Living with depression | Sharing my experience
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ค. 2024
- In this video I share my experience of living with depression. I share my symptoms as well as possible causes. My goal is to bring awareness to this and so others that are going through something similar don't feel so alone.
Timestamps:
00:00
Causes of my depression - 02:40
Social isolation - 04:10
Symptoms of my depression - 08:14
This helps me feel better - 12:45
Feeling unfulfilled - 13:29
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Disclaimer
I am simply sharing my experience. I am not claiming to treat mental health disorders nor am I certified to do so.
E | cpontifis@gmail.com
#mentalhealth #depression #anxiety
This video was difficult to make, but I hope it helps someone not feel so alone if you are going through something similar. I appreciate the support. 🖤✨
Timestamps:
00:00
Causes of my depression - 02:40
Social isolation - 04:10
Symptoms of my depression - 08:14
This helps me feel better - 12:45
Feeling unfulfilled - 13:29
No share it please share it. Yes. !!! ❤ i feel the same i can sleep until 4pm in my weekends. Nothing right about that.
Small changes!
Thank you for sharing. I'm having a bad day. I have really bad depression and crush anxiety and ptsd. Thanks for just talking.
@TheChularica thank you for watching. I hope these videos help. I will continue to make more videos.
This is exactly how I feel not the same cause but how this depression feels
Thanks for sharing. I’m working on more videos for accountability and so someone that is going through something similar doesn’t feel so alone in this.
We are not alone 😊
🖤✨🫶🏼
Im 67 semi retired nurse, live alone had childhood trauma and spent my whole life suffering from insomnia anxiety and lonliness.
I never married. I live alone and find people exhausting.
Its pure loneliness that has me this low now.
I wont take anti depressants but take sleeping pills.
Like you i have gained 16 lbs which i hate.
Thank you for sharing, i feel you❤️
Thanks for sharing.
Social connection is very important even if it’s with one person at a time.
Going to meetup events helps to make friends. I have definitely experienced that as well but started to make an effort to go out and meet people.
I feel you! I have a membership to a beautiful YMCA, too depressed to go. Would you be able to exercise? I know it would be beneficial. Now let me practice what I preach! Blessings and may we take baby steps!!!!
@margaretwebb389 thank you!
You articulated depression so perfectly. Too many people just can't grasp it which is understandable but frustrating. I've had depression since I was 22 I'm 63 now. In that time it was manageable and I worked & had a life. This past November I slid into a SEVERE depression marked by all your symptoms mentioned in your video. The biggest shocker was the effort it now takes just to shower, brush your teeth, housework, laundry etc. I never experienced that before. I don't sleep well which only adds to the misery. I wanted to thankyou for sharing your story I knew I wasn't alone but you described my symptoms so perfectly I wanted to comment. Mental illness is the cruelest affliction anyone can have. I was recently diagnosed with Lukemia it doesn't get any better than that cancer & depression. Aren't I the lucky one! New sub here....
Thank you for making this video. I am going through this and have experienced so much of what you said. I gained so much weight I feel uncomfortable moving around in my body. Emotional eating, losing purpose, being unable to do simple, laundry, self hygiene...it is truly horrible. Please don't feel bad about being negative or seeming ungrateful because that is a symptom of the disease. I know it all too well. Keep fighting. We need to talk about this more to reduce the stigma and support each other.
Thanks for sharing.
In regards to moving when I don’t want to this has helped me:
I think about how uncomfortable I feel with gaining weight and that gives me some desire to get up and workout even if it’s not workouts like before.
I will be sharing more videos and hope they help.
Thanks for watching.
Ive lived with it my entire life, but the problem with depression is that many people dont consider it to be serious. My entire life Ive heard toughen it up , or it will pass. I also get your just lazy.. Thankyou for sharing your story
Or the say “think positive”. It makes you feel more alone when someone doesn’t understand. Thanks for the support.
@@ProgressWithChristina no thankyou!!!!
If I were you I would get your blood work done too. I’ve had depression/anxiety for many many years off and on but just found out I have a thyroid autoimmune disease. Emotional stress can cause autoimmune diseases to start up and flare. I’ve been depressed lately due to getting broken up with, alone, and getting priced out of my home state because hoards of people from higher paying states moving here. Lived here my entire life. My job is also blessing but it requires me to travel a lot and I go back and forth on wanting to quit despite the good health and retirement benefits because I think it contributes to my anxiety/depression. I enjoyed the honest reflection in your video!
Thanks for sharing. And I did get my blood work checked recently. A lot of my anxiety/depression stems from lack of purpose/feeling stuck along with the corporate job. I am aware only I can change my situation. I share so someone going through something similar doesn’t feel alone in it.
You summed it up pretty well. WFH is a double edged sword, I really like it but i really hate it. During the day I almost always have to have a podcast, youtube, music something playing to give me the sense of I am not alone. Now I like being alone, I am an Introvert with Extrovert tenancies. I drop into a gathering and I know when to dip and retreat as I spend my willpower points.
We are social creatures whether introverts or extroverts. WFM is definitely a double edge sword.
Depression is sooo real. Thanks for keeping it real for us, tell the people what it's like!
Thank you. It’s been so difficult. 😞
I have paranoid schizophrenia it has been hard I was just realeased from a psychiatric hospital for 16 days I need it my mental health is getting better now I had the coronavirus three times thank for sharing your life with us thank you you are very beautiful and you are worthy and you are loved I know what you are going through I was suicidal but now I am not now.👍😻🌹😍🌹
Every word you said is so true and I feel so represented by it, just the fact that we want to sleep so we can escape this mess, if I were to explain how I feel right now or what it's been happening to me I would express myself in the exact same way, I am speechless. It is as if I was watching a woman version of myself with the exact same thoughts and expressions. Of course our background is different, I am just 23 years old but I had to work a job that I was grateful for but that made me feel so anxious, I quit, now I don't even have money to pay the rent and I have to go back, my family needs me and here I am, feeling like shit because I am doing nothing, I don't want to do anything, I don't know where to go or what to do, and everything is so difficult, but at the same time, I can appreciate all the things in life, life is ceirtainly beutiful and it is not life's fault or us as individuals, it is how the human world works, I don't think we are suppose to work on those jobs that consume our lifes and souls, but it's what we have to do nowadays to survive. Something crazier is that I even thought I want to go to jail or just kill myself because I feel like a failure, I haven't even studied anything. I don't know. Adult life is cahotic and I guess we have to learn how to deal with it and grow. If you happen to read this, I just want you to know that you are not alone and that deep within my sould if I could I would give you a hug and tell you that everything is fine and that everything will be okay, you seem like a really strong woman and just posting this video shows us how hard you are trying to face your depression, from really far in other part of the word, maybe another planet I wish you the best and I wish your depression go away, and that you can live a calm and happy life. Also, I apologize about my English, it's not my first language 💙
Thank you for sharing. I just keep telling myself it’s not my forever and only I can change my life. Stay strong. 🖤✨
Dysthymia sufferer here. When I'm depressed, I sleep a lot. I've learned to accept it. Now I say to myself, sleeping is OK.
😔💔
I’ve learned to live with it over time. It has become my friend. But it tells me to do things like self-isolate. Which I will eventually do anyway, because my social battery gets run out very easily. Depression tricks you into thinking like a monster, when you are simply human. I’m both thankful and sad that I have depression because while it does make me feel lethargic and sad, it lets me see who are the people who truly care about me. Lol. It has become my personality.
Thanks for sharing.
Thinking like a monster how so?
Yes you are speaking reality depression is evil. You are 100% right
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing this. I haven't finished the video yet but will shortly just wanted to commend you for making this video, this subject isn't easy. Im in the same boat, trying not to resort to Prozac again which is my crutch and I hate it. Walking 10+ miles a day is helping but not everyone has the time and freedom to do that. I have school age kids and am a part timer trainer so Im fortunate to have the time. I hope you're in a better place now a month after this video came out
Movement is great.
And so you enjoy being a part time trainer?
And so far haven’t figured it out but staying hopeful.
Exercise and being out doors is very important.
Yes being outdoors helps a lot
“No ones going to save you” I feel guilty about this but I often feel intense anger at the people around me for not helping. How could they not help more? Does anyone even notice? Taking full accountability is my first step in pulling myself out of this god awful depression.
There’s only so much others can do. Ultimately we are the ones that make big changes.
Follow your head. There is a job out there for you that won’t burn u out like a corporate job.. I read “Do what you”. Really helped me focus my skills on the best job for me. You are trying which is great. The more I talk to people the more I find out that a lot of people have similar challenges. I love Trevor Noah’s video on his depression and ADHD. 30 seconds but it says so much. For me a routine, a lot of exercise, sleep, good food, helping people, engaging with people help keep me level. Getting help is important but I think as hard as it can be sometimes, we are own doctors who know what can help. Thank you for sharing your video.
Thanks for sharing. I just felt myself deteriorating the more I have gotten into corporate. 😣
I get what you saying. Just find out I have severe episodes of major depression disorder and severe anxiety disorder and I feel suck all day every day. However I push through the best I can.
Thanks for sharing.
It’s definitely challenging especially when I feel like I’m falling behind in life.
It's no fun being depressed. I had a severe mental breakdown when I was studying a lot of heavy math and science. I needed medication and I still do. This world is challenging like never before in human history. We need to be good to ourselves and give ourselves grace when the world won't grant us grace. We need the Friend who sticks closer than a brother. He is Jesus and He promises to never leave or forsake you. I am an introvert too, however we need others. I am so sorry for what you are going through because I remember some very difficult times. Sometimes we just need to be understood, because sometimes we don't understand ourselves. We need to know that we are special and our Maker loves you and cares about you when no one seems to care for you. You are loved. In the midst of our failures, we still are loved.❤ No that. Talk to Him. He knew you before you were born and He created you to have a future and a life of hope.
Or overthinking
Thank you for sharing. I had to go on leave from work because I felt so burn out and now I feel depressed. I have debilitating anxiety disorder only God and my family give me the strength to keep fighting each day.
Work plays a huge role and working these unfulfilling jobs have definitely played a huge role in my depression.
One day at a time.
I'm introverted and I have the same feelings as you in terms of social isolation. I have been picking up new hobbies and finding events for those in the Dallas area but I'm new to the area as well. Talking about a new career. I think in America we are experiencing a meaning crisis. I used to make 5-6k every two weeks at the age of 26 but I became so depressed I could not even get out of bed. Made the decision to go back to college and I only have 1 more class before I'm applying for nursing school, and I want to become a psychiatrist in the end. For me having a career that has value and worth is more important than financial gain. It's never too late to switch careers if that means you would benefit more so in terms of quality of life.
Thanks for sharing. I agree. I am currently making the most I’ve ever made, but feel the worst I’ve ever felt. It is definitely time to change careers. I take ownership of having to make an effort to go out and socialize and going back to school to change careers. The work from home and desk job is definitely not for me.
Good luck with your new career 👍
Very brave to share. Thank you
Thanks for watching.
Wow, do I relate so much with all of this. I'm so glad I found this video. I'm sorry you're going through this, you're definitely not alone though. I love working out as well and I just do not want to lately. I don't want to do literally anything, even things I love. My corporate job completely diminishes my soul. I feel all of the things you just described. I hate feeling like this, I want to feel good. I feel like I'm wasting my days away being depressed.. It's a horrible feeling. I've struggled with my mental health my entire life, recently it's way worse. I'm wishing you the best. We got this! One day at a time!! ❤️
I’m so glad I’m not alone in this especially with the corporate job. I feel like I lost myself the further I got into corporate but taking it one day at a time.
As far as not wanting to do anything it’s challenging but I set myself a goal even if it’s as small as going for a walk. Thanks for sharing and for the support. 🖤✨
Hi, sorry to hear your story. Just saying, you have to find a job you are happy and comfortable with and things will fall into place. We spend a lot of time at work and if it’s not working, it will affect your health and mental health. Not worth it. No point in having a very well paid job if you are not happy in that job. I have three beautiful daughters all on medication because they experience anxiety and depression. It’s genetic. They came off the medication but the anxiety and depression came creeping back in. They are well adjusted on meds. Not happy that they are back on them, but it’s for their well being. I too suffer from anxiety and depression and not long ago came off the meds. I lost both my parents in February and now am wondering if I should go back on the meds again because my grief is unbearable. It’s so surreal. Believe me, no ones life is perfect and a lot of people are unhappy, it’s just the way our world is right now. Loneliness is an epidemic. I feel like we are all living, ever since the internet, in our own little cells struggling. Anyway I hope you go back on the meds because it does help you to cope with life until you find your happy place then you can come off them. My eldest daughter tried many unsuitable jobs and now she has found a job she is happy in and I see a difference in her. Believe in yourself and pray, God listens.
Thanks for sharing. It’s a challenging stage of life.
I totally agree with you. Good comment 👍
Hey I’m going through an MDD episode again now too, that was triggered by an office job (I liked my job but the anxiety got horrible) so I don’t think I’ll be doing that again. It feels shameful to be this way but I’m trying to take accountability too and do whatever I need to do in order to get better. Even if it means being brutally honest to people who don’t understand it. I’m tired of basically masking depression. I don’t want to be a downer but I also have to be authentic as I work through it. I think you’re doing the same by posting videos like this. It’s very difficult. Thank you
She did a great job, didn't she? Good luck with your fight against the monster that is depression..
Thanks for sharing. I agree on not wanting to be a downer. It’s hard when feeling so awful. Yes posting the videos helps me but I hope it helps others as well.
I appreciate the support.
Things to consider:
Consider why there are positive/constructive thoughts, feelings and desires and negative/destructive ones. Do you think that they come from the same place? Do you believe that there could be a realm that is undetectable to the physical senses from which thoughts, feelings and desires come? Do you think that each person is free to either accept or reject thoughts, feelings or desires, free to choose what to believe and accept and free to choose what not to believe and reject?
Do you think its possible that positive thoughts, feelings and desires can lead to a positive, healthy life while the negative ones can lead to a negative, unhealthy life?
Definitely the latter.
So glad i found you
I appreciate it! 🖤✨
You are not alone I struggle with depression I have hard time trusting people because of my paranoid personality disorder I am working out again thank you Christina.🌹
Thanks for sharing. One day at a time.
So very well so spoken
Thanks
i understand exactly how you feel
Thanks for sharing
I started the gym in January & fell if of it in March but made a committment again to it again. Miserable with a job & miserable without a job.😢
You can always get back on.
Proper diet has cured my depression. Clean foods. Lots of vegetables, fruit, potatoes. Fermented foods, clean dairy foods. Nuts, dark chocolate, honey. But what i feel helped me the most, has been meat. Beef, pork mince 50/50, Beef mince 100%, Pork Mince 100% i dont like so much. Then chicken helped lots, i always prefer with skin, because it has healthy fats. Fish also good like salmon, trout. Salmon stomachs are really healthy. Chicken liver also helped me because i had low co q10 enzyme levels. And what is also very important, are mineral waters. I started drinking lots of Vytautas, there is calcium there in high amounts, magnesium also decent amounts. I defenitely believe that depression and other psyche related disorders are metabolic disorders of the brain, like Chris Palmer also talks. I also ate lots of buckwheat, brown rice. Used coconut oil, oilve oil, avocado oil. More some of the foods i ate - sunflower seeds, millet. Maybe to specify what fermented foods i ate exactly - kefir, sauerkraut. I always have chosen foods without additives, thats what i meant by clean foods. Yoghurts, cottage cheese, butter, cream. And dont fear fat :). Healthy fats are humans biggest friend :) Human brain is 60% fat btw. So always choose fatty healthy products if have the chance. Tim Spector, Justin Sonnenburg, David Perlmutter, Eric Berg, Mark Hyman, Anthony Chaffe, Ken Berry, Robert Kiltz, Paul Saladino, Shawn Baker, Thomas Seyfried - some names that i studied. They all have lots of videos on youtube and podcasts. Also its important go get light in the eyes every day, go for walks and socialize. And sometimes medication is needed, like anti depressants. But food is the ultimate cure, i feel, that ultimately allows us to wean off antidepressants.
And what i would also like to add is that i think that mental health and mental disorders are directly evolutionally causational by foods that we eat, our microbiome. Because a living organism that can gather the most food, speaking in natures terms, has higher survival. And when someone has depression, its bodies signal that something is wrong with the body.
Thanks for sharing. Quality foods can help as well.
I appreciate you sharing. It's certainly helpful.
I appreciate your support! Comments like this help me want to continue making videos. 🥹🖤✨
I know how u feel I feel same
Feeling like I’m falling behind in life too 😣
Thank you very much for sharing
Thanks you for the support!
Thank you for creating this video. I don't feel so alone.
You’re welcome! Hope it helps.
I feel the same
Thanks for sharing
I can relate to you I am 58, but disabled. I am married but my wife works as a teacher full time and daughter in University out of town my son graduated is in a corporate job out of town. I am depressed being alone most of the day and feeling useless. I take anti depresant but have cut back. You are young I am sorry what you are going thru. I can totally relate and also tired all the time, also I can understand I have a few good friends, but I hate to put my deprssion on wife or friends. Thank you for making this video. Make sure you do what makes you happy and I think medications help. Also getting out is key which I do not. Thank you for being so honest. I just ran into your video. New to your channel and thanks again for helping! Your not alone out there!
Hello and thank you for sharing. I appreciate you coming across my video and plan to make more. Thanks for the support! 🖤✨
Ngl, I never really thought good-looking people really experienced loneliness and depression...like in a real way. I feel for you as someone who battles both. I pray you know that you're existence matters even if it's not immediately clear.
It’s more common than most people think. Especially now with remote work being more prevalent.
as a fellow depressed person, outside looking in to your life. I would say the things i notice. You should go back to a job where you enjoy/dont hate it. Where you move a lot, so on. Then when you are working, you get in to the rythm of life a little better. Then you can start thinking of career change/ big passions. Also remember that even if you aren't working with your passion, you can find time to do it on your free time, that often helps you feel better aswell. And get on antidepressants again if they worked for you. Cause I get the feeling of not wanting to be on them all your life, but you dont have to. Only a few years until you feel things are better in life. Maybe you find a partner or feel more fullfilling. Anyways, I think it is great that you shared this, cause it helps in a strange way. Ifeel like this video is the most relatable i've felt of my depression and my life. Hopelessness, lack of motivation, tiredness, isolation. I kind of have the same story, after school i've just made terrible choices that left me more alone than i ever was before.Even if I felt as bad back then in my mood,it got worse when i didn't have a routine, friends, I lost the strength to shower to even do anything, isolated myself without realizing it, i went a long time without even coming to terms with that i was depressed. Thats why i think we need more awareness. It would of helped if someone helped me when I first was going through this in the early stages, before it escalated to this terrible consuming thing. I was depressed for years, but when I lost the stength to shower, thats a different kind of weight. Mild depression is atleast better than major. So yeah i appreciate your video and i feel like this is what i search for when i come on youtube, people that can speak to me, comfort me, relate to me, especially at a time when i dont really speak to many ppl. I really want to change my life and I have some hope for the future, at the same time I cannot imagine this going away and that I will actually not feel like this forever, cause it has been almost 7 years. I am still young and that is also what makes it so heartbreaking cause i should really have the time of my life now. But i think a lifestyle change will help me, I also got on antidepressants for the first time since i was always skeptic of it. But it has gotten to the point where I'll take any help i get. ✌
Thanks for sharing. Definitely the job is what affects me the most and I feel really stuck not having direction of what other things to pursue. However it is not healthy as I feel in constant panic with the job.
I agree with finding something different then I will have the mental space to pursue other passions. Now I feel so drained with the job no mental space.
I recommend you listen to "Master your emotions." its a feee audiobook on youtube. It's helped me greatly. Most people who are depressed believe they don't have any control over life. Life just happens to them. And that's why they don't improve. But from what I saw in the video you don't believe that, and you understand you're the only person who can make you feel better. That means you already have the upper hand in this struggle. I have depression too and it can get pretty severe. But if you keep taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and life, I can guarantee you it will get better.
Thanks for sharing. I am going to check it out. Yes, I have some self awareness just lack of clarify and direction.
Get a gym pass and attend fitness classes! My social life pretty much since I'm very isolated like you. Working out boosts self-esteem, and you will change your body.
That’s a great idea. Thank you!
i feel you
It's all in your head
Thanks for sharing
Shabbat shalom Christina it's always good to see you when you post new videos (: keep pushing forward 💪 always have faith 🙏 trust in G-d and hi from Israel
Thank you. I appreciate the support. I agree. Faith that things will always workout. 🖤✨
Yes always have faith hebrew 11:1 💯💙@@ProgressWithChristina
@robertperez3026 yes! 🙏🏼 Ty for sharing. 🖤👍🏼
And if you don't mind keep your prayer for the Nation of Israel we are going thru a hard time@@ProgressWithChristina
You can amp up the cardio if you do high intensity intervals. Walk along, and then sprint as long as you can as fast as you can to get your heart rate up. Then walk along again to get your heart rate down. Then sprint again. Do as many as you feel comfortable with but don't over-do it, especially at first. I only suggest this because you said you like cardio.
I am a weight lifter, but I am incorporating HIIT twice a week on leg days. I am doing 5 intervals right now on the elliptical trainer. I started with 3 HIITs. I need to lose 15 pounds.
Thanks for sharing. I ran the other day (I’m not a runner lol), and I felt so much better after. I ran a mile.
Yes i can relate. God yes a deadend job will mentally kill you and unfriendly coworkers. I feel your pain. Depression tired sweetie
Your honesty is truly helpful. Your struggle is empathised with. Your strength is recognised and admired.
May you know the joy of peace and the peace of joy. 🙏✨
Thank you for your honesty, it is very helpful.
Thank you. 🙏🏼
It's all toxic self-pity. See what you want to see I guess.
@@JXDMNN I agree and that’s why l say I take ownership and it’s up to me to change it. It’s challenging when feeling so down but no one will do it for me. I share not for pity but because I know someone out there may feel the same and self pity will solve nothing.
Im at home unemployef for a year snd the lonliness is hard.
Finding activities definitely helps
❤
🖤✨
did you feel better when you were taking your medication?
Hard to tell because my I was on edge for so long and I was on other meds.
@ProgressWithChristina my experience with medication is that i take it as directed and i start to feel better little by littled and without me noticing im starting to do the things i normally enjoy. It does get better Christina.
@harrygarcia5227 yes I agree. When in deep depression they can help jumpstart things and then can ween off.
Yes everyone is different no one can understand us because we dont even know whats going on, but it feels terrible. Thank you for sharing, we are not the only ones.
Why not continue with the medications?
Thanks for you input. I may have to but I notice this is from social isolation so I have to make an effort to go out.
I've gained 46 pound in 14 months
Thanks for sharing. It’s definitely possible to make changes.
Christina what you are going through right now and at the same time are using it here as a tool to help others, perhaps you may find a career helping others who are struggling as you and even worse. You just might find who you are and how you can help others. I don't know but just perhaps.
I agree.
As I help myself I will share the info in hopes that it helps others as well.
Thanks for sharing.
Maybe eating out for lunch at a local - take a break from being in the house.
Yes. Working from home is not for me.
you dont have to explain yourself
Save every penny save up snd leave your job with a plan -
That’s the goal. I’m scared haha.
You have to stop saying "like" all the time.
It's very depressing.
Like thanks. 😂
The gym is so boring.
Noooo. The gym is great.
Do some other job that makes you happy. Downsize. Get a dog. Volunteer. All I'm hearing is 'corporate' and 'expenses'. Up to you, as they say hereabouts.
You are right
Self pity is a disease.
Thanks for sharing.
It's not self-pity if you had depression you'd understand.
Why comment something nasty? Move along. Nobody asked. If you don't relate or get something from it, please move on.
@taylorchase2346 negative comments are inevitable. I have felt so awful a negative comment can’t make me feel anymore awful than I have. Just people’s opinions.
Thanks for the support.