I love your videos, I've recently met someone with Schizophrenia and we've been bonding great. Your videos really helped me to understand this illness a little more, thanks a lot man.
Crey Z Crey same for me, i met my gf 6 months ago, 5 months knowing she is schizophrenic, Jacobs videos have helped me very much with understanding what it is to live with this disorder, truly and inspirational guy this Jacob :D
I always have scary hallucinations and it makes my paranoia worse. I see bugs crawling, dead people, monsters, shadows, etc. I think we see things from movies cause it's stored in our brains.
I love the dynamic kitty brings to the video. I about died when you were out of breath. Idk why but I laughed so hard! Omg .Jacob you are hilarious and you don't even know it. I just love your videos and I am so glad you and your girlfriend are doing well. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing what your life is like with mental illness. It helps me and many others learn about what it's really like. Understanding is the key to compassion. Keep on strong!
Bad ass cat homie. And again thanks for the uploads. Really helps people without the condition understand seeing some of this shit happen in the moment. You're a champ Jacob
Thanks for sharing, it took me until the age of 48 to be diagnosed. I see my past in the things you say, especially the distractions and not getting to the point.
You've made hell into heaven. You're know? I was scared of schizophrenia but now that I see you've defeated it I'm looking at it as just another solvable problem
never edit. I'm learning alot about paranoid schizophrenia from you. it's important to me to try and understand what my brothers and sisters are going through with any illness. understanding fosters love.
I find that I have alot in common with you. I just recently found your channel. It is comforting to hear from someone who has lived with such familiar experiences. Thank you
Using your phone's camera function to look at the area where you perceive there to be a hallucination, do you also see that same hallucination on the screen? Or does it behave any differently, if it's there at all? I'm curious because I could imagine it being quite therapeutic for someone experiencing hallucinations were they able to use their phone to do a sort of reality check.
*For your thirst that apparently had you completely missing the point of this entire video, since you commented on NOTHING else when he opened up about his very serious mental illness:* 🌊🌊🌊🌊
I miss this format of your videos it made me feel like you were talking to me and that we were having a conversation about schizophrenia, more personal and real
I don't have schizophrenia, but rather psychosis, but my hallucinations,paranoia and delusions are too themed after death? Hallucinating dead people/ghosts or just being paranoid someone will die somehow (or me for that sake). Don't know why I'm really posting this, just felt kind of nice to know that someone else experiences this.
Wow. It makes me really sad to think about what it must be like to deal with hallucinations as a child. But, I’m glad I know more now and this really helps me understand your experience and the experiences of other people who hallucinate. Thank you.
Thank you for making these videos. I've been watching your channel for a while now, and you've inspired me to make this channel that I'm using now, where I'm now making videos about my schizophrenia. I've only made my first video today, but plan to make videos every week about different topics. I hope it's as therapeutic to me as it seems to be for you. Thank you for inspiring me, and helping me along the way for a couple years with my schizophrenia. Your videos help me, having someone to relate to. Thanks :)
So I had a hallucination that invisible children were in my backyard holding hands in a circle singing and at midnight they all went up to heaven in the garden of eden. I think the garden of eden is a cult.
my halluciations. were a demon. i havent had any of those bad ones in a long time. now i just randomly get moving pictures and paintings and whispers and voices in the other room
I have that skyrim map up on my living room lol love it! also, I love your videos, you can tell how hard you try to focus and to tell your story. Impressive.
Your videos are so educational, you have taught me a lot and opened my mind to what others go through on a daily basis. Thank you for making this account!
You're so cute.And when you look at the kitty! Such a great smile.I know you get this all the time and actually it sort of annoys me to see people saying it,but you ARE very attractive.I know that probably means very little to you but I was compelled when you called your cat cute.
qmadeline yeah, when he said that I was like...isn't everyone's brain always thinking? That's just what it does. Constantly. If it stopped, I believe that would be called unconscious, right?
Being imaginative and sensitive can be a bad combination for a person. As you are aware of everything that's possible, the good AND THE AWFUL. That's how I diagnosed myself and the only thing I could do is try not to think about terrible things. It gets better over time. You get better at putting things out of your head, over time. But i'm glad I don't see things, that's something one may not like to even imagine.
Dude when you said you see the girl from the ring i got a whole fucking chill through my body. That shit always scared me and if i saw that thing crawling up i'd probably die. Props
Is that a Skyrim map? On an actual serious and related note, death is where my depression and anxiety stem from. I have had a constant fear, fascination, and obsession with it since I was 11. Watching your videos is weirdly comforting for me.
i met this guy around a week ago, he has frequent convulsions and usually mutters to himself. i can tell he isnt fully there a lot of the time but hes a sweet kid and i want to know how i can help him. we're both homeless, hes been to the hospital one time because of a seizure. he thinks hes the lord of vampires and that hes part alien. the cops dont help him and im not sure what to do, if i even can do anything. does anyone know whats wrong with him?
This video helped get rid of my headache, just by being able to concentrate on something, going through phsycosis n shit, I sea flashes of colour and sea cats run around all the time funny enough, but my cat Billy is my best friend, he looks out for me ;) stay cool bro x
I could watch you for hours without getting bored. I love your videos man. Perhaps do a video on your first auditory hallucination experiences? If you want to. Good video nonetheless and I wish you lots of positivity :) Cute cat btw! People that like cats instantly become my favorite person, haha.
WTF, I have always had nightmares about the ring, that's crazy! Crazy only because every time I mention that movie to someone, they know little about it, so I always felt alone about it. I don't know why, but that movie has always stuck to me
Just saw your video on schizophrenia I have schizophrenia although I came down with it at age 30 because of drug abuse I’m letting you know it can get worse it was called negative affects of schizophrenia make sure you get working and pay into Social Security I’m on a Social Security check now if I didn’t have it I’d be lost
I'm not schizophrenic, but I can relate with you so much lol... I'm a thinker, too, but I'm not as creative, I'm more... logical, analysing, debating, criticising, in my head, rather than forming hypotheses, even though I'm a scientist. The mental disorder is probably rooted in genetics according to your observations; the manifestation of complex sets of proteins from genes which have pieced together in a way which gives the symptoms you suffer upon reaching a certain stage of development, perhaps?
Tyler Adams it's most likely a combination of genetic and environmental factors, I believe most mental illnesses are that way, including addiction (my main mental health problem) I don't have schizophrenia but I suspect it to be the same as other mental health issues, schizophrenia runs in families but not everyone gets it, addiction is the same, my family has a lot of drug use, my mother, father, my brother and grandparents on my dads side are the only ones who don't or haven't abused drugs, everyone else including my sister and myself has addiction issues, my uncle has schizophrenia but no one else does, so I suspect that something happened to him that didn't happen to the rest of us, drug use obviously isn't the exclusive factor in his case because we've all done drugs, most of us with addiction have been addicted to a hard drug at one point, mine were benzodiazepines, and opiates, all of my aunts were opiates and meth besides one who is on.benzos, my uncle was on meth and alcohol, my sister and grandpa were alcoholics, I've tried meth, doesn't do anything to me so I never got into it, didn't cause me nor my aunts to develop schizophrenia so I don't think it's that either, not on it's own anyway, my uncle did however get severely injured in boot camp and after that he was never the same, he broke his back basically and hit his head, we lost grandpa at the same time that happened, that's about when he started being reclusive and then started doing meth all the time, although he did experiment with it before boot camp, he seemed to get heavy into it after people noticed he was mentally ill, although only he knows that for sure, anyway as for me my only addiction right now is cigarettes, I smoke weed for my health problems that way I don't have to take benzodiazepines and opiates and I can use weed appropriately, it's one of the few substances I can use appropriately, I can't even drink caffeine with out abusing it but for some reason weed I'm able to control, I was prescribed benzodiazepines and opiates at 15 due to an illness I have and they just screw my life up, not weed though, I can actually function on pot, I also drink alcohol but obviously I'm mindful of becoming physically addicted and don't keep it in the house unless I intend to be drunk until it runs out, when it runs out I don't go buy more for a while and just practice an extreme amount of self control to keep myself from buying it until I want to check out for a couple of weeks, when I have alcohol I drink all day everyday, I can't help it, the only way to not drink is to be hungover or to not have it at home, when I go buy liquor I buy a big bottle of whiskey and a 30 pack of beer, almost every time unless I want something new or special to try, when I run out I stop for a good while, my main motivation to by alcohol is my pain, especially when I can't find weed to treat my pain (I live in the rural south so it can be difficult) if I've spent 3 months in pain and not sleeping well I break down and go buy it to numb myself.
I should mention that I'm also ADHD and I just went on a tangent lol, but I think you'll get what I was trying to say, I just can't help but talk about myself sometimes haha.
Oh I should mention my uncle has a twin who only smokes cigarettes, he tried meth a couple times but never got addicted to it, didn't do anything to him like it didn't do anything to me, no high at all, just can't sleep and can focus easier, and his twin doesnt have schizophrenia, my other uncle was never injured though the way my schizophrenic uncle was.
Hallucinating as a kid, did you know it wasn’t real? Now diagnosed at 23, educating myself on delusions and hallucinations, I recall things as a kid that I thought was “normal “ that were Infact psychotic
I saw a ghost at about 5 also, was using the potty n was like why is this fella watching me wee then was like oh shit that's a Dam ghost, didn't even finish my wee, just went str8 back to bed lol
7:10 I Saw that kind of figure also, some time later my "Halucinations" started. In my case i see a lot of spirits. Most of them i see, when i do something really bad, or socially unacceptable things, even the smallest things. Most of my halucinations are in the form of memory, than haluciantion i would say, like someone is sending thoughts and pictures to my head. Trough my life i always believed in spiritual things, but in the form of occult. Some time before i saw this white figure i converted to Christianity. This white figure was a really clear vision, like i was lying in my bed, then i opened my eyes and saw him. I waved my hand quickly and it dissapeared. My second clear vision was in my sleep some time later, when i prayed for the first time.
is anyone of your Family is affected with a mental illnes? So therapists or doctors never found out how the illness arose? it's Very Interesting to me cause i engage myself a Lot in schizophrenic diseases.. what really interests me is what your parents thought or did. you said that your schizophrenia was diagnosed Very lately. how did your environment and yourself Deal with the symptoms without professional help? enough of questions :D keep on doing these great Videos!
I'd like to speak first time in public for something that kinda bothered me for many years.. Hallucinations.. I never went to a doctor or got any kind of medications, I never spoke about that to anyone, especially not my familly. Lies, I actually spoke to my familly about my hallucinations but I got mocked or they just laughed it off. It started since I was very young, like 4 or 5 y.o., they were not so frequent (like for example every day), but they scared me each time. I felt like they want to hurt me. I never saw any kind of supernatural things, like sceletons or characters from a movie, my hallucinations were mostly humans (unknown to me) sometimes they made some weird noises while looking at me, once there was that ..figure with baby's body and head of an adult and also objects moving towards me slow. Like..very slow... Back then, I thought it was something normal, that all kids are like this, like seeing similar things like me. When I reached 17y.o. I had already got used to them and they were there daily. Speaking with other people, I found out that they didn't had these..visions(!) as kids and I wasn't even sure what to feel about it. Soon, the first depression came which lasted 6 months. At that point, I was hallucinating lights or shadows mostly, a couple of times I heard sounds that didnt exist like, for example, the sound of many people that they hit my walls. Even tho I was used to my hallucinations, I never had much experience with sounds, so these couple times I got scared to death. Depression left, then few years later it came back stronger, and lasted double the time. That happend 3 times in total. Its not like I minded, even tho I did had suicidal thoughts and I did knew I was depressed but I kinda..didn't wanted to get cured. I..liked that state I was in. And the hallucinations..they were my company. Some times I spoke to them. I never thought there might be something wrong with me, except with the depression. I couldn't imagine my self without them, I didn't knew how to live without them, and that feeling was there even when I wasn't depressed. Last time I had any kind of hallucination, I was 24. They went away with my last depression. Its been 8 years and I must admit I miss them. Growing up with these things, it's how it feels normal to me. And now that they're gone, I feel like half the person I was. Still I don't know if it was just my wild imagination or if there was a mental condition. But just in case they ever come back..I'm not sure I'd liked to see a doctor..
Glad to see you're doing well (: I like how you get distracted by your cat, she' so cute. It makes you seem more real and keeps your videos more real since you don't edit. You actually made me laugh a couple times in this video. Why were you out of breath? Lol idk I'm out of shape also.
I'm always paranoid about death, i always tell my mom about my goals, to get a good paying job, find a woman, get married and buy a house and start a family. Then i tell her but you never know anything could happen, she tells me she wants to take me to a psychologist, but i say i'm fine, i mean it is the truth. Honestly i don't see myself living past 40, but you never know.
I've never seen an ugly schizophrenic. You are definitely not an exception. Although I am impatient with people who cant get straight to the point and have very systematic way of answering a question, I really enjoy watching your videos and seeing your very interesting thought process. I think youre insanely intriguing and unique. I love your videos, man. I'm happy you're sharing your experiences.
I didn't actually see Samara from The Ring, but I was 100% sure she was about to come through the TV at one point during my awakening when it first hit me. Honestly, crazy people don't know they are crazy and I believe schizophrenia is mostly just a convenient label thrown on people with the ability to see and sense other realms of existence. This is not the only reality in existence and those veils are getting thin! Most people who are labeled schizophrenic have been prewired for communication with the other side. See Jelaila Starr's videos on starseeds, lightworkers and walk ins as well as higher perspective on schizophrenia.
When you said "you gonna keep meowing at me" my cat legit meowed and I got so paranoid that I immediately closed down youtube. It's funny (actually not funny at all) that you see the girl from The Ring cause that has always been my nightmare. Luckily I just see medieval people. Hope you're doing okay //
I don't know how into progrock you are, but if it's something you enjoy you should check out the Ayreon album the Theory of Everything. It's about this super introverted prodigy who tries to uncover the theory of everything. It sounds like it would be something you'd enjoy :). Plus, the album is epic, so there's that.
I used to sleep with my covers over my ears for years because I felt and heard bugs/insects crawl in my ears.. I recently realised I don't do that anymore and I don't feel it anymore as wel
Lol sounds like a typical medium that doesn’t know he’s a medium lol 😆, I also loved my childhood sleeping with the sheets over my face and till this day that I’m 25 I have to leave my bathroom lights on to be able to have light in my room .
There's such a difference in your mental state from your older videos to your present ones. Good job, Jacob. It's inspiring to see your progress.
I love your videos, I've recently met someone with Schizophrenia and we've been bonding great. Your videos really helped me to understand this illness a little more, thanks a lot man.
Crey Z Crey thats cool that youre willin to do research on the illness for them
Crey Z Crey same for me, i met my gf 6 months ago, 5 months knowing she is schizophrenic, Jacobs videos have helped me very much with understanding what it is to live with this disorder, truly and inspirational guy this Jacob :D
People in the 60's took acid to make the world weird....Now they take Prozac to make it normal.
akfunnyguy this should be in a book, if you saw this quote somewhere please tell me what it's from
akfunnyguy prozac is bullshit it doesnt do jack
RyanSpencerMusic Zoloft for me didn't either
I hate taking prozac
Hearing the disorganized thought patterns is really assuring. It makes me feel less alone. I'm happy you are open about this stuff.
Robert Girard he's pretty good though. He can bring himself back to the topic after realizing he's gone off track.
I absolutely love they are not in denial about your condition at all. It’s hard for a lot of people to decipher what’s real or not. Also to get help.
I always have scary hallucinations and it makes my paranoia worse. I see bugs crawling, dead people, monsters, shadows, etc. I think we see things from movies cause it's stored in our brains.
Tortilla Chips Today I saw a head on the railing.
i was expecting no real cat to be there at 1:20
StarmaGeddon Hahahaha me too 😂😅
i'm laughing hard as fuck at this but i shouldn't be
Omg same though
Thank you for making these videos.
Stay strong man. Don't give up! We're cheering for you!!
I love the dynamic kitty brings to the video. I about died when you were out of breath. Idk why but I laughed so hard! Omg .Jacob you are hilarious and you don't even know it. I just love your videos and I am so glad you and your girlfriend are doing well. Thank you.
Curiosity killed the cat,
...But the satisfaction brought him back ;)
1:26 I did not expect to actually see the cat haha
i know right! I thought he was hallucinating
you bring me so much comfort :-) thank you for such informative, interesting videos.
thats a sick shirt jacob.
It's not sick. It's happy.
Otkud Znam they meant sick as in cool.
Gloomy Skittlez i think he knows what i meant he's just trying to act smart.
ahaha
What a pointless arguement lol
I don't mind that you don't know how to edit; in fact, I think it's better this way. It's more real :D
Thank you so much for sharing what your life is like with mental illness. It helps me and many others learn about what it's really like. Understanding is the key to compassion. Keep on strong!
Bad ass cat homie. And again thanks for the uploads. Really helps people without the condition understand seeing some of this shit happen in the moment. You're a champ Jacob
you look so much better here than in the older videos! well done :)
Thanks for sharing, it took me until the age of 48 to be diagnosed. I see my past in the things you say, especially the distractions and not getting to the point.
You've made hell into heaven. You're know? I was scared of schizophrenia but now that I see you've defeated it I'm looking at it as just another solvable problem
THAT SKYRIM MAP IS LIKE THE ONE I HAVE ON MY WALL, sorry it was the second thing that caught my eye
never edit. I'm learning alot about paranoid schizophrenia from you. it's important to me to try and understand what my brothers and sisters are going through with any illness. understanding fosters love.
I find that I have alot in common with you. I just recently found your channel. It is comforting to hear from someone who has lived with such familiar experiences. Thank you
You are a very brave young man.Stay strong and positive.
I appreciate the realness, thank you Jacob. Have a great day :)
This is going to sound weird but your videos actually calm me down. Like, your voice is nice to listen to.
I could listen to him talk for hours
"I have a girlfriend"
"I have a girlfriend"
"With my girlfriend"
"I have a girlfriend"
Has to keep saying it bc of these chicks in the comments hahah
Lmao! Good one!
Using your phone's camera function to look at the area where you perceive there to be a hallucination, do you also see that same hallucination on the screen? Or does it behave any differently, if it's there at all? I'm curious because I could imagine it being quite therapeutic for someone experiencing hallucinations were they able to use their phone to do a sort of reality check.
Setnakht wow, that's one interesting thought! I'd like to know that too.
I know, right? I NEED the answer!
Setnakht no you don't see the hallucination on camera
Thanks so much! Do you speak from experience? If so was this something you'd already noticed?
Setnakht if you really have schizophrenia you don't behave
Like this guy i can assure you
What are some super recent hallucinations you've had?
You are an insanely attractive person
*For your thirst that apparently had you completely missing the point of this entire video, since you commented on NOTHING else when he opened up about his very serious mental illness:* 🌊🌊🌊🌊
if you see this jacob, i can confirm its not a delusion
Massive respect to you man
have you ever read any of Edgar Casey's work? Beautiful being you are! Thank you for sharing!
You are an inspiration. Keep making videos.
I miss this format of your videos it made me feel like you were talking to me and that we were having a conversation about schizophrenia, more personal and real
you are decoding reality in a higher level i think
I don't have schizophrenia, but rather psychosis, but my hallucinations,paranoia and delusions are too themed after death? Hallucinating dead people/ghosts or just being paranoid someone will die somehow (or me for that sake). Don't know why I'm really posting this, just felt kind of nice to know that someone else experiences this.
You look like Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides w/o makeup
Alex Nicole Waaaah, yes!
THATS WHY HES SO ATTRACTIVE WTFFF
Alex Nicole and minus looking terrible af
Bar Soap Andy is attractive you'd be lying if you said he at least wasn't attractive
Alex Nicole THATS WHAT I THOUGHT!!
a way I kinda got rid of my schizoprenia from LSD was just not to focus on those thoughts and visions no matter how logical they are
how did u find out ur hallucinations are not real? my mother is hallucinating and she thinks its real. no matter what i say.
Wow. It makes me really sad to think about what it must be like to deal with hallucinations as a child. But, I’m glad I know more now and this really helps me understand your experience and the experiences of other people who hallucinate. Thank you.
Thank you for making these videos. I've been watching your channel for a while now, and you've inspired me to make this channel that I'm using now, where I'm now making videos about my schizophrenia. I've only made my first video today, but plan to make videos every week about different topics. I hope it's as therapeutic to me as it seems to be for you. Thank you for inspiring me, and helping me along the way for a couple years with my schizophrenia. Your videos help me, having someone to relate to. Thanks :)
aw you and your cat made me so happy
and I like how you don't edit your videos, it makes them real
I don't think you understand how attractive you are.
Ch1ll
i know right !!! hahha
trust me that he knows
Tru
Devin Martinez so true I was just staring at him like Jesus Christ 😍😍
So I had a hallucination that invisible children were in my backyard holding hands in a circle singing and at midnight they all went up to heaven in the garden of eden. I think the garden of eden is a cult.
There was the garden of eden chant/song
my halluciations. were a demon. i havent had any of those bad ones in a long time. now i just randomly get moving pictures and paintings and whispers and voices in the other room
I have that skyrim map up on my living room lol love it! also, I love your videos, you can tell how hard you try to focus and to tell your story. Impressive.
I applaud how brave you are to share your experiences.
You know what is strange I just watched a video about Hallucinations and someone else with Schizophrenia had the same image of the girl from The Ring.
I was glad to see there was a real cat at 1:30
Your videos are so educational, you have taught me a lot and opened my mind to what others go through on a daily basis. Thank you for making this account!
i love your shirt!
You're so cute.And when you look at the kitty! Such a great smile.I know you get this all the time and actually it sort of annoys me to see people saying it,but you ARE very attractive.I know that probably means very little to you but I was compelled when you called your cat cute.
If i was schizophrenic id draw all my hallucinations.
out of breath from the experience of the hallucination recall.
I really wish I knew you in person, I feel like we would be great friends. I like your personality a lot
GameAndElse yes she wants it. But girls are so sneaky:" I like your personality" 😅😉
She wants the D
You remind me of myself brother, keep ya head up, stay strong, I'm struggling myself ✌️
your brain always thinks... that's what it does. its purpose. there's nothing abnormal about constantly thinking of theories, probabilities, so on...
qmadeline yeah, when he said that I was like...isn't everyone's brain always thinking? That's just what it does. Constantly. If it stopped, I believe that would be called unconscious, right?
Being imaginative and sensitive can be a bad combination for a person. As you are aware of everything that's possible, the good AND THE AWFUL. That's how I diagnosed myself and the only thing I could do is try not to think about terrible things. It gets better over time. You get better at putting things out of your head, over time. But i'm glad I don't see things, that's something one may not like to even imagine.
Dude when you said you see the girl from the ring i got a whole fucking chill through my body. That shit always scared me and if i saw that thing crawling up i'd probably die. Props
Is that a Skyrim map? On an actual serious and related note, death is where my depression and anxiety stem from. I have had a constant fear, fascination, and obsession with it since I was 11. Watching your videos is weirdly comforting for me.
i met this guy around a week ago, he has frequent convulsions and usually mutters to himself. i can tell he isnt fully there a lot of the time but hes a sweet kid and i want to know how i can help him. we're both homeless, hes been to the hospital one time because of a seizure. he thinks hes the lord of vampires and that hes part alien. the cops dont help him and im not sure what to do, if i even can do anything. does anyone know whats wrong with him?
This video helped get rid of my headache, just by being able to concentrate on something, going through phsycosis n shit, I sea flashes of colour and sea cats run around all the time funny enough, but my cat Billy is my best friend, he looks out for me ;) stay cool bro x
You are a light shining...Its great to see your videos...im encouraged to apply myself after watching you..thnk you so muxh!
My Schizo brain is wierd and creative as well. I'm hoping and is working on becoming a scientist someday.
I am a lesbian but if I was straight omg. Jacob is very handsome
Literally no one cares about your sexuality.
You have a creative mind. Embrace that.
I've been seeing things. Little faces in designs, numbers, dinosaurs in patterns of things. I was sober too. First time it's ever gotten that weird.
I could watch you for hours without getting bored. I love your videos man. Perhaps do a video on your first auditory hallucination experiences? If you want to. Good video nonetheless and I wish you lots of positivity :) Cute cat btw! People that like cats instantly become my favorite person, haha.
WTF, I have always had nightmares about the ring, that's crazy! Crazy only because every time I mention that movie to someone, they know little about it, so I always felt alone about it. I don't know why, but that movie has always stuck to me
How did you meet your girlfriend?
Just saw your video on schizophrenia I have schizophrenia although I came down with it at age 30 because of drug abuse I’m letting you know it can get worse it was called negative affects of schizophrenia make sure you get working and pay into Social Security I’m on a Social Security check now if I didn’t have it I’d be lost
I love cats as well, I love animals in general as most people in the autistic spectrum, but I have a special bond with my cat.
I've been watching you since like 2014, you're so attractive omg
I'm not schizophrenic, but I can relate with you so much lol... I'm a thinker, too, but I'm not as creative, I'm more... logical, analysing, debating, criticising, in my head, rather than forming hypotheses, even though I'm a scientist. The mental disorder is probably rooted in genetics according to your observations; the manifestation of complex sets of proteins from genes which have pieced together in a way which gives the symptoms you suffer upon reaching a certain stage of development, perhaps?
sometimes I hypothesise, though^;)
>tfw to intellegint
Tyler Adams it's most likely a combination of genetic and environmental factors, I believe most mental illnesses are that way, including addiction (my main mental health problem) I don't have schizophrenia but I suspect it to be the same as other mental health issues, schizophrenia runs in families but not everyone gets it, addiction is the same, my family has a lot of drug use, my mother, father, my brother and grandparents on my dads side are the only ones who don't or haven't abused drugs, everyone else including my sister and myself has addiction issues, my uncle has schizophrenia but no one else does, so I suspect that something happened to him that didn't happen to the rest of us, drug use obviously isn't the exclusive factor in his case because we've all done drugs, most of us with addiction have been addicted to a hard drug at one point, mine were benzodiazepines, and opiates, all of my aunts were opiates and meth besides one who is on.benzos, my uncle was on meth and alcohol, my sister and grandpa were alcoholics, I've tried meth, doesn't do anything to me so I never got into it, didn't cause me nor my aunts to develop schizophrenia so I don't think it's that either, not on it's own anyway, my uncle did however get severely injured in boot camp and after that he was never the same, he broke his back basically and hit his head, we lost grandpa at the same time that happened, that's about when he started being reclusive and then started doing meth all the time, although he did experiment with it before boot camp, he seemed to get heavy into it after people noticed he was mentally ill, although only he knows that for sure, anyway as for me my only addiction right now is cigarettes, I smoke weed for my health problems that way I don't have to take benzodiazepines and opiates and I can use weed appropriately, it's one of the few substances I can use appropriately, I can't even drink caffeine with out abusing it but for some reason weed I'm able to control, I was prescribed benzodiazepines and opiates at 15 due to an illness I have and they just screw my life up, not weed though, I can actually function on pot, I also drink alcohol but obviously I'm mindful of becoming physically addicted and don't keep it in the house unless I intend to be drunk until it runs out, when it runs out I don't go buy more for a while and just practice an extreme amount of self control to keep myself from buying it until I want to check out for a couple of weeks, when I have alcohol I drink all day everyday, I can't help it, the only way to not drink is to be hungover or to not have it at home, when I go buy liquor I buy a big bottle of whiskey and a 30 pack of beer, almost every time unless I want something new or special to try, when I run out I stop for a good while, my main motivation to by alcohol is my pain, especially when I can't find weed to treat my pain (I live in the rural south so it can be difficult) if I've spent 3 months in pain and not sleeping well I break down and go buy it to numb myself.
I should mention that I'm also ADHD and I just went on a tangent lol, but I think you'll get what I was trying to say, I just can't help but talk about myself sometimes haha.
Oh I should mention my uncle has a twin who only smokes cigarettes, he tried meth a couple times but never got addicted to it, didn't do anything to him like it didn't do anything to me, no high at all, just can't sleep and can focus easier, and his twin doesnt have schizophrenia, my other uncle was never injured though the way my schizophrenic uncle was.
Ive had it for 17 years, don't worry to much about your future, just relax and live day by day. :)
Hallucinating as a kid, did you know it wasn’t real? Now diagnosed at 23, educating myself on delusions and hallucinations, I recall things as a kid that I thought was “normal “ that were Infact psychotic
I saw a ghost at about 5 also, was using the potty n was like why is this fella watching me wee then was like oh shit that's a Dam ghost, didn't even finish my wee, just went str8 back to bed lol
7:10 I Saw that kind of figure also, some time later my "Halucinations" started. In my case i see a lot of spirits. Most of them i see, when i do something really bad, or socially unacceptable things, even the smallest things. Most of my halucinations are in the form of memory, than haluciantion i would say, like someone is sending thoughts and pictures to my head. Trough my life i always believed in spiritual things, but in the form of occult. Some time before i saw this white figure i converted to Christianity. This white figure was a really clear vision, like i was lying in my bed, then i opened my eyes and saw him. I waved my hand quickly and it dissapeared. My second clear vision was in my sleep some time later, when i prayed for the first time.
is anyone of your Family is affected with a mental illnes? So therapists or doctors never found out how the illness arose? it's Very Interesting to me cause i engage myself a Lot in schizophrenic diseases.. what really interests me is what your parents thought or did. you said that your schizophrenia was diagnosed Very lately. how did your environment and yourself Deal with the symptoms without professional help?
enough of questions :D keep on doing these great Videos!
I'd like to speak first time in public for something that kinda bothered me for many years.. Hallucinations.. I never went to a doctor or got any kind of medications, I never spoke about that to anyone, especially not my familly. Lies, I actually spoke to my familly about my hallucinations but I got mocked or they just laughed it off. It started since I was very young, like 4 or 5 y.o., they were not so frequent (like for example every day), but they scared me each time. I felt like they want to hurt me. I never saw any kind of supernatural things, like sceletons or characters from a movie, my hallucinations were mostly humans (unknown to me) sometimes they made some weird noises while looking at me, once there was that ..figure with baby's body and head of an adult and also objects moving towards me slow. Like..very slow... Back then, I thought it was something normal, that all kids are like this, like seeing similar things like me. When I reached 17y.o. I had already got used to them and they were there daily. Speaking with other people, I found out that they didn't had these..visions(!) as kids and I wasn't even sure what to feel about it. Soon, the first depression came which lasted 6 months. At that point, I was hallucinating lights or shadows mostly, a couple of times I heard sounds that didnt exist like, for example, the sound of many people that they hit my walls. Even tho I was used to my hallucinations, I never had much experience with sounds, so these couple times I got scared to death. Depression left, then few years later it came back stronger, and lasted double the time. That happend 3 times in total. Its not like I minded, even tho I did had suicidal thoughts and I did knew I was depressed but I kinda..didn't wanted to get cured. I..liked that state I was in. And the hallucinations..they were my company. Some times I spoke to them. I never thought there might be something wrong with me, except with the depression. I couldn't imagine my self without them, I didn't knew how to live without them, and that feeling was there even when I wasn't depressed. Last time I had any kind of hallucination, I was 24. They went away with my last depression. Its been 8 years and I must admit I miss them. Growing up with these things, it's how it feels normal to me. And now that they're gone, I feel like half the person I was. Still I don't know if it was just my wild imagination or if there was a mental condition. But just in case they ever come back..I'm not sure I'd liked to see a doctor..
You're cool. And brave. That's a rarity in this world of our.
Glad to see you're doing well (: I like how you get distracted by your cat, she' so cute. It makes you seem more real and keeps your videos more real since you don't edit. You actually made me laugh a couple times in this video. Why were you out of breath? Lol idk I'm out of shape also.
Bro, what birds chirping? Can't hear no birds. Kust kidding lol.
I'm always paranoid about death, i always tell my mom about my goals, to get a good paying job, find a woman, get married and buy a house and start a family. Then i tell her but you never know anything could happen, she tells me she wants to take me to a psychologist, but i say i'm fine, i mean it is the truth. Honestly i don't see myself living past 40, but you never know.
Recalling episodes makes me out of breath too.
your're such a Sweetheart. Love how you love the kitty
I've never seen an ugly schizophrenic. You are definitely not an exception. Although I am impatient with people who cant get straight to the point and have very systematic way of answering a question, I really enjoy watching your videos and seeing your very interesting thought process. I think youre insanely intriguing and unique. I love your videos, man. I'm happy you're sharing your experiences.
I didn't actually see Samara from The Ring, but I was 100% sure she was about to come through the TV at one point during my awakening when it first hit me. Honestly, crazy people don't know they are crazy and I believe schizophrenia is mostly just a convenient label thrown on people with the ability to see and sense other realms of existence. This is not the only reality in existence and those veils are getting thin! Most people who are labeled schizophrenic have been prewired for communication with the other side. See Jelaila Starr's videos on starseeds, lightworkers and walk ins as well as higher perspective on schizophrenia.
When you said "you gonna keep meowing at me" my cat legit meowed and I got so paranoid that I immediately closed down youtube.
It's funny (actually not funny at all) that you see the girl from The Ring cause that has always been my nightmare. Luckily I just see medieval people. Hope you're doing okay //
I see that poster in the background ;)
I don't know how into progrock you are, but if it's something you enjoy you should check out the Ayreon album the Theory of Everything. It's about this super introverted prodigy who tries to uncover the theory of everything. It sounds like it would be something you'd enjoy :). Plus, the album is epic, so there's that.
I used to sleep with my covers over my ears for years because I felt and heard bugs/insects crawl in my ears.. I recently realised I don't do that anymore and I don't feel it anymore as wel
Maybe ur hallucinations revolve around death bc when u were younger u were exposed too early to that kinda stuff?
nikki williams and having been to so many funerals, I understand why some parents don't allow their children to attend funerals
idk why but i really fucking enjoy your videos they are so interesting keep it up
i spy a map of Skyrim on the wall 😎
Dont do drugs kids.
Jacob! You should look at videos about sacred geometry, Im sure you will find it interesting~
its hypnotizing. it opens doorways. visual drugs basically. gotta be careful not to look at a nordic rune the wrong way on a full moon though.
Sean Kent what are you talking about? just google or search on youtube "sacred geometry"
I see this bat monster thing who I’m paranoid about taking over my body
Lol sounds like a typical medium that doesn’t know he’s a medium lol 😆, I also loved my childhood sleeping with the sheets over my face and till this day that I’m 25 I have to leave my bathroom lights on to be able to have light in my room .