I actually read this book that says God Arranges Marriages and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I mean someone who knows me before I was born. Who created me and knows my ins and outs. Ya in that sense, Im down for arranged marriages.
Your comments are so awesome! Thanks guys :) (Please remember to be sensitive in your comments! Many cultures, represented in the views/comments of this video, do have arranged marriages.)
My wife and I are married 17 years as of June 3rd. While not "arranged", my wife had a great relationship with my grandmother, which was one of the things that attracted me to her. Her grandfather was also an associate minister at my church when I was growing up. I think close family bonds are a big plus and especially the spiritual roots. We were both virgins before marriage as well and though I come from a history of divorces in my family, we made a covenant to never have a back door and make Jesus the center of our marriage. We have 3 girls, the oldest of which was a big fan of yours and "iShine".
I know three couples that had arranged marriages. Two of them are fabulous...amazing marriages. You wouldn't believe it. The third, not so much. The guy and his family were very dishonest in the process and sadly, it ended in divorce. When both families are honest and open, it's wonderful though. Honestly, your parent probably can pick a better husband for you than you can. Not everyone's parents, but yours, Jamie Grace because of the relationship you have with them. My two cents. Hey! You're the one that asked for comments. BTW, both of my daughters are in love with you!!
Nope, no, and nada. Not interested in an arranged marriage, it’s not that I can’t trust those who’d arrange it, just I feel like I need to know the person I’m planning to spend the rest of my life before I start spending it.
I... I don't really like people arranging dates or whatever for me. I'm not exactly what you'd call a social butterfly, and people's expectations of me vs who I am are often different. I need to work on that part of me (at least a bit).
Since you trust your family’s choices, you may be ok. I’m Indian and my family has been trying to arrange my marriage for the last 10 years to guys who are so wrong for me. If you are from a culture where an arranged marriage is the only option, it’s hard to be excited about it. You have a choice so give it a try but absolutely pray about it first.
"Hey Jamie, I don't think an arranged marriage would be a good idea, perhaps an arranged date. You really want to give yourself a chance to get to know the person. Just hang out like great friends. It's good to have a lot in common and have a sense of humor coming from both of you. My husband and I has been married for almost 21years. I was 25 when we were married. We started out as friends and enjoyed each other's company. Most importantly, we had our own personal relationship with God, and that has been the glue that has kept us together. May God help you to find the mate that is right for you. Believe me, when the right one comes, you will know it!
Your videos about relationships really encourage me. I’m 23 and have been single for all of those 23 years, and I find it SO easy to get down when I look around and all my Christian friends are married or in relationships and think that it’ll never happen for me. I don’t know any single Christian guys around my age, and so it’s so easy to get it into my head that I’ll be single forever haha. But your videos give me such a boost - I feel less alone, and it’s so encouraging to know I’m not the only one in this season of life. You are a breath of fresh air, and you make me feel proud to be a part of #teamsingle (although...you know, if God wanted to give me some kinda sign or guarantee that I’m not gonna be a lifetime member, that’d be cool too 😜😂) Thank you so much, Jamie! As for the arranged marriage part - my Dad (who is also my pastor 🙌🏻) always jokes about me just letting him and my Mum pick a guy for me. I think they’d have decent enough taste...but we don’t know any guys, so there’s not exactly a bunch to choose from hahaha!
I totally agree with you. If my parents agreed that someone would be a good match for me I would trust them and go through with it because I know that they know me and what's best for me and I trust them. After seeing Married At First Sight I asked my parents if they would ever consider arranging a marriage for me after I graduate from college and have worked for a year and they said no and they didn't think that was right to arrange marriages. So that's never gonna happen lol
Proverbs 15:22 "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established." Proverbs 12:15 "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise." There are two extremes, Hollywood's "Love at first sight" "You'll know by the kiss", etc Which is entirely your own judgment Or arranged marriage, where typically your parents would set up a marriage and you don't get a say, might not even meet the guy till the wedding. Which is entirely someone elses judgment. I think there is a happy medium. The movie "Princess Cut" is one example of this (Great movie! Available on Amazon!) Ultimately you should allow God to arrange your marriage. However, God often uses people in your life to line things up and point out where your own understanding is lacking. I am blest to have a Dad who's judgment I trust 100%. Unfortunately not everyone has that. But if you look, God will show you people in your life who's judgment you can trust.
Susan Field, I watched that movie with my mom and sister. It was awesome! I agree completely with you in that there should be a happy medium. However, I do believe in arranged marriage in this way: every couple who marries the spouse God has for them enters into an arranged marriage. Consequently, I think every Christian should be okay on some level with an arranged marriage.
28 and single, but I don't know about an arranged marriage. Maybe an arranged date...maybe. But I loved your advice about being intentional about the couples that you surround yourself with. Find those people that love you and will be honest with you.
I'm from South Sudan so yeah I would do it if my whole village arrange it b/c they knew me since I was a baby and I trust they would pick the right one #teamsingle
Jamie, I totally agree with you. I am from India, where arranged marriages are pretty much the norm though the urban culture here is more accepting of a love marriage nowadays. Almost everyone in my family, both immediate and the extended version have entered marriage the arranged way. In contrast to what most people thing, arranged marriage isn't forced ,at least not with my family. Since your family knows you well enough, they would be able to find a suitable mate. But they would respect your decision. I am totally up for a arranged marriage, cos I have witnessed such beautiful ones so far and I can say for sure that it seemed God orchestrated the entire event and reigned over it. The way you and I meet our future spouses may be different. But the important thing is honoring God in whichever way it is. #teamsingle 😃
No way I cannot trust my family to pick my husband for me because "I'm A Little Different" from the rest of them LOL, I love them to death but No Way LoL
I would consider an arrange marriage like you said if sister, mom, and one of my aunts were doing it sure I don't know about a stranger picking the person they don't know me it would scare me too.
christy cortez the idea of a stranger doing it is so scary! I agree with you, it’d have to be a couple of my family members deciding together haha. IF I went this route! 😂🙈
Maybe I just have trust issues, but I'm not open to arranged marriage or a date. I think it's so incredible that you love and trust your family so deeply. Ya'll are just some amazing, godly people!
Hahaha.. I couldn't stop smiling. I'm from India. Arranged marriage is my only option and I'm not against it. I actually recommend it. It's all about praying and trusting God. I trust God above everything. I don't trust myself. 😂 😂 I am waiting on God to show me if I should be single or if I should marry. Anyways, cool video!! Loved it!
I would be okay with an arranged marriage, and here's why; My family (namely my parents and sister) know me better than I know myself most times. You can be infatuated or attracted to someone without them being The One, and God put your parents in your life to point out character flaws and serious issues that you with your lil heart eyes may not notice until it's too late. My family knows exactly what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, and what I can't stand. I trust them wholly with my heart. On the other hand, I also trust my parents would never want me to marry a man I didn't truly love. *ahem* Golly, that was long. But y'all get my drift ;)
In my country Arranged marriage is the norm. Parents chose the bride/ bridegroom. ( Early 1900s My grandparents were not even permitted to see each other until the day of the wedding). But I support the idea of arranged marriages. If i were to marry it will definitely be an arranged one. Anyways love or arranged I pray that GOD would bless everyone with the perfect match.
I can definitely see where you are coming from. I feel I could trust my parents as well, mostly because they are very careful to find out what God's plan is for my life. Really for me, though they will be highly involved, my marriage will be God arranged. I do expect to meet him and get to know him first through courting though. If I felt and believed God was having me marry someone I didn't know I would be ok with that. Whatever God's will is for my life is what I want, however it unfolds.
I would let my mom arrange a date for me, but even though I trust her discernment 95% (I'll give her some room for error), I wouldn't just get married to the dude. I'd have to met and get comfortable with him first.
Well..... im fourteen so its gonna be a while before i think if getting married lol 😂but i still love ur vids , they help me with planning my future 🤗🤗
My parent's marriage wasn't exactly "arranged", but they were introduced, chaperoned, and guided by my older aunt. I want that for my life, though I can't say I would marry someone my family chose for me if I was skeptical about them, I would be open to my parent's suggestions when the time is right for dating. I would get to know him, but even if he's a nice, true, christian, church-going,all around friendly guy, our personalities might not match like they should to have a happy relationship. And we should always remember to look to God to who he wants us to be with over our earthly families.
Hey. I completely agree with the concept of trusting my parents to arrange a marriage for me. We were reading the story of how Isaac and Rebekah got married. Abraham sent his most trusted servant to choose his son's bride, as he wasn't able. One of the scary parts about the story is the way that Rebekah's parents didn't even meet Isaac, but agreed anyway, because they said: "Surely this thing comes from the Lord." I found it scary because I trust my dad implicitly, and should something like that happen to me, I'd be a lot confused because he never met the guy, but met only his dad or his dad's representative. When I told my dad this, however, he once again reminded me that God is in charge(sometimes we forget a bit.) If something like that would happen to me, and they never met the guy himself, and they had peace about it, even then I will trust, because my trust is in God... I also remember in one book by Francine Rivers, one of the characters briefly spoke about the respect a young man has for his father by trusting him to choose a bride without the young man's counsel. I only now remember that... We in the western culture still have a lot to learn....
Personally, I would not be comfortable with an arranged marriage. Even if my most trusted family members, somehow, all agreed on someone for me. I need a personal connection that we developed together. However, I think I would need to seriously consider someone if both my mom and dad agreed on someone for me, because that never happens 😂😅
I’m not ok with an arraigned marriage for me. I want to get to know him & start a foundation together instead of suddenly getting married & moving in all on the same day. I want to have time to talk as a couple in the presence of other couples to make us think. My family or friends may gloss over some of my quirks that he may or may not be ok with simply because they’re used to them. I also want to know I made my choice. The foundation of our relationship is something we’d have to take responsibility for. I would totally go on an arraigned date though. I’d trust my mom or several close friends to orchestrate it. But we would still need to meet in public at a safe location, just in case. I will say though, make sure the arraigned date is for the right reason. I learned that my Junior Prom. I desperately wanted a date. My friend’s mom set me up with her neighbor’s nephew. He was a nice christian guy and very respectful, but it was a blind date and very awkward for two teenagers. Pretty much the only requirements they looked at was Christian, and someone who would treat me properly and respectfully. Looking back, I wanted a date just because I wanted a date, not to share a fun evening with someone as a friend. I went to a small Christian school and my mom was a teacher, so she was a chaperone. It’s somewhat comical looking back. My date and another guy at our table hit it off very well as friends. At the end of the evening my friend accidentally blew out a candle sending smoke in my direction. I had a severe allergic reaction. Her dad was also my doctor & thankfully he was there as well. I was so sick I ended up leaving with my mom while my date went to a party & bonfire with my friends at another teacher’s house. Next Monday at school, my friend Jared asked me for my date’s number because they planned to hang out over the summer. Next year, I went solo with some of my fellow single gal friends. We had a blast! I do love how you make sure Morgan checks out the looks. Someone should’ve done that for me. At 16 I wasn’t into a dude with a ponytail, but I was willing to overlook it since he seemed nice. It was also against dress code for my school, but they let it slide for prom.
Not in a million years would I agree to a arranged marriage. Although, I do have someone in my family my papa(dad's dad) that if he said no to a guy I was dating. I truly know it's not the right person. Because he's just not that person who would be so brutally honest about something like that unless he needed to.
In my family they have joked about arranging my marriage, because I never seemed interested in anyone. I know that they would have picked someone good and godly, but I don’t feel comfortable around people I don’t know well, so that would have been a disaster. I became friends with someone, and now a year later we are falling in love, and we’ve talked about freaky future things, and both of us see us marry each other. But the funny thing is, we’re still not dating and kissing and stuff. We’re just getting to know each other more and more. And everyone is around is pushing, but I like having the time and not being pressured into things that everyone thinks are part of boy-girl relationships. It will be one day, but just not now.
I agree that arranged marriages can work and it's great that you trust your family that much, but an arranged marriage would 100% not be for me. It actually is a question I asked myself at one point in the past, but I then had a dream that I was about to have an arranged marriage. Nothing bad even happened in the dream, and the imaginary guy was nice and did things I think are romantic, but I woke up crying and feeling sick because I HATED how much I felt like the choice had been taken away from me and I wasn't attracted to him no matter what he did or said. 😔 So, yeah, that took arranged marriage right out of the options for me. I want to be the one to choose the man and I want the man to be the one to choose me and pursue me. I would, of course, listen to friend's and family's opinions of him, but I and he need to be the ones to make that final choice to be married because we've come to love each other and want to be together for the rest of our lives.
Do a vision board for your ideal spouse, put it in the parts of your home you spend the most time in (make 2 identical vision boards). Focus on it with gladness EVERY Day, ask God to bless it, thank God for your husband every morning when you wake up. Ask God to move any obstacle out of his and your way so he can get to you quickly, ask God (Politely) to speed it up and in Jesus name it will work. It absolutely worked for me about 8 months later I was married and 6 years later I am still married. And to answer your question: yes I would consider Arranged Dating not Arranged Marriage. God bless you.
I would probably hide myself in my closet for the rest of my life if someone that I didn't know arranged my marriage! I feel like my sister Esmé, my mom, and my dad would be the most trustworthy people that I would feel safe arranging my marriage. My dad can look at a person and within seconds he can determine their character. He's met friends of mine and said that I need to be careful with him/her because they aren't going to be someone I can depend on. And sure enough the friend betrayed me and crushed me. My mom needs sometime with the person to get a good or bad feeling. But she is an amazing woman of God so I'm sure that she would pray about it and find the best Godly husband for me. My sister is someone that will tell me her honest opinion about someone and give great input. Jamie, I hope that you will find a Godly husband that is worthy of you. You are an amazing woman and I know that God will bring you the most incredible husband when the time is right!
I honestly think the better question is : Do trust yourself enough to choose who you marry? You obviously trust the people you choose to have in your life. I think in turn they trust you to choose who will hold the place of brother, son, and friend in their lives.
Wow!! Here in India I am not so happy about arranged marriages, I truly believe that your family know what your likes and dislikes are and you trust them. And I will say this if someone wants to have a arranged marriage they should have a attitude and trust like you do on family.
Lol Jamie, first I wanna just say that I love you and your music and it's refreshing to see that you have an active channel where you vlog! Now, knowing my family. I would NOT lol do an arranged marriage! Like so help me and the guy they chose lol smh. But if there was any family member that I'd trust to pick a good God fearing young man that match me.. it would be my Gma (grandmommy) or my Father and idk maybe my 6 yr old little brother lol I'm not sure if he cares, but I trust his pure little judgment 😆😏
I love you Jamie!! Also I really don't think that I world be ok with an arranged marriage!! I love my family and all but I really want to see/meet/know the guy personally before I mary him😁😁😁
One of my coworkers tried to arrange a date for me with her brother and I tried to tell her that I wasn't interested, luckily her brother wasn't interested either but I honestly think it's terrible idea to arrange dates or even marriages to people.
Yeah I would consider it with some guidelines lol, I would do a date first, to get to know that person WELL lol, I'm the only son with 3 sisters, poor me, lol just imagine that! Very interesting question! Next video: first date ideas, as in who, what, when, where and why
Dating-wise, I agree with you 100%! if the people who I'm surrounded with whome I trust 100000% are okay with it, than I'll go for it. Marriage wise, God's going to have to hook it up Supernatural for me to make this decision. :)
Well... I'm sure that if my mom and dad doesn't agree to me know some man and merry with him, I would run out from this one. And for me, I fill attract for men that I admire personality, envolviment with God. You made a subjective very good thinking. Well done girl.
If my mom were to tell me about a great guy that she just knows would be perfect for me, then yes I would cuz I trust my mom with everything she's not only the best mom but my best friend. It probably would be an arranged date not marriage right away. But I would trust her opinion. My older sister maybe but my middle sister I would not cuz I see the relationship and now marriage she is in is not that great or godly. I pray everyday that the man God created for me is safe and we are one step closer to each other.
If there was an arranged date... I'd most likely let my sister do that- she knows me pretty well and has good taste haha. As for an arranged marriage... nahhh haha I wouldn't let anyone do that not even my parents. I trust them with anything but that is a decision I'd personally want to make!
I would totally consider an arranged date....but not an arranged marriage lol. Like you, I'd need my sister in on it to check out the dudes looks for me!
Arranged date? Sure. Arranged marriage? A million times no. I don't know anyone that knows me and my situation well enough to truly make that judgement. However, I thought this video was interesting and I do think it's a good idea to surround yourself with people who are wise in their relationships. Also, I still can't believe people are asking you about arranged marriage in this century. Like, I know it works for some people, but I just find the whole concept just really intensely sketchy. Especially if you have a family that shouldn't be making those decisions for you and most people don't choose who arranges their marriage.
I would trust my mom to find a guy for me to date. I'm not good at starting conversations, so if she could just find a good guy just by talking to him and finding out his likes and dislikes, you know, having a little interview with him, that would be great. Saves me the trouble of actually having to communicate with hundreds of guys. Although I wouldn't consider arranged marriage. The whole "spending eternity with someone" thing is kind of up to God in regards to when it's going to happen and who it's going to happen with. Especially since humans are imperfect and they have no idea who the perfect match is for me. And if they turn out to be wrong, I'm stuck with that guy for the rest of my life. And if I decide to get a divorce, I'll never be able to marry again on account of adultery being involved with that.
A date, yes. Wedding, eh maybe. My parents and sister I would trust. Although I want my sister(older) to have gotten married before me. Being 27, I want to be intentional when I do date someone. I want to get married and have as many kids as God will give us, even adoption. I do suffer from TOS. I see a young woman, and I'll be like "oh hi, could you be her". Every time she's either in a relationship, just gotten out of a relationship, or too young for me. After I find out one of those, I say nope not her. One day, I'll find her.
Hey Jamie, can you talk about how to keep godly purity while single! We have such a sex saturated culture and it's just so difficult, especially while being single!!!
Married now but this is what helped me: 1) was never alone (like in a private area) w my boyfriend; 2) stayed open w my roommates about any impure thoughts or dreams (the more you hide the harder to stay pure); 3) I hated being disciplined so I tried to stay away from anything that would make church leaders raise an eyebrow at me and my boyfriend; 4) remembered the dream that I had for myself that I wanted to be a pure bride and I was not willing to allow anything to sully that vision I had for myself; 5) constantly reminded myself that I was worth the wait; 6) prayed...a lot; 7) cried...a lot; 8) fought back a lot of bitterness (through prayer and openness) as I watch ALL 7 of my roommates date/get engaged/get married before me; and 9) eventually I just STOPPED focusing on men/dating/sex/ideal relationships and started focusing on being the BEST me I could be (in Christ)...a year later, this guy whose guts I used to hate became a good friend (we set aside our differences). Several months later we started dating. 2 years later we got married. But to this day, I stand behind the choices I made to hold myself to a higher standard and to just focus on being the best ME I could be for Christ. And I think God blessed that. It was HARD! SEVEN roommates dating/married. But I knew I did not want that baggage and guilt to follow me into whatever marriage I was going to be in. Oh, and DON'T pigeon hold GOD into "this is the only type of man I'm interested in" nonsense. Keep your heart open. And watch GOD blow your mind. Do things His way and he will GIFT you exactly the right spouse for you (although the "packaging" might not be what you expect). --- Long, I know, but all in Christ-like LOVE. Be bless.
You're welcome. Just remember that dating & marriage do not protect you from impure thoughts and actions. You will be 2 sinful (but hopefully saved) people in the relationship. So, whether its your thoughts, actions, desires...you will constantly have to "fight" to stay pure. Its part of the race called life. Casually flirting with that nice looking guy at the drive up window...its been "awhile" since being intimate w your husband (your thoughts will start to wander)...not "satisfied" so you start looking elsewhere for fulfillment? Like you said, we are in a sex saturated culture. Girl...my husband be trying to talk to me about Idris Alba and I'm like NOPE...don't want to hear it...its a TRAP! Haha! I don't need anything or anyone adding to my struggles. Real talk though! I think singles think that marriage will solve all of their problems when in actuality marriage magnifies your sinful nature. But as much as marriage magnifies your sinful nature, it also acts as a foundation for God to reshape you into something greater. Marriage is hard. Those jokers ain't going home at the end of the date...LOL. But if you keep yourself open to (spiritual) growth, it is amazing.
I would do an arranged date! I trust my mom to pick the right guy for me to date. But marriage is a whole different story. But I’m almost 19 so that’s why I wouldn’t do an arranged marriage😂🙈 But an arranged date, I’m down for that haha
I would totally trust my parents & either of my pastors (& their wives) to choose a husband for me. 😄 But, that's because I trust how well they know me & the fact that they want the BEST for me & their standards are probably higher than mine are. 😂
Arraigned dates? Yeah! It would be a good way to meet a young man with similar beliefs and goals but.... arranged marriage.... no.😅 My mom is about the only person I'd feel no hesitation with(arraigned dates) because she's very protective and has a lot of good council. My siblings would just find some Christian guy and be like: "Hey! He's a Chistian. You two would be so cute together!" 😒
I'm not old enough to get married nor do I want to,but...I don't know if I would trust my parents..I mean they're amazing, but they don't have the most helthy relationship. -it's nothing serious, just not the greatest relationship- So... I don't know. XD
I would NOT be interested in an arranged marriage 😂 I trust NO ONE to pick someone out for me, sorry mom & dad lol but that's all imma say about that 😂 and arranged date? Maybe :)
There is this one boy in my class that my siblings want me to marry, but he is rude and sexist. My parents love him tho. He once tried to punch me in the face! Soz no arranged mairriges for me!
Noooope. Honestly, none of the really conservative people in my life, like my parents, would pick someone good. For one, the dude has got to match my libido, sorrynotsorry. But that aside, and more importantly, I have very different political, moral, and philosophical views from my family that they simply do not respect, despite sharing a religion (we are Christian) and they would not find someone who does respect me. The man I'm married to is someone who was strongly pushed on me by my parents, and thankfully he's not like they thought he was lol. But we have issues. It's getting better by the day, but if I weren't in the home situation I was as a child and later as a dating teen and had more freedom (particularly had good health and my own transportation) and was far less manipulated, I would have chosen someone else myself even though where I'm at now has been okay-ish. Honestly I would have chosen the first man I dated, but God's started using what I have now for good, especially for our daughter.
I actually read this book that says God Arranges Marriages and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I mean someone who knows me before I was born. Who created me and knows my ins and outs. Ya in that sense, Im down for arranged marriages.
Sooooooo true!
Your comments are so awesome! Thanks guys :)
(Please remember to be sensitive in your comments! Many cultures, represented in the views/comments of this video, do have arranged marriages.)
The Jamie Grace Show wow..... so kind, thoughtful and wise of you...
uzoma Arinze not sensitive, be respectful
icon for hire x flyleaf really sorry if you misunderstood love but i meant well, am actually glad she did say that.... love you family and JESUS BABY
uzoma Arinze ..wh..okay
The Jamie Grace Show please come to Ohio
My wife and I are married 17 years as of June 3rd. While not "arranged", my wife had a great relationship with my grandmother, which was one of the things that attracted me to her. Her grandfather was also an associate minister at my church when I was growing up. I think close family bonds are a big plus and especially the spiritual roots. We were both virgins before marriage as well and though I come from a history of divorces in my family, we made a covenant to never have a back door and make Jesus the center of our marriage. We have 3 girls, the oldest of which was a big fan of yours and "iShine".
Your comment is soo beautiful.
I know three couples that had arranged marriages. Two of them are fabulous...amazing marriages. You wouldn't believe it. The third, not so much. The guy and his family were very dishonest in the process and sadly, it ended in divorce. When both families are honest and open, it's wonderful though. Honestly, your parent probably can pick a better husband for you than you can. Not everyone's parents, but yours, Jamie Grace because of the relationship you have with them. My two cents. Hey! You're the one that asked for comments. BTW, both of my daughters are in love with you!!
Nope, no, and nada. Not interested in an arranged marriage, it’s not that I can’t trust those who’d arrange it, just I feel like I need to know the person I’m planning to spend the rest of my life before I start spending it.
Pink Zebra that’s understandable! Note: it’s not my current plan, hahaha.
same
Same. I want him to be my best friend before I'm willing to consider him as Mr. Right. But that's my opinion :)
Pink Zebra Agreed!!
Awww! That's so sweet though b/c it shows how much you trust your Fam. I can't agree I can do that with my family though lol. Loved this talk
SoulStyleBeauty hahaa. Love your comment!
I... I don't really like people arranging dates or whatever for me. I'm not exactly what you'd call a social butterfly, and people's expectations of me vs who I am are often different. I need to work on that part of me (at least a bit).
Since you trust your family’s choices, you may be ok. I’m Indian and my family has been trying to arrange my marriage for the last 10 years to guys who are so wrong for me. If you are from a culture where an arranged marriage is the only option, it’s hard to be excited about it. You have a choice so give it a try but absolutely pray about it first.
"Hey Jamie, I don't think an arranged marriage would be a good idea, perhaps an arranged date. You really want to give yourself a chance to get to know the person. Just hang out like great friends. It's good to have a lot in common and have a sense of humor coming from both of you.
My husband and I has been married for almost 21years.
I was 25 when we were married. We started out as friends and enjoyed each other's company. Most importantly, we had our own personal relationship with God, and that has been the glue that has kept us together. May God help you to find the mate that is right for you. Believe me, when the right one comes, you will know it!
Beautifully written. I too agree with this comment.
Dawn Hope Thank you!
Yes Lord! I just finished praying and got into TH-cam just to watch one of your videos and BOOM here it is, recent upload ❤️ thank you Jamie Grace
Your videos about relationships really encourage me. I’m 23 and have been single for all of those 23 years, and I find it SO easy to get down when I look around and all my Christian friends are married or in relationships and think that it’ll never happen for me. I don’t know any single Christian guys around my age, and so it’s so easy to get it into my head that I’ll be single forever haha. But your videos give me such a boost - I feel less alone, and it’s so encouraging to know I’m not the only one in this season of life. You are a breath of fresh air, and you make me feel proud to be a part of #teamsingle (although...you know, if God wanted to give me some kinda sign or guarantee that I’m not gonna be a lifetime member, that’d be cool too 😜😂) Thank you so much, Jamie! As for the arranged marriage part - my Dad (who is also my pastor 🙌🏻) always jokes about me just letting him and my Mum pick a guy for me. I think they’d have decent enough taste...but we don’t know any guys, so there’s not exactly a bunch to choose from hahaha!
I totally agree with you. If my parents agreed that someone would be a good match for me I would trust them and go through with it because I know that they know me and what's best for me and I trust them. After seeing Married At First Sight I asked my parents if they would ever consider arranging a marriage for me after I graduate from college and have worked for a year and they said no and they didn't think that was right to arrange marriages. So that's never gonna happen lol
I think it's great that you trust your family so deeply!
What are the personal values/characteristics you seek in a husband?
Proverbs 15:22 "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established."
Proverbs 12:15 "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."
There are two extremes, Hollywood's "Love at first sight" "You'll know by the kiss", etc Which is entirely your own judgment
Or arranged marriage, where typically your parents would set up a marriage and you don't get a say, might not even meet the guy till the wedding. Which is entirely someone elses judgment.
I think there is a happy medium. The movie "Princess Cut" is one example of this (Great movie! Available on Amazon!)
Ultimately you should allow God to arrange your marriage. However, God often uses people in your life to line things up and point out where your own understanding is lacking. I am blest to have a Dad who's judgment I trust 100%. Unfortunately not everyone has that. But if you look, God will show you people in your life who's judgment you can trust.
Susan Field, I watched that movie with my mom and sister. It was awesome!
I agree completely with you in that there should be a happy medium. However, I do believe in arranged marriage in this way: every couple who marries the spouse God has for them enters into an arranged marriage. Consequently, I think every Christian should be okay on some level with an arranged marriage.
Jamie Grace! I love you so much! You are such a role model to me and I always try to let my light shine for Jesus through you!
28 and single, but I don't know about an arranged marriage. Maybe an arranged date...maybe. But I loved your advice about being intentional about the couples that you surround yourself with. Find those people that love you and will be honest with you.
I'm from South Sudan so yeah I would do it if my whole village arrange it b/c they knew me since I was a baby and I trust they would pick the right one #teamsingle
I would let my little sister arrange my marriage 100 percent!
This reminds me of Isaac and Rebecca
Jamie, I totally agree with you. I am from India, where arranged marriages are pretty much the norm though the urban culture here is more accepting of a love marriage nowadays. Almost everyone in my family, both immediate and the extended version have entered marriage the arranged way. In contrast to what most people thing, arranged marriage isn't forced ,at least not with my family. Since your family knows you well enough, they would be able to find a suitable mate. But they would respect your decision. I am totally up for a arranged marriage, cos I have witnessed such beautiful ones so far and I can say for sure that it seemed God orchestrated the entire event and reigned over it. The way you and I meet our future spouses may be different. But the important thing is honoring God in whichever way it is. #teamsingle 😃
No way I cannot trust my family to pick my husband for me because "I'm A Little Different" from the rest of them LOL, I love them to death but No Way LoL
Beautiful Angel haha I like that song plug there!! ;)
The Jamie Grace Show
Yes Darling I had too,😉😊
Love that song by the way..😘😘
I would consider an arrange marriage like you said if sister, mom, and one of my aunts were doing it sure I don't know about a stranger picking the person they don't know me it would scare me too.
christy cortez the idea of a stranger doing it is so scary! I agree with you, it’d have to be a couple of my family members deciding together haha. IF I went this route! 😂🙈
Maybe I just have trust issues, but I'm not open to arranged marriage or a date. I think it's so incredible that you love and trust your family so deeply. Ya'll are just some amazing, godly people!
Hahaha.. I couldn't stop smiling. I'm from India. Arranged marriage is my only option and I'm not against it. I actually recommend it. It's all about praying and trusting God. I trust God above everything. I don't trust myself. 😂 😂 I am waiting on God to show me if I should be single or if I should marry. Anyways, cool video!! Loved it!
Gifty Grace well! I am all for trusting God, so awesome 😂 XD
McKala Caitlins ☺ ☺
Gifty Grace I love your comment!
Yedidyah de Sousa thank you ☺
I don't think i trust anyone that much personally
Wow. That is love.
Holy crap, someone said it! I have said this for a while, and people always think I'm crazy.
I would be okay with an arranged marriage, and here's why;
My family (namely my parents and sister) know me better than I know myself most times. You can be infatuated or attracted to someone without them being The One, and God put your parents in your life to point out character flaws and serious issues that you with your lil heart eyes may not notice until it's too late. My family knows exactly what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, and what I can't stand. I trust them wholly with my heart.
On the other hand, I also trust my parents would never want me to marry a man I didn't truly love.
*ahem* Golly, that was long. But y'all get my drift ;)
In my country Arranged marriage is the norm. Parents chose the bride/ bridegroom. ( Early 1900s My grandparents were not even permitted to see each other until the day of the wedding). But I support the idea of arranged marriages. If i were to marry it will definitely be an arranged one. Anyways love or arranged I pray that GOD would bless everyone with the perfect match.
I can definitely see where you are coming from. I feel I could trust my parents as well, mostly because they are very careful to find out what God's plan is for my life. Really for me, though they will be highly involved, my marriage will be God arranged. I do expect to meet him and get to know him first through courting though. If I felt and believed God was having me marry someone I didn't know I would be ok with that. Whatever God's will is for my life is what I want, however it unfolds.
I would let my mom arrange a date for me, but even though I trust her discernment 95% (I'll give her some room for error), I wouldn't just get married to the dude. I'd have to met and get comfortable with him first.
Well..... im fourteen so its gonna be a while before i think if getting married lol 😂but i still love ur vids , they help me with planning my future 🤗🤗
My parent's marriage wasn't exactly "arranged", but they were introduced, chaperoned, and guided by my older aunt. I want that for my life, though I can't say I would marry someone my family chose for me if I was skeptical about them, I would be open to my parent's suggestions when the time is right for dating. I would get to know him, but even if he's a nice, true, christian, church-going,all around friendly guy, our personalities might not match like they should to have a happy relationship. And we should always remember to look to God to who he wants us to be with over our earthly families.
I would only let God pick out a guy for me! No one else! So that means arranged marriage is out of the question for me! xx ❤️ Love ya Jamie!!
BTW I love your choker!!❤️
Great video gurrrl xx
Rachel Augustine thanks!!
Hey. I completely agree with the concept of trusting my parents to arrange a marriage for me.
We were reading the story of how Isaac and Rebekah got married. Abraham sent his most trusted servant to choose his son's bride, as he wasn't able.
One of the scary parts about the story is the way that Rebekah's parents didn't even meet Isaac, but agreed anyway, because they said: "Surely this thing comes from the Lord."
I found it scary because I trust my dad implicitly, and should something like that happen to me, I'd be a lot confused because he never met the guy, but met only his dad or his dad's representative. When I told my dad this, however, he once again reminded me that God is in charge(sometimes we forget a bit.) If something like that would happen to me, and they never met the guy himself, and they had peace about it, even then I will trust, because my trust is in God...
I also remember in one book by Francine Rivers, one of the characters briefly spoke about the respect a young man has for his father by trusting him to choose a bride without the young man's counsel. I only now remember that... We in the western culture still have a lot to learn....
Personally, I would not be comfortable with an arranged marriage. Even if my most trusted family members, somehow, all agreed on someone for me. I need a personal connection that we developed together. However, I think I would need to seriously consider someone if both my mom and dad agreed on someone for me, because that never happens 😂😅
That is amazing that you trust your family in such a way.
I’m not ok with an arraigned marriage for me. I want to get to know him & start a foundation together instead of suddenly getting married & moving in all on the same day. I want to have time to talk as a couple in the presence of other couples to make us think. My family or friends may gloss over some of my quirks that he may or may not be ok with simply because they’re used to them. I also want to know I made my choice. The foundation of our relationship is something we’d have to take responsibility for.
I would totally go on an arraigned date though. I’d trust my mom or several close friends to orchestrate it. But we would still need to meet in public at a safe location, just in case.
I will say though, make sure the arraigned date is for the right reason. I learned that my Junior Prom. I desperately wanted a date. My friend’s mom set me up with her neighbor’s nephew. He was a nice christian guy and very respectful, but it was a blind date and very awkward for two teenagers. Pretty much the only requirements they looked at was Christian, and someone who would treat me properly and respectfully. Looking back, I wanted a date just because I wanted a date, not to share a fun evening with someone as a friend. I went to a small Christian school and my mom was a teacher, so she was a chaperone. It’s somewhat comical looking back. My date and another guy at our table hit it off very well as friends. At the end of the evening my friend accidentally blew out a candle sending smoke in my direction. I had a severe allergic reaction. Her dad was also my doctor & thankfully he was there as well. I was so sick I ended up leaving with my mom while my date went to a party & bonfire with my friends at another teacher’s house. Next Monday at school, my friend Jared asked me for my date’s number because they planned to hang out over the summer. Next year, I went solo with some of my fellow single gal friends. We had a blast!
I do love how you make sure Morgan checks out the looks. Someone should’ve done that for me. At 16 I wasn’t into a dude with a ponytail, but I was willing to overlook it since he seemed nice. It was also against dress code for my school, but they let it slide for prom.
Not in a million years would I agree to a arranged marriage. Although, I do have someone in my family my papa(dad's dad) that if he said no to a guy I was dating. I truly know it's not the right person. Because he's just not that person who would be so brutally honest about something like that unless he needed to.
I think I could trust my Mom when it comes to picking my spouse... she's a pastor and has lots of wisdom... but not my Dad or Sister lol...
Before I even clicked, the first thing I thought was, if my whole family agreed then ya, but it’s not my first choice haha! Love this video!
In my family they have joked about arranging my marriage, because I never seemed interested in anyone. I know that they would have picked someone good and godly, but I don’t feel comfortable around people I don’t know well, so that would have been a disaster. I became friends with someone, and now a year later we are falling in love, and we’ve talked about freaky future things, and both of us see us marry each other. But the funny thing is, we’re still not dating and kissing and stuff. We’re just getting to know each other more and more. And everyone is around is pushing, but I like having the time and not being pressured into things that everyone thinks are part of boy-girl relationships. It will be one day, but just not now.
Omg Jamie! I was literally just dancing to Do Life Big and I saw this video and I checked that it was pretty recent OMG
I agree that arranged marriages can work and it's great that you trust your family that much, but an arranged marriage would 100% not be for me. It actually is a question I asked myself at one point in the past, but I then had a dream that I was about to have an arranged marriage. Nothing bad even happened in the dream, and the imaginary guy was nice and did things I think are romantic, but I woke up crying and feeling sick because I HATED how much I felt like the choice had been taken away from me and I wasn't attracted to him no matter what he did or said. 😔 So, yeah, that took arranged marriage right out of the options for me. I want to be the one to choose the man and I want the man to be the one to choose me and pursue me. I would, of course, listen to friend's and family's opinions of him, but I and he need to be the ones to make that final choice to be married because we've come to love each other and want to be together for the rest of our lives.
Do a vision board for your ideal spouse, put it in the parts of your home you spend the most time in (make 2 identical vision boards). Focus on it with gladness EVERY Day, ask God to bless it, thank God for your husband every morning when you wake up. Ask God to move any obstacle out of his and your way so he can get to you quickly, ask God (Politely) to speed it up and in Jesus name it will work. It absolutely worked for me about 8 months later I was married and 6 years later I am still married. And to answer your question: yes I would consider Arranged Dating not Arranged Marriage. God bless you.
I love u Jamie grace ur my inspiration
I would probably hide myself in my closet for the rest of my life if someone that I didn't know arranged my marriage! I feel like my sister Esmé, my mom, and my dad would be the most trustworthy people that I would feel safe arranging my marriage. My dad can look at a person and within seconds he can determine their character. He's met friends of mine and said that I need to be careful with him/her because they aren't going to be someone I can depend on. And sure enough the friend betrayed me and crushed me. My mom needs sometime with the person to get a good or bad feeling. But she is an amazing woman of God so I'm sure that she would pray about it and find the best Godly husband for me. My sister is someone that will tell me her honest opinion about someone and give great input. Jamie, I hope that you will find a Godly husband that is worthy of you. You are an amazing woman and I know that God will bring you the most incredible husband when the time is right!
I honestly think the better question is : Do trust yourself enough to choose who you marry?
You obviously trust the people you choose to have in your life. I think in turn they trust you to choose who will hold the place of brother, son, and friend in their lives.
👍 😍 👍 Grace
Wow!! Here in India I am not so happy about arranged marriages, I truly believe that your family know what your likes and dislikes are and you trust them. And I will say this if someone wants to have a arranged marriage they should have a attitude and trust like you do on family.
Lol Jamie, first I wanna just say that I love you and your music and it's refreshing to see that you have an active channel where you vlog! Now, knowing my family. I would NOT lol do an arranged marriage! Like so help me and the guy they chose lol smh. But if there was any family member that I'd trust to pick a good God fearing young man that match me.. it would be my Gma (grandmommy) or my Father and idk maybe my 6 yr old little brother lol I'm not sure if he cares, but I trust his pure little judgment 😆😏
I'd go on an arranged date that my older brothers set up
Hey will you be going on tour with your new album anytime soon?
I love you Jamie!! Also I really don't think that I world be ok with an arranged marriage!! I love my family and all but I really want to see/meet/know the guy personally before I mary him😁😁😁
I would be ok with an arranged --> date
I would like to know more about what you would like your wedding to be like. I'm sure it's something you've thought about before. :)
Britt_LeAnne it’s so crazy I really haven’t planned like most girls have planned! With the exception of the food...
hahahahaha..... of course tacos..... but girl please invite me for your wedding
One of my coworkers tried to arrange a date for me with her brother and I tried to tell her that I wasn't interested, luckily her brother wasn't interested either but I honestly think it's terrible idea to arrange dates or even marriages to people.
Yes I would trust my family and close friends to have an arranged marriage!
Yeah I would consider it with some guidelines lol, I would do a date first, to get to know that person WELL lol, I'm the only son with 3 sisters, poor me, lol just imagine that! Very interesting question! Next video: first date ideas, as in who, what, when, where and why
Arranged dating I would be up for from a good handful of people.... But marriage seems too big a deal to fully arrange without being part of it
If my parents arranged for me to marry somebody without asking me, I'd probably be ticked at first, but after I think about it, I'd be fine.
Dating-wise, I agree with you 100%! if the people who I'm surrounded with whome I trust 100000% are okay with it, than I'll go for it. Marriage wise, God's going to have to hook it up Supernatural for me to make this decision. :)
Well... I'm sure that if my mom and dad doesn't agree to me know some man and merry with him, I would run out from this one. And for me, I fill attract for men that I admire personality, envolviment with God.
You made a subjective very good thinking. Well done girl.
Hi
My family is gypsy so it’s very common within my community ❤️ on my end no
If my mom were to tell me about a great guy that she just knows would be perfect for me, then yes I would cuz I trust my mom with everything she's not only the best mom but my best friend. It probably would be an arranged date not marriage right away. But I would trust her opinion. My older sister maybe but my middle sister I would not cuz I see the relationship and now marriage she is in is not that great or godly. I pray everyday that the man God created for me is safe and we are one step closer to each other.
If there was an arranged date... I'd most likely let my sister do that- she knows me pretty well and has good taste haha. As for an arranged marriage... nahhh haha I wouldn't let anyone do that not even my parents. I trust them with anything but that is a decision I'd personally want to make!
I would totally consider an arranged date....but not an arranged marriage lol.
Like you, I'd need my sister in on it to check out the dudes looks for me!
Any indians here? #teamsingle
hello jamie grace
Hi jamie, I like to ask you that, you are only one kids in your family? Thank you
Jean Louis Kompani she has a sister
Thank you shinel
I would consider an arranged date, but never an arranged marriage.
That is so sweet that you trust your parents so much! But what if you and the guy just don't click even if he's a great godly guy?
Arranged date? Sure. Arranged marriage? A million times no. I don't know anyone that knows me and my situation well enough to truly make that judgement. However, I thought this video was interesting and I do think it's a good idea to surround yourself with people who are wise in their relationships.
Also, I still can't believe people are asking you about arranged marriage in this century. Like, I know it works for some people, but I just find the whole concept just really intensely sketchy. Especially if you have a family that shouldn't be making those decisions for you and most people don't choose who arranges their marriage.
I'm ok with an arranged marriage if God did that.
nope 👁don't agree with arranged 👰🏾🕴🏼s i believe you should let father show you who to marry
I would trust my mom to find a guy for me to date. I'm not good at starting conversations, so if she could just find a good guy just by talking to him and finding out his likes and dislikes, you know, having a little interview with him, that would be great. Saves me the trouble of actually having to communicate with hundreds of guys. Although I wouldn't consider arranged marriage. The whole "spending eternity with someone" thing is kind of up to God in regards to when it's going to happen and who it's going to happen with. Especially since humans are imperfect and they have no idea who the perfect match is for me. And if they turn out to be wrong, I'm stuck with that guy for the rest of my life. And if I decide to get a divorce, I'll never be able to marry again on account of adultery being involved with that.
You should react to Jamie Grace Covers by other people.
A date, yes. Wedding, eh maybe. My parents and sister I would trust. Although I want my sister(older) to have gotten married before me. Being 27, I want to be intentional when I do date someone. I want to get married and have as many kids as God will give us, even adoption. I do suffer from TOS. I see a young woman, and I'll be like "oh hi, could you be her". Every time she's either in a relationship, just gotten out of a relationship, or too young for me. After I find out one of those, I say nope not her. One day, I'll find her.
#teamsingle yes!
Hey Jamie, can you talk about how to keep godly purity while single! We have such a sex saturated culture and it's just so difficult, especially while being single!!!
Married now but this is what helped me: 1) was never alone (like in a private area) w my boyfriend; 2) stayed open w my roommates about any impure thoughts or dreams (the more you hide the harder to stay pure); 3) I hated being disciplined so I tried to stay away from anything that would make church leaders raise an eyebrow at me and my boyfriend; 4) remembered the dream that I had for myself that I wanted to be a pure bride and I was not willing to allow anything to sully that vision I had for myself; 5) constantly reminded myself that I was worth the wait; 6) prayed...a lot; 7) cried...a lot; 8) fought back a lot of bitterness (through prayer and openness) as I watch ALL 7 of my roommates date/get engaged/get married before me; and 9) eventually I just STOPPED focusing on men/dating/sex/ideal relationships and started focusing on being the BEST me I could be (in Christ)...a year later, this guy whose guts I used to hate became a good friend (we set aside our differences). Several months later we started dating. 2 years later we got married. But to this day, I stand behind the choices I made to hold myself to a higher standard and to just focus on being the best ME I could be for Christ. And I think God blessed that. It was HARD! SEVEN roommates dating/married. But I knew I did not want that baggage and guilt to follow me into whatever marriage I was going to be in. Oh, and DON'T pigeon hold GOD into "this is the only type of man I'm interested in" nonsense. Keep your heart open. And watch GOD blow your mind. Do things His way and he will GIFT you exactly the right spouse for you (although the "packaging" might not be what you expect). --- Long, I know, but all in Christ-like LOVE. Be bless.
sundiataSMITH Amen!!! Thank you for sharing 😊
You're welcome. Just remember that dating & marriage do not protect you from impure thoughts and actions. You will be 2 sinful (but hopefully saved) people in the relationship. So, whether its your thoughts, actions, desires...you will constantly have to "fight" to stay pure. Its part of the race called life. Casually flirting with that nice looking guy at the drive up window...its been "awhile" since being intimate w your husband (your thoughts will start to wander)...not "satisfied" so you start looking elsewhere for fulfillment? Like you said, we are in a sex saturated culture. Girl...my husband be trying to talk to me about Idris Alba and I'm like NOPE...don't want to hear it...its a TRAP! Haha! I don't need anything or anyone adding to my struggles. Real talk though! I think singles think that marriage will solve all of their problems when in actuality marriage magnifies your sinful nature. But as much as marriage magnifies your sinful nature, it also acts as a foundation for God to reshape you into something greater. Marriage is hard. Those jokers ain't going home at the end of the date...LOL. But if you keep yourself open to (spiritual) growth, it is amazing.
I would do an arranged date! I trust my mom to pick the right guy for me to date. But marriage is a whole different story. But I’m almost 19 so that’s why I wouldn’t do an arranged marriage😂🙈 But an arranged date, I’m down for that haha
I would totally trust my parents & either of my pastors (& their wives) to choose a husband for me. 😄 But, that's because I trust how well they know me & the fact that they want the BEST for me & their standards are probably higher than mine are. 😂
Wow, you're brave and have a lot of faith in your family!...but I suppose if both my parents agreed on a guy, he'd most likely be a pretty good one.
Arraigned dates? Yeah! It would be a good way to meet a young man with similar beliefs and goals but.... arranged marriage.... no.😅 My mom is about the only person I'd feel no hesitation with(arraigned dates) because she's very protective and has a lot of good council. My siblings would just find some Christian guy and be like: "Hey! He's a Chistian. You two would be so cute together!" 😒
#TeamSingle
I don't look at anyone through a romantic lens. I only have one friend that's a girl.
I'm not old enough to get married nor do I want to,but...I don't know if I would trust my parents..I mean they're amazing, but they don't have the most helthy relationship. -it's nothing serious, just not the greatest relationship- So... I don't know. XD
I would NOT be interested in an arranged marriage 😂 I trust NO ONE to pick someone out for me, sorry mom & dad lol but that's all imma say about that 😂 and arranged date? Maybe :)
I would TOTALLY do it, lol.
There is this one boy in my class that my siblings want me to marry, but he is rude and sexist. My parents love him tho. He once tried to punch me in the face! Soz no arranged mairriges for me!
An arranged date yeah, but an arranged marriage would take God himself!
Could your eyes get any prettyer?!
maybe.
What if God arranged our marriage whould that be the the real truth and yet we were not really given into marriage
Yes if God's spirit revealed it to us but yet we had never met in the flesh
Noooope. Honestly, none of the really conservative people in my life, like my parents, would pick someone good. For one, the dude has got to match my libido, sorrynotsorry. But that aside, and more importantly, I have very different political, moral, and philosophical views from my family that they simply do not respect, despite sharing a religion (we are Christian) and they would not find someone who does respect me. The man I'm married to is someone who was strongly pushed on me by my parents, and thankfully he's not like they thought he was lol. But we have issues. It's getting better by the day, but if I weren't in the home situation I was as a child and later as a dating teen and had more freedom (particularly had good health and my own transportation) and was far less manipulated, I would have chosen someone else myself even though where I'm at now has been okay-ish. Honestly I would have chosen the first man I dated, but God's started using what I have now for good, especially for our daughter.
awesome sencond comment #SA#amazing
Your the best big fan you know that 👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️🐰🐰🐰👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️🐷👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️👱🏻♀️
The only one of my family that a trust to pick a boyfriend for me, would be my cat☺