What do you think of our alternative marriage? What would be in yours? Let us know in the comments or we have a discussion going on right now our app available free here: goo.gl/PTc6PJ
Wounderful video! I recently got married and have found a healthy dose of the philosophy of pessimism (from SOL and Mr De Botton's books) useful in chopping down the lofty romanticism narritive that has been dangled infront of us. Any idea when the App will be compatible for Android? Many Thanks :)
I don't know why but I find this video terrifying. I would love a relationship to be like this, one full personal growth through acceptance of flaws. But I don't know anyone who would go through with such a process of humility.
This feels more like a support group than a wedding, especially when the audience talks in unison lol. "Hi, my name is Emily, and I am an idiot sandwich." "Hulloo, Emily. We are idiot sandwiches too"
The exchanging of photographs of when they were children, and the speech after it evoked quite a strong sense of understanding (of other people) for me.
My first reaction was like omg cheesy stuff but when the couple exchanged promises to treat the failed and broken person in there with kindness I was moved
I am single right now but I've decided that I will let my future partner watch this video once the relationship gets serious and we consider getting married. Let's see what kind of reaction I will get! That should tell a lot. :) Thanks for such a brilliant idea!
Just a thought. If all marriage ceremonies were like this, nobody would get married. This ceremony is very deep and intimate. Not for the faint of heart. Would I have a ceremony like this? You bet your sweet ass I would!!!!!!
I officiate weddings on occasion. The basic ceremony I have written, from which each couple is invited to create their own addresses some of this, but nowhere near so profoundly or clearly as you have. This is beautiful.
It's a neat idea to have a marriage that will underline what could go wrong in their couple to attempt of making them prepared of the challenges they will face by been together, BUT I feel it is equally important to also underline the good aspects too. After all, they don't get married just to know each other's faults, but also share the good moments of living.
Wow. This is like a Catholic wedding, but rather than proclaiming that all humans are wretched sinners in a distant, almost anonymous way, the guilt and shame of this ceremony is bespoke. Kudos!
We are getting married (again) in two weeks. After 7 years together we've learned so much about each other and ourselves. We've worked so hard at healing and understanding, compassion and humility. I'm so pleased I found this video. We're going to incorporate this into our wedding. Thank you!
This is really interesting, I wonder how the idea of marriage and weddings will change in the future. Most of the people I know that have gotten married recently don’t have any ties with religion, but have gone along with their parents wishes/religious beliefs. It would be interesting to see what happens a few generations down the line when people don’t feel like they have to follow their parents beliefs - if their parents don’t believe in anything.
Just want to say I have really enjoyed the School of Life content, I don't agree with everything but I always find it thought provoking and learn something new, which should be the hope of any discourse :)
I found this to be a surprisingly emotional experience. It felt, unlike so many traditional ceremonies full of hocus-pocus statements and religious references, meaningful.
I like the humility part and it can be added into some part of the vows but not the whole part of it... it is as if like they keep reminding you over and over again how imperfect and broken you are like life does not remind you enough... It's kind of dejecting.
Their vows are rooted in reality and not false expectations. They made themselves completely vulnerable to each other so that they can be aware of the subtle intricacies that makes them who they are. The School of Lifes' approach to what they call alternative marriage, is very thought provoking; insightful.
What a wonderful video! Thanks School of Life! You've changed my life in so many ways. I'm crying on the bus right now. Tears of happiness and clarity. Thanks again.
I actually love this!!!! So much. I would get married in a blink if the current ritual was more like this one, instead of the generally accepted one that prioritises ideals that lie predominantly in obscene over-consumption, show of excess, people-pleasing and dated vows.
This is splendid. Not only will the Ritual of Humility bear the imperfections to their mates, but to themselves. Admittedly, people are forgetful and must be reminded of their minor confessions. When compared to contemporary marriage ceremonies, I recommend this version wholeheartedly. It would be nice to add that these confessions are not told to equip the other with a barbed arsenal of esteem-stripping coercion, but out of faith, confidence, and trust in the integrity and health of their officiated bond. -Rashid, an xNTP.
It is a step in the right direction. But do we really mean what we say to each other when standing up there? Or are we simply playing along with pomp and circumstance.
This is some powerful knowledge and wisdom. Truly. This should be shared with kids in high school. Imperfectly beautiful, harshly realistic, but refreshing and liberating. Excellent job!!!
Oh man that is such a good marriage :) I especially liked the part at 4:28 about being children inside :) , and about the compassion that we (typically or should) show children but not so often adults.
Loved this. Though it is an amalgamation of most of your past videos on relationships. It's beautifully honest, authentic grasp at the individuals failings and embracing of their very human "humanness ". Thanks for this
Interesting. It opened up a lot like marriage counseling, but I dig the humanity and honesty in all that was said. I especially like the tolerance toward one another's inner children and the "we do" as opposed to "I do" and "I do," if the vows are the same. The chanting back from the audience kind of weirded me out a little, but I also understand. I don't know if I would be comfortable saying such things in front of an audience myself, but maybe that hints to some insecurity in me?
I loved this. I never wanted to have a wedding because I didn't like the ritual (the one I often saw growing up in a Catholic/Christian culture). Always thought people looked so sad at their wedding ceremonies. I wanted to look and FEEL happy and joyful with the decision of getting married. Thanks for sharing this. Xo ❣❣❣
As a wedding, no! As a prewedding/engagement private fiancé -fiancee ceremony, yes ( Maybe with few family or friends who are/will pledge to be support system or role models of the future marrieds)
I was desperate to get married even though I’m still young until I saw a video on the news showing an arranged marriage where a twelve year old girl had to marry an 18 year old boy in a poor country and it made me so sad. She was expected to stay home and cook and clean and lose her complete identity. I’m lucky that i live in the USA where I can marry whomever I want to. I hope more countries get on board with this.
This is so much better than traditional weddings! But if I could choose, I'd rather get married quite alone, without family and friends, to concentrate on us instead of others, ceremony or tradition. I was so stressed out that I was truly unhappy. After 15 years I now understand the deep meaning of my vow, but it's too late and I deeply regret it. The wedding shown here would be more sincere, sensible and conscious...
The question should be WHY. The ceremony is not about love, is about the image the others have of the couple. Is way more about society rather than relationship. This is theatrical and fake. You don't need anyone to know how and what you feel about someone except that other person. We live in an age where celebrities and youtubers want to have big proposals and big ceremonies and show people that this is desirable, when it is all just sellfish. A need to find in others the approval that you can't find or provide yourself. You want to have a good marriage, start by not having a ceremony, by just going home alone with someone you find special and say everything you want to say, without writing it, without faking it, without anyone but the one that matters to judge you. You can't ask others to celebrate your love, if you do, is not yours.
This ceremony was full of very interesting, true, and useful ideas that I've seen incorporated into other wedding ceremonies. If I were to get married I would definitely incorporate some of this into a Christian ceremony. Probably not all of the long recitations of the guests, but most of it.
I'm amazed to find that people with similar thing as of mine exist in the world, I thought myself crazy and worrying too much, but hey I'll defenitely meet there team behind "School of life " one day and we will change the world.
Maybe the grand expectations, bursting of illusions is beautiful in and of itself. Maybe that's what life's about. Do you think there is such a thing as trying too hard to get it right?
I think the words and ideas portrayed here are absolutely true and fitting of marriage. Also they are well suited to address the psychological struggles that modern men and women face (mainly unrealistic expectations), perhaps struggles that are far different than the struggles faced by couples years ago. I wish my Catholic marriage ceremony addressed these modern issues this clearly however I must say I would not trade it for this ceremony because this ceremony seemed to be centered on the psychology of marriage yet lacked transcendence and had little to say about what marriage is. In other words, what was portrayed here in the ceremony was in my view necessary yet insufficient. What makes this couple different from a cohabiting couple with the same attitudes? Is marriage permanent? Is it exclusive? Is it a contract? Need it be ordered toward procreation? Is the couple one flesh, or two individuals? Since marriage transcends time and space (practiced universally for thousands of years), it is logical to conclude that it is transcendental in nature. If indeed it is transcendental in nature, then it cannot be reinvented, all that we can do is bring into greater clarity what exactly it is. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on what I have said.
Indeed this aproach to marriage is astonishingly precise and gives the right perspective of what it really should be. However, it is incredibly hard to act this way with our partners. Being honest means, sometimes, to hurt them in ways they may not recover and a shadow of what has been said or done might be cast forever during the time we're together. It requires from the couple a very strong and open mind so both can share who they are, how they feel and even why they are together or should be apart. Having this kind of rationality and to know that as human beings are bound to make mistakes, to feel sad, happy, euphoric, desperate, or even stop loving someone in the same way we did in the past is, again, incredibly hard.
Love it! I got married in a similar way. My Zen monk father in law married us and in he speech he wished for us to have the wisdom to realize that marriage is a path to self-growth, to make each other better, to realize that as individuals we have our own path and that our job in our marriage is to help each other go through it. Later he gave us the book Getting the love you want, which is basically about all what this video says put into practice.
YES. So real and vulnerable. Perhaps for families that embrace both psychological reality and religious traditions, this would be more powerfully used at the rehearsal dinner with select and reliable close family?
My oh my... This kind of ceremony could push me to tears. It's a bit odd to have the public say all this. But I understand. It is nice. Nice and awkward. But nice nonetheless. Good job friends!
People are full of themselves. I wonder who would stand in front of other people and say what are their flaws and shortcomings... especially during their wedding, which is simply a way to show off their love and status. Yeah
I am a failed and broken man and married a failed and broken woman. But I had the humility to know I had issues: I got angry too fast. I screamed then felt guilty. I tried hard to understand where my pain was coming from. I unsuccessfully tried to talk to her about it. But I always put my wife ahead of everything else, a wife with no humility, no compromise, full of self righteousness and pride. I stayed in that marriage for 12 years and every day I convinced myself that things will change even though I had no idea how to change them. It was impossible to talk to her on ANY emotional and intimate level. In 12 years she never said I love you. Never. I tried hard to understand her; I dug into the dirt to find the places she’d been hurt. She had a violent father and she had married him. I was that father standing in the MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING FURY! Silent fury. She wanted to take revenge upon her father. And she did. I was that revenge as she poured her silent rage and indifference onto me. Once she had the flu. She came to me, stood very close to my face as if she was going to kiss me. Then she coughed into my mouth. Yes!!! I know!! I know!! Everybody is saying WHY DID YOU STAY IN THAT MARRIAGE FOR SO LONG?!?!?! I don’t know!! I was afraid of being alone even though that’s all I ever was, is, and forever shall be. And when that final day came, all she said, out of the blue, in the most unexpected moment: YOU SHOULD MOVE OUT. I’m a broken man, I’m a sick man. But I’m not angry. I dug into my pain and found the place where I can be sane... But I pity her.
We're getting married in 10 months with a humanist celebrant and were still to confirm how we are to do the ceremony! This is great!! To the book store! (I also like how this has been released on PayDay)
I fucking hated my wedding. It was for everyone else and had nothing to do with me. I cried before, during, and after. It was so horrible to have my relationship go public like that. On the other hand, lots of hungry people were fed (the wedding was open to the village community). Candles were lit and bread was broken. There was holiness. My experience of my wedding was as bipolar as my higher self and lower self.
The most sober wedding I have seen and for which hoped. Great preference on leaving out any entertainment, including “happy-music”. One sees the genuine, valuably childish, and vulnerable souls in these two pairs of eyes. Almost, I cried.
Ahh if only more people were like-minded we'd be a lot more successful at so many more challenges of which marriage is but one. Profound video, thank you as always
I think that the word « broken » is to extreme i think that the word « flawed » would be more accurate. Because if you are Broken, it means that something broke you. And when you are broken, it means that you can no longer be productive nor think in a productive way . On the other hand when you’re flawed, it means that you can be productive, but you have flaws, meaning that you’re bound to make mistakes and you have holes in a more or less solid structure of being. When you’re broken, it means that you no longer have a structure.
What do you think of our alternative marriage? What would be in yours? Let us know in the comments or we have a discussion going on right now our app available free here: goo.gl/PTc6PJ
Wounderful video! I recently got married and have found a healthy dose of the philosophy of pessimism (from SOL and Mr De Botton's books) useful in chopping down the lofty romanticism narritive that has been dangled infront of us. Any idea when the App will be compatible for Android?
Many Thanks :)
The School of Life excellent. I have alot of these trails of thoughts.
Signing my divorce papers tomorrow. I truly wish we had gone into it with these things in our hearts. Thank you.
I don't know why but I find this video terrifying. I would love a relationship to be like this, one full personal growth through acceptance of flaws. But I don't know anyone who would go through with such a process of humility.
I am surely going to do that
We just modeled our wedding based on this video :D We got married on Aug 18, 2018.
There's nothing more romantic than rational mutual understanding!
"I will choose to love the broken child within you..." Truly beautiful words
That was actually strange, but it still makes more sense than any conventional wedding I've seen.
This feels more like a support group than a wedding, especially when the audience talks in unison lol.
"Hi, my name is Emily, and I am an idiot sandwich."
"Hulloo, Emily. We are idiot sandwiches too"
This made me cry... the part where they exchanged pictures of themselves as children and said their vows after that... Oh my god. This is beautiful.
This is a good thought, but I can't help but think it seems rather...clinical
This is so important. Weddings aren't about decorations. They're about people.
And struggle. And coming together.
The exchanging of photographs of when they were children, and the speech after it evoked quite a strong sense of understanding (of other people) for me.
My first reaction was like omg cheesy stuff but when the couple exchanged promises to treat the failed and broken person in there with kindness I was moved
I am single right now but I've decided that I will let my future partner watch this video once the relationship gets serious and we consider getting married. Let's see what kind of reaction I will get! That should tell a lot. :) Thanks for such a brilliant idea!
Just a thought. If all marriage ceremonies were like this, nobody would get married. This ceremony is very deep and intimate. Not for the faint of heart. Would I have a ceremony like this? You bet your sweet ass I would!!!!!!
I officiate weddings on occasion. The basic ceremony I have written, from which each couple is invited to create their own addresses some of this, but nowhere near so profoundly or clearly as you have. This is beautiful.
It's a neat idea to have a marriage that will underline what could go wrong in their couple to attempt of making them prepared of the challenges they will face by been together, BUT I feel it is equally important to also underline the good aspects too. After all, they don't get married just to know each other's faults, but also share the good moments of living.
Wow. This is like a Catholic wedding, but rather than proclaiming that all humans are wretched sinners in a distant, almost anonymous way, the guilt and shame of this ceremony is bespoke. Kudos!
We are getting married (again) in two weeks. After 7 years together we've learned so much about each other and ourselves. We've worked so hard at healing and understanding, compassion and humility. I'm so pleased I found this video. We're going to incorporate this into our wedding. Thank you!
That book of imperfection should be a compulsory exchanged items at any wedding!
This is really interesting, I wonder how the idea of marriage and weddings will change in the future. Most of the people I know that have gotten married recently don’t have any ties with religion, but have gone along with their parents wishes/religious beliefs. It would be interesting to see what happens a few generations down the line when people don’t feel like they have to follow their parents beliefs - if their parents don’t believe in anything.
Just want to say I have really enjoyed the School of Life content, I don't agree with everything but I always find it thought provoking and learn something new, which should be the hope of any discourse :)
I found this to be a surprisingly emotional experience. It felt, unlike so many traditional ceremonies full of hocus-pocus statements and religious references, meaningful.
I liked it. It was so honest and realistic in a beautiful way.
I like the humility part and it can be added into some part of the vows but not the whole part of it... it is as if like they keep reminding you over and over again how imperfect and broken you are like life does not remind you enough... It's kind of dejecting.
Their vows are rooted in reality and not false expectations. They made themselves completely vulnerable to each other so that they can be aware of the subtle intricacies that makes them who they are. The School of Lifes' approach to what they call alternative marriage, is very thought provoking; insightful.
I could be wrong, but from what I understand, this has the essence of the basic idea behind the first noble truth in Buddhism
What a wonderful video! Thanks School of Life! You've changed my life in so many ways. I'm crying on the bus right now. Tears of happiness and clarity. Thanks again.
I actually love this!!!! So much. I would get married in a blink if the current ritual was more like this one, instead of the generally accepted one that prioritises ideals that lie predominantly in obscene over-consumption, show of excess, people-pleasing and dated vows.
This is splendid. Not only will the Ritual of Humility bear the imperfections to their mates, but to themselves. Admittedly, people are forgetful and must be reminded of their minor confessions. When compared to contemporary marriage ceremonies, I recommend this version wholeheartedly.
It would be nice to add that these confessions are not told to equip the other with a barbed arsenal of esteem-stripping coercion, but out of faith, confidence, and trust in the integrity and health of their officiated bond.
-Rashid, an xNTP.
This is absolutely the way to get married... With honesty and love right from the start. 💗
I really like that you guys are not wasting resources for captioning and using the youtube’s auto captioner.
Thank you
Perfect. Truth is so touching. I'm crying here. And I NEVER cry in marriage cerimonies.
It is a step in the right direction. But do we really mean what we say to each other when standing up there? Or are we simply playing along with pomp and circumstance.
This is some powerful knowledge and wisdom. Truly. This should be shared with kids in high school. Imperfectly beautiful, harshly realistic, but refreshing and liberating. Excellent job!!!
I'm getting married in October and this is really helpful. Showed it to my wife to be and she also enjoyed the insights.
Only wedding to actually have pulled at my heart strings. 😂
i almost cried this was beautiful. it also did not actually compromise any of the usual parts of a traditional wedding
it's scary how relevant this topic is to me rn. keep up the good work, guys!
When she turned to the guy and asked "simon, do you accept you are a failed and broken human being?" I audibly went "OOF!" It caught me by surprise!
Oh man that is such a good marriage :) I especially liked the part at 4:28 about being children inside :) , and about the compassion that we (typically or should) show children but not so often adults.
The exchange of childhood photos was especially beautiful to me.
This collective commitment goes from *absolutely hilarious* to *absolutely moving*.
Loved this. Though it is an amalgamation of most of your past videos on relationships. It's beautifully honest, authentic grasp at the individuals failings and embracing of their very human "humanness ". Thanks for this
creative 😍
I wish I could marry and have a wedding this wise way 💔
This 'real-life' versions of your videos are so down to earth!
Interesting. It opened up a lot like marriage counseling, but I dig the humanity and honesty in all that was said. I especially like the tolerance toward one another's inner children and the "we do" as opposed to "I do" and "I do," if the vows are the same.
The chanting back from the audience kind of weirded me out a little, but I also understand. I don't know if I would be comfortable saying such things in front of an audience myself, but maybe that hints to some insecurity in me?
TheHouseElf *Exactly* :)
Your channel is changing lives and giving us a meaningful psychological insights about ourselves. Thank you for that.
Haha, *we are all broken* 😂😂😂 Damn that was depressing AF
All relationships need this kinda start.
These sort of confessions belong in the dating period....long before the wedding.
I loved this. I never wanted to have a wedding because I didn't like the ritual (the one I often saw growing up in a Catholic/Christian culture). Always thought people looked so sad at their wedding ceremonies. I wanted to look and FEEL happy and joyful with the decision of getting married. Thanks for sharing this. Xo ❣❣❣
As a wedding, no! As a prewedding/engagement private fiancé -fiancee ceremony, yes ( Maybe with few family or friends who are/will pledge to be support system or role models of the future marrieds)
Rituals are fine if the attendants are sincere and humble towards the couple.
Let's all make this our goal; pragmatic and honest happiness!
Gosh! I loved it! Everybody needs to watch it. Please put portuguese subtitles! And also, will there be a Portuguese version of the book?
I was desperate to get married even though I’m still young until I saw a video on the news showing an arranged marriage where a twelve year old girl had to marry an 18 year old boy in a poor country and it made me so sad. She was expected to stay home and cook and clean and lose her complete identity. I’m lucky that i live in the USA where I can marry whomever I want to. I hope more countries get on board with this.
This is so much better than traditional weddings! But if I could choose, I'd rather get married quite alone, without family and friends, to concentrate on us instead of others, ceremony or tradition. I was so stressed out that I was truly unhappy. After 15 years I now understand the deep meaning of my vow, but it's too late and I deeply regret it. The wedding shown here would be more sincere, sensible and conscious...
Your voice is calm and relaxing I could listen to it all day long.
It is worth remembering that he average marriage conceptions and expectations vay from place to place.
This video gives you a lot of ideas on how marriage works, and the responsibilities that lie ahead.
The question should be WHY.
The ceremony is not about love, is about the image the others have of the couple. Is way more about society rather than relationship.
This is theatrical and fake. You don't need anyone to know how and what you feel about someone except that other person.
We live in an age where celebrities and youtubers want to have big proposals and big ceremonies and show people that this is desirable, when it is all just sellfish.
A need to find in others the approval that you can't find or provide yourself.
You want to have a good marriage, start by not having a ceremony, by just going home alone with someone you find special and say everything you want to say, without writing it, without faking it, without anyone but the one that matters to judge you.
You can't ask others to celebrate your love, if you do, is not yours.
This is absolutely wonderful! ❤️
Wow, i love that concept. Wish i did that for my wedding.
How many of these marriages fail?
Does anyone notice the imbalance between marriage and divorce. It's super easy to get married and super difficult to get divorced.
People congratulate married people & feel sorry or are kinda judgy towards divorced people.
This ceremony was full of very interesting, true, and useful ideas that I've seen incorporated into other wedding ceremonies. If I were to get married I would definitely incorporate some of this into a Christian ceremony. Probably not all of the long recitations of the guests, but most of it.
I gasped! Absolutely mind-blowing! This will make it to my wedding FOR SURE!
I'm amazed to find that people with similar thing as of mine exist in the world, I thought myself crazy and worrying too much, but hey I'll defenitely meet there team behind "School of life " one day and we will change the world.
Who is chopping onions here? It's beautiful!
Also we need video on " How to make the transition from" single" ?" :D
Maybe the grand expectations, bursting of illusions is beautiful in and of itself. Maybe that's what life's about. Do you think there is such a thing as trying too hard to get it right?
I think the words and ideas portrayed here are absolutely true and fitting of marriage. Also they are well suited to address the psychological struggles that modern men and women face (mainly unrealistic expectations), perhaps struggles that are far different than the struggles faced by couples years ago. I wish my Catholic marriage ceremony addressed these modern issues this clearly however I must say I would not trade it for this ceremony because this ceremony seemed to be centered on the psychology of marriage yet lacked transcendence and had little to say about what marriage is. In other words, what was portrayed here in the ceremony was in my view necessary yet insufficient. What makes this couple different from a cohabiting couple with the same attitudes? Is marriage permanent? Is it exclusive? Is it a contract? Need it be ordered toward procreation? Is the couple one flesh, or two individuals? Since marriage transcends time and space (practiced universally for thousands of years), it is logical to conclude that it is transcendental in nature. If indeed it is transcendental in nature, then it cannot be reinvented, all that we can do is bring into greater clarity what exactly it is. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on what I have said.
I like how these videos always have really good looking people.
Wow! Never thought about it this way... It's seaeiously amazing, when I get married I want to have this kind of wedding!!!
The best marriage cerimony ever!
Indeed this aproach to marriage is astonishingly precise and gives the right perspective of what it really should be. However, it is incredibly hard to act this way with our partners. Being honest means, sometimes, to hurt them in ways they may not recover and a shadow of what has been said or done might be cast forever during the time we're together. It requires from the couple a very strong and open mind so both can share who they are, how they feel and even why they are together or should be apart.
Having this kind of rationality and to know that as human beings are bound to make mistakes, to feel sad, happy, euphoric, desperate, or even stop loving someone in the same way we did in the past is, again, incredibly hard.
YES. So real and vulnerable.
Before the marriage sign a prenup.
Love it! I got married in a similar way. My Zen monk father in law married us and in he speech he wished for us to have the wisdom to realize that marriage is a path to self-growth, to make each other better, to realize that as individuals we have our own path and that our job in our marriage is to help each other go through it. Later he gave us the book Getting the love you want, which is basically about all what this video says put into practice.
Best thing on the internet.
This needs to be on trending
YES. So real and vulnerable. Perhaps for families that embrace both psychological reality and religious traditions, this would be more powerfully used at the rehearsal dinner with select and reliable close family?
I would actually get married this way. Seems unusual but it's way more realistic.
My oh my... This kind of ceremony could push me to tears.
It's a bit odd to have the public say all this. But I understand. It is nice. Nice and awkward. But nice nonetheless.
Good job friends!
People are full of themselves. I wonder who would stand in front of other people and say what are their flaws and shortcomings... especially during their wedding, which is simply a way to show off their love and status. Yeah
I welcome this wholeheartedly
This is so lovely you're doing really amazing work Alain!
The bride is goddamn gorgeou.
This is how you bring a family together.
why getting married?
I am a failed and broken man and married a failed and broken woman. But I had the humility to know I had issues: I got angry too fast. I screamed then felt guilty. I tried hard to understand where my pain was coming from. I unsuccessfully tried to talk to her about it. But I always put my wife ahead of everything else, a wife with no humility, no compromise, full of self righteousness and pride. I stayed in that marriage for 12 years and every day I convinced myself that things will change even though I had no idea how to change them. It was impossible to talk to her on ANY emotional and intimate level. In 12 years she never said I love you. Never. I tried hard to understand her; I dug into the dirt to find the places she’d been hurt. She had a violent father and she had married him. I was that father standing in the MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING FURY! Silent fury. She wanted to take revenge upon her father. And she did. I was that revenge as she poured her silent rage and indifference onto me. Once she had the flu. She came to me, stood very close to my face as if she was going to kiss me. Then she coughed into my mouth. Yes!!! I know!! I know!! Everybody is saying WHY DID YOU STAY IN THAT MARRIAGE FOR SO LONG?!?!?! I don’t know!! I was afraid of being alone even though that’s all I ever was, is, and forever shall be. And when that final day came, all she said, out of the blue, in the most unexpected moment: YOU SHOULD MOVE OUT. I’m a broken man, I’m a sick man. But I’m not angry. I dug into my pain and found the place where I can be sane... But I pity her.
This was beautiful & inspiring!
We're getting married in 10 months with a humanist celebrant and were still to confirm how we are to do the ceremony! This is great!! To the book store! (I also like how this has been released on PayDay)
This was so beautiful 😭❤️👏🏼
I love it.
I think I'm g0ing to show this at my wedding and do something similar.
I fucking hated my wedding. It was for everyone else and had nothing to do with me. I cried before, during, and after. It was so horrible to have my relationship go public like that. On the other hand, lots of hungry people were fed (the wedding was open to the village community). Candles were lit and bread was broken. There was holiness. My experience of my wedding was as bipolar as my higher self and lower self.
The most sober wedding I have seen and for which hoped.
Great preference on leaving out any entertainment, including “happy-music”.
One sees the genuine, valuably childish, and vulnerable souls in these two pairs of eyes.
Almost, I cried.
Ahh if only more people were like-minded we'd be a lot more successful at so many more challenges of which marriage is but one. Profound video, thank you as always
I wish the lady who plays the bride would do more of her art and architecture analyses; I really enjoyed them!
I think that the word « broken » is to extreme i think that the word « flawed » would be more accurate. Because if you are Broken, it means that something broke you. And when you are broken, it means that you can no longer be productive nor think in a productive way . On the other hand when you’re flawed, it means that you can be productive, but you have flaws, meaning that you’re bound to make mistakes and you have holes in a more or less solid structure of being. When you’re broken, it means that you no longer have a structure.
I will be renewing my vows with this ceremony😀❤
Is it necessary to get married?
What I mean is : Is it really necessary?
Because I don't see myself doing it.