all the ills of this world ~eleison~

as usual i have nothing i truly care or need to say so im just going to tell you about my dick. i feel its best feature is the tasteful thickness of it and the subtle off center slope to the right. i sometimes wonder, if i was left handed, i would wack off with my left hand more regularly. would this have an effect on which way the penis curves? years go by and the dick slopes ever more much like a smaller yet equally historic leaning tower of pisa. i believe if things had been different i couldve had 3 testicles but i missed my chance for that one. i began shaving my pubes a few years ago on recommendation from my coworker, because we had exhausted topics of conversation throughout our multi year co working existence and he decided to tell me about his dick. upon reflection he mightve been hitting on me because usually people wont tell me about their cocks when i ask but he was very upfront with his stats while my ass cheeks safely cushioned his face from potential harm. our workplace is osha compliant, although im told my dick is a hazard.