I write gay fanfiction as an asexual non-binary person deliberately because I can’t see myself in it. I love romantic/sexual stories, but I don’t want those moments for myself. So I write characters as different from me as possible to distance myself and allow myself to enjoy the story
Same here, almost word for word! I've always really enjoyed the types of stories you find in fanfiction, but very much as a witness and not a participant. I actually dabbled in reader-insert/"x reader" fanfic before, but not because I had any desire to imagine myself in those situations - it was just for a blank face I didn't need to develop in order to focus solely on the single character I wanted to write (looking back, the reader probably got very little action lol)
I'm aromantic pansexual. Irl I'm always looking at romantic couples like "why do you do this just for him? No!!! U don't have to give up ur career for a man!!! Whyyy." Things like that. But in fanfiction I only ship the couples that are all 'i will die for/with you' or 'i love you so I'll let u kill me rather than fight you'.
@@silversleeper1193 Oh and I absolutely agree about distancing myself from the character. Can't stand xreader bcoz of that. I don't want to be part of the story at all.
oh the feeling. I didn't think I've ever be more excited as when I saw Clexa kiss, until I saw Lumity getting together because Clexa was awesome but they were the first time I'd ever seen a canon lesbian relationship on screen that featured people who weren't adults.
I was writing little short stories about the people in my Oregon Trail (mid-90s version) wagon were falling in love and totally unaware of my bisexuality.
fanfics are simply the superior form of entertainment to me. i can read whole novel-length stories about characters and worlds that i already know and love, for FREE. fanfic authors are doing the lords work, to be quite honest. ive loved them for so long, i think about 15 years now. ive read so many stories that made me excited or cry ((or horny)) or laugh, its really wonderful. and Ao3 is so good, that tagging system spoiled me for every library and bookstore 😭 how am i supposed to buy a book without knowing any tags?? no rating/archive warnings????? barbaric! also obviously its where you get the best queer stories. even, or especially, if you want to wacky, weird, kinky, problematic or out-of-the-box types of queer stories, not just heartstopper 😭
Ao3 tags are amazing! I wish books were tagged like that too and you could filter them. I have noticed that some published m/m books will list tags in their blurbs which makes me think the authors started off in fanfic!
Fanfiction didn't make me gay, but it DID make me friends with a girl who I then fell in love with, giving me a nice bisexual crisis in my 30s. Yay. :P
Even the ‘straight’ fanfiction wasn’t really straight, when I used to read percabeth fanfiction in middle school, half of the time, Percy and Annabeth were bi or pan (which is so real)
Your point about male characters having more depth was a massive lightbulb moment for me! I’ve never been able to understand why I read so much M/M when I… don’t really have much interest in men outside of fandoms, but this is exactly it!
I remember this discussion from way back when fanfic first got popular on livejournal, and it was a huge lightbulb moment for me, too. I just realized I’ve been into fanfic for over two decades. I legitimately consume more fanfic than official media.
This is a huge point. Once I heard this, I realized that I discovered fanfiction when chicklit was starting to be popular in publishing. I felt more and more disconnected with what publishing kept saying I would like to read.
"In writing fanfiction, we don't just rewrite stories, we make those stories strong enough to handle people like us" omg that made me almost tear up in a good way ❤❤❤
Fanfiction made me gay & definitely saved my life! Growing up in a fundamentalist cult, I didn't have access to media like the TV or the internet. When I was 17 I finally got a smartphone because I needed it for school. With the phone came the "illegal" music and with the music came the fanfics. I read all the hetero romance stuff and one day, there was a gay couple in a story that had been tagged as hetero romance. I knew it was forbidden, but I HAD to know how the story ended! That's when I started devouring queer fanfictions. It was the only queer representation that I had and even though I thought it was a sin to reas this... -I couldn't stop. It felt so right and weirdly familiar. In the darkest times of my identity and religious crisis I started to write the FLUFFIEST of stories. They helped me to escape from the reality of my hateful home, before I finally was able to move out and live free as the happy queer trans man that I am today. Five years later... I haven't been able to write since, but I thank the gods and goddesses of wattpad & co who helped with my inner outing, gave me the strength to fight and saved my life!
Fun fact: I had to write fanfic for a job application. Basically, I want to work in television writing and was applying for a fellowship. The fellowship requested that I submit a “spec” (speculative episode) from a list of shows they had to prove I can mimic the writing of a story that I did not originate. In TV writing, you might get hired when a show is in its later seasons, so this is an important skill. So yes, it is a true statement that I wrote WWDITS fanfic for a job application.
Oh I would have failed that application TREMENDOUSLY. The only thing I didn't originate but I can mimick is voices, both talking and singing. I can't vary my writing style to save my life!
My wife and I met through a F/F fan fiction about a Spanish TV show (Los Hombres De Paco). We didn't understand 99% of what they were saying but fifteen years later, we are still together. She moved countries to be with me. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. Thank you for this video. It was like a trip down memory lane. Take care.
This is the wife! Without lesbian fanfiction I would not have met my wife from overseas. I thank my wife for writing and I thank the internet. She is the love of my life. Finding her and her fanfic was like finding a needle in a haystack. We didn't even understand the language the show was in😂
@@maicoaudiThat is so amazing and wholesome! I love that sometimes the internet can still bring people together. Much love and happiness to both of you!
@@maicoaudi I love the fact that two foreigners watched the same Spanish tv show without understanding a lick of it and then met through a fanfic of said tv show. Now I'm so curious what the fic was about xDDDD
Fanfiction was very important for me. I learned a lot about being queer and trans through it before I found other safe places. (Edit now that I have time to write more: I don't think I will ever be able to articulate it quite as well as others do, the feelings of otherness and of community that comes with being queer. Or how wonderful it was to have on space where it was just- normal. The majority of stories. Suddently, being queer wasn't a strange, rare thing. It was a thing thousands of stories explained and shared, something innumerable people were and wrote about. Having that space, where being like that wasn't so strange, was essential to me. I learned of respect better by reading from the perspective of those others judged than I ever did hearing a lecture from a teacher or parent. When I figured out I was queer, I panicked and tried to shove it away, only to once again find safety in fiction, in fanfiction. I read once again about queerness, about gender and the internalised prejudices I knew i also carried. It was so very important for me to have that. When I am confronted with homophobia, transphobia or even dysphoria, I come home to thousands of stories made or read by people like me. I know I am not alone. If I comment and say i, too, am queer, I know its unlikely i will be called a freak or aberration like I was in other places online. I know many like me will find me and say "me too". Reading and finding so many stories about people like me, it made me feel like I really wasn't alone.
Addendum to the definition for 'ships': ships are not necessarily rooted for to become canon! Sometimes a ship is taking two characters who would be horrendous to each other just because the dynamics are fun to explore and play with ^_^
"I'm In This Photo and I Don't Like It" lol It certainly did not make me pan, but it brought relationships, identities, and lifestyles to my attention that a rural teen in the early 2000s may not have come across otherwise. It also continues to expose me to thoughts and ideas from folks who have different lived experiences to me.
Absolutely, especially in older media (Star Trek, Starsky & Hutch, Sentinel etc) there were few if any fully fleshed out female characters. And to anyone complaining about "why can't you just let men be friends" - that's what the canon of those exact same shows is for. The fact that those men have deep bonds is what appealed to the slash writers...
Blair moves in with Jim for a week until he can find another place because his apartment blew up. Four years later, he's still there because ... reasons.
I never comment here, but I am coming to tell you that in the quasi-canonical tie in book series Anna & Elsa: Sisterhood Is The Strongest Magic, there is a book where Elsa goes off to what appears to be a desert country looking for a Princess she thinks has fire powers only no she's just from a desert kingdom. Her name is Marisol and Elsa meets her and immediately thinks of how beautiful her name is and how lovely she is and holds hands with her. THIS HAPPENS IN THE BOOK A WARM WELCOME. Alas Marisol has not been shown in any other Frozen media, but Elsa, someone who has touch issues immediately held hands with a Princess she thought was beautiful and has a lovely name.
even when the characters aren't on the ace spectrum, i've found the most relatably-acespec writers in fanfiction. i often comment on a fic saying how i was surprised with how resonant it was to me (esp. if it's a story that isn't about ace characters) and then the writer responds saying they were drawing on their acespec experience. too bad they haven't fallen in love with me yet though
Absolutely loved this video - bravo! As a gay man, fanfiction is usually the only place I can see myself authentically represented in the worlds that I already enjoy from popular media. I also find it rather therapeutic, not just validating.
The fanfics didn't make me queer but they helped me feel more comfortable in who I am and figure some stuff out. I've started reading fanfics in my teens and now I'm in my early 30s and still consume fanfics just with slightly different themes. Ive also used all kinds of sites for it and even saw a few shut down.
I *adore* fanfiction. Yes, there's always weird stuff out there but everything has its pros and cons. I dedicate half of my weeks making time to read fanfics. But for the question of "is it gay?", it's important to note that fanfiction itself is wish fulfillment; non hetero or cis audiences being constantly disappointed of seeing characters with a lot of subtext either dying or end up being straight is what makes us pick up the pen. Also, it's just plain fun and educational of learning how to hone the voice of a character and putting them in scenarios for your amusement. A great channel I always go to for anything fic/fandom related is ColeyDoesThings.
Mostly straight and fannish woman here! It’s a pretty sad but straight forward reason for me.I hated seeing myself in fanfic, especially in sexual contexts. The way women and female sexuality is portrayed is extremely…male. Desire is always spontaneous, orgasms are always fireworks. Women don’t need to waste time with pesky foreplay, they just jump right in and finish at the exact same time as men. It made me feel extremely anxious and like there was something broken about me for not being able to relate with that experience at all. MLM was a nice space for me to enjoy romance, project myself in those situations, without having to think about myself and my body and the way that as a woman, some men will always see me as a sexual object rather than a human being. This sort of representation actually made me think that I must be asexual for a while. It didn’t help that I had OCD too where I’d frequently get sexual intrusive thoughts. This made wanting to think about sex terrifying for me. Then I read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski and my life kinda changed. The way women are shown in media and the way that the way we experience sex and attraction is completely different to reality. I learned about responsive desire, what orgasms actually are, arousal non-concordance. I realized I wasn’t broken or asexual (not that being ace is bad or that it makes you less of a person, just wasn’t me). I was completely average. It’s just that media made me feel that because I didn’t behave like a man, then there was something missing in my experience.
Earlyy!! As a person who reads TONS fanfiction ı would say fanfictions are one of the things that helped me realize if ı accepted myself there would be atleast one person who accepted me too and ı am so glad it helped me with that ı already came out to my friends and came out to some cousins whom were acceptive
On a different note : reading fanfiction definitely helped me realize I was ace, because WHAT DO YOU /MEAN/ PEOPLE /ACTUALLY/ CARE ABOUT SEX ?????????????? ... Yeaaaaah, that was quite a discovery for me -- I was dead convinced that everyone was just doing a bang-up job of pretending, just like I was trying to :')))
I got into a niche of the fan fiction community that honestly changed me in so many ways. When I was in my early teens, I found an online, text-based group role playing game (a MOO, which is a subgroup of MUDs) where we were all playing our own characters in the setting of the Dragonriders of Pern books by Anne McCaffrey, a few hundred years after the canon events (mostly for copyright reasons). That’s where I perfected my touch typing, learned so much about boundaries and autonomy and psychosocial concepts (you can’t say what other people do, only what you do. Other people can’t read your character’s mind, so while you can put your character’s thoughts, other people can only react to your words and actions, and so many more). As an autistic person, it gave me so much insight into social interactions and helped me build a framework for respectful and realistic communication. I didn’t get to participate in any of the less-PG activities, as my mother took it upon herself to be in that space as well to protect me (which I am ambivalent about now as a parent, half understanding the need to protect children on the internet, half still frustrated that there was absolutely nowhere where I got to explore the world by myself until I got into college, being homeschooled from kindergarten to high school graduation). I didn’t get to do much exploration of my sexuality or my gender, but there were most certainly hints laid down. Perhaps one of the first was my character Phoenix (female) Impressing a blue (male) dragon, which surprised me deeply but also gave me food for thought. Years later, after finally figuring out that I’m nonbinary, it makes so much sense, and honestly I probably would retcon that character to be nonbinary as well. This is also where my mild fascination with the field of medicine and the topic of disability really flowered into a special interest/hyperfixation. Phoenix had albinism and a birth difference (six fingers). My character Lhisiya was a member of the Healer Hall, and due to there only being two or three native herbal remedies, I got to research all about the herbs that the colonists might have taken with them, all the different conditions that people could get, and the way one might deal with them in a mostly medieval technology level. I lived in that co-created world for years. I composed real songs and programmed them into my songbook as a Harper, I explored an uncomfortable power dynamic cishet relationship between my Master Herder and her Apprentice love interest, defended my IRL friend’s dropped activity level and lobbied for her to still be Searched while she was having surgery for her scoliosis. It meant so much to me to be able to be treated as an adult, and to be approached, appreciated, and accepted as whoever I wanted to be. Instead of being my mother’s half-silent shadow, I could be known as myself, and instead of people writing me off as an overweight, shy, weird teenage “girl”, I got to be respected and treated as a valuable asset for my skill with words and descriptions. It was magical. I made friends through it that I later met in real life, friends of all different ages, genders, sexualities, and backgrounds. Thanks to being in it with my mother, who it also became very important to, I got to go to my first convention, and met the son of the author, who encouraged me in my writing and gave me absolutely invaluable advice and encouragement. It also prepared me for the disappointment and betrayal of having the author of media you adore show herself to be a truly terrible person. Anne McCaffrey hated fanfic and had our game shut down three separate times for “copyright violation”. It was baffling and hurtful that she’d spend money on lawyers to close down a little corner of the internet full of her most fervent fans, fans who loved her world so much that we wanted to live in it. Who were the people buying “The People of Pern” and “The Atlas of Pern” and a copy of every book so we could have every detail possible to make our world as real as possible? It was us! It was free advertising, and it kept her books firmly in the forefront of our minds. But apparently she couldn’t stand it. (She also was cold and rude in person, and almost ran over my mother’s toes with her mobility scooter on her way past her in the hall). It was good preparation for the betrayal of JK Rowling later, and losing love for the story because it became inextricably linked to the feelings of resentment, hurt, and frustration. It helps me even now when dealing with the people in my life who are still Harry Potter fans. Hopefully that wasn’t too off topic! I know it isn’t necessarily the first thing people think of when they think of fanfic, but it’s been just as influential for me. 😊
One thing fanfiction made me realize is how i am just no interested in having a relationship and couldn't relate to any experience, straight or gay. So in a way fanfiction made me realize i am asexual and aromantic.
Same, here. I always just thought, meh I'm not that interested in sex or I haven't found the right person. Fanfiction gave me a hook I could hang my complete and utter disinterest in sex on. It didn't change my life much but now I could just tell people "no thanks, I'm asexual" instead of constantly trying to avoid matchmaking attempts. Sometimes labels can be helpful.
Joining fandoms made me aware of so many things, especially that being ace can be a thing and does not not mean "being broken" (as an ex of me repeatedly stated). It made me learn about labels and that I like them, and it gave me so much writing practice! And also hours upon hours of content FOR FREE, with all the stories one would never find in a small town library in a Germany. This video was just lovely, thank you very much!
Also same. I’m nearly 40 and I remember reading fanfic on dial-up internet (10 mins to load a page of text 😅) and printing off pages of fic to read later from all the Angelfire fansites etc!I I’m also old enough to remember when fanfiction . Net first started and its first (far superior) logo. It really pioneered the first general fic rating system (NC-17 etc). Now AO3 has taken over and I love my inbox filling with notifications ❤.
Yup. I'm 33 and started reading fanfic in 2001 on a small Finnish Harry Potter forum :D At first I was like "why is this all gay??", then shrugged and just decided to roll with it xDD At 11yo lol. I have AO3 tabs permanently open on my browser still.
@@Ancientgalaxy oh god I remember reading really explicit fanfics at school computers not realizing they could track that. Then those sites got locked and I was mortified
I believe that one reason for the popularity of M/M fanfic is that it takes the attention away from us women. For once we are not the object of the male gaze. Also Buffy
Fanfiction made me feel safe and accepted during a time when i wasn't. I've met people now who make me feel safe and accepted, but at this point, fanfiction holds such a special place in my heart that i can't stop reading it, lol 😅
FanFiction is a great tool for representation for any number of niche groups, not merely sexuality. I've read fanfics about characters who have had various disabilities I had previously not known much about, or fanfics set in cultures or lifestyles I hadn't seen represented a lot (like Amish AUs or that one Harry Potter story going into great detail about naturism).
YESSS!!! The video I was waiting for. Honestly, fanfic awakened shit in me and I'm so happy I'm in this community Edit: No way, Surfshark!! The Jessica and Tomska connection is REAL
The fanfiction I get into and write consists of lesbian characters having an enemies to lovers plot line In writing a book that is purely OUAT fanfiction and an excuse for me to make SwanQueen canon, I praise this video. (It’s called Never Ever After and I’ve written three words because I procrastinate)
I've been waiting for this this video since the day I clicked subscribe years ago. Jessica has always referenced her fanfic reading and writing days so even just seeing the length of this video has me so excited that I can't keep writing this comment I just need to watch now!!!
At the beginning of this video, I wondered if you’d mention Melissa Good. I was not disappointed! She was my favorite Xena episode’s writer. She’s the only writer (of any media) I’ve ever emailed to tell her how much I enjoyed her work! I didn’t know her from Fanfic, just read about her in the Xena magazine around the time her episodes aired. ❤
I'm still not over the death of Lexa 😢. The chemistry between her and Clarke was soooo amazing, and it's because (in part) of their relationship that I realized my bisexuality.
I belong to a fandom that is big enough to have conventions. I have found that in real life my fandom is really inclusive and a safe space. It's also very LGBT+ I have met more LGBT+, people with various chronic illnesses, neuro divergent people, mobility affected people. A really diverse group. Much more so than I meet in my everyday life. It might be an interesting topic for you to explore. Whether fandom is more inclusive.
Hazbin Hotel. Best representation I've seen. But like... it's just me. Also, Rick Riordan writes really good queer books. Which are also interesting. It's just good
The day has finally come where Jessica has done a fanfic deep dive vid, and a wonderfully comprehensive one too! 💕 Reading and writing fanfic helped me to accept my queerness, and I received more acceptance for it in fandom than I ever have irl. Fanfic saves lives.
Great timing, the most big fanfiction site in Russia got blocked by the government a couple of days ago because of gay content Currently it's available again, but you can't find any queer story
Idk when the Marauders fandom decided Regulus Black was trans (I took a few years away and came back to a whole new world) but I have come across SO many trans Regulus stories. When I was growing up, I NEVER came across trans fanon like that, so while it’s not always GOOD representation, I’ve really just enjoyed that trans characters are becoming more common in the fanfiction I’ve read (not just him, obviously, he’s just the one I see the most in the HP fandom lately, especially since I’ve gotten away from reading about Harry and his generation altogether pretty much).
I've been a fan of your channel for a while so it was a lovely surprise to see my stats work featured in this video! I'm glad you found the stats interesting, and I too have a lot of questions and theories about the relative lack of F/F fics.
For me it was D.E.B.S. that made me realise, fanfic came later. But I am autistic and have alexitymia (and dyslexia I’m pretty sure I misspelled that) fanfic taught me how to tell what I’m feeling and what emotions are like and helped me understand and process my feelings more.
Another thing to note about The 100, is that the showrunner did the same thing to the next relationship that fans rooted for, Clarke and Bellamy. He was so angry that his show was on The CW and marketed to teenagers that he did revenge plots on the fans. He's an actual infant.
Also, there was foreshadowing for Lexa's death like 4 episodes in to her run (if not before that) which means they wrote that character with the inevitable conclusion being her death. They mishandled her character literally every step of the way.
I've never really been into fanfiction BUT fanfiction have siblings. One is rpg. The one we used to play on forums and now play on discord (and it's been done on Facebook, Tumblr, MSN...). RPG is definitely my thing and I can say it follows exactly the same logic as fanfiction. Most of the time it's kind of a fanfiction written by multiple hands. For a long time I thought I liked it because it allows me to escape reality. But it's only partly true. I realised it has been, and is still, a strong tool to question my gender identity, my sexuality but also to explore my trauma without not feeling exposed or to deal with an important issue in my life. Most of the time, I don't understand right away why I create one specific character. It's only restrospectively that it clicks. All this to say that fanfiction, rpg and surely other similar things are such a wonderful way to create whag we need to explore who we are without feeling in danger. I wish it was seen less like something a little bit childish and more like the wonderful land of freedom and discovery it actually is.
Being part of so many fandoms definitely allowed me to explore my queerness. Reading about aro, ace and genderqueer characters opened up a whole world for me "Oh. OH HOLD ON. That's how I feel!" And yes I do write fanfiction :]
I truly don’t know if I would have ever realized my own asexuality if it wasn’t for fic. I’m thankful for the authors who poured their efforts into writing stories that helped me to see myself and imagine myself more happy and free.
I've been active in fandom since I was barely in the double digits and yet having fandom 'explained' to me, lacking any judgement or ill-informed criticism and instead filled with love and kindness from a fellow fan, is something I didn't know I somehow needed until now. Fandom has been a primary coping mechanism for me for _many_ things throughout my whole life, and I only realised that just recently because it's just... always been there. Beautifully queer, wonderful escapism when I desperately needed to not exist for a moment. It's also what got me into writing, both fanfic and my own stuff down the line. Even over two decades later I'm so grateful for fandom. And man, thanks for reminding me of my huge crush on Eliza Dushku. Faith was possibly my first female character crush? Not counting Disney characters at least, otherwise it would probably be Esmeralda.
Yes! Yes! Here is an enby person! Usually I really have problems to find a ship for me. Sometimes I like gay ships, sometimes I like straight ships. I like everything as long as I'm interested in it. Since the Pokémon S/V DLC came out I started to hyperfixate on a character. I ship him with another boy and finally I was confident enough to tell myself: "Hey, you weren't wrong about that you're genderfluid." I just step into the shoes of him and I really enjoy the gay romance because... Yes I wish I could be a man sometimes. But I can't abandon my woman neither. Even though it's made upI feel comfortable in my shipping realm
Im afab and don't really understand my gender identity aside from 'im not a dude'. But at some point realized definitively saying 'I'm a woman' made me feel a little uncomfortable. And that when I read/write slash fics.. I often don't see a hot guy and think 'i want him'. I think 'I want to wear his skin'. Which... Is I guess a weird serial killer way to just say I sometimes just wish I *was* them. Anyway point is fanfic and fandom helped me realize that. And also that I'm aromantic.
It is actually because of fanfic that I realized I was aroace. I just had no idea it was a possibility to just not experience romantic/sexual attraction (I actually grew up with a more liberal view of sexuality that not only acknowledged homosexuality, but also bisexuality, but it seemed everyone fit in to one of those 3). It was by coming across a character who seemingly didn't get that spark that I knew was supposed to happen when two people who saw each other as attractive met, did I learn about demisexuality, which made me look into asexuality and realize that that fit my experience. This, thankfully, let me skip the common "am I broken" stage a lot of aro/ace people I know have gone through (I did not need to add to the "Things to Talk with a Therapist About" list). I also read a fic where a ship I really enjoyed was written as a QPP with both characters being some flavor of aroace, and it felt so validating and warm that the whole AU the fic spawned just fills me with so much joy to this day. As for the distinct lack of femslash: 1) there's so few female characters compared to males, even before you toss out the poorly written ones. The Smurfette Principal is a trope for a reason and has existed for millennia. 2) Men in fiction are allowed to have such interesting and engaging relationships (I myself enjoy a good enemies/rivals to lovers, even if it is toxic), where as women... aren't. If she's allowed to keep her personality after entering into a romantic relationship, she's only allowed a few types of relationships (supportive friend, parent/child, jealous yet shallow rivalry...), none of which get anywhere near as much depth as male relationships. Remember, Twilight was one of the first popular media franchises where the main female lead (who was the main lead period) wanted something for herself beyond a relationship. Twilight, which was written less than 20 years ago.
As a pansexual afab person who ships 2 slash couples and 1 straight couple, this lack of representation made me question for so long whether I'm actually not just straight and 'pretending'. It kinda sucked. Had to resort to shipping femme characters in fandoms I love that barely even ever talked to each other. Didn't quite work bcoz I later realized all the couples I shipped shared that weirdly irl toxic "I WILL DIE FOR U" thing Bucky/Steve had.
I've been doing my part in writing queer fanfiction for over a year now and I have no intention of stopping! I also have been on AO3 for over three years now. I never thought about my fanfics being a political statement or an important part of queer history before though. Amazing video that puts a lot of things in the fandom into a broader persepctive. Keep up the good work, Jessica!
Fan fiction helped me accept my gayness. It lead me to be able to read more stories about queerness when I was younger, during a time I was not able to access queer literature through libraries and such. I got to understand different characters through people writing character studies on some of my favourite characters. I got to read different ships that otherwise I wouldn’t have thought of. I got to feel a sense of closure in a way when I finished mass effect because I could go onto fanfic site and read amazing stories that continued through Shepard a story even though I now love the ending to mass effect. I ultimately found fandom, ides, theories and talking point about opinions that I had formed in my head/ was looking for validation through fan fiction/fandoms that helped me to be able to verbalized clearly that helped me talk about to other people.
Honestly this video made me cry. Fandom and fanfic made me realise I was queer more than 10 years ago... and it has meant so much to me. The second SwanQueen was mentioned I got so excited... Cause reading about those two was such a huge part of my teen years. And through that fandom I've made a friend. Over the years I've moved on to other fandoms... and funnily enough met my girlfriend (who lives on the other side of the world) on ao3 because I commented on her fanfic. But it was m/f fanfic lmao.
Ooh this might be one of my favorite videos you've ever done! I feel SO seen ❤. My wife and I met in tumblr and fangirled over our mutual obsession with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. She was born and raised in the US and I was born and raised in the Netherlands. She moved from the US to the Netherlands and now we're married and have a baby 🥹❤️ it does indeed happen, a lot 😅. I wrote my first fanfic when I was twelve though I didn't know that's what it was. It wasn't queer though (I wrote a Friends script centering Chandler/Monica 😅). When I seriously started reading fanfic it was very eye opening and taught me about demisexuality and mpreg and gender fluidity... and of course lots of sexual acts I'd never heard of before 😅. Some of those fics are more precious to me than actual published books. It's so sad that so many great shows with female queer characters are getting canceled so quickly 😢 we need fanfic more than ever! I miss A League of Their Own so much 😭. There was so much potential in that show. Thanks for this wonderful video!!! ❤️
regarding the queer people who meet online and fall in love, heres to hoping i'll be one of them! me and my partner are making plans for them to come live with me in brazil in a few years! fingers crossed
I'm as interested in the history and meta-narrative of transformative fan works as I am fascinated by the works themselves. My first fandom was original Star Trek, back in the day. The fen who welcomed me weren't as straight as is often written about, though quite feminine, in terms of how fandom was explored, maintained, transformed and shared. It felt very much like sitting in a circle with friends, sharing stuff. Different overlapping discussions and separate relationships that melded into each other. Very affirming and weird, in the best possible nerdy way. I don't think I met anyone like the stereotypical straight guy Trekkie until I was in uni. Star Trek's always been gay to me.
Fanfiction made me realize i was gay a decade ago. I still remember that summer - i was 17 and reading f/f by accident and this was the first time ive had intense feelings of attraction and just this feeling that “this is right”.
38:50 - 39:10 🤣😂 Jessica is so funny lmao Fanfic didn't make me gay but it did show me worlds with more possibilities than the reality I was living in. I loved every second of this video, particularly where you talked about the vast lack of femslash stories. Its a topic my friends and I talk about a lot because it is so apparent. WE NEED MORE FEMSLASH STORIES! I really hope someone hires you to write that Kim Possible/Shego spin off one day 🤞🏾
Fanfiction really is such a wonderful way for women and queer people to explore romance, sexuality and gender. A large part of society still likes to pretend that women aren't allowed to express desire, and said women then posting unhinged kinky smut about Batman and Superman fucking nasty seems like such a big middle finger to that rhetoric. Fandom isn't perfect but my god is it a nice reprieve from the 50000th "boy meets girl" story and society's anti-sex, anti-kink attitudes in general. P.s. I've actually written two femslash fics myself! I'm doing my part 😌
18:43 The best part of this quote is how "dramatic" it sounds, but it's SO true. Lexa did in fact have me as a queer teenager at my freaking breaking point 😂 I still remember the day that season got released like it just happened. I binged the entire thing, then proceeded to ambush my mom in the kitchen, and forcibly educated her about the entire plot of The 100 just so I could explain how dirty we were done with that episode 😭 Bless her heart, my mom stood there and nodded with a glazed expression on her face like, "This is my child. I need to show interest in what my child likes.... Omg it's been 30 minutes, when will this stop? All I wanted to do was make tacos tonight, wtf is going on???"
The times I've continued watching a problematic show because I could practically taste how good the fanfic would be... *stares in Merlin fandom* I fell into The Untamed fandom four years ago and haven't gotten tired of it yet. There are probably a thousand fanfics in that fandom which I have read more times than I've watched the show. And the number of words I've written...
I may be watching this for the learning... but I am also watching this because I am so heavily into fandom and I wanna see how many are mentioned that I know. We're off to a great start on Buffy so I know its gonna be good
For the longest time you were a TH-cam channel I occasionally checked out, but now I'm very much a subscriber and click on those new videos as fast as possible!
I met one of my best friends on the mainstream German fanfiction website. I read her M/M fanfiction which was written incredibly well and saw that she lived in the same city as me in her profile, so we chatted for some months before we met in a public place for the first time. We went to university together and are still really tight friends and well both of us are bixexual. Fanfiction truly brings queer folk together!
Jessica, I needed this - thank you your voice cheered me up. I have been sick for weeks after H1N1 on asthma lungs and now have pneumonia and I still don't have a voice to make videos and sing. Your voice is beautiful to me and honestly the first thing that made me really feel joyful today as I have been very depressed. Thank you for being a happy safe space for me my brain and this video is amazing ♡♡♡♡♡
I mist leave a second comment. Your FLAWLESS delivery of the terms with a straight face aspart of the narrative deserved a chef's kiss. That was awesome.
Oh fanfics. My friend tried to get me to read Roswell fsnfic in middle school, but I wasn't as big a fan of that show. So, I started reading Buffy fic. Where Buffy/Faith fic opened my eyes that I may not be completely straight 😂. Now, I love reading Destiel. It's a comfort at this point. Seeing Dean and Cas getting the happy ending they deserve (especially with a MUCH alive Charlie being in the picture- I am still salty how they killed her off on Supernatural). This is something I can talk about for hours 😂. Also, I love how the Supernatural fandom is quoted in legal documents about how Jensen was the first ever Omega, and Jared was the first ever Alpha in RPF. What a legacy.
I've spent so much time in the last year writing basically a post-book fanfic of Fingersmith; unedited thus far, it's nearly as long as the book itself. It's been kind of freeing, since the writer's block I usually face eases up a little, and I get to write romance in a way I don't generally write for my own characters: fluffy, not saddled by the plot, and purely focused on expanding upon a happy ending by showing how I interpret it to play out. I just love that book and those characters so much. I'm glad they also happen to be canon.
@@sarahr8311 Shyness will probably prevent me from ever posting it, honestly. Even my best friends can't convince me to share my stuff for this particular book since... I'm allergic to vulnerability, perhaps. No wonder I find Maud easier to write. Sorry! It's so incredibly kind of you to ask and I appreciate it! AO3 has several good fanfics, although it's mostly NSFW one-shots, as the fandom on there is small. I can't remember if there's anything for Fingersmith that's more than a couple chapters long.
@@sarahr8311 I always joke to them that the only person who I'll show it to will be a girl I'm dating... as a warning as to just how sappy and romantic I secretly am, behind all the jokes and deflection. I just hope I eventually will find my fellow history nerd obsessed with the Victorian era. That and my best friend read Fingersmith and hated it, which sort of broke my heart. Ah well. Maybe one day I'd post bits of it anonymously, but it's sooo far from done, besides a few scenes.
sometimes i forget that fanfic writers are adults. the other day my favorite fanfic writer apologized for updating a day late, she had gotten married on the usual update day. also theres a pretty popular drarry fanfic that was written before i was even born, which is insane to me.
The best part about the Catra/Adora cannon relationship is that it makes both of them LIVE!! I cry every time I watch the episode with their first kiss. It's such an excellent show.
I had a major fanfiction obsession throughout most of my teenage years (still do, to some extent), & honesty never thought about it like that before. I came out as Asexual in my late teens, & as trans in my early 20's, & never once thought the two were in anyway connected, BUT now that you've pointed it.... Yeah that actually tracks. I cant unsee it now. In hindsight, especially looking back at the type of genre's I read/wrote/sort out the most, & always felt I was really werid for doing so, suddenly makes ALOT of sense!!! 😹😹😹
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
Fanfiction made us gay but simultaneously we made fanfiction gay
It's much like the Chicken/Egg question of which came first.... gays making fanfic or fanfic making gays
A give and taking relationship of equal parts, we stan.
a constant givivng and taking, and... perhaps the gayness increases exponentially for near infinite gay.
@@silverschmid4591 sounds wonderful
I write gay fanfiction as an asexual non-binary person deliberately because I can’t see myself in it. I love romantic/sexual stories, but I don’t want those moments for myself. So I write characters as different from me as possible to distance myself and allow myself to enjoy the story
Similar for me, as an asexual, I prefer to learn what sex life is like for other people, but not for me.
Same here, almost word for word! I've always really enjoyed the types of stories you find in fanfiction, but very much as a witness and not a participant. I actually dabbled in reader-insert/"x reader" fanfic before, but not because I had any desire to imagine myself in those situations - it was just for a blank face I didn't need to develop in order to focus solely on the single character I wanted to write (looking back, the reader probably got very little action lol)
I'm aromantic pansexual. Irl I'm always looking at romantic couples like "why do you do this just for him? No!!! U don't have to give up ur career for a man!!! Whyyy." Things like that. But in fanfiction I only ship the couples that are all 'i will die for/with you' or 'i love you so I'll let u kill me rather than fight you'.
@@lynxlubbpeeps I am with you so much on this 😂
@@silversleeper1193 Oh and I absolutely agree about distancing myself from the character. Can't stand xreader bcoz of that. I don't want to be part of the story at all.
the short answer is yes, very
the long answer is: coming across my first sapphic ff at twelve made me realise that I am, indeed, hella gay
Oh how I so deeply relate
oh the feeling. I didn't think I've ever be more excited as when I saw Clexa kiss, until I saw Lumity getting together because Clexa was awesome but they were the first time I'd ever seen a canon lesbian relationship on screen that featured people who weren't adults.
I was writing little short stories about the people in my Oregon Trail (mid-90s version) wagon were falling in love and totally unaware of my bisexuality.
Fanfiction taught me that I COULD be queer without being tormented. Seeing the happy couples, living with joy.
fanfics are simply the superior form of entertainment to me. i can read whole novel-length stories about characters and worlds that i already know and love, for FREE. fanfic authors are doing the lords work, to be quite honest. ive loved them for so long, i think about 15 years now. ive read so many stories that made me excited or cry ((or horny)) or laugh, its really wonderful. and Ao3 is so good, that tagging system spoiled me for every library and bookstore 😭 how am i supposed to buy a book without knowing any tags?? no rating/archive warnings????? barbaric! also obviously its where you get the best queer stories. even, or especially, if you want to wacky, weird, kinky, problematic or out-of-the-box types of queer stories, not just heartstopper 😭
Loved your comments about tagging books! 😂😂
YES PREACH!
Ao3 tags are amazing! I wish books were tagged like that too and you could filter them. I have noticed that some published m/m books will list tags in their blurbs which makes me think the authors started off in fanfic!
I have been known to force myself to watch a television show (I'm much more into reading or TH-cam), just so I can partake in all the fanfiction!
Lol, I have a bit of a rule that if I'm going to buy a book , it has to be better than the free fanfic I can find
Fanfiction didn't make me gay, but it DID make me friends with a girl who I then fell in love with, giving me a nice bisexual crisis in my 30s. Yay. :P
Good luck!
In my mid 20s here, but I feel that 😅
Even the ‘straight’ fanfiction wasn’t really straight, when I used to read percabeth fanfiction in middle school, half of the time, Percy and Annabeth were bi or pan (which is so real)
I LOVE PERCABETH
And Nico/Will! Go Solangelo! 😍
My favorite head cannon is Demi-AroAce Percy and bi Annabeth
Your point about male characters having more depth was a massive lightbulb moment for me! I’ve never been able to understand why I read so much M/M when I… don’t really have much interest in men outside of fandoms, but this is exactly it!
I remember this discussion from way back when fanfic first got popular on livejournal, and it was a huge lightbulb moment for me, too.
I just realized I’ve been into fanfic for over two decades. I legitimately consume more fanfic than official media.
@@sunnijoMe too, started 20 years ago.
This is a huge point. Once I heard this, I realized that I discovered fanfiction when chicklit was starting to be popular in publishing. I felt more and more disconnected with what publishing kept saying I would like to read.
I second this. Now all the M/M fics I've read finally makes sense!
"In writing fanfiction, we don't just rewrite stories, we make those stories strong enough to handle people like us" omg that made me almost tear up in a good way ❤❤❤
The way I clicked on this video so fast
Hiiii 😍
I squeaked embarrassingly.
Sent to my bestie who has sooo many AO3 tabs open
(Edited for spelling ooops)
I came here after dying of pain after realizing SwanQueen will never be canon to OUAT. It made me feel better.
Same, fam, same!
Fanfiction made me gay & definitely saved my life!
Growing up in a fundamentalist cult, I didn't have access to media like the TV or the internet. When I was 17 I finally got a smartphone because I needed it for school. With the phone came the "illegal" music and with the music came the fanfics.
I read all the hetero romance stuff and one day, there was a gay couple in a story that had been tagged as hetero romance. I knew it was forbidden, but I HAD to know how the story ended! That's when I started devouring queer fanfictions. It was the only queer representation that I had and even though I thought it was a sin to reas this... -I couldn't stop. It felt so right and weirdly familiar.
In the darkest times of my identity and religious crisis I started to write the FLUFFIEST of stories. They helped me to escape from the reality of my hateful home, before I finally was able to move out and live free as the happy queer trans man that I am today.
Five years later... I haven't been able to write since, but I thank the gods and goddesses of wattpad & co who helped with my inner outing, gave me the strength to fight and saved my life!
I'm so happy for you ❤❤❤ your story made me wanna tear up. I'm really glad you got out and seem to be living ur best life now
The marauders call out at the beginning made me giggle
Really 😂 i had to replay it to make sure i heard right haha she just called us out like that
same😭
Same tho.
The way I went "HIIIIIIII!!!" back 😂
Literally sat up lol she called me out
Fun fact: I had to write fanfic for a job application.
Basically, I want to work in television writing and was applying for a fellowship. The fellowship requested that I submit a “spec” (speculative episode) from a list of shows they had to prove I can mimic the writing of a story that I did not originate. In TV writing, you might get hired when a show is in its later seasons, so this is an important skill.
So yes, it is a true statement that I wrote WWDITS fanfic for a job application.
Oh I would have failed that application TREMENDOUSLY. The only thing I didn't originate but I can mimick is voices, both talking and singing. I can't vary my writing style to save my life!
My wife and I met through a F/F fan fiction about a Spanish TV show (Los Hombres De Paco). We didn't understand 99% of what they were saying but fifteen years later, we are still together. She moved countries to be with me. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. Thank you for this video. It was like a trip down memory lane. Take care.
This is the wife! Without lesbian fanfiction I would not have met my wife from overseas. I thank my wife for writing and I thank the internet. She is the love of my life. Finding her and her fanfic was like finding a needle in a haystack. We didn't even understand the language the show was in😂
@@maicoaudiThat is so amazing and wholesome!
I love that sometimes the internet can still bring people together.
Much love and happiness to both of you!
@@maicoaudithis is so cute 😭😭🤍
@@maicoaudi I love the fact that two foreigners watched the same Spanish tv show without understanding a lick of it and then met through a fanfic of said tv show. Now I'm so curious what the fic was about xDDDD
Fanfiction was very important for me. I learned a lot about being queer and trans through it before I found other safe places.
(Edit now that I have time to write more:
I don't think I will ever be able to articulate it quite as well as others do, the feelings of otherness and of community that comes with being queer. Or how wonderful it was to have on space where it was just- normal. The majority of stories. Suddently, being queer wasn't a strange, rare thing. It was a thing thousands of stories explained and shared, something innumerable people were and wrote about. Having that space, where being like that wasn't so strange, was essential to me. I learned of respect better by reading from the perspective of those others judged than I ever did hearing a lecture from a teacher or parent. When I figured out I was queer, I panicked and tried to shove it away, only to once again find safety in fiction, in fanfiction. I read once again about queerness, about gender and the internalised prejudices I knew i also carried. It was so very important for me to have that. When I am confronted with homophobia, transphobia or even dysphoria, I come home to thousands of stories made or read by people like me. I know I am not alone. If I comment and say i, too, am queer, I know its unlikely i will be called a freak or aberration like I was in other places online. I know many like me will find me and say "me too".
Reading and finding so many stories about people like me, it made me feel like I really wasn't alone.
The fanfiction-verse is a safe space of mine too! ❤
@jessicaoutofthecloset Thank you for another wonderful video, Jessica!
@@OneOfThemSprinkles glad you were able to come back and add when you had more time, you summarized well,,, and it was needed!
@@Lazy_Fish_Keeper Thank you, both for reading and replying :)
Addendum to the definition for 'ships': ships are not necessarily rooted for to become canon! Sometimes a ship is taking two characters who would be horrendous to each other just because the dynamics are fun to explore and play with ^_^
Yes! This!
Amen tbh! God knows I have plenty that are better off not being canon lmfao.
make the title say "an investigaytion" pleeeease i am begging you jessica
you are amazing.
"I'm In This Photo and I Don't Like It" lol
It certainly did not make me pan, but it brought relationships, identities, and lifestyles to my attention that a rural teen in the early 2000s may not have come across otherwise.
It also continues to expose me to thoughts and ideas from folks who have different lived experiences to me.
Power doesn't corrupt, it reveals. Representation doesn't convert, it makes you go, "that's what it's called."
Absolutely, especially in older media (Star Trek, Starsky & Hutch, Sentinel etc) there were few if any fully fleshed out female characters. And to anyone complaining about "why can't you just let men be friends" - that's what the canon of those exact same shows is for. The fact that those men have deep bonds is what appealed to the slash writers...
Blair moves in with Jim for a week until he can find another place because his apartment blew up. Four years later, he's still there because ... reasons.
I never comment here, but I am coming to tell you that in the quasi-canonical tie in book series Anna & Elsa: Sisterhood Is The Strongest Magic, there is a book where Elsa goes off to what appears to be a desert country looking for a Princess she thinks has fire powers only no she's just from a desert kingdom. Her name is Marisol and Elsa meets her and immediately thinks of how beautiful her name is and how lovely she is and holds hands with her. THIS HAPPENS IN THE BOOK A WARM WELCOME. Alas Marisol has not been shown in any other Frozen media, but Elsa, someone who has touch issues immediately held hands with a Princess she thought was beautiful and has a lovely name.
The hair brush microphone is the perfect prop!
It honestly made my day. I don't understand all the TH-cam people who feel the need to have giant microphones right in front of their face.
@KrisRyanStallard The Click is the one exception to this. The googly eyes on his microphone make it so much better.
@@pyxilategoogly eyes make everything better!
even when the characters aren't on the ace spectrum, i've found the most relatably-acespec writers in fanfiction. i often comment on a fic saying how i was surprised with how resonant it was to me (esp. if it's a story that isn't about ace characters) and then the writer responds saying they were drawing on their acespec experience. too bad they haven't fallen in love with me yet though
Absolutely loved this video - bravo! As a gay man, fanfiction is usually the only place I can see myself authentically represented in the worlds that I already enjoy from popular media. I also find it rather therapeutic, not just validating.
One reason to read gay romance stories is that the dynamics are just So much more healthy and loving then most if not all alternatives.
That’s why I don’t like het romance. The dynamics are toxic and seem like male gazey and a power fantasy.!
Thanks for giving me a boost to finish my 'Good Omens' fanfic.
doooooo ittttttt. I was just explaining to someone the other day how the GO fandom has such truly fantastic fanfic ♥
We need your story!
You're doing god's work 🙌
"A beginner's guide to finding fanfic!"
I opened one of my thousands of subscription emails from AO3
The fanfics didn't make me queer but they helped me feel more comfortable in who I am and figure some stuff out.
I've started reading fanfics in my teens and now I'm in my early 30s and still consume fanfics just with slightly different themes. Ive also used all kinds of sites for it and even saw a few shut down.
I *adore* fanfiction. Yes, there's always weird stuff out there but everything has its pros and cons. I dedicate half of my weeks making time to read fanfics. But for the question of "is it gay?", it's important to note that fanfiction itself is wish fulfillment; non hetero or cis audiences being constantly disappointed of seeing characters with a lot of subtext either dying or end up being straight is what makes us pick up the pen.
Also, it's just plain fun and educational of learning how to hone the voice of a character and putting them in scenarios for your amusement. A great channel I always go to for anything fic/fandom related is ColeyDoesThings.
Correct on every point - and Coley is great!
COLEY LOVE IN THE WILD WAHOO
I’m fanfiction and I like gay
same
Yay! Me too!!
Mostly straight and fannish woman here!
It’s a pretty sad but straight forward reason for me.I hated seeing myself in fanfic, especially in sexual contexts.
The way women and female sexuality is portrayed is extremely…male. Desire is always spontaneous, orgasms are always fireworks. Women don’t need to waste time with pesky foreplay, they just jump right in and finish at the exact same time as men. It made me feel extremely anxious and like there was something broken about me for not being able to relate with that experience at all. MLM was a nice space for me to enjoy romance, project myself in those situations, without having to think about myself and my body and the way that as a woman, some men will always see me as a sexual object rather than a human being. This sort of representation actually made me think that I must be asexual for a while. It didn’t help that I had OCD too where I’d frequently get sexual intrusive thoughts. This made wanting to think about sex terrifying for me.
Then I read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski and my life kinda changed. The way women are shown in media and the way that the way we experience sex and attraction is completely different to reality. I learned about responsive desire, what orgasms actually are, arousal non-concordance. I realized I wasn’t broken or asexual (not that being ace is bad or that it makes you less of a person, just wasn’t me). I was completely average. It’s just that media made me feel that because I didn’t behave like a man, then there was something missing in my experience.
Earlyy!! As a person who reads TONS fanfiction ı would say fanfictions are one of the things that helped me realize if ı accepted myself there would be atleast one person who accepted me too and ı am so glad it helped me with that ı already came out to my friends and came out to some cousins whom were acceptive
The Buffy/Faith background media in all of this is such a freaking MOOD omfg
On a different note : reading fanfiction definitely helped me realize I was ace, because WHAT DO YOU /MEAN/ PEOPLE /ACTUALLY/ CARE ABOUT SEX ?????????????? ... Yeaaaaah, that was quite a discovery for me -- I was dead convinced that everyone was just doing a bang-up job of pretending, just like I was trying to :')))
It was the same with me with asexuality, and then finding asexual characters was beautiful
Saaaaaaame
*STANDING OVATION* This video needs to become part of any and all media/entertainment curriculums.
I got into a niche of the fan fiction community that honestly changed me in so many ways. When I was in my early teens, I found an online, text-based group role playing game (a MOO, which is a subgroup of MUDs) where we were all playing our own characters in the setting of the Dragonriders of Pern books by Anne McCaffrey, a few hundred years after the canon events (mostly for copyright reasons). That’s where I perfected my touch typing, learned so much about boundaries and autonomy and psychosocial concepts (you can’t say what other people do, only what you do. Other people can’t read your character’s mind, so while you can put your character’s thoughts, other people can only react to your words and actions, and so many more). As an autistic person, it gave me so much insight into social interactions and helped me build a framework for respectful and realistic communication.
I didn’t get to participate in any of the less-PG activities, as my mother took it upon herself to be in that space as well to protect me (which I am ambivalent about now as a parent, half understanding the need to protect children on the internet, half still frustrated that there was absolutely nowhere where I got to explore the world by myself until I got into college, being homeschooled from kindergarten to high school graduation). I didn’t get to do much exploration of my sexuality or my gender, but there were most certainly hints laid down. Perhaps one of the first was my character Phoenix (female) Impressing a blue (male) dragon, which surprised me deeply but also gave me food for thought. Years later, after finally figuring out that I’m nonbinary, it makes so much sense, and honestly I probably would retcon that character to be nonbinary as well.
This is also where my mild fascination with the field of medicine and the topic of disability really flowered into a special interest/hyperfixation. Phoenix had albinism and a birth difference (six fingers). My character Lhisiya was a member of the Healer Hall, and due to there only being two or three native herbal remedies, I got to research all about the herbs that the colonists might have taken with them, all the different conditions that people could get, and the way one might deal with them in a mostly medieval technology level.
I lived in that co-created world for years. I composed real songs and programmed them into my songbook as a Harper, I explored an uncomfortable power dynamic cishet relationship between my Master Herder and her Apprentice love interest, defended my IRL friend’s dropped activity level and lobbied for her to still be Searched while she was having surgery for her scoliosis. It meant so much to me to be able to be treated as an adult, and to be approached, appreciated, and accepted as whoever I wanted to be. Instead of being my mother’s half-silent shadow, I could be known as myself, and instead of people writing me off as an overweight, shy, weird teenage “girl”, I got to be respected and treated as a valuable asset for my skill with words and descriptions. It was magical. I made friends through it that I later met in real life, friends of all different ages, genders, sexualities, and backgrounds. Thanks to being in it with my mother, who it also became very important to, I got to go to my first convention, and met the son of the author, who encouraged me in my writing and gave me absolutely invaluable advice and encouragement.
It also prepared me for the disappointment and betrayal of having the author of media you adore show herself to be a truly terrible person. Anne McCaffrey hated fanfic and had our game shut down three separate times for “copyright violation”. It was baffling and hurtful that she’d spend money on lawyers to close down a little corner of the internet full of her most fervent fans, fans who loved her world so much that we wanted to live in it. Who were the people buying “The People of Pern” and “The Atlas of Pern” and a copy of every book so we could have every detail possible to make our world as real as possible? It was us! It was free advertising, and it kept her books firmly in the forefront of our minds. But apparently she couldn’t stand it. (She also was cold and rude in person, and almost ran over my mother’s toes with her mobility scooter on her way past her in the hall). It was good preparation for the betrayal of JK Rowling later, and losing love for the story because it became inextricably linked to the feelings of resentment, hurt, and frustration. It helps me even now when dealing with the people in my life who are still Harry Potter fans.
Hopefully that wasn’t too off topic! I know it isn’t necessarily the first thing people think of when they think of fanfic, but it’s been just as influential for me. 😊
Thank you for Sharing your story!
❤
One thing fanfiction made me realize is how i am just no interested in having a relationship and couldn't relate to any experience, straight or gay. So in a way fanfiction made me realize i am asexual and aromantic.
Same, here. I always just thought, meh I'm not that interested in sex or I haven't found the right person. Fanfiction gave me a hook I could hang my complete and utter disinterest in sex on. It didn't change my life much but now I could just tell people "no thanks, I'm asexual" instead of constantly trying to avoid matchmaking attempts. Sometimes labels can be helpful.
Joining fandoms made me aware of so many things, especially that being ace can be a thing and does not not mean "being broken" (as an ex of me repeatedly stated). It made me learn about labels and that I like them, and it gave me so much writing practice! And also hours upon hours of content FOR FREE, with all the stories one would never find in a small town library in a Germany.
This video was just lovely, thank you very much!
I love this video. I have been reading fanfiction since I was a teenager and still do in my 30s. I have AO3 tabs permanently open in my phone.
Me too.
I sometimes clean up. But at any time I have about 10 to 20 tabs open.
Also in my 30s been reading since 2007.
Same, Ao3 is always open. I'm in my early 40s now and I've been reading fanfic since about 2001.
Also same. I’m nearly 40 and I remember reading fanfic on dial-up internet (10 mins to load a page of text 😅) and printing off pages of fic to read later from all the Angelfire fansites etc!I I’m also old enough to remember when fanfiction . Net first started and its first (far superior) logo. It really pioneered the first general fic rating system (NC-17 etc). Now AO3 has taken over and I love my inbox filling with notifications ❤.
Yup. I'm 33 and started reading fanfic in 2001 on a small Finnish Harry Potter forum :D At first I was like "why is this all gay??", then shrugged and just decided to roll with it xDD At 11yo lol. I have AO3 tabs permanently open on my browser still.
@@Ancientgalaxy oh god I remember reading really explicit fanfics at school computers not realizing they could track that. Then those sites got locked and I was mortified
I like fanfic more than normal books😭
I laughed way too hard when you asked if there was straight SPN fanfic.
I believe that one reason for the popularity of M/M fanfic is that it takes the attention away from us women. For once we are not the object of the male gaze. Also Buffy
The “hello Marauders fans” really went for my throat 😅😂 too real
"Before they kill your gays" I'M CRYING ITS SO TRUE AND IT HURTS 😭😭😭
Fanfiction made me feel safe and accepted during a time when i wasn't. I've met people now who make me feel safe and accepted, but at this point, fanfiction holds such a special place in my heart that i can't stop reading it, lol 😅
FanFiction is a great tool for representation for any number of niche groups, not merely sexuality. I've read fanfics about characters who have had various disabilities I had previously not known much about, or fanfics set in cultures or lifestyles I hadn't seen represented a lot (like Amish AUs or that one Harry Potter story going into great detail about naturism).
Most of the original spirk writers were straight women who saw that Spock and Kirk loved each other deeply 😸
Plus, they were the main characters with the most detailed backgrounds and personalities. The women on the show were far less prominent.
Straight Supernatural fanfic? Never heard of such tosh! 😊
when you mentioned faith i said "YES" so loud my sibling heard me upstairs and asked if i was okay
YESSS!!! The video I was waiting for. Honestly, fanfic awakened shit in me and I'm so happy I'm in this community
Edit: No way, Surfshark!! The Jessica and Tomska connection is REAL
The fanfiction I get into and write consists of lesbian characters having an enemies to lovers plot line
In writing a book that is purely OUAT fanfiction and an excuse for me to make SwanQueen canon, I praise this video. (It’s called Never Ever After and I’ve written three words because I procrastinate)
I've been waiting for this this video since the day I clicked subscribe years ago. Jessica has always referenced her fanfic reading and writing days so even just seeing the length of this video has me so excited that I can't keep writing this comment I just need to watch now!!!
as a younger gay (born in the early 2000s) Buffy and Faith very VERY MUCH flirting thank you very much....
Buffy/Faith and Willow/Tara forever!
Gay Sunnydale is Best Sunnydale.
At the beginning of this video, I wondered if you’d mention Melissa Good. I was not disappointed! She was my favorite Xena episode’s writer. She’s the only writer (of any media) I’ve ever emailed to tell her how much I enjoyed her work! I didn’t know her from Fanfic, just read about her in the Xena magazine around the time her episodes aired. ❤
1:28 thank you for the call-out
I'm still not over the death of Lexa 😢. The chemistry between her and Clarke was soooo amazing, and it's because (in part) of their relationship that I realized my bisexuality.
I heard of Clexa and wanted to watch it. Then I found out Lexa died and aborted 😢
I belong to a fandom that is big enough to have conventions. I have found that in real life my fandom is really inclusive and a safe space. It's also very LGBT+ I have met more LGBT+, people with various chronic illnesses, neuro divergent people, mobility affected people. A really diverse group. Much more so than I meet in my everyday life.
It might be an interesting topic for you to explore. Whether fandom is more inclusive.
Hazbin Hotel. Best representation I've seen. But like... it's just me. Also, Rick Riordan writes really good queer books. Which are also interesting. It's just good
I am a simple person. I see cas and dean in the thumbnail, I click.
Lol, same!
May they live happily married in our minds and the depths of the internet.
Fanfiction didn't make me _gay_ but it gave me more questions aboout my gender than I care to count (thanks, AdmiralPegasus!)
the fanfiction that's ingrained in my head is the toh fanfic where amity sings mr loverman with her band
JaidenAnimation’s video made me gay and then I got into fanfiction and it was all downhill from there
@@greenland_shark_2009 all hail the owl house (syntax of your smile my beloved)
@@Geitungur thAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED?
@@greenland_shark_2009 No, sorry, that's just another TOH fanfic I like
The day has finally come where Jessica has done a fanfic deep dive vid, and a wonderfully comprehensive one too! 💕 Reading and writing fanfic helped me to accept my queerness, and I received more acceptance for it in fandom than I ever have irl. Fanfic saves lives.
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Great timing, the most big fanfiction site in Russia got blocked by the government a couple of days ago because of gay content
Currently it's available again, but you can't find any queer story
❤😢
That is tragic
@@charleston1789 more tragic things are happening right now with people here
Idk when the Marauders fandom decided Regulus Black was trans (I took a few years away and came back to a whole new world) but I have come across SO many trans Regulus stories. When I was growing up, I NEVER came across trans fanon like that, so while it’s not always GOOD representation, I’ve really just enjoyed that trans characters are becoming more common in the fanfiction I’ve read (not just him, obviously, he’s just the one I see the most in the HP fandom lately, especially since I’ve gotten away from reading about Harry and his generation altogether pretty much).
I've been a fan of your channel for a while so it was a lovely surprise to see my stats work featured in this video! I'm glad you found the stats interesting, and I too have a lot of questions and theories about the relative lack of F/F fics.
👏👏👏
Thank you so much for your amazing stats!
For me it was D.E.B.S. that made me realise, fanfic came later. But I am autistic and have alexitymia (and dyslexia I’m pretty sure I misspelled that) fanfic taught me how to tell what I’m feeling and what emotions are like and helped me understand and process my feelings more.
Another thing to note about The 100, is that the showrunner did the same thing to the next relationship that fans rooted for, Clarke and Bellamy. He was so angry that his show was on The CW and marketed to teenagers that he did revenge plots on the fans. He's an actual infant.
Isn't the show literally about teenagers? How tf can he be upset that they're targeted towards.... Teenagers????
Also, there was foreshadowing for Lexa's death like 4 episodes in to her run (if not before that) which means they wrote that character with the inevitable conclusion being her death. They mishandled her character literally every step of the way.
I've never really been into fanfiction BUT fanfiction have siblings. One is rpg. The one we used to play on forums and now play on discord (and it's been done on Facebook, Tumblr, MSN...). RPG is definitely my thing and I can say it follows exactly the same logic as fanfiction. Most of the time it's kind of a fanfiction written by multiple hands. For a long time I thought I liked it because it allows me to escape reality. But it's only partly true. I realised it has been, and is still, a strong tool to question my gender identity, my sexuality but also to explore my trauma without not feeling exposed or to deal with an important issue in my life. Most of the time, I don't understand right away why I create one specific character. It's only restrospectively that it clicks. All this to say that fanfiction, rpg and surely other similar things are such a wonderful way to create whag we need to explore who we are without feeling in danger. I wish it was seen less like something a little bit childish and more like the wonderful land of freedom and discovery it actually is.
Faith and Buffy were clearly girlfriends I will DIE on that hill.
My head canon includes Bi-Buffy, 100%.
Being part of so many fandoms definitely allowed me to explore my queerness. Reading about aro, ace and genderqueer characters opened up a whole world for me
"Oh. OH HOLD ON. That's how I feel!"
And yes I do write fanfiction :]
I truly don’t know if I would have ever realized my own asexuality if it wasn’t for fic. I’m thankful for the authors who poured their efforts into writing stories that helped me to see myself and imagine myself more happy and free.
I've been active in fandom since I was barely in the double digits and yet having fandom 'explained' to me, lacking any judgement or ill-informed criticism and instead filled with love and kindness from a fellow fan, is something I didn't know I somehow needed until now. Fandom has been a primary coping mechanism for me for _many_ things throughout my whole life, and I only realised that just recently because it's just... always been there. Beautifully queer, wonderful escapism when I desperately needed to not exist for a moment. It's also what got me into writing, both fanfic and my own stuff down the line. Even over two decades later I'm so grateful for fandom.
And man, thanks for reminding me of my huge crush on Eliza Dushku. Faith was possibly my first female character crush? Not counting Disney characters at least, otherwise it would probably be Esmeralda.
Yes! Yes! Here is an enby person! Usually I really have problems to find a ship for me. Sometimes I like gay ships, sometimes I like straight ships. I like everything as long as I'm interested in it. Since the Pokémon S/V DLC came out I started to hyperfixate on a character. I ship him with another boy and finally I was confident enough to tell myself: "Hey, you weren't wrong about that you're genderfluid." I just step into the shoes of him and I really enjoy the gay romance because... Yes I wish I could be a man sometimes. But I can't abandon my woman neither. Even though it's made upI feel comfortable in my shipping realm
Im afab and don't really understand my gender identity aside from 'im not a dude'. But at some point realized definitively saying 'I'm a woman' made me feel a little uncomfortable. And that when I read/write slash fics.. I often don't see a hot guy and think 'i want him'. I think 'I want to wear his skin'. Which... Is I guess a weird serial killer way to just say I sometimes just wish I *was* them.
Anyway point is fanfic and fandom helped me realize that. And also that I'm aromantic.
It is actually because of fanfic that I realized I was aroace. I just had no idea it was a possibility to just not experience romantic/sexual attraction (I actually grew up with a more liberal view of sexuality that not only acknowledged homosexuality, but also bisexuality, but it seemed everyone fit in to one of those 3). It was by coming across a character who seemingly didn't get that spark that I knew was supposed to happen when two people who saw each other as attractive met, did I learn about demisexuality, which made me look into asexuality and realize that that fit my experience. This, thankfully, let me skip the common "am I broken" stage a lot of aro/ace people I know have gone through (I did not need to add to the "Things to Talk with a Therapist About" list). I also read a fic where a ship I really enjoyed was written as a QPP with both characters being some flavor of aroace, and it felt so validating and warm that the whole AU the fic spawned just fills me with so much joy to this day.
As for the distinct lack of femslash: 1) there's so few female characters compared to males, even before you toss out the poorly written ones. The Smurfette Principal is a trope for a reason and has existed for millennia. 2) Men in fiction are allowed to have such interesting and engaging relationships (I myself enjoy a good enemies/rivals to lovers, even if it is toxic), where as women... aren't. If she's allowed to keep her personality after entering into a romantic relationship, she's only allowed a few types of relationships (supportive friend, parent/child, jealous yet shallow rivalry...), none of which get anywhere near as much depth as male relationships.
Remember, Twilight was one of the first popular media franchises where the main female lead (who was the main lead period) wanted something for herself beyond a relationship. Twilight, which was written less than 20 years ago.
As a pansexual afab person who ships 2 slash couples and 1 straight couple, this lack of representation made me question for so long whether I'm actually not just straight and 'pretending'. It kinda sucked. Had to resort to shipping femme characters in fandoms I love that barely even ever talked to each other. Didn't quite work bcoz I later realized all the couples I shipped shared that weirdly irl toxic "I WILL DIE FOR U" thing Bucky/Steve had.
I've been doing my part in writing queer fanfiction for over a year now and I have no intention of stopping! I also have been on AO3 for over three years now.
I never thought about my fanfics being a political statement or an important part of queer history before though.
Amazing video that puts a lot of things in the fandom into a broader persepctive.
Keep up the good work, Jessica!
I was absolutely thinking about Steve and Bucky, well played
The Marauders call out, I literally said "hello" back
Fan fiction helped me accept my gayness. It lead me to be able to read more stories about queerness when I was younger, during a time I was not able to access queer literature through libraries and such. I got to understand different characters through people writing character studies on some of my favourite characters. I got to read different ships that otherwise I wouldn’t have thought of.
I got to feel a sense of closure in a way when I finished mass effect because I could go onto fanfic site and read amazing stories that continued through Shepard a story even though I now love the ending to mass effect.
I ultimately found fandom, ides, theories and talking point about opinions that I had formed in my head/ was looking for validation through fan fiction/fandoms that helped me to be able to verbalized clearly that helped me talk about to other people.
Honestly this video made me cry.
Fandom and fanfic made me realise I was queer more than 10 years ago... and it has meant so much to me. The second SwanQueen was mentioned I got so excited... Cause reading about those two was such a huge part of my teen years. And through that fandom I've made a friend.
Over the years I've moved on to other fandoms... and funnily enough met my girlfriend (who lives on the other side of the world) on ao3 because I commented on her fanfic. But it was m/f fanfic lmao.
My favorite is when actors get excited about fanfiction of their own characters. Also I love what Our Flag Means Death did to validate so many fans!
Ooh this might be one of my favorite videos you've ever done! I feel SO seen ❤. My wife and I met in tumblr and fangirled over our mutual obsession with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. She was born and raised in the US and I was born and raised in the Netherlands. She moved from the US to the Netherlands and now we're married and have a baby 🥹❤️ it does indeed happen, a lot 😅. I wrote my first fanfic when I was twelve though I didn't know that's what it was. It wasn't queer though (I wrote a Friends script centering Chandler/Monica 😅). When I seriously started reading fanfic it was very eye opening and taught me about demisexuality and mpreg and gender fluidity... and of course lots of sexual acts I'd never heard of before 😅. Some of those fics are more precious to me than actual published books. It's so sad that so many great shows with female queer characters are getting canceled so quickly 😢 we need fanfic more than ever! I miss A League of Their Own so much 😭. There was so much potential in that show. Thanks for this wonderful video!!! ❤️
regarding the queer people who meet online and fall in love, heres to hoping i'll be one of them! me and my partner are making plans for them to come live with me in brazil in a few years! fingers crossed
I'm as interested in the history and meta-narrative of transformative fan works as I am fascinated by the works themselves. My first fandom was original Star Trek, back in the day. The fen who welcomed me weren't as straight as is often written about, though quite feminine, in terms of how fandom was explored, maintained, transformed and shared. It felt very much like sitting in a circle with friends, sharing stuff. Different overlapping discussions and separate relationships that melded into each other.
Very affirming and weird, in the best possible nerdy way. I don't think I met anyone like the stereotypical straight guy Trekkie until I was in uni. Star Trek's always been gay to me.
You really just went and did that Jessica. You have my deepest respect and appreciation ❤
Fanfiction is where i found the term 'ace/asexual' and went '.....oh' and thus began my journey to #aroace
Fanfiction made me realize i was gay a decade ago. I still remember that summer - i was 17 and reading f/f by accident and this was the first time ive had intense feelings of attraction and just this feeling that “this is right”.
38:50 - 39:10 🤣😂 Jessica is so funny lmao
Fanfic didn't make me gay but it did show me worlds with more possibilities than the reality I was living in.
I loved every second of this video, particularly where you talked about the vast lack of femslash stories. Its a topic my friends and I talk about a lot because it is so apparent. WE NEED MORE FEMSLASH STORIES! I really hope someone hires you to write that Kim Possible/Shego spin off one day 🤞🏾
Fanfiction really is such a wonderful way for women and queer people to explore romance, sexuality and gender. A large part of society still likes to pretend that women aren't allowed to express desire, and said women then posting unhinged kinky smut about Batman and Superman fucking nasty seems like such a big middle finger to that rhetoric.
Fandom isn't perfect but my god is it a nice reprieve from the 50000th "boy meets girl" story and society's anti-sex, anti-kink attitudes in general.
P.s. I've actually written two femslash fics myself! I'm doing my part 😌
Thank you for your service xD
18:43 The best part of this quote is how "dramatic" it sounds, but it's SO true. Lexa did in fact have me as a queer teenager at my freaking breaking point 😂
I still remember the day that season got released like it just happened. I binged the entire thing, then proceeded to ambush my mom in the kitchen, and forcibly educated her about the entire plot of The 100 just so I could explain how dirty we were done with that episode 😭
Bless her heart, my mom stood there and nodded with a glazed expression on her face like, "This is my child. I need to show interest in what my child likes.... Omg it's been 30 minutes, when will this stop? All I wanted to do was make tacos tonight, wtf is going on???"
The times I've continued watching a problematic show because I could practically taste how good the fanfic would be... *stares in Merlin fandom*
I fell into The Untamed fandom four years ago and haven't gotten tired of it yet. There are probably a thousand fanfics in that fandom which I have read more times than I've watched the show. And the number of words I've written...
Also the m/m fandom I'm in tends to compensate by genderflipping both the mains by whatever means. Also an abundance of lesbian side ships.
I may be watching this for the learning... but I am also watching this because I am so heavily into fandom and I wanna see how many are mentioned that I know. We're off to a great start on Buffy so I know its gonna be good
For the longest time you were a TH-cam channel I occasionally checked out, but now I'm very much a subscriber and click on those new videos as fast as possible!
I met one of my best friends on the mainstream German fanfiction website. I read her M/M fanfiction which was written incredibly well and saw that she lived in the same city as me in her profile, so we chatted for some months before we met in a public place for the first time. We went to university together and are still really tight friends and well both of us are bixexual. Fanfiction truly brings queer folk together!
Jessica, I needed this - thank you your voice cheered me up. I have been sick for weeks after H1N1 on asthma lungs and now have pneumonia and I still don't have a voice to make videos and sing. Your voice is beautiful to me and honestly the first thing that made me really feel joyful today as I have been very depressed. Thank you for being a happy safe space for me my brain and this video is amazing ♡♡♡♡♡
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Oh god, you've just made me realize that I've been reading fanfic for probably over a decade now 😅. I feel old lol
I mist leave a second comment. Your FLAWLESS delivery of the terms with a straight face aspart of the narrative deserved a chef's kiss. That was awesome.
Oh fanfics. My friend tried to get me to read Roswell fsnfic in middle school, but I wasn't as big a fan of that show. So, I started reading Buffy fic. Where Buffy/Faith fic opened my eyes that I may not be completely straight 😂. Now, I love reading Destiel. It's a comfort at this point. Seeing Dean and Cas getting the happy ending they deserve (especially with a MUCH alive Charlie being in the picture- I am still salty how they killed her off on Supernatural). This is something I can talk about for hours 😂. Also, I love how the Supernatural fandom is quoted in legal documents about how Jensen was the first ever Omega, and Jared was the first ever Alpha in RPF. What a legacy.
I've spent so much time in the last year writing basically a post-book fanfic of Fingersmith; unedited thus far, it's nearly as long as the book itself. It's been kind of freeing, since the writer's block I usually face eases up a little, and I get to write romance in a way I don't generally write for my own characters: fluffy, not saddled by the plot, and purely focused on expanding upon a happy ending by showing how I interpret it to play out. I just love that book and those characters so much. I'm glad they also happen to be canon.
I liked that book! It's there anywhere I could read your fanfic?
@@sarahr8311 Shyness will probably prevent me from ever posting it, honestly. Even my best friends can't convince me to share my stuff for this particular book since... I'm allergic to vulnerability, perhaps. No wonder I find Maud easier to write. Sorry! It's so incredibly kind of you to ask and I appreciate it!
AO3 has several good fanfics, although it's mostly NSFW one-shots, as the fandom on there is small. I can't remember if there's anything for Fingersmith that's more than a couple chapters long.
@@infpdreams awww, well I do understand the aversion to vulnerability. I post stuff online rather than showing it to friends for just that reason.
@@sarahr8311 I always joke to them that the only person who I'll show it to will be a girl I'm dating... as a warning as to just how sappy and romantic I secretly am, behind all the jokes and deflection. I just hope I eventually will find my fellow history nerd obsessed with the Victorian era. That and my best friend read Fingersmith and hated it, which sort of broke my heart. Ah well. Maybe one day I'd post bits of it anonymously, but it's sooo far from done, besides a few scenes.
sometimes i forget that fanfic writers are adults. the other day my favorite fanfic writer apologized for updating a day late, she had gotten married on the usual update day. also theres a pretty popular drarry fanfic that was written before i was even born, which is insane to me.
Wattpad & AO3 are the only reasons 12 year old me knew queer people existed
The best part about the Catra/Adora cannon relationship is that it makes both of them LIVE!! I cry every time I watch the episode with their first kiss. It's such an excellent show.
I had a major fanfiction obsession throughout most of my teenage years (still do, to some extent), & honesty never thought about it like that before. I came out as Asexual in my late teens, & as trans in my early 20's, & never once thought the two were in anyway connected, BUT now that you've pointed it.... Yeah that actually tracks. I cant unsee it now. In hindsight, especially looking back at the type of genre's I read/wrote/sort out the most, & always felt I was really werid for doing so, suddenly makes ALOT of sense!!! 😹😹😹