirit properly :)
Oh! Haha just commented about the Shintoist "shide" decorations on the tree after Jonathan's comment on some Eastern symbolism in that scene, that they never really expanded on! Great comment!
According to Shinto a spirit leaves in every tree, rock, river... every piece of nature, that one being surrounded by Shide would be especially respected though. Japanese foresters still to this day have a big ceremony before they cut down trees to ask the spirits permission and give them a chance to essentially vacate their homes. All of Studio Ghibli's works have a very strong Shino thread in them.
I saw that too and it reminds me of the ones I saw in Bali too.
Yes, in Japanese folklore many spirits or youkai are ambiguous when it comes to being good or evil.
Yeah princess mononoke represents the destructive side of spirits
I think it's less that the dad was 'playing along' but that he's deep in the lore of Shinto spirituality. Regardless, his method of keeping the girls moving and explaining things is definitely meant to foster their imaginations and make them feel heard.
Makes me think of my dad and how he went to explore with us when we were younger. I don’t remember half the things I believed in but I know some of it was his ideas, he had a very vivid imagination
Fun fact: the mother's illness is heavily implied in ancillary material (and Miyazaki's own life story) to be tuberculosis, which would explain why she's been in the hospital for so long and makes Satsuki's fear she might die seem much more realistic.
I always assumed she had TBC and was recovering in sanatorium.
one an aside note: I also read some outlandish theories that the mom is dead, and the trip with the cat bus means the girls die as well, obviously those people never watched the end credits where it show them having a baby brother.
And just don't start me on the reactions to the bathing scene .... :/
@@remko2 I always assumed that was a random baby from their village, but either way I don't buy that the mom or the girls "actually" die. That's just people being needlessly edgy.
The movie takes place in the 1950's, when effective antibiotic treatment for TBC had just recently become a reality. Of course, it existing in one part of the world doesn't mean it would get to Japan in any sort of timely manner, and an extended hospital stay would probably be called for in any case.
The bath scene is honestly one of my favorite parts of the movie. It's an adorable family moment; the fact that they're naked doesn't mean anything remotely sexual or harmful is happening. Honestly, I think we North Americans would be a lot healthier if we got more comfortable with casual nudity.
(Also: those bathtubs are deep; a child Mei's age should absolutely not use one unsupervised.)
@@Truzyxx Apparently Miyazaki insisted that the main characters had to be little girls because the story would have hit too close to home for him if they were boys what with Miyazaki being the second eldest of four sons and his mother's spinal tuberculosis.
I just thought she was pregnant and was staying due to complications. I thought satsukis reaction was valid cause when I was a kid, an abnormally long 3 hour doctor visit for my baby sister put an irrational fear in me that she was going to die. It was so late the receptionist played a new movie on the lobby vcr which I thought was weird since those places never catered to just some kids waiting.
😭😂🙆♀️ I felt like the mom when I was in the hospital recovering from pneumonia (husband and 2 children at home)
I think when dealing with children it's also important to think about their time scale. When you're 5, a year is 1/5 of your entire experience. It would be the equivalent of 6 years for someone who is 30 years old.
So when her mom can't make it, May has been waiting for what feels like months even a whole year to her. Then suddenly she's too sick to come. Even as an adult you might feel a little selfishly betrayed underneath the inevitable feelings of disappointment, but you know that selfishness isn't healthy or fair so you set it aside. For May this is her first time confronting those feelings. On a deep level she knows it's wrong to be mad at their mom, but she's unable to identify and separate that emotion so it gets mixed into what she expresses.
Hey, just want to point out that the Dad isnt "just playing along" with a childish fantasy...i mean, Shintoism is one-if not the- dominant religous framework in Japan, and its totally reasonable for the Dad to attribute the experience to an interaction with nature spirits. He doesnt have to be devout or superstitous to know about it, and utilize it as a explanation
True, even the ones who don't believe are still really familiar with it.
I was just about to write the exact same comment.
Many Japanese people, even if they aren’t completely into shintoism have some level of superstition. I mean there a still temples and shrines to gods of that religion where many people pray at and I wouldn’t be totally surprised if the dad has some of those superstitious and belief of spirits. Because that’s something Japanese people also largely believe in is spirits as someone who is Japanese and has lived there for years. It’s a great point and I understand how they could miss it since they may not be entirely knowledgeable about Japanese superstitions or religion but it’s a big point on explaining why the dad is maybe as curious and open to the idea of forest spirits.
Kind of like Ireland. You might not believe in Fair Folk, but you’re not tearing up a Mushroom Ring, even to make a highway.
I was coming to say this exact thing too. For example they do not bow to the tree for "play". They bow because it's a yorishiro, a thing capable of housing a kami (the rope tied around it clearly marks it as one), and Totoro is quite obviously a nature spirit, in other words a type of kami.
Mei wasn't running away from her sister or her problems. She saw her sister cry and worry that her mom really might die. Mei had this look of determination and put the pieces together: mommy might die + my corn will make her feel better = I'd better take this corn to mommy. And that is what she attempted to do before she got lost. It's actually quite logical, even kid-logical.
Totally agree.
She was looking to Satsuki before she did it, & she saw Satsuki- who has always had to act as an adult & keep everything together as the oldest child- she saw Satsuki breaking down (which is natural coz she’s still a child), and she figured now it’s my turn… My corn will save mom.
Totally kid-logical as you said.
I’m a full grown adult and I cry at this film at the strangest moments. It’s so innocent, pure and wholesome and I think our world just needs more of that.
Especially NOW where everyone is tense, angry, anxious, etc.
I've been alone 23/7 for almost 2 years now and my psychiatrist doesn't get why my anti anxiety meds don't are enough anymore?
Unable to work, huge dental issues, operations, weight loss to a BMI almost adequate for admittance and tube feedibg, guilt, etc.
I couldn't even visit my parents out of fear to infect them (and the first hard lockdown for months) ( densly populated city - 2 mio- vs 9k town)
All 3 of us highest risk group ...
So people wonder why even relatively "healthy" people's mental health declines ?
Well imagine you had 5 mental and 6 physical illnesses before the first lockdown.
We now passed the 4 th hard one.
Some areas of the country are still in the hard lockdown up until 17 th or 20 th ?
Rules change daily but after 10 am tomorrow I won't notice any of it bevor of my OP and my trusty anaestheiologist. Thank medicine for Midazolam or I would have a literall heart attack on the seat. Heart rate 150 even with heavy sedation...
Same to be honest 😭💗 the wholesomeness hits me square in the feels
Yes, I found myself crying during scenes that are so wholesome, joyful, beautiful or calm. I don't know if I am alright, so sensitive, I have no control 😅
I relate to this very hard
@@janedoex1398 hugs to you, the whole covid experience has been incredibly challenging for so many of us. These days, I like to remind myself of the lotus flower-- it emerges from the mud and muck, unique and beautiful. Plant those roots and hold on, it just takes time & perseverance.
I'm diagnosed and treated for anxiety, depression, and ADD. Along with medication, Yoga & meditation really help to calm my mind, as does cognitive behavioral therapy.
Hang in there, friend. 🤗
Their mom had tuberculosis. Satsuki has had to go through this before. She feels like she's in charge of Mei, due to her dad always working and trying to make sure everything is great at home. Dad moved them out to the countryside for all of their health and less stress. Mei is too young to comprehend everything as a whole. All she knows, is that she's lonely and wants her mom and a friend.
I really think that reacting to Wolf Children would make more an excellent therapist reacts video, it covers so many relevant topics when looking at the relationships between people. There's navigating raising children as a single parent, dealing with the loss of a loved one, the difficulties and rewards of childrearing, preparing your children for life, relationships between siblings, relationships between children and their peers, how children explore their identity. I've been watching your content for sometime and really enjoy whenever you give anime films recognition for the effort they make to show believable human interactions.
Oh my gosh YES Wolf Children is extremely good. Inspired me to (hopefully) become a mother someday. Lots of great scenes about being a single parent, having to keep a secret from your community, how children’s interests and personalities change with life experience, etc.
I second this!! Please react to Wolf Children, it's a really emotional and powerful movie. It includes a lot of family dynamics that can be explored. Yes, it will definitely bring the waterworks, but it's a really good movie.
This would be great.
Wolf children is on my top 10 list ugh. The gardening and house montage reminds me of my childhood. Fixing up a craphouse and gardening
Oh, wolf children, wow! Talk about a story and a movie. WOW!
Jon, Alan, thank you for being examples of non-toxic masculinity and dadhood. I appreciate you both.
"It's just an expression of pain." The hardest part for me is keeping straight exactly when I need to validate the feelings my children in empathy and love and when I need to say, "that's enough." For example, every night at bedtime I sing to my children, and my daughter will always ask for one more song when I'm done, if she had her way I would literally sing for two hours after her bedtime, and she's really just procrastinating bedtime. At the same time, I want her to have all the songs and hugs and kisses. And in that particular case I've seen it enough nights that it's really obvious, but other times I have to stop and think to myself, "Does my daughter need more love and attention right now, or in spite of what she wants is it time for me to work? Is my son trying to talk to me during dinner because he's sharing his day and his feelings, or is he just trying to distract me from the fact that he's not eating his broccoli?" Both of those things happen, and the hard part, at least for me, isn't knowing that I need to pay attention to them and their feelings, but knowing when they're gaming the system (because they're totally smart enough to do that) and when they truly need me. And sometimes, even when I'm not tired or distracted, when I'm really trying to do my best, I can't say for sure and I have to guess a little bit, and sometimes I get it wrong.
Jacob, the fact that you're even conscious of this means that you're already a GREAT parent! And that's including maybe getting it wrong sometimes. Because no human is perfect. Which means no Parent is perfect. Because we all make mistakes. But you're Conscious and Present and Continuously Improving. So, I'm REALLY glad that your kids have someone like you as their Dad! Keep up the great work Jacob!
Same. But I'm pretty sure it's ok to not get it right. I have "rules" for bedtime, 2 books and a song. Kids like routines. It actually makes them feel safe, knowing what's happening. Draw a picture of the bedtime "rules." Have your kid decorate it. But in reality, be flexible. I'm a teacher too, and I actively teach my students the word flexible, saying that we have a routine for classwork or our daily schedule, but sometimes life happens and we have to be ok with change. And I would trust your gut. If it looks like they're just messing with you, point to the schedule, give them a kiss and say goodnight.
@@harvestmoon_autumnsky Whoah! I'm really impressed by your teaching around "flexibility"... 😳
I remember that we as kids were REALLY conscious of rules as a structure for life and the concept of "sometimes there are exceptions & that's ok" feels like a really hard one... even sometimes as an adult, tbh!! 🤭 It seems like it'd be hard to achieve that flexibility without triggering the super-sensitive child reflexes around "rules don't count" or "not fair!!"
Kudos to your pedagogical skills, that's a great foundational concept for your classes to grasp!
I deal with stuff in this genre with my students sometimes, and what I often do when I’m not sure is just ask them flat out (but like with a kind of loving teasing energy, cos like I’ve been there as a kid and done stuff). At first I was surprised by how honest they were, both for when they are trying to pull a fast one and when they need more care/support/attention, and I think with the loving teasing energy behind it, that does a combo move of I care about you/this is not a big deal/let’s be real about it tho. Don’t know how this plays out with diff stages of development tho, I work with middle and high schoolers. In general tho I’m pretty transparent with them, like the person mentioned above in their way, cos kids are super observant and do already have a read on you a lot of the time, so I just bring them into the process (but still lead it).
But I think May's "its not fair" is that it isn't fair that her mother is sick. But as a big sister its unfair that she has to manage the emotions of a child when she is also a child.
I think it's true on both: she was waiting for her mother, and then she suddently can't come. Acknowledging the unfairness of a disease is rare for a kid that age, byt nevertheless heart wrenching. She just wanted her mum back; family is the kids' whole world.
Yeah the older kid's just slowly learning about adulting and responsibility herself, but feels pushed into being fully responsible and rational all the time by having her younger sister follow her around everywhere.
@@crios8307 well the part where she her mom was just heart breaking man its too much man and you can correct me if im wrong since i suffer from memory lost unfortunately so i may say the wrong stuff.
Big sister is also probably feeling a lot of the same things as Mei but feels like she can't express that in the face of her little sister feeling it.
Whenever I said, "It's not fair" my dads go-to answer was "Yea, well life's not fair. Deal with it."
The scene where they thank the big tree is clearly showing Shinto sensibilities, and the decorated rope wrapping it is a thing in real life that signals that a natural element is to be protected because it's sacred/inhabited by important spirits.
I was gonna comment on that, in glad someone already did.
I love that Alan cries out of joy so easily. My dad and I are the same way and it is one of my favorite and least favorite things that I've inherited. Shows such a sweet side in a person, though!
One of my favourite movies, it hits even harder if you have been separated from your parent due to a illness they were going through when you were growing up.
Ooh yeah. My mum died when I was 12. She spent weeks in the hospital. That "will she get better/will she be herself/will she ever come home?" was one of the hardest bits.
Jep i cried through the movie. My dad Was in hospital for most of my puberty and all the totoro scenes remembered me of the times where i Wandered around, pretending to be in other worlds, just not mine
Yes. My mum spent a lot of time in the hospital when i grew up and I also have a little sister, so I tried my best to support her through the hard times. I used to make a "pillow mum" out of one of my mums t-shirts and a pillow for her and read the same children storie every night I could.
Our age- gap isn't that big, but I really hope she felt like I was a good big sister that she could lean on.
Agreed. It was the reverse for me - I was the one alone in the hospital - but it was just as painful to watch my parents struggle to process their emotions as I suffered and struggled. Chronic/terminal illness can be like a wrecking ball to families and that's why MNT is so satisfying and comforting.
One of the best part of movies like this and Kiki’s delivery service is the care the characters parents show to them. It’s beautiful and something I carry with me today in my every day as a parent. Empathy, love, compassion for our children is just as important as us showing it to other adults. Kids deserve respect and affirmation of their own feelings like we would want for ourselves.
Yeah. These kind of movies or shows are a time of peace, warmth and heart for me. As if everything is good. And they taught me which kind of adult I want to be: Empathic, kind, patient and understanding.
The adults if the town in Castle in the Sky are like that too. These movies definitely helped me to be a better parent.
no shame in watching in dubbed too, sometimes folks can't quite fully get the emotion when they don't understand the language, hard to explain. Me personally I like to listen while I work so I need dubs more often than subs (thankfully i've been fortunate with good dubs)
I find I can get more emotion from the original language as most dubs just sound silly to me. There are a few good ones but sometimes it feels so exaggerated haha. It is nice to listen to when working tho
I'm a slow reader so if I watch subs I'll be pausing it every 2 seconds and I have trouble understanding what is going on
@@annachia5278 like I said, I must have been lucky to find good dubs XD
I have a hard time concentrating to watch something in English (my native language) let alone watch a whole anime reading the whole time. I watch the dub because practically I can't watch the sub. Frankly I'm tried of people gatekeeping anime by saying you can't watch anime if you don't watch the sub.
They put alot of thought in the voice actors for dubbing of all the Studio Ghibli characters. The children's characterzations are perfect for English speaking children. My son has grown up with all of them: Ponyo, Princess Mononoke & Little bamboo, ect.
When my ex and I first divorced, I discovered My Neighbor Totoro and introduced my kiddos to him. My children were 2 and 5, much like the girls in the movie. Totoro showed us that even when life is not "normal" we can be ok. And it showed me how I could be a better Mom. This movie was a balm to my spirit and my kids developed a love for all things Studio Ghibli, even now, 10 years later! 🥰
I lost my grandfather this week, and seeing Mae's reactions in this film really hit me. I feel the way she does, and it's true that we all have the same emotions no matter our age. All we can do is learn new coping mechanisms.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/AGNEZ 💜 MAKE ME YOUR S*X SLAVE
TH-cam: This is fine
Someone: Says "help"
TH-cam: BE GONE
History : deleted
Phone : yeeted
Body :heated
Holy water : needed
#Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾
#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤
I am very sorry - maybe you can remember something awesome you and your grandfather did together and imagine a hug from me? Being sad about this is okay. Maybe it helps to remember something awesome you shared?
sending you love!! I lost a loved one three years ago, and it's not easy, but I think it's important to remember that your grandfather's love for you is never gone :)
I'm sorry you're going through this. sending you lots of love. take care of yourself, let your loved ones support you. grief doesnt have to be all horrible, grief is full of so much love and light. i know you most likely dont need advice, anything i could say you probably have already heard before so i just want you to know that you are so lucky to have had a wonderful grandfather.
Everything people above me said except for the bot, I second that,
but also, the name's spelled "Mei"
The cat/spider bus is actually amazing. I think it’s at the razors edge of the cute/uncanny valley line. It’s impressive how cute it is without crossing that line even though it’s so close.
The kids' voice acting in this is so good, and so real. When the kids cry I find myself tearing up and wanting to hug them.
And Tim Daly gives a great performance as the dad. Literally the guy who played Superman... Imagine this being Clark's life if he settled.
me too i felt myself tearing up
It's so good because they were little kids when they did it!
@@osmanyousif7849 Go watch Superman and Lois, that's basically the premise, moving to the country with Lois and his two boys.
This movie means so much to me. I saw it when I was in Japan. I had just gotten word that one of my friends back home had passed away from cancer, and my friends in Japan sat with me to watch this movie together, and even though it was raw (no dub, no sub), it was a gentle hug in movie form.
The reason why he's called Totoro is because saying "troll" in Japanese would be "to-ro-ru" and Mei, being so little, fumbled it a little into "Totoro"
❤️
That’s so adorable. I love these movies so much
@@dumpsterDeity not disproving that, just saying that the in-universe reason for him being called Totoro is that, especially since there’s that scene of Satsuki questioning “Totoro? You mean a troll?” And in the credits you can see the girls with their nom reading a story book with a ‘troll’ under a bridge with a big mouth like Totoro
Has anyone else read the book that Miyazaki Hayao wrote in 1980 that is the original concept for the Princess Mononoke story before the animation came out? The original character of Mononoke Hime looks quite a bit like Satsuki and the “mononoke” spirit in the story looks very similar to Totoro and rides a top. Pretty interesting stuff.
@@michivallieres8334 Hayao Miyazaki had the idea of Totoro from around 1970. Some people say Princess Mononoke is another side of Totoro. The combination of gods (great spirits) and girls are one of his favourite concepts. So I believe Totoro and Princess Mononoke came from the same place. Totoro is one of the "great spirits" and mononokes in Princess Mononoke are also great spirits (Kami in Japanese), so Totoro and Princess Mononoke so when Hayao Miyazaki draw the "image board" of Princess Mononoke, his imagination started from something looks like Totoro, I guess. Sorry my English is poor so not sure if I explained well.
I am autistic, I struggle a lot with expressing my emotions, I often don't even understand what I'm feeling myself and the whole 'past the behavior to the emotions' makes so much sense to me, yes I'm crying but I'm not sad, I'm overwhelmed. telling me to stop crying won't help, turning off the tv and the lights so I'm not overstimulated anymore will.
A lot of people don't understand that, but it's very hard for me to explain because I really understand what I'm going through most of the time. this explained so much to me, thank you.
I know how you feel...
I am bipolar and I empathize with this as well.
I'm not autistic, but I get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily, which can cause me to become angry or cry.
I don't know if it would work for you, but in my case I have had to practice identifying my feelings step-by-step in the moment, like "Crying. Why crying? Because I'm overwhelmed. Why overwhelmed? Because it's too much. What is too much? All of these noises."
And then I can make an exit plan and more succintly let other people know what's happening. Like, "It's loud here, so I'm upset."
This movie means a lot to me and my sister's. I was about Mei's age when my mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had 4 older siblings the oldest,my sister being 16 and a baby sister who was around one at the time ( so 6 kids). Dad was always working, sometimes 2 jobs to provide for us and mom was very sick ( she went through radiation treatment for the cancer as well as having her thyroid removed and we couldn't get near her, I have memories of a child gate and mom in bed and me telling her from the other side of that gate how my day went) so it was up to my siblings, and other family, mainly our oldest sister to take care of us and stepped in to the mom role even though she was still a child herself.
This movie holds a spot in our hearts( me, my oldest sister and youngest sister) because this is what it means to us to be a family, to be sisters and all three of us still cry with this movie to this day.
And big sis if you see this comment cause I KNOW you will watch this video, I want you to know how much I love you and am thankful to have you as my big sister.
I love our other sisters and brothers but your my favorite...don't tell the youngest that lol 😋.
My husband and I both love ghibli and specially Totoro (our wifi is named Totoros neighbors). We actually watched it with our newborn the night we brought him home from the hospital at 3 days old.
However we haven't really watched it from a parents perspective, or as an example for good relationship between parents and children. Thank you for helping me realize that it's not cute and cuddly Totoro or sweet Mei, but gentle, understanding Tatsuo who makes this movie feel like a warm hug.
Thanks for sharing your story. 😊
Oh my, have you already thought about reacting to Lilo & Stitch? I guess you get movie orders all the time, but I feel like this is one of Disney's best and it has a very interesting family background. Anyway, I am so happy you're reacting to a Ghibli movie OMG!!! Love My Neighbor Totoro 😭❤️
And Lilo is a great child character. Just like May in "Totoro", she's weird, irrational, intensely emotional, exactly like a 6 year old.
My favorite part about her is so subtle. In the beginning she's late to dance because she needs to feed Pudge the Fish a peanutbutter sandwich, because she believes that Pudge controls the weather. Her parents died because of a storm. She's both trying to make sense of a chaotic world, but also concerned about such a thing happening again or to anyone else.
My Neighbor Totoro is a great example of how children of a certain age, sometimes, don’t know how to articulate their feelings. As we grow older, we’re learning how to process and understand them, but it’s not an over-and-done thing. We’re always feeling something.
Honestly I relate to Mei a lot when she's like "IT'S NOT FAIR". Due to the pandemic I've had to cancel a bunch of things and like...I do that because it's the responsible thing to do, but I'm still upset about it! That's just what you feel when you have to choose between two options that both suck.
I dunno why I cry at your comment , Covid fatigue sucks. Off to find cat videos to cheer up.
@@tareginda it does suck, and I think it's healthy to admit how much it sucks. Cat videos are also always healthy.
I have tried to explain this to people who complain about staying put in Covid. Yes, I have mostly canceled a lot of plans, but I didn't do that because I wanted to. It has been the safe thing to do. But it's not been easy and even if I seem like I'm getting through it, that doesn't mean I haven't had some tough days
I actually always interpreted the scene when Mei runs away differently.
Satsuki has always been the strong one that Mei could rely on (even if there was conflict) and because of that Mei has no idea that really Satski feels the same way she does - terrified.
When Mei sees Satsuki break down and cry for the first time she realizes that her sister is in pain too.
I've always seen Mei running away as a response to seeing Satsuki sad, something she hasn't really seen before, and trying to do something for her.
She is running to take her corn to mum and heal her not strictly for herself, but for Satsuki. She obviously totally overestimates herself and what she can do. But overall I've always seen this part not as Mei running away from something, but towards something. Not avoidance, but taking action to help.
Obviously Mei isn't rationalizing this the way I am now, didn't think it through probably not even super consciously taking these steps - she's too young for that and she's acting on impulse. But I still always felt that this was her motivation.
I always saw it as when she saw Satsuki crying, and realized she was sad and hurting too, Mei took it upon herself to get that corn straight to mom so both her and Satsuki can be happy and mom will get well too, it's a win for everyone
i didn't grow up with this movie, in only saw it like maybe last year when i got netflix. however, i did grow up in a toxic household under controlling and emotionally abusive parents and this movie just somehow breaks my heart and heals it all at the same time... it is one of those movies that i keep re-watching and it makes me cry every time. the way Mei and Satsuki were loved by their parents and people around them and the way they were free to imagine, to run around make noise and talk loudly (like kids usually like to do)... it feels other worldly. i can't believe that people like their mom and dad exist in this world.
especially in the Japanese version, Mei has a very loud voice (oh i love her voice in the Japanese version). she likes to talk loudly and no adult ever told her to quiet down or lower her voice. i know it's a stupid thing to talk about but i used to have a loud voice as a child, i actually had trouble regulating the tone and loudness of my voice especially in excitement or after long periods of not talking (i realized this after growing up) and i was always scolded for being loud, even at my happiest moments. they always interrupted me when i was really really excitedly telling them something and scolded me to lower my voice... it used to kill me inside... like i was never important. and it didn't matter where we were and even if that place was completely fine for being loud, like i wasn't allowed to be loud even in the comfort of my own "home". but seeing Mei and Satsuki run around being loud always makes the little child inside of me so happy and giggly...
man i know how it feels😭 hope things are better for you now💔
Im so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you know that you do matter and you always did
I just wanted to say, thank you for crying on camera. So many men (and women) are afraid to let anyone see them cry or be vulnerable, myself included. Seeing another adult cry, particularly someone who is successful and has a family- I think it serves as a good example. It lets us know its okay to be vulnerable, its okay to cry. Its not something that you should be embarrassed or ashamed of. So thank you for being a good role model to people of all ages. :)
Also I LOVE Ghibli movies! Howl's Moving Castle and Kiki's Delivery Service are my favorites. I think there are some interesting metaphores in Kiki's that you guys would enjoy exploring from a psychological stand point.
Truth
If it's OK for people to cry publicly then it's also OK for people to cry privately.
I actually wrote a paper about Kiki’s Delivery Service and mindfulness! The fact that there was no external conflict, but that the sources of Kiki’s struggles were the result of burnout and self doubt are themes that are powerful even for adult viewers
I literally wrote two Ghibli papers, one about Spirited Away, and one about Ghibli in general, and yet I completely overlooked Kiki! I feel like such a dunce, it's my girlfriend's favourite Ghibli film.
Granted, the general Ghibli in general paper was more about relating things to events in japanese history, and I'd struggle to fit Kiki in there... but still!
Spirited Away was so much fun to write about, because Miyazaki really crammed a lot in there. A movie that is stand-alone fascinating, but secretly it's about economic collapse, the housing bubble, the lost decades, cultural identity, industrialization, the environment, and so much more!
Ghibli movies have so many rich, vibrant themes, the animations are so expressive, the colours so perfectly balanced, the music is always top-notch... A lot of the time if I analyze a movie, it becomes boring, but Ghibli movies only become more fascinating!
Wow..I'd like to hear about ghibli movies from both of you
I just wanted to thank you guys for making this video. My father has never been able to understand the thought process of a child and it made my childhood very difficult. Often he would judge my decisions to the standards of an adult and really reprimand me over it. Well today, my 7 year old nephew didn't listen to my father and almost put himself in danger, but my Dad noticed and prevented the tragedy. He was still really riled up by it and could not understand why my nephew couldn't just follow directions and it was so obvious that he could have gotten hurt. I used the words of Jonathan and said, "Well, Dad, that is thinking of an adult. His thought process is that of a child's." And for the first time in my life, I felt heard by my father in a situation like this. I felt his energy soften. It actually healed me just a little bit to talk to my father about my nephew. It almost made the pent up memories of my dad yelling at me seem a tiny bit less significant. So thank you.
One thing great about Hayao Miyazaki's films is how life-like the characters are. This is because Miyazaki watches people to study their habits, and then put them into his animations. Like how kids would behave in certain situations, small little habits a person would do, etc. - it's very true to life.
He also puts in things from his own experiences and childhood memories like in Spirited away when they pull out a bicycle from the river spirit, that's something he's actually done with his friends from an actual river.
As someone on the spectrum I’ve had a lot of success dealing with little kids and even animals because of something that is often treated like an issue by people who don’t want to be patient or flexible with me: I take words at face value almost all of the time.
It’s easy to be annoyed by kids who are fighting with each other over nothing or start accusing each other of things, but I’ve also found that taking their complaints at face value and building from there the same way you would if two adult friends were arguing. That level of respect validates them and allows them to move on from the stage of complaining where they insist you take them seriously as fast as possible.
Highly recommend trying it next time you deal with kids or pets that won’t leave you alone, they’ve always responded well to it when I need to.
I'm not autistic but I have a strong tendency toward being blunt and forthright, and I often act as if everyone else is too, even if they're not. For personal reasons, I don't have much patience for bs. And kids fucking love me. I literally can't get rid of them. It's been like this since I was a teenager and just keeps happening. Because when they talk to me, I respond totally normally. I adjust things like vocab and swearing to suit their age, but otherwise I don't change how I communicate. Someone says "my friend died" I say "that's really sad, I'm sorry that happened". Someone says "I want goldfish crackers" I say "Me too, but I don't have any, and if I did, I wouldn't give them to you." Someone says "i have a crush on a girl at school", I say "well ask her out. she's not going to know until you tell her." Then they give me this Look like two action heros might give to eachother at the climax of a movie, and I know, I've accidentally gained their trust. I do not recommend, you'll never get rid of the neighbor's kids otherwise. Great for babysitting though. It's much easier to chase down a comrade than an enemy.
As someone who is also on the spectrum, what they said about "kids not being able to handle emotions" really spoke to me. I feel that what a lot of people don't understand is that I'm not emotional or sensitive out of choice, it's the way my brain works. When I'm sad I want to cry and to isolate myself., when I'm happy I want to jump around and stim, and so on.
I think the same people who can't understand those in the spectrum are the ones who can't understand children and the way their emotions work
ASD here too, it's amazing how well kids respond to just being treated like people. I don't even really like kids for more than 10 minutes, but they stick to me like glue.
Can you give some examples on how you're pulling that off with animals other than people? Got really curious! I love this comment and the replies it's gotten. I wanna learn to be more like y'all so badly!
I want to save your comment so I can remind myself of how you respond and try to do the same. Thanks so much for sharing
Whenever my friends or family members are upset I always ask them, “Do you want solutions or comfort?” This helps me understand how I can help them advice or just a hug…
That’s a good idea. I need to remember to ask that next time.
When I'm upset about something. I will tell my husband if I want him to try to fix it or if I want him to listen and comfort mr. He is a natural fix it guy when it comes to me. He says it helps q lot. Lol
Ohh I need to remember that too! I’m a natural fixer but over time I’ve learned that some ppl just need to be comforted and listened to or just need to know someone’s at their side...they don’t need to be fixed or always need advice...
What if they dont even know what they want, what to do?
@@リア充爆発しろ-b8w Then first comfort them give solution. Never give solution while trying to comfort at the same time though.
This video broke me. I am a caretaker for my mother, who, due to brain damage and dementia, is functionally a child. I try so hard to be a good source of support for her, but it's difficult and frustrating and relentless. I often snap, yell, or just fail in other ways to be the kind, generous, patient caretaker (parent in all but name) who she needs, and who I want to be.
Love these videos so much. Please keep doing what you're doing!
Hang in there. I took care of my grandfather who had dementia. My grandma was his primary caretaker, so what I tried to do was support her in whatever way she needed, most often watching over my grandpa so she could get a break. I sincerely hope you have someone in your life that can do the same for you, because man that is not an easy job. Try not to be too hard on yourself when your emotions run high or because you feel exhausted and it just never ends. As Alan and Jono have said, even when the situation is as good as it can be when it comes to parenting, its still hard. Hard in the sense that its just you’re always “on”. You’re doing the best you can in an exhausting situation.
At 6:41 I literally started crying, sobbing crying. This had been one of my top 2 favorite movies since I was a toddler, and ok long tangent; I recently just rediscovered some trauma and went through new traumas this year related to my mother and her NPD, bipolar disorder and living with her for the first time since I was 16; and her not taking her pills. Well and with that realizing how much I was robbed as a child from loving companionship and caring understanding interactions with my mom, my only parent and caregiver, due to her self centered vapid attitude towards life and using me at the scapegoat and literally her punching bag to all her problems. Realizing my freeze response and disassociation isnt healthy. That I should be able to remember my childhood. Finally this year; quitting drinking and drugs after being addicted for 10 years. I watched this movie, and kiki's delivery service, over and over and over as a child and all the way to a teen until my mom broke the VHS tape intentionally. The whole time just wishing I was there and could change things in my life to be better. As an adult I see it now, and wish I could hug that girl I used to be, cuz that's mostly what she needed. Thank you for your view on the film. It definitely helped me to have some new talking points to bring up with a therapist when I can afford one. Thank you, seriously I appreciate your videos
Even if it sounds somewhat crazy: you can "go" and hug that girl - just take a quiet moment and imagine it in as much detail, as you can. I did this a while ago and it helped a lot - more than I had expected.
There's so many inner child healing meditations on youtube that are so amazing and healing and I highly recommend 💚
Thank you, both! I'm going to look up a guided meditation for inner child healing and start working my way to hugging/holding my inner child as she had always needed. I'd never though of meditation, and I know its definitely worth trying
FINALLY you guys are doing some Ghibli-movies :D
Thanks for another amazing episode as usual :)
One of the best examples of parenting I saw at the fair one year. We walked past one of the more topsy turvey fast and scary rides and I heard a dad talking to his daughter who was crying and saying ‘that was really scary right? But you tried a new thing and you did your best and I’m so proud of you! Let’s go get some ice cream!’ It was just so sweet and his tone was so supportive and ensuring bro I almost burst into tears in the middle of the fair.
The first time I watched this movie, I ugly cried for like 15 minutes afterward. It was just so wholesome and pure, and it was so refreshing and uplifting to see a movie where bad things didn’t really happen; it was just two little girls having fun and living a good life surrounded by nurturing people. The fact that they were encouraged to be kids and exercise their imaginations and believe in magic, it just hit so hard because so many kids are forced to face the real world and grow up way too fast. We don’t need violence and hatred in our world, we need more of THIS.
It’s rare to see two men took the time to talk about their emotions. Thanks for making this video.
I am happy you get to see more men open up like this. To be honest a lot of men at Church do so as well, but I do not think women get to see men talk to each other openly due to privacy and reliance needs. The best chats I had was while playing basketball or doing math problems lol.
Well they trained to talk about these things. But yes it is good to see regardless
@@olsonbryce777 one of them is. The other is just a dude with no sort of therapeutic background as far as I'm aware.
May's "It's not fair!" made me think immediately "She just misses her mummy!" which is understandable. The dad is a great guy without question but he cannot be both parents.
You have a different connection with your mum and it is even much more different as a girl than as a boy.
I think, even though May is not able to verbalize it, she knows that the longer mum stays away that it has to be more serious and there is the underlying fear of mum not coming back at all.
Kids realize and know A LOT. Even at 4 years old.
I also understand the sister though, because while the little sister is more free in how to express her frustration and pain, she already as a school kid has the idea in her head of how to behave in society and to be reasonable and her sister's outburst - It's not only "annoying" to her, but it also touches that part inside herself that craves connection with her mother and who fears for her and who is helpless. There is nothing you can do as a child if your mother is sick.
You are "victim" to how life kinda is deciding for you and your family, you have no power over it and that is scary.
As a kid it scares you.
(It does as an adult too, obvsly, however, you are learning to process your emotions.)
My parents starting living in different houses when I was 5, and I struggled a lot with stuff like that. When I was around each parent, it was a very different experience, my mom was the more open and creative one, where my dad had his own struggles with emotions, and didn't want me showing any emotion. Which was hard, as I was later diagnosed with ADHD and part of that means difficulty regulating emotion, so I was often more emotional for things that are seen as not emotional, while perhaps now showing enough or the right emotion during more emotional moments. So that was hard, and I basically had to make two versions of me, and then a third for school, changing my personality to meet the wants of others. But I'd also escape into fantasy and mythology a lot, similar to creating worlds of forest creatures that made me really like this movie when I saw it (it wasn't in English at the time, so I was in jr high school). I've been trying to stop hiding parts of me, but sometimes I wish I had a dad who was more open and willing to accept me with my faults and challenges as well as my weird imagination.
The little girls name is spelled Mei and not May. Don’t feel bad I used to get it wrong too.
@@princesspikachu3915 What an odd correction to make.
I remember seeing this when I was little and really FEELING Satsuki's pain. When she cries because she just can't handle being the 'stronger older sister'. It's so good!!
This movie is indeed a warm blanket; in that warm blanket, you get to remember what it is like to be a child. The visuals take you to places you've never been to before... Under the full moon, in the branches of a giant tree, children sit with friendly forest spirits. Sublime.
I really love how Alan is so pure and showing his emotions. It really hit me when he was tearing up about how the dad is connecting with the child, and kids taking that with them the rest of life. Literally 2 hours ago my dad was telling me 3x in a row that he wanted to break contact with me, after I opened up about struggling with something. Seeing this makes me think and pause.
❤️❤️❤️
I know this is a bit old by now, but just want to expand a bit on what you guys were saying at around 10:58, about how this is how children act. Hayao Miyazaki watched one of his grandchildren put on their shoes, and the toe-tap thing that happens in Spirited Away is based off of how the kid put on their shoe. I love Miyazaki films because there are so many little slice-of-life moments that can sometimes fill you with a sense of nostalgia. I don't know how to describe it, it's just a feeling deep inside that instantly transports me back in time, but also fills me with a bit of melancholy.
that toe-tap lives in my head rent free
I really like this film, as you say, the most adorable film ever made. You have mentioned, the lack of conflict, but I would also add, the lack of melodrama. The mother is sick and has been in the hospital for a while, but there isn't a great fuss about it. Even in the part of the film, when they could have gone melodramatic really easy, they don't slip there. Wonderful movie. And it's almost 40 years old now.
Wow! It's basically my age?? Having only vaguely heard of it, had no idea! The art & production style have held up really well. Tho gotta agree with Alan - for me, the supernatural critters def cross that cute>creepy line 😝
As someone with not so great parents Totoro makes me cry cause of the love I never got being shown as something that happens
‘When Marnie Was There’ has so much substance to work with in terms of being therapeutic; the main character, Anna, has asthma and possibly a depression (her parents and grandmother have all died), so Anna’s sent by her truly kind and caring foster mother to the foster mother’s country-side family, to cure Anna’s asthma with some fresh air. Anna is lonely and introverted, but then meets Marnie, who changes everything.
I’m going to be honest, I bawled my eyes out. It’s such a gorgeously crafted movie - I’d suggest it to anyone in a heartbeat.
Omg that literally is my favorite Ghibli movie! I love it so much and totally relate to how you felt watching it. I couldn’t stop crying even after watching the film it had a lasting effect. It’s just such a great movie and I’d love them to react to it 🤧
OH COOL CAN'T WAIT TO WACTH IT^^
Omg I agree!! This would be a great reaction video
One of my favorite studio ghibli movies I've watched it so many times, I feel like it's healing for me.
Oh yes! Please!
Ghibli movies are so special and I love how they really lean into the quieter moments and don't force the action and conflict. My favorite Ghibli movie is hands down Whisper of the Heart and there really isn't a huge outside conflict and most of it resides in the main character so I understand why its not as popular as Totoro or Kiki's or Spirited Away, but it inspired me so much at such a young age that all the other Ghibli movies just don't hit the same. Its also a really great movie to look at insecurities and imposter syndrome that a lot of artists face from time to time
When I was 11 my mom went into the hospital for a very long time. I was in charge of my 9 year old brother and my kindergarten aged sister. I first saw this movie as a young adult (the far superior original dub) and it really hit home. I could totally relate to Satsuki and how she felt. I think the thing that really affected me the most was when Mei complains to the mom about Satsuki fixing her hair and their mom brushes Satsuki's hair. Satsuki really needed that. It both validated and praised her efforts to fill mom's shoes and take care of Mei yet acknowledged that Satsuki still needed her mom to take care of her too.
I’ve been raising my niece for a year since she was 13 and in and off before that for years. She came from a broken and dysfunctional home and affirming and nurturing her has been such a rewarding joy. It makes me so happy every time I see the way I’m teaching her reflect in her behavior and her growth into a young lady.
This show gives me a heavy feeling of nostalgia and makes me cry every time, even though I first watched this as an adult. I love it!
The totoro song at the end is an automatic tear-jerker
I love seeing how emotional these films make Alan. Like, its so refreshing to see a man willing to cry and be open about his emotions. My family has always consisted of majority males. There was my dad, two younger brothers and then my mum and I. And my dad was and still is abusive. So as a result my mum and I have two very emotionally stunted young men on our hands since our dad did all his damage and then left. Neither of my brothers know how to cope with their emotions in healthy ways, all of their pain and frustrations come out in anger and screaming and throwing things around the house. And my mum and I are of the opinion that asking for therapy and help needs to come from the person that needs it and shouldn't be something they're made to do so getting them the help that they need is difficult. I just wish my brothers had a man in their lives like Alan. Someone to show them that their emotions are valid, they're allowed to feel them and that its OK to cry.
I’ve recently become a mother and am trying to follow “gentle parenting” and after watching this video it’s really cemented my thoughts on this as basically attachment theory and especially the comment on getting behind the behaviour to the emotion. But it’s hard especially when you haven’t been brought up that way (although I have very secure attachments with my parents but it was different and shouty!) anyway I loved the video thank you!
It's wonderful that you're giving a go at it! I think it's important to reflect on our own upbringing and explore how we can improve upon those experiences. We won't always succeed and we'll have good days and bad days; but on the whole, that awareness and openness to change will only make things better.
So, as someone who works with children, I'd like to thank you. It might seem silly, but I figured it was worth saying.
One thing I think could be added to the discussion on when Mei and Satsuki fight, is that it's the point where Satsuki's big sister act breaks down. Because she's been effectually mothering Mei for a long time, but at that point she's so disappointed, so scared and afraid that she can't manage to see the world from Mei's point of view. So not only does Mei's reaction make total sense from a little kid-point of view, Satsuki's reaction also makes total sense from the view of an older kid who has been trying to handle everything in an adult fashion for a long time.