No capitalism would incentivize them to make good products as cheaply as possible to make more money, Rather than making bad products for the highest cost possible
@@Zodroo_Tint German poet Heinrich Heine had two very good friends in the years he lived in Paris. He wrote often about them both. One was James de Rothschild, one of the richest men in the world, the other was a young Karl Marx. Marx was also, coincidentally, related to the wife of James de Rothschild's sister-in-law and obviously her children by her husband Nathan Rothschild. Their oldest son, Lionel de Rothschild, was the first Jewish man to be elected to the House of Commons. Marx once spent a few hours in the public gallery of the House of Commons observing Lionel and wrote about it in his American newspaper column. He didn't mention that Lionel's great-grand parents were also his great-great-grandparents. That's Oligarchy communism for you. Keep worshipping it.
The funny thing is that women don't even actually go watch these "modern strong women" movies. In the end, a movie made for no one will make no money. Why is this so hard to understand.
I really wanted a film with Islamic symobolism though to finish the Abrahamic religions. We already got Jewish (Raiders of the Lost Ark) and Christian (The Last Crusade) symbolism.
@@imgvillasrc1608that is a real interesting idea that I would have liked to see, unfortunately I don’t think modern Hollywood would be able to pull it off so it’ll just stay a cool idea
Congrats to Kathline Kennedy for taking Billion Dollar Intellectual properties and shepherding them to the level of interest, excitement and profitability of the WNBA!
hell na!! it ain't over they'll be a Indiana Jones the search for the lost dinosaur with a CGI generated actor long after Harrison Ford dies of old age😵🤑
No, the WNBA is half way watchable. (Just remind yourself that they are supposed to play at half power compared to the NBA.) You can't make through more than 15 minutes of anything connected to Kathleen Kennedy without getting sick.
Crystal Skull certainly did have some redeeming value, and it did not try to destroy Indie with intersectional feminism. I’d watch Crystal Skull over this leftist propaganda reel.
Crystal Skull had some good ideas thrown in, his relationship with son was a lot of fun, different antagonists (USSR as opposed to Nazi's), cold war dynamic Oh yeah, they destroyed all of those things in this movie
@@ml5955 The main thing people hated about Crystal Skull at the time was the Ancient Aliens stuff, which, in 2023, has aged like a particularly fine wine. That movie also was not a passive-aggressive pseudo-feminist slander piece, and those kinds of movies ALREADY have aged like milk.
Raiders: (still) awesome, Temple: ho-hum, Last Crusade: also awesome (including the script for 'Dildo of Dumb' shooting out the east ends of the westbound horses), Skull of Bull: dull, This one: the Star Trek V of this franchise - crappy story, 1-dimensional characters, pointless/stupid dialogue, wooden 'acting', appalling/cheapo - very cheapo - CGI/FX, total - TOTAL - contempt for fans. But APART from all that, what's not to love?
There's nothing a man loves more than seeing his once beloved heroes grow old, feeble and useless. Having them also be beat and and their heroic and adventurous role being taken over by a woman. So brave, so stunning. Having a male hero phased out and replaced by a woman truly is a noble cause for a modern audience. We can only hope we see a female James Bond series next.
Yeah, a black women -- father muslin, mother Jewish -- non-binary, transgender, body fat affirmative disabled 007. It sure going to be a sight to see. If not as a spy movie, for sure as a trash comedy movie.
The part where PWB casually won the UFC men’s championship and then went on to defeat the Klingons for intergalactic supremacy brought me to tears! 6 out of 5 stars!!!
I’d pay real money to watch PWB step into the ring with any UFC men’s champion. Maybe then she’ll learn that she can’t just take things that men have worked hard for.
@@l_ifeefi_l1998 this is a great idea - all the Mary sues together. But not done by today's Hollywood. In an irreverent Mel brooks funny taking-the-piss way. It would be the runaway hit of the decade.
Old possum face KK has really solidified her legacy. Its so brave and stunning that someone with such a debilitating mental disability has managed to do what shes done. And nobody has even tried to stop her!
Or how about the fact that the black woman is movie called the star of this entire movie of cracker? She deserves to be stoned to death in real life for that.
I'll bet some people have tried to say this/that is a bad idea. Next thing they're clearing their office/desk and taking their stuff home in a cardboard box.
Well, Stephen Spielberg was meant to direct but gave the job away apparently to "pass the baton on". What is less known is the years of arguing with Disney over the script. The dude had the perfect opportunity to make a stand but took the cowards way out likely for fear of being cancelled.
true, compared to time travel bullshit, refrigator scene from crystal skull is amazing and unforgetable and the aliens are much more thrilling concept than going back in time to kill hitler lol, not to mention the female antagonist of the crystal skull which is one of if not the best villain of the indiana jones series
I wouldn't call Crystal Skull a great movie, but I never thought it was terrible either. In a way it's like comparing the three Star Wars prequels George Lucas made to the stuff that Disney's been putting out. Crystal Skull and the Star Wars prequels felt like the high school teacher giving a C-minus or a D-plus to the kid that's usually at the top of the class. "Look, this is still passing work, and coming from some of your peers this would be acceptable. But I've seen what you've been able to do in the past, and I know you are capable of producing work that's so much better than this. What happened?"
As an italian who enjoys pineapple on pizza, i juust have to say that thank you to romans for inventing the tomato base sauce of the pizza without this the consistency and flavourful sweetness of the pineapple will be too much👌
@@AwakenedAvocado - Alternate history is fun when we have Romans inventing a sauce over 1000 years before the main ingredient, the tomato, was introduced to Europe.
This should have been named "Indiana Jones and the Last Pay Check". Harrison Ford's last flip off of his fans and character..for the money. Sort of like what he did in his last Star Wars outing
At least we got Deckard punching Ryan Gosling in the face repeatedly before sharing a whiskey with him and reminiscing about lost love, and toasted cheese. Fuck I think I'll rewatch that tonight actually. Best opening scene of any movie this millenium
Harrison Ford was so good looking in American Graffiti. Now, decades later, he's a mega-rich 80-year old who can barely stand his fans, is a douchebag when he's on talk shows, and phones in all his performances.
When the black female CIA agent came on screen I thought "oh no this is a charismatic character that respects Indy that makes her so boring". I am so glad they killed her off so we can spend more time with Fleabag Karen who is not annoying at all
my favorite part was when after fleebag knocked out indiana jones, indiana hands her his hat and says, the hat is perfect, and fleebag looks at the old hat in disgust and says "it will be when it fits a woman" and Marion divorces indiana and runs off with fleebag. i teared up as everyone in the theater stood in applause. so stunning and brave.
😂 *spoiler alert* the actual movie is not too much different: a smug condescending annoying masculine woman who is better at being a man than men and better at being Indiana Jones than Indiana Jones sucker punches Indy so hard he loses his consciousness because she knows what is good for him better than he does and when he wakes up old and confused she is there gloating for being so very smart. The end. Yikes 😬
I mean couldn’t Harrison Ford see what was happening during the filming? Didn’t he see what they were doing to this beloved character beyond his paycheque? He could’ve stepped in anytime during the process and say "I’m not having it". He has the clout and changes would have happened. Sad to say, but he’s as much to blame for this as Kathleen Kennedy.
Remember that time they interviewed Ford about the new Star Wars movies and asked him what he thought, he just grinned and said "I got paid". Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Actually, I was still waiting for Helena to be eaten by some crocodile as the right villain full of hybris and greed. She totally fit the idea of an antagonist about to get its just reward. And Indie winning the artifact back... and putting it in a museum. But at the end.... wow... a really modern take on the Indie stories. Wow.
I love the part where the Girl Hero accidentally finds the important relic in the ladies room while comforting another Girl Hero who's experiencing relationship issues. That was fricking awesome. Instant classic.
I didn't saw that. As a men I know I can't look the film where there is a ladies room in the picture, I don't want my toxic masculinity to spoil that beautifull independent shiting room.
@@BlackSailPass_GuitarCoversYou can't tell anymore............. I'm sitting here trying to figure out if this is willful destruction for a tax write off😂
I am 45 years old. Indy was my childhood, my favorite hero, even a role model. This a movie I should be dying to see and I don’t even care that you spoiled it.
It is so much more than that. You do realize that this guy would write the same review if he hadn’t watched the film right? Because it certainly seems like it.
@@tobyonatabe2601 Anytime I see the phrase, "You do realize" I immediately dismiss anything that follows. A phrase used by shills and haters everywhere.
@@tobyonatabe2601 You troll a page whose opinions you disagree with trying to look cool. When you grow up and quit been a loser looking for action on the internet, let me know. Your trolling game sucks too. Nothing I haven't seen before. Try to be original.
I couldn't imagine ever sitting down to watch this "movie", so thank you for taking us through it on our behalf. Indy's knock-kneed geriatric escapades in that skull thingy was more than enough for me.
Why not watch it yourself? I saw it today and thought it was great, and I’m an Indy super fan. Don’t be a sheep blindly listening to random TH-camrs and go make your own decision.
@@VanHoutenMCI guess you must be the modern audience Disney has been talking about. I’m beside myself with joy you are out there. I’m not modern, have a liking for character arks, novel ideas, well crafted story telling and a dislike of endless sequels squeezing every last dollar out of worn out franchises due to catastrophic imagination failures the current movie industry. Paint me 20th century, I’m fine with that!
You made a small mistake in the video when you said "in the first four movies, the hero of the Indiana Jones franchise was Indiana Jones." There are only 3.
It's like it's written by someone who always loses an argument and resorts to personal attacks and that is still upset about something that happened in primary school.
What has your daughter done to deserve such a harsh punishment? Do you hate her so much? Also, how will it help your daughter in live to be able to recite the worst entry in the Indiana Jones franchise?
Thank goodness we no longer have to watch our heroes be strong, tough, and complex. I'm thankful we now live in an age where women put them in their place and show them their sexist, bigoted ways.
🐂💩🤡show. And people got paid for this ridiculous leftists propaganda 🎥 movie. Next time call someone in a coma. There movie would be more interesting. Ridiculous.🤮🤮🤮
I like Willie, she acted more like a woman would in real life if they were roped into some whacky adventure with guys pulling hearts out of peoples chest than any of the Indy girls.
Interestingly enough I enjoyed the first 15 minutes or so. What followed was the end of a great character. People have officially lost their collective minds.
I agree! I choose not even to acknowledge this or the crystal skull bullshit. The Indiana Jones saga ended in last crusade with him riding off into the sunset.
@@BigElectricBull1981crystal skull had a lot of problems, sure. But at least it was made before Disney bought lucasfilm and before Kathleen Kennedy began butchering once great male leads. Crystal skull was phoned in, lazy and unnecessary, but at least it wasn’t woke.
A movie of movies indeed. 10/10 The Message, 0/10 Entertainment just like all modern movies should be. Bravo to Disney for another masterpiece for our noble D.I.E.(Diversity Inclusion and Equity) cause. I tip my rainbow hat on you my sweet mouse.
Hilarious parody review. I know it's a parody because surely they wouldn't destroy the legacy of an iconic screen hero like Indy, right? That reminds me, I still need to get around to seeing the last couple of Star Wars movies. I can't wait to see how Luke Skywalker aged into becoming a master Jedi.
Well, in ten years or so Phoebe can play in the re-imagined "Wizard of Oz" . She has the chin to play the wicked witch, the makeup artists will have a great time. Great review, first time here, you almost had me going.😂
What most people won't realize is that Indy 5 is destined to be a global blockbuster that will earn $200 million in total. It's so inspirational. With this, Phoebe will get her wish, a new series for her. And Disney will pull out loans to make sure that it's made. Because they know how successful the new "Indiana Jane" series will be!
“A five star classic! Exceeding ALL expectations.” Bro this dude be killing me. 😂. Thank you for the channel even if the algorithm is trying to keep you down. The laughs have been endless on my end.
I used to hate critics of media but now that media is total dogshit I enjoy these more than the actual movies. I haven't watched a Marvel movie in theaters since Iron Man
I’m 53 years old. I saw the original Raiders in a theater with my Dad. It was a great experience. This movie is really, really bad. A shameful treatment of such an iconic character.
I have spent 2 days listening to Indy 5 reviews.....2 days. 2 great days of hearing every single person taking the absolute piss out of this Insult made into a Film. I will say dammit your style is still so unique and catchy, punch for punch, man you really have a good thing going here and I can't wait to see you rise above the rest like the true cream of the crop your show is!!💛💚🍻🎉
I met a fellow who watched the movie and commented "In the first minutes there's a nice Harrison Ford cameo, but the old guy who plays Indiana in the rest of the movie... I don't know who he is"
Archimedes invented the time-fissure device so he could travel to the future and prevent Indian Jones 5 from being made, but he coldcocked by a backwards traveling PWB before he could use it.
Just in time to ruin my day. I mean make my day! For this is obviously the greatest film ever made with the greatest female character ever made of course!
But how can you ever possibly hope to determine the greatest female character in these woke times!?? All are absolutely perfect and flawless in every way!
Just found this channel, and I love what you are doing here, this is such a genius idea for a channel. Amazing work! It would make for some great wooosh posts too.
If a three year old girl draws a picture and says “that’s me fighting doctor octopus”, do you burn your collection of mint-in-box Amazing Spider Man figurines? That’s all this was. A toddler with a crayon. Sure, it was a multibillion dollar crayon. But still a crayon.
I refuse to support terrible movies financially. It's called "capitalism."
I'd only cap em in the neck
Nice
No, it is called choice. Capitalism is what brought to you Indiana Jones 5, the Rings of Power and the Disney Star Wars. Now keep worshipping it!
No capitalism would incentivize them to make good products as cheaply as possible to make more money, Rather than making bad products for the highest cost possible
@@Zodroo_Tint German poet Heinrich Heine had two very good friends in the years he lived in Paris. He wrote often about them both. One was James de Rothschild, one of the richest men in the world, the other was a young Karl Marx.
Marx was also, coincidentally, related to the wife of James de Rothschild's sister-in-law and obviously her children by her husband Nathan Rothschild. Their oldest son, Lionel de Rothschild, was the first Jewish man to be elected to the House of Commons. Marx once spent a few hours in the public gallery of the House of Commons observing Lionel and wrote about it in his American newspaper column. He didn't mention that Lionel's great-grand parents were also his great-great-grandparents.
That's Oligarchy communism for you. Keep worshipping it.
The funny thing is that women don't even actually go watch these "modern strong women" movies. In the end, a movie made for no one will make no money. Why is this so hard to understand.
It's Not About Money, It's About Sending A Message
@@FUh_Que_- *ignites gigantic stack of classic films*
@@jeremytitus9519 Perfect lol
@@FUh_Que_- yep it's called propaganda
yup...Just like the WNBA.
You know it's actually truly shocking how they killed off his son just so PWB can step in. It's like a post-birth abortion
It's explained in the movie that he died while fighting for his country. His death gave indy some much needed conflict and character development.
@@silverstarlight9395 Or they just hated Shia LaBeouf.
@@whenpigsfly8178or they wanted to pass the fedora/whip to a woman. Because women are better than men in every way.
@@whenpigsfly8178 - Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf?
@@silverstarlight9395 Indiana Jones doesn't need character development. He just needs his next maguffin.
The Last Crusade ended so perfectly. Sometimes less is more.
That's when the franchise truly ended for me. The other two movies are just fanfiction
I really wanted a film with Islamic symobolism though to finish the Abrahamic religions. We already got Jewish (Raiders of the Lost Ark) and Christian (The Last Crusade) symbolism.
@@imgvillasrc1608that is a real interesting idea that I would have liked to see, unfortunately I don’t think modern Hollywood would be able to pull it off so it’ll just stay a cool idea
@imgvillasrc1608 Indiana Jones and the explosion of jihadists. In the end they all get blown up..
This channel’s satire is top notch.
KK’s team should from this point on be known as “The Demolition Team”. Her ability to take iconic franchises and crumble them into dust is epic.
Congrats to Kathline Kennedy for taking Billion Dollar Intellectual properties and shepherding them to the level of interest, excitement and profitability of the WNBA!
hell na!! it ain't over they'll be a Indiana Jones the search for the lost dinosaur with a CGI generated actor long after Harrison Ford dies of old age😵🤑
No, the WNBA is half way watchable. (Just remind yourself that they are supposed to play at half power compared to the NBA.) You can't make through more than 15 minutes of anything connected to Kathleen Kennedy without getting sick.
How do you wind up with millions of dollars in the movie business?
Turn over a billion dollar franchise to KK.
@@razor6552 Perfectly stated.
@@daymenleo6895 I think indy has become the dinosaur
Say what you want about the Crystal Skull, but seeing Indy and Marion smiling in front of the altar almost brings a tear to my eye.
Crystal Skull certainly did have some redeeming value, and it did not try to destroy Indie with intersectional feminism. I’d watch Crystal Skull over this leftist propaganda reel.
Not to mention he takes the hat away from mutt before the kid puts it on
Crystal Skull had some good ideas thrown in, his relationship with son was a lot of fun, different antagonists (USSR as opposed to Nazi's), cold war dynamic
Oh yeah, they destroyed all of those things in this movie
@@ml5955 The main thing people hated about Crystal Skull at the time was the Ancient Aliens stuff, which, in 2023, has aged like a particularly fine wine. That movie also was not a passive-aggressive pseudo-feminist slander piece, and those kinds of movies ALREADY have aged like milk.
@@DerHammerSpricht agreed 👍
A bad movie at least leads to fun reviews 🥳
Here's mine: See Indy 5 where Lia Thomas plays the character of Phoebe-Waller Bridge, an angry bitter spiteful bigoted passive aggressive feminist.
Good movie lots of action
Raiders: (still) awesome,
Temple: ho-hum,
Last Crusade: also awesome (including the script for 'Dildo of Dumb' shooting out the east ends of the westbound horses),
Skull of Bull: dull,
This one: the Star Trek V of this franchise - crappy story, 1-dimensional characters, pointless/stupid dialogue, wooden 'acting', appalling/cheapo - very cheapo - CGI/FX, total - TOTAL - contempt for fans. But APART from all that, what's not to love?
The thing is nowadays its just all fun reviews and no good movies
That's why I want KK to stay forever, because her failures are hilarious 🤣
There's nothing a man loves more than seeing his once beloved heroes grow old, feeble and useless. Having them also be beat and and their heroic and adventurous role being taken over by a woman. So brave, so stunning. Having a male hero phased out and replaced by a woman truly is a noble cause for a modern audience. We can only hope we see a female James Bond series next.
they actually tried making 007 a black woman lmao
Bull, they should have had Dylan Mulvaney in the role....if they want to get woke, don't half ass it.
A lesbian of color and the olive in the martini has to be organically grown and documented harvested by unionized pickers.
Yeah, a black women -- father muslin, mother Jewish -- non-binary, transgender, body fat affirmative disabled 007. It sure going to be a sight to see. If not as a spy movie, for sure as a trash comedy movie.
But you will see a female 007. I mean, didn't you see the last 007 film? 🙂
Imagine how awesome this could have been if Short Round came back and became Indie's Successor. I would have effing cried.
I would have been on board with that idea. Actually sounds like it could be a fun series of movies.
The part where PWB casually won the UFC men’s championship and then went on to defeat the Klingons for intergalactic supremacy brought me to tears! 6 out of 5 stars!!!
I’d pay real money to watch PWB step into the ring with any UFC men’s champion. Maybe then she’ll learn that she can’t just take things that men have worked hard for.
We need a cross over collaboration of all the mary sues in one movie!! I cant wait to watch them bickering with one another
@@the_absurd_hero that would be funny, and the shortest match in the history of ufc.
@@l_ifeefi_l1998 this is a great idea - all the Mary sues together. But not done by today's Hollywood. In an irreverent Mel brooks funny taking-the-piss way. It would be the runaway hit of the decade.
P'TAK! Chic-fil-A!
Old possum face KK has really solidified her legacy. Its so brave and stunning that someone with such a debilitating mental disability has managed to do what shes done. And nobody has even tried to stop her!
Disneys overfilled with incompetence.
SMH. Now I can’t Unsee her without a Possum Face. Thanks 👍🏽
Nobody has tried to stop her because she’s a disabled person. You can’t question whether she can do the job, that’s inappropriate!
Or how about the fact that the black woman is movie called the star of this entire movie of cracker?
She deserves to be stoned to death in real life for that.
I'll bet some people have tried to say this/that is a bad idea. Next thing they're clearing their office/desk and taking their stuff home in a cardboard box.
What a shame. If only there was a director who would speak out about these studios' bleeding characters and franchises dry. If only.
Well, Stephen Spielberg was meant to direct but gave the job away apparently to "pass the baton on". What is less known is the years of arguing with Disney over the script. The dude had the perfect opportunity to make a stand but took the cowards way out likely for fear of being cancelled.
it would take balls
"Meanwhile, in a perpendicular universe - far, far - VERY, VERY - far, far away, one such director...........".
Masterpiece while it flop on box office. Oh wait! This channel didn't want to mention that 😂😂😂
One good thing about the new Indy movie is it makes I.J. Crystal Skull look like an absolute epic masterpiece.
true, compared to time travel bullshit, refrigator scene from crystal skull is amazing and unforgetable and the aliens are much more thrilling concept than going back in time to kill hitler lol, not to mention the female antagonist of the crystal skull which is one of if not the best villain of the indiana jones series
I wouldn't call Crystal Skull a great movie, but I never thought it was terrible either. In a way it's like comparing the three Star Wars prequels George Lucas made to the stuff that Disney's been putting out. Crystal Skull and the Star Wars prequels felt like the high school teacher giving a C-minus or a D-plus to the kid that's usually at the top of the class. "Look, this is still passing work, and coming from some of your peers this would be acceptable. But I've seen what you've been able to do in the past, and I know you are capable of producing work that's so much better than this. What happened?"
@@czowiekoowek7708 funnily enough everything that had to do with time travel was by far the best part of DoD
Do you really think that? Indy 5 has a lot of flaws but it’s objectively infinitely better than crystal skull
Women ruining another franchise
"It seems the Romans would have also won World War II, in half a day"
As an Italian I found that painfully ironic 😅
As an italian who enjoys pineapple on pizza, i juust have to say that thank you to romans for inventing the tomato base sauce of the pizza without this the consistency and flavourful sweetness of the pineapple will be too much👌
Moreover, ancient Romans were so advanced & sophisticated, the sight of an airplane in the sky would have been no BFD to them. Yah, ancient Romans!
@@gridley Because they were led by strong independent black female emperors. Everybody know this is the real truth.
@@AwakenedAvocado - Alternate history is fun when we have Romans inventing a sauce over 1000 years before the main ingredient, the tomato, was introduced to Europe.
@@BigNews2021 yeah well next thing you'll be telling me is pineapple was invented by Hawaii
The death of modern Cinema in real time.
This should have been named "Indiana Jones and the Last Pay Check". Harrison Ford's last flip off of his fans and character..for the money. Sort of like what he did in his last Star Wars outing
At least we got Deckard punching Ryan Gosling in the face repeatedly before sharing a whiskey with him and reminiscing about lost love, and toasted cheese. Fuck I think I'll rewatch that tonight actually. Best opening scene of any movie this millenium
Harrison Ford was so good looking in American Graffiti. Now, decades later, he's a mega-rich 80-year old who can barely stand his fans, is a douchebag when he's on talk shows, and phones in all his performances.
I loved the part of Indy 5 where bill says to ted, "no way".
Thank Bill and Ted for warning me! Bill and Ted were the best!
#kaosnova
Dude!!
They both look at Helena and say
"Bogus!"
Then Jane Wiedlin kicks her sorry butt as Joan of Arc.
We totally need Rufus to show up in a phone booth and take us out of this particular clown dimension we're living in.
Masterpiece while it flop on box office. Oh wait! This channel didn't want to mention that 😂😂😂
I loved the part in Indy 5 where PWB says "only I can prevent forest fires".
If only it could make itself attractive. Wait, she’s straight?
Greta thinberg is our only hope
When the black female CIA agent came on screen I thought "oh no this is a charismatic character that respects Indy that makes her so boring". I am so glad they killed her off so we can spend more time with Fleabag Karen who is not annoying at all
I liked how at the end, Morbius said, "It's definitely not Morbin' time."
I loved the ending where Jordan steps back and swishes the jumper to win the game.
The Dial of Misandry
I embrace my toxic masculinity in all its glorious magnificience. I bathe in its majestic prowess and revel in its beautiful elegance.
my favorite part was when after fleebag knocked out indiana jones, indiana hands her his hat and says, the hat is perfect, and fleebag looks at the old hat in disgust and says "it will be when it fits a woman" and Marion divorces indiana and runs off with fleebag. i teared up as everyone in the theater stood in applause. so stunning and brave.
😂😅😂
I love when the Nazi said fuck niggers to the cia 🤣
😂 *spoiler alert* the actual movie is not too much different: a smug condescending annoying masculine woman who is better at being a man than men and better at being Indiana Jones than Indiana Jones sucker punches Indy so hard he loses his consciousness because she knows what is good for him better than he does and when he wakes up old and confused she is there gloating for being so very smart. The end. Yikes 😬
Masterpiece while it flop on box office. Oh wait! This channel didn't want to mention that 😂😂😂
I mean couldn’t Harrison Ford see what was happening during the filming? Didn’t he see what they were doing to this beloved character beyond his paycheque? He could’ve stepped in anytime during the process and say "I’m not having it". He has the clout and changes would have happened. Sad to say, but he’s as much to blame for this as Kathleen Kennedy.
Remember that time they interviewed Ford about the new Star Wars movies and asked him what he thought, he just grinned and said "I got paid". Pepperidge Farm remembers.
I ask myself the same thing, also with Mark Hamil ! The just wanted the money !
99% of people are not the least bit passionate about their job, it's a means to an end. Harrison Ford is not interested.
Should have stopped at The Last Crusade. One of the best.
Actually, I was still waiting for Helena to be eaten by some crocodile as the right villain full of hybris and greed. She totally fit the idea of an antagonist about to get its just reward. And Indie winning the artifact back... and putting it in a museum. But at the end.... wow... a really modern take on the Indie stories. Wow.
Its 2023, why is anyone expecting anything from disney to be watchable and worth a dime?
She should have died like the blonde Nazi from Last Crusade
Masterpiece while it flop on box office. Oh wait! This channel didn't want to mention that 😂😂😂
@@Saiputera you realise this video is ironic right?
@@spencerreid2086 like I said! It hard to tell tho
This is a master piece if you ever want to destroy your franchise
You know it’s not a good sign if woke critic is the first YT review notification you get for a new movie and that just came out
Why Indiana Jones when we can have Vagiana Joana? It's 2023, peeps.
I love the part where the Girl Hero accidentally finds the important relic in the ladies room while comforting another Girl Hero who's experiencing relationship issues. That was fricking awesome. Instant classic.
I didn't saw that. As a men I know I can't look the film where there is a ladies room in the picture, I don't want my toxic masculinity to spoil that beautifull independent shiting room.
Same plot as She-Hulk.
Ladies room!? Repent, you bigot. I have reported you to HR.
Is this satire or did it actually happen in the film? I can't even tell anymore.
@@BlackSailPass_GuitarCoversYou can't tell anymore............. I'm sitting here trying to figure out if this is willful destruction for a tax write off😂
I look forward to seeing just how many people still think this is a real review channel and the satire goes right over their heads 😂
I am 45 years old. Indy was my childhood, my favorite hero, even a role model. This a movie I should be dying to see and I don’t even care that you spoiled it.
Alternate title : Horse Face and the Destiny to Lose 500 Million Dollars !
So glad to hear this movie is everything I thought it would be.
Yep it sure is a real steaming pile of shit.
It is so much more than that. You do realize that this guy would write the same review if he hadn’t watched the film right? Because it certainly seems like it.
@@tobyonatabe2601 Anytime I see the phrase, "You do realize" I immediately dismiss anything that follows. A phrase used by shills and haters everywhere.
@@metalrules1135 if you ever grow up to be able to read an opinion that you don't like, I'm here.
@@tobyonatabe2601 You troll a page whose opinions you disagree with trying to look cool. When you grow up and quit been a loser looking for action on the internet, let me know. Your trolling game sucks too. Nothing I haven't seen before. Try to be original.
As long as the Lucas Film exists Woke Critic will never run out of content
LOL how does this channel only have 37k Subs! This channel is a true hidden gem!
I'm so glad they updated Indiana Jones for "Modern Audiences". Since I'm a fossil, I'll sit this one out.
"Boy you said it, Chewie. Where did you dig up that old *fossil* ?"
Best joke I’ve heard all year
The Dial Tone of Density 😂😂
Like McFly “You’re my density”
The Critical Drinker had some classics lol.
"Indiana Jones 5 is a modern masterpiece" the box office will disagree with you.
I couldn't imagine ever sitting down to watch this "movie", so thank you for taking us through it on our behalf.
Indy's knock-kneed geriatric escapades in that skull thingy was more than enough for me.
Why not watch it yourself? I saw it today and thought it was great, and I’m an Indy super fan. Don’t be a sheep blindly listening to random TH-camrs and go make your own decision.
@@VanHoutenMCI guess you must be the modern audience Disney has been talking about. I’m beside myself with joy you are out there. I’m not modern, have a liking for character arks, novel ideas, well crafted story telling and a dislike of endless sequels squeezing every last dollar out of worn out franchises due to catastrophic imagination failures the current movie industry. Paint me 20th century, I’m fine with that!
@@VanHoutenMC are you non binary?
@@VanHoutenMC I agree with you. I've seen it and I really enjoyed it. It's like the person narrating this video watched a different movie from me.
@@inigo5051 What a stupid question. No.
You made a small mistake in the video when you said "in the first four movies, the hero of the Indiana Jones franchise was Indiana Jones." There are only 3.
Your inflections and cadence the these reviews are fantastic!
It's like it's written by someone who always loses an argument and resorts to personal attacks and that is still upset about something that happened in primary school.
I can't wait to take my family to watch this again and again.
I will not be satisfied until my daughter can recipt the script word for word.
'recite'.
.......did your daughter commit 1st degree murder? Because that is some punishment
@@ryleighloughty3307 I knew it was wrong but as a far left activist I blame structural racism for my error.
@@TheGreatApostate It's not your fault. The system has let you down.
What has your daughter done to deserve such a harsh punishment? Do you hate her so much? Also, how will it help your daughter in live to be able to recite the worst entry in the Indiana Jones franchise?
Thank goodness we no longer have to watch our heroes be strong, tough, and complex. I'm thankful we now live in an age where women put them in their place and show them their sexist, bigoted ways.
🐂💩🤡show. And people got paid for this ridiculous leftists propaganda 🎥 movie. Next time call someone in a coma. There movie would be more interesting. Ridiculous.🤮🤮🤮
Great sarcasms!
So you admit that Indiana Jones is a sexist and bigot?
@@silverstarlight9395He always was. Never had a truly stable relationship with woman.
I like Willie, she acted more like a woman would in real life if they were roped into some whacky adventure with guys pulling hearts out of peoples chest than any of the Indy girls.
Interestingly enough I enjoyed the first 15 minutes or so. What followed was the end of a great character. People have officially lost their collective minds.
The woke critic was so inspired by this films progressivism that the script wrote itself in less than 24 hours.
minutes not hours... no original thought required
@@josephberrie9550. I give them 5 stars also…………from 100 stars.
No matter how many new Indiana Jones movies get made now, there are still only 3 - and they say Disney’s magic is all gone!
I agree! I choose not even to acknowledge this or the crystal skull bullshit. The Indiana Jones saga ended in last crusade with him riding off into the sunset.
@@BigElectricBull1981crystal skull had a lot of problems, sure. But at least it was made before Disney bought lucasfilm and before Kathleen Kennedy began butchering once great male leads. Crystal skull was phoned in, lazy and unnecessary, but at least it wasn’t woke.
@@cinemaniak1055 I agree - it was a good-faith lazy cash grab, not something made out of spite, with malice and hatred towards fans!
Definitely a must see for cinematic masochists!
The title got me worried. Sarcasm…it always gets you.
A movie of movies indeed. 10/10 The Message, 0/10 Entertainment just like all modern movies should be. Bravo to Disney for another masterpiece for our noble D.I.E.(Diversity Inclusion and Equity) cause. I tip my rainbow hat on you my sweet mouse.
you won't get laid in your mother's basement
😡Don't EVER mock Mickey Mouse like that. He's as much of a victim of the woke agenda as we are. Bob is to blame for the mess, NOT Mickey.
Hilarious parody review. I know it's a parody because surely they wouldn't destroy the legacy of an iconic screen hero like Indy, right? That reminds me, I still need to get around to seeing the last couple of Star Wars movies. I can't wait to see how Luke Skywalker aged into becoming a master Jedi.
I embrace my toxic masculinity in all its glorious magnificience. I bathe in its majestic prowess and revel in its beautiful elegance.
Oh, erm.. take a seat.. we need to talk..
Well, in ten years or so Phoebe can play in the re-imagined "Wizard of Oz" . She has the chin to play the wicked witch, the makeup artists will have a great time.
Great review, first time here, you almost had me going.😂
And the nose. She's a doppelganger.
Totally missed chance for hollywood to cast Gal Gadot in Snow White instead of Peanut Butter Bridge
What most people won't realize is that Indy 5 is destined to be a global blockbuster that will earn $200 million in total.
It's so inspirational. With this, Phoebe will get her wish, a new series for her.
And Disney will pull out loans to make sure that it's made.
Because they know how successful the new "Indiana Jane" series will be!
I can't believe I missed opening night!
And all the other nights.
Amazing work, each time. Bravo!
This is the best sarcasm/satire ive ever seen. How you all play along is brilliant!! Keep up the great work lol!!
“A five star classic! Exceeding ALL expectations.” Bro this dude be killing me. 😂. Thank you for the channel even if the algorithm is trying to keep you down. The laughs have been endless on my end.
The last 10 seconds of this video are perfect, well done TWC.
Finally the hero we deserved but do not need 😂
“She drives the plot…”
WHAT PLOT???
My favorite part of the movie was when Indiana Jones said “It’s Indiana Jones time!!” And totally Kingdom of the Crystal Skulled ever where!
Rumor has it, Waller-Bridge is in talks with Larson for a film where they set about the process of together emasculating the elderly Starsky & Hutch.
Next it will be the two of them playing Thelma & Louise
Thank you for saving me from spending my money on this.
I used to hate critics of media but now that media is total dogshit I enjoy these more than the actual movies. I haven't watched a Marvel movie in theaters since Iron Man
I love attending a movie that belittles me, my family, my country and, if I am lucky, my religion.
I want to see this movie 14 times.
I’m 53 years old. I saw the original Raiders in a theater with my Dad. It was a great experience. This movie is really, really bad. A shameful treatment of such an iconic character.
Thank you for your time, I won't even watch it when it comes free to TV.
Indiana Jones and the Denial of Defecation.
The Dial of Deez nutz
Such sustained sarcasm should be tapped as a renewable resource.
R.I.P Dr Indiana Jones you deserved much better 🫡🇺🇲
I could have sworn the list of villains was going to be, “Giant balls, snakes, Germans and fathers.” The edit set it up.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge's forehead is so big they could project movies on it.
The snap finger of kk-thanos
the 5th movie is 💩🧻🚽
KK is the Jar Jar Binks of Cinematography.
I have spent 2 days listening to Indy 5 reviews.....2 days. 2 great days of hearing every single person taking the absolute piss out of this Insult made into a Film. I will say dammit your style is still so unique and catchy, punch for punch, man you really have a good thing going here and I can't wait to see you rise above the rest like the true cream of the crop your show is!!💛💚🍻🎉
I love sarcasm taken to the limit!
I met a fellow who watched the movie and commented "In the first minutes there's a nice Harrison Ford cameo, but the old guy who plays Indiana in the rest of the movie... I don't know who he is"
I don't know about the movie but this is a 5 star review
I get it now. Kathleen Kennedy is destroying Lucasfilm so that we appreciate and love Georges creations more.
Ive binged most of your backlog the last few days. This channel is just waiting to blow up. Great stuff.
Archimedes invented the time-fissure device so he could travel to the future and prevent Indian Jones 5 from being made, but he coldcocked by a backwards traveling PWB before he could use it.
Just in time to ruin my day. I mean make my day! For this is obviously the greatest film ever made with the greatest female character ever made of course!
But how can you ever possibly hope to determine the greatest female character in these woke times!?? All are absolutely perfect and flawless in every way!
They picked the most VILE woman they could find on top of it 😂
Indeed, her face lacks feminine features and instead has distinctly masculine features.
One of these days I gotta finally check out some of these indiana jones movies
Next film Indiana meets his black grandsomething
My favorite part was when Helena looked at the camera and said "It's Waller-Bridgin' time!"
She's near The Wall, with no bridge in sight clearly...
Just found this channel, and I love what you are doing here, this is such a genius idea for a channel. Amazing work!
It would make for some great wooosh posts too.
It was a great movie. Mutt was drafted and died fighting in Vietnam. That made it all worth it.
3:34 She is the alpha [head snap], she is the omega [head snap].
This was brilliant!
Well spoken, as always.
6:55 “A Bridge too far”, indeed! 😂
TWC, mate, your editing is second to none 🤣
I have seen many critics to Indiana Jones 5, but yours is really the best 😂 Thanks to the film for enabeling it.
Great review man your parody and satire of it really made me laugh a bunch, more entertaining than this flick could ever be.
I love the sarcasm!
I had to check the title of this clip twice, then read the comments and finally dared to watch it. Phew!
Damsel without distress… brilliant-love it! 😂
Your wordplay is immaculate. You have quickly become my favorite reviewer.
I'm glad words didn't fail you for this abomination. They sure have far me. RIP my fond memories of Indie.
If a three year old girl draws a picture and says “that’s me fighting doctor octopus”, do you burn your collection of mint-in-box Amazing Spider Man figurines?
That’s all this was. A toddler with a crayon. Sure, it was a multibillion dollar crayon. But still a crayon.