I’m so glad my mom never said I have to leave or charged me rent. I stayed with her until I got my life together. Now I have a career and I’m a homeowner.
@teeenjay2666 That's my plan too. I realized how much happier I was living away during college and only visiting sometimes on the weekends or occasionally calling home. I plan on moving out once I finish my Master's degree.
No pressure on my kids to leave, BUT I know me & my husband get on our kids' nerves. Love em to death, it's their lives, after 18 I'm simply the advisor (and sometimes bank)😂
@@LaurenLinguistMy mom started charging me rent after I moved out the first time. I don't mind, but the way she brought it up felt like a punishment... she cares more about teaching me a lesson than trying to help me. 😂😢 I'm so glad you're not doing that to your daughter 💖 I know she's very grateful even if she doesn't say it.
I don’t charge my son rent. I’m letting him stay until he gets his life together so there’s more assurance that once he gets his own place he’ll have it together enough to stay there.
Right! I wanted out! And to me college was my only shot. So I left at 17! U dont have to have alot to live independently. Sometimes struggling alone is better than living in an abusive environment. Also, most people NEVER will make it to 6 figures.
I'm the parent that's telling my daughter "stay at home." My door is ALWAYS going to be open to her regardless of the situation. Left school, come home. Job didn't work out as planned, come home. It's hard as hell out here and if I can help ease her burden in any way I can and will.
I left at 25, right when things were starting to get tense. Those first couple years were a struggle, but it was MY struggle. Eating noodles and cereal every day ain't so bad when it's YOUR noodles and YOUR cereal in YOUR little place.
1000% truth. My parents helped me from the inside out.. Of which I'm thankful. They've helped me with rent until I got on my feet. But.. staying home was not an option.. Nor was coming back home.... So... Yes.. living in what some might call sub-par conditions... Is rough...BUT ... Ain't nothing like your own... Be it ever so humble😎
I moved out when I was 23. I believe it was the right time. I understood responsibility. I didn't call home when I got in a bind. I figured it out. Sometimes it not about the money, it's about the peace of mind. Explaining your every move can get old quick. To be honest, less than 20% of individuals in the US are making six figures. So I said that to say this, move out when you can.
Exactly! The parents may not even make 6 figures themselves, so why should they delay their child's independence for that salary? Besides, if the kid hasn't learned how to manage money well, then it doesn't matter how much they earn. They'll end up right back at home.
Same situation I'm experiencing now. Some parents just don't understand when it's time to loosen the reigns. We're adults. Not teenagers anymore. You're pushing us away.
Lol…y’all I’m a middle aged woman with a mortgage and back pain and my momma still has issues remembering im not a teenager 🤣 god bless her. I wouldn’t have made it this long without her hovering.
If you live in their house, you may as well be a teenager. Their house, their rules. I moved out at 19 and it was a struggle at times, but I was not up to following their rules as an adult.
@@Allan_Alol pretty much. My parents reminded me all the time their house their rules when you move out you can do whatever you want in your own home and paying your own bills. Couldn’t even have a boyfriend even though I’d moved out sleep in the same room. They were in the guest room. Why because I wasn’t married. Again their house their rules and if I truly didn’t want to do that I could’ve gotten a hotel room!
I left home at 30yrs old, I am now 30yrs old lol. My parents aren't the types to kick us out, demand rent, nag on an everyday basis or anything that drains my mental health. I left because I just wanted to see how it was to have my own. I think everyone should experience that. My life is pretty blessed right now. I know life won't scare me to moving back, but only me wanting to save more to have more is going to get me to go back. I'd say move out when you can, but I know every household is different. So I'll just say good luck and I wish nothing but the best for everyone!
My parents prepared us for adulthood. I think a missed link in raising children is that people are raising children. They arent preparing them to be adults at some point. My parents began showing us how to take pay checks and pay bills. How to cook, clean, mend, problem solve, apply for jobs, what taxes would be taken out, how to prepare tax returns. When we got our first jobs, a percentage went to Mom. She put it up for us. When we got to college age. They took us around to start looking at all the things we'd need when we got our own home. If someone was getting rid of dishes, blankets, or any other houshold items, we'd get some and store it away for our future homes. The most we could get for free the better but we also went thrifting. So maybe a bit of that would go a long way towards a better chance at success after going out on your own.
I moved out because it cost me MORE to live at home with my mom and brothers. I’m the eldest and was the only working adult in the house besides my mom. The amount I was expected to contribute was financially crippling
Times have CHANGED...MONEY Ain't Moneying and Family ain't Familying Either. It's easy to say you need to get your own place, but much harder to get your own place.🤷🏾♀️
In many cultures, whether child is male or female, they stay at home until they marry or move out to live with a partner. American values are really warped when it comes to family. We're a work culture and not a family culture. Working accounts for the neglect of child-rearing duties which is supposed to be about training children to become responsible adults. So, now, we have older parents subsidizing their grown children and grandchildren's lifestyles while living in separate homes. It's practical, when possible (not going to work in toxic family dynamic), to stay home and save up before living independently.
Nothing wrong with that. For a lot of other countries and cultures it is the norm. America has this idea that kids move out after graduation. But with the housing prices these days that idea is becoming a distant past. There are more adults living at home than ever.
Times have changed, pay checks are low, rent is high. No one should be paying 50% of their income for their rent. People can't afford to have a savings and pay bills and pay the rent. It's dangerious paying out most of your income for rent. People don't think about that emergency that comes up car being fixed, medical emergency that your insurance doesn't cover. If you can stay at home to save up a years worth of income please do. Because one medical emergency can set you back and mess up your credit.
I feel my case is unique. I’m about to turn 38 and have lived with my folks off and on since becoming an adult due to various circumstances. It’s worth mentioning I’m an only child and have a good relationship with my parents. I’m also from a Mexican-Spanish family. It’s fairly normal to live with your parents until you can afford to move out either after landing a good job or getting married. That can mean well into your 30s. However, I’ve had a few financial issues and periods of unemployment and I don’t regret asking for their help. Frankly, I’d rather live with them than with total strangers or annoying roommates. Having said that, I’m very glad to have my own space and peace of mind now. I don’t mind seeing my folks every week when I feel up to it.
Yep! I’m Mexican-American. I make good money, but still live at home. My white boyfriend lives with us and he’s good with it. I feel no pressure at all to have my own place and I do not give a fug what anybody thinks. I love mi familia and I ain’t goin nowheres ey! (In the voice of George Lopez)
I love this; everyone's situation is different. I was in my late 20s and almost 30 and nowhere near six figures, and it worked out. Lessons about building independence can come at any age. I think some of us move out too soon. Homes are meant to provide a safe space to reset if needed. I understand everyone might not have the option, and grateful for my parents. Now I'm working to help them more as they age. We need each other.
I think the experience is different for general non-white families, I know some POC relationships are toxic but usually we see POC staying home a little longer to save, especially when the space is there
The rush to move out is such a USA thing. Save some money and get as much financial understanding as you can. Your future self (and bank account) will thank you.
Truest statement ever. Young people want to be grown asap yet have zero financial stability. No savings for emergencies. It used to be 6 month rule to save money now it's a years worth of salary needed. Sleeping on peoples sofa's will only last for a short period, Sadly this is a USA thing, leave home broke and struggle. These jobs aren't paying enough for freshly graduated from college.
I'm in my 30s and I still live at home. A studio where I live is 2k+ now. If I moved out I'd need roommates or a spouse to share the cost with. Especially since alot of my money goes to medical bills. It's easier just staying with my parents and splitting everything 3 ways.
Damn. I need to go give my mom a hug. Cuz I'm GROWN and had to move back in for the time being and we do just fine. NYC is EXPENSIVE and Hotels do exist😅
I left home at 18 when I joined the Army. I have never went back. My kids can always come home when they need to, but you still can’t just do what you please. Especially if your not cleaning up after yourself. You don’t have to pay any bills, but you MUST clean the space you occupy. Period.
I moved out at 15....but it was a must. If you have a home that is safe and healthy then stay. Some of us didn't have that option. Because I had to leave for survival and I had no choice but to figure it out.
@@Lucie_PinkBandit yeah....I'm doing good. God has been so good to me...He put people in my path that hired me. One thing about growing up in survival mode is that it makes us very resourceful... good with money...hard workers... quick on your feet and creative. I thank the Lord that it hasn't made me too hard hearted and bitter....well not real bitter.
@@Lady_E me either. I never went back and there were times when I definitely could have used some help but God always made a way for me to do it myself. Now I'm doing much better than them. Glory to God...I'm ok.
I got married and moved out at 18…my mama used to say 2 grown women can’t stay in the same house.. I get that now that my daughter is 18. Grown people need their own place to have peace.
After my divorce at 35, I moved in with my mother. She didn't charge me anything. I think living with family can be beneficial. Everyone can save and work towards something. I moved out because I was commuting over three hours and it just wasn't feasible. I love living with family and feel blessed we are close enough and like each other enough to do so.
My mom has told me that I’m more than welcome to stay with her until either I’m married or well enough financially to buy a house. We get along fine and I honestly don’t see myself ready to get in a relationship any time soon so that works out for me😊 I’m gonna encourage my future kids to do the same when that time comes, and put in the effort from day one to make sure we have a positive relationship. As long as they are productive and not doing crack or some shit they can stay with me as long as they need.
I moved out at 17. Every time I attempted to move back in with my parents it was a mess. At one point my mom moved in with us. 🙅🏾♀️ Can't share my home with any adult other than my husband. My kids are allowed to stay until the are stable enough to fly out of the nest. But if they can't mentally handle it, I totally understand.
I was actually in my late 20s when I FINALLY moved out on my own. I struggled for nearly three years. Then my aunt and uncle (parents adjacent) asked me to move in with them for half of what I was already paying in rent. It was a blessing. The three of us made our own little family within a family. I did have that moment when I had to respectfully (and one time not respectfully) assert myself with them and let them know I was no longer a child. But all in all, we got along, they were there for me when my mother passed away. I was grateful to have them. My uncle has recently passed away too and even though he could work a nerve like no one else, I miss that joker.
Yes I had a wonderful time living at home I was 31 years old when I moved out in 1991 yayyy still wasn’t ready like you said girl when them Bills came Oooo boy mamma can I come back please but no I stayed my rent frist 175.00 yes 1 bedroom big it was nice place lived there 11yr.❗️👍💯👏👏👏now 64yr boyyy how rent have changed oooo miss my mom n dad soooo much 😢
I got married at 22, so of course my husband and I left our parents homes,and found a place of our own. …And I’m very happy to say that after 34 years of marriage, we never had to move back into to our parents house.😊 Our daughter moved out after she graduated from college cause she found a good job.😊
Miss, we will count your daughter's story not yours. You did not understand the assignment. Rent on a studio is $2,600 today! When you were 22 you could've bought a mansion paying that much a month.
My daughter just turned 18 and was happy to say she is living her best life in a tiny house on our land. That neck roll and I am grown started 3 months before her 18th. I could NOT she had to go but unfortunately one bedrooms here are almost 1800 a month so I bought her a home to have peace! Parents' mental health matters too 😂😂❤
Left for my own because I was finally able to afford my own at 32. My parents are lovely, have supported me financially and emotionally. But as an adult woman, you need your own space, you just do, even though it's common in Caribbean households for adult children to live with their parents well into adulthood. If have kids I will prepare them to leave the house sooner than I did because I was playing games with my money lol. I'm grateful I'm able to afford living alone which I believe helps you connect with yourself, but I'm not going to push any of my future kids out of the house either.
That’s a STRONG HELL NO!!! I tried a couple of times for savings purposes. My MENTAL HEALTH is much more important to me than some 6 figures. More power to those whose parents are built different.☺️
Move out permanently at 20 and struggled. I mean, STRUGGLED for years. But the proudest day was when my Mother visited me in the first house that I bought all by myself. (Unfortunately, my father had passed.)
My mother lost her mind! I was out and headed to Boot Camp at 20. I thrived. And only shared what I wanted my parents to know. It's been like that ever since.
That's so relatable. One of the happiest periods of my life was being in college and working crazy hours. Why? Because even though it was demanding, I didn't have someone looking over my shoulder as if I was a teenager every few minutes. It was freedom.
My parents and I had great relationships, but at 18, I joined the Navy and never went back. I left home a new boyfriend that eventually became my husband of 35 years. But I always felt like I could go home if I needed to.
Stayed until 30, when I could buy my own house! My parents and I split all the bills three ways.. it was a great deal for me and I was able to save money.. The parent dynamics changed as I got older they would call me there roommate and all chores and stuff like that was also based on when someone wanted to do it, they legit stopped asking me to do stuff. I think you just have to have the right parents and it could work fine. It did for me at least.
I lived with my mom and sister until I bought a house. It was a 3 family house so we all moved in together. We rented 1st level, my mom and sis lived on the 2nd level and I occupied the 3rd floor. It was a great arrangement
My son is 17 and he's moving out next week. He's off to college. We had to move back to my grandparents house during the pandemic and baaaabbbyyy, NOPE. NOT AGAIN. Please Yah. Between them, mom, aunt, uncles all up in my business, I miscarried a child. The stress was unreal. I'm loving them from a distance now.
I left at 17, came back at 35 after a divorce. Living there was too expensive: paying rent to share 1 bathroom with up to 5 people, being subjected to mood swings, having to do dirty chores after I just washed my hair, constantly being belittled and criticized out of the blue. NO! I needed to get the hell on somewhere. And when I was able to, I did.
Stayed home a year after graduating college. It wasn't bad parents let me save $.Bought a car (Dad bought 1st one) and a small townhouse. GOD been ooowee good haven't been back and have bought 2 houses since. Taught kids (twins) how to budget $ and be responsible. HS graduation bought each 2nd hand car. Now after college and working both just bought their own brand new 2023 car and in 6 months will be buying 1st 🏡. I think you teach what you learned and start early. I'm ok with giving your kids a running start as long as you teach them as well. Be an example 😉
Let me just tell it like I feel….. if my mom was living I would definitely be living with her…… I’m a whole grown woman but the “struggle is real’ being grown and responsible is a lot!!!! I’m just saying there’s nothing like having stability!
Thank you ❤ I left home at 18 when I moved away to college and loved it. Budgeting for the unexpected and keeping the unexpected events at bay is how you adult. Save like no one is going to catch you and pay your bills months in advance. I know I can’t live with my parents because… So I became independent and made it work. ❤
@ShadowtherSerpent358 Hi, she left when she went to college. So, I advise you to go to college or enroll in trade school to secure a nice paying career. You can train to be a welder, electrician, LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). IT- Information Technology, such software developer or as cyber security, that is a booming field with lots of opportunities and potential for high wages.
❤😂 I went into the Army at 18 but when I finished at 22 I came back to my parent's house. Stayed until I was 31. I'm retired now and No I never made 6 figures but in the 80s and 90s things were not as expensive. I was blessed to have a good relationship with my parents and I took care of them until they passed away. 😢
I moved out at 22 and have NOT been back since! 😮💨 My parents and I are like: -Oil & Water -Water & Electricity -Spaghetti & fried fish WE JUST DON’T MIX! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😭😮💨 I’ve been homeless, slept on other people’s floor, couch, in my car, but I AINT GOIN’ BACK! 🫠
My dad is actually my landlord he actually has been for the past 12 years, but we DON’T share any living space otherwise I wouldn’t live there, plus this is the only actual time I’ve ever resided under the same roof as him, it keeps us closer he does tend to be a little bit nosier than usual but he’s up in age now, plus he has a RING doorbell camera for security purposes, which might I add seems to watch my comings and goings more than what’s actually going on‼️… But there’s nothing else to worry about WE’RE at complete peace and I love it‼️🤣🤣🤣
After college, mom told me I could stay as long as I need to. Wanted to move out around 25, but the way the cost of living is set up, it didn’t happen til 36, when I finally bought a house.
👑 18 then married at 19 📖 moved into a rooming house pregnant got an apt before the baby came nooo be on Your Own You'll Catch the rhythm of being an Adult 🙏🕊
Rent really is too high, though! Stay at home until you have down payment for your own home. Don't just stay home and spend all your money on fancy cars and clothes and IG-worthy vacations. Stay home to BUY A HOME! I just told this to my friend's son. If I had stayed home just one more year and bought a home, I'd have a home free and clear today instead of 10 more years on my mortgage.
Moved out at 18. Couldn't wait to be gone! $350 a month salary & barely scraping by. But nothing was going to keep me under someone else's roof. I'm 66 btw.
Left at 18 for Active Army. Haven't lived at my mom's house since. And I wouldn't have it any other way. She's ok, it's just better to have my OWN house. ❤
I lived with my parents until I was 23 and out of college. My parents wanted me to stay and save money, but they were strict and I couldn't take it anymore! Still being treated like a kid in my early 20s. I had to LEAVE. Cause what I look like telling my friends in my 20s that I had to make it home in time for curfew????
Was kicked out. I was old tho like 24-25. Moved back in around same time and my mental health was compromised during that time. I should have chosen to figure it without trying to go back home. When I left for college should have been my last experience as a permanent resident of my mothers house. But to God be the glory I survived and grew from my actual experience.
Sometimes it's hard for parents to see their kids as adults when they are still living in their house ... that alone will make any 22 year old fresh out of college to hurry up and move. I've also noticed that people that live at home longer lag in maturity or growth.
When you opened the letter!!!! Oooooo I was triggered. My Gawd. I waited until I received my MSW which was age 35. I made the choice that was BEST for me. Cause when your mind is an adult, it’s not going back. The funny thing is the expectations follow you, I still clean in Saturdays and wash dishes daily lol
I am and I grossed 6-figures in my business during C-19 & bought a Benz. Other cultures around the world already practice multi-generational households. Im grateful my black parents understood the assignment! But I also understand our culture has a lot of growing to do so although this is me and my sibling’s experience, we know it is not for a majority! Prioritizing your life changes the game! If you want alone time do a weekend getaway with your bae! We all financially contribute in the home btw!! We just finished renovations and looking at more to come. But y’all do what y’all want….
Same here. My son is 27 with his own flourishing business and us still with us and contributes. When he threatens to live my husband would say ta go where? Boy save ya money n buy some property or duplex or sumtin! We're bahamian its the norm for many of our kids to live with us til they marry. By that time they're often moving into their own homes by then.
It's not just a matter of culture. It's also a matter of space lol. Also family dynamics and priorities. If multiple siblings can stay home well into adulthood without all those adults being on top of each other, then that helps make it easier. But also, some people just want their own space, all the time, not just a weekend here and there. Your situation is awesome, but some people just don't want that, even if it's an option. I don't make six figures yet, but I love having my own home and going to see my parents once or twice a week.
Just wondering where the noted “Benz” come in at 🤦🏾♀️? That’s some of our problem as a culture. We want to floss, before we are really financially stable. Maybe you are good, but that drop just seemed unwarranted in the conversation.
As a 20 year old that still lives with her mother I am currently trying to get independence. Love my mother but being on time for church and nothing else is a NO for me. It is the bills over mama right now, and um miss ma'am is trying to keep me home (as a free maid, servant, and cooker)-I gottas go😂
My sister went away to college at 18. I went to community college and stayed with my parents. Graduated nursing school and moved out at 22. My parents didn't nag me to move out but I was ready. But my rent was $415 in 2004. I worked, went back to school and got my Bachelor's degree. Got my house at 26 on my own. It was a blessing. But, it's very difficult to afford rent as a single person right now. I definitely encourage these young folks to get their priorities straight to set themselves up to be able to take care of themselves. If they stay with parents, be productive and stack your change and prepare to get out on your own. Love my parents to death, but live with them again at my age, absolutely not.....😂🤣💜
I left home at 21, though our mother always said to make sure we were well established with a job, savings, purchase all of our furniture, purchase a car, household appliances and other items; this way we’d have nothing but bills to pay when we moved out. My brother did exactly that and bought his first piece of property before he moved out after coming home and staying a few years after being in the military . I just wanted to move I LOVED my mama ,but no I wanted my own😂. I did come back once for a hot minute with 2 kids, quickly regrouped, moved again and maintained. At the age of 34 I was married, with 4 kids and had 4 real estate properties. Every parent should want their kids to move out and experience life. Trial and error will happen, it’s life. Having a good support system is good but not to the point kids won’t and can’t be responsible not being able to stand firm in life. Sadly parents die and nobody is gonna love your kids like you. Our parents died in peace knowing “ My babies are blessed and holding their own in life with the Lords help” and we are. Thanks Mama and Daddy! RIHP❤
Baby never! I graduated in May was outta there by October of the same year. That was 20 years ago. I get it. There is a huge difference in the exit plan of 2004 and the exit plan for young adults today. God bless them all. Been a home owner since 29 can’t imagine living with my parents a single day past 18.
I graduated high school, and I moved out at 17... been on my own ever since. I'm 47 now and have 4 adult kids... they all moved out once they turned 21. I made sure that they saved money. I didn't want them to struggle the way I did (to a fault 😢)... though I have no regrets. Every experience made me the strong woman that I am. I'm now on my last one, she's 20, in college & working, saving her money. I'm not rushing her out... I don't know how to live alone 😢 I never have had to live alone. 💔 😢
Making 6 figures is very hard to do right out the gate if you acheive it all. I lived with my parents till I was about 24 and they did charge me rent but not at first it was only after I completed college and it was only 300. They gave the money back to me when I moved out at 24 with my then boyfriend. Living on your own after high school is pretty rare because it's very hard to make enough of a salary to support yourself at such a young age. everything is expensive when you pay for it yourself so I def think it's more commplace to move out later or else you just have to live with roommates, if your into that
I moved out a year ago at 29. I honestly stayed way too long. I could hear a lot of my past experiences in this video. Looking back, I can acknowledge that I thought I was grown, and I wanted to live my own life. I had to pay money to live there, and assumed I had more of a tenant role, not a child role. The lack of privacy and control were frustrating. It's odd that parents love to tell children that when you’re 18, you can do whatever you want. The “and move out of my house” is silent. I wouldn’t go back home even if I was homeless, and I had a scare with that at one point. Life on your own is hard, but if you can make it work, it's so rewarding. Pay the money you need to for your peace.
My parents never told me I could do what I wanted at 18. It was always "Our house, our rules. When you get your own house you can do what you want." So I followed their rules until I was 25 and couldn't deal with it anymore lol
I dated a guy who couldn't for the life of him see that he was still a kiddo in his parents eyes. You put it correct it isn't a tenant landlord it's a parent kid. It was inappropriate at his age, he just couldn't fathom paying rent and living in his own. He missed out on his 20s and 30s cause he had parents to answer to regarding career, relationships, finances, ECT. I regret to say despite him being great he just was severely behind. 😔 I moved to college at 18 and never moved back in, my parents strongly encouraged independence and got you on a month of rent if you slip but, you better make something shake soon. I love providing and relying on myself and answering to MYSELF.
@@Andrea.P. I hear your comment so much. At times, I do look back and mourn my twenties a bit. There were trips I wanted to go on, friendships I wanted to cultivate, and hobbies I missed out on, trying to stay in my family's good books. Life is so different when you are accountable to yourself, in good ways and bad. I wouldn't have it any other way though.
I'm all for adult children staying home longer, however, there must be some kind of plan in place to move on in the future. Staying with your parents until you "get on your feet" "get your life together" or "get stable" is a little too vague for me because someone could milk that forever. I have family members who stayed home until their 40s, 50s, and even 60s while still trying to "get their life together". Realistically, when does it end? From what I've seen, staying home too long causes some people to get too comfortable and lose initiative. I know life is tough at times, but we all must learn how to deal with it. You can't hide at home indefinitely and expect to be protected from the world. The other thing to consider is the lifestyle of the parents. We always hear about the benefits of moving home for the child, but what about the parents who are maintaining the home? Living with an adult child may also be an adjustment for the parents, too. I know this doesn't apply to everyone and if this situation works for both you and your parents, great. I'm just saying there is a fine line between helping and enabling when it comes to our kids.
Heckkkk naw!!!! I had to go!!!! …. I had to move back in with my parents cause I fell on hard times while transitioning between colleges!!! …. They were fine but I have myself a deadline!!! I like my freedom!! I like my freedom!!! 😂😂😂😂
I moved out at 17 but moved back when my mom became ill, and my dad needed help with her. After she passed, he asked me to stay. I stayed until I inherited my nieces. Eventually, we bought a house across the street. It is all about the dynamics. Communication and boundaries are key. I know this wouldn't work for everyone, but I enjoyed my time with dad and the girls and I enjoy living together.
In my family it's the norm to live with your parents for your entire life if not married. Some who are married still live with their parents. Who owns the home and pays the bills may change, though. I'm thankful for this type of set-up because of the mental health & developmental issues I'm dealing with, It would be hell on my own. I do make good money. I'm well beyond the normal move-out-on-your-own age. We share in the costs of owning of and upkeep of this home. At my parent's age, it's now a situation of we take care of each other. Growing up, the rule was as long as you're working or in school, you can stay. Even when unemployed, I stayed and looked for a job every day.
Simply..."no ma'am. no ma'am." I left at 18 and the longest I was ever home was three weeks when life blew up and I had to go back and face the problem. I worked long and hard to say " I pay the bills here, do as I say."
I was 19 when I moved out of the house and never looked back. Now my parents are in their 80’s. My siblings and I take turns visiting to help them out.
We told our son that he can stay, but he must pay us rent. The rent will go directly into an account for him, so that when he’s ready to leave we’ll match it and he’ll have a down payment for a home or other big purchases. This will give him good practice in paying bills and being responsible.
I left at 18 to go to college and, with God's grace, never went back. 🙌🏽 When I go home to visit, I get a hotel room. I love my Mama dearly but...nope. She watches the news cycle 24/7, gets irritated when you are uninterested, lectures you non-stop on WWJD, and wants a full background check on any of your friends and a full itinerary when you leave the house. Oh, and any "gentleman callers" have to stay in the living room. Can't do it. 🥴😂
I moved away at 19. My sister and I were roommates and I learned from all the mistakes we made. I lived on my own at 28 and it's the best thing to have solitude.
October will be 1 year that I have been on my own. I was 36 when I brought my house. The oldest and only girl I stayed with my mom mainly due to her health conditions and the insecurities that i thought I had. I got to the point where i had to sit down and speak to a therapist who highly suggested that i get my own place and helped me to recognize the signs of a narcissist. Mental health is very important.
Left home at age 20 with a 4 month old son, a $269 car payment, making $11,500 a year. We survived, but if I could do it again I would’ve stayed at least until he turned one and allowed my parents to keep helping with my baby. I’m 51 now and my son is 31. Could he stay until he earns 6 figures? Negative. I love my son, but not like that. 😅
The hotline was my great-grandmother. Done complained about me to the whole family, but I moved in for the sole purpose of helping her out.🙄 I had to move out, she ended up hospitalized and eventually they sold her house and kept her in a facility. The family wanted me to continue to help her out, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Cause while she was talking about me like a dog calling me "silly like her mama" the family was busy believing it. Some even started popping attitude towards me based of her words. Naw, fam one of y'all can do it. She eventually passed. God rest her soul. I do miss her.
OMG YES!! 😂😂😂😂😂I was 19 and moved back in @ 27 because was really sick and my dad needed help(a break) but less then a year I moved upstairs in the apartment complex so I can still help her because parents was driving me and my daughter crazy. My mom passed away in 2021. 🕊️ now I’m 30 so happy I moved back and helped my mom before she passed away.
I am 29 and I moved out almost 5 months ago. I waited as long as I could to save money by staying with my dad but it was killing my spirit. I'm an only child and it was hard for my dad to comprehend that I may still be his child but I am not A child. My boyfriend of 5 years proposed and I was like, WELL, this is my out! I had also started a new job making a bit more money at that time, and I've had so much peace ever since.
I stayed home until 28 and moved out about a month ago. I dang near had a heart attack once that rent was submitted too 😂 My parents live out in the middle of nowhere so between the hour and a half drive it's literally impossible to save up. I wish I could have stayed home longer but some parents are just too toxic to do that. I miss my family terribly but I love my peace of mind more
Staying with your parents as an adult teaches you a lot more about yourself and them as they age ….❤ so if you are have prayer and much patience with you and them
I attempted this at the beginning of the covid lockdown(unbeknownst to me the world was ending) and it was torture. I’m greatful I was able to reset at my moms home since I am always able to go home, but our living dynamics do not align and it was hard to lower my house rules to respect her house. Mentally it did take a toll on me as I was grieving a relationship that ended which is why I moved back home. Thankfully, again I can always go back home and do for the holidays, but I need my own home. I do believe in giving my children the option to stay as long as they need to in order to save up to purchase a home. I had this option, but mentally I couldn’t do it.
Whew chile! I feel seen! I moved back with my mama after I got divorced last year and I thought it would be cool because we’ve always been close but baybee! I’m about to pull my edges out on a daily basis. Once you’ve been the lady of your own household it’s hard to go back. My mom is really passive aggressive so she ain’t gon come out and say it but she gon let u know in the most dramatic way that she don’t like the way you do things. And greeeeeedy. Usually older ppl eat like lil birds but not my mama. Every time I cook she lifting up my lids staring in the pots or just lingering and watching( which is my pet peeve) I come home from work and she ain’t cooked nothing but looking at me like “what’s for dinner?” Not to mention she got a mini fridge in her room w/ hidden snacks but when I buy groceries she asking for “just a lil piece” of everything. And yes I pay rent, buy my own food and toiletries and pay my bills. It’s tough. But soon as I get the chance I’m getting the hell on! 😂 Love you mama but I’m just keeping it real 😅 Writing this felt like therapy☺️
I’m so glad my mom never said I have to leave or charged me rent. I stayed with her until I got my life together. Now I have a career and I’m a homeowner.
@teeenjay2666 That's my plan too. I realized how much happier I was living away during college and only visiting sometimes on the weekends or occasionally calling home. I plan on moving out once I finish my Master's degree.
No pressure on my kids to leave, BUT I know me & my husband get on our kids' nerves. Love em to death, it's their lives, after 18 I'm simply the advisor (and sometimes bank)😂
This is exactly what I’m doing with my daughter! She’s an only child…
@@LaurenLinguistMy mom started charging me rent after I moved out the first time. I don't mind, but the way she brought it up felt like a punishment... she cares more about teaching me a lesson than trying to help me. 😂😢
I'm so glad you're not doing that to your daughter 💖 I know she's very grateful even if she doesn't say it.
I don’t charge my son rent. I’m letting him stay until he gets his life together so there’s more assurance that once he gets his own place he’ll have it together enough to stay there.
😂😂😂 My moma would say, it's too many grown folks in this house. We knew what she meant by that.
"GET!
OUT!" 😆😆😆
My dad would tell me that every time me and my momma would argue 😂
@@queencleopatra007 Same! Or the dishes weren't done or the house was a mess. No ma'am. Moma did not play them games. 🤣🤣
That “Ima let u go on run me to Walmart” took me OUT 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Moved out at 20. I didn’t have a job I didn’t have a car, I just had to leave. Staying at my parents for more than a few hours is torture.
💯 but ironically enough, I get along better with mine after moving out lol
Right! I wanted out! And to me college was my only shot. So I left at 17! U dont have to have alot to live independently. Sometimes struggling alone is better than living in an abusive environment. Also, most people NEVER will make it to 6 figures.
@@TEWMUCHi made it to 6 figures last year. Now I'm moving out.
@@InnerRise Congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉
@@InnerRise woo hoo! Go you! 💃🏾 go you! 💃🏾🤠🥳
I'm the parent that's telling my daughter "stay at home." My door is ALWAYS going to be open to her regardless of the situation. Left school, come home. Job didn't work out as planned, come home. It's hard as hell out here and if I can help ease her burden in any way I can and will.
I love this. My mom was/is this way with me, and I tell my kids the same thing. I wish everyone had parents like this.
I left at 25, right when things were starting to get tense. Those first couple years were a struggle, but it was MY struggle. Eating noodles and cereal every day ain't so bad when it's YOUR noodles and YOUR cereal in YOUR little place.
FACTS!!!!
1000% truth. My parents helped me from the inside out.. Of which I'm thankful. They've helped me with rent until I got on my feet. But.. staying home was not an option.. Nor was coming back home....
So... Yes.. living in what some might call sub-par conditions... Is rough...BUT ... Ain't nothing like your own... Be it ever so humble😎
I never thought about it like that. But at the same time I absolutely hate ramen 😭
I moved out when I was 23. I believe it was the right time. I understood responsibility. I didn't call home when I got in a bind. I figured it out. Sometimes it not about the money, it's about the peace of mind. Explaining your every move can get old quick. To be honest, less than 20% of individuals in the US are making six figures. So I said that to say this, move out when you can.
Exactly! The parents may not even make 6 figures themselves, so why should they delay their child's independence for that salary? Besides, if the kid hasn't learned how to manage money well, then it doesn't matter how much they earn. They'll end up right back at home.
Well said.
That 20% can't be right or that's old information. In order to live NY you have to make $160k minimally!
I lived with my parents for 3 years after college, and it was ROUGH. Mama tried, but it was hard for her to remember that I wasn't a teenager anymore
Same situation I'm experiencing now. Some parents just don't understand when it's time to loosen the reigns. We're adults. Not teenagers anymore. You're pushing us away.
Lol…y’all I’m a middle aged woman with a mortgage and back pain and my momma still has issues remembering im not a teenager 🤣 god bless her. I wouldn’t have made it this long without her hovering.
If you live in their house, you may as well be a teenager. Their house, their rules.
I moved out at 19 and it was a struggle at times, but I was not up to following their rules as an adult.
@@Allan_Alol pretty much. My parents reminded me all the time their house their rules when you move out you can do whatever you want in your own home and paying your own bills. Couldn’t even have a boyfriend even though I’d moved out sleep in the same room. They were in the guest room. Why because I wasn’t married. Again their house their rules and if I truly didn’t want to do that I could’ve gotten a hotel room!
I stayed for 1 year after college and I had to leave for a number of reasons. Lol.
I left home at 30yrs old, I am now 30yrs old lol. My parents aren't the types to kick us out, demand rent, nag on an everyday basis or anything that drains my mental health. I left because I just wanted to see how it was to have my own. I think everyone should experience that. My life is pretty blessed right now. I know life won't scare me to moving back, but only me wanting to save more to have more is going to get me to go back. I'd say move out when you can, but I know every household is different. So I'll just say good luck and I wish nothing but the best for everyone!
They ALWAYS 🗣️LET you take em somewhere😂 too kind I swear😂🤣
My parents prepared us for adulthood. I think a missed link in raising children is that people are raising children. They arent preparing them to be adults at some point. My parents began showing us how to take pay checks and pay bills. How to cook, clean, mend, problem solve, apply for jobs, what taxes would be taken out, how to prepare tax returns. When we got our first jobs, a percentage went to Mom. She put it up for us. When we got to college age. They took us around to start looking at all the things we'd need when we got our own home. If someone was getting rid of dishes, blankets, or any other houshold items, we'd get some and store it away for our future homes. The most we could get for free the better but we also went thrifting. So maybe a bit of that would go a long way towards a better chance at success after going out on your own.
My husband and our two girls,15 and 20, still live with his mom by choice and will never leave. We love being together ❤
I moved out because it cost me MORE to live at home with my mom and brothers. I’m the eldest and was the only working adult in the house besides my mom. The amount I was expected to contribute was financially crippling
Times have CHANGED...MONEY Ain't Moneying and Family ain't Familying Either. It's easy to say you need to get your own place, but much harder to get your own place.🤷🏾♀️
I turned 28 years old a few days ago and I'm still living with my parents.
If it works for you & your parents, then there's nothing with that.
@@SherYTF Straight up facts 💯
In many cultures, whether child is male or female, they stay at home until they marry or move out to live with a partner. American values are really warped when it comes to family. We're a work culture and not a family culture. Working accounts for the neglect of child-rearing duties which is supposed to be about training children to become responsible adults. So, now, we have older parents subsidizing their grown children and grandchildren's lifestyles while living in separate homes. It's practical, when possible (not going to work in toxic family dynamic), to stay home and save up before living independently.
@@GenXsinglefree😊exactly
Nothing wrong with that. For a lot of other countries and cultures it is the norm. America has this idea that kids move out after graduation. But with the housing prices these days that idea is becoming a distant past. There are more adults living at home than ever.
Times have changed, pay checks are low, rent is high. No one should be paying 50% of their income for their rent. People can't afford to have a savings and pay bills and pay the rent. It's dangerious paying out most of your income for rent. People don't think about that emergency that comes up car being fixed, medical emergency that your insurance doesn't cover. If you can stay at home to save up a years worth of income please do. Because one medical emergency can set you back and mess up your credit.
I feel my case is unique. I’m about to turn 38 and have lived with my folks off and on since becoming an adult due to various circumstances. It’s worth mentioning I’m an only child and have a good relationship with my parents. I’m also from a Mexican-Spanish family. It’s fairly normal to live with your parents until you can afford to move out either after landing a good job or getting married. That can mean well into your 30s. However, I’ve had a few financial issues and periods of unemployment and I don’t regret asking for their help. Frankly, I’d rather live with them than with total strangers or annoying roommates. Having said that, I’m very glad to have my own space and peace of mind now. I don’t mind seeing my folks every week when I feel up to it.
Yep! I’m Mexican-American. I make good money, but still live at home. My white boyfriend lives with us and he’s good with it. I feel no pressure at all to have my own place and I do not give a fug what anybody thinks. I love mi familia and I ain’t goin nowheres ey! (In the voice of George Lopez)
I love this; everyone's situation is different. I was in my late 20s and almost 30 and nowhere near six figures, and it worked out. Lessons about building independence can come at any age. I think some of us move out too soon. Homes are meant to provide a safe space to reset if needed. I understand everyone might not have the option, and grateful for my parents. Now I'm working to help them more as they age. We need each other.
😮I'm absolutely amazed and flabbergasted at the same time. Good luck with everything 🙏🏽
I think the experience is different for general non-white families, I know some POC relationships are toxic but usually we see POC staying home a little longer to save, especially when the space is there
Yup am Belizean and my parents are the same way. Praise God
The rush to move out is such a USA thing. Save some money and get as much financial understanding as you can. Your future self (and bank account) will thank you.
Truest statement ever. Young people want to be grown asap yet have zero financial stability. No savings for emergencies. It used to be 6 month rule to save money now it's a years worth of salary needed. Sleeping on peoples sofa's will only last for a short period, Sadly this is a USA thing, leave home broke and struggle. These jobs aren't paying enough for freshly graduated from college.
I'm in my 30s and I still live at home. A studio where I live is 2k+ now. If I moved out I'd need roommates or a spouse to share the cost with. Especially since alot of my money goes to medical bills. It's easier just staying with my parents and splitting everything 3 ways.
Damn. I need to go give my mom a hug. Cuz I'm GROWN and had to move back in for the time being and we do just fine. NYC is EXPENSIVE and Hotels do exist😅
I left home at 18 when I joined the Army. I have never went back. My kids can always come home when they need to, but you still can’t just do what you please. Especially if your not cleaning up after yourself. You don’t have to pay any bills, but you MUST clean the space you occupy. Period.
Back in the day,we could move out at 17.18.
Now, nope.
We working 8,9 jobs,just to barely afford to be homeless
I moved out at 15....but it was a must. If you have a home that is safe and healthy then stay. Some of us didn't have that option. Because I had to leave for survival and I had no choice but to figure it out.
My same experience. I left at 15. Been homeless several times. Still never went back, I'm now 38
I hope you both are able to flourish even further in life 💜
@@Lucie_PinkBandit yeah....I'm doing good. God has been so good to me...He put people in my path that hired me. One thing about growing up in survival mode is that it makes us very resourceful... good with money...hard workers... quick on your feet and creative. I thank the Lord that it hasn't made me too hard hearted and bitter....well not real bitter.
@@Lady_E me either. I never went back and there were times when I definitely could have used some help but God always made a way for me to do it myself. Now I'm doing much better than them. Glory to God...I'm ok.
💯❤️🩹
I got married and moved out at 18…my mama used to say 2 grown women can’t stay in the same house.. I get that now that my daughter is 18. Grown people need their own place to have peace.
After my divorce at 35, I moved in with my mother. She didn't charge me anything. I think living with family can be beneficial. Everyone can save and work towards something. I moved out because I was commuting over three hours and it just wasn't feasible. I love living with family and feel blessed we are close enough and like each other enough to do so.
3 hour total commute or 1 way? I was doing the D(M)V commute into DC. That will WEAR on you. Was about 2hr45 mins total a day.
My mom has told me that I’m more than welcome to stay with her until either I’m married or well enough financially to buy a house. We get along fine and I honestly don’t see myself ready to get in a relationship any time soon so that works out for me😊 I’m gonna encourage my future kids to do the same when that time comes, and put in the effort from day one to make sure we have a positive relationship. As long as they are productive and not doing crack or some shit they can stay with me as long as they need.
Love this. I didn't make six figures until I was 49. Could not stay at home that long.
I moved out at 17. Every time I attempted to move back in with my parents it was a mess. At one point my mom moved in with us. 🙅🏾♀️ Can't share my home with any adult other than my husband.
My kids are allowed to stay until the are stable enough to fly out of the nest. But if they can't mentally handle it, I totally understand.
Same here. My mom moved in with us and it was an absolute disaster!!! I would never, ever, ever dream of moving HIS mother in!
I was actually in my late 20s when I FINALLY moved out on my own. I struggled for nearly three years. Then my aunt and uncle (parents adjacent) asked me to move in with them for half of what I was already paying in rent. It was a blessing. The three of us made our own little family within a family. I did have that moment when I had to respectfully (and one time not respectfully) assert myself with them and let them know I was no longer a child. But all in all, we got along, they were there for me when my mother passed away. I was grateful to have them. My uncle has recently passed away too and even though he could work a nerve like no one else, I miss that joker.
Everyone's relationship with their parents are different. We cannot judge others based on your life and experiences. Vice versa.
Yes I had a wonderful time living at home I was 31 years old when I moved out in 1991 yayyy still wasn’t ready like you said girl when them Bills came Oooo boy mamma can I come back please but no I stayed my rent frist 175.00 yes 1 bedroom big it was nice place lived there 11yr.❗️👍💯👏👏👏now 64yr boyyy how rent have changed oooo miss my mom n dad soooo much 😢
I got married at 22, so of course my husband and I left our parents homes,and found a place of our own.
…And I’m very happy to say that after 34 years of marriage, we never had to move back into to our parents house.😊
Our daughter moved out after she graduated from college cause she found a good job.😊
Happy Endings, Twin.
Love that for you
Same here! We got married at 20 & 21, its been 38 years and we've always maintained our own residence!!
Miss, we will count your daughter's story not yours. You did not understand the assignment. Rent on a studio is $2,600 today! When you were 22 you could've bought a mansion paying that much a month.
My daughter just turned 18 and was happy to say she is living her best life in a tiny house on our land. That neck roll and I am grown started 3 months before her 18th. I could NOT she had to go but unfortunately one bedrooms here are almost 1800 a month so I bought her a home to have peace! Parents' mental health matters too 😂😂❤
What state is that
I’m 27 and.. welp…
And no I’m not out here “sleeping with anyone” so there’s that..
I also use a wheelchair to get around. I have to live here.
Left for my own because I was finally able to afford my own at 32. My parents are lovely, have supported me financially and emotionally. But as an adult woman, you need your own space, you just do, even though it's common in Caribbean households for adult children to live with their parents well into adulthood. If have kids I will prepare them to leave the house sooner than I did because I was playing games with my money lol. I'm grateful I'm able to afford living alone which I believe helps you connect with yourself, but I'm not going to push any of my future kids out of the house either.
That’s a STRONG HELL NO!!! I tried a couple of times for savings purposes. My MENTAL HEALTH is much more important to me than some 6 figures.
More power to those whose parents are built different.☺️
Exactly. I wholeheartedly believe we get to have prosperity in mental health and finances. My peace and autonomy are priceless lol
Parents can be more of a hindrance than of any help. Im glad i moved out when I did. I can finally have my own independence
Move out permanently at 20 and struggled. I mean, STRUGGLED for years. But the proudest day was when my Mother visited me in the first house that I bought all by myself. (Unfortunately, my father had passed.)
Sorry for your loss. I'm sure your Dad would have been proud! 😊
Thanks.@@theswych
Hell No...I couldn't wait to get out of there. I was packed and ret to go in 11th grade. As soon I walked across that stage, I WAS GONE.
My mother lost her mind! I was out and headed to Boot Camp at 20. I thrived. And only shared what I wanted my parents to know. It's been like that ever since.
That's so relatable. One of the happiest periods of my life was being in college and working crazy hours. Why? Because even though it was demanding, I didn't have someone looking over my shoulder as if I was a teenager every few minutes. It was freedom.
My parents and I had great relationships, but at 18, I joined the Navy and never went back. I left home a new boyfriend that eventually became my husband of 35 years. But I always felt like I could go home if I needed to.
Stayed until 30, when I could buy my own house! My parents and I split all the bills three ways.. it was a great deal for me and I was able to save money.. The parent dynamics changed as I got older they would call me there roommate and all chores and stuff like that was also based on when someone wanted to do it, they legit stopped asking me to do stuff. I think you just have to have the right parents and it could work fine. It did for me at least.
I'm fifty. I'd still be living with my mom! Making six figures is not a reality for most people.
I lived with my mom and sister until I bought a house. It was a 3 family house so we all moved in together. We rented 1st level, my mom and sis lived on the 2nd level and I occupied the 3rd floor. It was a great arrangement
My son is 17 and he's moving out next week. He's off to college.
We had to move back to my grandparents house during the pandemic and baaaabbbyyy, NOPE. NOT AGAIN. Please Yah.
Between them, mom, aunt, uncles all up in my business, I miscarried a child. The stress was unreal. I'm loving them from a distance now.
Dang. Sorry to hear that.
That's cold to blame that in them.
Jesus be a fence!!!
@@cynthiahillian jesus can be the fence and the backyard with the pit bull in it. Cause we need reinforcements, bytch.
@@InnerRiseStress absolutely can cause such a terrible thing like that. We don't know what her relatives were like.
I left at 17, came back at 35 after a divorce. Living there was too expensive: paying rent to share 1 bathroom with up to 5 people, being subjected to mood swings, having to do dirty chores after I just washed my hair, constantly being belittled and criticized out of the blue. NO! I needed to get the hell on somewhere. And when I was able to, I did.
Stayed home a year after graduating college. It wasn't bad parents let me save $.Bought a car (Dad bought 1st one) and a small townhouse. GOD been ooowee good haven't been back and have bought 2 houses since. Taught kids (twins) how to budget $ and be responsible. HS graduation bought each 2nd hand car. Now after college and working both just bought their own brand new 2023 car and in 6 months will be buying 1st 🏡. I think you teach what you learned and start early. I'm ok with giving your kids a running start as long as you teach them as well. Be an example 😉
THIS! love your comment... *Be An Example*
Let me just tell it like I feel….. if my mom was living I would definitely be living with her…… I’m a whole grown woman but the “struggle is real’ being grown and responsible is a lot!!!! I’m just saying there’s nothing like having stability!
I had great parents, me and my brothers had no problem staying a little extra longer with them until we were stable
No sisters !?!? 😮😮😮
Thank you ❤ I left home at 18 when I moved away to college and loved it. Budgeting for the unexpected and keeping the unexpected events at bay is how you adult. Save like no one is going to catch you and pay your bills months in advance. I know I can’t live with my parents because… So I became independent and made it work. ❤
I think this is the mature way to live. ❤️
@ShadowtherSerpent358 Hi, she left when she went to college. So, I advise you to go to college or enroll in trade school to secure a nice paying career. You can train to be a welder, electrician, LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). IT- Information Technology, such software developer or as cyber security, that is a booming field with lots of opportunities and potential for high wages.
❤😂 I went into the Army at 18 but when I finished at 22 I came back to my parent's house. Stayed until I was 31. I'm retired now and No I never made 6 figures but in the 80s and 90s things were not as expensive.
I was blessed to have a good relationship with my parents and I took care of them until they passed away. 😢
I moved out at 22 and have NOT been back since! 😮💨 My parents and I are like:
-Oil & Water
-Water & Electricity
-Spaghetti & fried fish
WE JUST DON’T MIX! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😭😮💨
I’ve been homeless, slept on other people’s floor, couch, in my car, but I AINT GOIN’ BACK! 🫠
Now, wait a minute. You can't have spaghetti without fired fish. I learned that when I moved out.😂
My dad is actually my landlord he actually has been for the past 12 years, but we DON’T share any living space otherwise I wouldn’t live there, plus this is the only actual time I’ve ever resided under the same roof as him, it keeps us closer he does tend to be a little bit nosier than usual but he’s up in age now, plus he has a RING doorbell camera for security purposes, which might I add seems to watch my comings and goings more than what’s actually going on‼️… But there’s nothing else to worry about WE’RE at complete peace and I love it‼️🤣🤣🤣
After college, mom told me I could stay as long as I need to. Wanted to move out around 25, but the way the cost of living is set up, it didn’t happen til 36, when I finally bought a house.
👑 18 then married at 19 📖 moved into a rooming house pregnant got an apt before the baby came nooo be on Your Own You'll Catch the rhythm of being an Adult 🙏🕊
It's the folding chair in the background for me...
I peeped that 😂😂😂😂
Rent really is too high, though! Stay at home until you have down payment for your own home. Don't just stay home and spend all your money on fancy cars and clothes and IG-worthy vacations. Stay home to BUY A HOME! I just told this to my friend's son. If I had stayed home just one more year and bought a home, I'd have a home free and clear today instead of 10 more years on my mortgage.
Moved out at 18. Couldn't wait to be gone! $350 a month salary & barely scraping by. But nothing was going to keep me under someone else's roof. I'm 66 btw.
I was 19. There’s no amount of anything that would make me stay at home until I made six figures. I love my folks but I needed my own space.
This definitely depends on your dynamic with your parents. I stayed home until I finished college. I was only required to focus on school
Left at 18 for Active Army. Haven't lived at my mom's house since. And I wouldn't have it any other way. She's ok, it's just better to have my OWN house. ❤
It all depends on the parents and the home environment.
I lived with my parents until I was 23 and out of college. My parents wanted me to stay and save money, but they were strict and I couldn't take it anymore! Still being treated like a kid in my early 20s. I had to LEAVE. Cause what I look like telling my friends in my 20s that I had to make it home in time for curfew????
"You can't be too grown in mama and daddy's house!" Amen to that EJ.
Was kicked out. I was old tho like 24-25. Moved back in around same time and my mental health was compromised during that time. I should have chosen to figure it without trying to go back home. When I left for college should have been my last experience as a permanent resident of my mothers house. But to God be the glory I survived and grew from my actual experience.
Sometimes it's hard for parents to see their kids as adults when they are still living in their house ... that alone will make any 22 year old fresh out of college to hurry up and move. I've also noticed that people that live at home longer lag in maturity or growth.
When you opened the letter!!!! Oooooo I was triggered. My Gawd.
I waited until I received my MSW which was age 35. I made the choice that was BEST for me. Cause when your mind is an adult, it’s not going back. The funny thing is the expectations follow you, I still clean in Saturdays and wash dishes daily lol
I am and I grossed 6-figures in my business during C-19 & bought a Benz. Other cultures around the world already practice multi-generational households. Im grateful my black parents understood the assignment! But I also understand our culture has a lot of growing to do so although this is me and my sibling’s experience, we know it is not for a majority! Prioritizing your life changes the game! If you want alone time do a weekend getaway with your bae! We all financially contribute in the home btw!! We just finished renovations and looking at more to come. But y’all do what y’all want….
Are y'all Caribbean descent though? I feel most of us have parents we can stay with till time comes.
@@jamasian Hi, No, We are Aborigine American of the south.
Same here. My son is 27 with his own flourishing business and us still with us and contributes. When he threatens to live my husband would say ta go where? Boy save ya money n buy some property or duplex or sumtin! We're bahamian its the norm for many of our kids to live with us til they marry. By that time they're often moving into their own homes by then.
It's not just a matter of culture. It's also a matter of space lol. Also family dynamics and priorities. If multiple siblings can stay home well into adulthood without all those adults being on top of each other, then that helps make it easier. But also, some people just want their own space, all the time, not just a weekend here and there. Your situation is awesome, but some people just don't want that, even if it's an option. I don't make six figures yet, but I love having my own home and going to see my parents once or twice a week.
Just wondering where the noted “Benz” come in at 🤦🏾♀️? That’s some of our problem as a culture. We want to floss, before we are really financially stable. Maybe you are good, but that drop just seemed unwarranted in the conversation.
Left at 17 and couldn’t wait to get outta there 😂 I joined the military, but still. It was better than livin with mama and daddy.
As a 20 year old that still lives with her mother I am currently trying to get independence. Love my mother but being on time for church and nothing else is a NO for me. It is the bills over mama right now, and um miss ma'am is trying to keep me home (as a free maid, servant, and cooker)-I gottas go😂
I’m grateful to have a great relationship with my family ❤
24 with 6 figures and currently looking for a place to rent because babyyyyy living with my mom is not for the weak
My sister went away to college at 18. I went to community college and stayed with my parents. Graduated nursing school and moved out at 22. My parents didn't nag me to move out but I was ready. But my rent was $415 in 2004. I worked, went back to school and got my Bachelor's degree. Got my house at 26 on my own. It was a blessing. But, it's very difficult to afford rent as a single person right now. I definitely encourage these young folks to get their priorities straight to set themselves up to be able to take care of themselves. If they stay with parents, be productive and stack your change and prepare to get out on your own. Love my parents to death, but live with them again at my age, absolutely not.....😂🤣💜
We need a skit when Shaneedra might have to move back to momma house! I can see the wig flappin now 😂😂😂
I left home at 21, though our mother always said to make sure we were well established with a job, savings, purchase all of our furniture, purchase a car, household appliances and other items; this way we’d have nothing but bills to pay when we moved out. My brother did exactly that and bought his first piece of property before he moved out after coming home and staying a few years after being in the military . I just wanted to move I LOVED my mama ,but no I wanted my own😂. I did come back once for a hot minute with 2 kids, quickly regrouped, moved again and maintained. At the age of 34 I was married, with 4 kids and had 4 real estate properties. Every parent should want their kids to move out and experience life. Trial and error will happen, it’s life. Having a good support system is good but not to the point kids won’t and can’t be responsible not being able to stand firm in life. Sadly parents die and nobody is gonna love your kids like you. Our parents died in peace knowing “ My babies are blessed and holding their own in life with the Lords help” and we are. Thanks Mama and Daddy! RIHP❤
Baby never! I graduated in May was outta there by October of the same year. That was 20 years ago. I get it. There is a huge difference in the exit plan of 2004 and the exit plan for young adults today. God bless them all. Been a home owner since 29 can’t imagine living with my parents a single day past 18.
said with the confidence of someone with healthy and good family relationship. like bruh....
I graduated high school, and I moved out at 17... been on my own ever since. I'm 47 now and have 4 adult kids... they all moved out once they turned 21. I made sure that they saved money. I didn't want them to struggle the way I did (to a fault 😢)... though I have no regrets. Every experience made me the strong woman that I am. I'm now on my last one, she's 20, in college & working, saving her money. I'm not rushing her out... I don't know how to live alone 😢 I never have had to live alone. 💔 😢
Making 6 figures is very hard to do right out the gate if you acheive it all. I lived with my parents till I was about 24 and they did charge me rent but not at first it was only after I completed college and it was only 300. They gave the money back to me when I moved out at 24 with my then boyfriend. Living on your own after high school is pretty rare because it's very hard to make enough of a salary to support yourself at such a young age. everything is expensive when you pay for it yourself so I def think it's more commplace to move out later or else you just have to live with roommates, if your into that
I moved out a year ago at 29. I honestly stayed way too long. I could hear a lot of my past experiences in this video. Looking back, I can acknowledge that I thought I was grown, and I wanted to live my own life. I had to pay money to live there, and assumed I had more of a tenant role, not a child role. The lack of privacy and control were frustrating. It's odd that parents love to tell children that when you’re 18, you can do whatever you want. The “and move out of my house” is silent. I wouldn’t go back home even if I was homeless, and I had a scare with that at one point. Life on your own is hard, but if you can make it work, it's so rewarding. Pay the money you need to for your peace.
My parents never told me I could do what I wanted at 18. It was always "Our house, our rules. When you get your own house you can do what you want." So I followed their rules until I was 25 and couldn't deal with it anymore lol
I dated a guy who couldn't for the life of him see that he was still a kiddo in his parents eyes. You put it correct it isn't a tenant landlord it's a parent kid. It was inappropriate at his age, he just couldn't fathom paying rent and living in his own. He missed out on his 20s and 30s cause he had parents to answer to regarding career, relationships, finances, ECT. I regret to say despite him being great he just was severely behind. 😔 I moved to college at 18 and never moved back in, my parents strongly encouraged independence and got you on a month of rent if you slip but, you better make something shake soon. I love providing and relying on myself and answering to MYSELF.
@@Andrea.P. I hear your comment so much. At times, I do look back and mourn my twenties a bit. There were trips I wanted to go on, friendships I wanted to cultivate, and hobbies I missed out on, trying to stay in my family's good books. Life is so different when you are accountable to yourself, in good ways and bad. I wouldn't have it any other way though.
I'm all for adult children staying home longer, however, there must be some kind of plan in place to move on in the future. Staying with your parents until you "get on your feet" "get your life together" or "get stable" is a little too vague for me because someone could milk that forever. I have family members who stayed home until their 40s, 50s, and even 60s while still trying to "get their life together". Realistically, when does it end? From what I've seen, staying home too long causes some people to get too comfortable and lose initiative. I know life is tough at times, but we all must learn how to deal with it. You can't hide at home indefinitely and expect to be protected from the world. The other thing to consider is the lifestyle of the parents. We always hear about the benefits of moving home for the child, but what about the parents who are maintaining the home? Living with an adult child may also be an adjustment for the parents, too. I know this doesn't apply to everyone and if this situation works for both you and your parents, great. I'm just saying there is a fine line between helping and enabling when it comes to our kids.
Heckkkk naw!!!! I had to go!!!! …. I had to move back in with my parents cause I fell on hard times while transitioning between colleges!!! …. They were fine but I have myself a deadline!!! I like my freedom!! I like my freedom!!! 😂😂😂😂
I moved out at 17 but moved back when my mom became ill, and my dad needed help with her. After she passed, he asked me to stay. I stayed until I inherited my nieces. Eventually, we bought a house across the street. It is all about the dynamics. Communication and boundaries are key. I know this wouldn't work for everyone, but I enjoyed my time with dad and the girls and I enjoy living together.
In my family it's the norm to live with your parents for your entire life if not married. Some who are married still live with their parents. Who owns the home and pays the bills may change, though. I'm thankful for this type of set-up because of the mental health & developmental issues I'm dealing with, It would be hell on my own. I do make good money. I'm well beyond the normal move-out-on-your-own age. We share in the costs of owning of and upkeep of this home. At my parent's age, it's now a situation of we take care of each other.
Growing up, the rule was as long as you're working or in school, you can stay. Even when unemployed, I stayed and looked for a job every day.
Simply..."no ma'am. no ma'am." I left at 18 and the longest I was ever home was three weeks when life blew up and I had to go back and face the problem. I worked long and hard to say " I pay the bills here, do as I say."
that's what my grandma used to say!! You got me in tears, no lie 🤣😂
I was 19 when I moved out of the house and never looked back. Now my parents are in their 80’s. My siblings and I take turns visiting to help them out.
We told our son that he can stay, but he must pay us rent. The rent will go directly into an account for him, so that when he’s ready to leave we’ll match it and he’ll have a down payment for a home or other big purchases. This will give him good practice in paying bills and being responsible.
I left at 18 to go to college and, with God's grace, never went back. 🙌🏽 When I go home to visit, I get a hotel room. I love my Mama dearly but...nope. She watches the news cycle 24/7, gets irritated when you are uninterested, lectures you non-stop on WWJD, and wants a full background check on any of your friends and a full itinerary when you leave the house. Oh, and any "gentleman callers" have to stay in the living room. Can't do it. 🥴😂
I moved away at 19. My sister and I were roommates and I learned from all the mistakes we made. I lived on my own at 28 and it's the best thing to have solitude.
October will be 1 year that I have been on my own. I was 36 when I brought my house. The oldest and only girl I stayed with my mom mainly due to her health conditions and the insecurities that i thought I had. I got to the point where i had to sit down and speak to a therapist who highly suggested that i get my own place and helped me to recognize the signs of a narcissist. Mental health is very important.
Left home at age 20 with a 4 month old son, a $269 car payment, making $11,500 a year. We survived, but if I could do it again I would’ve stayed at least until he turned one and allowed my parents to keep helping with my baby. I’m 51 now and my son is 31. Could he stay until he earns 6 figures? Negative. I love my son, but not like that. 😅
😂😂😂
"Not like that" 😅😅
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂 I felt this in my soul. I moved out at 22 my son was 3 months. Im 46 now he's 24. He had to gooooo, couldn't do it!
Truthfully we are still figuring it out
The hotline was my great-grandmother. Done complained about me to the whole family, but I moved in for the sole purpose of helping her out.🙄 I had to move out, she ended up hospitalized and eventually they sold her house and kept her in a facility. The family wanted me to continue to help her out, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Cause while she was talking about me like a dog calling me "silly like her mama" the family was busy believing it. Some even started popping attitude towards me based of her words. Naw, fam one of y'all can do it. She eventually passed. God rest her soul. I do miss her.
OMG YES!! 😂😂😂😂😂I was 19 and moved back in @ 27 because was really sick and my dad needed help(a break) but less then a year I moved upstairs in the apartment complex so I can still help her because parents was driving me and my daughter crazy. My mom passed away in 2021. 🕊️ now I’m 30 so happy I moved back and helped my mom before she passed away.
I am 29 and I moved out almost 5 months ago. I waited as long as I could to save money by staying with my dad but it was killing my spirit. I'm an only child and it was hard for my dad to comprehend that I may still be his child but I am not A child. My boyfriend of 5 years proposed and I was like, WELL, this is my out! I had also started a new job making a bit more money at that time, and I've had so much peace ever since.
I moved out at 20 and never been back since. Can’t do it. Even visiting for too long be too much 😂 but I love my mom!
I stayed home until 28 and moved out about a month ago. I dang near had a heart attack once that rent was submitted too 😂 My parents live out in the middle of nowhere so between the hour and a half drive it's literally impossible to save up. I wish I could have stayed home longer but some parents are just too toxic to do that. I miss my family terribly but I love my peace of mind more
Staying with your parents as an adult teaches you a lot more about yourself and them as they age ….❤ so if you are have prayer and much patience with you and them
I attempted this at the beginning of the covid lockdown(unbeknownst to me the world was ending) and it was torture. I’m greatful I was able to reset at my moms home since I am always able to go home, but our living dynamics do not align and it was hard to lower my house rules to respect her house. Mentally it did take a toll on me as I was grieving a relationship that ended which is why I moved back home. Thankfully, again I can always go back home and do for the holidays, but I need my own home. I do believe in giving my children the option to stay as long as they need to in order to save up to purchase a home. I had this option, but mentally I couldn’t do it.
I moved out at 28 for my own mental health. I don't need or want to make 6 figures. I just want to be financially stable and mentally sane.
Whew chile! I feel seen! I moved back with my mama after I got divorced last year and I thought it would be cool because we’ve always been close but baybee! I’m about to pull my edges out on a daily basis. Once you’ve been the lady of your own household it’s hard to go back. My mom is really passive aggressive so she ain’t gon come out and say it but she gon let u know in the most dramatic way that she don’t like the way you do things. And greeeeeedy. Usually older ppl eat like lil birds but not my mama. Every time I cook she lifting up my lids staring in the pots or just lingering and watching( which is my pet peeve) I come home from work and she ain’t cooked nothing but looking at me like “what’s for dinner?” Not to mention she got a mini fridge in her room w/ hidden snacks but when I buy groceries she asking for “just a lil piece” of everything. And yes I pay rent, buy my own food and toiletries and pay my bills. It’s tough. But soon as I get the chance I’m getting the hell on! 😂 Love you mama but I’m just keeping it real 😅
Writing this felt like therapy☺️