I know your reply was a few years back. But I remember being in a book writing seminar and this lady walked in saying she just wanted to find a ghost writer to write a book and man, the room was extremely tense. It was hilarious.
I've known two CEOs and they were both really down to earth, kind people but they both worked for companies that weren't giant but still good sized national companies
and here I thought portraying people of other races in a stereotypical way was considered peak racist these days. But okay... guess for some it still is a great pleasure.
@@memento81 If I posted twice I am sorry. Heck yeah this is my type of humor. It isn't even racist, sexist, but against arrogant narcissistic people. The Christian Bale from American Psychology was perfect. Edit: Ah screw spell check. Anyway a perfect sketch to me. All the skinless SOBS can cry, until you have actually no skin then holy crap that has to be painful. Just watched a Korean movie and was horrified at one point.
Matt has great timing. Everyone in the comments are bringing up Christian Bale, but MDs character reminds me more of Jim Carrey playing Patrick Bateman.
J. Hahaha, that's exactly how I use them. And only occasionally a sushi roll slips between my chopsticks, goes flying across the room and gracefully lands into somebody's eye.
+J. It's quite amazing - she's the first person I've seen who can do the egg-and-spoon race to her mouth with her chopsticks held in an upside down style.
I keep coming back to this and every time he projectile hurls that last mouthful I can't help from busting out laughing!!! How to blow sea urchin like a CEO!!! 😂
Me too! He could barely contain his gag reflex after eating the oyster. His enticing sales pitch for the shrimp... "its raw, and its still got its head". ROTFL
This is hilarious! Back in the 80’s I was a young Marine in Okinawa and went to a real sushi bar, not some place near the base. I had a buddy, who even resembled Matt Dillon a little, who was trying to impress the staff there with his limited Japanese. The thing I remember most about that day was that I kept asking what this green stuff is, and he was too distracted and not answering me. I took a big bite out of it and it was horseradish. I started spitting it up and choking and he turns around and says “What the fuck is the matter with you?”. Everyone in the restaurant was laughing at me, to this day I still laugh thinking about it.
As I was watching this, I was thinking, "Holy shit, is this guy a douche or what?" And then Maya's character actually calls him "Mr. Douche" and I about lost my shit. This was really funny!
These comments make me feel ashamed because I don't know how to use chopsticks. Update: since then through practice and patience I have learned. Thank you for the supportive comments :)
Me neither, don't feel ashamed. These days, I just ask for those easy-to-handle chopsticks. Much better than putting my clumsiness on display every time.
Buy a few pairs (it's like, a dollar for five) cook and eat with them at home. Pro tip, if you're eating rice, don't eat the rice from a flat plate - that's insane. Put the rice in a small bowl. Think of the chopsticks and bowl as like your knife and fork.
Went to eat sushi with girlfriend and her sister and her date, the date was ordering everything in Japanese the chef says l dont speak Japanese I'm Korean, the three of us busted up laughing and her date felt hella stupid cause he was always trying to show off, he was always fronting.Hilarius
Just to be clear if a person is literally speaking in Japanese and they put in the effort to learn Japanese so that they can order in Japanese they are absolutely not fronting. That's legit effort. Like, a lot of it.
ah damn it was on ebay for a while...was sold for a few thousands and thousands of dollars in just a few hours..it's so rare nobody can tell when will the next one be auctioned...
I lived in Japan for four years and learned to eat sushi there. In Japanese. But at that time (early 80s), sushi was only available in big cities in America. After a year back in East Texas, this sushi-starved girl was happy to go to Dallas to a sushi restaurant. But, a problem: the waiter was Chinese, and I only spoke sushi in Japanese. Luckily, a couple of places opened up at the bar, and the sushiya was happy to speak Japanese with us. I went home and ordered a poster that showed the English names for sushi. There's a sushi bar in my little home town now. My, how times have changed.
To the replies of this comment above: do y’all actually find it funny or edgy to respond negatively to something that shouldn’t offend you at all or am I missing something? Because I guarantee you nobody cares even more about your opinion rather than a nice and wholesome little story. Grow up.
@@EMBEEAY wtf that story was ridiculous... it was the worst comment in the comment section. it’s like the kind of story your grandmother tells that you have zero interest in.... she calls herself a sushi starved girl... cringe....and then says she went to get sushi and the waiter was Chinese and she only spoke sushi in Japanese which is also ridiculous and bordering on racism towards Chinese people. I guarantee you that the Chinese waiter knew the sushi names in Japanese or English. Then she ends with “how times have changed.” Time always change. One day there will be more Korean BBQ places then they’re now.... but one needs to hear a story about in the comment section of an SNL skit video.
I like it too In small amounts. I felt very decadent when I lived in Crete, Greece and could get whole, immediately fresh sea urchin. That and fresh oyster are just slurping up pure sea mana.
I'm Japanese and I was surprised at how well Maya Rudolph did Japanese-English accents. But the "namida" thing... I've never heard anyone call wasabi "namida" haha
I love how this skit was clearly an excuse to make him eat gross (if you're not used to it) food. I also love how committed SNL actors are sometimes, spitting in each others mouths and making out and such. lol.
I've done this before with my awesome stepmom who is Thai. We went to a market and bought crabs back. They were still wiggling in their package when I got home. I was like, why didn't they die of suffocation, as they were sealed with see-through wrap. She said very directly, "What? you think they die so easily?" Her tone matched her words.
Directions in a book how to order sushi with that much description pages would actually I believe be something a lot of people would buy, And Beginners Book to Sushi is an interest point of description for many people they could enjoy. It sounds and looks like a very good book.
I love Maya's face 🤣 Reminds me of what one of Kristen Wiig's characters says "That's America...it's a problem". In fact, in my opinion, it can be a problem in places that are inhabited by people who think "You know what, I am more sophisticated than you are".
The first time I ate sea urchin, I almost threw up. The 2nd time, my body recognized that since I wasn't poisoned the 1st time, sea urchcin actually tasted good, really good!
"Impressive. She knows what uni is"
And she's not even a CEO.
:D
Greta M. Haha!
I was your 1000th like
Well she's a woman, obviously she can't be a CEO.
I started crying after seeing the look on her face
@Sharon Jensen n
I've worked with a couple of CEO types before and the part about "paying someone to write their book" is so true lmao
Lol, for sure! I used to work as a writer for a content mill and this guy just portrayed 80% of our clients
That was my favorite line
I know your reply was a few years back. But I remember being in a book writing seminar and this lady walked in saying she just wanted to find a ghost writer to write a book and man, the room was extremely tense. It was hilarious.
I've known two CEOs and they were both really down to earth, kind people but they both worked for companies that weren't giant but still good sized national companies
Sounds very trumpesque
“Hi. I’m a CEO-Type at a large business firm. So you can imagine, I eat a lot of sushi. Like boatloads. Like beaucoup sushi.”
Fantastic opening
Also mangling French as of course it should be "beaucoup de sushis".
sushi boat is delicious
Matt Dillon is not only one of my favorite actors, but truly underrated as-well.
REALL
He looks amazing
The woman in the back has a story. She's learning to use chopsticks from her SO. This sketch has layers guys
John Doe
i thought she was just really hungry. That sushi looks nasty and she kept eating them while using the chopsticks poorly. What a actress
3 layer. bitch using chopsticks(back)-CEOcomedy-CameraBrosnScript
What does SO stand for?
BL Jones
Significant Other (Boyfriend/Husband)
Maya Rudolph doing comedy sketches in a variety of hairstyles, outfits and roles is one of life's great pleasures.
American psycho! Part 2.
That it is what it reminded me of.
and here I thought portraying people of other races in a stereotypical way was considered peak racist these days. But okay... guess for some it still is a great pleasure.
@@memento81 If I posted twice I am sorry.
Heck yeah this is my type of humor. It isn't even racist, sexist, but against arrogant narcissistic people.
The Christian Bale from American Psychology was perfect.
Edit: Ah screw spell check. Anyway a perfect sketch to me. All the skinless SOBS can cry, until you have actually no skin then holy crap that has to be painful. Just watched a Korean movie and was horrified at one point.
@@memento81 it is low-key cultural appropriation...but it's not offesinsive,it is just to to play a part.
@@dianapennepacker6854 you’re trying way too hard in your reply... you definitely voted Biden.
He's just a really professional looking weeabo.
U been saying weeabo before it was a popular insult
@@macyormomo2676 omg hahaha 😂
@@macyormomo2676 Nah, it's been around for over 10 years. I used to see it a lot on IRC nearly 15 years ago...
@@macyormomo2676 you sound pretty young but weaboo was an insult since i was a kid, that shits been around for abour 15-20 years
Wait until you see his katana collection in his office.
You don't often see hosts carry a sketch practically by themselves like this.
What about Steven Seagal? /s
Matt has great timing. Everyone in the comments are bringing up Christian Bale, but MDs character reminds me more of Jim Carrey playing Patrick Bateman.
@@sammygirl6910 Wow I can really see that!!
Only the goods ones.
@Judy Thompson Did you just steal the second top comment ?
from a Japanese speaker, her accent was pretty damn good lmao
Her stepmom is Japanese.
Especially when she said “shrimps”
I'm mostly impressed by how good Matt Dillon pulls off the CEO look, could not have seen that before.
He’s come a long way. From Rumble Fish to….raw fish.
Oh my, I didn't recognise him.
He's still so handsome. 🤩😛
@@digby_doorighthe is indeed 😌
I knew I knew the name and voice but couldn't place him.
Somebody should teach the woman behind him to use chopsticks.
I know right! The way that woman uses chopsticks really bothers me
J. Hahaha, that's exactly how I use them. And only occasionally a sushi roll slips between my chopsticks, goes flying across the room and gracefully lands into somebody's eye.
Anindya Sekarnagri I'm happy to see that extras get to eat.
+J. Ikr? I've been staring at her for a while now
+J. It's quite amazing - she's the first person I've seen who can do the egg-and-spoon race to her mouth with her chopsticks held in an upside down style.
Maya’s facial expressions are perfect 🤣
Yeah, but she's no m&m 😂
I’m Japanese and I’m so impressed by how Maya did her accent. I seriously talk like that😂
"Apparently, that's my last name in Japanese" 😂
Her sly look at the camera at 3:50 absolutely kills me. Comic timing = 100%
Sly and malevolent!
Strong Patrick Bateman "American Psycho" vibes here (I'm not the first to note this!)
Totally, it’s like a kitchen sink of toxic masculinity, insecurity/need fir dominance etc...
Guess he still can’t get that reservation to Dorsia!
@@alphamega2481 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It's okay, 'cause he had to go return some videotapes anyway.
do you mean Christian Bale?
Was looking for this comment
I came solely for maya rudolph's face at 1:40
1:16 too! 😄
+Gabriel La Guardia Or at 3:50
+Gabriel La Guardia The look on her face when "...she knows what uni is.." 01:12
i'm so sorry you have such kindergarten sence of humor. That face is the only piece of crap that ruins that brilliant gag.
I came at 1:40 and Mya Rudolph's face also
I keep coming back to this and every time he projectile hurls that last mouthful I can't help from busting out laughing!!! How to blow sea urchin like a CEO!!! 😂
Me too! He could barely contain his gag reflex after eating the oyster. His enticing sales pitch for the shrimp... "its raw, and its still got its head". ROTFL
"How to blow sea urchin like a CEO" sounds like a "spicy" book title 🤣
mitt romney meets christian bale in american psycho :') "FENOMENAL"
He plays himself
hahahaahah!
🤣
I read this right when he said phenomenal.
THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT
This is hilarious! Back in the 80’s I was a young Marine in Okinawa and went to a real sushi bar, not some place near the base. I had a buddy, who even resembled Matt Dillon a little, who was trying to impress the staff there with his limited Japanese. The thing I remember most about that day was that I kept asking what this green stuff is, and he was too distracted and not answering me. I took a big bite out of it and it was horseradish. I started spitting it up and choking and he turns around and says “What the fuck is the matter with you?”. Everyone in the restaurant was laughing at me, to this day I still laugh thinking about it.
@vic Jimenez You learned real fast what the matter was with you!!!
That is the funniest story. 😂
Oh something similar happened to me at a chinese restaurant in Houston, I ate hot mustard and thought I got poisoned 😂
I am a ceo type and I love fried sushi amaebi.
maya's face at 3:50 is to die for omg
go ahead
Mona Lisa
😏😏😏
1:40 too
1.40 is awesome 😀
I always crack up at "Impressive. She knows what uni is"
Reminds me of a few American tourists I saw in Japan lol
reminds me of deez nuts on your chin
Freaking weebs
Miss Mac lol
Well, not a lot of Japanese people speak English
lol just a few??
''Theres nothing i like more than mid morning felatio''
I'm more a tea & doughnut type of guy...
Maya is possibly one of the most underrated members of SNL, she slays EVERY TIME, even with few lines
What is her rating?
You mean overrated, surely. She has never made me even chuckle.
@@goombapizza6335 Everybody seems to know her rating except me.
Ooohhhhhh Shiaaaaaa
I think she's awesome. She MAKES every sketch she's in. Looking forward to her playing Kamala Harris 'til 2024, at least.
As I was watching this, I was thinking, "Holy shit, is this guy a douche or what?" And then Maya's character actually calls him "Mr. Douche" and I about lost my shit. This was really funny!
This character should be on every Saturday.
thegrimyeaper i
True!!
@Lord Farquaad girl, he's still alive, still looks the same too :)
Lord Farquaad you’re acting like 2006 is 1906.
I would love to see him on diferent restaurants each episode xD (specially on a mexican food truck).
That face after he said,"arigato"😂😂😂😂
These comments make me feel ashamed because I don't know how to use chopsticks.
Update: since then through practice and patience I have learned. Thank you for the supportive comments :)
Me neither, don't feel ashamed. These days, I just ask for those easy-to-handle chopsticks. Much better than putting my clumsiness on display every time.
They also invented fork you know. It works with noodle and sushi. No Asian will laugh at you for using fork. We use it too.
Lily Craotic i am a asian too and i do eat with a fork
Lily Craotic and Nickie Idrus: thanks, good to know!
Buy a few pairs (it's like, a dollar for five) cook and eat with them at home. Pro tip, if you're eating rice, don't eat the rice from a flat plate - that's insane. Put the rice in a small bowl. Think of the chopsticks and bowl as like your knife and fork.
This sketch is from 2006 but feels so 80's.
"Anything else Mr. Douche?" I like to say that line randomly to people 😃
sure you do, sweets, sure you do
Went to eat sushi with girlfriend and her sister and her date, the date was ordering everything in Japanese the chef says l dont speak Japanese I'm Korean, the three of us busted up laughing and her date felt hella stupid cause he was always trying to show off, he was always fronting.Hilarius
😂
I bet if the chef answered him in Korean, Big Shot would have assumed he was speaking Japanese.
Just to be clear if a person is literally speaking in Japanese and they put in the effort to learn Japanese so that they can order in Japanese they are absolutely not fronting.
That's legit effort. Like, a lot of it.
@@Invirulent True but also he looked at an Asian dude and just went with "yea this guy is Japanese" I would laugh too if he made that mistake
They aren’t frontin at all. They know how to speak a language. How the hell was he supposed to know he was Korean
Matt Dillon is did a comeback. He always plays low rent working class characters but he does white collar really well!
yeah Drugstore Cowboy was a great film in the low rent category.
All working class know how to spoof empty suits. 😎
He’s being very sincere for he stated that he paid someone to write his book on How to order Sushi like a CEO
That couple struggling with chopsticks ina the background deserves a "Best Extra" award xD
no, they are both holding them so low. That is just wrong.
I searched for the book on Amazon but couldn't find it.
found it yet?
ah damn it was on ebay for a while...was sold for a few thousands and thousands of dollars in just a few hours..it's so rare nobody can tell when will the next one be auctioned...
Found it yet?
Fake news.
I can sell you a copy for $87.85. Just send a money order or cash to me first.
Maya doesn't even have to say anything. She can just stand there & I would laugh. 😂 Same with Bill Hader.
Matt got to be one of the funniest cats around as well the best actors of all his generation has produce.
*He was trembling when had to eat the Shrimp*
Haven’t had sushi in 9 months. I’m dying to pour loser soy sauce on a giant clam
I lived in Japan for four years and learned to eat sushi there. In Japanese. But at that time (early 80s), sushi was only available in big cities in America. After a year back in East Texas, this sushi-starved girl was happy to go to Dallas to a sushi restaurant. But, a problem: the waiter was Chinese, and I only spoke sushi in Japanese. Luckily, a couple of places opened up at the bar, and the sushiya was happy to speak Japanese with us.
I went home and ordered a poster that showed the English names for sushi.
There's a sushi bar in my little home town now. My, how times have changed.
No one cares
Rob K is right
To the replies of this comment above: do y’all actually find it funny or edgy to respond negatively to something that shouldn’t offend you at all or am I missing something? Because I guarantee you nobody cares even more about your opinion rather than a nice and wholesome little story. Grow up.
@@EMBEEAY wtf that story was ridiculous... it was the worst comment in the comment section. it’s like the kind of story your grandmother tells that you have zero interest in.... she calls herself a sushi starved girl... cringe....and then says she went to get sushi and the waiter was Chinese and she only spoke sushi in Japanese which is also ridiculous and bordering on racism towards Chinese people. I guarantee you that the Chinese waiter knew the sushi names in Japanese or English. Then she ends with “how times have changed.” Time always change. One day there will be more Korean BBQ places then they’re now.... but one needs to hear a story about in the comment section of an SNL skit video.
@@robk8648 why are you so offended by another persons story
Matt Dillion proving why he’s a legend.
Where is he?! He was a one of a kind. Very "CEO Type" appearance😂 the way things are he could even play a Politician😂😂😂
Y’all leave the girl in the background alone she was just trying to make some money!
if california rolls and a seaweed salad with pork gyoza makes me a square, i can accept that lmao
I LOVE MATT DILLON SM 😍😍
Lmfaooo I died when he started spitting out the food 😂
I swear Maya Rudolph can play as any race on this planet
...or maybe Even beyond
When he picked 'uni'… I was literally shouting "noooo!!" 🤣 I kinda knew he's gonna throw it out!
Uni is delicious though! (As long as it's super fresh)
What! It’s good!
I like it too In small amounts. I felt very decadent when I lived in Crete, Greece and could get whole, immediately fresh sea urchin. That and fresh oyster are just slurping up pure sea mana.
All these years later Matt Dillon still is so good looking gjhfgjjkg
Is this mitt Romney?
Thats awesome, what a perfect ceo sketich..,l love Matt Dillon.. such a genuine person and actor. he can do any kind od acting... and so aquarius😀
I wish this book was available!! It would make a great Christmas gift.
Maya looks really beautiful in this sketch 💕
I'm Japanese and I was surprised at how well Maya Rudolph did Japanese-English accents.
But the "namida" thing... I've never heard anyone call wasabi "namida" haha
Her stepmom is Japanese and helped raise her after her mom died. I'd say that gives her an edge in this regard.
Doesn't namida mean tears? 😂
0:12 those guys in the background have no idea how to use chopsticks
He’s great. In There’s Something About Mary, he was outrageously funny. Underrated comedy talent
Roller pig?
Dillon morphed into Ben Stiller there for a moment lmao. The best part of this skit is Maya's flawless Japanese accent! 😂
I can tell he really enjoyed that.
"I'm going to kiss this baby with just a little shoyu sauce." *absolutely drowns it and washes away any flavor the clam actually had.*
"Impressive, she knows what Uni is."
Maya's facial expressions never fail to kill me
I love how this skit was clearly an excuse to make him eat gross (if you're not used to it) food. I also love how committed SNL actors are sometimes, spitting in each others mouths and making out and such. lol.
0:45 Kiefer Sutherland cameo?! and major missed opportunity: dont act like a zero, be a CEO *HERO!! *
Maya nailed the pronunciation for sashimi. Impressed!
dude i have watched this like 100 times and still laugh when i watch it again
1:39 LOL THE BEST PART LOL
I've done this before with my awesome stepmom who is Thai. We went to a market and bought crabs back. They were still wiggling in their package when I got home. I was like, why didn't they die of suffocation, as they were sealed with see-through wrap. She said very directly, "What? you think they die so easily?" Her tone matched her words.
"Ay yu yedy to orda?" LOL, she's really good at impersonating Japanese Waitress. 😂😂
+Egi Marcell and how she's annoyed at white people with bad Japanese
"yedy"?
Nah...swing and a miss
Nah, more like "Aru yuu redii foru oruda?"
@@リアプロ ohhda xD
@@HomasterX I believe her mom is Japanese
2:39 that look says it all
I hate this character so much. He's that good.
Lol Maya is nailing that Japanese accent
Maya Rudolph knows how to play to the camera so well!
I'm jealous of the extras in the background that got to eat all that sushi.
Didn’t Matt Dillon played Dallas Winston from the outsiders? He aged like fine wine ❤
'Please, call me Norman. My father was Mr. Douche.'
Genius 🤣
Maya stole the entire show with her expressions haha
Directions in a book how to order sushi with that much description pages would actually I believe be something a lot of people would buy,
And Beginners Book to Sushi is an interest point of description for many people they could enjoy. It sounds and looks like a very good book.
LMAOOOOO....those are his true expressions when performing FELLATIO!!!!!
That girl behind him didn't know how to use chopsticks. Cute :`)
He’s a “ CEO- TYPE” @ a “ large Business Firm” lol lol
My favorite THE NANNY episode: Fran eating Wasabi!
Midmorning felatio. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love Maya's face 🤣 Reminds me of what one of Kristen Wiig's characters says "That's America...it's a problem". In fact, in my opinion, it can be a problem in places that are inhabited by people who think "You know what, I am more sophisticated than you are".
The first time I ate sea urchin, I almost threw up. The 2nd time, my body recognized that since I wasn't poisoned the 1st time, sea urchcin actually tasted good, really good!
Eeavening - I'm with you. Uni is now one of my favorite foods (poor uni!). I would NEVER spit it out across the room!
@@MossyMozart I love it. The creaminess. It’s like a smooth custard.
It’s Patrick Bateman at sushi 🍣
I love how Maya can play any character.
Oh Rudolph with your smile so bright,
Won’t you carve some fish tonight?
Love You Girl!
This is just great and different, I love this skit.
I’d love to see that waitress’s reaction to the kids from JPOP America FunTime Now ordering sushi 😂
Maya Rudolph looks like the landlady from Kung Fu Hustle
Love this sketch
"Amma Ah-aye-bee"
I'm dead 😂
I actually love everything he ordered lmao
Oh my Matt is a perfect Romney
It's really funny how he avoided eating any of it. 🤣🤣
Her facial expressions are fabulous!
Maya Rudolph! so funnny! :)
This is hilarious. “That’s why I paid someone to write this book” …”With my book…”
Even as a japanese high-school student, this is veryveryvery funny!!!
I took one look at Maya Rudolph in the thumbnail and I laughed OMG HAHAHAHAHA