Before you go and stalk their social media, before you go and look at their pictures, before u do anything like this, ask yourself how you’re going to feel afterwards. I can bet you that most of the time you’re going to feel worse. Rory is right. Nothing will be good enough except working on yourself and staying away from all sorts of “secret agent” things we all can do at times.
It's like looking at his phone when you feel insecure or suspicious. You 'may' find out something you wish you'd never seen or you may find out nothing jeopardising the trust of invasion of privacy. We'd be the ones in the wrong and whatever guilt or conscience they'd be harbouring it would be on their shoulders. It's best to leave things alone and get on with your life. 🍒
I know Im asking the wrong place but does someone know a way to get back into an instagram account?? I was dumb forgot the password. I love any help you can offer me
@Johnny Abdullah I really appreciate your reply. I found the site thru google and I'm trying it out now. Looks like it's gonna take a while so I will reply here later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
SA it doesn’t matter if they feel happy or sad.... it’s about the sub conscious... Love chat tells you what they feel in the inside... you should be happy with you first so that they want a piece of you again... my ex is dealing with a guy rn... idc because I know I’m better... I focus on moving out and getting my cdl... it’s not about if she happy or not...
SA like Rory has said before, you’re not gonna see them post about how sad they are or how they wish they had you back, social media shows only the good things of what we want people to see.
From one who has been dumped by the same guy to many times. I have no interest in what or where this person is going or coming from. It has been 4 months now. Gets easier every day. I know what kind of a person he is. I have forgiven myself and him. That is my secret to be able to keep going. Do not care what he is doing at any time. I have known him for 9 yrs. He has never changed. Thank you. Hugsxx
I have followed exactly what Rory has talked about and have found nothing more than success. For anyone questioning anything about what Rory is saying, STOP. Everything he mentions works.
I went through a bad breakup and listening to your videos has helped me get over it and get on my purpose. I wish I could do more for you but really wanted to let you know this.Much love!
I started taking a 30 fast/break from social media. Yeah, there is some anxiety, but it really is helping me feel better slowly. No, it doesn't erase the way I feel about my ex, but it improves the way I feel about myself.
BigBlobProductions That’s awesome, good for you! 🙌🏼 I am going to attempt a 6 month break from social media soon because I too feel it greatly lessens anxiety and helps you focus more on things you enjoy like hobbies. 🙂
@BigBlobProductions And I know it won’t erase the way we feel about our exes, but the better you feel about yourself and the more you cultivate that self-love... the more you start to believe things will work out, the future is bright, and no matter what you will be okay. 💛
Finally i have stop stalking my ex .. we hadn't blocked each other on social media so .. that was hard to stop stalking.. But i have controlled it .. and now i don't watch her stories or post but she watches my stories
I think the people that your talking about Rory, at 7:55. They are too close to see the truth. That a lot of times the ex doesn’t come back. We want the ex back. But we’re not understanding the real lessons. Healing. Growing stronger. And moving on. I’ve been away from the channel for awhile now. Came back and your still doing great work. You the man Rory.
So so true Rory! Shoot ya it's been 8mos. From my ex and I broke up with me. I'm still feeling great about my overall self and ya my ex is stalking my art page on fb. And I don't really care if she seeing someone else or not. Life is to damn short to worry about an ex. Rory is a life saver!!. Thanks!
Been 5 months. Still having intrusive thoughts. Those thoughts disturb me whenever i'm alone or isolated and would probably make me tear up. Heck even when i'm with people (hid it though). I go back and think, man, i wish she was here enjoying life with me. But reality hits hard. She's not here. She won't be. And i'm in a state of disbelief that she'll ever come back. My situation was from college sweethearts and seeing quite often, til she graduated and she had to move country. We went into being long distance lovers if anybody's curious. Eventually, it became a debri of what I believe was a very beautiful 2+ year relationship. She called it quits all at once and out of nowhere.
Keep watching these videos, keep hanging out with friends, find 1 thing to do that is a new and novel experience at least once a month, more if you can. Get a new job, move to a new area, make new friends, become obsessed with a TV show or watch a movie you like. Keep busy my friend, keep moving forward. If you feel you’ve been in this depressed state for too long, seek therapy. I’m on my 4th month and I can say it gets better, but there are still days where it hits me hard. As everyone keeps saying, time (and what you do with it) is your friend and ally. You have people, whether strangers or friends or family who have all been where you are and had to go through the same pain. But that’s the point: we can and will get through it, it just takes time.
I hope you're doing no contact and not letting yourself become a doormat, it's been 5 months for me also and I get a little stronger everyday,1 hour at the gym everyday does wonders.
sad to hear that, man. But believe me, will better with time. I just passed the 2 years of no contact and still sometimes i think about her. Things happen for a reason, maybe she was not the right girl for you. Do not get me wrong, I still love my ex, but after 5 year ldr she needed something else, maybe being with someone else. I just cut all contact with her. She knows very well my feelings for her but I am not going to beg, she is the one who has to win me back. In the meantime work on yourself, you will find someone better
Long distance relationship most of times doesn't work. I was in there years relationship. My girl moved to US and I couldn't visit because of Covid, Visas. After 7 months she broke up. She called me saying she couldn't avoid finding another guy. It was sad but she was honest. I'm from Rio de Janeiro
I've been in no contact nearly 2 months since my ex asked for a "break" I've watched a lot content on TH-cam about getting your ex back or healing and Rory your videos I find some of the most balance. I love your advice of self love/improvement. Keep up the good work. My mentality and mindset about breakups and heartbreak have drastically changed to see the opportunity in such a traumatic situation and learn to work on myself regardless of the outcome.
It's crazy each time Rory mentions the 3/4 months periods I can't help thinking "Well shit, it's been a year and a half for me and I still have that" good thing I finally started to see a councilor
I am very sorry to hear that but maybe it helps you, telling you that my break up is now one year ago and I am still suffering. I really hope that I will heal soon because the pain is almost unbearable. I have also started to see counselor let's hope that this will help. wishing you all the best
Honestly you are so right. It’s hurting like hell to be dumped but I put my whole energy in improving myself for myself . Either way I’ll do the self improvement.
It’s been a month now since the breakup. I’m feeling great and doing my own thing. I’m feeling like I found myself again! I realized that I found her more important than myself. Our relationship was really good but she didn’t feel the sparks anymore that she used to feel. I see the breakup as something good since I’m learning a lot about myself as well as relationships. I’m doing no contact and I’d be open minded if she would contact me again since the breakup was peaceful. However I’m focusing on moving on and I’m really thankful for your videos! They really helped me opening my eyes💪🏽 In any case she might reach out I’ll edit thiss comment! Take care guys and stay positive 🙏🏼 *edit We’re meeting up in a few days.
@@lordass4007 you sorry lol! So we met up and it was fun but she didn't wanna give me false hope or something. I was okay with that and it actually made me lose feelings even quicker. After our catch up se tried whatsapping me the next days after but I was very reserved. She eventually stopped texting but asked me a few days ago how quarantine is going. I kept it short and polite. The thing is guys, the more you focus on yourself the more you're feeling okay about being single! I've started seeing a lot of flaws of my ex over time which I first didn't notice. I still care about her of course but I'm at that point where I'm confident to say I could date someone new. This will also make it possible to become friends with your ex in the future. Especially if you had a good relationship and there was a lot of camaraderie. But that's something for later :). I hope I gave a detailed update! Hang in there guys, things will get better as long as you focus on the things you can influence 💪🏼
Rory, yesterday was 4 months since my ex broke up with me. I feel so much better now, still haven’t reached out or checked her social media. I’ve only been focusing on myself which has been life changing. I’ve been getting a lot of praise by people from work, family, friends, etc... they notice the change. Your videos have been so helpful to me and I couldn’t appreciate you more.
Omg stay off their social media... it’s hard I know..I’ve been crying for 2 days because I saw him liking some new girls crap and her liking his stuff and in my mind they’re already married... this was after a couple months of healing and getting better and forgetting about him... it’s just not worth it.. like RoRy says, treat it like an addiction..I happen to be a recovering addict and it’s honestly not much different .... I know I can no longer take one drug without it hurting me and I can’t take one peek at his sm without it hurting me... so im done... I was practically already done until he started posting to get some other girls attention... if I didn’t look I would have never known.....
Hey Rory! Thanks for the video! My ex reached out after a month no contact. Not to give anyone false hope but trust that no contact does work. It works on regaining who you are. I don’t know where things will go from here but I’m continuing working on myself and becoming the best person I can be. Your videos are so helpful and I can’t stress enough how no contact is for you. Keep up the great work.
*Yes Rory you are right and I totally agree, we shouldn't look for useless information as it will just continue hurting us. But me personally, I as the dumpee is in the thought of "Even if it's gonna hurt, just tell me the truth and hurt me once and just leave me".. I don't know if it makes sense but I only urge for these useless informations just for the sake of knowing the actual reason, and the whole truth behind me being dumped. But I know then again I will never be able to get the 100% truth no matter what I do... So I guess it comes to your conclusion " It's just useless and it will hurt more". What else could I say*
Had to learn these lessons the hard way. I would check her social media and all it did was show me that she is with someone else. I blocked her months ago and now my life is moving forward.
So my ex of about 1 year reached out to me on 3 months of No contact. She said she missed me a lot and was very responsive when texting. She told me that she was depressed and started talking about how she cried a lot of the time and how she was "depressed". I told her that i would not be her shoulder to cry on, and that she should contact friends for that. I told her to call me when she sorted her feelings out, and call if she wanted to talk as more than friends. Thoughts on if i handled this correctly ? Thank you 🙏❤
My ex just gave me the let's just be friends crap about 3 weeks ago. I told her no thanks and I'm not interested in a friendship. If she changes her mind to call me. I often question if I handled it right but I know I did. I don't want to be friends. I want her romantically.
The other week i've been stalking his facebook (my ex),, i knew deep down that i should not have done that but i still did... and all i get was to see him commenting with his ex and called her baby/babe and that shit hurts me so badly.. so now i commit myself to stop using facebook for awhile.. and after 2 weeks away from facebook, i'm feeling much better now.
I did something today you may or may not agree with. I be broke contact to my Ex to apologise for spitting at him, hitting him. Not to creep. I realised what I did was wrong, and I needed to do this in order to better myself in order to move on. I,ll keep no contact again now. 🍒
It's been 2years. I never replyed to his last message when he said he cant go on any longer. Just left him right there wondering. Yes he wrote he asked my brother he said hallo through others.... but me silence silence silence..... I will never give him the satisfaction of words because my silence is killing him... yes even now 2 yrs on so just hang in there guys and be silent INDEFINITE...
That is reassuring. Im a year and half but punctuated with a christmas dinner with our grown daughter, who wanted to be with me, my ex (her mom) asked to come to dinner. Day after she took her 9 months boyfriend on holiday to her parents. As I said reassuring, even if your case not mine. Time has effects.
@@tomg2946 All I can tell you I have learned the power of silence. Not only with my ex but with everyone in general. Silence is saying it all. It has more power than u think. Life is so short and I have wasted 40 years of my life taklking explaining justifying myself begging pleading.... Now SILENCE and they r all coming wondering where I am what I'm doing and me SILENCE. Yes your daughter should always be your number one and your ex? SILENCE...
Way to go, Denisa! My breakup is no one year ago and my heart still hurts. what I have learned is that it's best 2 b silent. That is the greatest move you can make concerning an ex. wishing everybody here all the best. greetings from Germany.
Been broken up for almost a month now. I made the mistake around 3 weeks ago of clicking on her social media page and saw something I did not want to see. Her posting about not being able to find sex when she wanted it. Big mistake. Have not looked at her page since. Funny thing though is she keeps checking my page constantly. Doesn't matter, lesson learned. I will not check her page again. Only reason why I didn't block her is because most coaches said not to because it makes you look petty. Just mute her so you won't see what she's doing.
I hope you do a Collab with dating guy and answer questions.you guys have given strength in some way through the tough times.i am still healing but you guys give great pep talks.
I stalked my ex trying to find out information and to see what he was up too...! I didn’t find anything. But we work at the same place he works nights so I don’t see him but I had people at work telling me what he was doing and seeing some chick that’s a lot younger than him which did hurt and upset me a little bit my love for him has gone. I had to tell them to stop telling me I don’t care what he is doing and I can’t move on if your telling me what his doing. Just forget about them and move on it’s taking 9 months to feel good about myself.
Unfortunately after 2 months from the breakup she posted on Facebook that she is officially fiancée with an other guy.. so the information is the final game over.. i don't know if it's a rebound or not but it hurts too much..
@@maxd6945 Good for you 🙂... And don't hope for it, you are better than that... Either way , don't consider getting back together with your ex. Trust me,you don't want that 😅
Before you look at their phone imagine how you'd feel if you found nothing incriminating. You'll deny the lack of evidence. You'll spend every mindful day pondering over 'what ifs'. If someone is going to behave suspiciously they'll damn well do it so let it be on their conscience and not your problem. The truth has a habit of coming out in the end. Live your life being good and decent and respectful. Even if they don't deserve it. Let Karma do its work. 🍒
In the 12 traditions of AA they follow the principle of attraction rather than promotion. This can be applied to many other situations in life. I'm focused on betterment of my life holistically. Whomever this process attracts along the journey, I then have the power to decide if they are worthy. Remember, it won't always attract the best people, or things. So be weary and take it slowly when meeting new people, engaging in new situations, etc. Most of all, be weary of what your ex's intentions are if their journey has brought them back to you. "That's all I had for today. " To quote Rory. Love the channel mate! Thanks for keeping things in perspective.
Excited at your upload notifications.. thanks for another beautifully crafted video Rory.. I've recommended a few vids to my Aussie mates and they are hooked too 😄😄 It's crazy what time can do along with conscious work on yourself.. this time last year, my perspective was so so different. Self value had increased more than I had imagined .. Attachment trauma is easily explored and addressable with therapy and it's a great opportunity to access after a breakup. Thanks again Rory!
I unfriended my ex from Facebook and Instagram and deleted her number from my phone the day after our breakup. Reason being, that I did not accept the friendship request and we are not ‘friends’. I cannot and will not stalk her profile. If she wants to initiate contact, she can call me or send a message.
Everything happens for a reason and my break up has led me to your channel and the dating guy! Thank You! I’ve watched all your videos and this one is one of your best 😊👌
I’m at this very weird point of healing. Me and my ex will have sex once in a while. I think we only been broken up for a month or so. I know she’s seeing someone else who is saying he’s “just a friend”. But I like where I’m at and I don’t at same time. I’m not trying to win her back or compete with the other guy. I like having sex and spending time with her and sometimes she calls me to spend the night and I’m okay. I been doing my thing going to gym and even she will say I should go date. I can’t figure out the question I’m trying to muster. But this is a very confusing time in my life...
It's 3+ months since break up, we had pretty constant contact which was more intense, once less. We even met up 3 times during this time, and 1.5 week ago, when I feel we have the the most common and best contact so far, I felt she distanced herself. Shorter responses or none at all, I initiated 80%. Probably she is still in her new relationship. It's about week when I stop initiate, and she also didn't react ouch and I don't know, If I fucked up something, or she just have worse time with her new bf, and enjoyed texting with me. I would not like to give myself hope, but if there is some chance to get back her, I would like to try.
I only wonder but I never tried to find out. I only just... resort to doing different things. BESIDES. I'M WELL AWARE THAT HE FUCKING RAN AWAY, IF ANYONE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, THAT SHOULD BE HIM. Heck! I'm the only one that could stand his self-absorbed behavior no matter how much I loved him.
I'm 2 months no contact. My ex left me as Ishe said I did not make her feel special enough. I have ocd and have said a few hurtful things in the past. The day we broke up ( week before Xmas ffs) she said she loved me but didn't like how I made her feel about herself. I tried everything to convince her as you do but she said we are over.... Is no contact the way forward...please answer Rory you legend
I don't want to know anything anymore from my ex girlfriend. She cheated on me for more than 8 months. Screw her. Now she is together with a 50 year old man. She's just 32 years old. I don't understand why. Will it work?
Coming up to 2 months since the break up I've went through this stage still love her but really couldn't care anymore I'm too tired. Let's just see what happens. If she is true to her word when she told me she will text me when she is emotionally ready and if she said that in the moment to make me feel better and has no intention or reaching out then I truly know how she is.
Can I just ask people this one thing? Does this mean avoid going to the places you used to go to in case you bump 8nto him? I like going to a place because I like to go there, but I also know he goes there. For now, I'm avoiding it because I'm trying to sort my mind out and I don't know if I could cope seeing him. 🍒
Me my ex we ended almost in a good term. I bought her birthday presents before the breakup and she know about them. She invited me to her birthday and now I dont know what to do I have NC over one week and it's only two weeks remain. I dont want to break NC. What to do? I dont want to be rude that is not me before the relationship during and after.
Can you please do a video on first love/first breakup,im going through it rn we were together for 3 years and he broke it of because he wants to experience other people and is moving to another country...
Hey Rory, I went through a breakup about a month ago. I did all I was supposed to, no contact, self work as in gym and focusing on my self. I even joined my school's volleyball team which I enjoy alot! But, I just keep thinking about her no matter what I do, will it go away with time or is there something I can do to help.
128= 4 months 😂😂😂. days of no contact no explanation or anything we both blocked each other and absolutely nothing maybe I’m better off lol it’s not hurting me if I tell myself I’m gonna be single forever that helps me not think about anyone or even closure
Hey Rory 😊, I'm so glad I found your channel, I listened to you everytime I got this urge to reach out to him and I'm in 3 weeks of NC.. I have a question.. My ex said that he doesn't love me anymore as the reason of the break up but then said that he hoped that we will meet again someday? What does he mean by that? Thanks in advance 😊
Abrar Wani don’t read into it too much. Stay strong and focus on yourself. If she wants to reach out she will again. Keep working on yourself. Time makes things easier.
If a girl during a breakup said she wanted to remain friends, and I reply with I’ll think about it. But then 3 weeks later before I have a chance to tell her my decision, she reaches out and says we can’t be friends. What’s her thought process behind this?
Spearmints so instead of saying I don’t want to be friends up front. She will attempt to offer you a consolation, that doesn’t feel as bad. It’s easier for the dumper. It pacifies the dumpee. Don’t sweat it. Work on yourself. Strengthen both your body (exercise) and your mind (watch more of Rory & try some Stoicism). Best of luck friend. It gets better over time.
Rory please i need your help: my ex left me after 8 years, it's been 5 months of NC. But his little sis of 16 yrs (i'm 27) really wants to see me as we used to be really close. She consider me as her elder sister. But she really looks like her big bro (my ex) and i know that if i see her, every memories will come back and hurt me. What should i do? I blocked his mom, sis and bro ( who constantly try to reach me) but his little sis had suffered enough in her life and i don't want to hurt her by rejecting her.. And if i accept to see her, how should i act? Does it broke the no contact?
Rory, I am thinking to book a session with you just to talk things out. But I am afraid I am gonna cry the whole time (depression really kicked in these days). 😭
Beating my self up? Well, that's because I truely see no hope unless I'm just lucky rly. I can problably self improve by making other people laugh and have a good time. Usually kinda good at that, but like doing stuff to actually change who I am? No. So mostly what I've felt watching alot of the advice from you is that I'm a lost cause. So many factors, it's like... gaming is my life, every hour, every day. Also metal music XD If I can't share that love with someone, then I'll just be a terrible trash, unintressted guy. So like the girls that I could potentially meet, FEELS LIKE they don't exist. Go though TInder, party, party girl, getting drunk, buy me drink and I'm urs girls. Fuck that, that's super unatractive to me atleast. Btw reader and u Rory, not typing this to say anything u do is bad. I think most people can relate alot and actually try being a better person. I'm just lost rly.
Before you go and stalk their social media, before you go and look at their pictures, before u do anything like this, ask yourself how you’re going to feel afterwards. I can bet you that most of the time you’re going to feel worse. Rory is right. Nothing will be good enough except working on yourself and staying away from all sorts of “secret agent” things we all can do at times.
It's like looking at his phone when you feel insecure or suspicious. You 'may' find out something you wish you'd never seen or you may find out nothing jeopardising the trust of invasion of privacy. We'd be the ones in the wrong and whatever guilt or conscience they'd be harbouring it would be on their shoulders. It's best to leave things alone and get on with your life. 🍒
I know Im asking the wrong place but does someone know a way to get back into an instagram account??
I was dumb forgot the password. I love any help you can offer me
@Kannon Keanu instablaster ;)
@Johnny Abdullah I really appreciate your reply. I found the site thru google and I'm trying it out now.
Looks like it's gonna take a while so I will reply here later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
@Johnny Abdullah it worked and I finally got access to my account again. Im so happy!
Thank you so much you saved my ass :D
Distance makes the heart grow founder
Deyon Chestnut distance does two things; it either makes the heart grow fonder or the dick longer.
Deyon Chestnut why they seem HAPPY and careless then?
SA it doesn’t matter if they feel happy or sad.... it’s about the sub conscious... Love chat tells you what they feel in the inside... you should be happy with you first so that they want a piece of you again... my ex is dealing with a guy rn... idc because I know I’m better... I focus on moving out and getting my cdl... it’s not about if she happy or not...
SA like Rory has said before, you’re not gonna see them post about how sad they are or how they wish they had you back, social media shows only the good things of what we want people to see.
MRAJJ GREWAL lol true... but work on yourself
From one who has been dumped by the same guy to many times. I have no interest in what or where this person is going or coming from. It has been 4 months now. Gets easier every day. I know what kind of a person he is. I have forgiven myself and him. That is my secret to be able to keep going. Do not care what he is doing at any time. I have known him for 9 yrs. He has never changed. Thank you. Hugsxx
I have followed exactly what Rory has talked about and have found nothing more than success. For anyone questioning anything about what Rory is saying, STOP. Everything he mentions works.
I went through a bad breakup and listening to your videos has helped me get over it and get on my purpose. I wish I could do more for you but really wanted to let you know this.Much love!
I started taking a 30 fast/break from social media. Yeah, there is some anxiety, but it really is helping me feel better slowly.
No, it doesn't erase the way I feel about my ex, but it improves the way I feel about myself.
BigBlobProductions That’s awesome, good for you! 🙌🏼 I am going to attempt a 6 month break from social media soon because I too feel it greatly lessens anxiety and helps you focus more on things you enjoy like hobbies. 🙂
@BigBlobProductions And I know it won’t erase the way we feel about our exes, but the better you feel about yourself and the more you cultivate that self-love... the more you start to believe things will work out, the future is bright, and no matter what you will be okay. 💛
I truly did love her. Its her responsibility now. I did what I could.
Feel you man, same here
Feel you both. Same here, I gave her my heart, body and soul in the purest way . It was never enough.
Update
Finally i have stop stalking my ex .. we hadn't blocked each other on social media so .. that was hard to stop stalking..
But i have controlled it .. and now i don't watch her stories or post but she watches my stories
Same place as you right now
The love chat changed lives. I love you Rory ❤️
Let go of what is hurting you...AWESOME 😇
I think the people that your talking about Rory, at 7:55. They are too close to see the truth. That a lot of times the ex doesn’t come back. We want the ex back. But we’re not understanding the real lessons. Healing. Growing stronger. And moving on. I’ve been away from the channel for awhile now. Came back and your still doing great work. You the man Rory.
So so true Rory! Shoot ya it's been 8mos. From my ex and I broke up with me. I'm still feeling great about my overall self and ya my ex is stalking my art page on fb. And I don't really care if she seeing someone else or not. Life is to damn short to worry about an ex. Rory is a life saver!!. Thanks!
Been 5 months. Still having intrusive thoughts. Those thoughts disturb me whenever i'm alone or isolated and would probably make me tear up. Heck even when i'm with people (hid it though). I go back and think, man, i wish she was here enjoying life with me. But reality hits hard. She's not here. She won't be. And i'm in a state of disbelief that she'll ever come back. My situation was from college sweethearts and seeing quite often, til she graduated and she had to move country. We went into being long distance lovers if anybody's curious. Eventually, it became a debri of what I believe was a very beautiful 2+ year relationship. She called it quits all at once and out of nowhere.
Keep watching these videos, keep hanging out with friends, find 1 thing to do that is a new and novel experience at least once a month, more if you can. Get a new job, move to a new area, make new friends, become obsessed with a TV show or watch a movie you like. Keep busy my friend, keep moving forward. If you feel you’ve been in this depressed state for too long, seek therapy.
I’m on my 4th month and I can say it gets better, but there are still days where it hits me hard. As everyone keeps saying, time (and what you do with it) is your friend and ally. You have people, whether strangers or friends or family who have all been where you are and had to go through the same pain. But that’s the point: we can and will get through it, it just takes time.
I hope you're doing no contact and not letting yourself become a doormat, it's been 5 months for me also and I get a little stronger everyday,1 hour at the gym everyday does wonders.
sad to hear that, man. But believe me, will better with time. I just passed the 2 years of no contact and still sometimes i think about her. Things happen for a reason, maybe she was not the right girl for you. Do not get me wrong, I still love my ex, but after 5 year ldr she needed something else, maybe being with someone else. I just cut all contact with her. She knows very well my feelings for her but I am not going to beg, she is the one who has to win me back. In the meantime work on yourself, you will find someone better
Sorry. I hope you find peace. I am in a similar place.
Long distance relationship most of times doesn't work. I was in there years relationship. My girl moved to US and I couldn't visit because of Covid, Visas. After 7 months she broke up. She called me saying she couldn't avoid finding another guy. It was sad but she was honest. I'm from Rio de Janeiro
I've been in no contact nearly 2 months since my ex asked for a "break" I've watched a lot content on TH-cam about getting your ex back or healing and Rory your videos I find some of the most balance. I love your advice of self love/improvement. Keep up the good work. My mentality and mindset about breakups and heartbreak have drastically changed to see the opportunity in such a traumatic situation and learn to work on myself regardless of the outcome.
You got this, Daniela! Self love is never the wrong choice.
Same, almost two months since he asked for a break. Do not worry, we will be fine ❤
It's crazy each time Rory mentions the 3/4 months periods I can't help thinking "Well shit, it's been a year and a half for me and I still have that" good thing I finally started to see a councilor
I am very sorry to hear that but maybe it helps you, telling you that my break up is now one year ago and I am still suffering. I really hope that I will heal soon because the pain is almost unbearable. I have also started to see counselor let's hope that this will help. wishing you all the best
Seeing a counsellor is a great idea.
Man Rorys videos keep getting better and better
Only thing you have to understand for closure . is understand you deserve better in your life
my ex is in a rebound relationship i will never go back
Honestly you are so right. It’s hurting like hell to be dumped but I put my whole energy in improving myself for myself . Either way I’ll do the self improvement.
It’s been a month now since the breakup. I’m feeling great and doing my own thing. I’m feeling like I found myself again! I realized that I found her more important than myself. Our relationship was really good but she didn’t feel the sparks anymore that she used to feel. I see the breakup as something good since I’m learning a lot about myself as well as relationships. I’m doing no contact and I’d be open minded if she would contact me again since the breakup was peaceful. However I’m focusing on moving on and I’m really thankful for your videos! They really helped me opening my eyes💪🏽 In any case she might reach out I’ll edit thiss comment! Take care guys and stay positive 🙏🏼
*edit
We’re meeting up in a few days.
Update!!!!
@@lordass4007 you sorry lol! So we met up and it was fun but she didn't wanna give me false hope or something. I was okay with that and it actually made me lose feelings even quicker. After our catch up se tried whatsapping me the next days after but I was very reserved. She eventually stopped texting but asked me a few days ago how quarantine is going. I kept it short and polite. The thing is guys, the more you focus on yourself the more you're feeling okay about being single! I've started seeing a lot of flaws of my ex over time which I first didn't notice. I still care about her of course but I'm at that point where I'm confident to say I could date someone new. This will also make it possible to become friends with your ex in the future. Especially if you had a good relationship and there was a lot of camaraderie. But that's something for later :). I hope I gave a detailed update! Hang in there guys, things will get better as long as you focus on the things you can influence 💪🏼
Hey I posted an update :) sorry for the late response
@@fatisdead7150 ..
Rory, yesterday was 4 months since my ex broke up with me. I feel so much better now, still haven’t reached out or checked her social media. I’ve only been focusing on myself which has been life changing. I’ve been getting a lot of praise by people from work, family, friends, etc... they notice the change. Your videos have been so helpful to me and I couldn’t appreciate you more.
Omg stay off their social media... it’s hard I know..I’ve been crying for 2 days because I saw him liking some new girls crap and her liking his stuff and in my mind they’re already married... this was after a couple months of healing and getting better and forgetting about him... it’s just not worth it.. like RoRy says, treat it like an addiction..I happen to be a recovering addict and it’s honestly not much different .... I know I can no longer take one drug without it hurting me and I can’t take one peek at his sm without it hurting me... so im done... I was practically already done until he started posting to get some other girls attention... if I didn’t look I would have never known.....
Hey Rory! Thanks for the video! My ex reached out after a month no contact. Not to give anyone false hope but trust that no contact does work. It works on regaining who you are. I don’t know where things will go from here but I’m continuing working on myself and becoming the best person I can be. Your videos are so helpful and I can’t stress enough how no contact is for you. Keep up the great work.
*Yes Rory you are right and I totally agree, we shouldn't look for useless information as it will just continue hurting us. But me personally, I as the dumpee is in the thought of "Even if it's gonna hurt, just tell me the truth and hurt me once and just leave me".. I don't know if it makes sense but I only urge for these useless informations just for the sake of knowing the actual reason, and the whole truth behind me being dumped. But I know then again I will never be able to get the 100% truth no matter what I do... So I guess it comes to your conclusion " It's just useless and it will hurt more". What else could I say*
No answer, will bring you satisfaction.
Just started NC 15 minutes ago. I love u man. U are an inspiration.
Bhai agar help chaiye to bolna.. i will help you
Just 15mins ago?? Ohh m g..
Had to learn these lessons the hard way. I would check her social media and all it did was show me that she is with someone else. I blocked her months ago and now my life is moving forward.
So my ex of about 1 year reached out to me on 3 months of No contact. She said she missed me a lot and was very responsive when texting. She told me that she was depressed and started talking about how she cried a lot of the time and how she was "depressed". I told her that i would not be her shoulder to cry on, and that she should contact friends for that. I told her to call me when she sorted her feelings out, and call if she wanted to talk as more than friends. Thoughts on if i handled this correctly ? Thank you 🙏❤
My ex just gave me the let's just be friends crap about 3 weeks ago. I told her no thanks and I'm not interested in a friendship. If she changes her mind to call me. I often question if I handled it right but I know I did. I don't want to be friends. I want her romantically.
You handled it maturely.
Took me too long to realize this. Everyone should listen to this video.
such a perfect timing for this video, feels like this is not a coincidence lol
They say no news is good news, and while I get on with moving on and healing, I'd rather not know anything about him. 🍒
Wow! Powerful, The Truth!
Would you ever do a video about when they don't come back and trauma bonds? And when your ex just disapeared even from the Internet?
Hey Rory, thank you for a great coaching hour, to everyone out there, it's worth it, so hmm ' till next time'
A pleasure working with you, Philip!
The other week i've been stalking his facebook (my ex),, i knew deep down that i should not have done that but i still did... and all i get was to see him commenting with his ex and called her baby/babe and that shit hurts me so badly.. so now i commit myself to stop using facebook for awhile.. and after 2 weeks away from facebook, i'm feeling much better now.
Mss Diamond I feel better after two days.l no,point in torturing yourself.. I bet I’ll feel 100 in two weeks. I’m glad you are. Take care
I did something today you may or may not agree with. I be broke contact to my Ex to apologise for spitting at him, hitting him. Not to creep. I realised what I did was wrong, and I needed to do this in order to better myself in order to move on. I,ll keep no contact again now. 🍒
It's been 2years. I never replyed to his last message when he said he cant go on any longer. Just left him right there wondering. Yes he wrote he asked my brother he said hallo through others.... but me silence silence silence..... I will never give him the satisfaction of words because my silence is killing him... yes even now 2 yrs on so just hang in there guys and be silent INDEFINITE...
That is reassuring. Im a year and half but punctuated with a christmas dinner with our grown daughter, who wanted to be with me, my ex (her mom) asked to come to dinner. Day after she took her 9 months boyfriend on holiday to her parents.
As I said reassuring, even if your case not mine. Time has effects.
@@tomg2946 All I can tell you I have learned the power of silence. Not only with my ex but with everyone in general. Silence is saying it all. It has more power than u think. Life is so short and I have wasted 40 years of my life taklking explaining justifying myself begging pleading.... Now SILENCE and they r all coming wondering where I am what I'm doing and me SILENCE. Yes your daughter should always be your number one and your ex? SILENCE...
Way to go, Denisa! My breakup is no one year ago and my heart still hurts. what I have learned is that it's best 2 b silent. That is the greatest move you can make concerning an ex. wishing everybody here all the best. greetings from Germany.
probably your best and most knowledge filled video you’ve had, and you’ve had some great ones. 👏🏽👏🏽
Been broken up for almost a month now. I made the mistake around 3 weeks ago of clicking on her social media page and saw something I did not want to see. Her posting about not being able to find sex when she wanted it. Big mistake. Have not looked at her page since. Funny thing though is she keeps checking my page constantly. Doesn't matter, lesson learned. I will not check her page again. Only reason why I didn't block her is because most coaches said not to because it makes you look petty. Just mute her so you won't see what she's doing.
I hope you do a Collab with dating guy and answer questions.you guys have given strength in some way through the tough times.i am still healing but you guys give great pep talks.
I loved him more than myself, my big mistake. But now I love myself more and I don't want him back anymore. Thank you Rory a lot
Helllllooo this is Rory .. with the Chat Love ☺️
Really needed this. Thanks Rory!
I stalked my ex trying to find out information and to see what he was up too...! I didn’t find anything. But we work at the same place he works nights so I don’t see him but I had people at work telling me what he was doing and seeing some chick that’s a lot younger than him which did hurt and upset me a little bit my love for him has gone.
I had to tell them to stop telling me I don’t care what he is doing and I can’t move on if your telling me what his doing. Just forget about them and move on it’s taking 9 months to feel good about myself.
Unfortunately after 2 months from the breakup she posted on Facebook that she is officially fiancée with an other guy.. so the information is the final game over.. i don't know if it's a rebound or not but it hurts too much..
In my opinion this screams red flags. No way this will last.
@@perooo8526 i hope so.. i the meanwhile I'm dating someone else.. 😉
@@maxd6945 Good for you 🙂... And don't hope for it, you are better than that... Either way , don't consider getting back together with your ex. Trust me,you don't want that 😅
Anyone want to take bets on how long that marriage will last? Lol
@@perooo8526 Thanx! But I'm still suffering about that! It was a very good relationship... I thought she was "the one"..😓
Rory the GOAT
Before you look at their phone imagine how you'd feel if you found nothing incriminating. You'll deny the lack of evidence. You'll spend every mindful day pondering over 'what ifs'. If someone is going to behave suspiciously they'll damn well do it so let it be on their conscience and not your problem. The truth has a habit of coming out in the end. Live your life being good and decent and respectful. Even if they don't deserve it. Let Karma do its work. 🍒
damn rory, this came exactly when i needed it
Saved and downloaded this. Really enjoy this, your “My Thoughts” videos, and your video on “Purpose.” Thank you for doing these videos!
You are so welcome!
I needed to hear that. Thanks Rory.
Thank you Rory ❤
I love your videos!They have helped me through a lot:)
In the 12 traditions of AA they follow the principle of attraction rather than promotion. This can be applied to many other situations in life.
I'm focused on betterment of my life holistically. Whomever this process attracts along the journey, I then have the power to decide if they are worthy. Remember, it won't always attract the best people, or things. So be weary and take it slowly when meeting new people, engaging in new situations, etc. Most of all, be weary of what your ex's intentions are if their journey has brought them back to you. "That's all I had for today. " To quote Rory.
Love the channel mate! Thanks for keeping things in perspective.
Excited at your upload notifications.. thanks for another beautifully crafted video Rory.. I've recommended a few vids to my Aussie mates and they are hooked too 😄😄
It's crazy what time can do along with conscious work on yourself.. this time last year, my perspective was so so different. Self value had increased more than I had imagined ..
Attachment trauma is easily explored and addressable with therapy and it's a great opportunity to access after a breakup. Thanks again Rory!
I unfriended my ex from Facebook and Instagram and deleted her number from my phone the day after our breakup. Reason being, that I did not accept the friendship request and we are not ‘friends’. I cannot and will not stalk her profile. If she wants to initiate contact, she can call me or send a message.
Everything happens for a reason and my break up has led me to your channel and the dating guy! Thank You! I’ve watched all your videos and this one is one of your best 😊👌
I’m at this very weird point of healing. Me and my ex will have sex once in a while. I think we only been broken up for a month or so. I know she’s seeing someone else who is saying he’s “just a friend”. But I like where I’m at and I don’t at same time. I’m not trying to win her back or compete with the other guy. I like having sex and spending time with her and sometimes she calls me to spend the night and I’m okay. I been doing my thing going to gym and even she will say I should go date. I can’t figure out the question I’m trying to muster. But this is a very confusing time in my life...
Yea, I needed this.
Thank you.
It's 3+ months since break up, we had pretty constant contact which was more intense, once less. We even met up 3 times during this time, and 1.5 week ago, when I feel we have the the most common and best contact so far, I felt she distanced herself. Shorter responses or none at all, I initiated 80%. Probably she is still in her new relationship. It's about week when I stop initiate, and she also didn't react ouch and I don't know, If I fucked up something, or she just have worse time with her new bf, and enjoyed texting with me. I would not like to give myself hope, but if there is some chance to get back her, I would like to try.
I blocked my ex so I’m not tempted. Time to move on 🤷🏾♀️
I only wonder but I never tried to find out. I only just... resort to doing different things. BESIDES. I'M WELL AWARE THAT HE FUCKING RAN AWAY, IF ANYONE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, THAT SHOULD BE HIM. Heck! I'm the only one that could stand his self-absorbed behavior no matter how much I loved him.
Thank You Rory for everything you do!
Well said
Her Birthday Today and I look at her account. Now watching this video I deleted the app again.
SO IMPORTANT.
I think knowing what's actually going on with them helps understanding and working things out in the ending..?
I already covered this in the video
I'm 2 months no contact. My ex left me as Ishe said I did not make her feel special enough. I have ocd and have said a few hurtful things in the past. The day we broke up ( week before Xmas ffs) she said she loved me but didn't like how I made her feel about herself. I tried everything to convince her as you do but she said we are over.... Is no contact the way forward...please answer Rory you legend
I don't want to know anything anymore from my ex girlfriend. She cheated on me for more than 8 months. Screw her.
Now she is together with a 50 year old man. She's just 32 years old. I don't understand why. Will it work?
After 9 months of no contact my ex reached out to apologize for portraying me as a bad woman and then disappeared. What should I do next?
Respect 👊
Thanks this helps!!😍🥰🤩
Awesome advice...👍👍👍👍
Coming up to 2 months since the break up I've went through this stage still love her but really couldn't care anymore I'm too tired. Let's just see what happens. If she is true to her word when she told me she will text me when she is emotionally ready and if she said that in the moment to make me feel better and has no intention or reaching out then I truly know how she is.
Can I just ask people this one thing? Does this mean avoid going to the places you used to go to in case you bump 8nto him? I like going to a place because I like to go there, but I also know he goes there. For now, I'm avoiding it because I'm trying to sort my mind out and I don't know if I could cope seeing him. 🍒
Me my ex we ended almost in a good term. I bought her birthday presents before the breakup and she know about them. She invited me to her birthday and now I dont know what to do I have NC over one week and it's only two weeks remain. I dont want to break NC. What to do? I dont want to be rude that is not me before the relationship during and after.
Can you please do a video on first love/first breakup,im going through it rn we were together for 3 years and he broke it of because he wants to experience other people and is moving to another country...
Hey Rory, I went through a breakup about a month ago. I did all I was supposed to, no contact, self work as in gym and focusing on my self. I even joined my school's volleyball team which I enjoy alot! But, I just keep thinking about her no matter what I do, will it go away with time or is there something I can do to help.
Hey the love chat i know you do alot of relationship videos but i was hopeing you could do one on one sided friendships i would greatly appreciate it
Do you think odds of the dumper regretting the break up are worse if she is now on a new sports team full of perspective girlfriends?
128= 4 months 😂😂😂. days of no contact no explanation or anything we both blocked each other and absolutely nothing maybe I’m better off lol it’s not hurting me if I tell myself I’m gonna be single forever that helps me not think about anyone or even closure
Hey Rory 😊, I'm so glad I found your channel, I listened to you everytime I got this urge to reach out to him and I'm in 3 weeks of NC.. I have a question.. My ex said that he doesn't love me anymore as the reason of the break up but then said that he hoped that we will meet again someday? What does he mean by that? Thanks in advance 😊
Couldn't giva anymore.
My ex called me yesterday at 11:15 pm and after 6 minutes texted me that she called me by mistake.what does it mean.i am in 20 days of no contact
Abrar Wani don’t read into it too much. Stay strong and focus on yourself. If she wants to reach out she will again. Keep working on yourself. Time makes things easier.
she most likey did call by mistake though.
@@sacrificiallamb3637 she called my previous phone number from which I used to call 6 months before
How does one call by mistake? Stay no contact and stay strong.
Abrar Wani id say “oh ok it happens lol”.
Man,shoulda watched this video 6 hours ago... Unfortunately I have messaged her without reply once again lol
SILENCE!!!
Topic for suggestion"
Found my ex on tinder and bumble. Swipe left or right?
Report 🤣
Left
what does the dumper feels if they left the dumpee for someone else plz help me
If a girl during a breakup said she wanted to remain friends, and I reply with I’ll think about it. But then 3 weeks later before I have a chance to tell her my decision, she reaches out and says we can’t be friends. What’s her thought process behind this?
Spearmints so instead of saying I don’t want to be friends up front. She will attempt to offer you a consolation, that doesn’t feel as bad. It’s easier for the dumper. It pacifies the dumpee. Don’t sweat it. Work on yourself. Strengthen both your body (exercise) and your mind (watch more of Rory & try some Stoicism). Best of luck friend. It gets better over time.
SanguineRain that makes a lot of sense, thanks man :)
Rory please i need your help: my ex left me after 8 years, it's been 5 months of NC. But his little sis of 16 yrs (i'm 27) really wants to see me as we used to be really close. She consider me as her elder sister. But she really looks like her big bro (my ex) and i know that if i see her, every memories will come back and hurt me. What should i do? I blocked his mom, sis and bro ( who constantly try to reach me) but his little sis had suffered enough in her life and i don't want to hurt her by rejecting her..
And if i accept to see her, how should i act? Does it broke the no contact?
I’m sorry that’s a hard decision to make. I wish I had a good advice to give you
When is your audiobook available in the UK?
Very soon! It's already in production!
@@TheLoveChat great!, I thought in a previous video you had said it was out on 28th of February been eagerly waiting for its release
@@mlehan92 nope! Not out anywhere just yet! Stay tuned!
I don't know were to start. I don't know how to love myself
Start with this: th-cam.com/video/7myZMWlete4/w-d-xo.html&t
Rory, I am thinking to book a session with you just to talk things out. But I am afraid I am gonna cry the whole time (depression really kicked in these days). 😭
Sometimes the most therapeutic thing a person can do for you is to listen and make you feel heard.
@@TheLoveChat Just booked a call with you. Talk to you soon! ( I will try not to cry too much lol).
Beating my self up? Well, that's because I truely see no hope unless I'm just lucky rly. I can problably self improve by making other people laugh and have a good time. Usually kinda good at that, but like doing stuff to actually change who I am? No. So mostly what I've felt watching alot of the advice from you is that I'm a lost cause.
So many factors, it's like... gaming is my life, every hour, every day. Also metal music XD If I can't share that love with someone, then I'll just be a terrible trash, unintressted guy. So like the girls that I could potentially meet, FEELS LIKE they don't exist. Go though TInder, party, party girl, getting drunk, buy me drink and I'm urs girls. Fuck that, that's super unatractive to me atleast.
Btw reader and u Rory, not typing this to say anything u do is bad. I think most people can relate alot and actually try being a better person. I'm just lost rly.