The way they lingered on her crying after the breakup was ROUGH. That was the sound of grief and it brought me right back to the worst heartbreak of my life. I feel for her and hope she can find people who elevate her rather than take advantage of her optimism. That includes Hannah being a toxic ‘friend’.
Me to… Just like you I went RIGHT back. I know EXACTLY how she was feeling in the moment. Like someone was crushing her heart in their fist, while stealing all the air in her lungs.. Well if she actually felt like me haha.. I wouldn’t want to make assumptions
I had the same reaction. I felt so bad for her and it brought me right back to how intense those feelings are. It was heartbreaking. And seeing her cry about it at the reunion was heartbreaking too
I had to fast-forward that part and it still made me shed a few tears out of empathy. I hate that they showed so much of her breaking down, it felt exploitative.
I’m going to play devils advocate and say I think this heartbreak was self inflicted… she could feel where he was in the relationship accurately. She took the time to express it and ignored it.
I was disappointed with Ramses especially when I think about how he seemed in the pods. Anyone else peep when Marissa was like “a lot of men leave or cheat on their wives even they get really sick” and he just went “yeah that’s a good point” instead of idk reassuring her he wasn’t like that😂😭
Hmm idk he did acknowledge and agree with what she said without offering up a rebuttal. Would a reassurance really help anything? People swear vows and still break them...
I didn't hear that when I initially watched it. It's fair though if she has chronic health issues and that's something he needs to consider before committing long term.
I think the breakup felt more painful because he used the exact language she told him about in the pods. It’s like she fed him the perfect excuse to back out. He doesn’t seem like the type to be forthcoming with his true feelings.
Ramses “I will HELP YOU in the house, to make YOUR load as easy as possible” I think they are both new to exploring gender roles because they wanna question it but they both still feel it like a favour to the woman to “help”, you are not helping, it’s your house too 😂
Thank you! That is excatly what I noticed about that conversation. "Helping out" isn't taking just as much as the responsibility 😅 Ramses seems the kind of guy that fights traditional gender roles by putting on lots of jewellery and alternative clothing. But deep down he hasn't really done the work it takes.
Ramses seemed unwilling to compromise on several things: military, using condoms, her bubbly personality, her health issues. I didn’t like how he seemed to be saying that it’s a big problem if she doesn’t feel good enough for sex one week out of the month
@lanagustafson1700 Marissa cleared this up. They weren't discussing condoms or nothing. They were discussing different forms of birth control. In the larger conversation, she made him aware she'd been using cycle tracking/natural birth control, which he would help her track so they could be extra safe.
I really hope that Love Is Blind would hire a relationships therapist like Steph to help the contestants on their journey, that would elevate the show to another level!
I was a little bothered my Marissa defending Hannah… NOT because she was defending her but more because I really felt they beat up Nick together. It felt like her frustration with Ramses was being channeled to Nick. She didn’t want to go off on Ramses because she most likely still had feelings for him so she unleashed on Nick while supporting Hannah.
@@LawChatsWithMadelinethe reunion is always filmed a little over halfway through the season. So most of it is out, but the final 2/3 episodes aren’t out yet. I wish they would wait until all the episodes are out though bc that would give a better reunion imo
Ramses screams noncommittal. Everything he said made me feel that he was leaving something out. Marissa seems like she is in such a rush to brush things under the rug. They are better off separated, but like you’ve said, there are major moments we could have missed that could have given the audience more comfort in them as a match.
I live right by baltimore, and let me tell you. just driving around baltimore can make a 15 minute commute turn to an hour real quick. going from baltimore to DC daily is alot. she needs an award for that commute.
I’ll admit I was on the anti-Ramses bandwagon for the “energy is too much” breakup. I appreciate you bringing a different perspective, and acknowledging that someone’s energy could literally be a mismatch for you. However, I feel like you phrased it better. Saying there is a mismatch of energy doesn’t leave the other person feeling like they have sort of deficit. Saying “your energy is too much” makes it seem like who you are as a person is not ok.
I genuinely feel like she is "too much" simply because she has needs. He's exhausted and flustered by the slightest inconvenience or push back. My ex was exactly like that. And he would also tell me I was too much. Maybe I'm projecting, but that's how it appears to me.
I feel like when Ramses says he's scared of hurting her, I feel like he can sense Marissa falling for him harder than he is. He's still pretty hesitant about it and she's already willing to have babies with him
Which makes the no condom thing even nastier. How dare he ask her for that when he knows damn well she would do anything to make him happy. And he never did agree to wearing one. They were doing it raw and tracking her cycle. How dare he risk getting her pregnant when he wasn't 100% about her! I'll never believe he was ever all in on their relationship.
A lot of these men come on the show for clout and their 5 mins of fame, not to truly be a husband. So when they see that these women are serious, they’re like “whoa slow down little lady” 🙄
The irony was that Ramses hurt Marissa enormously with this break up. Exactly what he said he didn't want to do if they got married. Many conversations needed to be in the pods with these two to weed the red flags.
Its definitely less hurtful to break up before you get married. And hes right theyre not compatible and if marissa didnt want to get married so much shed agree too.
I know you went hard on Ramses for not being more open to Marissa's service, but in the pods, she did lean very heavily anti military. She spoke about how when she understood her role in harming people, it made her sick. Which is why she left the military. It's then very much in the opposite direction to then say she was proud of her time in service 😅 It made me wonder if she only said those things to appeal to Ramses inside the pods who was very open about being anti military. It makes me think Ramses had a different perspective of Marissa in the pods to propose. He did say that if she rejoined the military, their relationship would be over.
two things can be true at once, i believe she has empathy and is aware of how horrific the us imperialist system is, but she is also struggling to disconnect her identity from her military service since she's been indoctrinated by that mindset since she was 2!
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 I agree. I think she can hold both of these perspectives as true. I don't think that means someone else can't see the fallacy in that.
I think she was naive and he’s not who he’s pretending to be. He wanted to come across as this uber liberal sensitive guy and he’s actually uncompromising and I 100% believe he’s a serial cheater he gives off very much “you weren’t meeting my needs so I had to get them met elsewhere”
And he'd guilt you for it, too with his emphasis on empathy. Probably with something like, "You made me feel so unwanted that I ran to someone else to feel desired. I want a partner that shows enough empathy to not do that to me."
@@Discrete1998yep. I mean it is slightly interesting to me as someone who studies astrology that with the double Leo, he wouldn’t match her energy more. I’d be curious what the rest of his chart is like. I dated a Cancer sun Leo rising and he was just like Ramses; I was really into him, he was really *attracted* to me, acted like he liked me too, told me that he really liked me, that he wanted to be with me, but in the end he got another girl’s number right infront of me at a bar. I’ve never had someone lie to my face and do me dirty like that.
The US really normalizes war. Which makes It difficult for people to understand that conversation. If I dated someone who said what they did in the past is a yellow flag, but then later speaks highly of it, I'd also be confused like Ramses .
100% agree, the war talk in the US is also weird to me. I get the confusion, but I felt like he wanted to punish her for being there in the past. When you are dating someone you have to accept their past and their present values, he was trying to “change her”, and that never works long term
I’m very much against the military too, but I also think that if someone grew up on bases, is friends with other people in the military, was a child of people in the military, I would avoid them in the first place because I know my strong opinion could offend them even if that person is no longer active. Ramses deciding to marry her without discussing something that’s clearly a dealbreaker is quite strange to me
I 100% agree with you on how you feel about Ramses. I was confused on why people were so mad at him. I did not fault Ramses other than him not being forthcoming with how he felt, but I felt that he was valid for letting her know that. I myself have been steamrolled in a relationships where the energy was too much but I stayed and lost myself. I completely dimmed myself for someone else, so I really understood where he was coming from. Thank you for shedding light on that because this was really hard to watch and see people's responses ❤
I do feel the need to point out: Ramses doesn’t SAY the US destabilized Venezuela, the US HAS destabilized Venezuela. This is a fact that he has a right to acknowledge and ensure they are on the same page about.
Agreed! Lots of ppl ignore the fact that our government constantly pokes its nose into other countries business. He wasn’t being anti -American. He was just stating his truth from the perspective of someone who experienced it firsthand
Marisa is super nice and seeing her crying when Ramses broke up with her broke my heart. However, I disliked her attitude in the reunion. Defending mean girl Hannah? Hell no.
It wasn't hypocritical of ramses to propose knowing she served, they seemed to be on the same page in the pods and she expressed feelings of remorse or regret. She said she felt sick when she realized the part she was playing in the system. It was a belief that he held and was lead to believe that she shared until that conversation. I hope we can understand his tone, he was quite literally caught off guard with an uno reverse card.
I never understood Marissa's stance on the military. It seemed like she can criticise the military but nobody else can. She was adamant that she didn't believe in their philosophy but got offended when Ramses did.
I think it's because she was explaining her experience and he was judging and kept saying you signed up for that and in simple terms people sign up for stuff all the time not knowing the full extent of it. It's the same for a lot jobs. His judging made her go in defense mode when she was just explaining what made her go into and what made her step back and how it effects her now.
@@porshawilliams136 you can't blame him for that tho. The power imbalance in that conversation are nowhere symmetrical. He is a Venezuelan, he saw his country get destroyed and the refugees that came into the US get actively demonized. His parents likely came in as refugees too. Americans faced one foreign attack- 9/11- and went on a blood fueled frenzy to go to war in Iraq- which had nothing to do with 9/11 anyway so imagine how he must have felt. In her situation she was indoctrinated and was poor I think it's fair to explain that but she also came off was way more proud of the military than in the pods. Bringing it up so often when they were in Cabo was so icky- I mean bringing up your job or past jobs so often is already very icky in the first place. All things considered he was being graceful in that conversation. That being said Ramses was pretty shitty to her by giving all these false reassurances. Dude is scared of commitment, and because of his one progressive stance he knows what are the right things to say but with the whole contraceptive talk implies clearly he is very selfish and disingenous. If he is so against gender roles and super progressive, why is he even on such a heavily gendered dating show about getting married so soon?
@@Briellakiss27 well no, it’s more like if her family killed his family, and then she gets mad whenever he criticizes them 😂 as a victim of US imperialism, he has the right to say whatever he wants about the military in my book
I appreciate your balanced view on Ramses as I share it. i agree that he should not have come to the show, propose to someone who was or might still be in the future in the military, and especially withhold his doubts. I also agree that he did the right thing by breaking up with her prior the wedding.
I think ramses is lost. He mentioned several times that he was “going in different directions”; he quit college after his father passed away, he got a divorce for a similar reason, and then he didn’t continue his relationship with marissa. He doesn’t want commit and overthinks things. He’s looking for something perfect, which does not exist. This is life, you have to just live it all with its positives and negatives, or you will not actually “live”. But yes, he made the right decision to break up. Differences in core values is major.
I had the impression that Marissa was desperate to be married and have kids, and that brought her to ignore the obvious red flags and even accept the risk of getting pregnant before they were even remotely ready. I wonder if her mormon upbringing played a part in that, even if she rejected it, it might still influence her on a subconscious level.
Agree. It was giving bandaid baby energy, almost wanting to have a baby more *because* the relationship is clearly going wrong. I think a lot of women struggle with those thoughts so cannot judge but it's interesting.
I feel like it's a shame that people lack self awareness to the point where they bring other people down with them. There's nothing wrong with Marissa's level of energy, but I know myself well enough that I know that level of energy is too much for me. That's something Ramses should've been able to identify day 1....
As someone who is neurodivergent I relate to her so hard like idk if she is but the experience of people really liking u at first but then getting tired of u is so real..
I was really enjoying Marissa and Ramses's relationship and then I was a little heartbroken when he told her that she was "too much" because that was her living out her biggest fear in the relationship. And also, I'm typically bubbly and have been told that Im too much before and it was hurtful to watch. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective, helped me understand Rameses more and allow for more grace for him. I love your videos ❤❤️
You're "too much" for people who are easily exhausted by you having needs like the 3 dimensional person you are. Ramses was so easily exasperated by the slightest push back from marissa. He can go find less.
I think Marissa struggles with adhd and it can be very challenging for other people to tolerate. I have adhd too and can be very "bubbly" too but being medicated has definitely taken some of the edge off.
As a bubbly person, it breaks my heart to hear bubbliness talked about like it’s a pathology that needs to be medicated away until we become as boring, dead, and low energy as the rest of the normies around us 🙄 is that really a superior way to be? And she was in the military, so clearly it’s not like she lacked discipline or the ability to focus on work, etc. when needed (which seems to be part of the reason kids are treated for ADHD).
@onedirectionlover317 💯 I'll just say it, Ramses is a bummer who knew marissa would outshine him EVERY SINGLE TIME. Point blank. SO many men cannot handle that. Insecure people will ALWAYS try to knock you down a peg.
If it makes you feel any better, I’ve always been super calm and felt insecurities around not being “enough” I feel like ppl always prefer bubblier women. Since that’s more of the stereotypical attitude that a woman is supposed to have..? Not sure. But in either case we can’t win can we 😂
When you watch it back like this, Ramses never seemed all that into her. When he said he was more concerned about the marriage than the wedding, he was saying that he's not sure he wants to take the step. He wasn't a supportive partner in so many situations. This was a mismatch. 100%
I do not believe Marissa is upbeat all the time. I believe she like many women learn how to be performers to receive love, validation, and attention from their parents. You will see that show up in their relationships, career, school, friendships. No one is a one dimensional being. Unfortunately Marissa was raised to be a people pleaser due to a critical, strict possibly unpredictable childhood and absent father.
I’m a bit similar to her and I actually think this is why she keeps encountering men who go off her after a while. In the beginning all they see if a bubbly, sweet person and they come in idealising that aspect of you and when reality hits and they see you stressed, sick or having a bad day, the illusion breaks and they find a reason to get out. Still struggle with it myself 😅 but I’m trying to be authentic and not one dimensional despite my childhood conditioning making me appear that way, hopefully she can make sense of the pattern in a way that helps her 🙏
@hoobeshoobes i started to let people know i often need space to recharge. Establish your boundaries with self first, then others. Communicate even if it's difficult. Move your body.
Was waiting for your video. Loved it. I will say that I can understand your point on not being as annoyed with Ramses (I think at the end of the day he made the best choice for him knowing who he was). I think my main annoyance with him was that as you watch the show, his energy and body language gradually changed with every challenging conversation they had and it was clear he had doubts and he wasn’t honest about it (I can only imagine what Marissa was going through dealing with that in real time), and him presenting himself as someone that has emotional awareness, it was annoying seeing him not be honest with his feelings and in the end led to her being so crushed by it.
26:47 when men talk around the issue that’s when woman begin to try and read between the lines . Because why does focusing on your relationship have to conflict with you helping Marissa plan your event that has a set due date? It would make me think he’s really trying to say “I’m second guessing us and I don’t want to be involved in a wedding I’m not sure I want to have so I want to focus on if we’re a good match” but instead of saying that speaks around it
I do think his reason for not focusing on the wedding was a cop out too! I think it’s because he already sensed he wasn’t going to marry her and therefore wasn’t feeling super motivated to plan something he knew wasn’t happening.
I'm concerned about guys like Ramses believing and/or trying to make the world believe that they are 100% deconstructed. I want to believe that a different masculinity is possible. But guys, none of you is there yet, it's a process, probably a nevernding process. Ramses saying "I hear you" all the time doesn't mean that he was actually hearing nor listening. And, ultimately, he ended up hurting her the same way as an plain toxic masculine guy would have: by misleading her about who he was and what he wanted, and by using her wounds and fears in his favor. I don't think she is perfect and I definitely wouldn't marry a pro-military, but I still root for her in this one.
@@Discrete1998so true, I learned the same about myself so I have strict rules about no sex and just building a friendship with men im interested in until I am sure they’re in it for the long haul
@@victoriahowells3006he literally kept telling her that everything was okay and that he wasnt having doubts… thats probably why she didnt see it coming.
28:26 When Ramses said he was " focusing more on the marriage " I took it as he wanted to make sure he wanted to still get married. Him not having interest in planning because he wasnt even sure he wanted to marry her. Someone thats sure should be just as excited as you js.
i think her mom understoof that merissa is quite naive despite her age and didn't trust her to make a reasonable decision so quickly no matter who it was
While Marissa said that Ramses should not have done the experience I think she needed a lot more healing before entering into love is blind. She clearly has a significant trauma history and while that doesn’t mean that you can’t find love it seemed like a lot of it has not been proceed. She may have a “big energy” but I felt like I was struggling to find her sense of self. It felt like her role was to be a mediator and make sure everyone was happy. My assumption is this is what happened on the pods, where she came off as agreeable, and out of the pods she felt safe enough to voice her opinion, but in doing that she ended up contradicting things she may have said in the pods (such as her view on the military).
15:05 : On video at least, Marissa and Ramses did not sit seriously on their differences and disagreements. Their conversations were so often "yeah yeah. No yeah" .. When you hear that it often seems that neither one was being convinced or changing their mind.
her mother was such an ick to be honest. Even in the reunion she was trying to imply Ramses was gonna leech off of Merissa and I am just like where are you even getting this anxiety from?
I find it interesting that Marrissa’s mother who seems like a straight shooter called her own daughter “bossy”. She said she couldn't live with her. Something even her boyfriends couldn't do based on Marrissa’s words. And her mother’s personality is so opposite Ramses! Ramses tip-toed around her with important conversations. He made bids of assurance during important conversations but her lack of making eye contact, and distant body language made him even more nervous. He changed his discourse based on her responses.
@@mmem4264 The guys in Habibi were crazy bad. Only a few seemed decent but then unfortunately they still engaged in the Bro culture amongst all of them. So even when some guy was obvi insane like Simo, they still stood up for them. It was so whack to watch. It was Bros before Hoes no matter what that bro had done.
@@blove12345 I agree. Despite how rough around the edges she is, she's clearly protective of her kids, and I'd be happy to have her in my corner for that, as well as her honesty- never have to guess where you stand w/ her (it seems)
@@katrinetroelsenshe needs help. You can be perceptive and honest without being blatantly rude. That’s like Hannah excusing her emotionally abusive behavior as “I’m just honest”.
@@atbvipAs a mom and daughter who married the wrong guy… I think the rudeness was the mom trying to clearly display she was against it for the daughter. Though when you’re this far into the poop, you won’t register the obvious.
Ramses was a whole lotta talk for absolutely nothing to show for it. I mean telling Marissa’s mom, “You learn about about yourself in a marriage” or something like that as his validation for his divorce… he was just throwing around platitudes😂 and Marissa’s mom was like you think you’re gonna throw platitudes at ME??😂😂 Marissa feels very hurt to me. I think she’s been running from her past for a long time the way she talks about men, especially men in the military, gender roles, religion. I feel like she’s never had positive love from a man! It made me sad for her and curious what happened in her upbringing to make her hate tradition, religion, and masculinity.
I’m glad you said it I also thought Ramses is a hypocrite. Everything about what he says is then changed in another instance or his actions doesn’t match. He believes wealthy people are unethical which they can be but that can be applied to any amount of money, bc someone will always have less money than another.
It would be so cool if you included what a couple can say to each other healthily when they come across some of these conflicts in their relationship from a couples therapist perspective 😇
ramses wasn't trying to help plan a wedding bc he knew he didn't wanna marry her. but couldn't say it. I feel he was spending more time thinking about if he wanted to be with her fr or not.
Omg I agree 100% with the commute. I went from a 2 min commute to a 40 min commute one way and over an hour back home and on top of that I still have the same commute on my days off when I have to take and pick up kids from school. I feel so exhausted mentally and physically. I’m really struggling
Oh Steph, I really appreciate how you approached navigating this relationship because I know so many people have a lot of opinions and are especially hard on Ramses. Hearing the way you navigated this showed me that a part of my assessment and how I navigated that process is likely tied to me being a therapist, too lool. I genuinely think that both Ramses and Marissa cared about and for each other, but it was clear that there were some challenges they may not have been able to work through and remain a couple. Neither of them was fault-free. In my opinion, I think that as the episodes came out, many viewers had a negative perception and view of Ramses and continued to view a lot of their relationship and him through that lens regardless of any other context present - they had it and were primarily focused on continuing to fuel it. Hearing and reading interviews post the show has for me, added some definite appreciated context, and while I agree that Ramses could’ve been more forthright, I don’t think he was maliciously leading her on. He could’ve definitely maneuvered things better in their relationship especially when it came to communication and having a difference in opinion - some of how he did it was genuinely unpleasant and unkind. As for the sex conversation, some important aspects of that weren’t aired, which is something they’ve both said post-show air, and I think that edit fueled some of the negative perception of Ramses as well, which is quite problematic in my opinion. Like you said, and I agree with you, it’s better to end things before the wedding, and as hard as it was, Ramses did that. I felt for Marissa in their breakup - it SUCKS to feel like you’re too much. And, like you aptly said, he wasn’t saying Marissa herself was too much, but rather that their energies weren’t compatible for him, which is a great differentiation to make, though very often hard to hold and come to, so thank you for that. Regarding the reunion, I think the issue a lot of people had with there was that it felt as though she wasn’t speaking up as strongly as she could’ve regarding Hannah’s harmful behaviour towards Nick, and I can get why they would. As for Marissa and Ramses, I wish them both the absolute best. 🙏🏾 Thank you for this video Steph 🖤
24:19 Marissa said in an interview she has tracked her cycle for a long time and Ramses downloaded the app and synced with her so he would know about her cycle.
This was the most difficult relationship to watch this season simply because I felt like the signs were there, from opposing values to foreshadowing their insecurities I just think Marissa really wanted it to work this time. I’ll admit I was disappointed in Ramses during the breakup but you made a great point about people being human and how you can’t really hate them for making the decision that was best for themselves! I hope they both eventually get what they are looking for 🥺
Ramses and Marissa was a roller coaster. I thought they both said yes to each other in the pods based on muted and idealistic versions of themselves. Marissa seemed to shift her stances significantly once they hit the real world. And Ramses shut down significantly once he was confronted with the reality of making a marriage to Marissa work. I think that a big thing for both of them was the mom. That mom was an asshole. I think she sabotaged the relationship. I feel like the way the mom treated both of them was part of a big shift. Marissa is in a toxic relationship with her mom and the way mom treats Marissa is part of why Marisa has such chronic issues. I think a big part of the breakup that was not mentioned or covered at all was that maybe it's the unrecognized abuse perpetrated by the mom that might have been the reason that Ramses thought Marissa was to much. Like not Marissa herself, but all her baggage. I thought Marissa was super hypocritical in the reunion. Hannah acted very much like Ramses in the way she was uncompromising and withdrawn. I think Hannah was also very much like Marissa's mom and that relationship had sooooooo many red flags.
I really appreciate your perspective as usual. I was rooting for Bohdan, too! I forgot about the back-handed compliments, or didn't catch them the first time. Your insights and advice for how to deal with different issues that couples face are so helpful. I was disappointed in Ramses for the condom convo and thought he presented a version of himself that didn't really exist. But your analysis has me reconsidering that. I disagree that people critize Marissa for bringing her energy to defend Hannah - maybe you're reading different comments that point to her energy as the problem. But for me and most comments I've seen, it wasn't the energy Marissa brought to it that was the problem. She helped Hannah attack Nick and reverse victim and offender; you can be supportive of your friend without attacking someone else who isn't even the problem. Hannah didn't need defending from Nick. He wasn't doing anything to hurt Hannah at the reunion - he tried to be nice to her.
I feel like Ramses and Marissa are the most relatable couple to many young black people who are figuring themselves out and have a ways to go in terms of communication and balancing standing with your convictions while loving the person and staying curious on something that shouldn’t always be a deal breaker to the extents we make them
Thank you so much for this. I found them to be a really interesting couple to watch. I am in the early stages of therapy training and your videos are so valuable to me. I appreciate the time it must take for you to do the research and then to put these together. I always feel very happy when I see a notification pop up that there’s one on its way ❤
I can tell you the exact moment Marissa’s energy became too much for me. It was during the reveal. I distinctly remember her being on 10…so much so, that I was like, “Girl, relax!” That’s not to say anything is wrong with her, but, I just don’t think her energy is for everyone. I do agree that Ramses should’ve been more forthcoming about his feelings, but at least he ended things before the wedding. And Marissa’s mom was so rude! Who knows…maybe she played a part in Ramses’ decision to break things off as well.
to me, Ramses' concerns about how hurt his ex was and Marissa's energy were superficial things that covered up his fears (avoidant style) that was a HIM problem not a relationship problem. I think his issues with his father have not been worked out
I'm 50/50. I like that she is direct and passionate, but she seemed misandrist to me. It was telling that her sons didn't seem to speak at all, almost as if they'd been verbally abused and felt like their voices didn't matter.
I disagree with Ramses on a lot of things but on the part where everyone is saying he should've been honest with Marissa that he was having doubts- perhaps he didn't even realise that he was having doubts subconsciously. Maybe he took a while to process his feelings and ended up not having the exact, correct words to express why he was breaking up with her so he said the first thing that came to mind. At the end of the day he did the most important thing which was to break it off instead of marrying her which wouldn't have been fair to either of them.
My last job’s commute was similar to Marissa’s and it actually wore me down. I was sleep deprived almost all the time and it affected me in a lot of ways to a point where I lost my job due to deterioration in my performance. It really put things into perspective when my clinical supervisor also said that I would get 12 hours of my week back if I didn’t have to commute for as long as I did
This is a fantastic video! I really appreciate how you openly acknowledged that you didn’t take offense to Ramses’ decision to break up with Marissa. I agree with many people that it was heartbreaking to see her heartbreak. However, I don't believe he should be painted as the villain for ending the relationship. Yes, he could have been more transparent about his doubts with her sooner (if he had them, and it seems he did) rather than reassuring her over and over. But he was not wrong or bad for feeling like their energies didn't match. People want to internalize him saying that as a personal attack, but it wasn't. Maybe this is a weird analogy to make, but I think a lot of people could relate to it: When someone says they're more of a dog person, that doesn't necessarily mean they dislike cats or think they’re terrible; it just means that dogs better fit their lifestyle and personal preferences. Ramses simply said her energy didn’t match his, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s actually healthier for him to be honest about his feelings, wants and needs in a relationshi, both with himself and with her. If he had suppressed those feelings, it could have led to resentment and emotional distance if they stayed together. This doesn’t mean her energy is bad or that she’s somehow flawed-just that they weren’t the right match for each other. That’s not a reflection of her worth!
Honestly, I feel like she had a lot of "energy" for him. He was being honest and did what was best for both. Marissa really did not like him either. She was forcing herself to like him and was devastated by him "rejecting" her. It was not a rejection; it was clear they would not work in the long run. Marissa's mother should be relieved that it did not work.
I 100% agree with you on the perpective you shared of Marissa at the reunion- she was defendinf her friend, and at that time she hadnt seen the show so she didnt see how horrible Hannah was to Nick behind the scenes, which she later addressed. Im not upset Ramses ended it- afterall, it totally makes sense to me to NOT want ro get married after simply 2 months together. I was upset about HOW he ended it. He blindsided her. He didnt voice those doubts and pressing concerns he'd apparently had throughout the relationship. Instead, he told her he was going to marry her. He said they were good, and most importanly he said she wasn't too much for him. You could tell when she asked him in the pods that that part was very important to her, and then he went back on that and fking crushed her during the break up. I wouldve been less annoyed with him if he hadnt even said that part, at least not during the break up. My heart broke for her when he said that, and Im more like Ramses than Marissa. His lack of transparency just made things way messier than it needed to be, and she was blindsided and crushed.
I don’t get it, I thought Marissa regrettted her military time when she spoke in the pods or was slightly embarrassed or needed a way out. So when she came out and spoke like maybe there’s a chance she’d go back I would look at her a little funny too, to me she does seem like she doesn’t always stand for her beliefs in order to be agreeable and liked . But that’s just an opinion
Nah, I 100% agree. And you can't fall back on finances as an excuse for being okay with military service if you'd also be supportive of your kids joining the military even though you'd probably be in a position to provide for them well enough such that they never HAVE to join such an institution ruining innocent lives worldwide (if you DO truly have any remorse for the awful things they've done, like you claim you do). Then using finances as an excuse is just a cop-out to gain sympathy. For me that was a major warning sign. Can't blame Ramses for not wanting his kids to be raised enthusiastic to join the military.
Thank you for your insight! I was looking forward to a more in-depth evaluation of how Ramses expressed himself during the "condom conversation" (as I think he didn't do a good job there at all and showed how his view of equality in the relationship is more flawed than he might realize).
I perceive that Marissa's mother has contempt for men which would have affected their marriage. She definitely has misandry even saying that she would "castrate" Rameses. I thought Ramses handled her disrespect very well by not reacting to it. I am glad that he didn't marry Marissa because he would have subjected to her verbal abuse during their marriage. I also liked that Ramses broke up prior to the marriage to avoid embarrassing Marissa. I wished that he had told Marissa about his doubts earlier, but I can understand that disclosing his doubts earlier would have alarmed Marissa and may have sabotage their relationship. As for Marissa defending Hannah. I don't like her triangulating into Hannah's and Nick's relationship. Defending a friend means supporting them privately, but intervening is not helpful.
Killed it yet again, but what is new?! I feel so much like Marissa. I hate that Ramses didn't seem as emotionally available, but that has a lot to do with him and less to do with her. I hate that she really personalized that rejection. I just hate that she had to experience so much heartbreak in this experience. You always bring up such great points, especially the physical touch/intimacy part and not demoting that need. I also really loved the callout with helping with the wedding and how that is such a cop out. Regardless, I so wish you were a fly on my wall and picking up on any of the trends, bright spots and areas of opportunity in my romantic relationship! Have a great evening and great job on this project!
Ramses was not ready to get married and made it clear that there were parts of the process that weren't going to be the way he likes to operate and feels like he kind of put some of that on her while also copping out and not having a ton of substance to the issues he did raise lol i dont know i didn't get a great vibe from him
I totally agree with the beginning of this video that commuting for a long time to a job or school can rob you of some good healthy time. One of my must haves (for life balance) when I get a new job is i must be able to walk home from my work place. Such a small thing, but huge when it comes to being stuck in traffic
@@onedirectionlover317 trust me I'm surprised too, yep, all my jobs have been within walking distance from my house. I think once you decide on what little things contribute to your everyday happiness you just make it happen....
@@creativeopinions8250that’s inspirational, because that’s something I want for myself. Having a short commute for me surpasses many things when j think about what I want in a job because it’d be one of the biggest things (besides actual job hours) that’ll dictate how much time I have left to take care of myself and do things that fulfill my heart and soul.
I’ve also been walking to work for the past year. Game changer to my physical health (it’s about 30 min walk each way so I get min 1 hour of walking on the days I go in) and also mental health. No stress of traffic or being late. And time outdoors where I can clear my mind
@@vnessawThis sounds like a wonderful lifestyle. Out of curiosity, can I ask what you do in the summertime if it gets hot where you live? I would love to have that kind of commute, but I'm afraid that in the summer I would get super sweaty and need to change.
One thing I’d love to learn is what is the right match for her type of personality. I don’t think I’ve personally met that type of high energy person so I’m not even sure how to understand one
To answer your question at the end I respected that he didn’t take her to the altar and humiliate her by saying no. I don’t like seeing that happen on this show, I think they should only go to the altar if they are both saying yes. And he didn’t say a thing bad about Marisa but I was curious as to why he didn’t want to continue a relationship with her at all?
The commute thing is very real I live in a state where there’s barely any traffic so when I went to nyc I was so stressed, overwhelmed and definitely felt like I lost a lot of time driving than actually seeing the city
As someone from outside the US (and we know why people join the military, its the same reason in other countries) and someone said "i support the troops" knowing what she knows. That would be an immediate out for me. There is compromise in discussions about things like having kids or where to live. Forever wars and genocide is a non negotiable ethical issue. She defo backtracked because she was anti-war in the pods
I think you misjudged Ramses. Marissa comes across as emotionally immature, insecure and naive. She contradicted herself when they discussed when to have children. Her mom was also unbearable and did not serve as a positive role model. She wanted her daughter to get a prenup as if she had a ton of money and Ramses was after her money. A bit ridiculous… She projected a lot of negativity and Marissa did not handle those situations very well either. Every time a conflict would arise Marissa didn’t know how to respond and they would carry on, until another issue would arise. Eventually they got to a point where they had several unresolved issues and Marissa didn’t know how to resolve them. Instead she insecurely asks Ramses repeatedly if he still wants to marry her because she’s afraid of being abandoned. She’s not even prioritizing how she feels or what is best for herself. I think she could have done more to understand Ramses perspective by asking questions (maybe she did but we didn’t see), instead she would get triggered and shut down.
So many thoughts but I'll leave it to a few: 1. Marissa chose her future husband over a friggin star sign, but apparently the other guy was worse than Ramses, so lesser of 2 evils, I guess? 2. The breakup felt extra cruel because I seem to remember her telling him guys leave her because she's 'too much', he reassures her only to turn around & do the same thing. 3. I cannot believe she willingly told the whole word, unprovoked, that she's silly and makes bad decisions. Not even the FBI would've gotten me to admit "I was still fucking that man" let alone *yelling it* and - the cherry on top - *_in front of my mother_*
33:01 I definitely agree! I wasn’t mad at him either. I think he did exactly what he was suppose to which is go through the experiment and fully assess whether you can live happily in a marriage with this person
Thank you I truly enjoy your perspective and I constantly am reminded when I listen to you how balanced you view these dynamics… it also reminds me of how judgmental I can sometimes be which as an empathetic listener needs to be monitored.
I wonder if someone says that people can't tolerate them after 3 months... If isn't because perhaps the people they're with felt like there was a bait and switch. Bubbly and cheerful and accommodating at first and all the time, then moody and prickly and grumpy once they've secured a person.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t quite understand what Ramses meant by “your energy is too much.” From what we saw on the show, Marissa seemed pretty normal, so it would have been nice for one of them to clarify if she is just very bubbly all the time or super talkative all the time or what. I think he could have phrased that way better though, like Steph did here, by saying that their energies are not a good match rather than making her feel like she has a problem.
I was beyond sick and tired of their overuse of the word "like" in every conversation. I couldn't even focus on what they were talking about because they kept saying "like" after every other sentence.
And lately there are lots of people talking as such, I don’t know what’s that about . lol and considering their political views doesn’t surprise me either 😑🥴
@Deltadivaix "like" is often used as a filler word in the English language. It's not a marker of intelligence, that's a holdover stereotype of it being associated with the Valley Girl accent.
Watching Marissa and Ramses was tough a lot of the time. I noticed during their conflict, he would just shut down with a blank stare into her soul. She seemed like a nervous person talking to fill up the space where I think he should have stepped in and participated a little more, providing reassurance or AT LEAST defending his stance a bit. But it was pretty much over for me when she said she didn’t want to go on birth control, and his response was basically, “Well, it’s gotta feel good for me”, essentially saying, “You need to take on the medical ramifications for the sake of my pleasure.” Of course people think he’s a fake feminist. His whole stance was that he wanted to stand against toxic masculinity, then went and did the very thing to display it… worse than I think any man on the show did. I kind of wonder if they were battling a bit since Marissa was eager to get pregnant, but he should never have pressured her like that.
The way they lingered on her crying after the breakup was ROUGH. That was the sound of grief and it brought me right back to the worst heartbreak of my life. I feel for her and hope she can find people who elevate her rather than take advantage of her optimism. That includes Hannah being a toxic ‘friend’.
Me to… Just like you I went RIGHT back. I know EXACTLY how she was feeling in the moment. Like someone was crushing her heart in their fist, while stealing all the air in her lungs.. Well if she actually felt like me haha.. I wouldn’t want to make assumptions
I had the same reaction. I felt so bad for her and it brought me right back to how intense those feelings are. It was heartbreaking. And seeing her cry about it at the reunion was heartbreaking too
I had to fast-forward that part and it still made me shed a few tears out of empathy. I hate that they showed so much of her breaking down, it felt exploitative.
I’m going to play devils advocate and say I think this heartbreak was self inflicted… she could feel where he was in the relationship accurately. She took the time to express it and ignored it.
I had that flashback too it was heartbreaking. I cried for her
I was disappointed with Ramses especially when I think about how he seemed in the pods. Anyone else peep when Marissa was like “a lot of men leave or cheat on their wives even they get really sick” and he just went “yeah that’s a good point” instead of idk reassuring her he wasn’t like that😂😭
Yes, I noticed that too!!! My boyfriend and I were baffled and looking at the screen like, “… and??? AND????”
It felt like he stored that info to use it against her if he needed to. I honestly thought he was better than that.
Hmm idk he did acknowledge and agree with what she said without offering up a rebuttal. Would a reassurance really help anything? People swear vows and still break them...
I didn't hear that when I initially watched it. It's fair though if she has chronic health issues and that's something he needs to consider before committing long term.
I think the breakup felt more painful because he used the exact language she told him about in the pods. It’s like she fed him the perfect excuse to back out. He doesn’t seem like the type to be forthcoming with his true feelings.
Ramses “I will HELP YOU in the house, to make YOUR load as easy as possible”
I think they are both new to exploring gender roles because they wanna question it but they both still feel it like a favour to the woman to “help”, you are not helping, it’s your house too 😂
This! When I heard “help” 🚩
Thank you! That is excatly what I noticed about that conversation. "Helping out" isn't taking just as much as the responsibility 😅
Ramses seems the kind of guy that fights traditional gender roles by putting on lots of jewellery and alternative clothing. But deep down he hasn't really done the work it takes.
Very true! 😂
Yes exactly
Ramses seemed unwilling to compromise on several things: military, using condoms, her bubbly personality, her health issues. I didn’t like how he seemed to be saying that it’s a big problem if she doesn’t feel good enough for sex one week out of the month
The military I understand. That's a core value. The rest is just him refusing to compromise or adjust on his own comfort.
@lanagustafson1700 Marissa cleared this up. They weren't discussing condoms or nothing. They were discussing different forms of birth control. In the larger conversation, she made him aware she'd been using cycle tracking/natural birth control, which he would help her track so they could be extra safe.
@@869ofuncertainty...😅 that is the worst form of birth control. With the least success rate...
@@MariU9Yeah I agree, not wanting to be w someone who's a military head is so valid imo but the rest of their issues is not 😬
Totally agree
I really hope that Love Is Blind would hire a relationships therapist like Steph to help the contestants on their journey, that would elevate the show to another level!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
the fact that they dont tells me their true intentions with this experiment
I was a little bothered my Marissa defending Hannah… NOT because she was defending her but more because I really felt they beat up Nick together. It felt like her frustration with Ramses was being channeled to Nick. She didn’t want to go off on Ramses because she most likely still had feelings for him so she unleashed on Nick while supporting Hannah.
I completely agree. She and Hannah looked like mean girls
I think Hannah manipulated that situation. I dont think Marissa knew the whole truth of how Nick was being treated.
@@thisismyinferno I thought the reunion happens after the show airs and they get a chance to watch it.
@@LawChatsWithMadelinethe reunion is always filmed a little over halfway through the season. So most of it is out, but the final 2/3 episodes aren’t out yet. I wish they would wait until all the episodes are out though bc that would give a better reunion imo
Maybe that's the energy Ramses couldn't handle. Mean girl energy.
Ramses screams noncommittal. Everything he said made me feel that he was leaving something out. Marissa seems like she is in such a rush to brush things under the rug. They are better off separated, but like you’ve said, there are major moments we could have missed that could have given the audience more comfort in them as a match.
I live right by baltimore, and let me tell you. just driving around baltimore can make a 15 minute commute turn to an hour real quick. going from baltimore to DC daily is alot. she needs an award for that commute.
I did that commute one summer. It is soul-sucking. A 45 minute drive can take 3 hours.
I can't even imagine her doing that 5 days a week. I really hope she didn't have class everyday. And Ramses didn't even have to leave the house. 🤦♀️
@@caseyw.6550 right! with filming the show on top of all that
Dude when I heard her say that I was SHOCKED bc I also live near Baltimore, but used to drive from north or Baltimore to dc to visit family…….like
I’ll admit I was on the anti-Ramses bandwagon for the “energy is too much” breakup. I appreciate you bringing a different perspective, and acknowledging that someone’s energy could literally be a mismatch for you. However, I feel like you phrased it better. Saying there is a mismatch of energy doesn’t leave the other person feeling like they have sort of deficit. Saying “your energy is too much” makes it seem like who you are as a person is not ok.
Interesting I always translated it as you’re too hyper and extroverted….
I genuinely feel like she is "too much" simply because she has needs. He's exhausted and flustered by the slightest inconvenience or push back. My ex was exactly like that. And he would also tell me I was too much. Maybe I'm projecting, but that's how it appears to me.
I feel like when Ramses says he's scared of hurting her, I feel like he can sense Marissa falling for him harder than he is. He's still pretty hesitant about it and she's already willing to have babies with him
But being picky w/ contraception! 😂 The contradictions.
Which makes the no condom thing even nastier. How dare he ask her for that when he knows damn well she would do anything to make him happy. And he never did agree to wearing one. They were doing it raw and tracking her cycle. How dare he risk getting her pregnant when he wasn't 100% about her! I'll never believe he was ever all in on their relationship.
A lot of these men come on the show for clout and their 5 mins of fame, not to truly be a husband. So when they see that these women are serious, they’re like “whoa slow down little lady” 🙄
The irony was that Ramses hurt Marissa enormously with this break up. Exactly what he said he didn't want to do if they got married. Many conversations needed to be in the pods with these two to weed the red flags.
Its definitely less hurtful to break up before you get married. And hes right theyre not compatible and if marissa didnt want to get married so much shed agree too.
the curls are curling today girl 😍
Right???? They’re poppin’ 😍😍😍
I know you went hard on Ramses for not being more open to Marissa's service, but in the pods, she did lean very heavily anti military. She spoke about how when she understood her role in harming people, it made her sick. Which is why she left the military. It's then very much in the opposite direction to then say she was proud of her time in service 😅 It made me wonder if she only said those things to appeal to Ramses inside the pods who was very open about being anti military. It makes me think Ramses had a different perspective of Marissa in the pods to propose. He did say that if she rejoined the military, their relationship would be over.
True
I had forgotten about that. Good point.
two things can be true at once, i believe she has empathy and is aware of how horrific the us imperialist system is, but she is also struggling to disconnect her identity from her military service since she's been indoctrinated by that mindset since she was 2!
Absolutely agree. She seems very immature and naive.
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 I agree. I think she can hold both of these perspectives as true. I don't think that means someone else can't see the fallacy in that.
I think she was naive and he’s not who he’s pretending to be. He wanted to come across as this uber liberal sensitive guy and he’s actually uncompromising and I 100% believe he’s a serial cheater he gives off very much “you weren’t meeting my needs so I had to get them met elsewhere”
That’s exactly the vibe I got too
Yesss it wouldn’t surprise me if he wanted a polyamorous relationship
And he'd guilt you for it, too with his emphasis on empathy. Probably with something like, "You made me feel so unwanted that I ran to someone else to feel desired. I want a partner that shows enough empathy to not do that to me."
that type of dudes are the worst 🤣
@@ashleyholder2218 polyamory isn't cheating... there are consensual polyamorous relationships out there...
I just gotta say...Marissa finally picked Ramses based on his sign...juuust saying.
Which doesn’t make sense because cancer and Aries are so incompatible…
she explained in interviews that it was just edited that way
@@naturalebeing she’s an Aries?? 😭😅😂
I’m an Aries and my kids’ dad is Cancer/Leo/Leo so I found him so interesting to watch.
@@Discrete1998yep. I mean it is slightly interesting to me as someone who studies astrology that with the double Leo, he wouldn’t match her energy more. I’d be curious what the rest of his chart is like. I dated a Cancer sun Leo rising and he was just like Ramses; I was really into him, he was really *attracted* to me, acted like he liked me too, told me that he really liked me, that he wanted to be with me, but in the end he got another girl’s number right infront of me at a bar. I’ve never had someone lie to my face and do me dirty like that.
@@naturalebeingso disgusting wtf what a backstabber!
The US really normalizes war. Which makes It difficult for people to understand that conversation.
If I dated someone who said what they did in the past is a yellow flag, but then later speaks highly of it, I'd also be confused like Ramses .
US worships war unlike any other
100% agree, the war talk in the US is also weird to me. I get the confusion, but I felt like he wanted to punish her for being there in the past. When you are dating someone you have to accept their past and their present values, he was trying to “change her”, and that never works long term
@Soyunakaren agree. I just think the " I'm proud of what I did " when it's contributing to murdering people will just never be normal to me
I’m very much against the military too, but I also think that if someone grew up on bases, is friends with other people in the military, was a child of people in the military, I would avoid them in the first place because I know my strong opinion could offend them even if that person is no longer active. Ramses deciding to marry her without discussing something that’s clearly a dealbreaker is quite strange to me
@@miriammusembwa period.
I 100% agree with you on how you feel about Ramses. I was confused on why people were so mad at him. I did not fault Ramses other than him not being forthcoming with how he felt, but I felt that he was valid for letting her know that. I myself have been steamrolled in a relationships where the energy was too much but I stayed and lost myself. I completely dimmed myself for someone else, so I really understood where he was coming from. Thank you for shedding light on that because this was really hard to watch and see people's responses ❤
Glad I read this. These comments are crazy so it was good to see sanity.
I do feel the need to point out: Ramses doesn’t SAY the US destabilized Venezuela, the US HAS destabilized Venezuela. This is a fact that he has a right to acknowledge and ensure they are on the same page about.
Agreed! Lots of ppl ignore the fact that our government constantly pokes its nose into other countries business. He wasn’t being anti -American. He was just stating his truth from the perspective of someone who experienced it firsthand
And he is Venezuelan right?
Yes I noticed the emphasis on SAY as if it was just his opinion.
@@MariU9 thank you!
@@osheaeimear83 he is!
Marisa is super nice and seeing her crying when Ramses broke up with her broke my heart. However, I disliked her attitude in the reunion. Defending mean girl Hannah? Hell no.
Yea Nick was catching strays truly meant for Ramses. Like girl you don’t remember that man had you crying like you were in a 90’s r&b video?!
90s rnb video 😂
It wasn't hypocritical of ramses to propose knowing she served, they seemed to be on the same page in the pods and she expressed feelings of remorse or regret. She said she felt sick when she realized the part she was playing in the system. It was a belief that he held and was lead to believe that she shared until that conversation. I hope we can understand his tone, he was quite literally caught off guard with an uno reverse card.
I never understood Marissa's stance on the military. It seemed like she can criticise the military but nobody else can. She was adamant that she didn't believe in their philosophy but got offended when Ramses did.
this
I think it's because she was explaining her experience and he was judging and kept saying you signed up for that and in simple terms people sign up for stuff all the time not knowing the full extent of it. It's the same for a lot jobs. His judging made her go in defense mode when she was just explaining what made her go into and what made her step back and how it effects her now.
@@porshawilliams136 you can't blame him for that tho. The power imbalance in that conversation are nowhere symmetrical. He is a Venezuelan, he saw his country get destroyed and the refugees that came into the US get actively demonized. His parents likely came in as refugees too. Americans faced one foreign attack- 9/11- and went on a blood fueled frenzy to go to war in Iraq- which had nothing to do with 9/11 anyway so imagine how he must have felt.
In her situation she was indoctrinated and was poor I think it's fair to explain that but she also came off was way more proud of the military than in the pods. Bringing it up so often when they were in Cabo was so icky- I mean bringing up your job or past jobs so often is already very icky in the first place. All things considered he was being graceful in that conversation.
That being said Ramses was pretty shitty to her by giving all these false reassurances. Dude is scared of commitment, and because of his one progressive stance he knows what are the right things to say but with the whole contraceptive talk implies clearly he is very selfish and disingenous. If he is so against gender roles and super progressive, why is he even on such a heavily gendered dating show about getting married so soon?
It’s kinda like family. I can complain about them but you better not 😂 it’s also like judging someone’s parenting while not being a parent
@@Briellakiss27 well no, it’s more like if her family killed his family, and then she gets mad whenever he criticizes them 😂 as a victim of US imperialism, he has the right to say whatever he wants about the military in my book
I appreciate your balanced view on Ramses as I share it. i agree that he should not have come to the show, propose to someone who was or might still be in the future in the military, and especially withhold his doubts. I also agree that he did the right thing by breaking up with her prior the wedding.
I think ramses is lost. He mentioned several times that he was “going in different directions”; he quit college after his father passed away, he got a divorce for a similar reason, and then he didn’t continue his relationship with marissa. He doesn’t want commit and overthinks things. He’s looking for something perfect, which does not exist. This is life, you have to just live it all with its positives and negatives, or you will not actually “live”. But yes, he made the right decision to break up. Differences in core values is major.
I had the impression that Marissa was desperate to be married and have kids, and that brought her to ignore the obvious red flags and even accept the risk of getting pregnant before they were even remotely ready. I wonder if her mormon upbringing played a part in that, even if she rejected it, it might still influence her on a subconscious level.
Agree. It was giving bandaid baby energy, almost wanting to have a baby more *because* the relationship is clearly going wrong. I think a lot of women struggle with those thoughts so cannot judge but it's interesting.
I feel like it's a shame that people lack self awareness to the point where they bring other people down with them. There's nothing wrong with Marissa's level of energy, but I know myself well enough that I know that level of energy is too much for me. That's something Ramses should've been able to identify day 1....
When I see StephAnya’s videos, I click ❤
Same!
Her mom tearing down how Ramses looks even criticizing his NATURAL hair as a “Geri curl”….wow. Meeting her family would have been enough for me
That was probably the pivotal point for him but he just didn’t know how to say without her getting defensive about it
As someone who is neurodivergent I relate to her so hard like idk if she is but the experience of people really liking u at first but then getting tired of u is so real..
That might play into why she's so forthright about certain things
Triggers😢
I was really enjoying Marissa and Ramses's relationship and then I was a little heartbroken when he told her that she was "too much" because that was her living out her biggest fear in the relationship. And also, I'm typically bubbly and have been told that Im too much before and it was hurtful to watch.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective, helped me understand Rameses more and allow for more grace for him. I love your videos ❤❤️
You're "too much" for people who are easily exhausted by you having needs like the 3 dimensional person you are. Ramses was so easily exasperated by the slightest push back from marissa. He can go find less.
I think Marissa struggles with adhd and it can be very challenging for other people to tolerate. I have adhd too and can be very "bubbly" too but being medicated has definitely taken some of the edge off.
As a bubbly person, it breaks my heart to hear bubbliness talked about like it’s a pathology that needs to be medicated away until we become as boring, dead, and low energy as the rest of the normies around us 🙄 is that really a superior way to be?
And she was in the military, so clearly it’s not like she lacked discipline or the ability to focus on work, etc. when needed (which seems to be part of the reason kids are treated for ADHD).
@onedirectionlover317 💯 I'll just say it, Ramses is a bummer who knew marissa would outshine him EVERY SINGLE TIME. Point blank. SO many men cannot handle that. Insecure people will ALWAYS try to knock you down a peg.
If it makes you feel any better, I’ve always been super calm and felt insecurities around not being “enough” I feel like ppl always prefer bubblier women. Since that’s more of the stereotypical attitude that a woman is supposed to have..? Not sure. But in either case we can’t win can we 😂
When you watch it back like this, Ramses never seemed all that into her. When he said he was more concerned about the marriage than the wedding, he was saying that he's not sure he wants to take the step.
He wasn't a supportive partner in so many situations. This was a mismatch. 100%
I do not believe Marissa is upbeat all the time. I believe she like many women learn how to be performers to receive love, validation, and attention from their parents.
You will see that show up in their relationships, career, school, friendships.
No one is a one dimensional being.
Unfortunately Marissa was raised to be a people pleaser due to a critical, strict possibly unpredictable childhood and absent father.
I’m a bit similar to her and I actually think this is why she keeps encountering men who go off her after a while. In the beginning all they see if a bubbly, sweet person and they come in idealising that aspect of you and when reality hits and they see you stressed, sick or having a bad day, the illusion breaks and they find a reason to get out. Still struggle with it myself 😅 but I’m trying to be authentic and not one dimensional despite my childhood conditioning making me appear that way, hopefully she can make sense of the pattern in a way that helps her 🙏
@hoobeshoobes many ways to be transparent about yourself without sharing too much with others.
@@liftedenergy3693 🙏
it’s not a balance I get right tbh, any advice?
@@hoobeshoobes be kinder to yourself. No one has everything figured out.
@hoobeshoobes i started to let people know i often need space to recharge.
Establish your boundaries with self first, then others.
Communicate even if it's difficult.
Move your body.
Was waiting for your video. Loved it. I will say that I can understand your point on not being as annoyed with Ramses (I think at the end of the day he made the best choice for him knowing who he was). I think my main annoyance with him was that as you watch the show, his energy and body language gradually changed with every challenging conversation they had and it was clear he had doubts and he wasn’t honest about it (I can only imagine what Marissa was going through dealing with that in real time), and him presenting himself as someone that has emotional awareness, it was annoying seeing him not be honest with his feelings and in the end led to her being so crushed by it.
26:47 when men talk around the issue that’s when woman begin to try and read between the lines . Because why does focusing on your relationship have to conflict with you helping Marissa plan your event that has a set due date? It would make me think he’s really trying to say “I’m second guessing us and I don’t want to be involved in a wedding I’m not sure I want to have so I want to focus on if we’re a good match” but instead of saying that speaks around it
I do think his reason for not focusing on the wedding was a cop out too! I think it’s because he already sensed he wasn’t going to marry her and therefore wasn’t feeling super motivated to plan something he knew wasn’t happening.
I'm concerned about guys like Ramses believing and/or trying to make the world believe that they are 100% deconstructed. I want to believe that a different masculinity is possible. But guys, none of you is there yet, it's a process, probably a nevernding process. Ramses saying "I hear you" all the time doesn't mean that he was actually hearing nor listening. And, ultimately, he ended up hurting her the same way as an plain toxic masculine guy would have: by misleading her about who he was and what he wanted, and by using her wounds and fears in his favor.
I don't think she is perfect and I definitely wouldn't marry a pro-military, but I still root for her in this one.
100
He WAS being whiny about wearing a condom. 🙄
Why couldn't they just have had non-penetrative sex?
To me they never seemed compatible, it always seemed like he wasn’t that into her, I don’t understand why she was so shocked when he ended it?
I feel like their physical intimacy clouded her judgement
Denial I think, sadly for her :/
@@Discrete1998so true, I learned the same about myself so I have strict rules about no sex and just building a friendship with men im interested in until I am sure they’re in it for the long haul
@@naturalebeingsame I fall in love if it’s hitting 😂 that’s why I could never play games
@@victoriahowells3006he literally kept telling her that everything was okay and that he wasnt having doubts… thats probably why she didnt see it coming.
28:26 When Ramses said he was " focusing more on the marriage " I took it as he wanted to make sure he wanted to still get married. Him not having interest in planning because he wasnt even sure he wanted to marry her. Someone thats sure should be just as excited as you js.
At first Marissa’s mom seemed awful but by the end I understood her attitude. She peeped something about Ramses that we didn’t see as viewers.
i think her mom understoof that merissa is quite naive despite her age and didn't trust her to make a reasonable decision so quickly no matter who it was
While Marissa said that Ramses should not have done the experience I think she needed a lot more healing before entering into love is blind. She clearly has a significant trauma history and while that doesn’t mean that you can’t find love it seemed like a lot of it has not been proceed. She may have a “big energy” but I felt like I was struggling to find her sense of self. It felt like her role was to be a mediator and make sure everyone was happy. My assumption is this is what happened on the pods, where she came off as agreeable, and out of the pods she felt safe enough to voice her opinion, but in doing that she ended up contradicting things she may have said in the pods (such as her view on the military).
ykw this makes alot of sense. She is quite naive and is a bit of a people pleaser.
15:05 : On video at least, Marissa and Ramses did not sit seriously on their differences and disagreements. Their conversations were so often "yeah yeah. No yeah" .. When you hear that it often seems that neither one was being convinced or changing their mind.
I personally feel that Marissa's mother was trying so hard to appear tough, cool & strong.
Very unattractive
her mother was such an ick to be honest. Even in the reunion she was trying to imply Ramses was gonna leech off of Merissa and I am just like where are you even getting this anxiety from?
When Ramses said "I like to help and reduce your load" in the pods, I was like... "Help?" You also live here!!!!
I find it interesting that Marrissa’s mother who seems like a straight shooter called her own daughter “bossy”. She said she couldn't live with her. Something even her boyfriends couldn't do based on Marrissa’s words.
And her mother’s personality is so opposite Ramses! Ramses tip-toed around her with important conversations. He made bids of assurance during important conversations but her lack of making eye contact, and distant body language made him even more nervous. He changed his discourse based on her responses.
As soon as she told him her fear he knew what to do when he dumps her smh never tell guys your traumas they will use it against you later
For real! Something similar happened in LIB Habibi. She told him what would hurt her and he did it. 🤦🏽♀️
Good guys won't use your fears against you
Idk if he was using it against her, I can see him genuinely feeling like that. It was a self fulfilling prophecy it seems.
@@mmem4264 The guys in Habibi were crazy bad. Only a few seemed decent but then unfortunately they still engaged in the Bro culture amongst all of them. So even when some guy was obvi insane like Simo, they still stood up for them. It was so whack to watch. It was Bros before Hoes no matter what that bro had done.
@@katrinetroelsen yea terrible no wonder Arab guys are generally jerks compared to other cultures
Totally agree about Ramses! You can't fault him for changing his mind. I was glad he broke up with her before the wedding, too.
I would NEVER want Marissa’s mom as a mother in law. That lady needs much help
I agree ☝🏽 but one good thing is that she is gonna give you the truth. I’d rather that than someone talking crap behind my back 😹😹😹
@@blove12345 I agree. Despite how rough around the edges she is, she's clearly protective of her kids, and I'd be happy to have her in my corner for that, as well as her honesty- never have to guess where you stand w/ her (it seems)
does she need help or is she crazy perceptive and tired of people being willingly blind or naive?
@@katrinetroelsenshe needs help. You can be perceptive and honest without being blatantly rude. That’s like Hannah excusing her emotionally abusive behavior as “I’m just honest”.
@@atbvipAs a mom and daughter who married the wrong guy… I think the rudeness was the mom trying to clearly display she was against it for the daughter. Though when you’re this far into the poop, you won’t register the obvious.
Ramses was a whole lotta talk for absolutely nothing to show for it. I mean telling Marissa’s mom, “You learn about about yourself in a marriage” or something like that as his validation for his divorce… he was just throwing around platitudes😂 and Marissa’s mom was like you think you’re gonna throw platitudes at ME??😂😂 Marissa feels very hurt to me. I think she’s been running from her past for a long time the way she talks about men, especially men in the military, gender roles, religion. I feel like she’s never had positive love from a man! It made me sad for her and curious what happened in her upbringing to make her hate tradition, religion, and masculinity.
I’m glad you said it I also thought Ramses is a hypocrite. Everything about what he says is then changed in another instance or his actions doesn’t match. He believes wealthy people are unethical which they can be but that can be applied to any amount of money, bc someone will always have less money than another.
It would be so cool if you included what a couple can say to each other healthily when they come across some of these conflicts in their relationship from a couples therapist perspective 😇
ramses wasn't trying to help plan a wedding bc he knew he didn't wanna marry her. but couldn't say it. I feel he was spending more time thinking about if he wanted to be with her fr or not.
Omg I agree 100% with the commute. I went from a 2 min commute to a 40 min commute one way and over an hour back home and on top of that I still have the same commute on my days off when I have to take and pick up kids from school. I feel so exhausted mentally and physically. I’m really struggling
I went through that girl. Time for that pros and cons list to determine if it's really worth it. In the end I decided it wasn't...good luck 😊
Oh Steph, I really appreciate how you approached navigating this relationship because I know so many people have a lot of opinions and are especially hard on Ramses. Hearing the way you navigated this showed me that a part of my assessment and how I navigated that process is likely tied to me being a therapist, too lool. I genuinely think that both Ramses and Marissa cared about and for each other, but it was clear that there were some challenges they may not have been able to work through and remain a couple. Neither of them was fault-free.
In my opinion, I think that as the episodes came out, many viewers had a negative perception and view of Ramses and continued to view a lot of their relationship and him through that lens regardless of any other context present - they had it and were primarily focused on continuing to fuel it. Hearing and reading interviews post the show has for me, added some definite appreciated context, and while I agree that Ramses could’ve been more forthright, I don’t think he was maliciously leading her on. He could’ve definitely maneuvered things better in their relationship especially when it came to communication and having a difference in opinion - some of how he did it was genuinely unpleasant and unkind. As for the sex conversation, some important aspects of that weren’t aired, which is something they’ve both said post-show air, and I think that edit fueled some of the negative perception of Ramses as well, which is quite problematic in my opinion.
Like you said, and I agree with you, it’s better to end things before the wedding, and as hard as it was, Ramses did that. I felt for Marissa in their breakup - it SUCKS to feel like you’re too much. And, like you aptly said, he wasn’t saying Marissa herself was too much, but rather that their energies weren’t compatible for him, which is a great differentiation to make, though very often hard to hold and come to, so thank you for that.
Regarding the reunion, I think the issue a lot of people had with there was that it felt as though she wasn’t speaking up as strongly as she could’ve regarding Hannah’s harmful behaviour towards Nick, and I can get why they would. As for Marissa and Ramses, I wish them both the absolute best. 🙏🏾
Thank you for this video Steph 🖤
Thank you for your long, elaborate and differentiated comment!
24:19 Marissa said in an interview she has tracked her cycle for a long time and Ramses downloaded the app and synced with her so he would know about her cycle.
This was the most difficult relationship to watch this season simply because I felt like the signs were there, from opposing values to foreshadowing their insecurities I just think Marissa really wanted it to work this time. I’ll admit I was disappointed in Ramses during the breakup but you made a great point about people being human and how you can’t really hate them for making the decision that was best for themselves! I hope they both eventually get what they are looking for 🥺
Ramses and Marissa was a roller coaster. I thought they both said yes to each other in the pods based on muted and idealistic versions of themselves. Marissa seemed to shift her stances significantly once they hit the real world. And Ramses shut down significantly once he was confronted with the reality of making a marriage to Marissa work.
I think that a big thing for both of them was the mom. That mom was an asshole. I think she sabotaged the relationship. I feel like the way the mom treated both of them was part of a big shift.
Marissa is in a toxic relationship with her mom and the way mom treats Marissa is part of why Marisa has such chronic issues. I think a big part of the breakup that was not mentioned or covered at all was that maybe it's the unrecognized abuse perpetrated by the mom that might have been the reason that Ramses thought Marissa was to much. Like not Marissa herself, but all her baggage.
I thought Marissa was super hypocritical in the reunion. Hannah acted very much like Ramses in the way she was uncompromising and withdrawn. I think Hannah was also very much like Marissa's mom and that relationship had sooooooo many red flags.
I really appreciate your perspective as usual. I was rooting for Bohdan, too! I forgot about the back-handed compliments, or didn't catch them the first time. Your insights and advice for how to deal with different issues that couples face are so helpful. I was disappointed in Ramses for the condom convo and thought he presented a version of himself that didn't really exist. But your analysis has me reconsidering that. I disagree that people critize Marissa for bringing her energy to defend Hannah - maybe you're reading different comments that point to her energy as the problem. But for me and most comments I've seen, it wasn't the energy Marissa brought to it that was the problem. She helped Hannah attack Nick and reverse victim and offender; you can be supportive of your friend without attacking someone else who isn't even the problem. Hannah didn't need defending from Nick. He wasn't doing anything to hurt Hannah at the reunion - he tried to be nice to her.
I feel like Ramses and Marissa are the most relatable couple to many young black people who are figuring themselves out and have a ways to go in terms of communication and balancing standing with your convictions while loving the person and staying curious on something that shouldn’t always be a deal breaker to the extents we make them
Thank you so much for this. I found them to be a really interesting couple to watch.
I am in the early stages of therapy training and your videos are so valuable to me. I appreciate the time it must take for you to do the research and then to put these together. I always feel very happy when I see a notification pop up that there’s one on its way ❤
I can tell you the exact moment Marissa’s energy became too much for me. It was during the reveal. I distinctly remember her being on 10…so much so, that I was like, “Girl, relax!” That’s not to say anything is wrong with her, but, I just don’t think her energy is for everyone. I do agree that Ramses should’ve been more forthcoming about his feelings, but at least he ended things before the wedding. And Marissa’s mom was so rude! Who knows…maybe she played a part in Ramses’ decision to break things off as well.
That commute thing is real. I went from a 20 minute walk to an hour+ drive to work and it had me jacked up. I quit that job largely for that reason.
to me, Ramses' concerns about how hurt his ex was and Marissa's energy were superficial things that covered up his fears (avoidant style) that was a HIM problem not a relationship problem. I think his issues with his father have not been worked out
Hot take I liked Marissas mom. And I loved her at the reunion, she clocked everyone she's locked in.
I'm 50/50. I like that she is direct and passionate, but she seemed misandrist to me. It was telling that her sons didn't seem to speak at all, almost as if they'd been verbally abused and felt like their voices didn't matter.
I disagree with Ramses on a lot of things but on the part where everyone is saying he should've been honest with Marissa that he was having doubts- perhaps he didn't even realise that he was having doubts subconsciously. Maybe he took a while to process his feelings and ended up not having the exact, correct words to express why he was breaking up with her so he said the first thing that came to mind. At the end of the day he did the most important thing which was to break it off instead of marrying her which wouldn't have been fair to either of them.
My last job’s commute was similar to Marissa’s and it actually wore me down. I was sleep deprived almost all the time and it affected me in a lot of ways to a point where I lost my job due to deterioration in my performance. It really put things into perspective when my clinical supervisor also said that I would get 12 hours of my week back if I didn’t have to commute for as long as I did
❤
@ it was ultimately a stepping stone for something better 😌
I don’t feel like a parent being critical is masculine or hyper masculine. It’s projection.
I think that depends on what the parent is critical of. They could be critical of things that relate to masculinity and gender expression
This is a fantastic video! I really appreciate how you openly acknowledged that you didn’t take offense to Ramses’ decision to break up with Marissa. I agree with many people that it was heartbreaking to see her heartbreak. However, I don't believe he should be painted as the villain for ending the relationship. Yes, he could have been more transparent about his doubts with her sooner (if he had them, and it seems he did) rather than reassuring her over and over. But he was not wrong or bad for feeling like their energies didn't match. People want to internalize him saying that as a personal attack, but it wasn't. Maybe this is a weird analogy to make, but I think a lot of people could relate to it: When someone says they're more of a dog person, that doesn't necessarily mean they dislike cats or think they’re terrible; it just means that dogs better fit their lifestyle and personal preferences. Ramses simply said her energy didn’t match his, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s actually healthier for him to be honest about his feelings, wants and needs in a relationshi, both with himself and with her. If he had suppressed those feelings, it could have led to resentment and emotional distance if they stayed together. This doesn’t mean her energy is bad or that she’s somehow flawed-just that they weren’t the right match for each other. That’s not a reflection of her worth!
Honestly, I feel like she had a lot of "energy" for him. He was being honest and did what was best for both. Marissa really did not like him either. She was forcing herself to like him and was devastated by him "rejecting" her. It was not a rejection; it was clear they would not work in the long run. Marissa's mother should be relieved that it did not work.
They ended up using the rhythm method via the FLO app…😂😂😂. Wonderful breakdowns!!
I 100% agree with you on the perpective you shared of Marissa at the reunion- she was defendinf her friend, and at that time she hadnt seen the show so she didnt see how horrible Hannah was to Nick behind the scenes, which she later addressed.
Im not upset Ramses ended it- afterall, it totally makes sense to me to NOT want ro get married after simply 2 months together. I was upset about HOW he ended it.
He blindsided her. He didnt voice those doubts and pressing concerns he'd apparently had throughout the relationship. Instead, he told her he was going to marry her. He said they were good, and most importanly he said she wasn't too much for him. You could tell when she asked him in the pods that that part was very important to her, and then he went back on that and fking crushed her during the break up. I wouldve been less annoyed with him if he hadnt even said that part, at least not during the break up. My heart broke for her when he said that, and Im more like Ramses than Marissa. His lack of transparency just made things way messier than it needed to be, and she was blindsided and crushed.
Completely agree with you on 100% of this!! 👏👏👏
The only way I want to watch love is blind is through your videos!
I don’t get it, I thought Marissa regrettted her military time when she spoke in the pods or was slightly embarrassed or needed a way out. So when she came out and spoke like maybe there’s a chance she’d go back I would look at her a little funny too, to me she does seem like she doesn’t always stand for her beliefs in order to be agreeable and liked . But that’s just an opinion
Nah, I 100% agree. And you can't fall back on finances as an excuse for being okay with military service if you'd also be supportive of your kids joining the military even though you'd probably be in a position to provide for them well enough such that they never HAVE to join such an institution ruining innocent lives worldwide (if you DO truly have any remorse for the awful things they've done, like you claim you do). Then using finances as an excuse is just a cop-out to gain sympathy. For me that was a major warning sign. Can't blame Ramses for not wanting his kids to be raised enthusiastic to join the military.
Thank you for your insight! I was looking forward to a more in-depth evaluation of how Ramses expressed himself during the "condom conversation" (as I think he didn't do a good job there at all and showed how his view of equality in the relationship is more flawed than he might realize).
Here for the premiere ❤️❤️
I perceive that Marissa's mother has contempt for men which would have affected their marriage. She definitely has misandry even saying that she would "castrate" Rameses. I thought Ramses handled her disrespect very well by not reacting to it. I am glad that he didn't marry Marissa because he would have subjected to her verbal abuse during their marriage. I also liked that Ramses broke up prior to the marriage to avoid embarrassing Marissa. I wished that he had told Marissa about his doubts earlier, but I can understand that disclosing his doubts earlier would have alarmed Marissa and may have sabotage their relationship. As for Marissa defending Hannah. I don't like her triangulating into Hannah's and Nick's relationship. Defending a friend means supporting them privately, but intervening is not helpful.
I really appreciate your breakdown. Great video
Killed it yet again, but what is new?! I feel so much like Marissa. I hate that Ramses didn't seem as emotionally available, but that has a lot to do with him and less to do with her. I hate that she really personalized that rejection. I just hate that she had to experience so much heartbreak in this experience. You always bring up such great points, especially the physical touch/intimacy part and not demoting that need. I also really loved the callout with helping with the wedding and how that is such a cop out. Regardless, I so wish you were a fly on my wall and picking up on any of the trends, bright spots and areas of opportunity in my romantic relationship! Have a great evening and great job on this project!
Ramses was not ready to get married and made it clear that there were parts of the process that weren't going to be the way he likes to operate and feels like he kind of put some of that on her while also copping out and not having a ton of substance to the issues he did raise lol i dont know i didn't get a great vibe from him
I totally agree with the beginning of this video that commuting for a long time to a job or school can rob you of some good healthy time. One of my must haves (for life balance) when I get a new job is i must be able to walk home from my work place. Such a small thing, but huge when it comes to being stuck in traffic
You can manage that? Wow. I can't imagine being able to afford that with most jobs :(
@@onedirectionlover317 trust me I'm surprised too, yep, all my jobs have been within walking distance from my house. I think once you decide on what little things contribute to your everyday happiness you just make it happen....
@@creativeopinions8250that’s inspirational, because that’s something I want for myself. Having a short commute for me surpasses many things when j think about what I want in a job because it’d be one of the biggest things (besides actual job hours) that’ll dictate how much time I have left to take care of myself and do things that fulfill my heart and soul.
I’ve also been walking to work for the past year. Game changer to my physical health (it’s about 30 min walk each way so I get min 1 hour of walking on the days I go in) and also mental health. No stress of traffic or being late. And time outdoors where I can clear my mind
@@vnessawThis sounds like a wonderful lifestyle. Out of curiosity, can I ask what you do in the summertime if it gets hot where you live? I would love to have that kind of commute, but I'm afraid that in the summer I would get super sweaty and need to change.
I love your videos! Please make more about different shows like SATC, Girlfriends, etc
One thing I’d love to learn is what is the right match for her type of personality. I don’t think I’ve personally met that type of high energy person so I’m not even sure how to understand one
Me too! Because she reminds me of me before loads of therapy
Girl needs to be medicated for adhd.
I was so ready for Marissa and Boden. Couldn’t understand for the life of me why she chose Ramses.
Sometimes you just don't feel it romantically with someone
@ of course, I’m speaking from my POV, not hers.
To answer your question at the end I respected that he didn’t take her to the altar and humiliate her by saying no. I don’t like seeing that happen on this show, I think they should only go to the altar if they are both saying yes. And he didn’t say a thing bad about Marisa but I was curious as to why he didn’t want to continue a relationship with her at all?
Hairrrrr loooks amazing oh my gosh ❤❤
The commute thing is very real I live in a state where there’s barely any traffic so when I went to nyc I was so stressed, overwhelmed and definitely felt like I lost a lot of time driving than actually seeing the city
Oh I've been waiting for this vid
As someone from outside the US (and we know why people join the military, its the same reason in other countries) and someone said "i support the troops" knowing what she knows. That would be an immediate out for me. There is compromise in discussions about things like having kids or where to live. Forever wars and genocide is a non negotiable ethical issue. She defo backtracked because she was anti-war in the pods
👏🏽👏🏽
The irony is she seemed less brainwashed than him about the military
I think you misjudged Ramses. Marissa comes across as emotionally immature, insecure and naive. She contradicted herself when they discussed when to have children. Her mom was also unbearable and did not serve as a positive role model. She wanted her daughter to get a prenup as if she had a ton of money and Ramses was after her money. A bit ridiculous… She projected a lot of negativity and Marissa did not handle those situations very well either.
Every time a conflict would arise Marissa didn’t know how to respond and they would carry on, until another issue would arise. Eventually they got to a point where they had several unresolved issues and Marissa didn’t know how to resolve them. Instead she insecurely asks Ramses repeatedly if he still wants to marry her because she’s afraid of being abandoned. She’s not even prioritizing how she feels or what is best for herself.
I think she could have done more to understand Ramses perspective by asking questions (maybe she did but we didn’t see), instead she would get triggered and shut down.
@@TheEraLad this is a really good assessment of their relationship. Thank you for sharing.
Great video as always. I’d love to see your thoughts on Ashley and Tyler, but more specifically, the “public’s” reaction to their relationship.
YASSSS I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ONE❤
And NO ONE HAS TALKED ABOUT HIS HAIR😭
So many thoughts but I'll leave it to a few:
1. Marissa chose her future husband over a friggin star sign, but apparently the other guy was worse than Ramses, so lesser of 2 evils, I guess?
2. The breakup felt extra cruel because I seem to remember her telling him guys leave her because she's 'too much', he reassures her only to turn around & do the same thing.
3. I cannot believe she willingly told the whole word, unprovoked, that she's silly and makes bad decisions. Not even the FBI would've gotten me to admit "I was still fucking that man" let alone *yelling it* and - the cherry on top - *_in front of my mother_*
33:01 I definitely agree! I wasn’t mad at him either. I think he did exactly what he was suppose to which is go through the experiment and fully assess whether you can live happily in a marriage with this person
Thank you for doing these videos. I appreciate your analysis.
Thank you I truly enjoy your perspective and I constantly am reminded when I listen to you how balanced you view these dynamics… it also reminds me of how judgmental I can sometimes be which as an empathetic listener needs to be monitored.
I wonder if someone says that people can't tolerate them after 3 months... If isn't because perhaps the people they're with felt like there was a bait and switch. Bubbly and cheerful and accommodating at first and all the time, then moody and prickly and grumpy once they've secured a person.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t quite understand what Ramses meant by “your energy is too much.” From what we saw on the show, Marissa seemed pretty normal, so it would have been nice for one of them to clarify if she is just very bubbly all the time or super talkative all the time or what. I think he could have phrased that way better though, like Steph did here, by saying that their energies are not a good match rather than making her feel like she has a problem.
34:43 💯 we all have struggles to overcome nobody’s perfect. I really appreciate your breakdowns. It gives me a lot of insight.
I was beyond sick and tired of their overuse of the word "like" in every conversation. I couldn't even focus on what they were talking about because they kept saying "like" after every other sentence.
They are both not the sharpest
And lately there are lots of people talking as such, I don’t know what’s that about . lol and considering their political views doesn’t surprise me either 😑🥴
It really was difficult to listen to those conversations... the way they use the word "like" as though it is a comma makes listening to them tough
i didnt even notice til i read this, now it wont stop!
@Deltadivaix "like" is often used as a filler word in the English language. It's not a marker of intelligence, that's a holdover stereotype of it being associated with the Valley Girl accent.
Watching Marissa and Ramses was tough a lot of the time. I noticed during their conflict, he would just shut down with a blank stare into her soul. She seemed like a nervous person talking to fill up the space where I think he should have stepped in and participated a little more, providing reassurance or AT LEAST defending his stance a bit.
But it was pretty much over for me when she said she didn’t want to go on birth control, and his response was basically, “Well, it’s gotta feel good for me”, essentially saying, “You need to take on the medical ramifications for the sake of my pleasure.” Of course people think he’s a fake feminist. His whole stance was that he wanted to stand against toxic masculinity, then went and did the very thing to display it… worse than I think any man on the show did. I kind of wonder if they were battling a bit since Marissa was eager to get pregnant, but he should never have pressured her like that.
YESSS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS VIDEO