I would love a classy ladies guide to funeral etiquette what to wear, sending flowers, etc. I had a coworker pass recently and was a little unsure of proper etiquette on certain things involving the funeral and I wanted to extra cognizant since she was a coworker. Love your videos!
@Justice Mercy I just watched a movie where a couple arrived to a funeral service wearing black and everyone else was wearing white. It was a Hindu funeral and to the Hindu culture white means purity and mourners wear white. This couple was embarrassed and annoyed because nobody informed them. I guess this would be a good an example for a video of this topic. Is it our responsibility to find out about something like this? Should the chief mourners mention something like this on the funeral service arrangements? It would be a good topic for discussion, I think. Some might say .. it's not important and there is something more important to focus on. However, in another culture this could be thought to be very disrespectful or offensive.
I fully agree, It's such a bad timing to arrive with flowers at the time when the hostess has all the other guests and all the party to attend to and might be slightly flushed. Imagine having to find 10 vases, fill them with water, rush to and fro. In France we consider it clumsy. But there is a solution, which to crown it all is the very epitome of class : having the flowers delivered by a florist early on the party day or the day before. Many advantages : plenty of time to display them, . then you don't have to carry anything around, finally surely the local florist knows your hostess's tastes. She surely adores flowers, who doesn't, and will be amazed at your elegant gesture. Another possibility is bringing an orchidea, needs no water, can be put up easily and quickly and is very chic as well.
Just yesterday we received a Xmas card with thank you for hosting from a couple that is vegan and we did vegan dinner and breakfast for all. Not only they brought wine and flowers but also a card 2 weeks later. It was first private card (not bank or bills) addressed to our new place and first card with a thank you note. We both really liked it.
Tracy, your advice is first class! You should start writing books on this subject. I think your advice is modern and addresses issues that may be of a sensitive nature(making all guests feel welcome, i.e the costume party for Halloween). As an adult who suffers from social anxiety and was not brought in a home that I was exposed to how to respond in social situations, your advice is so very beneficial for someone such as myself! I would definitely buy your books! Ms. Tracy you are definitely the epitome of class! And a physically beautiful lady as well:)
Could you do a video on how to be friends and make friends with more classy people. Such as making friends with the people you want to be like or have similar interests with instead of lower class. Basically people who want to be classy and elegant, sophisticated and who act like somebody.
Great video Tracy! The cell phone etiquette has got to reach many! I find it rude if people I am with either at a party or out to dinner are glued to their phones!
I have a few wines ready for parties only. I have them in the pantry with a bow on them, ready to go if I am in a hurry. This has saved me many-a-time! I love this video! Always good to learn how to be classy
I love your videos, Tracy! I attended my works holiday party this weekend and when I arrived there were two long tables for dinner and the first table was already full as a lot of people were already seated. As somebody who loves my coworkers but also isn’t always comfortable being a people person I was really proud of myself when I walked over and greeted each of my coworkers and their spouses. I think those little touches make a huge difference! I usually would have just gone over to the other table and got myself seated so this was a good step in exercising being a people person. :) thanks for your content!
Tracy, Probably one of my favorite party etiquette tips of your is to send a hand written thank you card. It’s old fashioned, however when hosts see me they come up and tell me how much they appreciate it.
I liked it when you said not everyone has or has a desire to own an ugly Christmas sweater (I’m such one)! I recently saw an invitation meme that literally read ‘hey I’m having a group of people over to stare at our phones later.’ I agree that people need to get off their phones. Yet I personally think emergency situations are an exception! Thanks for making and sharing these Classy Lady videos! 🌹
Excellent video. I would like your thoughts on people who never reciprocate. I am a terrific hostess and enjoy getting people together and over the years I have invited people to our home in an effort to develop more of a friendship. I always hear the excuse, "Hospitality is YOUR gift and I am not good at it." But people don't even suggest getting together at a restaurant. Like you say, time is a gift we can give and it just seems that people won't take the time to get to know one another.
Thank you for sharing, Sharon! My thoughts on the topic are this - It's unfortunate, but most individuals would much rather know what other people are doing or updates on their friends lives via social media. They don't need to get together in person to catch up. It's all out there on Facebook. It's a sad truth.
@@TracyHensel I struggle with this but in a different way. I am an introvert, and dont always enjoy socializing, especially hosting events. However, I get invited to attend many events at other peoples homes. I dont always want to go, but i do. However, I dont always reciprocate becuase its draining for me to socialize. I actually feel awful about it. I attend their gatherings as I feel obligated to. Isnt that awful??
I don't host more than 2, max 4 people at once. I get anxious about a lot of people in my place, about the noise, potential damage, my pets being scared, people being late, etc. I simply don't really like hosting. But I will gladly help hosting or clean up, I will bring wine, flowers and desserts. I will also set up meet ups. I'm not a party host, but I'm a good guest, if that makes sense. Everyone is different, you like to host, someone else might not, maybe they offer something else to the group or you that is worth having them around (help with a move or redecorating, be your personal shopper, be your good life coach, always count on them to get a lift or babysit).
You nailed it...I have a black tie gala tonight. Thank you so much for keep all of us deep south gals classy. Love it and Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Very good! I think it’s also nice to send a short hand written thank you note to the hostess or host a day or two after the party. Always great tips, Tracy.
Fantastic video as always, Tracy. I particularly agree with bringing a hostess gift. I was always taught to never show up anywhere with an empty hand, even if popping to someone for a coffee. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Wishing you & your family a very merry and peaceful Christmas season. With love from London, UK xx
Thk u for this. I love ur videos. My crush invited me to his bday party this weekend and I’m going, it’s in another state. So I doing some self checks! I’m classy but I slip sometimes and just wanna make sure I’m not missing anything!
Dear Tracy. Great video as usual! People with kids assume that their kids are always welcome everywhere and that everyone is happy to play and take care of them. This is not the case 😊 (yes, I have a child too). So thanks for the reminder not to assume automatically that kids are welcome.
Hi! I would love your advice on dealing with in laws...I married into a very tumultuous, toxic family, and I’m struggling to navigate the situation with tact and class. I always try to be “open heart with backbone” and appreciate healthy boundaries. Tips?
Thank you for sharing! I can imagine this is very difficult for you to keep up with. Unfortunately there is not much I can do HERE to help navigate the situation, as all dynamics are different. This would really require a few coaching sessions. If that is something that interests you, I encourage you to look into my packages at the beginning of the new year. In the meantime, keep it classy, even if others don't. God Bless!
This phone issue is just so big these days and gets under my skin so badly which is just a bummer because then I’m constantly annoyed. I mean, I can’t grab lunch with a friend or go on a date with my boyfriend without either of them checking on their phones constantly, replying to text messages that I know aren’t urgent. I can’t even....
Thank you for sharing. I am sure many can relate. A trick that helps me when a person does something that I just cannot wrap my head around, is I let 'what they are doing' be a reminder to me of HOW NOT to act, behave or do something. I personally have a negative energy around public gum chewing. If people only knew how silly they look carrying on a conversation with someone while they have gum in their mouth. I have to let their faux pas be a reminder to me - to NEVER chew gum in public. I am almost three years gum-free thanks to these individuals who look like a cow chewing their cud. lol
Tracy Hensel hahaha that is too funny and so true! Especially when chewing with open mouth. I don’t know, I think many people are aware that that’s not a good habit nor it looks good but they just do not care, simply because others do it too. But again, where has that motto taken them?! Thanks for sharing this Tracy!
Hey just a tip about ugly Christmas sweater party’s. I to refuse to spend extra money on a sweater I will wear once. The good news is you can just get one from a thrift store And simply glue cheap Christmas decorations to it. You can go to the dollar store and find cheap Christmas appliqués in the craft section. Simply glue or tack them on and you’re done
Hi Tina! I would offer to the host an appetizer or dessert that is one of your specialties and if the host is open to you providing it, that's what I would bring. I always take my most loved appetizers and desserts to parties, as those are the recipes my loved ones look forward to the most. You almost become known for certain goodies. Good Luck!
I lived in the projects basically all of my life. I’m 18 and I’m trying to shape myself into the woman I aspire to be. It’s so weird to listen to a person talk about the proper way to do something with my background. Especially when it’s something I didn’t even know was a thing. Like I watched one of your older videos and I seriously didn’t know that there was a specific plate just for bread 😂😂. I want to some day be able to use your advice, but I genuinely don’t know how to make it out of here. Which is so frustrating when you want something so badly. The point of me telling you that was to ask if you can give me any advice? Or know anyone who comes from that background who can give me advice?
Just the fact that you’re thirsting towards something different will pay off!!! Your want & drive are already there if you’re bringing in ideas beyond your current life. Be courageous in your thoughts and actions. You’ll make it!!! And btw - the bread tastes and goes down the same regardless of which plate it’s on 😏. It’s not often that you’re in places which have a specified bread plate. Mostly catered sit down dinners & restaurants that serve bread. It’s really just an appetizer plate that would be used for whatever is served on the table including chips/salsa...if u were at a Mexican place. Most houses don’t want to mess with the extra dishes to clean up lol! Watch what most others in those locales are doing as a lead as well. I admire the hell out of your drive! ❤️
fre sha va ca do I was in the same boat as you, pre-internet. I used to go to the library and read books about manners (Emily Post, Miss Manners). I also paid very close attention to people I wanted to emulate, mostly on TV because the people around me were not exactly role model types😏. It really is pretty simple when you get the basics down. Your desire to improve yourself will take you far!
Terri Solaroli believe it or not I’m enlisting in February. Air Force. The fact that I was literally JUST thinking about it when your notification popped up absolutely HAS to be a sign. 😭😭
I love this video When someone has invited you please be kind as they are spending money on you and value you I am very detailed , I host a lot. I hate when ppl still ask if they can bring someone or their kids . I have a limit amount of space . If I wanted your kids or a guest I would have told you . Ugly Christmas Sweater encouraged or costumes are encouraged I always send a thank you card after the party ... it’s a nice touch ..., or at least a text or email thanking them . It’s nice to feel appreciated
Lashlove16 many times that’s the problem; they don’t watch their children as they run through the house acting like wild animals lol! I don’t like to discipline other people’s kids😩
I have been to adult cocktail parties where people arrive looking like they rolled out of bed, kids in tow and then let them run around, hands all over the food, in and out of all rooms of the house, screaming and fighting, all the while the "adults" are throwing back several adult beverages and making plates to go. Uggggh! Where are people's manners? Plus, they are totally oblivious to how disrespectful this is. It got to the point where the party was kept hush-hush so they did not know when it was scheduled. It made for a very awkward holiday season each year. Thanks for the great tips. Happy Holidays!🌻
Hello Tracy, I will be hosting my baby first birthday party would you be able to share some tips on how to host a kids party. Such as what time to start the party, etc. I have no experience in these kind of parties so any tips would help. Thank you!
Maria Zambrano I know I’m not Tracy but I would definitely say ask any of the parents if their children have any allergies, put special toys that you don’t want broken in a safe place and maybe try to avoid obvious nap times. Also ask the parents to stay, I ran into difficulties with this with my daughters third birthday party and it was a lot of children to manage.
I had family baby shower for our 1st grand baby a while back. I had rsvp by phone or text on the invite. Over 40 people showed up but only 5 RSVP'd. I had to literally call families a week before as we rented a venue to hold this.
What an inconvenient that must have been. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing. I sure hope your message reaches those that don't understand the importance of responding to an RSVP request.
I apologize in advance if this is the wrong place to put this but I wanted to be sure that you saw it. What you were saying on Instagram stories yesterday regarding putting systems in place and asking how does that serve you? Really resonated with me. I feel like sometimes I do really well but those are few and far between. I don't have any systems in place I apologize in advance if this is the wrong place to put this but I wanted to be sure that you saw it. Not having systems in place things to keep me full of anxiety or at least I think that's what it is. Sometimes I feel like I've got it and most times I don't. I would like to know more about putting systems in place to help me be more productive and have better performance. I am just not sure where to start. I wish I could afford your coaching sessions but unfortunately our finances will not allow it. If there is an article, or a video or some place to get me started that would be most helpful. At this moment I find myself ill-prepared for Christmas and we have ate dinner scheduled with the grandchildren and the children and I wanted to be ready but I'm not and it will be Friday before I'm ready and Saturday is the dinner. Thank you in advance for any assistance you can give.
Hi Tracy (Great name ... wink-wink)! This is a perfect place to leave a comment, as it WILL get seen here. I cannot promise on social media that I will get to it. So thank you for that! I do think a video on creating and implementing 'Systems' would be very beneficial. I will try to get something out on TH-cam. I printed your comment, as often my viewers requests help me to know exactly what guidance they are looking for. Wishing you all the best for your family dinner. Merry Christmas!
Oh gosh, dress code! Please, party hosts, always list the dress code on the invitation, even it's just casual. I've gotten all kinds of invitations for weddings and parties that didn't have any dress code listed.
Weddings are always a dressed up event. If it is Black Tie, the invitation will be noted. Other than that, everyone should know the appropriate dress for a wedding!
This is really great information. Thank you! But I am so terrible at this when the invitations require a call back from people that I really wish wouldn't invite me. But that is still no excuse, I should do the classy thing and still reply. Sending a text or email should really be provided on all RSVP if at all possible, so as not to give anyone an excuse not to RSVP. Also, is there any classy way to let people know that you would not like be invited to the events they and their children have? The reason is, they tend to say things that are just not very nice.
Being invited to a party or event does not mean that you have to attend. If the social event does not serve you in any way, understand that saying 'NO' to the invite is saying 'YES' to something better. Your time and money are very important and valuable. You should never feel obligated to GIVE of either, if it does not serve you. You also do not need to give a reason as to why you are declining the offer. You simply thank the person for the invite, communicate that you will not be able to attend and wish them a successful party/event. Thank you for sharing! Merry Christmas!
Hello dear Tracy, I think your videos are awsome and everytime i watch on of them, I learn a lot of practical things. However, It would be much better, if you could do your videos just a little bit shorter. Thank you! Greetings from Serbia! 😊
Mila P. I enjoy long videos from some people, Tracy is one of them. However there is a speed option on TH-cam that lets you play it much faster if needed.
Sharon Woryn Dear Miss Manners, Yes, the content takes up our precious time.....BUT, ALL NEEDS TO BE COVERED AND SAID ❤️. You can stop each video and pick it up later. Yes, some info is a repeat from former videos and what you were taught as a child, but Tracey included current trends that needed to be addressed. Isn’t she a GEM🌟 to set before us such Thought & Blessings from her Heart??? YEA💐!!!! Merry Christmas To All 🎄💚🙏. PS, Tracy, you are so loved , honored and valued💖
@@joanwalters4741 Miss Walters. I am not the one who complained about the length of Tracy's video. Please respond to Mila who stated that they are too long. I love Tracy's video and I said it was excellent.
Is it proper to list an RSVP on an open house invitation? I usually don’t require it, but it might make less work if I didn’t have to zip over and pull more appetizers out if a lot of people show up. (I always have items ready, just in case)
I have witnessed this many times. Unfortunately we have control over no one but ourselves. If you are hosting a party, gathering the children and going over house rules is something one could consider.
I had a party space limitation so I asked everybody to RSVP until a specific date. This person decided to RSVP after the limit date. I wasn’t count on her so I had to uninvited her. Was that wrong on my part? It was a strange situation.
How does a classy lady handle a host that invites you for dinner...but then THEY are late? Ie texting you at the last minute they are running behind ( happens frequently) when we meet this couple. It's really frustrating since it's my husband's friend whom he doesn't get to see alot. So I make allowances. Ie let's meet at 730 turns into 8pm and we get there and nothing is ready...so..we wind up staying later than I wanted which makes an even later night. Its frustrating. Uh! I find it very disrespectful that they don't mind our get together time but I try to support my husband since it is their friends not mine. Your thoughts are appreciated 🤪🤯🎄
Thank you for sharing, Laura! This is tough to judge, as I do not know how important this relationship is to your husband. I believe couples need to work together as a team, and sometimes that means compromise. If, at the end of the day you TRULY enjoy the company of this couple and 'their' disrespect of your time is not that big of an issue... but rather just an annoyance, it may not be worth making an issue over. On the other hand if this couple does not offer much in the friendship department and you truly don't enjoy their time, perhaps you and your husband consider taking a step back. Good Luck! Always a tough decision.
We recently had a dinner invitation for 5pm, and when we arrived the hosts themselves were not ready (aka one left to take a shower) and dinner was not ready until 8pm... It was such a disaster.
@@TracyHensel thanks Tracy. Yes the friendship is not quality from my side but it is one of my husband's long time friends. I wasn't impressed and don't go out of my way to get together with them really. I think that's how they are with everyone & are perpetually tired & late. I will take more precautions next time...or send my hubby to go alone. It's a tricky one. 🤦♀️ what to do.
Any tips for roommate do's and don't's? I know not everyone finds themselves in roommate households but if you ever have, it'd be great to hear any lessons you might've picked up along the way 😅
I have to comment that the same respect should be shown for Facebook Events. A recent event my husband and I were looking forward to got cancelled because not enough people put that they were "Going". A casual friend messaged me on FB Messenger whining that they were planning to go, and bring their neighbors. But she had only put herself as "Interested", so the event host only saw that, not that there would be four people coming to the event. I don't understand why people won't commit to things. It's not like you're going to be arrested if you end up not going!
Hi Debby! Yes it is unfortunate when things like this happen. Facebook 'events' offer to much elbow room by offering the 'interested' option. I never use Facebook except if I am doing a Save The Date, prior to sending our formal invites. As mentioned in the video, too many people gauge whether or not they will attend a party or event based off of how they feel THAT DAY. It's kind of like working out. If I FEEL like it, I will get my workout in. Look where that gets people. The other reason people neglect to commit is, what if something better comes a long. Again, same with diet and exercise. I'll eat clean today, unless a pizza and doughnut is placed in front of me. Too many negotiables and not enough discipline. Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas!
Along with not having a fight with your partner in front of guests, how about reminding people of the Three Unmentionables of party conversations? They are of course sex, religion, and politics (the big one today). I've sat through some lovely events that were ruined by arguments on these subjects . . . so much so that I had to leave the room and go outside for some fresh air. Please, folks, only upbeat, happy topics!
Agreed! Thank you for sharing! respectively we all have different view points on these and many other topics. And that is OKAY! But relain from speaking of these topics, as not everyone can respect the fact that our views are different.
Omygosh I also dislike dressing up in costume or “ugly Christmas sweaters”! Why on earth would I spend good money on a costume or an ugly sweater?? 😂😂 I much rather buy a beautiful dress or a new pair of shoes lol
That's not easy. My husband and I have been in that situation. This is what we said......"Well, it's getting late and it's time to wrap it up. Let me get your coat and would you like to take some dessert home with you? It's worked for us. Good luck! Merry Christmas!
I would love a classy ladies guide to funeral etiquette what to wear, sending flowers, etc. I had a coworker pass recently and was a little unsure of proper etiquette on certain things involving the funeral and I wanted to extra cognizant since she was a coworker. Love your videos!
Great video suggestion. Thank you!
@Justice Mercy I just watched a movie where a couple arrived to a funeral service wearing black and everyone else was wearing white. It was a Hindu funeral and to the Hindu culture white means purity and mourners wear white. This couple was embarrassed and annoyed because nobody informed them. I guess this would be a good an example for a video of this topic. Is it our responsibility to find out about something like this? Should the chief mourners mention something like this on the funeral service arrangements? It would be a good topic for discussion, I think. Some might say .. it's not important and there is something more important to focus on. However, in another culture this could be thought to be very disrespectful or offensive.
I fully agree, It's such a bad timing to arrive with flowers at the time when the hostess has all the other guests and all the party to attend to and might be slightly flushed. Imagine having to find 10 vases, fill them with water, rush to and fro. In France we consider it clumsy. But there is a solution, which to crown it all is the very epitome of class : having the flowers delivered by a florist early on the party day or the day before. Many advantages : plenty of time to display them, . then you don't have to carry anything around, finally surely the local florist knows your hostess's tastes. She surely adores flowers, who doesn't, and will be amazed at your elegant gesture. Another possibility is bringing an orchidea, needs no water, can be put up easily and quickly and is very chic as well.
Perfectly delivered! Your attention to detail is appreciated and your approach to proper etiquette is commendable!
Thank you!
Need to get back to a “ classy “ society. Love all your videos on this subject and it needs to get out to all. Merry Christmas!
Thank you!
I'm from the south. These tips are what we' re raised on. The most important: showing gratefulness. Love your channel!
Thank you Tina!
I loved your comment, it reminded me of The Golden Girls where Blanche said she couldn’t be a bad host as it would be un -southern 🤣
I always like to send a thank you note email text or call the next day. Entertaining is a lot of work and I’m always appreciative of being invited
That's classy!💓
Thank you for sharing. Yes, entertaining is a lot. Months in the planning and a lot of budgeting.
Just yesterday we received a Xmas card with thank you for hosting from a couple that is vegan and we did vegan dinner and breakfast for all. Not only they brought wine and flowers but also a card 2 weeks later. It was first private card (not bank or bills) addressed to our new place and first card with a thank you note. We both really liked it.
In addition to wines, my husband and I will bring a nice olive oil to the party.
Love it! Thanks for sharing! I recommended that in my Girlfriend/Hostess Gift Guide!
I’ve never thought of this before, such a good idea 💡 thank you
Jo Emerald Yes it’s often overlooked but still great
Amazing!
Tracy, your advice is first class! You should start writing books on this subject. I think your advice is modern and addresses issues that may be of a sensitive nature(making all guests feel welcome, i.e the costume party for Halloween).
As an adult who suffers from social anxiety and was not brought in a home that I was exposed to how to respond in social situations, your advice is so very beneficial for someone such as myself! I would definitely buy your books! Ms. Tracy you are definitely the epitome of class! And a physically beautiful lady as well:)
Thank You! God Bless!
Classy advice from a classy lady. Such wonderful advice. Have a great weekend, Tracy!
Thank you, Rita! Have a great weekend, as well!
Could you do a video on how to be friends and make friends with more classy people. Such as making friends with the people you want to be like or have similar interests with instead of lower class. Basically people who want to be classy and elegant, sophisticated and who act like somebody.
Great video Tracy! The cell phone etiquette has got to reach many! I find it rude if people I am with either at a party or out to dinner are glued to their phones!
Thank you for these amazing ideas, you are so beautiful and inspiring, classy, smart, feminine inspiration. ❤️💁🏻♀️
Thank you! 🌟🤗
Thank you! God Bless! Have a fantastic weekend!
I have a few wines ready for parties only. I have them in the pantry with a bow on them, ready to go if I am in a hurry. This has saved me many-a-time! I love this video! Always good to learn how to be classy
Thanks for the helpful tips. I do know these things, but it's a good reminder to be more intentional!
I love your videos, Tracy!
I attended my works holiday party this weekend and when I arrived there were two long tables for dinner and the first table was already full as a lot of people were already seated. As somebody who loves my coworkers but also isn’t always comfortable being a people person I was really proud of myself when I walked over and greeted each of my coworkers and their spouses. I think those little touches make a huge difference! I usually would have just gone over to the other table and got myself seated so this was a good step in exercising being a people person. :) thanks for your content!
Oh, I love this story, Angela! Thank you so much for sharing! Merry Christmas!
Happy Beauty Saturday Everyone
Tracy,
Probably one of my favorite party etiquette tips of your is to send a hand written thank you card. It’s old fashioned, however when hosts see me they come up and tell me how much they appreciate it.
I liked it when you said not everyone has or has a desire to own an ugly Christmas sweater (I’m such one)! I recently saw an invitation meme that literally read ‘hey I’m having a group of people over to stare at our phones later.’ I agree that people need to get off their phones. Yet I personally think emergency situations are an exception! Thanks for making and sharing these Classy Lady videos! 🌹
Thank you! I appreciate you sharing!
Excellent video. I would like your thoughts on people who never reciprocate. I am a terrific hostess and enjoy getting people together and over the years I have invited people to our home in an effort to develop more of a friendship. I always hear the excuse, "Hospitality is YOUR gift and I am not good at it." But people don't even suggest getting together at a restaurant. Like you say, time is a gift we can give and it just seems that people won't take the time to get to know one another.
Thank you for sharing, Sharon! My thoughts on the topic are this - It's unfortunate, but most individuals would much rather know what other people are doing or updates on their friends lives via social media. They don't need to get together in person to catch up. It's all out there on Facebook. It's a sad truth.
@@TracyHensel I struggle with this but in a different way. I am an introvert, and dont always enjoy socializing, especially hosting events. However, I get invited to attend many events at other peoples homes. I dont always want to go, but i do. However, I dont always reciprocate becuase its draining for me to socialize. I actually feel awful about it. I attend their gatherings as I feel obligated to. Isnt that awful??
I don't host more than 2, max 4 people at once. I get anxious about a lot of people in my place, about the noise, potential damage, my pets being scared, people being late, etc. I simply don't really like hosting. But I will gladly help hosting or clean up, I will bring wine, flowers and desserts. I will also set up meet ups. I'm not a party host, but I'm a good guest, if that makes sense. Everyone is different, you like to host, someone else might not, maybe they offer something else to the group or you that is worth having them around (help with a move or redecorating, be your personal shopper, be your good life coach, always count on them to get a lift or babysit).
L. Kerry m
I value your wisdom Tracy.
Thank you!
You nailed it...I have a black tie gala tonight. Thank you so much for keep all of us deep south gals classy. Love it and Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Love it! Enjoy the Gala! Merry Christmas!
Love the red on you Tracy; thanks so much, love all of your content !
Thank you!
Tracy, your videos are such a great encouragement to me. Thank you for the timely information you share here. Great reminders for the next few weeks.
Thank you!
THANK YOU Tracy
Thank you! Have a wonderful weekend!
That color looks amazing on you!
Thank you!
I'm so thankful I got to go to two Christmas parties and out to watch The Nutcracker. It's been a magical December so far. I also love your videos!!
Very good! I think it’s also nice to send a short hand written thank you note to the hostess or host a day or two after the party. Always great tips, Tracy.
Thank you Debbie!
Fantastic video as always, Tracy. I particularly agree with bringing a hostess gift. I was always taught to never show up anywhere with an empty hand, even if popping to someone for a coffee. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Wishing you & your family a very merry and peaceful Christmas season. With love from London, UK xx
Thank you! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Thank you, very informative
Thk u for this. I love ur videos. My crush invited me to his bday party this weekend and I’m going, it’s in another state. So I doing some self checks! I’m classy but I slip sometimes and just wanna make sure I’m not missing anything!
Dear Tracy. Great video as usual! People with kids assume that their kids are always welcome everywhere and that everyone is happy to play and take care of them. This is not the case 😊 (yes, I have a child too). So thanks for the reminder not to assume automatically that kids are welcome.
Ekaterina Kozlovskaia amen!
This was very informative. You are such a valuable resource. Thank you.
Thank you Lynn!
Hi! I would love your advice on dealing with in laws...I married into a very tumultuous, toxic family, and I’m struggling to navigate the situation with tact and class. I always try to be “open heart with backbone” and appreciate healthy boundaries. Tips?
Thank you for sharing! I can imagine this is very difficult for you to keep up with. Unfortunately there is not much I can do HERE to help navigate the situation, as all dynamics are different. This would really require a few coaching sessions. If that is something that interests you, I encourage you to look into my packages at the beginning of the new year. In the meantime, keep it classy, even if others don't. God Bless!
Tracy, I would love you to share your party menu ideas! 😊
This phone issue is just so big these days and gets under my skin so badly which is just a bummer because then I’m constantly annoyed. I mean, I can’t grab lunch with a friend or go on a date with my boyfriend without either of them checking on their phones constantly, replying to text messages that I know aren’t urgent. I can’t even....
Thank you for sharing. I am sure many can relate.
A trick that helps me when a person does something that I just cannot wrap my head around, is I let 'what they are doing' be a reminder to me of HOW NOT to act, behave or do something. I personally have a negative energy around public gum chewing. If people only knew how silly they look carrying on a conversation with someone while they have gum in their mouth. I have to let their faux pas be a reminder to me - to NEVER chew gum in public. I am almost three years gum-free thanks to these individuals who look like a cow chewing their cud. lol
Tracy Hensel hahaha that is too funny and so true! Especially when chewing with open mouth. I don’t know, I think many people are aware that that’s not a good habit nor it looks good but they just do not care, simply because others do it too. But again, where has that motto taken them?! Thanks for sharing this Tracy!
Great tips! I'm going to a holiday party for the very first time next weekend, so this video came in perfect timing! Thank you!!!!!
Enjoy the party! Merry Christmas!
@@TracyHensel thank you! Merry Christmas to you too!!
Thank you, Tracy. As always, you give us excellent advice. Happy holidays to you and yours! xo
Thank you! Happy Holidays to you, as well.
Agreed on every point! Another thing I would add is to leave by the stated end time. The hosts are tired and want to start cleaning up.
Outstanding Great Palette
Hey just a tip about ugly Christmas sweater party’s. I to refuse to spend extra money on a sweater I will wear once. The good news is you can just get one from a thrift store And simply glue cheap Christmas decorations to it. You can go to the dollar store and find cheap Christmas appliqués in the craft section. Simply glue or tack them on and you’re done
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you! You gave great tips.
Great Good Video Tracy
You're awesome👍mindful (virtual party lol) amen to u. Have fun ✨
Thank you Corinne!
Thnaks Tracy have a nice day...
Hello Tracy, I really love your videos.thanks a lot.From Cameroon
Thank you!
This was helpful, Tracy! Thank you.
Helpful as usual!
Thank you!
Thank you 😘
Great video Tracy. I don’t know where the ‘manners’ have gone now a days. There needs to be a mandatory class taught in middle and high school ....
Do you have any canape suggestions? Or any suggestions of food items you could take with you to a party/event?? Thank you in advance xx
Hi Tina! I would offer to the host an appetizer or dessert that is one of your specialties and if the host is open to you providing it, that's what I would bring. I always take my most loved appetizers and desserts to parties, as those are the recipes my loved ones look forward to the most. You almost become known for certain goodies. Good Luck!
@@TracyHensel thank you for your advice x
Excellent video! Thank you!
Thank you!
Helpfull as usual, merry xmas and blessings to your family, regards from Mexico city!
Thank you!
WELL SAID , great video , 👏 bravo
Thank you!
This red looks lovely on you!
Thank you Deborah!
I lived in the projects basically all of my life. I’m 18 and I’m trying to shape myself into the woman I aspire to be. It’s so weird to listen to a person talk about the proper way to do something with my background. Especially when it’s something I didn’t even know was a thing. Like I watched one of your older videos and I seriously didn’t know that there was a specific plate just for bread 😂😂. I want to some day be able to use your advice, but I genuinely don’t know how to make it out of here. Which is so frustrating when you want something so badly. The point of me telling you that was to ask if you can give me any advice? Or know anyone who comes from that background who can give me advice?
The choice is always yours on how you project yourself and show up in all situations. That advice will take you far, IF YOU APPLY IT!!!
Just the fact that you’re thirsting towards something different will pay off!!! Your want & drive are already there if you’re bringing in ideas beyond your current life. Be courageous in your thoughts and actions. You’ll make it!!! And btw - the bread tastes and goes down the same regardless of which plate it’s on 😏. It’s not often that you’re in places which have a specified bread plate. Mostly catered sit down dinners & restaurants that serve bread. It’s really just an appetizer plate that would be used for whatever is served on the table including chips/salsa...if u were at a Mexican place. Most houses don’t want to mess with the extra dishes to clean up lol! Watch what most others in those locales are doing as a lead as well. I admire the hell out of your drive! ❤️
fre sha va ca do
I was in the same boat as you, pre-internet. I used to go to the library and read books about manners (Emily Post, Miss Manners). I also paid very close attention to people I wanted to emulate, mostly on TV because the people around me were not exactly role model types😏. It really is pretty simple when you get the basics down. Your desire to improve yourself will take you far!
fre sha va ca do go in to the military. It will get you on your feet and you’ll be forced to grow up.
Terri Solaroli believe it or not I’m enlisting in February. Air Force. The fact that I was literally JUST thinking about it when your notification popped up absolutely HAS to be a sign. 😭😭
Ohhh red is a great color for you girlfriend!
Thank you!
I love this video
When someone has invited you please be kind as they are spending money on you and value you
I am very detailed , I host a lot. I hate when ppl still ask if they can bring someone or their kids . I have a limit amount of space . If I wanted your kids or a guest I would have told you .
Ugly Christmas Sweater encouraged or costumes are encouraged
I always send a thank you card after the party ... it’s a nice touch ..., or at least a text or email thanking them . It’s nice to feel appreciated
Thank you for sharing! I feel the same on all counts.
Lashlove16 I hear ya! Sometimes it’s purposely an adult get together.
sandramA heynemana exactly
Also some ppl don’t watch their kids and we might want to just have adults
Lashlove16 many times that’s the problem; they don’t watch their children as they run through the house acting like wild animals lol! I don’t like to discipline other people’s kids😩
I have been to adult cocktail parties where people arrive looking like they rolled out of bed, kids in tow and then let them run around, hands all over the food, in and out of all rooms of the house, screaming and fighting, all the while the "adults" are throwing back several adult beverages and making plates to go. Uggggh! Where are people's manners? Plus, they are totally oblivious to how disrespectful this is. It got to the point where the party was kept hush-hush so they did not know when it was scheduled. It made for a very awkward holiday season each year. Thanks for the great tips. Happy Holidays!🌻
Thanks for sharing, Sherry! what you described is the worst. Unfortunately you have to be very selective of who you invite to your parties.
Wonderful information! Makes for great holiday spirit. No political discussions? Right?
Thank you! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Anyone who brings up politics outside of an appropriate place to do so will never show up as classy!
Hello Tracy, I will be hosting my baby first birthday party would you be able to share some tips on how to host a kids party. Such as what time to start the party, etc. I have no experience in these kind of parties so any tips would help.
Thank you!
Maria Zambrano I know I’m not Tracy but I would definitely say ask any of the parents if their children have any allergies, put special toys that you don’t want broken in a safe place and maybe try to avoid obvious nap times. Also ask the parents to stay, I ran into difficulties with this with my daughters third birthday party and it was a lot of children to manage.
GREAT video, as always!!!!!!
Thank you!
I had family baby shower for our 1st grand baby a while back. I had rsvp by phone or text on the invite. Over 40 people showed up but only 5 RSVP'd. I had to literally call families a week before as we rented a venue to hold this.
What an inconvenient that must have been. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing. I sure hope your message reaches those that don't understand the importance of responding to an RSVP request.
We’ve become a texting society for sure. Sometimes it’s just quicker and more efficient lol!
I agree with you on the ugly Christmas sweater.🧥😀lol
I apologize in advance if this is the wrong place to put this but I wanted to be sure that you saw it. What you were saying on Instagram stories yesterday regarding putting systems in place and asking how does that serve you? Really resonated with me. I feel like sometimes I do really well but those are few and far between. I don't have any systems in place I apologize in advance if this is the wrong place to put this but I wanted to be sure that you saw it. Not having systems in place things to keep me full of anxiety or at least I think that's what it is. Sometimes I feel like I've got it and most times I don't. I would like to know more about putting systems in place to help me be more productive and have better performance. I am just not sure where to start. I wish I could afford your coaching sessions but unfortunately our finances will not allow it. If there is an article, or a video or some place to get me started that would be most helpful. At this moment I find myself ill-prepared for Christmas and we have ate dinner scheduled with the grandchildren and the children and I wanted to be ready but I'm not and it will be Friday before I'm ready and Saturday is the dinner. Thank you in advance for any assistance you can give.
Hi Tracy (Great name ... wink-wink)! This is a perfect place to leave a comment, as it WILL get seen here. I cannot promise on social media that I will get to it. So thank you for that!
I do think a video on creating and implementing 'Systems' would be very beneficial. I will try to get something out on TH-cam. I printed your comment, as often my viewers requests help me to know exactly what guidance they are looking for.
Wishing you all the best for your family dinner. Merry Christmas!
Oh gosh, dress code! Please, party hosts, always list the dress code on the invitation, even it's just casual. I've gotten all kinds of invitations for weddings and parties that didn't have any dress code listed.
Weddings are always a dressed up event. If it is Black Tie, the invitation will be noted. Other than that, everyone should know the appropriate dress for a wedding!
Hi. Tracy. Im. From. Iraq
This is really great information. Thank you! But I am so terrible at this when the invitations require a call back from people that I really wish wouldn't invite me. But that is still no excuse, I should do the classy thing and still reply. Sending a text or email should really be provided on all RSVP if at all possible, so as not to give anyone an excuse not to RSVP. Also, is there any classy way to let people know that you would not like be invited to the events they and their children have? The reason is, they tend to say things that are just not very nice.
Being invited to a party or event does not mean that you have to attend. If the social event does not serve you in any way, understand that saying 'NO' to the invite is saying 'YES' to something better. Your time and money are very important and valuable. You should never feel obligated to GIVE of either, if it does not serve you. You also do not need to give a reason as to why you are declining the offer. You simply thank the person for the invite, communicate that you will not be able to attend and wish them a successful party/event.
Thank you for sharing! Merry Christmas!
I saw a t- shirt the other day that would suit you perfectly “It said sorry I’m late but I didn’t want to come!” 🤣
Hello dear Tracy, I think your videos are awsome and everytime i watch on of them, I learn a lot of practical things. However, It would be much better, if you could do your videos just a little bit shorter. Thank you! Greetings from Serbia! 😊
Mila P. I enjoy long videos from some people, Tracy is one of them. However there is a speed option on TH-cam that lets you play it much faster if needed.
Listen to her videos and multi-task while you are cooking, doing laundry or some other activity!
Sharon Woryn Dear Miss Manners, Yes, the content takes up our precious time.....BUT, ALL NEEDS TO BE COVERED AND SAID ❤️. You can stop each video and pick it up later. Yes, some info is a repeat from former videos and what you were taught as a child, but Tracey included current trends that needed to be addressed. Isn’t she a GEM🌟 to set before us such Thought & Blessings from her Heart??? YEA💐!!!! Merry Christmas To All 🎄💚🙏. PS, Tracy, you are so loved , honored and valued💖
@@joanwalters4741 Miss Walters. I am not the one who complained about the length of Tracy's video. Please respond to Mila who stated that they are too long. I love Tracy's video and I said it was excellent.
Is it proper to list an RSVP on an open house invitation? I usually don’t require it, but it might make less work if I didn’t have to zip over and pull more appetizers out if a lot of people show up. (I always have items ready, just in case)
Hi Mia! I see no reason why you cannot request an RSVP on an Open House invitation.
Mia Anstine absolutely ask for an rsvp. Doesn’t matter when they show up but u at least need to know if you’re prepping for 20 or 40
What is the proper time you have to stay at a party when the invitation only has a start time?
Use discretion. A good rule of thumb is never be the last to leave. Generally you get a feel fo when it's time to call it night.
What about parents who forget to actually PARENT at parties?
Many parents don't even know what their child is up to during a party.
I have witnessed this many times. Unfortunately we have control over no one but ourselves. If you are hosting a party, gathering the children and going over house rules is something one could consider.
I had a party space limitation so I asked everybody to RSVP until a specific date. This person decided to RSVP after the limit date. I wasn’t count on her so I had to uninvited her. Was that wrong on my part? It was a strange situation.
It's unfortunate, but no you didn't do anything wrong. You communicated. There is nothing more that you can do on your end.
How does a classy lady handle a host that invites you for dinner...but then THEY are late? Ie texting you at the last minute they are running behind ( happens frequently) when we meet this couple. It's really frustrating since it's my husband's friend whom he doesn't get to see alot. So I make allowances. Ie let's meet at 730 turns into 8pm and we get there and nothing is ready...so..we wind up staying later than I wanted which makes an even later night. Its frustrating. Uh! I find it very disrespectful that they don't mind our get together time but I try to support my husband since it is their friends not mine. Your thoughts are appreciated 🤪🤯🎄
Thank you for sharing, Laura! This is tough to judge, as I do not know how important this relationship is to your husband. I believe couples need to work together as a team, and sometimes that means compromise. If, at the end of the day you TRULY enjoy the company of this couple and 'their' disrespect of your time is not that big of an issue... but rather just an annoyance, it may not be worth making an issue over. On the other hand if this couple does not offer much in the friendship department and you truly don't enjoy their time, perhaps you and your husband consider taking a step back. Good Luck! Always a tough decision.
We recently had a dinner invitation for 5pm, and when we arrived the hosts themselves were not ready (aka one left to take a shower) and dinner was not ready until 8pm... It was such a disaster.
@@TracyHensel thanks Tracy. Yes the friendship is not quality from my side but it is one of my husband's long time friends. I wasn't impressed and don't go out of my way to get together with them really. I think that's how they are with everyone & are perpetually tired & late. I will take more precautions next time...or send my hubby to go alone. It's a tricky one. 🤦♀️ what to do.
@@uleexxx I know what you mean! Ya, its definitely not cool 💁♀️
Halloween party: costume or dress in theme, (holiday colors)🧡🖤
X-mas: Ugly Sweater or holiday colors
❤️💚
Any tips for roommate do's and don't's? I know not everyone finds themselves in roommate households but if you ever have, it'd be great to hear any lessons you might've picked up along the way 😅
I have to comment that the same respect should be shown for Facebook Events. A recent event my husband and I were looking forward to got cancelled because not enough people put that they were "Going". A casual friend messaged me on FB Messenger whining that they were planning to go, and bring their neighbors. But she had only put herself as "Interested", so the event host only saw that, not that there would be four people coming to the event. I don't understand why people won't commit to things. It's not like you're going to be arrested if you end up not going!
Hi Debby! Yes it is unfortunate when things like this happen. Facebook 'events' offer to much elbow room by offering the 'interested' option. I never use Facebook except if I am doing a Save The Date, prior to sending our formal invites. As mentioned in the video, too many people gauge whether or not they will attend a party or event based off of how they feel THAT DAY. It's kind of like working out. If I FEEL like it, I will get my workout in. Look where that gets people. The other reason people neglect to commit is, what if something better comes a long. Again, same with diet and exercise. I'll eat clean today, unless a pizza and doughnut is placed in front of me. Too many negotiables and not enough discipline.
Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas!
Along with not having a fight with your partner in front of guests, how about reminding people of the Three Unmentionables of party conversations? They are of course sex, religion, and politics (the big one today). I've sat through some lovely events that were ruined by arguments on these subjects . . . so much so that I had to leave the room and go outside for some fresh air. Please, folks, only upbeat, happy topics!
Agreed! Thank you for sharing! respectively we all have different view points on these and many other topics. And that is OKAY! But relain from speaking of these topics, as not everyone can respect the fact that our views are different.
Omygosh I also dislike dressing up in costume or “ugly Christmas sweaters”! Why on earth would I spend good money on a costume or an ugly sweater?? 😂😂 I much rather buy a beautiful dress or a new pair of shoes lol
Ugh how do you politely ask someone to leave when it's getting late?
That's not easy. My husband and I have been in that situation. This is what we said......"Well, it's getting late and it's time to wrap it up. Let me get your coat and would you like to take some dessert home with you? It's worked for us. Good luck! Merry Christmas!
Tracy Hensel Fabulous tactic!
@@TracyHensel great answer for that!
Sandra Belabin gotta give it a whirl
Cell phones at any family event is a buzz kill!!! I love my cell phone but don’t enjoy all of the scrolling and feeling ignored
Wine, cheese or chocolates for the host if they say bring no dish.