I was listening to this in the car with my kid, and told her if her dad asked me to pick between him and her, I'd pick her immediately and kick him out ahha
I was also completely shocked that the mom picked the step dad over her own daughter like… no? Idc if step dad was “in the right” at the time, placing that ultimatum is a different situation entirely and he’s just wrong for that. Also what kinda beef could he have with a child? Bruh
What makes me especially sad about story two is that it wasn't even just a normal dinner she'd messed up. It was an incredibly special and romantic meal she'd prepared. Candles, wine. She'd gone so far out of her way to make a sweet evening for them and he ruined it by belittling her.
In the last story his wife definitely lacked communication. You can't just bring new kinks into a relationship out of the blue and then get upset when your partner voices their discomfort. I think John and Sean got a bit too caught up in their joke to fully register what the story was actually about. We all have off days, so I'm not gonna harp on it too bad since this was honestly the first bad take I've heard from them.
I definitely agree with Josh on the last story. Sex really isnt that important to me but the second it becomes transactional it becomes a chore. It would feel as if there's no intimacy anymore. She should have communicated the second she realized this kink. It's good they had a happy update
last story: I think y'all are missing the matter of consent and communication, like the wife has a new thing she's into and has made it apart of their daily life and when he expresses concerns about it she doesn't discuss it further but gets upset, OP has been made to feel undeserving of intimacy and affection unless he does certain tasks which can cause feelings of inadequacy and ultimately resentment
i think they’re having the same mindset he did at the beginning where it was fucking awesome, but after OP lived it for sooooo long, it wasn’t not fun anymore
The second story reminds me of a story that my grandmother used to tell me when I was a kid. She always told us she was not a good cook, which was fine, but to illustrate her point she would tell us the story of the first meal she ever cooked for our grandfather. She made a casserole and worked very hard on the dinner partially because her mother-in-law didn't think she could handle being a wife (she was one of those mother-in-laws who saw my grandmother as taking my grandfather "away from her"). The recipe called for lemon juice and my grandmother purchased lemon extract. I'm sure you all know the difference and how strong the taste was. When my grandfather got home, she asked him to sit down for their first meal as a married couple. He sat down, took a big forkful of casserole, and she saw the look on his face as the lemon extract hit him full on. He didn't say anything, but it was obvious that this was a miserable experience and my grandmother didn't bother eating her portion. However, grandfather just kept eating and after he had cleared his plate he gave her a hug and a kiss and told her it was the best meal he'd ever eaten. That is how a real man treats a situation like this.
This isn't as sweet of a situation, but this reminded me of when I lived with my grandfather (mom and I moved in with him after grandma passed, maternal grandparents, then mom moved out to live with her boyfriend). I lived with him from 10 to 22. This must have been when I was.... 15 or 16. Grandpa was pretty much always the one cooking dinner, and he'd learned one of my favorites, that became our shared favorite. A very simple tomatoe soup with pasta (spaghetti) and cut up hotdogs (no specific kind). He used to put in some paprika powder (I believe that's what it's called in English). But that day.... that day he accidentally took chayenne pepper. Neither of us are fans of spicy food, so that was probably left by my mom. Luckily he noticed before he'd mixed it, so he removed as much as he could. He told me about the mistake when he called me up for dinner (I was in my room; I "conquered" my mothers room when she left 😂) and we then went our separate ways to eat. I came up maybe 30-40 minutes later, sweaty and flushed in the face. Having finished this big soup bowl (he always gave me the bigger portion), and he asked if I'd eaten it all. Which I did. He hadn't. He couldn't finish it, so he'd taken a pan pizza (small 1 portion microwave thing) instead. I'd forced that soup down, and drank 2-3 liters of milk to "survive" 😂 (0.5-7 gallons). I do miss him.
Story 5 Everyone say it with me: KINKS NEED TO ALWAYS BE COMMUNICATED PERIOD!! If one party has communicated that they are uncomfortable with any kink that is them not consenting to said kink. That is abuse. It doesn't matter if one party likes it, kinks like sex need to be an enthusiastic yes on both end. Should've op talked about it more yes. But the wife was the one who likes it and instead of talking with OP she started it without communicating and that is not okay. Not everyone has the same kinks and thats okay! The person who has the kink is responsible for bring it up!!! In conclusion, the wife should've opened up and talked about first, not OP Rant over, this stuff really gets me heated for some reason Edit: im really disappointed in Sean and John's takes here.
i dont think she *knew* this was a kink of hers though. and if op doesnt wanna do that sorta kink, thats fine. you shouldnt force someone to participate at all. though if she knew thats what turned her on w/o knowing thats a kink, she still shouldve communicated WAY earlier as well as op bc she didnt know he didnt like it before he knew it was her kink
@@kaitlynmorgan4613 yeah, totally not what my ex did. He was into anal, and never told me, until he tried to do that with me and I had freaked out. "Oh come on, you're going to love it." Yeah, nah. Not when I didn't know that it would happen until he tried to force it in. One of my best breakups 👍
Guy from the second story sounds controlling af. He wanted to bring her down for doing something nice. He saw how happy she was and that probably pissed him off. I had a family member who did this and watching the aftermath was so terrible
@@babytooty04that’s exactly what I was thinking! Like absolutely berating her for an innocent mistake & then refusing to let it go despite her obviously being upset about it. It’s giving major red flags!
Could you guys read more of the comments. I really enjoy your opinions, but I would also like to hear more than one comment at the end before the next story.
okay so a woman’s perspective on that last story. If i was in that man’s position and my boyfriend ONLY had sex with me if i did extra for him. It would make me sad, I still do all the regular stuff but don’t have time to cook dinner or something and he won’t want to be with me. It would make me feel bad
True I def think that’s the double standard in our patriarchal society and one where it hurts the man side. “Men always want sex” “reward men with sex!” In terms of that story I was interpreting it as “i must do this in order to be worthy of love” of course that’s an extreme because sex is not the only part of love but it’s a part of love especially in a marriage. Like you said, if you were too tired to go above and beyond one day and your BF said “ok no love for you tonight”, that would be really sad
A problem with the last story is, partially like the guys said, a lack of communication. But not on op's end. The problem here is the wife who has discovered a kink she likes and has started living it out for months without ever bringing it up to her husband, asking for his consent or even checking if this is something he would even be interested in. I know everything worked out in the end and they both discovered something about themselves and are happy, but behavior modification and reward systems can go seriously wrong in even the most talked through scenarios of BDSM, and if one partner is not fully educated or has consented to it, it can have serious consequences (as I discovered myself in the form of anxiety, people pleasing to the extreme and losing myself because I didn't want to be punished.) Just some food for thought.
I agree. It seems though that she lost her interest in sex and found the joy through this kink. And that she didn't realize it was a kink until later. Which is understandable, but communication earlier on about 'hey I'm finding that this is the only way I can be really into it' would have brought that discovery to light earlier and allowed for more communication and being on the same page. Instead of it getting to the point where he felt like it was a transaction with no feeling. Sounds like they are both into it which helps but could have easily ended up the other way where he felt used without his consent.
You need to let them read the stories with you sometimes. They were not understanding the reward system story at alllll. There were no rewards before the last few months. He doesn’t like being seen as a person who only likes sex as a reward when it’s an intimate part of the relationship for him. She’s his wife not an escort.
Idk what even happened there, somehow all of us got it just from listening, but both of them didn't 🫠 They didn't even change their mind when the wife admitted she was in the wrong and should've communicated
Oh the guy with the bigger girl. My heart hurts for her. No one ever told her the dating world’s best kept secret: there are plenty of men out there that not only desire but fall deeply in love with bigger women. Someone hurt her and he just needs to shower her with love and prove he loves every part of her. I’m a fat lady so I can speak on this. Bigger ladies: If he is with you when you are clothed, he will still enjoy you when you’re naked. He can see you’re fat and he’s into it. Especially 6 months in. He just wants it all. And if he is a douche then he did you a favorbc you get to be rid of him. BUT! A good first step would be to use like a colored light, red or black or pink. Something moody and dark but still illuminates you. I have one that changes to like 12 colors and it’s so fun! Then you can work up to other lights. Support and love can definitely help this gf to feel safe enough. I know from experience. My boyfriend would repeat all the time that he wanted to know all of me. And after two years he finally does lol. As a people pleaser I had a hard time at first being myself because he was so great I really didn’t want to mess it up. Being loved for being myself is definitely the best though. Anyways now I’m just rambling. Great episode dudes!! I finally got to the update: this man is a wholesome SWEETIE! All of that will help her to make it fun while also getting her comfortable.
YES! My girlfriend has been instrumental in me loving and accepting my body, after all these years. She loves all of me, desires all of me and deserves all of me. ♥️
One of my exes, the best one of them (life happened and we had to split), was always supportive and loved how I look. I'm a bigger girl, and honestly still don't understand what he saw in me.
@@lina9535 oh babe! he saw YOU! The real you, and he liked what he saw!🩷 if you ever valued his opinion on other topics, trust his opinion of you! ☺️ the idea that bigger girls cannot be attractive is so so so wrong and like I said, complete myth. Beauty is totally subjective. That’s why the “standard” is constantly fluctuating. Plus, everyone has a different preference, whether it’s about eye color or hair color or personality or body type. Im sure he was not only attracted to you for your body OR personality but the whole package. Trust me - I’ve dated a lot of men, all of which found my soft curvy body as incredibly sexy, AND cherished me for my personality. There are PLENTY of bigger girl loving men out there looking for the right girlie to scoop up.🩷🩷🩷
52:07 Story 5: Okay, it doesn't sound like you guys are joking at this point (I had hoped they were). The fact that John and Sean are not horrified and think nothing of the wife turning her *husband* into a common "John" without his consent is very alarming. OP feels so insulted and degraded that he has gotten to the point of opting to turn down his so-called "reward" from his wife. Some "reward" when it feels more gratifying to turn it down than to accept it! The fact that the wife runs out crying, when OP rightfully calls her out for her disgusting behaviour, is also telling and shows no sign of remorse or accountability. I love this podcast, but lately it seems like Josh is the only delivering fair, rational takes without being so heavily skewed in favour of the woman Edit: Good on the wife for coming around. I figured this might be a kink of hers. But, again it has to be CONSENSUAL. You can't establish consent without communication. She wouldn't have even known there was a problem if OP hadn't expressed his frustration over it (ironic because the guys keep calling him uncommunicative when it is the wife that failed to be so). He could've definitely tried talking calmly before escalating, I agree. But even then, expressing anger and frustration is *not* automatically abusive. OP still expressed his outrage and feelings without going to the extreme. Edit 2: 69 (sex better freaking transformational and mindblowing if it's going to be used as a "reward" though.
I feel the last story wasnt broken down properly for them. Because i don't think theyd be okay if their wives suddenly didnt let them touch them at all unless they did a chore. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they just had the point of the situation SAIL over their heads.
On the salt story his reaction was insane but the difference between a tablespoon and teaspoon is pretty big. It would likely be more than a little salty depending on size of the dish. However that is no justification for that response! Just wanted to clear the measurement thing up.
The easy fix to that is to double the pasta (just boil some and mix it in) and some cream, lemon, and parsley. There was no reason to toss it when there's a simple solution; he either did it to be mean/teach her a "lesson" or because HE was too emotional
It depends imo. If you do the "heaping" or "flattened out the top" kind of measuring if you use actual spoons. 1 tablespoon is 3 teaspoons. With the 1st one "heaping", yeah it's a bigger difference. But if you brush off the extra "little mountain" (not sure how to explain it, English isn't my native language), then it's not that big of a difference. Saltier yes, but not outrageous. It's also a casserole.
Story 5: I think you boys tried to see it from ops perspective as much as you could, but Josh brought up the correct point. If all of a sudden you didn't ever have sex unless you did your chores, there's no way that would be as 'cool' as yall are making it out to be. What if you're tired or don't have time for both? Then no sex. Also, imagine if this story was the other way around. The husband only does house chores if his wife has the house/dishes clean when he gets home. You'd rip him to shreds. Using sex only as reward takes the purpose of it away. It should exist outside of chores and responsibilities. Obviously they are connected, but she had been explicitly saying that the reward of sex was only due to him completing chores every time they had sex. I am confident if yall were in his shoes it would also start to feel empty, regardless of what you're thinking it sounds like now.
And the worst part is, it wasn’t even just his chores. It was her chores. You would basically have to go above and beyond to get something that was pretty standard in their relationship beforehand from the sounds of it.
For the salty man story. I personally feel like he was looking for an excuse to rag on the meal because she messed up the food schedule. The schedule seems too important to him for a spur of the moment change. Like he said, he wants an almost 2 weeks advance notice to know to make a change in the meal plan. So he found something that "ruined" the meal. 2 extra teaspoons shouldn't make anything as salty as a pickle. Add some pepper and balance that shit out. He didn't even try that. He just trashed the meal without attempting to save it to make a point as to why you stay on the designated meal plan. I feel terrible for that wife.
I really connect with the first story…. My father got married to a women and I became the scape goat and laughing stock of the house at 13. I got sent to live with some cousins but the cousins couldn’t afford to keep me since my dad said he would pay for my expenses (never did) and kept coming over blasted drunk anything him and his wife fought, which was constantly. Then got sent to my drug attic mothers for a couple years fending for myself and taking care my new born little sisters with men constantly revolving in and out. Then met a boyfriend in high school and moved in with his family during a summer, bad idea. Lots of mental, sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. Broke up with him and got myself into a foster home at 17. Moved out after graduation at 18 into my own apartment by myself. I’m now 22 and it feels unreal to look back at.
Story 2, my boyfriend raised his niece until she was six, he was essentially her daddy but there were no papers giving him custody. The "legal guardians" (grandparents) realized they couldn't have anymore kids so they took her back. He had no rights. Hopefully, because the 15 year old has a closer familial line and is old enough to fully get her point across, the court will let her choose. Unfortunately, I rarely see justice take the side that's best for the child.
With the dishwasher story it could also be that when she loads, he unloads and vice versa, so she loads correctly and the stuff comes out clean, but with all the gunk he leaves on it she has to unload dirty dishes.
Hey, Sean and John! I’m 5’5” and medically considered obese too. However, when you take into account my actual body fat percentage (which is how they *should* be doing it), I’m in the normal range. I have very broad shoulders and a muscular build. If I were to get down to the weight most “doctors” would want me at to no longer be considered obese, my body fat percentage would be so low I would lose my period. Long story short: most doctors using BMI suck and please take your build and muscle mass into consideration ❤️
i honestly cannot believe how much john and sean doubled down on their opinions of the last story this is probably the most icked out listening to their responses on stories
They're just caught up in thinking about how they'd be fine with the kink. But the problem is that it's not about them, it's about OP. Reverse the genders and I'm sure a lot of people might disapprove of a woman being rewarded/punished by a man like that. Yet some women love the kink of "daddy called me a good girl and rewarded me with something special when I did good teehee." Also, part of them not seeing anything wrong with their response is that so often men are the scum of the earth in reddit stories concerning sex, so when a woman is benefitting from a man working for her affections, it can seem like a positive thing. But just goes to show that simply reversing a situation doesn't simply make it "okay". A lot of people have that false assumption across a lot of different topics. It's easy to fall into that trap, and it's something that we always need to be aware of.
Yeah I was hoping others felt this way because they turned into such bro dudes who heard the word "sex" and failed to see any nuance or have empathy. Definitely icky
57:43 they were both adults doing their share of the chores. the wife at 7 years started asking for him to do her chores in exchange for sex. and then they started only having sex when he did her chores.
Im sorry but Sean and John's response to the last story is *insane* Why on earth would it be on him to figure out why his wife is suddenly treating him like a dog? Why wouldn't he be upset by being reduced to the dopey sitcom dad who only does stuff because of sex? It makes me sad about the state of their relationships.
Yeah lol it makes me feel like sex is not frequent in their relationships bc they were so blindly excited about that concept and could not grasp why it would be a problem "because he's getting laid!!!!!" I jokingly try to bribe my bf with sex sometimes ("😏😏 I'll give u a bj if u let me hang my wind chimes outside 😛" [he thinks they're annoying lmao]) and he's always like "aint gonna work on me, woman! I get it all the time 😌💁♂️" 😂 sex has no negotiating power between us and that's a good thing
Oof, that wife made sex transactional by only using it as a reward. That's a slippery slope. Imagine if the genders were reversed, people would be so upset if he was the one using sex as a reward for doing housework. She needs to sit down and have a talk with him.
Thats exactly what I was thinking! I feel like the guys would be way more upset if the genders were reversed. Either way it’s not ok for sex to be transactional in a relationship. Especially if it’s used as a punishment as well which I think the guys glossed over in this discussion
Story 3: big girl here! I used to have this same issue. It honestly took one guy snapping me out of it, and this guy seems like the most amazing person to do that for her. The way he communicated to Reddit is exactly the way he should communicate it to her. It gave me chills just to hear it read, i could only imagine hearing it directly from my partner
Truthfully, not fun being the person who can't gain weight. There are a lot of health problems surrounding that, it's hard to find clothes that don't make you look like you're drowning in them, and skinny people get bullied about their weight, too. I've heard more than my fair share of "get that kid a sandwich" jokes, had people assume that I have cancer when I struggled to keep weight on, etc. Both sides have their challenges, this is a "the grass is always greener" scenario.
Same and I guess I understand why people might get annoyed if I complained about not being able to gain weight, but I've been bony my whole life and I really hate being so skinny. I've managed to gain enough weight to be "filled out" but eating that much made me feel sick and I gave up and dropped back to my baseline. I live in an area that really appreciates curvy women, so still having the body of a teenager in my 30s makes me self conscious and I get snarky comments about it sometimes. Plus, if there's ever a severe food shortage I'll be the first to starve to death 🫠
@@k3upikachu i kinda went through the same thing. Im 4'11, 140lbs and a whopping 34 years old but from like the age of 14 until i was 32 i only weighed 110lbs so im glad i could put on some weight but i still get "jokes" which are really backhanded compliments or straight up snarky or rude comments about how i look like a teenager still the worst one being, "hey, youre a pedos dream woman" it still makes me disgusted to think about that so called "joke"! But i do a lot of self deprecating humor about my height and looks but at my own expense and usually take most jokes well but those ones get to me.
With the story about the dishes, she should have put all of the dirty dishes back into the sink and forced him to hand wash every single one of them. I don't blame her for throwing everything away, I have done something similar. But him having to hand wash everything a few times will get him to understand the real issue.
Story 1: I was an extremely difficult teen, I had severe mental health issues that I refused to handle. When my family and I needed a BREAK, I'd go to my aunt's for a week. Not once did I get abandoned. She just uses her daughter being "difficult" as an excuse for her shit behavior😂 (I was also never forced to go, it was used as a safe space for me when things were tough at home, I was always asked if I wanted to go and have a break, never told to go)
21:16 one time I accidentally added WAY too much salt when cooking lunch to the point that you can taste nothing but salt but you know what my husband did? He ate his whole plate and told me it's delicious (I knew he was lying) 3 years later he tell me oh yeah it tasted horrible but you worked hard on it
Story 2.. I just did this exact same thing the other day. I accidentally added a tablespoon of salt instead of half a teaspoon to my cookies, that I've made a hundred times. I tried getting most of it out, mixed it.. and it was still way too salty. So I dumped it out and started over. My boyfriend wasn't pissed at me for throwing away food and starting over, because hes not a ridiculous person.. and he also didn't want salty chocolate chip cookies 😂
Related to the husband calling his wife too emotional while cooking: I was once at a cabin with about 10 friends. One other friend and I were making everyone dinner (a chicken broccoli casserole). The recipe called for flour, but we didn't have any and were very far from the store. I suggested we use some of the pancake mix, not thinking about the sugar in the mix. When I tell you they each are their portion of this weird chicken pancake broccoli thing, I still can't believe it. We all knew it was nasty and they were so loving about it anyway, and we laugh on it now. So yes that husband sucks big time!!
PRO TIP ON DISHWASHERS: dishwash pods are a scam. They are charging you way more for doing less. The pods try to include a pre-wash, but obviously that's never gonna work since that part of the pod can't come out first. Use liquid or powder detergent. Fill the dispenser AND put some in the prewash spot or bottom of the door. Your dishes will be cleaner and you'll save lots of money!
Also - if you do it this way there's no need to rinse the dishes first. Just scrape any chunks into the trash (there are a few exceptions - I will rinse for extra sticky stuff like oatmeal or rice).
you guys. the last story gave me a whole new perspective on my own relationship. my fiance is demisexual and hes a sheriffs deputy. he works five days in a row doing 12hrs. i have trauma related to cleaning and shit from my childhood. we've been trying to work through all that. hearing that his wife wanted to have sex with him when he did things for her, just made me see that that is something my fiance has needed but never voiced it that way to me. he could care less if we ever have sex. i however, am like sean and john. this story made me think back about some of the things ive noticed about my fiance. i noticed that when i had taken care of him in a way in the past hes been more affectionate. and one night he thought i had laid his pajamas out, but i didnt it was just a shirt i had forgotten to put away. and he was sad about it in a joking way, but now i realize it probably was a genuine let down. thank you.
I have very strong opinions on pre-washing all dishes before putting them in the dish washer. Even if it's food/crumbs/sauce that will easily come off, then you just have dirty food water hitting all your dishes. That weird gross smell that some dishwashers have? You should also clean the dishwasher itself every once in a while. As an analogy, imagine puke on a blanket and Not pre-washing the blanket but throwing it in the clothes washing machine with normal dirty clothes. That would be disgusting.
For the smell try adding distilled white vinegar. I only noticed that smell while renting for school and vinegar helped. Just throw in a cup full right before running the washer
Okay, so the thing about the last story is that it’s very much entering into BDSM territory with power differentials. I think with any new power dynamic in a relationship you NEED to discuss parameters beforehand. Especially the whole reward/punishment stuff- if someone isn’t clued in it can easily start to become abusive or coercive. You can’t really just subtly work it in like the wife was trying to do. It does sound like they worked it out with their communication by the end of it. But Y’ALL. It’s not weird or corny to ASK your partner if you want to do those kinds of kink dynamics because establishing those parameters and boundaries will save you and your partner(s) from feeling uncomfortable or weird about what’s happening.
Part of me is wondering if OP in the dishwasher story needs to check their eye prescription if they aren't noticing how dirty these dishes are. I have family with really bad vision and sometimes if they put away the dishes they will completely fail to notice if a dish is still dirty. Besides that, just rinse your dishes and maybe consider the dishsoap your'e using in the dishwasher, man.
For the cooking dinner story: My husband and I have a "5-minute rule" for when I make dinner. I almost never cook because it stresses me out. When I do, he has full permission to LIE. Or, if he doesn't want to lie, he can say "wow sweetheart, thanks so much for dinner" and just appreciating the effort. After 5 minutes (estimate, it's not like we have a timer or anything), I need him to tell me the truth or I'll 100% make it again in the future. Lol.
On story 5 (a woman's perspective I guess) there absolutely is something wrong with it, even if it's just once in a while, if both parties aren't into it. The fact that she started doing it without discussing it is problematic to me. She should have communicated her needs if the issue was him putting in more effort. I did immediately wonder if she wanted to try a kind of power dynamic, having the authority to decide when he "deserves" sex. Wanting to include different dynamics in your sex life is something to do together, it shouldn't be one sided. I'm surprised you guys didn't find it unproblematic. I would feel so shitty if my partner used sex like parents use screen-time when disciplining their kids.
Story 1 is a lot like mine so i have a bias in favor of the 10yo either way. Im 99% sure that this was a christian family where husband is higher priority than children, biblically. So the kids are assumed the problem, not the husband. This mom would have absolutely looked the other way in dv/sa situations.
If you threw my food in the trash and ordered a pizza, I’d break up with you immediately. That intentional gesture is extremely rude and disrespectful… way more than accidentally putting in too much salt. Get your head out of the gutter.
Story 4: The guys and redditers are giving the wife a lot of grace because she warned OP. But, it's still unreasonable and wasteful to throw the dishes in the trash. If wife was so adamant to give them away (still a stupid response), wash them effectively and donate them. OR what John(?) said. MAKE HIM WASH THEM PROPERLY. He learns to clean better, no waste. Win win. The fact that there are a lot of perfectly fine alternatives to * stupidly f*cking throwing perfectly good dishware in the TRASH* tells me that the wife is being immature and just throwing an OTT tantrum. OP sucks for being dismissive, but wife also sucks for being really petty and retaliating in a very stupid way.
My petty ass would serve him a beautiful delicious dinner, his favorite... on the dirty ass plates fresh from the dishwasher. Banana goo and all. 'What? They are totally clean, babe. I just got them out of the dishwasher. They are still hot from the sanitize cycle. What are you talking about?'
no way does being emotional affect ur cooking. she MISREAD the recipe, wtf 💀💀 that guy seems incredibly misogynistic, id bet he'd call his wife hysterical for being upset at something bad he did
“Different cleaning standards” in regard to dishes is a weird take. Dishes are clean OR they aren’t. If your standard for “clean” dishes is lower, you use them.
Never had a dishwasher in my life, but yo those sound like a waste of time, money and water. Had to be reminded of whether the couple in Story 4 were married or not cause it'd make a big difference based on whose dishes they were. OP needs to acknowledge that he wasn't getting the job done as per the dish-washing agreement. But OP's partner is dumb for throwing out her/their own dishes. Unless she's hoarding a couple for herself, she's gonna have to eat off the bare table with her hands soon. If she's got her own, then OP should have his own too, everyone manages their own dish collection, the end. The partner no longer has to deal with OP's sloppy work, and OP has to deal with eating off his dirty work. OP's ignorantly incompetent, but throwing away property for no reason is the bigger crime here. God forbid he does a shoddy job at washing the car.
Normally, I love this podcast, but the last story was pretty infuriating. They are not understanding it like at. For seven years they have been pulling their own weight of chores. Then all of a sudden, if he does something a little extra, he gets sex. After a little bit of time the only time they would have sex is when he was going above and beyond. Basically paying for the sex with services. And if he didn’t go above and beyond, they would not be intimate. She made it completely transactional, and he even made it sound like it was more than just sex too. Other intimacy was basically now behind a paywall. But they basically refused to like understand what was happening in the story.
Ok.... #1 budget... Idk what this family's budget is , so idk if asking for the week prior for meal change is normal or not. But it seems reasonable. Do shopping on weekend, already have meals for entire week planned/prepped... to change it on the day of... I could see there being an issue. #2 spitting the food out.... I have done this only 2x in my entire life. Both times were because of over salting. My wife spat out her first bite of a meal I made for the same reason. Too much salt kills a dish. So from.what is heard from this short, I'd say no AH here.
I’ve made it to the end but I think my ears are still bleeding from the Happy Birthday song 😂 As always, love your individual takes on each story. Great job, guys
Laughed my ass off with this episode not everyone is going to agree with your opinion but they are your opinions It’s nice to see your fun kinky takes on the stories I also agree 😊with
15:48 let me tell you about when my grandpa and I "banned" my mom (his daughter) from seasoning the food (before she moved out to live with her bf). We made french fries and... some sort of steak. Mom salted the fries, and when I tell you that there was no, and I mean NO taste of potatoe, I'm 100% serious.
Sometimes, I've found stuff on cleaned dishes that was from other dishes in the dishwasher. Example. I had a tuna salad, I ate it in a small bowl, didn't rinse it before I started the dishwasher. I always open it and let it air dry when it's done, it's an ocd of mine I can't stand wet dishes and I haven't found good towels yet 😂 Anyway, so I pick up a regular dinner plate and as I'm about to put it away, I feel something on the underside. Lo and behold, some dried tuna. Rinsing the dishes is said to "prolong the life" of your dishwasher.
The first story, usually by like age 12 or 13 can decide where they live and yeah it also depends on if she provides support, monetary or otherwise, whether she visited or took care of her(which she didnt at all) so yeah a lot of judges would laugh her out of the room. Sadly, my sister got her daughter(my niece) taken away from her when she was 5 and now theyre forcing her to pay child support(her sperm donor is a creep, tried making my sister ask me for nudes for his bday and lives with his birth giver and has a higher paying job and side business as a photographer and barely takes care of her my sister sends her everything she needs, calls and texts her, plays their switches together, ect.) And she turned 13 july 10th so she gets to decide where she wants to live hopefully soon and shes always said she wants to be with us her mom, her grandpa and her favorite auntie(apparently im the cool aunt with the awesome friends who ive chosen as my family and they absolutely adore her and are very protective over her as well as all three of us) so yeah, the birth giver in the first story is mental and has no chance getting her daughter back and frankly doesnt deserve her!! Sorry for the long ass comment but i love you guys so much keep up the great work brofessors!!! P.s the piece of garbage in the second story would be in the trash(well trash bags to be more exact) along with the food he wasted over a simple mistake!!
The 5th story is like the cat story from the last video 😅. From the story I understand that the op have set only as a reward and there is no spontaneous action. So ... I am with Josh again. Boys what's going on with you😅?
Also hot take but imo its ridiculous how much athletes get paid but our miltary members all branches, teachers, unions ect dont get the same respect idk but sometimes i wish i could just move out of america to italy or japan or something and faking an accent or something haha this place straight up sucks ass sometimes haha.
22:00. This guy is treating the scenario as if he's Head Chef at a culinary school, and his wife is a first-timer. Had it been me, he'd have been wearing the rest of the dish.
I have to say the second story sounds like op could be on the autism spectrum with routine and if a tablespoon of salt made it to salty for him that might mean that is sense of taste is a lot more heightened due to autism because I have autism I have my routines and all my senses are quite so I'm very sensitive sound smell taste so a dish like that yeah outsides ruined myself not to mention I have been told many times that I have no filter meaning I'm extremely Blunt like op was
I can see why the guy wouldn't enjoy the transactional sex but I'm confused why he is assuming she got it from somewhere or someone? He should have simply said "I don't enjoy this" not "where did you learn this!"
Because they've neev together for years and suddenly she changed up, of course she "got it somewhere", she didn't even communicate to him it was her idea/kink/whatever. Crazy to nitpick on his question when she was the one who failed to communicate in the first place.
Sorry but story 4 (throwing away the plates) to be fair to her, she did tell him exactly what she would do AFTER what it seems has been multiple conversations. So I say not the a-hole given that she put in a clear boundary and consequences for that boundary being broken. Why ask him to clean them again when it clearly feels she has to nag to get something done. She's a wife, not his mother and shouldn't be made to feel like she has to pick up after him. I'm on her side, I would have done the same thing.
I rinse dishes depending on what was eaten. Like cheese needs to get rinsed cause it sticks to the dishes and might get backed onto the dish during the drying cycle.
STORY 1: HOT TAKE(an actual one unlike the THT podcast) Personally, I think agree with the guys or anyone else who insists that parents should divorce if their kids don't want to accept their union or any kind of change simply for their convenience. That being said, OP and Mike still have a duty to set the precedent to be considerate toward their kids and do everything in their power to ensure their wellbeing and gradually integrate the household into a single family unit. Let's say Mike didn't suck and was a perfectly good guy (along with OP). OP should've sat down Stephanie and let her know: 1. You are valid in your feelings of not liking our new situation and I am not going to dismiss them. However, that is still no excuse for you to treat me, Mike, and the other kids poorly. 2 Just as I wouldn't want you to give up your partner for me if I didn't like him for some arbitrary reason, you shouldn't have that same expectation of me. 3. We've done everything we could on our end and Mike tried his hardest to make things work with you (again, if he didn't suck), but you are unwilling to accept it. And the tension is making taking a toll on their wellbeing of our household. 4. So I am going to present you with another solution. I am bringing up the idea of you living with your grandparents for while. 5. I want to make it very clear I am *not* abandoning you and letting you decide. If you go, it will be chance for you, as well as everyone, to have some space and decompress. I will give you however long you need and will regularly check up on you to see how you are doing. If you decide not to do it now and change your mind later, just let me know and I will arrange it. 6. HOWEVER, if you decide to not do that and continue staying here, you need to meet us halfway and do your best to cooperate. This will only work if we all work together to create a civil, if not harmonious, household. Mike and OP aren't assholes for being in love and staying together, Mike is the asshole because he made a very bad, unreasonable ultimatum. OP is the asshole for not communicating well with Stephanie or her parents (sounds like they were blindsided as well) and trying to force Stephanie to move back in with them.
If anyone told me to pick between my child and them I will ALWAYS pick my baby what the actual fuck
I was listening to this in the car with my kid, and told her if her dad asked me to pick between him and her, I'd pick her immediately and kick him out ahha
For real, when I heard that I went oh my god what kind of mom just dumps her kid off because some dude
Talk about red flags from both parents
I was also completely shocked that the mom picked the step dad over her own daughter like… no? Idc if step dad was “in the right” at the time, placing that ultimatum is a different situation entirely and he’s just wrong for that.
Also what kinda beef could he have with a child? Bruh
What makes me especially sad about story two is that it wasn't even just a normal dinner she'd messed up. It was an incredibly special and romantic meal she'd prepared. Candles, wine. She'd gone so far out of her way to make a sweet evening for them and he ruined it by belittling her.
In the last story his wife definitely lacked communication. You can't just bring new kinks into a relationship out of the blue and then get upset when your partner voices their discomfort.
I think John and Sean got a bit too caught up in their joke to fully register what the story was actually about. We all have off days, so I'm not gonna harp on it too bad since this was honestly the first bad take I've heard from them.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing
I definitely agree with Josh on the last story. Sex really isnt that important to me but the second it becomes transactional it becomes a chore. It would feel as if there's no intimacy anymore. She should have communicated the second she realized this kink. It's good they had a happy update
last story: I think y'all are missing the matter of consent and communication, like the wife has a new thing she's into and has made it apart of their daily life and when he expresses concerns about it she doesn't discuss it further but gets upset, OP has been made to feel undeserving of intimacy and affection unless he does certain tasks which can cause feelings of inadequacy and ultimately resentment
i think they’re having the same mindset he did at the beginning where it was fucking awesome, but after OP lived it for sooooo long, it wasn’t not fun anymore
The second story reminds me of a story that my grandmother used to tell me when I was a kid. She always told us she was not a good cook, which was fine, but to illustrate her point she would tell us the story of the first meal she ever cooked for our grandfather. She made a casserole and worked very hard on the dinner partially because her mother-in-law didn't think she could handle being a wife (she was one of those mother-in-laws who saw my grandmother as taking my grandfather "away from her"). The recipe called for lemon juice and my grandmother purchased lemon extract. I'm sure you all know the difference and how strong the taste was.
When my grandfather got home, she asked him to sit down for their first meal as a married couple. He sat down, took a big forkful of casserole, and she saw the look on his face as the lemon extract hit him full on. He didn't say anything, but it was obvious that this was a miserable experience and my grandmother didn't bother eating her portion. However, grandfather just kept eating and after he had cleared his plate he gave her a hug and a kiss and told her it was the best meal he'd ever eaten. That is how a real man treats a situation like this.
thats so sweet omg 😭😭
This isn't as sweet of a situation, but this reminded me of when I lived with my grandfather (mom and I moved in with him after grandma passed, maternal grandparents, then mom moved out to live with her boyfriend). I lived with him from 10 to 22. This must have been when I was.... 15 or 16.
Grandpa was pretty much always the one cooking dinner, and he'd learned one of my favorites, that became our shared favorite.
A very simple tomatoe soup with pasta (spaghetti) and cut up hotdogs (no specific kind).
He used to put in some paprika powder (I believe that's what it's called in English).
But that day.... that day he accidentally took chayenne pepper. Neither of us are fans of spicy food, so that was probably left by my mom.
Luckily he noticed before he'd mixed it, so he removed as much as he could.
He told me about the mistake when he called me up for dinner (I was in my room; I "conquered" my mothers room when she left 😂) and we then went our separate ways to eat.
I came up maybe 30-40 minutes later, sweaty and flushed in the face. Having finished this big soup bowl (he always gave me the bigger portion), and he asked if I'd eaten it all. Which I did.
He hadn't. He couldn't finish it, so he'd taken a pan pizza (small 1 portion microwave thing) instead.
I'd forced that soup down, and drank 2-3 liters of milk to "survive" 😂 (0.5-7 gallons).
I do miss him.
@@lina9535 you conquered the soup as well as the room. Great story, thanks for sharing!
“Kept tabs on her online” sounds to me like “ I saw her posts come up on my feed”
“Make sure she’s still alive but not actually talk to her myself”
Story 5
Everyone say it with me:
KINKS NEED TO ALWAYS BE COMMUNICATED PERIOD!!
If one party has communicated that they are uncomfortable with any kink that is them not consenting to said kink. That is abuse. It doesn't matter if one party likes it, kinks like sex need to be an enthusiastic yes on both end. Should've op talked about it more yes. But the wife was the one who likes it and instead of talking with OP she started it without communicating and that is not okay.
Not everyone has the same kinks and thats okay!
The person who has the kink is responsible for bring it up!!!
In conclusion, the wife should've opened up and talked about first, not OP
Rant over, this stuff really gets me heated for some reason
Edit: im really disappointed in Sean and John's takes here.
No yeah I was a little disappointed too :( but it seems like the couple ended up communicating, so that’s good
i dont think she *knew* this was a kink of hers though. and if op doesnt wanna do that sorta kink, thats fine. you shouldnt force someone to participate at all. though if she knew thats what turned her on w/o knowing thats a kink, she still shouldve communicated WAY earlier as well as op bc she didnt know he didnt like it before he knew it was her kink
@@kaitlynmorgan4613 yeah, totally not what my ex did.
He was into anal, and never told me, until he tried to do that with me and I had freaked out.
"Oh come on, you're going to love it."
Yeah, nah. Not when I didn't know that it would happen until he tried to force it in.
One of my best breakups 👍
OP in Story 2 is looking to wind up a verse in Cell Block Tango
Chicago?
I wouldn't have thrown the dishes out, I would have put them in the cabinet dirty so he would have to wash it to use it
Guy from the second story sounds controlling af. He wanted to bring her down for doing something nice. He saw how happy she was and that probably pissed him off. I had a family member who did this and watching the aftermath was so terrible
He sounds mentally abusive and almost Red Pill.
@@babytooty04that’s exactly what I was thinking! Like absolutely berating her for an innocent mistake & then refusing to let it go despite her obviously being upset about it. It’s giving major red flags!
he sounds like a classic narcissist. So confident of himself that he tried to gaslight reddit of all places🤦🏻♀️😂😂We all see how well that went😂
Could you guys read more of the comments. I really enjoy your opinions, but I would also like to hear more than one comment at the end before the next story.
same here, wish a few more podcasts did
okay so a woman’s perspective on that last story. If i was in that man’s position and my boyfriend ONLY had sex with me if i did extra for him. It would make me sad, I still do all the regular stuff but don’t have time to cook dinner or something and he won’t want to be with me. It would make me feel bad
True I def think that’s the double standard in our patriarchal society and one where it hurts the man side. “Men always want sex” “reward men with sex!”
In terms of that story I was interpreting it as “i must do this in order to be worthy of love” of course that’s an extreme because sex is not the only part of love but it’s a part of love especially in a marriage.
Like you said, if you were too tired to go above and beyond one day and your BF said “ok no love for you tonight”, that would be really sad
A problem with the last story is, partially like the guys said, a lack of communication. But not on op's end.
The problem here is the wife who has discovered a kink she likes and has started living it out for months without ever bringing it up to her husband, asking for his consent or even checking if this is something he would even be interested in.
I know everything worked out in the end and they both discovered something about themselves and are happy, but behavior modification and reward systems can go seriously wrong in even the most talked through scenarios of BDSM, and if one partner is not fully educated or has consented to it, it can have serious consequences (as I discovered myself in the form of anxiety, people pleasing to the extreme and losing myself because I didn't want to be punished.) Just some food for thought.
I also came to say it's a kink and they need to talk about it. Maybe they can find something that works for both of them.
I agree. It seems though that she lost her interest in sex and found the joy through this kink. And that she didn't realize it was a kink until later. Which is understandable, but communication earlier on about 'hey I'm finding that this is the only way I can be really into it' would have brought that discovery to light earlier and allowed for more communication and being on the same page. Instead of it getting to the point where he felt like it was a transaction with no feeling. Sounds like they are both into it which helps but could have easily ended up the other way where he felt used without his consent.
You need to let them read the stories with you sometimes. They were not understanding the reward system story at alllll. There were no rewards before the last few months. He doesn’t like being seen as a person who only likes sex as a reward when it’s an intimate part of the relationship for him. She’s his wife not an escort.
Idk what even happened there, somehow all of us got it just from listening, but both of them didn't 🫠 They didn't even change their mind when the wife admitted she was in the wrong and should've communicated
Oh the guy with the bigger girl. My heart hurts for her. No one ever told her the dating world’s best kept secret: there are plenty of men out there that not only desire but fall deeply in love with bigger women. Someone hurt her and he just needs to shower her with love and prove he loves every part of her. I’m a fat lady so I can speak on this. Bigger ladies: If he is with you when you are clothed, he will still enjoy you when you’re naked. He can see you’re fat and he’s into it. Especially 6 months in. He just wants it all. And if he is a douche then he did you a favorbc you get to be rid of him. BUT! A good first step would be to use like a colored light, red or black or pink. Something moody and dark but still illuminates you. I have one that changes to like 12 colors and it’s so fun! Then you can work up to other lights. Support and love can definitely help this gf to feel safe enough. I know from experience. My boyfriend would repeat all the time that he wanted to know all of me. And after two years he finally does lol. As a people pleaser I had a hard time at first being myself because he was so great I really didn’t want to mess it up. Being loved for being myself is definitely the best though. Anyways now I’m just rambling. Great episode dudes!!
I finally got to the update: this man is a wholesome SWEETIE! All of that will help her to make it fun while also getting her comfortable.
YES! My girlfriend has been instrumental in me loving and accepting my body, after all these years. She loves all of me, desires all of me and deserves all of me. ♥️
One of my exes, the best one of them (life happened and we had to split), was always supportive and loved how I look.
I'm a bigger girl, and honestly still don't understand what he saw in me.
@@lina9535 oh babe! he saw YOU! The real you, and he liked what he saw!🩷 if you ever valued his opinion on other topics, trust his opinion of you! ☺️ the idea that bigger girls cannot be attractive is so so so wrong and like I said, complete myth. Beauty is totally subjective. That’s why the “standard” is constantly fluctuating. Plus, everyone has a different preference, whether it’s about eye color or hair color or personality or body type. Im sure he was not only attracted to you for your body OR personality but the whole package. Trust me - I’ve dated a lot of men, all of which found my soft curvy body as incredibly sexy, AND cherished me for my personality. There are PLENTY of bigger girl loving men out there looking for the right girlie to scoop up.🩷🩷🩷
52:07 Story 5: Okay, it doesn't sound like you guys are joking at this point (I had hoped they were). The fact that John and Sean are not horrified and think nothing of the wife turning her *husband* into a common "John" without his consent is very alarming.
OP feels so insulted and degraded that he has gotten to the point of opting to turn down his so-called "reward" from his wife. Some "reward" when it feels more gratifying to turn it down than to accept it!
The fact that the wife runs out crying, when OP rightfully calls her out for her disgusting behaviour, is also telling and shows no sign of remorse or accountability.
I love this podcast, but lately it seems like Josh is the only delivering fair, rational takes without being so heavily skewed in favour of the woman
Edit: Good on the wife for coming around. I figured this might be a kink of hers. But, again it has to be CONSENSUAL. You can't establish consent without communication. She wouldn't have even known there was a problem if OP hadn't expressed his frustration over it (ironic because the guys keep calling him uncommunicative when it is the wife that failed to be so).
He could've definitely tried talking calmly before escalating, I agree. But even then, expressing anger and frustration is *not* automatically abusive. OP still expressed his outrage and feelings without going to the extreme.
Edit 2: 69 (sex better freaking transformational and mindblowing if it's going to be used as a "reward" though.
I feel the last story wasnt broken down properly for them. Because i don't think theyd be okay if their wives suddenly didnt let them touch them at all unless they did a chore. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they just had the point of the situation SAIL over their heads.
I had a tough time following it.
yeah i dont think theyre considering the long term effects lol
Last story the views on it were maaad. Imagine the roles reversed and the guy only gave sex as a reward to his wife.
Why does your happy birthday song sound like a funeral march 😂
It was cute but so painful 😅
"Josh will edit it" 😂 lmaoo I don't even think that could've saved it
On the salt story his reaction was insane but the difference between a tablespoon and teaspoon is pretty big. It would likely be more than a little salty depending on size of the dish. However that is no justification for that response! Just wanted to clear the measurement thing up.
The easy fix to that is to double the pasta (just boil some and mix it in) and some cream, lemon, and parsley. There was no reason to toss it when there's a simple solution; he either did it to be mean/teach her a "lesson" or because HE was too emotional
It depends imo. If you do the "heaping" or "flattened out the top" kind of measuring if you use actual spoons.
1 tablespoon is 3 teaspoons. With the 1st one "heaping", yeah it's a bigger difference.
But if you brush off the extra "little mountain" (not sure how to explain it, English isn't my native language), then it's not that big of a difference.
Saltier yes, but not outrageous. It's also a casserole.
Story 5: I think you boys tried to see it from ops perspective as much as you could, but Josh brought up the correct point. If all of a sudden you didn't ever have sex unless you did your chores, there's no way that would be as 'cool' as yall are making it out to be. What if you're tired or don't have time for both? Then no sex.
Also, imagine if this story was the other way around. The husband only does house chores if his wife has the house/dishes clean when he gets home. You'd rip him to shreds. Using sex only as reward takes the purpose of it away. It should exist outside of chores and responsibilities. Obviously they are connected, but she had been explicitly saying that the reward of sex was only due to him completing chores every time they had sex.
I am confident if yall were in his shoes it would also start to feel empty, regardless of what you're thinking it sounds like now.
And the worst part is, it wasn’t even just his chores. It was her chores. You would basically have to go above and beyond to get something that was pretty standard in their relationship beforehand from the sounds of it.
For the salty man story. I personally feel like he was looking for an excuse to rag on the meal because she messed up the food schedule. The schedule seems too important to him for a spur of the moment change. Like he said, he wants an almost 2 weeks advance notice to know to make a change in the meal plan. So he found something that "ruined" the meal. 2 extra teaspoons shouldn't make anything as salty as a pickle. Add some pepper and balance that shit out. He didn't even try that. He just trashed the meal without attempting to save it to make a point as to why you stay on the designated meal plan. I feel terrible for that wife.
I really connect with the first story…. My father got married to a women and I became the scape goat and laughing stock of the house at 13. I got sent to live with some cousins but the cousins couldn’t afford to keep me since my dad said he would pay for my expenses (never did) and kept coming over blasted drunk anything him and his wife fought, which was constantly.
Then got sent to my drug attic mothers for a couple years fending for myself and taking care my new born little sisters with men constantly revolving in and out.
Then met a boyfriend in high school and moved in with his family during a summer, bad idea. Lots of mental, sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.
Broke up with him and got myself into a foster home at 17.
Moved out after graduation at 18 into my own apartment by myself.
I’m now 22 and it feels unreal to look back at.
Story 2, my boyfriend raised his niece until she was six, he was essentially her daddy but there were no papers giving him custody. The "legal guardians" (grandparents) realized they couldn't have anymore kids so they took her back. He had no rights.
Hopefully, because the 15 year old has a closer familial line and is old enough to fully get her point across, the court will let her choose. Unfortunately, I rarely see justice take the side that's best for the child.
With the dishwasher story it could also be that when she loads, he unloads and vice versa, so she loads correctly and the stuff comes out clean, but with all the gunk he leaves on it she has to unload dirty dishes.
Everyone sucks in story 4.
Don't throw away stuff you actually use, it's overall stupidity
Hey, Sean and John! I’m 5’5” and medically considered obese too. However, when you take into account my actual body fat percentage (which is how they *should* be doing it), I’m in the normal range. I have very broad shoulders and a muscular build. If I were to get down to the weight most “doctors” would want me at to no longer be considered obese, my body fat percentage would be so low I would lose my period. Long story short: most doctors using BMI suck and please take your build and muscle mass into consideration ❤️
i honestly cannot believe how much john and sean doubled down on their opinions of the last story this is probably the most icked out listening to their responses on stories
Agreed. Their reactions were really unsettling with that story
They're just caught up in thinking about how they'd be fine with the kink. But the problem is that it's not about them, it's about OP. Reverse the genders and I'm sure a lot of people might disapprove of a woman being rewarded/punished by a man like that. Yet some women love the kink of "daddy called me a good girl and rewarded me with something special when I did good teehee."
Also, part of them not seeing anything wrong with their response is that so often men are the scum of the earth in reddit stories concerning sex, so when a woman is benefitting from a man working for her affections, it can seem like a positive thing. But just goes to show that simply reversing a situation doesn't simply make it "okay". A lot of people have that false assumption across a lot of different topics. It's easy to fall into that trap, and it's something that we always need to be aware of.
Yeah I was hoping others felt this way because they turned into such bro dudes who heard the word "sex" and failed to see any nuance or have empathy. Definitely icky
IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE
57:43 they were both adults doing their share of the chores. the wife at 7 years started asking for him to do her chores in exchange for sex. and then they started only having sex when he did her chores.
Im sorry but Sean and John's response to the last story is *insane* Why on earth would it be on him to figure out why his wife is suddenly treating him like a dog? Why wouldn't he be upset by being reduced to the dopey sitcom dad who only does stuff because of sex? It makes me sad about the state of their relationships.
I agree, their takes on this story were really sad.
Fr they should apologize for that
Yeah lol it makes me feel like sex is not frequent in their relationships bc they were so blindly excited about that concept and could not grasp why it would be a problem "because he's getting laid!!!!!"
I jokingly try to bribe my bf with sex sometimes ("😏😏 I'll give u a bj if u let me hang my wind chimes outside 😛" [he thinks they're annoying lmao]) and he's always like "aint gonna work on me, woman! I get it all the time 😌💁♂️" 😂 sex has no negotiating power between us and that's a good thing
Oof, that wife made sex transactional by only using it as a reward. That's a slippery slope. Imagine if the genders were reversed, people would be so upset if he was the one using sex as a reward for doing housework. She needs to sit down and have a talk with him.
Thats exactly what I was thinking! I feel like the guys would be way more upset if the genders were reversed. Either way it’s not ok for sex to be transactional in a relationship. Especially if it’s used as a punishment as well which I think the guys glossed over in this discussion
Story 2 - he literally talks about her like she’s a child
Story 3: big girl here! I used to have this same issue. It honestly took one guy snapping me out of it, and this guy seems like the most amazing person to do that for her. The way he communicated to Reddit is exactly the way he should communicate it to her. It gave me chills just to hear it read, i could only imagine hearing it directly from my partner
often its not just the dishwasher, it also depends on how you load it and some tabs are just awful
Truthfully, not fun being the person who can't gain weight. There are a lot of health problems surrounding that, it's hard to find clothes that don't make you look like you're drowning in them, and skinny people get bullied about their weight, too. I've heard more than my fair share of "get that kid a sandwich" jokes, had people assume that I have cancer when I struggled to keep weight on, etc.
Both sides have their challenges, this is a "the grass is always greener" scenario.
Same and I guess I understand why people might get annoyed if I complained about not being able to gain weight, but I've been bony my whole life and I really hate being so skinny. I've managed to gain enough weight to be "filled out" but eating that much made me feel sick and I gave up and dropped back to my baseline. I live in an area that really appreciates curvy women, so still having the body of a teenager in my 30s makes me self conscious and I get snarky comments about it sometimes. Plus, if there's ever a severe food shortage I'll be the first to starve to death 🫠
@@k3upikachu i kinda went through the same thing. Im 4'11, 140lbs and a whopping 34 years old but from like the age of 14 until i was 32 i only weighed 110lbs so im glad i could put on some weight but i still get "jokes" which are really backhanded compliments or straight up snarky or rude comments about how i look like a teenager still the worst one being, "hey, youre a pedos dream woman" it still makes me disgusted to think about that so called "joke"! But i do a lot of self deprecating humor about my height and looks but at my own expense and usually take most jokes well but those ones get to me.
With the story about the dishes, she should have put all of the dirty dishes back into the sink and forced him to hand wash every single one of them. I don't blame her for throwing everything away, I have done something similar. But him having to hand wash everything a few times will get him to understand the real issue.
Story 1: I was an extremely difficult teen, I had severe mental health issues that I refused to handle. When my family and I needed a BREAK, I'd go to my aunt's for a week. Not once did I get abandoned. She just uses her daughter being "difficult" as an excuse for her shit behavior😂
(I was also never forced to go, it was used as a safe space for me when things were tough at home, I was always asked if I wanted to go and have a break, never told to go)
story 1- the daughter can get emancipated from her mom and (i’m not 100% sure) be under the legal custody of her grandparents until she’s 18
Nah, one tablespoon of salt is crazy, that's beyond repair and inedible
21:16 one time I accidentally added WAY too much salt when cooking lunch to the point that you can taste nothing but salt but you know what my husband did? He ate his whole plate and told me it's delicious (I knew he was lying) 3 years later he tell me oh yeah it tasted horrible but you worked hard on it
Story 2..
I just did this exact same thing the other day. I accidentally added a tablespoon of salt instead of half a teaspoon to my cookies, that I've made a hundred times. I tried getting most of it out, mixed it.. and it was still way too salty. So I dumped it out and started over. My boyfriend wasn't pissed at me for throwing away food and starting over, because hes not a ridiculous person.. and he also didn't want salty chocolate chip cookies 😂
Related to the husband calling his wife too emotional while cooking: I was once at a cabin with about 10 friends. One other friend and I were making everyone dinner (a chicken broccoli casserole). The recipe called for flour, but we didn't have any and were very far from the store. I suggested we use some of the pancake mix, not thinking about the sugar in the mix. When I tell you they each are their portion of this weird chicken pancake broccoli thing, I still can't believe it. We all knew it was nasty and they were so loving about it anyway, and we laugh on it now. So yes that husband sucks big time!!
Lol the birthday song!🤣🤣🤣
Honestly john and sean not seeing the issue with the guy not wanting to have transactional sex is so gross
PRO TIP ON DISHWASHERS: dishwash pods are a scam. They are charging you way more for doing less. The pods try to include a pre-wash, but obviously that's never gonna work since that part of the pod can't come out first. Use liquid or powder detergent. Fill the dispenser AND put some in the prewash spot or bottom of the door. Your dishes will be cleaner and you'll save lots of money!
Also - if you do it this way there's no need to rinse the dishes first. Just scrape any chunks into the trash (there are a few exceptions - I will rinse for extra sticky stuff like oatmeal or rice).
you guys. the last story gave me a whole new perspective on my own relationship. my fiance is demisexual and hes a sheriffs deputy. he works five days in a row doing 12hrs. i have trauma related to cleaning and shit from my childhood. we've been trying to work through all that. hearing that his wife wanted to have sex with him when he did things for her, just made me see that that is something my fiance has needed but never voiced it that way to me. he could care less if we ever have sex. i however, am like sean and john. this story made me think back about some of the things ive noticed about my fiance. i noticed that when i had taken care of him in a way in the past hes been more affectionate. and one night he thought i had laid his pajamas out, but i didnt it was just a shirt i had forgotten to put away. and he was sad about it in a joking way, but now i realize it probably was a genuine let down. thank you.
I have very strong opinions on pre-washing all dishes before putting them in the dish washer. Even if it's food/crumbs/sauce that will easily come off, then you just have dirty food water hitting all your dishes. That weird gross smell that some dishwashers have? You should also clean the dishwasher itself every once in a while.
As an analogy, imagine puke on a blanket and Not pre-washing the blanket but throwing it in the clothes washing machine with normal dirty clothes. That would be disgusting.
For the smell try adding distilled white vinegar. I only noticed that smell while renting for school and vinegar helped. Just throw in a cup full right before running the washer
Okay, so the thing about the last story is that it’s very much entering into BDSM territory with power differentials. I think with any new power dynamic in a relationship you NEED to discuss parameters beforehand. Especially the whole reward/punishment stuff- if someone isn’t clued in it can easily start to become abusive or coercive. You can’t really just subtly work it in like the wife was trying to do. It does sound like they worked it out with their communication by the end of it. But Y’ALL. It’s not weird or corny to ASK your partner if you want to do those kinds of kink dynamics because establishing those parameters and boundaries will save you and your partner(s) from feeling uncomfortable or weird about what’s happening.
96 😂 I definitely would not want to be rewarded with sex!
Part of me is wondering if OP in the dishwasher story needs to check their eye prescription if they aren't noticing how dirty these dishes are. I have family with really bad vision and sometimes if they put away the dishes they will completely fail to notice if a dish is still dirty. Besides that, just rinse your dishes and maybe consider the dishsoap your'e using in the dishwasher, man.
As always ✨communication✨ for the win 😂
For the cooking dinner story:
My husband and I have a "5-minute rule" for when I make dinner. I almost never cook because it stresses me out. When I do, he has full permission to LIE. Or, if he doesn't want to lie, he can say "wow sweetheart, thanks so much for dinner" and just appreciating the effort.
After 5 minutes (estimate, it's not like we have a timer or anything), I need him to tell me the truth or I'll 100% make it again in the future. Lol.
On story 5 (a woman's perspective I guess) there absolutely is something wrong with it, even if it's just once in a while, if both parties aren't into it. The fact that she started doing it without discussing it is problematic to me. She should have communicated her needs if the issue was him putting in more effort. I did immediately wonder if she wanted to try a kind of power dynamic, having the authority to decide when he "deserves" sex. Wanting to include different dynamics in your sex life is something to do together, it shouldn't be one sided. I'm surprised you guys didn't find it unproblematic. I would feel so shitty if my partner used sex like parents use screen-time when disciplining their kids.
Story 1 is a lot like mine so i have a bias in favor of the 10yo either way. Im 99% sure that this was a christian family where husband is higher priority than children, biblically. So the kids are assumed the problem, not the husband. This mom would have absolutely looked the other way in dv/sa situations.
If you threw my food in the trash and ordered a pizza, I’d break up with you immediately. That intentional gesture is extremely rude and disrespectful… way more than accidentally putting in too much salt. Get your head out of the gutter.
Story 4: The guys and redditers are giving the wife a lot of grace because she warned OP. But, it's still unreasonable and wasteful to throw the dishes in the trash. If wife was so adamant to give them away (still a stupid response), wash them effectively and donate them.
OR what John(?) said. MAKE HIM WASH THEM PROPERLY. He learns to clean better, no waste. Win win.
The fact that there are a lot of perfectly fine alternatives to * stupidly f*cking throwing perfectly good dishware in the TRASH* tells me that the wife is being immature and just throwing an OTT tantrum.
OP sucks for being dismissive, but wife also sucks for being really petty and retaliating in a very stupid way.
To settle the dishwasher argument, check and clean your filter. If you think your filter is grody, then you are putting too dirty of dishes in there.
That settles the argument specifically dealing with your own dishwasher and everything else.
My petty ass would serve him a beautiful delicious dinner, his favorite... on the dirty ass plates fresh from the dishwasher. Banana goo and all.
'What? They are totally clean, babe. I just got them out of the dishwasher. They are still hot from the sanitize cycle. What are you talking about?'
You guys are so perfectly in sync and on key with your birthday song 🥰
I wish I could gain weight. But my weight is literally "dying". Lol.
no way does being emotional affect ur cooking. she MISREAD the recipe, wtf 💀💀 that guy seems incredibly misogynistic, id bet he'd call his wife hysterical for being upset at something bad he did
“Different cleaning standards” in regard to dishes is a weird take. Dishes are clean OR they aren’t. If your standard for “clean” dishes is lower, you use them.
Happy birthday Tita! Also John has a lovely voice! And yall all sound good harmonising together! This is my favourite podcast ever 🖤
Never had a dishwasher in my life, but yo those sound like a waste of time, money and water.
Had to be reminded of whether the couple in Story 4 were married or not cause it'd make a big difference based on whose dishes they were. OP needs to acknowledge that he wasn't getting the job done as per the dish-washing agreement. But OP's partner is dumb for throwing out her/their own dishes. Unless she's hoarding a couple for herself, she's gonna have to eat off the bare table with her hands soon. If she's got her own, then OP should have his own too, everyone manages their own dish collection, the end. The partner no longer has to deal with OP's sloppy work, and OP has to deal with eating off his dirty work. OP's ignorantly incompetent, but throwing away property for no reason is the bigger crime here. God forbid he does a shoddy job at washing the car.
Normally, I love this podcast, but the last story was pretty infuriating. They are not understanding it like at.
For seven years they have been pulling their own weight of chores. Then all of a sudden, if he does something a little extra, he gets sex. After a little bit of time the only time they would have sex is when he was going above and beyond. Basically paying for the sex with services. And if he didn’t go above and beyond, they would not be intimate.
She made it completely transactional, and he even made it sound like it was more than just sex too. Other intimacy was basically now behind a paywall.
But they basically refused to like understand what was happening in the story.
Story 4 is weird. Why is the dishwasher failing so bad?
Absolutely terrible take on the last story, very disappointed. Two hot takes did this like a month ago too, I thought you guys were better than that
Anyone else looking for the '69'- comment from Sean? 😂
I work in tech & can confirm that the straight vertical line on the keyboard is indeed called a pipe, lol. 😁
I thought a wall score was for showing absolute values for math. Like |4| can mean -4 or +4. What else is it used for???
Research shows using a dish washer is both more sanitary and uses less water. Don’t waste your time rinsing.
Don't rinse the dish before put them in the dishwasher! It waste so much water! Just remove the food crumbs
Ok....
#1 budget...
Idk what this family's budget is , so idk if asking for the week prior for meal change is normal or not. But it seems reasonable. Do shopping on weekend, already have meals for entire week planned/prepped... to change it on the day of... I could see there being an issue.
#2 spitting the food out.... I have done this only 2x in my entire life. Both times were because of over salting.
My wife spat out her first bite of a meal I made for the same reason. Too much salt kills a dish.
So from.what is heard from this short, I'd say no AH here.
Happy birthday to John's mom! 13
I’ve made it to the end but I think my ears are still bleeding from the Happy Birthday song 😂
As always, love your individual takes on each story. Great job, guys
Laughed my ass off with this episode not everyone is going to agree with your opinion but they are your opinions
It’s nice to see your fun kinky takes on the stories
I also agree 😊with
Josh singing normally while Chougyn and Gyougn and giving Fred and George Weasly vibes.
Same thoughts😂
15:48 let me tell you about when my grandpa and I "banned" my mom (his daughter) from seasoning the food (before she moved out to live with her bf).
We made french fries and... some sort of steak.
Mom salted the fries, and when I tell you that there was no, and I mean NO taste of potatoe, I'm 100% serious.
Sometimes, I've found stuff on cleaned dishes that was from other dishes in the dishwasher.
Example.
I had a tuna salad, I ate it in a small bowl, didn't rinse it before I started the dishwasher.
I always open it and let it air dry when it's done, it's an ocd of mine I can't stand wet dishes and I haven't found good towels yet 😂
Anyway, so I pick up a regular dinner plate and as I'm about to put it away, I feel something on the underside.
Lo and behold, some dried tuna.
Rinsing the dishes is said to "prolong the life" of your dishwasher.
The first story, usually by like age 12 or 13 can decide where they live and yeah it also depends on if she provides support, monetary or otherwise, whether she visited or took care of her(which she didnt at all) so yeah a lot of judges would laugh her out of the room. Sadly, my sister got her daughter(my niece) taken away from her when she was 5 and now theyre forcing her to pay child support(her sperm donor is a creep, tried making my sister ask me for nudes for his bday and lives with his birth giver and has a higher paying job and side business as a photographer and barely takes care of her my sister sends her everything she needs, calls and texts her, plays their switches together, ect.) And she turned 13 july 10th so she gets to decide where she wants to live hopefully soon and shes always said she wants to be with us her mom, her grandpa and her favorite auntie(apparently im the cool aunt with the awesome friends who ive chosen as my family and they absolutely adore her and are very protective over her as well as all three of us) so yeah, the birth giver in the first story is mental and has no chance getting her daughter back and frankly doesnt deserve her!! Sorry for the long ass comment but i love you guys so much keep up the great work brofessors!!!
P.s the piece of garbage in the second story would be in the trash(well trash bags to be more exact) along with the food he wasted over a simple mistake!!
Gosh guys...stop singing. 😂😂😅😅😅😅
The 5th story is like the cat story from the last video 😅. From the story I understand that the op have set only as a reward and there is no spontaneous action. So ... I am with Josh again. Boys what's going on with you😅?
last story: wife clearly has a really unhealthy relationship with sex if her body was payment for doing basic chores
Also hot take but imo its ridiculous how much athletes get paid but our miltary members all branches, teachers, unions ect dont get the same respect idk but sometimes i wish i could just move out of america to italy or japan or something and faking an accent or something haha this place straight up sucks ass sometimes haha.
22:00. This guy is treating the scenario as if he's Head Chef at a culinary school, and his wife is a first-timer. Had it been me, he'd have been wearing the rest of the dish.
I have to say the second story sounds like op could be on the autism spectrum with routine and if a tablespoon of salt made it to salty for him that might mean that is sense of taste is a lot more heightened due to autism because I have autism I have my routines and all my senses are quite so I'm very sensitive sound smell taste so a dish like that yeah outsides ruined myself not to mention I have been told many times that I have no filter meaning I'm extremely Blunt like op was
Story 2 guy doesn't love his wife
I need a cookbook with all of their faces on it, dressed up as chefs
The Happy birthday song made my heart so full 🥰🥰🥰🥰
I can see why the guy wouldn't enjoy the transactional sex but I'm confused why he is assuming she got it from somewhere or someone? He should have simply said "I don't enjoy this" not "where did you learn this!"
Because they've neev together for years and suddenly she changed up, of course she "got it somewhere", she didn't even communicate to him it was her idea/kink/whatever. Crazy to nitpick on his question when she was the one who failed to communicate in the first place.
69, 19, happy birthday tita!
This is a reminder to myself that I need a wiki bday song in July 😂😂
Sorry but story 4 (throwing away the plates) to be fair to her, she did tell him exactly what she would do AFTER what it seems has been multiple conversations. So I say not the a-hole given that she put in a clear boundary and consequences for that boundary being broken. Why ask him to clean them again when it clearly feels she has to nag to get something done. She's a wife, not his mother and shouldn't be made to feel like she has to pick up after him.
I'm on her side, I would have done the same thing.
13
13 if I heard right 😂
I rinse dishes depending on what was eaten. Like cheese needs to get rinsed cause it sticks to the dishes and might get backed onto the dish during the drying cycle.
Promo'SM
Hey all!
STORY 1: HOT TAKE(an actual one unlike the THT podcast)
Personally, I think agree with the guys or anyone else who insists that parents should divorce if their kids don't want to accept their union or any kind of change simply for their convenience.
That being said, OP and Mike still have a duty to set the precedent to be considerate toward their kids and do everything in their power to ensure their wellbeing and gradually integrate the household into a single family unit.
Let's say Mike didn't suck and was a perfectly good guy (along with OP). OP should've sat down Stephanie and let her know:
1. You are valid in your feelings of not liking our new situation and I am not going to dismiss them. However, that is still no excuse for you to treat me, Mike, and the other kids poorly.
2 Just as I wouldn't want you to give up your partner for me if I didn't like him for some arbitrary reason, you shouldn't have that same expectation of me.
3. We've done everything we could on our end and Mike tried his hardest to make things work with you (again, if he didn't suck), but you are unwilling to accept it. And the tension is making taking a toll on their wellbeing of our household.
4. So I am going to present you with another solution. I am bringing up the idea of you living with your grandparents for while.
5. I want to make it very clear I am *not* abandoning you and letting you decide. If you go, it will be chance for you, as well as everyone, to have some space and decompress.
I will give you however long you need and will regularly check up on you to see how you are doing. If you decide not to do it now and change your mind later, just let me know and I will arrange it.
6. HOWEVER, if you decide to not do that and continue staying here, you need to meet us halfway and do your best to cooperate. This will only work if we all work together to create a civil, if not harmonious, household.
Mike and OP aren't assholes for being in love and staying together, Mike is the asshole because he made a very bad, unreasonable ultimatum. OP is the asshole for not communicating well with Stephanie or her parents (sounds like they were blindsided as well) and trying to force Stephanie to move back in with them.
BTW, "divorce" is actually THE hot take, almost nobody in real life does it in situations like this.
Story #3 is SO relatable, from the gf’s perspective.💔🫶🏽