Dan Savage On Straight Men
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ม.ค. 2012
- Dan Savage touches on a few of the reasons it sucks to be a straight guy. I did not film this, I reuploaded it because this particular lecture is no longer on TH-cam. Savage talks more about it in these interviews: fray.com/issue3/sucks-to-be-a-..., and kinseyconfidential.org/dan-sav...
So much truth in this video. Gender-normativism and homophobic bigotry are ruining heterosexuality.
Weird thing is, it's heterosexual, gender-normative people who label alternative gender identity or sexual orientations as "weird/wrong/whatever." They're really ruining it for themselves.
This should have at least a million views. Dan is sooo right. The boundaries of male heterosexuality are so strict it must be nerve wracking to be a straight guy with proclivities.
Straight guy here. Never encountered this. Live in the Southern US and never had any of these problems. Girls willing to peg don't question. Never have any guilt or shame over fooling around with one guy every 5 years.
Marcus Kent this is progress, then.
Begs the question. What kind of social circle are you running in?
@@carlospazdespierta Nature is healing
I'm a straight man and I found a lot of truth in this and things that I agreed with. There are some things that I like that I would never tell another straight man that I like, because I know that I would be judged by a lot of them if they knew it. That is Sad but true. It's the world we live in that some things just can't be shared openly without being judged, insulted, ect. for it. Thanks for the upload.
I don't know...straight white men like myself still have to put up with less shit than anyone else on the planet, overall. But the norms of what is acceptable behaviour for straight men can be kind of confining sometimes, depending on how sensitive you are. Less so all the time, though. The 'bro culture' is still way more of a problem.
The sad thing is it's predominantly self-imposed.
Astute comment.
I think that was kind of what his point was; bro culture. That if there is one thing to feel sorry for men over it's that it's that theres this man code. this way you have to be to be a straight dude. All this toughen up act like a man bullshit that feeds into and molds those douchebags bro's that suck so much. That being said, I would choose to be a dude any day of the week if I had a choice. Bigger paychecks, no periods, less of a target, easier orgasms...you fuckers have it made😂😂
the thing is, our dads' generation was SOOOOO stereotypically masculine in their interests, it's as if they genuinely loved being unassailably macho from and to their core. it's so hard to ignore growing up, it's like are we different species?
This guy has it right (Straight guy high five)
***** I haven't researched him, but he seemed to say something important, that straight guys get fucked hard by social ideals.
MrJustonemorevoice Don't listen to that ass. Dan Savage is awesome... do read more of him, you'll probably love his advice.
I've learned a ton about sexuality from his podcast. He has a lot of common sense, that's why straight people love to listen to him.
+MrJustonemorevoice "Straight" guy created these ideals that they have trapped themselves in. One way they have opened the cage is to rationalize sucking another guy's dick and taking it up the butt isn't gay, it's bros being bros helping each other out? Can't find a girl to "help them out?" They have a wife/girlfriend, right?
Bryce Thompson What the hell are you talking about?
+MrJustonemorevoice "Straight" males set-up and perpetuate these "social ideals." Either you agree or not. Not complicated!
Great comments. Thank goodness for Dan Savage. I've learned more about straight men from him in a few minutes that in my lifetime.
Str8 men are so trapped. Their glass will only ever be half full.
I really liked your take on this. I think that some (many?) straight men do feel that they will be accused of being gay if they do certain things. Woman play that card WAY too much. I have heard them talking to straight men saying that they were worried that they were gay because they wore bright colors, or dressed too nicely, etc. I could tell these women just wanted use this for attention or to get a date or whatever, and it was more successful than I would have thought.
Yes, it's a typical "woman thing." Stay away.
The man seems hyper intelligent. He speaks so well....is funny....and is sharing some truth. Impressive. Most impressive
I like how Dan, subtly and more in a whimsical way brings up the most under discussed topic, Misandry .
It's not just misandry, it's internalized misandry in straight men.
@@theshion005well said
This is freaking hilarious!
Dan is my HERO. Young enough to be my son and I would be so proud. You young LGBTs (and fellow elders), open minded straights, LOVE!
Dan Savage would make a great standup comedian.
why do we need labels at all? just do whatever you enjoy!
Because it helps to know who and what youre getz into? 😏
How do you figure that?
The female giggle when he makes a good point is killing me. That giggle means "BLAH BLAH BLAH IM NOT LISTENING. "
Theodicist Eddie Yeah, I noticed that too
so funny and VERY true
i always thought dan was the best at advocating or the queer community. he did it with a lot of comedy, heart, and truth. not everyone liked him, but he’s done more for this community than most
thanks!
Its ironic how sometimes we can be more comfortable in our sexuality than them.
Very funny and true
Try it. You'll like it. Guaranteed.
that's so true...!
Story of my life. I wish more people would wake up to the idiotic and repressive standards around male heterosexuality. Every day I face this crap, and put up with a lot of damaging verbal abuse, because I don't dutifully tow the straight guy line like I'm supposed to, and small minded bigots AS WELL ASS self proclaimed "open minded" "Progressive" people thoughtlessly say things that hurt and anger me in ways they can't imagine. More people need to read Dan's column.
Hope it's a bit better for you today.
Mind blown.
I'm sure Dan has been on straight men on more than one occasion. 😳😱
The audience laughs because they know he's right
Is the whole thing a story because I can't see anyone asking him for advice on how to tie your shoes.
this is true
sexuality and real sex education (sexual acts,safety etc) should be taught in schools somewhere this is ridiculous......
Dan has a general point, but sort of tends to forget that bisexuals exist.
If the Chip and Dales dancer is exclusively interested in women sexually, then yes, he's straight. And Dan wasn't saying the girl was or wasn't straight; he was saying her boyfriend now isn't sitting around being fearful that she's "actually" a lesbian because of those past experiences -- the way that society often considers of men who have had even one homosexual experience as gay, even if every other partner, and every one since, has been a woman.
He’s so right. I’m glad I’m not a straight male.
A straight friend of mine won't comment on color choices or, for that matter, anything involving an aesthetic opinion. I'm told to ask his wife.
This is true for gay men in the closet too.
Straight guy: dan savage is great on sexuality... hes too centrist, politically, but yea.
There are several million videos on TH-cam, and nobody has to watch any of them.
Every one is bisexual- Sigmund Freud
everyone wants to fuck their own mother, even if they think they don't want to
What is he talking about... That "straight" problems for me are nonexistent...
2:21 3:25 4:01
Some homophobes are really pissed off at gay men, sick! Let it bother you, let it bother the hell out of you! Lol.
I don't like the audience.
"straight guy"
hey i resemble that remark!
...
oh who am i kidding, he's right i'm sexually miserable...
Dude or dudette as the case may be, it's a fucking Dan Savage video. Unless you're completely out of touch, you probably know who he is. It's like going to a Catholic church and saying "but what about people who don't like hearing about the Virgin Mary?"
Don't tell me you haven't ever had a Crush on a Straight Guy Dan.Dont Act all Straightphobic.its not all Sad being a Straight Guy when Chicks and Guys Like you.
yes, you can be straight and work for chippendales. You can be gay and work for chippendales. It's not a gay or straight thing. its called stripping for entertainment. On your second problem, it's called experimenting. I made out with lots of straight men because they're drunk and they're not gay at all. why should we have this double standard.
why would any straight man go to him for advice who says it's alright to cheat on your spouse "only a few times" over the course of a long marriage and then say you've been faithful?
silly.
@lolololololol1234561-OK what is up with you for real. You clearly have some personal issue driving you to try to discredit what Dan said in response to a legitimate question which your also trying to disregard and you've done it twice now on the same vid. Whats the problem? Maybe we can help.
Being gay is awesome, I tried the straight thing for a few years, what a waste of fucking time.
sick
We don't like misogyny here, think about that.
I think, as a white straight men, that the sexualization of women is being taken much too far. Women are naturally more affectionate than men(based on the mood swings, periods etc..). I also hate that there's this all straight guys are secretly bisexual and I never been sexually attracted to another man and I've met plenty. I am comfortable with my sex life and women can be difficult but I'm in love with one so it's worth it. I like you as a person. (I watch your talks with my wife, huge fan) but I think there's this tearing of heterosexuality that it isn't real when all my emotions to my wife are natural. Stop downgrading us. Because we're traditional doesn't mean there's pity.
Did you just imply that women are more affectionate than men because they have a period? LOL You don't know ANYTHING about women...
Jennifer Smith ikr because he's gay....... he has no experience of what so ever
To be fair, if a guy has a fling with another guy, there's at least a little gay in him. But I don't think one sexual experience in college should define someone for the rest of their life.
That's not true. Some people are interested in experimentation for its own sake, or just to prove to themselves that they're open minded, or just out of plain curiosity. Have you ever tried a type of food you were almost certain you wouldn't like, and then found that you were correct? The fact that you tried it doesn't mean part of you actually liked it. Also, attraction and revulsion aren't a dichotomy. Something not turning you on doesn't mean it necessarily turns you off. If you fool around with a guy and it doesn't do it for you, leaving you indifferent about the experience, that's as straight as it turning you off.
Woman Didn't do anything to straighten. Individual guys are part of a demographic that. There are narcissistic and super religious straight men who socially oppressed women
You talk like that's a bad thing.
I pray they find a cure
Speak for yourself...
I now totally understand why the Russians didn't want this garbage to be seen by children.
Well yeah, they needed more viewing time to show the children homoerotic pictures of Putin.
ERAUPRCWA
You could not possibly want your children to be exposed to this, if you have children? I actually do not support a ban on propaganda, because I think it violates freedom. But I fully understand why 99% of Russia voted for this, because this is thoroughly disgusting.
Jake Burgeron Do you mean the actual message or the language? The language is suited for college kids and adults, not for children, I'll give you that, but he isn't addressing children, he is addressing young adults and adults in a language culturally suited for them. The message, however, is almost universal... and not disgusting at all.
Yeah, it takes time away from watching skin head propaganda.
You're too obsessed with Gay. Insecurity too much?
lol, he's projecting so hard you can feel him try to want to be straight
This dude is clueless.
phiten40 Why?
STRAIGHT BETA MANGINAS might like this video....
real hetero man, nah, roll eyes
Please find Jesus. Or something to help u out of this fantasy
This man is lost needs to saved from the judgment to come. REPENT and believe in Jesus!
Ahahaaa I know right! So funny.
So sad to see this young man whom carries such a vile disease in the sight of God , display so much arrogance. & that he be cleansed of his mind through reconnecting to his one true maker before he faces the fire of hell.
So hating gay people is wrong …..but hating straight people is funny & encouraged?? The double standards never end.
Poor gay guy... he doesn't have a clue what a real man is like.
C'mon Dan! Such supercilious bullshit. Examine honestly your compulsion to bash straight guys. This is a common phenomenon. You're riding the cultural wave that makes it cool to be gay just as once it was, and in some measure still is, cool to be black. This "I feel sorry for straight guys" bullshit is not fooling me. It's a cover for your own feelings of inadequacy. Still, I can't blame you for using it while you can get away with it. Whatever gets you through the night.
I'm sorry for the emptiness of sodomy.