Jared using a 'filter' as an example and saying it gets dirty sometimes is such a wonderful analogy to real life relationships. He can communicate and express himself so well and in an organized rare way for males. You guys are beautiful 💕
Aw, I feel Jared's pain when he was talking. He almost becomes small when he was saying that he worked at being nice and didn't want it to be abused. I felt it. Not sure if I am explaining myself correctly.....
I need to learn to react slow. That's such a good way to describe what that is - that whole waiting, thinking, processing, instead of just BAM REACTION. Thanks for that idea, Jared.
Kate Hickey girl you’re not alone! My quick mouth (also like her) gets me into trouble. Thoughts in my head filling gaps of what I’m assuming is happening. My old man is sleeping but when he’s up and ready I’m showing him this video. I have learned SO MUCH in these 12 minutes
My favorite part of this video was when you said "I'm meaner than you" and he said no I learned and you can too. I have those inclinations and I choose differently. A lot of times we create these dynamics I'm like this and you're like that because it's comfortable or to absolve us from the responsibility of those actions.
I agree with J when he said that no one is naturally nice to each other and we have to learn how and practice to be nice and more calm during that heightened state of conflict 😎
Omg girl you are speaking from the depths of my soul, when I'm upset I literally go DEAD quiet and it always bothers my boyfriend bc he's always like I'd rather you yell at me and be mean (if that's what you need) than just to shut me out. But it's literally like you said, I just don't want to hurt him and that's why I stay quiet. It's something I'm working on but it is a struggle 😩
This is gonna seem really sexist but it almost made me cry to watch Jared be so liberal in his vulnerability. I don't see this in a lot of men.I just . Love
Communication is always key. You guys seem to have that down. As far as that goes you guys will be alright. To those that don't know. This is what communication should look like. It should be treated like a two way radio. One person talks, the other listens and vise versa. Also do your best to feel what the other person is saying, try not to think of what you want to say next until the other person is finish talking. They are showing a good example. Good Job you guys. This will not be the reason you two break up.
You can see how much respect they have for eachother...especially when he said 6:23 "i didn't mean to cut you off" i was dating something recently who i very much liked but as we spend more time together i realized more and more he had some real narcissistic issues..like he would constantly cut me off..or we would ask me about an experience and i would be telling him the story but then he would just randomly cut me off and says: Yo i really need to go to gym again and start eating healthy did i tell you about my grandfather when he was younger? Well he...blabla" and if be like...um wtf? I wasnt done telling my story but go ahead...sometimes he noticed my changing mood and he'd be like: are you mad cause i interrupted you babe? But like in a half teasing way and id be like...no of course not in fine:) cause i didnt wanna seem like a stroppy girl who gets offended by little things...but eventually it really started to shut me down and i got more quiet with him, rarely telling a story anymore...submissive...he barely noticed or maybe he even liked how he was changing me... then i ended it. It was really weird how eventhough this person who clearly had no respect for me still got like weird hold on me...like i disliked him but i still wanted him and wanted to be his. i know i got off easy cause now that i look back it could definitely have progressed to some sort of emotional abusive relationship. Sorry for ranting about this on youtube to anyone who read this far lol i just start typing and before you know it you're 5 pages along lolol
I feel you! And thanks for sharing :) I was in a relationship where I also started to subdue my personality to become more approachable, or being of what I thought would be right for my partner. But it just made me misrable, and I hated myself, because so many times I would put up with things that deep down inside felt wrong and hurt me. Talk about not listening to your inner voice and intuition. Communication is key to having a good and healthy relationship - like you should have said to this guy, "I'm not feeling that you cut me off, if you don't stop I can't be in this relationship" - and communication with OURSELVES is just as important, like you are describing, "I want him, but I dislike him, how can this be?" and talking about the subject instead of dismissing these conversations all together.
Eli Mo yes exactly that! Lol Im glad someone understood my rambling! And that relationship you had does sound a lot like what i was experiencing. I dont know about you but I guess i've always been kind of a "people pleaser" so it is hard for me to confront someone especially when it come to intimate relationships. My logic when things arent going as well is usually either avoid and shove under the rug or thinking Imust be doing something wrong so how can i change myself so it will all be cool again you know? luckily I'm aware that i tend to be this way or do these things so i have the ability to work on them. I'm in my early twenties so i still have a long way to go in life so hope maybe in at least another 20 years ill be more content with myself and where i stand:) i hope the same for you ofcourse or maybe you already are :)
T J if you are only in your early twenties you already have a lot of knowledge on how to deal with your "people-pleaser"- personality. You are more self-aware of your habits in relationships and that you need to put yourself first in any situation. I'm in my early 30s and still learning. I have become a lot better, and I do recognize myself in the behavior which you are describing in relationships. I wasn't as aware of these patterns in my twenties, but now I'm trying to take the bull by the horns. I wish you will do the same for yourself, why wait 20 years when you can start today :)
I get what you're saying.. I also dated this guy for a couple of weeks, I would talk about something and he'd seem so disinterested. He never wanted to listen and would always want to spend time with his friends. It's so irritating that when the r/ship is new we never want to seem like the things you are.
Listen, I get it. I have autism, so I info-dump and an Very long-winded. I had an ex that would ask a question and then say "--wait... Before you start, is this gon be long as Hell? Because I need the 5-minute version instead of the 5 week version". I led me to be more vocal digitally than in person with people. I'm in therapy for it, because she wasn't the first partner to do things like that. It hurts, but glad you're free and I'm free
I appreciate your time so much! Thank you for checkin this video and anywhere else you look up my name. I will say Anchor is definitely a place for US meaning we all literally have an equal voice there (you get to call in and be apart of the daily show) so I hope to see you there!
Shannon have you ever seen the movie "Barney's Version"? The dynamic between Paul Giamatti and Rosamund Pike is so in tune with what you're covering in this video. There's a part where as her husband, he didn't deliver on something she communicated meant a lot to him, and instead of creating distance, she saw the value in respectfully expressing her disappointment. He immediately jumped to thinking she wanted him to sleep on the couch, to which she responds "don't feel sorry for yourself, come get into bed". It kind of opened my eyes to the idea that it's healthy to argue and communicate what you expect from your partner without making it into some sort of punishment. It's just not the most productive method, and you really demonstrated that here. The content you put out is outstanding. I realized just today that I've watched your videos for years, and have never reached out to let you know just how thought provoking and enticing you are. How unfortunate, to know that there are plenty of people like me, who feel so impacted by you, yet have never left a damn comment to let you know. You can always count on my support, even if it isn't vocalized as often as I'm now realizing it should be.
The level of maturity and open communication in your relationship is rare. I agree on 90% of your statements and points of view but it's been really hard to find someone to share the same values and mindset. most of the open conversations i had with the guyz i've dated led to a misunderstanding or an argument. So it's really refreshing to see 2 people that open, mature and sophisticated in their daily communications.
Yall are so smart and logical about this relationship. I have never been in a real relationship. I'm afraid to speak my mind and then I turn around to just speak with no filter. I end up saying things rudely or mean when I was being genuine. I feel immediately attacked when questioned and I can honestly blame my thought process on my family life. My family is/has/was verbally and physically abused each other in many shapes and forms. I've learned to be tough and rude when it comes to explaining my side of things, but I'm generally nice and sensitive on my own. I stay putting on this front that if I can't be tough about everything I say or do, then I'll get walked over, i.e. more abused verbally or physically. It's something I have to work on and I realize this. It's hard though and so I'm learning from yall.
I relate to this so well. My husband and I go through these stages as well where we are just off sync. It's a very frustrating feeling because we both acknowledge that it's a temporary part of our relationship and we just have to ride it out. Over communicate and eventually we will get right back on track. Everything you put out is just so reassuring and comforting to know that others go through these same phases. Adore you!
I was real fucking confused for a second. I was like "Wait, didn't I see this? Oh shit don't tell me the eclipse put me into a loop where everyday is the same." *Phew*
This is a lovely example of strong communication in a relationship. You're both so self-aware and are able to express your feelings directly. Thanks for sharing.
seeing you two talk through stuff like this really inspires me to be honest with the people that are important to me because as hard as it is, it's important to be honest and transparent in working through things so that relationships last. Thank you so much.
Wow! I'm impressed that you two were able to sit down and record this video. Sharing something so personal takes a lot of courage, but I'm grateful that you two are willing to share in order to teach us more about relationships.
I think people just need to realize the importance of being completely honest and the direction that lies and deceit takes a relationship. Love watching you guys. Love you Shan!
I want to have this kind of conversation with my partner very open minded, answering questions with so much honesty and confident. I like you guys and I want to see more of your videos.
I'm so happy ya'll made this video. Whenever me and my girlfriend get into any kind of fight or argument we always sit down and have real talks like this. Breakdown what's really behind the attacking behavior. Reacting slow is a phrase that's gonna be on my mind forever now.
Really admire the relationship you two share, the connection of complete respect of the others being- being aloud to speak freely. The attention you can see given for the understanding of each other. Not to just respond. Watching, an learning about the journey you two are on gives me hope. That one day I can also share that with someone. Thank you two for being real, an wish you two all the best in life with growing together. Looking forward to watching you both succeed in life 🙏😊
You guys have a truly beautiful energy together that really shines on your relationship. The beautiful thing for which I am grateful for is the honesty behind your content, which is to be honest refreshing due to all of the relationships that only show their good sides. You can feel and see the love, respect and honesty, which I deeply respect. Really love your work and the energy you're sending.
I've recently been wondering if I am capable of being in a healthy relationship, but you guys proved to me that all healthy relationships have troubling times, and it's how you work thru them that counts. Thanks for the reassurance!
This video has taught me so much about communication in all forms of relationships. Co workers, friends, family, ect. How are we talking to one another? Why? What area in yourself are you trying to protect? What are you afraid of? What matters at the end of the day? Do you care about that person? Do they care about you? What proff of postive change and growth have you seen in yourself as a result of the relationship? Why do I do what I do, why do you do what you do? and on and on... It really comes down to this, everyone is trying to do two things: 1.Self protect and Preserve 2. To be understood and understand But none of this can happen without both parties choosing to be vulnerable and honesty. Powerful stuff thank you for sharing.
I LOVE this video with you two. It's clear that you two were going through something, but the fact that you literally sat down and had a conversation is so powerful. From my experience, relationship issues oftentimes go unresolved because one or more parties is unwilling to be real and talk things out. Not yelling, not sarcasm, not passive aggressive jabs, gas lighting, or playing the victim. An actual dialogue where each party speaks and is heard. I wish you both health and happiness, no matter how things end up. ❤️
I'm so excited but this has nothing to do with the video! But I got jared's music on Apple Music, maybe I'm late but congratulations JARED!!!!!! You coming up boo! I'll make sure I play it loud with the windows down here in Tennessee so people can hear this greatness!!!
I love this! ❤❤❤ The fact that you guys can talk this openly and direct, while also keeping the love, respect and trying to solve issues is inspiring. Which is how relationships should be, but its just the flow and way of speaking you two have is so cool and loving. I would love to come to that place, but it is a task. I've been trying to in my own relationship not be combative, aggressive or judgemental and just intentionally listen to understand. It just hard when you partner is like, what I think is what I think and that's just how it's going to be. Thank you Shannon for these videos, it is very inspiring and helpful.
Wow! I love, love, love, they way you guys communicate! It's like nothing I have ever seen before. It's really beautiful! From a girls perspective, Shannon....girlll.....he is golden! Most men can't communicate or articulate their thoughts this way. He's a keeper. And Shannon you are a master at communication. You give him the space and time to think and speak without interrupting him. I'm learned a lot from this!! Great video. Thank you!
I love the way he expresses himself! He is sharing his feeling but u can tell he is a very confidant man and will move on if its not beneficial to him. With love.
I really LOVE the open dialogue and awareness of yourselves as individuals (and collectively). It's an example of true genuine/divine love! Blessings to you both!💓
holy fucking shit. i love you both so much. this is very emotional (even with straight face and rational conversation) and very very good conversation. I love this. Thank you.
*SNAPS FOR THIS CONTENT* I’m snapping every 2 minutes yallllllll! This is so vulnerable and beautiful and HELPFUL. I’ve had a relationship with a level of this honesty and I’m so happy to see it full blown in you two. I can’t wait for everything else you guys have up your sleeves. I love you two. I support you. You’re just two very lovely humans.
I think you both are awesome individuals. My partner and I both watch your videos and we admire your honesty, openness, and knowledge of how you work individually and together. Keep on being an inspiration and educator for us.
I just matured 10 years from this conversation. So open and beautiful, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this, sharing how we can resolve things in such manners. Sending 💛
I have bad issues with communication and unhealthy arguments because I think running/pushing away is the only way i feel better, along with reacting with emotions ( anger, sadness) without actually listening. I’m so blessed to have your videos because i watch them and realize my mistakes and learn and tell my boyfriend how I can do better, and even tell him how he can do better (without starting a argument)
"Now are you gonna come half way or nah?" Those standards, self love and mutual respect shine through and I need more practice with them, especially when stakes are high. Thank you both for an insightful, honest video. Thank you for the vulnerability.
WOW! this was such an amazing conversation between you too! I learned something....... the part you said something about not needing to create space/awkwardness/negative emotions like jealousy.... to get a reaction/response from your partner or to bring your partner closer. Funny enough I did that last week with mine. I shouldn't have. I could have just easily communicated what I was feeling instead of using something to emotionally manipulate the situation to close the space/tension that had been created out of silence. Thank you Shan!
Thank you for opening up to us and giving us an example of healthy and honest communication, this video is very helpful. I learned how important communication really is.
Think it's awesome that you both can communicate. I read something about silences being a form of abuse...so the fact that you both talk about your relationship is admirable. ❤️
I really connected with this video! I am like you Shannon where I get very emotional and just body up what I am feeling because I don't wanna say something I am going to regret or don't really mean. And my boyfriend is very similar to yours in the ways that he takes me needing some space; just so too heart and becomes insecure about himself and his abilities to make situations better. I also really connected with the part where you guys were speaking on having filters. And having to always remember and remind myself the person I am in a relationship with, is a good person and to understand what they are really wanting and not to overthink or overreact to something they do. This is a issue I deal with now; just because I am so sensitive.
I love watching you two. So many people throw hate at you for being in an open relationship but really idk many couples that communicate on this level. So open and honest! It's really beautiful!
OH MY GOODNESS!!! I watch all of your videos and I am so thankful I found your corner of the internet! Can you please talk about how you/y'all learned to communicate in the way that you do!!!
I watched this before and was just as happy to watch it again. Pure awesome sauce. I'm utterly admiring the emotional maturity and openness. So cool. Thanks for sharing again. I'm glad you did. 🙂
Really really loved this video. I learned so much at a time where I'm in a rocky place in my relationship of 4 years. I am the type of person to get upset at my partner and do the whole "punishment" thing, and it's come to the point where he is distancing himself because he doesn't want to argue or feel punished. I think watching reality tv and watching my parents has some influence on this behavior. Deep down I don't want to yell or punish, I really want to communicate and talk about it. However, because this wall is built between us he doesn't want to. He has never actually been the type to want to talk it out, as Jarod mentioned men tend to hold things in and push it forward. So there's a big tug and pull situation I'm going through but watching this video has opened my eyes and given me hope that we can push past it and I will work on being more gentle in times of anger and he can work on communicating with me more.
As a guy I'm learning more about myself as a human from this channel because it explains what guys are going through and this channel shows the 2 side of the coin and let's us see the contrast in them .
Libra Aries dynamic. Opposites attract and have a lot to learn from each other. I love seeing this growth between y’all it’s very inspiring. You guys show maturity and accountability. It’s quite clear that you two have the same goal and keeping that in mind has kept you patient with each other 💛
This video is exactly what I needed right now. I've been in this funk and it just has been making me feel so insecure. I absolutely look up yo you Shannon and to see this video and all those familiar feelings just really hit close to home. Thanks so much for sharing such a personal side of your relationship. I think that so many people hide the negative part of their relationships that so many of us don't even know what an argument should look like. We get stuck with all these thoughts like is this person right for me or is something else going on instead of just riding out the wave.
My man and I are soooooo going through the same thing right now and having this as a basis to start a conversation about our relationship moving forward and get over the surface level stuff I think is going to be a great thing so thank you for your openness!
Wow. Communication goals! I’ve been binge watching your channel today and I’m fascinated. I’ve never understood how an open relationship could work with anyone and I personally could never be a part of one but I am open to seeing things through another’s perspective. I feel enriched and just a little more evolved after watching your videos. I’m a fan! 💛
Jesus...I felt what Jared said about being nice .....learning to be that way, but not wanting it abused......this is exactly how I feel about what I'm going thru right now 😩
Thought it was funny that, before Jared was talking bout reading your love for him on your face, I was just thinking shan is hanging on every word from his mouth. You can tell by her body Language and facial expression that she has the utmost respect for him.
The way ya'll communicate is dope. I'm learning a lot just watchin your interaction. I'm not one to trust people in general with my feelings but I see how it is beneficial in a relationship.
I saw some of your videos and then actually looked for content like this, knew there would be something like this that could help me gain some clarity in what I'm going through right now, and so I'm just very thankful for this convo! hope you make more like it, thanks! :)
I love that you guys are able to communicate so well n have intellectual conversation. It's obvious you guys have respect for one another and a real friendship first! It's so refreshing to see that in a world of side chicks, fake love, and social media. 😍😍 thank you please keep making videos ! Especially the ones that stimulate our brains 🙌🏽👏🏽
I can relate to the nice part... it's learned. People aren't naturally nice it's something you learn by you're own experience or seeing how you treat another's.. we honestly can mean and nasty too but we choose not too!.. ahh idk that part just got to me! I love this types of videos!
4:20 was so true. I’m not sure most realize this though. We tend to say thing with different meaning not in a direct way. That filter analogy was on point
It is nice to see you both interact with eachother. You both give off a very calm, loving vibe together. It is clear you both have built genuine intimacy...
Bella Brownskin thats interesting because i thought it was the other way around. It seems to me like this was more his idea because before they went public she never mentioned open relationships in her videos
Bella Brownskin I think its the other way around! Shannon is going along with it Jared wants it... he said she pulled the card... Im thinking she said she didnt want to do it anymore which maybe why they are having their issues! But, I might be wrong... 🤷🏾♀️
I am thinking she pulled the card meaning she decided to date someone she had an interest in at a moment when they are not on the same page. Also sounds like she's mean when they argue
I don't think they should have moved in together so fast especially since there in a open relationship its just stress on more stress. Also who ever there dating on the side would obviously want to hang out at there apartment but thats awkward because now they live together.
I learned a lot from this video, and it kept me in check and brought me back to reality in terms of checking in and communicating with people in my life
Shan I look up to you two so much I'm currently talking to this girl I swear it's the most mature love I've ever experienced because I've learned to be more patient and more communicative it's really satisfying when you and your partner understand that you're both going through life and you've had separate experiences and combining that with each other but understand because you two are both individuals that sometimes things get hard
Wow! Thank you for sharing this ✨👏🏼 self reflection is something only the brave care and are able to do 💕💕 I hope you both know that by exposing yourselves this way it's huge for us, for me at least💖 I appreciate you both so much because it helps me look into myself and my relationships. You both are wonderful people, you deserve each other! I'm rooting for u guys, love it that the two videos I've watched today you end up kissing 😍💖
If all couples had this kind of conversation after a fight, they'll last forever. This is so healthy
Jared using a 'filter' as an example and saying it gets dirty sometimes is such a wonderful analogy to real life relationships. He can communicate and express himself so well and in an organized rare way for males. You guys are beautiful 💕
Chloe' Flowers any idea if they're still together ?
@@isabellamacae1 Boo. They're married with a baby on the way.
N. O. Haha Ik. I made that comment 2 years ago, happy for them!
@@isabellamacae1 my bad. Lol.
Aw, I feel Jared's pain when he was talking. He almost becomes small when he was saying that he worked at being nice and didn't want it to be abused. I felt it. Not sure if I am explaining myself correctly.....
I need to learn to react slow. That's such a good way to describe what that is - that whole waiting, thinking, processing, instead of just BAM REACTION. Thanks for that idea, Jared.
Kate Hickey girl you’re not alone! My quick mouth (also like her) gets me into trouble. Thoughts in my head filling gaps of what I’m assuming is happening.
My old man is sleeping but when he’s up and ready I’m showing him this video. I have learned SO MUCH in these 12 minutes
This is the most healthy relationship I've ever seen😍
right!!😍😍😍
it,s easy to say that when you don't see the fights. lol
My favorite part of this video was when you said "I'm meaner than you" and he said no I learned and you can too. I have those inclinations and I choose differently. A lot of times we create these dynamics I'm like this and you're like that because it's comfortable or to absolve us from the responsibility of those actions.
+travellingfemme agreed 100
I agree with J when he said that no one is naturally nice to each other and we have to learn how and practice to be nice and more calm during that heightened state of conflict 😎
This level of intimacy, love and respect is my goal. So beautiful.
Omg girl you are speaking from the depths of my soul, when I'm upset I literally go DEAD quiet and it always bothers my boyfriend bc he's always like I'd rather you yell at me and be mean (if that's what you need) than just to shut me out. But it's literally like you said, I just don't want to hurt him and that's why I stay quiet. It's something I'm working on but it is a struggle 😩
Me too, I do not respond. I need to work at responding though ;)
This is gonna seem really sexist but it almost made me cry to watch Jared be so liberal in his vulnerability. I don't see this in a lot of men.I just . Love
Emotional intelligence on point
Communication is always key. You guys seem to have that down. As far as that goes you guys will be alright. To those that don't know. This is what communication should look like. It should be treated like a two way radio. One person talks, the other listens and vise versa. Also do your best to feel what the other person is saying, try not to think of what you want to say next until the other person is finish talking. They are showing a good example. Good Job you guys. This will not be the reason you two break up.
You can see how much respect they have for eachother...especially when he said 6:23 "i didn't mean to cut you off" i was dating something recently who i very much liked but as we spend more time together i realized more and more he had some real narcissistic issues..like he would constantly cut me off..or we would ask me about an experience and i would be telling him the story but then he would just randomly cut me off and says: Yo i really need to go to gym again and start eating healthy did i tell you about my grandfather when he was younger? Well he...blabla" and if be like...um wtf? I wasnt done telling my story but go ahead...sometimes he noticed my changing mood and he'd be like: are you mad cause i interrupted you babe? But like in a half teasing way and id be like...no of course not in fine:) cause i didnt wanna seem like a stroppy girl who gets offended by little things...but eventually it really started to shut me down and i got more quiet with him, rarely telling a story anymore...submissive...he barely noticed or maybe he even liked how he was changing me... then i ended it. It was really weird how eventhough this person who clearly had no respect for me still got like weird hold on me...like i disliked him but i still wanted him and wanted to be his. i know i got off easy cause now that i look back it could definitely have progressed to some sort of emotional abusive relationship. Sorry for ranting about this on youtube to anyone who read this far lol i just start typing and before you know it you're 5 pages along lolol
I feel you! And thanks for sharing :) I was in a relationship where I also started to subdue my personality to become more approachable, or being of what I thought would be right for my partner. But it just made me misrable, and I hated myself, because so many times I would put up with things that deep down inside felt wrong and hurt me. Talk about not listening to your inner voice and intuition. Communication is key to having a good and healthy relationship - like you should have said to this guy, "I'm not feeling that you cut me off, if you don't stop I can't be in this relationship" - and communication with OURSELVES is just as important, like you are describing, "I want him, but I dislike him, how can this be?" and talking about the subject instead of dismissing these conversations all together.
Eli Mo yes exactly that! Lol Im glad someone understood my rambling! And that relationship you had does sound a lot like what i was experiencing. I dont know about you but I guess i've always been kind of a "people pleaser" so it is hard for me to confront someone especially when it come to intimate relationships. My logic when things arent going as well is usually either avoid and shove under the rug or thinking Imust be doing something wrong so how can i change myself so it will all be cool again you know? luckily I'm aware that i tend to be this way or do these things so i have the ability to work on them. I'm in my early twenties so i still have a long way to go in life so hope maybe in at least another 20 years ill be more content with myself and where i stand:) i hope the same for you ofcourse or maybe you already are :)
T J if you are only in your early twenties you already have a lot of knowledge on how to deal with your "people-pleaser"- personality. You are more self-aware of your habits in relationships and that you need to put yourself first in any situation. I'm in my early 30s and still learning. I have become a lot better, and I do recognize myself in the behavior which you are describing in relationships. I wasn't as aware of these patterns in my twenties, but now I'm trying to take the bull by the horns. I wish you will do the same for yourself, why wait 20 years when you can start today :)
I get what you're saying.. I also dated this guy for a couple of weeks, I would talk about something and he'd seem so disinterested. He never wanted to listen and would always want to spend time with his friends. It's so irritating that when the r/ship is new we never want to seem like the things you are.
Listen, I get it. I have autism, so I info-dump and an Very long-winded. I had an ex that would ask a question and then say "--wait... Before you start, is this gon be long as Hell? Because I need the 5-minute version instead of the 5 week version". I led me to be more vocal digitally than in person with people. I'm in therapy for it, because she wasn't the first partner to do things like that. It hurts, but glad you're free and I'm free
I appreciate your time so much! Thank you for checkin this video and anywhere else you look up my name. I will say Anchor is definitely a place for US meaning we all literally have an equal voice there (you get to call in and be apart of the daily show) so I hope to see you there!
Shannon have you ever seen the movie "Barney's Version"?
The dynamic between Paul Giamatti and Rosamund Pike is so in tune with what you're covering in this video. There's a part where as her husband, he didn't deliver on something she communicated meant a lot to him, and instead of creating distance, she saw the value in respectfully expressing her disappointment. He immediately jumped to thinking she wanted him to sleep on the couch, to which she responds "don't feel sorry for yourself, come get into bed". It kind of opened my eyes to the idea that it's healthy to argue and communicate what you expect from your partner without making it into some sort of punishment. It's just not the most productive method, and you really demonstrated that here.
The content you put out is outstanding. I realized just today that I've watched your videos for years, and have never reached out to let you know just how thought provoking and enticing you are. How unfortunate, to know that there are plenty of people like me, who feel so impacted by you, yet have never left a damn comment to let you know. You can always count on my support, even if it isn't vocalized as often as I'm now realizing it should be.
+Amy O'Connor no and now I'm praying it's on Netflix!!
The level of maturity and open communication in your relationship is rare. I agree on 90% of your statements and points of view but it's been really hard to find someone to share the same values and mindset. most of the open conversations i had with the guyz i've dated led to a misunderstanding or an argument. So it's really refreshing to see 2 people that open, mature and sophisticated in their daily communications.
Yall are so smart and logical about this relationship. I have never been in a real relationship. I'm afraid to speak my mind and then I turn around to just speak with no filter. I end up saying things rudely or mean when I was being genuine. I feel immediately attacked when questioned and I can honestly blame my thought process on my family life. My family is/has/was verbally and physically abused each other in many shapes and forms. I've learned to be tough and rude when it comes to explaining my side of things, but I'm generally nice and sensitive on my own. I stay putting on this front that if I can't be tough about everything I say or do, then I'll get walked over, i.e. more abused verbally or physically. It's something I have to work on and I realize this. It's hard though and so I'm learning from yall.
I relate to this so well. My husband and I go through these stages as well where we are just off sync. It's a very frustrating feeling because we both acknowledge that it's a temporary part of our relationship and we just have to ride it out. Over communicate and eventually we will get right back on track. Everything you put out is just so reassuring and comforting to know that others go through these same phases. Adore you!
I was real fucking confused for a second. I was like "Wait, didn't I see this? Oh shit don't tell me the eclipse put me into a loop where everyday is the same." *Phew*
Shan BOODY Send you my love 💕 you stand up for yourself girl! Brands come and go, your audience is here because of YOU not because of them!
Dom Davidson righhhhttttt! I thought I was going crazyyy
I love that you guys started the discussion with a "I love you" even though you guys were discussing issues ❤️ that's special
This is a lovely example of strong communication in a relationship. You're both so self-aware and are able to express your feelings directly. Thanks for sharing.
seeing you two talk through stuff like this really inspires me to be honest with the people that are important to me because as hard as it is, it's important to be honest and transparent in working through things so that relationships last. Thank you so much.
the trust in intent is such a beautiful/liberating thing! YES! we can get so caught up with that.. and Jared's filter analogy was perfect ;)
Wow! I'm impressed that you two were able to sit down and record this video. Sharing something so personal takes a lot of courage, but I'm grateful that you two are willing to share in order to teach us more about relationships.
The intimacy you guys have through talking is so beautiful. I love the way guys communicate things out.
The honesty and empathy that the two of you share is beautiful.
'being nice is something I worked hard for' - this is so powerful.
I think people just need to realize the importance of being completely honest and the direction that lies and deceit takes a relationship. Love watching you guys. Love you Shan!
I want to have this kind of conversation with my partner very open minded, answering questions with so much honesty and confident.
I like you guys and I want to see more of your videos.
I'm so happy ya'll made this video. Whenever me and my girlfriend get into any kind of fight or argument we always sit down and have real talks like this. Breakdown what's really behind the attacking behavior.
Reacting slow is a phrase that's gonna be on my mind forever now.
Really admire the relationship you two share, the connection of complete respect of the others being- being aloud to speak freely. The attention you can see given for the understanding of each other. Not to just respond. Watching, an learning about the journey you two are on gives me hope. That one day I can also share that with someone. Thank you two for being real, an wish you two all the best in life with growing together. Looking forward to watching you both succeed in life 🙏😊
"i am nice. i am, but i worked really hard for it." i can tell just from videos that this is true about Jared
This is such a breath of fresh air. You guys had an open honest conversation that wasn't drowned in fluff
You guys have a truly beautiful energy together that really shines on your relationship. The beautiful thing for which I am grateful for is the honesty behind your content, which is to be honest refreshing due to all of the relationships that only show their good sides. You can feel and see the love, respect and honesty, which I deeply respect. Really love your work and the energy you're sending.
I've recently been wondering if I am capable of being in a healthy relationship, but you guys proved to me that all healthy relationships have troubling times, and it's how you work thru them that counts. Thanks for the reassurance!
This video has taught me so much about communication in all forms of relationships. Co workers, friends, family, ect.
How are we talking to one another? Why? What area in yourself are you trying to protect? What are you afraid of? What matters at the end of the day? Do you care about that person? Do they care about you? What proff of postive change and growth have you seen in yourself as a result of the relationship? Why do I do what I do, why do you do what you do?
and on and on...
It really comes down to this, everyone is trying to do two things:
1.Self protect and Preserve
2. To be understood and understand
But none of this can happen without both parties choosing to be vulnerable and honesty.
Powerful stuff thank you for sharing.
I LOVE this video with you two. It's clear that you two were going through something, but the fact that you literally sat down and had a conversation is so powerful. From my experience, relationship issues oftentimes go unresolved because one or more parties is unwilling to be real and talk things out. Not yelling, not sarcasm, not passive aggressive jabs, gas lighting, or playing the victim. An actual dialogue where each party speaks and is heard. I wish you both health and happiness, no matter how things end up. ❤️
This has been the realist truist video I've ever seen on TH-cam. Very intimate. Thanks for sharing and modeling a healthy conversation.
The way you two communicate with each other is amazing and I hope to be able to get to this level one day.
This is a place I come to learn, and I learn so much. I'm very grateful for your transparency and experience. Thanks for sharing, Shan! 🖤
I'm so excited but this has nothing to do with the video! But I got jared's music on Apple Music, maybe I'm late but congratulations JARED!!!!!! You coming up boo! I'll make sure I play it loud with the windows down here in Tennessee so people can hear this greatness!!!
I literally have a note in my phone with all the things I learn from your relationship videos!!! So thanks for that
I love this! ❤❤❤ The fact that you guys can talk this openly and direct, while also keeping the love, respect and trying to solve issues is inspiring. Which is how relationships should be, but its just the flow and way of speaking you two have is so cool and loving. I would love to come to that place, but it is a task. I've been trying to in my own relationship not be combative, aggressive or judgemental and just intentionally listen to understand. It just hard when you partner is like, what I think is what I think and that's just how it's going to be.
Thank you Shannon for these videos, it is very inspiring and helpful.
Wow! I love, love, love, they way you guys communicate! It's like nothing I have ever seen before. It's really beautiful! From a girls perspective, Shannon....girlll.....he is golden! Most men can't communicate or articulate their thoughts this way. He's a keeper. And Shannon you are a master at communication. You give him the space and time to think and speak without interrupting him. I'm learned a lot from this!! Great video. Thank you!
I love the way he expresses himself! He is sharing his feeling but u can tell he is a very confidant man and will move on if its not beneficial to him. With love.
I really LOVE the open dialogue and awareness of yourselves as individuals (and collectively). It's an example of true genuine/divine love! Blessings to you both!💓
holy fucking shit. i love you both so much. this is very emotional (even with straight face and rational conversation) and very very good conversation. I love this. Thank you.
*SNAPS FOR THIS CONTENT* I’m snapping every 2 minutes yallllllll! This is so vulnerable and beautiful and HELPFUL. I’ve had a relationship with a level of this honesty and I’m so happy to see it full blown in you two. I can’t wait for everything else you guys have up your sleeves. I love you two. I support you. You’re just two very lovely humans.
I think you both are awesome individuals. My partner and I both watch your videos and we admire your honesty, openness, and knowledge of how you work individually and together. Keep on being an inspiration and educator for us.
I just matured 10 years from this conversation. So open and beautiful, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this, sharing how we can resolve things in such manners. Sending 💛
can't wait for the day when I make this much sense when I am emotional.
This is such a powerful way to communicate. What a great example of communication.
I have bad issues with communication and unhealthy arguments because I think running/pushing away is the only way i feel better, along with reacting with emotions ( anger, sadness) without actually listening. I’m so blessed to have your videos because i watch them and realize my mistakes and learn and tell my boyfriend how I can do better, and even tell him how he can do better (without starting a argument)
I really appreciate how you 2 work things out on camera. It has shown me what healthy relationships look like, and how it should feel
I love your communication. Thanks for showing people how to communicate in a healthy, understanding, and compassionate manner!
"Now are you gonna come half way or nah?" Those standards, self love and mutual respect shine through and I need more practice with them, especially when stakes are high. Thank you both for an insightful, honest video. Thank you for the vulnerability.
WOW! this was such an amazing conversation between you too! I learned something....... the part you said something about not needing to create space/awkwardness/negative emotions like jealousy.... to get a reaction/response from your partner or to bring your partner closer. Funny enough I did that last week with mine. I shouldn't have. I could have just easily communicated what I was feeling instead of using something to emotionally manipulate the situation to close the space/tension that had been created out of silence. Thank you Shan!
Thank you for opening up to us and giving us an example of healthy and honest communication, this video is very helpful. I learned how important communication really is.
Think it's awesome that you both can communicate. I read something about silences being a form of abuse...so the fact that you both talk about your relationship is admirable. ❤️
you guys have no idea how much u guys help me learn how to be more mature in my relationship
I really connected with this video! I am like you Shannon where I get very emotional and just body up what I am feeling because I don't wanna say something I am going to regret or don't really mean. And my boyfriend is very similar to yours in the ways that he takes me needing some space; just so too heart and becomes insecure about himself and his abilities to make situations better. I also really connected with the part where you guys were speaking on having filters. And having to always remember and remind myself the person I am in a relationship with, is a good person and to understand what they are really wanting and not to overthink or overreact to something they do. This is a issue I deal with now; just because I am so sensitive.
I love watching you two. So many people throw hate at you for being in an open relationship but really idk many couples that communicate on this level. So open and honest! It's really beautiful!
OH MY GOODNESS!!! I watch all of your videos and I am so thankful I found your corner of the internet! Can you please talk about how you/y'all learned to communicate in the way that you do!!!
I watched this before and was just as happy to watch it again. Pure awesome sauce. I'm utterly admiring the emotional maturity and openness. So cool. Thanks for sharing again. I'm glad you did. 🙂
Really really loved this video. I learned so much at a time where I'm in a rocky place in my relationship of 4 years. I am the type of person to get upset at my partner and do the whole "punishment" thing, and it's come to the point where he is distancing himself because he doesn't want to argue or feel punished. I think watching reality tv and watching my parents has some influence on this behavior. Deep down I don't want to yell or punish, I really want to communicate and talk about it. However, because this wall is built between us he doesn't want to. He has never actually been the type to want to talk it out, as Jarod mentioned men tend to hold things in and push it forward. So there's a big tug and pull situation I'm going through but watching this video has opened my eyes and given me hope that we can push past it and I will work on being more gentle in times of anger and he can work on communicating with me more.
As a guy I'm learning more about myself as a human from this channel because it explains what guys are going through and this channel shows the 2 side of the coin and let's us see the contrast in them .
Libra Aries dynamic. Opposites attract and have a lot to learn from each other. I love seeing this growth between y’all it’s very inspiring. You guys show maturity and accountability. It’s quite clear that you two have the same goal and keeping that in mind has kept you patient with each other 💛
This was so beautiful, open, and mature. Thank you for sharing. 💝
I love this honest open communication it really speaks volumes on the type of relationship you guys keep...much love to you both :)
A partner who can communicate this openly is so beautiful and definitely something I aspire towards 💕
Your growth as a couple is stunning and inspiring. Your openness and trust is what I want in my future relationship someday 💕
These guys have beautiful skin
This video is exactly what I needed right now. I've been in this funk and it just has been making me feel so insecure. I absolutely look up yo you Shannon and to see this video and all those familiar feelings just really hit close to home. Thanks so much for sharing such a personal side of your relationship. I think that so many people hide the negative part of their relationships that so many of us don't even know what an argument should look like. We get stuck with all these thoughts like is this person right for me or is something else going on instead of just riding out the wave.
My man and I are soooooo going through the same thing right now and having this as a basis to start a conversation about our relationship moving forward and get over the surface level stuff I think is going to be a great thing so thank you for your openness!
Wow. Communication goals! I’ve been binge watching your channel today and I’m fascinated. I’ve never understood how an open relationship could work with anyone and I personally could never be a part of one but I am open to seeing things through another’s perspective. I feel enriched and just a little more evolved after watching your videos. I’m a fan! 💛
this is so beautiful and i really enjoy seeing this healthy image of a relationship.
Jesus...I felt what Jared said about being nice .....learning to be that way, but not wanting it abused......this is exactly how I feel about what I'm going thru right now 😩
I needed this. Love seeing your insights on everything and thank you for being so generous with your teachings!
Thought it was funny that, before Jared was talking bout reading your love for him on your face, I was just thinking shan is hanging on every word from his mouth. You can tell by her body Language and facial expression that she has the utmost respect for him.
The way ya'll communicate is dope. I'm learning a lot just watchin your interaction. I'm not one to trust people in general with my feelings but I see how it is beneficial in a relationship.
I saw some of your videos and then actually looked for content like this, knew there would be something like this that could help me gain some clarity in what I'm going through right now, and so I'm just very thankful for this convo! hope you make more like it, thanks! :)
I love that you guys are able to communicate so well n have intellectual conversation. It's obvious you guys have respect for one another and a real friendship first! It's so refreshing to see that in a world of side chicks, fake love, and social media. 😍😍 thank you please keep making videos ! Especially the ones that stimulate our brains 🙌🏽👏🏽
thank you for the transparency! Great video.
I can relate to the nice part... it's learned. People aren't naturally nice it's something you learn by you're own experience or seeing how you treat another's.. we honestly can mean and nasty too but we choose not too!.. ahh idk that part just got to me! I love this types of videos!
4:20 was so true. I’m not sure most realize this though. We tend to say thing with different meaning not in a direct way. That filter analogy was on point
This is so beautiful too see! I love when you too share these type of videos
I watched this video previously but your opening motivated me to finally download the anchor app. I wish you much success!
thank you Nancy!!!!!
It is nice to see you both interact with eachother. You both give off a very calm, loving vibe together. It is clear you both have built genuine intimacy...
This is powerful, I've learned alot from seeing you two "argue", thank you for sharing.
It seems like Shannon thrives more in this open relationship. It seems like Jared goes along with it bc he loves her.
Bella Brownskin thats interesting because i thought it was the other way around. It seems to me like this was more his idea because before they went public she never mentioned open relationships in her videos
Bella Brownskin I think its the other way around! Shannon is going along with it Jared wants it... he said she pulled the card... Im thinking she said she didnt want to do it anymore which maybe why they are having their issues! But, I might be wrong... 🤷🏾♀️
I am thinking she pulled the card meaning she decided to date someone she had an interest in at a moment when they are not on the same page. Also sounds like she's mean when they argue
I don't think they should have moved in together so fast especially since there in a open relationship its just stress on more stress. Also who ever there dating on the side would obviously want to hang out at there apartment but thats awkward because now they live together.
I LOVE this!!!! I needed this. This will help me in all of my relationships. Thank you both. 💜
Damn...this video is incredibly insightful. Thank you for posting this!
i loved this video. idk why but it pulled at my heart strings and almost made me cry.
I learned a lot from this video, and it kept me in check and brought me back to reality in terms of checking in and communicating with people in my life
by the way your description says "one one one counseling" , LOVE YOU LOTS
I love how honest this discussion was
Shan I look up to you two so much I'm currently talking to this girl I swear it's the most mature love I've ever experienced because I've learned to be more patient and more communicative it's really satisfying when you and your partner understand that you're both going through life and you've had separate experiences and combining that with each other but understand because you two are both individuals that sometimes things get hard
I wish I could be in a relationship where I can grow as a person and be comfortable and have these deep, intelligent conversations....
Wow! Thank you for sharing this ✨👏🏼 self reflection is something only the brave care and are able to do 💕💕 I hope you both know that by exposing yourselves this way it's huge for us, for me at least💖 I appreciate you both so much because it helps me look into myself and my relationships. You both are wonderful people, you deserve each other! I'm rooting for u guys, love it that the two videos I've watched today you end up kissing 😍💖
this conversation was so helpful and inspiring. thanks for sharing an array of real content.
Your videos like these are so helpful, thank you guys for sharing pieces of your relationship!