After going to work and letting this marinate I feel like it’s important to say that for me.. this is a lifestyle and a cultural thing - people can say we’re doing too much or whatever but I’m proud to b extra 😭 I think we just have to find a way to keep our crowns healthy while we do it !!
As someone who plain Jane and like to be done up sometimes, I get tired of beauty expectations of black women. Sometimes I want to wear my old braids and not feel werid that I am not doing enough. I feel like black women have to be done up all the time to avoid stereotypes and dirty jokes. It’s exhausting. Honestly in this economy, we are trying to save money and survive. Beauty can only take you so far
That’s one reason why I be doing my hair myself, I cant lose out on saving or experiences for a hairstyle. And that makes so much sense! Maybe the extravagance is to look wealthier or hygienic !
@@gorlunion and what’s crazy is nothing looks more hygienic than natural hair. Quiet as it’s kept the intricate styles bw wear makes non blk ppl think we don’t wash often since they equate hair washing with showering.
I wish people would embrace the plain Jane look more. I find it very charming and endearing. For someone like me that looks “Exotic” I feel like I always have to look very stylish and presentable otherwise I give off a wildly, aggressive look …
I definitely appreciate the extra-ness in the black community at times but I had to realize that its just not for me. Once I started keeping it simple then I became less stressed.
I remember hearing this girl on tik tok saying if you were black and grew up around predominantly white people there’s not much pressure on your hair to look laid ALL THE TIME. This girl said she would have month old box braids in and she would still get compliments from non-black people(majority being whites) saying how pretty her hair is, while black people would look at her hair as being “old” , “unkept” , and not “high maintenance”. This made her realize that black people make it harder on themselves at times and I couldn’t agree more . Y’all are pushing these unrealistic beauty standards and the reality is that we all can’t look like Jayda Wayda OR Ari everyday.. and that’s OKAY. Running your pockets empty to look like a celebrity 😭
Girl are you a sociology major because you're definitely doing sociological observations right now. We just haven't institutionalized these observations but this is Black sociology...
Yes yes yes! I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. the grooming standards for black women are way too high. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if we’re were the ones profiting off of these insecurities but we don’t even have our hands in beauty supply ownership or hair care lines. I thinks that’s why you see so many of us wearing locks. Including the men
You’re so right. We put all this extra pressure on ourselves. WW can do a simple claw clip ponytail and feel fabulous. But for some reason if baby hairs aren’t laid, ponytail ain’t slicked we look a “mess”
Honestly I think it starts with children.. I think criticizing little girls/boys hair is insane.. let it be wild, it’s almost like they equate your child’s hair not being brushed to the child being neglected
It's probably just where you live. I see regular looking black people at the time. When I see dressed up black people, I just think they look nice. I don't compare them to myself. But black people are super judgmental of other black people. We put ridiculous standards on each other. We expect each other to be perfect all the time, especially when it comes to hair. I prefer to be around more natural black women because they tend to judge our hair less. Like I don't need a 30 inch buss down and perfect, non-frizzy braids, and perfectly slicked back hair.
Tbh WP should have standards however, it’s for themselves. That shouldn’t have anything to do with the BC. And BW should have their own standards for themselves, because even beauty standards in the BC can be unrealistic/ harsh and a monolith.
What do we do? We work on ourselves. Work on our confidence…work on our self esteem…basically work on loving ourselves. That’s a catch phrase right? “Love yourself” - everyone says it…but people have to realize it’s actionable. You have to practice loving yourself…right? I honestly feel bad for [Black] women who feel like they can’t wear their natural hair outside. It can be cyclical too, though. Since they don’t feel comfortable wearing their natural hair out they don’t take care of it (too short for a pony tail, broken off, brittle, thin edges, etc…) because they’re going to get it done anyway. A lot of our Black women and girls have no middle ground (like you touched on). It’s either full glam or a bonnet and house slippers. The middle ground exists when you have that self love (I think). You start to understand that the middle ground is where it’s at. I might not have the 30” bust down, but this twist out I did is beautiful. I might not have the XXL full set, but I just gave myself a manicure and polished my nails - my hands look great. I may not have on a new fit, but the way I shopped my closet is a vibe. In my experience with White women it’s the makeup. A lot of [White] women will not come out of the house without makeup. I’ve been a teacher for 16 years - it starts in high school. FULL FACE every day. I feel so bad because I feel like since they do it every day, they must feel like they NEED to do it every day…when they don’t. Moral of the comment: fall in love with yourself…as you are. Great topic!
I'm white and I'm having to beat depression to convince myself it's ok to come out fully dressed because the standard is so low and they're going to bully me lol
If u ask Anthony Dicky, years ago, all these fancy hairstyles were truly reserved for special occasions. All the heat styles that we see now and the hair weaves and extensions were not a thing back in, I want to say the 60s. When my mom was coming up, my mom wore her hair in 2 strand twists, her wash days were on Sundays, and her hair was very long and healthy. We need to go back to that for real. It's just not necessary. I'm so glad I feel comfortable enough just to be me. I do feel a need sometimes to switch up. But most of the time, it's a natural style. Today I'm also in a 2 strand twist. My hair is mostly never in a style that doesn't require my own hair.
This is definitely true. I've worn my natural hair for most of my life (childhood-present). I always used to get invasive comments about when I'm going to get my hair done from other black girls in school. My hair was clean, moisturized, and put in a long ponytail. My white friends were never harassed like that to my knowledge. Only older black people like/compliment my hair. Black people my age are very rude about it generally speaking.
This was the downfall of my long hair as a preteen. It was long and healthy (as a blowdry natural) but not "done up" in popular styles or flat-ironed bone straight and girls still made fun of me. My mom was older when she had me so she didn't care for taking me to the salon and keeping up with current styles. But alas, I was a peer-pressured tween who wanted to be accepted by her classmates (who, in retrospect, were probably dishonest). Now that I'm a middle aged adult, turns out that actual protective styles aren't the cute and stylish ones that snatch your edges and break your ends over time. 🫠 My hair isn't THAT bad (mid length, edges still there) but I have a long road toward recovery. 🥲
I live in Atlanta. I’ve always had long hair so after getting past the “where’d you get your hair” assumptions, there is the “why don’t you ever go to a black salon”. I would get turned away as a kid at salons. It was like three people’s head. You’ll get one of three styles from me and that’s it😤🤣
2:16 gurl I cackled! I knew there was a reason I immediately liked you. I'm autistic and have ADHD, the way my thoughts be all over. You got a new subscriber. These thoughts are thoughts I will be thinking too! I'm a lazy natural and it's the best life. I one puff, two puff, mini twists, jumbo twists, mini braids, afro my way through life and it's a chill, low-maintenance life and I feel even more beautiful now that I'm aligned with my natural beauty standards. I love shrinkage, I don't mind if some days my curls aren't super defined, we ain't fazed by a Lil frizz! It's chill. Glad I found your channel! Oh and my hair grew from 1cm to shoulder length I two years post big chop. 💕
Girl I be struggling 😭😭😭 but I’m learning to b like that to be “lazy” is actually jus to be casual or natural. I’m fighting the urge to put in cornrows with green color bc I wanna spice it up but im tryna mature !
I just put purple As I am and Mofang combo in my hair over the weekend for my birthday!! Do the green!!! Have fun!! I think it would look so beautiful. And did I mention I just turned 26? Maturing is not caring and doing what brings you joy! 💚
I personally will be wearing my low maintenance but cute and sometimes asymmetrical hair "styles' 95% of the time. I'll ramp it up and down as I see fit based on how I feel! LOVE this topic lady
I actually think black women should do what makes them feel comfortable. I dont pay attention to what others do bc I do what I can afford.Ppl feel pressure bc they are comparing themselves. Forget comparison bc its a thief. I love clothes more than hair and do sales lol. But yes we need to talk about obsessive grooming like a million body washes and scrubs to prove how clean&feminine we are. Other races dont do that bc they never been told they stink or dirty for hundreds of years.
I love your commentaries, you’re very thoughtful and intuitive. It’s your voice that’s needed in a podcast or in articles. I love our beauty when we are just extra us, but I do hate that we can’t just be plain without looking undone. I don’t wear lashes, but my mascara is going to be POPPIN just to feel I’m looking as good as the basic black girl who is always lashed up. I’m too old to care but I care I wanna look good I don’t want to be middle age and BASIC. This is also so hard for our school girls.
This video was HIT! You made all the points and then some. White standards of beauty are not anything I'm trying to attain. Black people do the most, and I love it. I think it's actually because we're not a monolith. Other cultures /races of people lean heavily into uniformity, conformity, even precision. Black people we're very opposite of that. You can walk into a room full of blk ppl and not one person will be expressing themselves the same way. At first it can seems chaotic, even messy. Lol. But when you settle into the experience you feel the fluidity, connectedness, vibrancy of the people.
Black beauty standards aren’t even ours. We’ve gotten away from our own beauty and allowed the European standard to become our standard. Our beauty standard doesn’t even include our own natural hair. It’s crazy when you think about it. Me wearing my natural hair isn’t me in between hairstyles, I’m just embracing what I have naturally just like other races do.
I was just having this thought at work. I work in a white area and I see all the white girls my age doing the bare minimum but being so content and at peace with how they look, oversized shirt, running shorts, sneakers or sandals and hair in a claw clip like you said. And I thought to myself how can I get there? Why do I feel this pressure to look good all the time? Is it my vanity or is it the world forcing these impossible beauty standards that we have to live up to??? Or is it an internal battle of always having to represent your race to bypass the stereotypes and connotations associated with us???
I started going out the house with an afro and basic tees and shorts and nobody judges me cause I live in a mostly yt area. When I went to a blk school compared to yt school , blk kids are very materialistic and all about fashion. A lot of yt kids can be materialistic to but it is usually quiet luxury for example lululemon is just plain athletic clothing
I totally agree. The fact that "done-up" hairstyles is our baseline is problematic. We need to start normalizing black women wearing their natural hair as is like what lipglossssss said.
Interesting take, I am always torn between “it’s black culture to be extra, and people just don’t like it because of anti-blackness” and “black people shouldn’t have to always do the most, and sometimes it’s exhausting”. There’s a middle ground I think. Also, I firmly believe a lot of us do the most to compensate for being black. I think for example, the city girl look, is an overcompensation and we think it looks better than being “regular black”. I’m a black girl that does the least but I feel like it has prevented me from having a distorted view of what being black or being pretty and black looks like. Also, you and your hair are gorgeous! I’m currently in braids hoping the low manipulation will have my hair thick and long like yours ❤😭
I totally agree. I just let go of having "perfect" hair. Its hard but i feel free. I hated how every other thought was about how my hair needed to be done or something wasn't right about it or how i couldn't afford a braider just to get a break from my hair. I feel like worrying about my hair has hindered my creativity and overall mental thought process. I've been learning simple hair care and simple styles. I understand im a woman, and i need to maintain my appearance. But im sick of hair. It could just be where i am in life, but i think a simple style elevates a look.
I was literally thinking about this too the other day and I was saying how I really wanna just wear my actual hair more often and invest in its health so it can look good all the time ,without feeling the need to wear braids wigs etc to feel “done up “
I tried to dress up for a concert because I knew everyone was going to be dressed up. I was sweating and screaming and looked a mess. I was also uncomfortable. I said why am i dressed up to basically be in the dark. I've felt so much better looking basic. But I will pop out and show 🥷🏾 when I need to ❤
i think there’s plenty of ways to maintain natural hair without doin too much. we can do quite a lot actually. bun/puff variations, mini braids/twists, headwraps, flat twist/braid updos, cornrows, wash n go, etc - all of these can be maintained with a regular haircare routine that centers on hydration. each of those styles can look nice/presentable on their own too so you can still give neat/cute even without being all ‘done up’. AND those styles can easily be adorned with hair accessories or slick baby hairs (baby hairs take any look up a notch frfr) if you want to be more elaborate on a day. i agree that a balance should be struck so more Black people feel comfy and beautiful in their natural state, but i don’t think the balance is as difficult to strike as we may think. but it does start with gettin comfy with our natural state like constantly wearing lashes will have you thinking you look ‘dry’ or like you ‘missing sumn’ when you dont have them on when the whole kill is they were never meant to be an everyday accesory inna first place. spend more time without lashes and you’ll start to love your look without em. same applies to hair - spend more time exploring natural styles that work and you wont feel ‘undone’ if you dont have a wig or fresh braids in. all this bein said, i do wanna be careful not to conflate ‘comfort in your natural state’ with ‘messy/unkempt’ though lol like edges dont have to be laid but hair should still be tended to in some way (ie moisturized,brushed, whatever that looks like) and many will argue the notion that being presentable is equal to euro beauty standards 🤦🏽♀️ which i don’t get. great video though, kudos on starting the discussion ✊🏽
It’s apart of soulaan culture to look flashy, but not everybody’s a monolith. Now me personally I like to be extra is the way I like to express myself. I feel like if you’re comfortable in your skin you can do what you please with your style. But I’ve never really felt the pressure to put on. I just put on because I like to do it.
This is sooo true! I have lived in places like DC & ATL, you can only imagine. I got tired & I am okay with that…plus A LOT happier 😊🤲🏾❤ What do we do? We wear simple protective styles, take care of our beauty from the inside out…
It’s perfectionism. There should be certain standards for how you carry yourself, but it has ventured somewhere else. Our raw natural state is not seen as acceptable in our own communities and we aren’t really working to change that. We value aesthetics, achievements and performative masculinity above all else. I would dare say most of us dont see our inherent worth just as people we always have to be doing something. It’s as if only extraordinary people have value, but then again only extraordinary black people get recognition even among other black people. The values of the black community are very skewed everything is about saving face.
I think im plane because i don't do lace fronts. Or the lashes. I was a regular half wig type of girl. Now i wear my natural locs, and have been for almost 3 months. i dont wear makeup unless i go out to dinner. And thats Rarely.
I need to get my life together. it is not me wanting to be more extravagant, but more put together. We shouldn't step out into the world looking run down and burdened. Looking photo shoot is ready 24/7 isn't necessary either.
My family, community and neighborhood are very diverse in cultures and I seen it all. I’m Italian and my husband is Afro-Cuban. We definitely like to “show out” when we go out: dinner, date, wedding etc. We are the couple that gets all eyes when we walk into a room. It is definitely a struggle knowing how to dress because American (black and white) fashion standards are very different from our standards. I never feel underdressed because most people standards are so low regardless of if it is grocery shopping or going to the club. Unfortunately, I think the Govt Lockdown influenced people to try a little less. That being said - I also don’t condone extravagance. I think that people misconstrue getting dressed and style. I’m all for personal style - i just don’t think you should have to “transform” yourself to look nice and presentable. An event is one thing but everyday lashes and hair extensions and nails and heels screams insecure and a lot of times looks cheap. It’s all about balance. For someone like me that has gotten too much attention my whole life - a claw clip and a hoodie makes me feel invisible and I’m thinking a lot of people might prefer that. Wear what you like but inevitably people will judge you regardless of whether you’re over or underdressed …
starts from home youi going to school the store or just out like that we always have to go above and beyond but I think this goes back to slavery and always being presentable to be sold
Girl I love your content so much but girllll the thumbnail had me cringing!!! It’s giving freaky, sexual vibes. It’s giving… 👀 Idk girl. If you know what I mean. I really do love your content, personality and everything about you but if I were to see that thumbnail, I would get the wrong impression especially because I also look at you as someone who produces Christian content ❤ I love you girl and I hope this message doesn’t come off the wrong way 🙏 . Because I am saying this so humbly and with good intentions. ❤ I promise I am
@@alexandriacooper6054 🤢🤢 ew .. 😭😭 changing right now, my friend always said that’s my best pic I ever took so I thought it matched the topic ! Thank u sm for being honest cuz babyyyyy that’s not the vibe
After going to work and letting this marinate I feel like it’s important to say that for me.. this is a lifestyle and a cultural thing - people can say we’re doing too much or whatever but I’m proud to b extra 😭 I think we just have to find a way to keep our crowns healthy while we do it !!
As someone who plain Jane and like to be done up sometimes, I get tired of beauty expectations of black women. Sometimes I want to wear my old braids and not feel werid that I am not doing enough.
I feel like black women have to be done up all the time to avoid stereotypes and dirty jokes. It’s exhausting. Honestly in this economy, we are trying to save money and survive. Beauty can only take you so far
That’s one reason why I be doing my hair myself, I cant lose out on saving or experiences for a hairstyle. And that makes so much sense! Maybe the extravagance is to look wealthier or hygienic !
@@gorlunion and what’s crazy is nothing looks more hygienic than natural hair. Quiet as it’s kept the intricate styles bw wear makes non blk ppl think we don’t wash often since they equate hair washing with showering.
I wish people would embrace the plain Jane look more. I find it very charming and endearing. For someone like me that looks “Exotic” I feel like I always have to look very stylish and presentable otherwise I give off a wildly, aggressive look …
Everyday you're alive is a special occasion. Life itself is a special occasion
I definitely appreciate the extra-ness in the black community at times but I had to realize that its just not for me. Once I started keeping it simple then I became less stressed.
I remember hearing this girl on tik tok saying if you were black and grew up around predominantly white people there’s not much pressure on your hair to look laid ALL THE TIME. This girl said she would have month old box braids in and she would still get compliments from non-black people(majority being whites) saying how pretty her hair is, while black people would look at her hair as being “old” , “unkept” , and not “high maintenance”. This made her realize that black people make it harder on themselves at times and I couldn’t agree more . Y’all are pushing these unrealistic beauty standards and the reality is that we all can’t look like Jayda Wayda OR Ari everyday.. and that’s OKAY. Running your pockets empty to look like a celebrity 😭
Girl are you a sociology major because you're definitely doing sociological observations right now. We just haven't institutionalized these observations but this is Black sociology...
Yes yes yes! I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. the grooming standards for black women are way too high. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if we’re were the ones profiting off of these insecurities but we don’t even have our hands in beauty supply ownership or hair care lines. I thinks that’s why you see so many of us wearing locks. Including the men
Why are we always comparing ourselves to euro beauty standards? The black community has their own standards and that’s okay 🤷🏾♀️
You’re so right. We put all this extra pressure on ourselves. WW can do a simple claw clip ponytail and feel fabulous. But for some reason if baby hairs aren’t laid, ponytail ain’t slicked we look a “mess”
You made some really great points in this video. We do a whole lot just to look “acceptable”.
You made so many points! It’s so much work, so much time, so much money. We don’t even need all that
Honestly I think it starts with children.. I think criticizing little girls/boys hair is insane.. let it be wild, it’s almost like they equate your child’s hair not being brushed to the child being neglected
It's probably just where you live. I see regular looking black people at the time. When I see dressed up black people, I just think they look nice. I don't compare them to myself. But black people are super judgmental of other black people. We put ridiculous standards on each other. We expect each other to be perfect all the time, especially when it comes to hair. I prefer to be around more natural black women because they tend to judge our hair less. Like I don't need a 30 inch buss down and perfect, non-frizzy braids, and perfectly slicked back hair.
Tbh WP should have standards however, it’s for themselves. That shouldn’t have anything to do with the BC. And BW should have their own standards for themselves, because even beauty standards in the BC can be unrealistic/ harsh and a monolith.
What do we do? We work on ourselves. Work on our confidence…work on our self esteem…basically work on loving ourselves. That’s a catch phrase right? “Love yourself” - everyone says it…but people have to realize it’s actionable. You have to practice loving yourself…right? I honestly feel bad for [Black] women who feel like they can’t wear their natural hair outside. It can be cyclical too, though. Since they don’t feel comfortable wearing their natural hair out they don’t take care of it (too short for a pony tail, broken off, brittle, thin edges, etc…) because they’re going to get it done anyway. A lot of our Black women and girls have no middle ground (like you touched on). It’s either full glam or a bonnet and house slippers. The middle ground exists when you have that self love (I think). You start to understand that the middle ground is where it’s at. I might not have the 30” bust down, but this twist out I did is beautiful. I might not have the XXL full set, but I just gave myself a manicure and polished my nails - my hands look great. I may not have on a new fit, but the way I shopped my closet is a vibe.
In my experience with White women it’s the makeup. A lot of [White] women will not come out of the house without makeup. I’ve been a teacher for 16 years - it starts in high school. FULL FACE every day. I feel so bad because I feel like since they do it every day, they must feel like they NEED to do it every day…when they don’t.
Moral of the comment: fall in love with yourself…as you are.
Great topic!
I'm white and I'm having to beat depression to convince myself it's ok to come out fully dressed because the standard is so low and they're going to bully me lol
If u ask Anthony Dicky, years ago, all these fancy hairstyles were truly reserved for special occasions. All the heat styles that we see now and the hair weaves and extensions were not a thing back in, I want to say the 60s. When my mom was coming up, my mom wore her hair in 2 strand twists, her wash days were on Sundays, and her hair was very long and healthy. We need to go back to that for real. It's just not necessary. I'm so glad I feel comfortable enough just to be me. I do feel a need sometimes to switch up. But most of the time, it's a natural style. Today I'm also in a 2 strand twist. My hair is mostly never in a style that doesn't require my own hair.
Nooo cause my mom literally always tells me when you go outside you never know who you’re gonna see
This is definitely true. I've worn my natural hair for most of my life (childhood-present). I always used to get invasive comments about when I'm going to get my hair done from other black girls in school. My hair was clean, moisturized, and put in a long ponytail. My white friends were never harassed like that to my knowledge.
Only older black people like/compliment my hair. Black people my age are very rude about it generally speaking.
This was the downfall of my long hair as a preteen. It was long and healthy (as a blowdry natural) but not "done up" in popular styles or flat-ironed bone straight and girls still made fun of me. My mom was older when she had me so she didn't care for taking me to the salon and keeping up with current styles. But alas, I was a peer-pressured tween who wanted to be accepted by her classmates (who, in retrospect, were probably dishonest).
Now that I'm a middle aged adult, turns out that actual protective styles aren't the cute and stylish ones that snatch your edges and break your ends over time. 🫠 My hair isn't THAT bad (mid length, edges still there) but I have a long road toward recovery. 🥲
I live in Atlanta. I’ve always had long hair so after getting past the “where’d you get your hair” assumptions, there is the “why don’t you ever go to a black salon”.
I would get turned away as a kid at salons. It was like three people’s head. You’ll get one of three styles from me and that’s it😤🤣
2:16 gurl I cackled! I knew there was a reason I immediately liked you. I'm autistic and have ADHD, the way my thoughts be all over. You got a new subscriber. These thoughts are thoughts I will be thinking too! I'm a lazy natural and it's the best life. I one puff, two puff, mini twists, jumbo twists, mini braids, afro my way through life and it's a chill, low-maintenance life and I feel even more beautiful now that I'm aligned with my natural beauty standards. I love shrinkage, I don't mind if some days my curls aren't super defined, we ain't fazed by a Lil frizz! It's chill. Glad I found your channel! Oh and my hair grew from 1cm to shoulder length I two years post big chop. 💕
Girl I be struggling 😭😭😭 but I’m learning to b like that to be “lazy” is actually jus to be casual or natural. I’m fighting the urge to put in cornrows with green color bc I wanna spice it up but im tryna mature !
I just put purple As I am and Mofang combo in my hair over the weekend for my birthday!! Do the green!!! Have fun!! I think it would look so beautiful. And did I mention I just turned 26? Maturing is not caring and doing what brings you joy! 💚
I personally will be wearing my low maintenance but cute and sometimes asymmetrical hair "styles' 95% of the time. I'll ramp it up and down as I see fit based on how I feel! LOVE this topic lady
I actually think black women should do what makes them feel comfortable. I dont pay attention to what others do bc I do what I can afford.Ppl feel pressure bc they are comparing themselves. Forget comparison bc its a thief. I love clothes more than hair and do sales lol. But yes we need to talk about obsessive grooming like a million body washes and scrubs to prove how clean&feminine we are. Other races dont do that bc they never been told they stink or dirty for hundreds of years.
I'm a potato. Most black people I've come across are gorgeous/handsome then there's me. Looking homeless 24/7 😢
Same
I love your commentaries, you’re very thoughtful and intuitive. It’s your voice that’s needed in a podcast or in articles. I love our beauty when we are just extra us, but I do hate that we can’t just be plain without looking undone. I don’t wear lashes, but my mascara is going to be POPPIN just to feel I’m looking as good as the basic black girl who is always lashed up. I’m too old to care but I care I wanna look good I don’t want to be middle age and BASIC. This is also so hard for our school girls.
This video was HIT! You made all the points and then some. White standards of beauty are not anything I'm trying to attain. Black people do the most, and I love it. I think it's actually because we're not a monolith. Other cultures /races of people lean heavily into uniformity, conformity, even precision. Black people we're very opposite of that. You can walk into a room full of blk ppl and not one person will be expressing themselves the same way. At first it can seems chaotic, even messy. Lol. But when you settle into the experience you feel the fluidity, connectedness, vibrancy of the people.
This is a valid point. I never even looked it at this way, but that it is so true.
Black beauty standards aren’t even ours. We’ve gotten away from our own beauty and allowed the European standard to become our standard. Our beauty standard doesn’t even include our own natural hair. It’s crazy when you think about it. Me wearing my natural hair isn’t me in between hairstyles, I’m just embracing what I have naturally just like other races do.
Your natural hair is so beautiful 😍
@@tammya5403 girl I literally JUS screamed bc there was a bug in my hair after chilling outside 😭🙁 im ready to put in some cornrows 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Love your points! And I absolutely love your crown😍😍😍💖💖💖
I was just having this thought at work. I work in a white area and I see all the white girls my age doing the bare minimum but being so content and at peace with how they look, oversized shirt, running shorts, sneakers or sandals and hair in a claw clip like you said. And I thought to myself how can I get there? Why do I feel this pressure to look good all the time? Is it my vanity or is it the world forcing these impossible beauty standards that we have to live up to??? Or is it an internal battle of always having to represent your race to bypass the stereotypes and connotations associated with us???
I started going out the house with an afro and basic tees and shorts and nobody judges me cause I live in a mostly yt area.
When I went to a blk school compared to yt school , blk kids are very materialistic and all about fashion. A lot of yt kids can be materialistic to but it is usually quiet luxury for example lululemon is just plain athletic clothing
I totally agree. The fact that "done-up" hairstyles is our baseline is problematic. We need to start normalizing black women wearing their natural hair as is like what lipglossssss said.
Interesting take, I am always torn between “it’s black culture to be extra, and people just don’t like it because of anti-blackness” and “black people shouldn’t have to always do the most, and sometimes it’s exhausting”. There’s a middle ground I think. Also, I firmly believe a lot of us do the most to compensate for being black. I think for example, the city girl look, is an overcompensation and we think it looks better than being “regular black”. I’m a black girl that does the least but I feel like it has prevented me from having a distorted view of what being black or being pretty and black looks like.
Also, you and your hair are gorgeous! I’m currently in braids hoping the low manipulation will have my hair thick and long like yours ❤😭
I totally agree. I just let go of having "perfect" hair. Its hard but i feel free. I hated how every other thought was about how my hair needed to be done or something wasn't right about it or how i couldn't afford a braider just to get a break from my hair. I feel like worrying about my hair has hindered my creativity and overall mental thought process. I've been learning simple hair care and simple styles. I understand im a woman, and i need to maintain my appearance. But im sick of hair. It could just be where i am in life, but i think a simple style elevates a look.
We as black people definitely eattttts ❤
I was literally thinking about this too the other day and I was saying how I really wanna just wear my actual hair more often and invest in its health so it can look good all the time ,without feeling the need to wear braids wigs etc to feel “done up “
I tried to dress up for a concert because I knew everyone was going to be dressed up. I was sweating and screaming and looked a mess. I was also uncomfortable. I said why am i dressed up to basically be in the dark. I've felt so much better looking basic. But I will pop out and show 🥷🏾 when I need to ❤
i think there’s plenty of ways to maintain natural hair without doin too much. we can do quite a lot actually. bun/puff variations, mini braids/twists, headwraps, flat twist/braid updos, cornrows, wash n go, etc - all of these can be maintained with a regular haircare routine that centers on hydration. each of those styles can look nice/presentable on their own too so you can still give neat/cute even without being all ‘done up’. AND those styles can easily be adorned with hair accessories or slick baby hairs (baby hairs take any look up a notch frfr) if you want to be more elaborate on a day. i agree that a balance should be struck so more Black people feel comfy and beautiful in their natural state, but i don’t think the balance is as difficult to strike as we may think. but it does start with gettin comfy with our natural state like constantly wearing lashes will have you thinking you look ‘dry’ or like you ‘missing sumn’ when you dont have them on when the whole kill is they were never meant to be an everyday accesory inna first place. spend more time without lashes and you’ll start to love your look without em. same applies to hair - spend more time exploring natural styles that work and you wont feel ‘undone’ if you dont have a wig or fresh braids in. all this bein said, i do wanna be careful not to conflate ‘comfort in your natural state’ with ‘messy/unkempt’ though lol like edges dont have to be laid but hair should still be tended to in some way (ie moisturized,brushed, whatever that looks like) and many will argue the notion that being presentable is equal to euro beauty standards 🤦🏽♀️ which i don’t get. great video though, kudos on starting the discussion ✊🏽
It’s apart of soulaan culture to look flashy, but not everybody’s a monolith. Now me personally I like to be extra is the way I like to express myself. I feel like if you’re comfortable in your skin you can do what you please with your style. But I’ve never really felt the pressure to put on. I just put on because I like to do it.
@@Pickythicky that’s real talk! I feel like im the same way but when my hair start suffering I be having to set back and say what am I doing
This is sooo true! I have lived in places like DC & ATL, you can only imagine. I got tired & I am okay with that…plus A LOT happier 😊🤲🏾❤
What do we do? We wear simple protective styles, take care of our beauty from the inside out…
Fr then people stay saying when u finna get ur hair done or I can’t o ur hair like no my hair is already done
I love your videos
The black community takes too much pride in how we look
It’s perfectionism. There should be certain standards for how you carry yourself, but it has ventured somewhere else. Our raw natural state is not seen as acceptable in our own communities and we aren’t really working to change that. We value aesthetics, achievements and performative masculinity above all else. I would dare say most of us dont see our inherent worth just as people we always have to be doing something. It’s as if only extraordinary people have value, but then again only extraordinary black people get recognition even among other black people. The values of the black community are very skewed everything is about saving face.
Performative being the key word. I feel like black people are always trying to prove something to others especially other races.
I’m extra very day. I don’t care. I just smile and keep it moving.
@@JaushaWu as u should mama !! After I made this video I was like mmm I can’t tone this down but I needa save my edges 😭😭
IDK... I see all ppl wearing PJ's in public. They all look crazy to me.
I think im plane because i don't do lace fronts. Or the lashes. I was a regular half wig type of girl. Now i wear my natural locs, and have been for almost 3 months. i dont wear makeup unless i go out to dinner. And thats Rarely.
The truth is we’re the pinnacle of beauty standards. U said we can’t even keep up w/ our own trends im cryin 😩💯 I enjoyed this video.
I need to get my life together. it is not me wanting to be more extravagant, but more put together. We shouldn't step out into the world looking run down and burdened. Looking photo shoot is ready 24/7 isn't necessary either.
My family, community and neighborhood are very diverse in cultures and I seen it all. I’m Italian and my husband is Afro-Cuban. We definitely like to “show out” when we go out: dinner, date, wedding etc. We are the couple that gets all eyes when we walk into a room. It is definitely a struggle knowing how to dress because American (black and white) fashion standards are very different from our standards. I never feel underdressed because most people standards are so low regardless of if it is grocery shopping or going to the club. Unfortunately, I think the Govt Lockdown influenced people to try a little less.
That being said - I also don’t condone extravagance. I think that people misconstrue getting dressed and style. I’m all for personal style - i just don’t think you should have to “transform” yourself to look nice and presentable. An event is one thing but everyday lashes and hair extensions and nails and heels screams insecure and a lot of times looks cheap. It’s all about balance.
For someone like me that has gotten too much attention my whole life - a claw clip and a hoodie makes me feel invisible and I’m thinking a lot of people might prefer that.
Wear what you like but inevitably people will judge you regardless of whether you’re over or underdressed …
starts from home youi going to school the store or just out like that we always have to go above and beyond but I think this goes back to slavery and always being presentable to be sold
Girl I love your content so much but girllll the thumbnail had me cringing!!! It’s giving freaky, sexual vibes. It’s giving… 👀 Idk girl.
If you know what I mean.
I really do love your content, personality and everything about you but if I were to see that thumbnail, I would get the wrong impression especially because I also look at you as someone who produces Christian content ❤
I love you girl and I hope this message doesn’t come off the wrong way 🙏 . Because I am saying this so humbly and with good intentions. ❤ I promise I am
@@alexandriacooper6054 🤢🤢 ew .. 😭😭 changing right now, my friend always said that’s my best pic I ever took so I thought it matched the topic ! Thank u sm for being honest cuz babyyyyy that’s not the vibe
@@alexandriacooper6054 mkay jus changed it u like the new one?
Wait what?? lmao 🤣 🤣 😂😂
Hey Ashley, what's your IG?
Respectability politics - it's a result of some great things and some bad things. Either way🫶🏾🤎🫶🏾 love to us all.