I so wish that this was true. Unfortunately I know of a woman that while visiting your house will take any chance to sneak off just to look for and steal people's used sex toys. I was warned by a friend of mine, but also had a group conversation in which she interrupted us to show off her pleasure treasures. I REALLY wish it wasn't, but it lives rent free in my head now.😂
@@VeryMuchSaabI think the point of this video was that other PC rig companies will send rigs out in boxes that loudly display "EXPENSIVE DEVICE WITHIN" in the form of the imagery
There was a belgian bicycle company that kept having issues of their packages not being handled with care because most people assumed it was a boxed up bicycle, it could handle a little banging around. Their solution was to make their packaging look like it contained a large flat screen tv and it actually reduced the number of bicycles that were damaged in shipment.
No, being a porch pirate is more of a shopping spree for entitled b**ck people. Just like you are not actively keeping up with your local store's packaging options, they are not doing too much planning, they just go for a family afternoon ride to teach their kids how it's ok to steal from the evil oppressors.
Even better, make up a grass seed company and make it really obvious that it's grass seed inside. Bulk grass seed has to be the least desirable thing to a porch pirate. Pots and pans might get stolen because kitchen ware is always useful. Step ladders, maybe. But, bulk grass seed is such an obscure product that very few people would ever want, most of which would already have it, and anybody who'd steal somebody else's packages wouldn't be concerned enough about their lawns to steal grass seed.
@irhtirht good point, but go ahead and Google "Zach's Calibration Weights" and see what you get. Max price NEW I see is 322$ and who wants a hunk of metal.
Allow me to introduce you to the story of why the USA doesn't use the metric system. The delivery of the standard weights was intercepted by Pirates...
I've had multiple signature deliveries get dropped off on my porch when no one was home anyway. I'm glad this company is making an effort to make the packages look less enticing.
@HimanXK yeah not sure what was going on with that. Working for UPS that would end with a write up, and possibly termination. If nobody is home we try again the next day.
Some taxidermy stuff sells for alot of money. So if a person is knowledgeable they would take a gamble. But the slogan is top notch. Now I need to learn taxidermy so I can steal it lmao
*Zach Tracker: GPS tracking for safe delivery.* Not only is it a fake name, but it specifically discourages porch pirates by making them think its being tracked.
People, the Zach Tracker implies your package is being tracked incase someone tries to steal it. Not that you're literally getting a tracker the size of a computer..
Exactly. I made a comment about how I use to steal packages (I was a heroin addict) and my thought process would be "that's an awfully large unmarked box, I wonder what it could be" I would have been more likely to steal it in the double box than the regular box
Recently a crackhead broke into my old car and cut the car phone hookup out. Not the car phone itself, I don’t have one of those. They took the connector. It’s a 40$ part in working order. They cut the wiring. They have a useless piece of Mercedes branded plastic that they broke into a car for.
I mean they have official stickers for it. I guess he could work with the mean delivery company to find a logo that looks real but that trained eye will immediately see it's fake.
If it was a legitimate biohazard, the USPS label will have it listed USPS labels already have hazmat listed on them for items that contain lithium ion batteries
It's like how some mountainbike manufacturers put images of TVs on their boxes. But that's not to stop porch pirates, it's to protect in shipping. People see bike and think it'll be strong and just throw it around in a warehouse, but a TV is known by all to be fragile so they handle it with care instead
You should call it Zach’s Pet Store or Zach’s Pet Supply and put a warning that says venomous snakes or live cockroaches handle with care. Not anything of value, the large size would make sense and both would trigger people to go “ewww gross” or “oh that’s dangerous” and they’ll want nothing to do with it either way.
Something that is an addition/replacement to something specific, like a window switch to an uncommon/worthless car, slide out trays for a fake food dehydrator specifying a model. Etc
“Zach’s Live rodent and roach emporium” nobody is gonna open that box I promise 😂 (you could even put a little “for reptile consumption only” sticker on the side or something along those lines for good measure)
If you guys don’t know, there’s a bike company that disguises their bikes as TVs because the box kept getting destroyed in shipping and this insured that their product was handled correctly. In the same spirit altering the box has big impact
Yeah, I thought about that too. Nobody is going to be careful with pots and pans. And today everyone is narcissistic and gets a fishtank so they can show off.. 🙄
As a man who does scrap metal stuff. This would not work. Because to many people would steal it thinking it would be scrap metal. It's already a stereotype for crack addicts to steal copper out of walls
As am Amazon driver I know that people will steal anything without looking at what the box says. I've had customers loose incontinence pads even when the box clearly says that on it. Nothing would detour these people and it ruins delivery drivers life's for getting the blame
That is true. One of the pet (specifically spiders) youtubers I follow that had her package (a spider) stolen. Only for said porch pirate to have the audacity complain that there is a giant spider loose in their home and demand the youtuber do something about it. Luckily the spider was unharmed.
Made me remember how an online bike store was receiving complaints of the bikes being received damaged by shipping, so they made the box look like a TV Box and it made everything better
Please leave your company name suggestions
Zach's double boxed boxes
But if porch pirate are subscribed to you
Law By Zach
Zach's boxes
@@script_tag LMAOO
“Live Spiders inside, DO NOT DISTURB” that should solve both problems
Ups probably would decline the package
And even if UPS shipped it, people with apartments might get it stuck at the mail room
@brandonschnacker1854 quite certain the documents that come with the packages tell what's actually in the box
@@brandonschnacker1854
Plus animals get shipped all the time
Krickets crickets live lizard food!
“Zach’s cremations: from our torch to your porch”
Nahhhh what
*_Wtf_* _☠️_
This one
10/10 Don't think anyone can beat that.
Bro thought of a slogan
*_"Zach's Asbestos: Cotton candy blue since 72"_*
Only problem is, porch pirates probably aren't smart enough to know what asbestos is.
Underrated
“Taxidermy’s are us - you pet forever”
This is probably the best one
Just label every box you send out as “Divorce Evidence”
“Zack’s divorce lawyer box”
Imagine neighbours see it or family members who are walking through and tells your S/O
Using this one at my job thanks
☠️
perfect
“Zach’s Used Adult Toys.” Technically correct name.
Yes just yes
ehhh that one might still attract porch pirates
Honestly the best box name that would deter thieves
Used? :D Is that necessary? :D Nobody's gonna touch that even if it's new :D
This was probably the nicest way to put this company.
I would say make a company name written in chinese xD and very awful edited pictures of pans 🤣
"Zachs used sex toys" aint NOBODY wants already used sex toys
We have to repel , not attract
Rather bold of you to assume that nobody is weird enough to want a large box of used adult toys
I so wish that this was true. Unfortunately I know of a woman that while visiting your house will take any chance to sneak off just to look for and steal people's used sex toys. I was warned by a friend of mine, but also had a group conversation in which she interrupted us to show off her pleasure treasures. I REALLY wish it wasn't, but it lives rent free in my head now.😂
It's a good idea to stop it from being stolen, but i don't want to explain to my family and neighbours that it was just a box, and I ordered Pc
Good friend, large electronics such as that go for a pretty penny
"Zack's rapidly expanding foam"
"Filling large spaces since 1995"
That’s good
I love this one
Perfect
Can't fill ur mum though
Handle with care to prevent triggering the foam
You underestimate porch pirates' willingness to steal the most worthless deliveries
Doubt they read the labels either.
@@VeryMuchSaabI think the point of this video was that other PC rig companies will send rigs out in boxes that loudly display "EXPENSIVE DEVICE WITHIN" in the form of the imagery
The pots and pans is a terrible idea, seeing how expensive some can be
some people put their garbage in boxes for porch pirates to steal
@@BoxofMadness counter point:
doing such a thing is then advertising what's inside your *house*
for that specific brand of illegal activity
There was a belgian bicycle company that kept having issues of their packages not being handled with care because most people assumed it was a boxed up bicycle, it could handle a little banging around. Their solution was to make their packaging look like it contained a large flat screen tv and it actually reduced the number of bicycles that were damaged in shipment.
All the porch pirates watching this:
👀📝
No, being a porch pirate is more of a shopping spree for entitled b**ck people. Just like you are not actively keeping up with your local store's packaging options, they are not doing too much planning, they just go for a family afternoon ride to teach their kids how it's ok to steal from the evil oppressors.
Oh no 💀
Even better, make up a grass seed company and make it really obvious that it's grass seed inside. Bulk grass seed has to be the least desirable thing to a porch pirate. Pots and pans might get stolen because kitchen ware is always useful. Step ladders, maybe. But, bulk grass seed is such an obscure product that very few people would ever want, most of which would already have it, and anybody who'd steal somebody else's packages wouldn't be concerned enough about their lawns to steal grass seed.
News to have something about clay pots for the fragile stickers.
Kitchenware can also be really expensive. Some1 goes out of their way to order pans from some boutique company, there's some fancy shit in there......
Grass seed has gotten stupid expensive though.
Dirt distribution company logos
Imagine going to steal a ladder and being met with immeasurable disappointment when finding a high end PC instead
What a disaster!
lol
Zach’s Toilet Paper: “the thinnest in town!”
Zach's fertilizer. "You'll smell the difference before you see it"
"Dave's Diapers: Adult Diapers, Size XXL"
Ain't no one gonna steal that box. 😂😂😂
What if someone is extremely poor, desperate, and his Grandpop's bunbuns oftenly do eject ambushes
@@NXE212 eject ambushes:💀
@@NXE212 then he'll get a jackpot instead xd
I was thinking something similar
@@givinnatanlie4619 but his grandpa would still be shitting, and no he definitely won't sell that pc to solve the problem
"Zach's calibration weights" covers the fact the box is heavy and why it's labeled fragile.
Oooooh I like this one. Too many of these forget to account for the fragility aspect
Aren't calibration weights like super expensive?
@@irhtirhtYeah, and uncommon so pretty hard to resell
@irhtirht good point, but go ahead and Google "Zach's Calibration Weights" and see what you get. Max price NEW I see is 322$ and who wants a hunk of metal.
Allow me to introduce you to the story of why the USA doesn't use the metric system. The delivery of the standard weights was intercepted by Pirates...
Zach's Boxed Boxes.
"Yep, it's boxes. In a box."
I would just put a "Fragile: Glasswear inside" sticker on it. If you make up a fake company someone might be able to search for it
Former UPS worker here. When "I buy power" ships these computers they usually end up being signature deliveries meaning we hand it to the customer.
or just make it read "iBuyProblems"
I've had multiple signature deliveries get dropped off on my porch when no one was home anyway. I'm glad this company is making an effort to make the packages look less enticing.
@HimanXK yeah not sure what was going on with that. Working for UPS that would end with a write up, and possibly termination. If nobody is home we try again the next day.
@@realomegadrumer Salem Techsperts
salem sexperts
@@N0tLuey
"Zach's cremation machines" 😂
I would steal that
I would gladly take it 😅
I'm gonna be so mad if he doesn't put it as that
Lmao 😂
Lmao that made me laugh😂
Zack‘s pet taxidermy. Nobody’s gonna want to take someone’s dead pet that’s been stuffed.
“CREATINE” in bold letters would be hilarious to see when driving by a house
Zach's septic tank solutions since 1923
His one is really good, cause if your neighbors see it they won't think you're deranged lmao
*_Since 1923_* _☠️_
"since nineteen eighty poo"
“Zach’s Taxidermy: you snuff em we stuff em”
😂
Some taxidermy stuff sells for alot of money. So if a person is knowledgeable they would take a gamble.
But the slogan is top notch. Now I need to learn taxidermy so I can steal it lmao
Zachxidermy
You're underestimating porch pirates, Zach. They see a big box, and their brain goes to big money.
Zach’s Vet Clinic and Taxidermy “Either way your gonna get your dog back”
Zach's *Organic Fertilizer*,
made by grass fed cows.
That’s pretty good honestly
I got the same idea 😂 i just posted the same comment
@@hassantanoli9342 I did as well
that's actually good.
this is the best one I’ve read
People would absolutely steal pots, pans and stepladders
That's what some people don't understand. If it's deemed valuable, somebody's gonna take it. It's not a guaranteed thing, but it might happen.😂
Just label them as books 📚 totally safe in urban settlements.
Pretty sure porch pirates will be the ones submitting ideas in order to get their ideas thru and mark the packages as gaming rigs
“Zach’s window frames”
Instructions unclear, I now stole 47 pots and no PCs
Can I have some?
Instruction unclear, arrested for possession of pot
@@zaxi0instructions unclear arrested a pot for possession of me
jokes aside when i worked in security, only time i delt with the thieves they stole 3 pots and a speaker...
Genius engagement idea.
"Zach's Glitter Bombs"
HAHA
_💀_
@@srinivaschilakala216_emojies can be italicized? 💀_
*I wonder if I can bold an emoji💀*
@Blahaj_IKEA HOW ARE YOU DOING ITALICS ON TH-cam
Just put a picture of a plastic strainer on it, that's like dollar store tier stuff nobody would bat an eye at or care about
Zach's attack!
An "explosive" opening!
Zach’s Animal Urines
“For all your hunting needs”
_☠️_
“definitely NOT bees. Shake VIGOROUSLY before opening”
Could swap "bees" with "wasps"
“Live bees” is actually a great idea. What the heck would a porch pirate do with a bunch of bees lol
Or live spiders
Zach's Packs and Slacks: Come grab a pack and we'll give you some slack.
Install mustard gas dispensers, become the agent of chaos
*Zach Tracker: GPS tracking for safe delivery.*
Not only is it a fake name, but it specifically discourages porch pirates by making them think its being tracked.
Depends, some people would steal for the tracker.
You also imply the contents are valuable
that would be wierd a tracker the size of a pc is a bit wierd
People, the Zach Tracker implies your package is being tracked incase someone tries to steal it. Not that you're literally getting a tracker the size of a computer..
Zach’s Bulk Diapers 😂
Zach's discount toilets, the throne you can afford
it might even make sense with the fragile sticker
Slightly used toilets*
“Enriched uranium”
"Zach's henti collection"
Zach’s Cow Mortuary: today’s grief is tomorrow’s beef
Someone might steal it anyway hoping for a great steak.
@@FADGhost70zachs Cow crematorium?
We had our horse cremated and the barrel full of ash was really big and heavy.
Never underestimate what crackheads will steal for money
Pretty much anything (with exceptions)
Exactly. I made a comment about how I use to steal packages (I was a heroin addict) and my thought process would be "that's an awfully large unmarked box, I wonder what it could be" I would have been more likely to steal it in the double box than the regular box
Recently a crackhead broke into my old car and cut the car phone hookup out. Not the car phone itself, I don’t have one of those. They took the connector. It’s a 40$ part in working order. They cut the wiring. They have a useless piece of Mercedes branded plastic that they broke into a car for.
Sign on delivery?
"Zach's undies"
I mean...💀
Zach’s used diapers. “We use them so you don’t have too!”
I would say to slap on a "DANGER: BIOHAZARD" sticker, but I can't imagine the post office being all too impressed
I mean they have official stickers for it. I guess he could work with the mean delivery company to find a logo that looks real but that trained eye will immediately see it's fake.
If it was a legitimate biohazard, the USPS label will have it listed
USPS labels already have hazmat listed on them for items that contain lithium ion batteries
Zach's Used Adult Diaper Emporium
no one will want to steal that
Well now you look bad to the neighbours…
No ones gonna want to have that delivered to their porch either though.
Yeah but, WOULD I NOT..?
There's some weird people out there...
But why would it be fragile and would the drivers be willing to deliver it
Zacks adult toy emporium. thank zack, when you blow out your back
“Zach’s overly highly complicated stuffed glass boxes with a door”
"zachs's sex toys" boom no more porch pirates
well no more porch pirates but this will definitely attract the FBI
@@lord.theus. Why
Well that definitely attracts . not sure about the porch pirates
Yes, but no. "Zach's PREOWNED Sex Toys"
@@lenneng3232 the fbi does get a bit quirky at night
"Zach's Box o' Rocks: It Sure is Heavy"
Best I’ve seen yet
"bro I bet I can lift this I'm so strong- wait a minute"
Zachary's Enlarged Tools for Men😂😂😂😂
Zach's Plumbing Supplies
Playground Sand Inc.
Nobody wants to pull 10 kilos of sand around and try to sell it after.
Zach's pet taxidermy "Best friends that last forever ❤"
Taxidermied animals can be worth a lot of money...
It's like how some mountainbike manufacturers put images of TVs on their boxes. But that's not to stop porch pirates, it's to protect in shipping. People see bike and think it'll be strong and just throw it around in a warehouse, but a TV is known by all to be fragile so they handle it with care instead
Put a radioactive sign on it 😂
Zach’s Ant Nests [FIRE ANTS INSIDE PLEASE OPEN WITH CAUTION]
You should call it Zach’s Pet Store or Zach’s Pet Supply and put a warning that says venomous snakes or live cockroaches handle with care. Not anything of value, the large size would make sense and both would trigger people to go “ewww gross” or “oh that’s dangerous” and they’ll want nothing to do with it either way.
Nah thats to out of the ordinary,
Too niche. Make it look like an Aliexpress order.
YES
"live bees. Do not shake."
Make a box with holes and write "live animals" and "fire ants terrarium" on it
“Zach’s record weights!” It should be self explanatory
"Zach's Cardboard Boxes"
Carl’s snakes, scorpions, and glitter-bombs
Do you order these separately, or can you get all three at once in the same box?
Even better: it's the same unit
@@legoninja0025 I love the thought of all three coming together in one box
Where else am I going to get fancy snakes and scorpions
“Zack’s biohazard waste” 😅
let me go one step further "Zach's Nuclear Waste Disposal"
You under estimate my need for new pots and pans sir 😂
Something that is an addition/replacement to something specific, like a window switch to an uncommon/worthless car, slide out trays for a fake food dehydrator specifying a model. Etc
“Zach’s Live rodent and roach emporium” nobody is gonna open that box I promise 😂 (you could even put a little “for reptile consumption only” sticker on the side or something along those lines for good measure)
This one. This one needs to be at the top
That's perfect
That's pretty smart and would definitely work. Maybe fake tiny breathing holes to drive it home or nah?
The issue here is the extra shipping cost for live animals. And yes, roaches and rats are live animals lol
I'd name it "zachs pest control supplies" and they're going to think it's glass bottles of poison
Porch pirates be memorising every suggestion 😂
Does it matter if it's liter anything with "glass cups" in the name
Porch pirates watching this: Yea boiiiii
Zach's Cryo bank: _"you jack, we pack"_
If you guys don’t know, there’s a bike company that disguises their bikes as TVs because the box kept getting destroyed in shipping and this insured that their product was handled correctly. In the same spirit altering the box has big impact
Yeah, I thought about that too. Nobody is going to be careful with pots and pans. And today everyone is narcissistic and gets a fishtank so they can show off.. 🙄
they went bankrupt last year though 😅
"Zachs aggravated bees" would be pretty good
Randomize between multiple so people don’t catch on to it
"Definitely no bees inside, shake vigorously"
Zach’s turf tech, like you’re lawn care
Fr this sounds good
thats actually a good idea
Somebody get this man top comment
Counter intuitive, people wanna steal lawn care stuff
People steal gardening equipment all the time
Put a logo as “ Recycled trash “
This!!!
The delivery man will play catch with it 😂
@@ShadowGaming07_BGMI that’s where all Zach’s double boxing effort comes in handy.
True
As a man who does scrap metal stuff. This would not work. Because to many people would steal it thinking it would be scrap metal. It's already a stereotype for crack addicts to steal copper out of walls
"Zack's commodities, where you buy the most common commodities"
Zack's Choke and Stroke.
"We supply, you deny."
"Zack's pest control supplies"
They're going to think it's rat poison and stuff
As am Amazon driver I know that people will steal anything without looking at what the box says. I've had customers loose incontinence pads even when the box clearly says that on it. Nothing would detour these people and it ruins delivery drivers life's for getting the blame
That is true. One of the pet (specifically spiders) youtubers I follow that had her package (a spider) stolen. Only for said porch pirate to have the audacity complain that there is a giant spider loose in their home and demand the youtuber do something about it. Luckily the spider was unharmed.
thats a long company name
@@amphiptered.5355 nahh I'd love to find out more info, can you tell me the channel name?
@@amphiptered.5355any way I can get the address? I think I wanna send them some black widows😂😂😂😂😂
@@amphiptered.5355who?.. please tell
But if u have a consistent brand ppl will see it and be like “oh that’s secretly a computer”
Jared’s premium menure, it should still sound like a company you would actually buy something from
Zack's mulch
I feel like this will work every time
With that profile pc i hear it with a disappointed voice
"zacks bulk fertilizer" puts a new meaning on don't steal my shit... Lol
I like this.
Zack's Dry Farts - Caution - Self Ignites when exposed to air.
“Foot fungus cream” ain’t nobody stealing that
Zach’s pre-built, pre-populated ant farms
“Zach’s uranium supply” not sure if the customer would want to take that either
Uranium is actually worth some money, so that would not be good
@@MidnightNeko it’s also extremely radioactive and cardboard is not enough to protect you from it 😂
@@MidnightNeko cancer treatments can get pretty expensive
@@moeabdelraouf7888 which is how you know it's safe to steal.
Zach's slacks and jacks, like car jacks
Zach’s Spider Emporium : We don’t bite!
Zach's pre-cooked roadkill meals
That's the reason I'm in comments section
"Zach's Porch Pirate Deterrents"
Your local porch pirate watching this: 📝 👀
Zach's Live Worms.
Made me remember how an online bike store was receiving complaints of the bikes being received damaged by shipping, so they made the box look like a TV Box and it made everything better
Me:
Ooh, i needed a free pan, why not :3
fr like why not lmao
Bail aint free
Turns Out it was not a pan 😭
Man i realy wanted to cook 🥲
Why is this pan heavy 🤔
Fr
"Zachs sticky bodypillows" or
"Zachs adult movies"