Dude, you have a gift for metaphor, which allows a much faster understanding of things than many can appreciate. Thanks for sharing it. The timing of this video couldn't have been more pertinent for me. For months I've felt like I've been wrestling with a damn demon in my head trying to break the emotional flashback cycle. Now understanding this, or the superego, is in fact a simple, stupid recording instead of some much more nefarious entity designed to beat the ever living shit out of me non stop... well, at least for me, you just managed to connect a half dozen things that suddenly managed to clarify so much shit I've been studying for so long now and couldn't piece together correctly. Your explanations are some of the best Richard. Any head shrink that would poo poo your descriptions has surely never experienced the things we have. Wish I could upvote this video a hundred times. Thanks again man. Oh.... I would say that this mechanism/reflex is not just activated by intimacy, it's also activated by basically anything that can come anywhere close to the personalities, actions and words of the parents that pulled the decades long mind fucks. Memory recall, activates superego and stupid mind fuck recordings. Which I now grasp in a way I couldn't seem to for months upon months. Wow... I suddenly don't feel so drained.
ZaphodsPlanet, You’re right that it’s not just activated by intimacy, but as Richard said, vulnerability and power too. I was just massively traumatized by a con artist real estate agent/contractor who gained my trust when I was in a vulnerable state, and he manipulated and deceived me in multiple transactions to my extreme detriment and his gain of course. Then I have been further traumatized by the collusion and corruption of the government regulatory agencies that are supposed to punish him and protect me but have done the opposite. Exactly the kinds of things you’re referring to, I think. So true. We have to protect ourselves from these narcissists and psychopaths (individuals, groups and systems as Richard often speaks of) that will seek to exploit our vulnerability in any area of our lives. Thank you for adding that.
Activation come as well from drinking and eating and hypnosis. I created a "survival bag" for myself. "Coffee suchet, tea sachet, (always make your own... no matter with whom or where you are), lollipop if I want to tizz someone, lollies called "Bulet"... if someone is bothering me I offer them one, bottle of water, mirror." You need as well your motto... All the world is filed for cooperation... or I am not in competition with anyone... or What I say is under my understanding, What I do is under my wisdom So no one is allowed to judge me... Take care... Be present and watchful. And wear only your shoes...
This is in layman speak and talks about the things people said to me when growing up, so when my dad kept trying to give me away, it was recorded as I was worthless, he started with I am going to flush you down the loo or I will put you in the trash can. It is probably why at age 53 it was important to me that he listened to my poetry presentation and said wow that was good you need to share it it was validation after all the years of negative talk. I now need to overwrite the message from the doctor who said I wasn't worth saving. 🤔 🥺 I think this is a key piece to regaining control of the voice that tells me I am crap. Well done, I also think that with that voice comes the feeling in the body which is the emotional flashback and much stronger than just words. Using Richards courses I have pretty much stopped the voice and the feelings and I just get a "what are you talking about" voice instead. Thanks Rich, you are a god send 💜👍🏾🙏
@Chief Seattle it started as a game, then my mum left and I read it as he was going to leave me too, then it became a threat if I didn't behave, it lasted until I was 18 and left home. There is more than that but I don't have the energy to spare telling it. 🤔😒
@Chief Seattle You are a beautiful powerful soul. Your father wanted your power, because he had none. Remember that you are the Power and the Glory of Creation. And those that tell you different, have not acknoledged their Power and Soveriegnty. When people are mean to you, remember, it is because you ARE the light. Remember..........
Chief Seattle : A repetitive commentary directed at a child who has no way to process joking around , metaphors, etc . etc . Is a form of psychological abuse & interference with the child’s ability to develop a stable sense of self.. These comments will inform the child he has no value or worth, & therefore train them to self sabotage out of obedience to the parent ( or parental figure ) ..
@Chief Seattle have got any anxiety and depression? Yes, I have been a gibbering mess for most of my life, I did angry early on, I did defensive early on, I was bullied and had no support, I was then submerged into a family where I didn't fit in when he married again. I have been suicidal since 11 years old. Then I ended up marrying and let's say that was abusive too, he knew which buttons to push. Somehow the angry keeps me going, "don't tell me who you think I am!" the anxiety is because I don't know who to trust. I am choosing to just be. It gives me time to assess people, it also calms others down and they aren't as scary as I thought they were. I have reduced the people pleasing, stay calm and just be. I have been out of the mess for only 6 years and have made progress the past 2 years. I watched mooji who helped me lose my story and found Richard who gives practical advice on how to stop the negative recordings from all my tormentors. I was absolutely on the edge doing myself harm or exploding, I was jumpy, over vidulent, paranoid, then I found mooji, I was ready to sit with poison frogs on my head wearing a talisman made only by a small tribe in the amazon who I had to hunt down and befriend, to make myself better. Richard talks about giving yourself space between the thoughts. Letting go of the ego story let me find calm, it might not work for you at first, it may take a while to master it, finding that space between thoughts really helps to then do the exercises to work on emotions and flashbacks 💜 I was on high alert for so many years I did not think it could stop. It can, don't give up 💜 please don't give up 🙏💜
I found Richards channel for 1 year ago. Now, I feel like I have healed. Thank you Richard. Without your information and exercises I don't think that I would have ever healed. Or maybe I would but it would take like 10 more years. I just would have been lost. I tried to heal my condition for 5 years prior to finding your channel and never had any sucsess. But your methods actually did work and more importantly because of your content I finally understood what was going on with me. I also have to say that your rather "spartan" approach, the fact that you do not focus too much on consepts such as "forgiveness" "being a better person" "high road" "low vibrations" and so on, really made me trust you more. I always believed in fighting for your life, fighting for your happiness and so on, so it was important for me to find someone who is not "too kind". Thank you again.
I feel like this saved my life today- this coming from a person who has actively done “work” and standard therapy for, embarrassed to say- nearly 20 years! This felt like instant healing with the aha moments. Your analogies rock as do your teaching skills. Thank you for doing this.
@@Infinite_Avenger dude that's literally what he said, and I bet the program he was talking about doesn't "erase" these thoughts, it most likely helps people learn how to manage them, just like people learn to manage instead of erase problems from their lives. One example that comes to mind is addiction. People who had an addiction could relapse anytime, but they learn to manage their feelings through therapy
Samantha de Regules I do not necessarily agree with this. Look at what high dose Psilocybin does to addicts. ”Some” (yes, this is the operative word) people are literally cured of their addiction overnight. It has literally reprogrammed their brain. All it's doing is defragging the corrupted sectors. But you have to ’will’ it in to being. Psychedelics are the anti-virus and our will Is the Source-Code. One can do it with meditation and other means as well. Try listening to some of your favorite energetic music (like your favorite work out tunes) and imagine yourself defeating whatever ”enemy” (trauma) is causing you harm in the present. It will be hard, but remember, you are the one kicking some ass this time. Don't worry about feeling bad, because you're a people pleaser, or whatnot. We were the prey and one must fight to SURVIVE! Keep doing this until nothing else comes up. It's like a ”vaccine” (stay with me here) of sorts for the mind. How does a vaccine work? It exposes your body (mind in this case) to the ”enemy”, so that it can learn to fight and defeat the enemy/trauma. I did this when I was younger, but fell off the wagon and slipped in to self-sabotage. negative self talk, and inevitably suicidal ideation. But, now I am whole again, at least for a little while. It is a never-ending fight. It is YOUR brain. Do with it what you WILL!
As always, intensely insightful and just in time for me to be sure that I am taking the right steps to protect myself. My super ego isn't so much a negative chatter box but more like an emotionally disabling wrecking ball- I am looking forward to your video on this topic . With gratitude ;)
I learned something here that I was not aware of - if I tell my personal stories to someone, I’ll feel intimate with them ? Very good to know.. I recall feeling receptive to people I’ve told my personal stories to - and interpreted it as - feeling romantic towards the person .. I also feel attracted to people who tell me their personal stories .. I was not aware of this operating feature ..I also understand why I feel violated when people tell me their personal stuff ~ and we just met, etc. ~ Best Wishes w. your book !
You are so relatable. Your insight has truly resonated with me. What I think sets you apart from the typical therapist, one of many things but a big one, is that you talk with your audience, not at them. I have an aversion to therapists for legitimate reasons I won't go in to, and have had to seek out therapy in non-traditional ways. You are one of my non-traditional ways that has been highly effective. I so very much appreciate what you do. Thank-you.
Don't mean to sound melodramatic but i wish i met you one day so that i can thank you in person Richard, you are a treasure. The depth of your knowledge combined with your heart make the world of difference to a lot of us. Thank you ♥️
I loved the "other people" part and recording metaphor. It's easier to understand it this way. Loved the way you explained it and the idea that the super ego is not capable of making judgement about the now. Very insightful! I appreciate you Richard!
So I understand now that the teacher who injured me when I was 10 as a pupil on the National Ballet Academy in Amsterdam who scared me and physically and mentally punished me for having pain in my knee had all that influence over my adult life, because I have good parents. Richard, because of your explanation I understand myself. Thanks again! You add a lot of value.
Richard yet again you say things I've never heard put together in my life. This is with years of therapy, support groups and reading. Your work; sir; is a gift to your tribe. Thank you.
Thank you for putting the superego and injunctions in relatable words. As a child when I was told (yelled at) to do something or not to do something, I would ask why. I was always told "because I said so". So much for building a foundation of decision making for my survival in adulthood.
@@kimwarburton8490 I'm 50 and didn't make the association that my lack of confidence in my decision making abilities could be a partial result of these responses till I started waking to this type of abuse recently. Time for some Grannon workshops!!
@@jeepingypsy3482 iv been binging these vids last few days Doin hand mnemonic n emo mind mapping 5x daily. Im doin more good things Better memory recall. Yesterday i remembered mid meal i shld b taking suppliments cos im eating keto n hav mecfs xD I spent the whole time verbally out loud praising myself, cos i remembered 🖒 So far his stuff, his approach, his knowledge, his humour, bluntness etc have been the delivery iv needed. 80-90% of what he says isnt new to me. I did a hypnotherapy diploma ten yrs ago. But its the WAY he says it, gets under the skin n im doing The Things 🖒 Like you iv noticed a difficulty with deciscion making. I figured last spring via cbt therapy that im both over analysing and waiting for perfection. Just knowing that helped last few mnths 🖒
I deeply appreciate the way you explained this. It explained a lot about myself & a family member who desperately needs your super-ego course. Again, thank you.
Thank you for this video. I just fully realized now that the things that make me fawn and freeze the most in intimate relationships, are the things that my superego is sending me injunctions about the most. Wow.
I love the way you explain things Richard. It's very down to earth and the metaphors make it click straight away. The description of super ego is excellent ! x
Thank you for such an understandable explanation of super ego. I finally feel that I have grasped the idea and how it screws us. Richard you are helping me more than you'll ever know. From the bottom of my heart, thanks for all of your work. May you be blessed with all the love in the universe.
Thak you Richard. I’ve been exploring much of the NPD content on TH-cam and have found your videos to be most helpful. I’m one week into leaving a ‘narc’ and this video shed light not only on that relationship but my early years as well. Thank you X 1000!
Purchased the course , just wanted to say thank you. One week into the material and I highly recommend this To anyone who has suffered from narcissistic abuse.
I am not even quite halfway through but I do have to express! This content starting at a few minutes in, is absolutely delish!! Oh I know I'm gushing, but it's absolutely fantastic!!
Wow...you literaly made this topic SO easy to understand! I bought the course near the start of the year (it IS very good but i hit a very rough patch and decided for the health of my children to revisit it at a later time) and before I watched this I thought I knew all about the superego and how it acted but this video has literaly blown my mind.... I can literaly see how it effects me and my life... you're extremely good at explaining things so people can understand...THANKYOU!
Thank You!🥰 Excellent video Richard. Love how you teach in such a way that I can understand and relate. You are truly gifted. Have a very Merry Christmas!
This was amazing! One of the best videos I’ve watched! Really breaks down and helps you understand things. I think this would be a good video for anyone to watch not just people recovering from narcissistic abuse. Thank you 🙏🏼
So interesting - really made me think. First thought - “dear god, I bet I’ve watched way more than 100 hours of his content” and second...I don’t know if I’m out of touch or not as progressed as I thought but I don’t feel like I “hear” the superego giving me direction etc. I know it’s there and it’s toxic bc I generally feel never enough, bad, wrong, worthless etc. And I remember my mom saying as much most of the time...but I don’t feel like I hear those messages now. It’s weird. I feel it - I don’t hear it, it’s definitely there tho. 🤷🏻♀️ Regardless, another great video!
Amazing video, Richard. Such a great explanation to understand how ee can see things differently and re-wire any outdated, self-limiting, unintelligent data. I totally get this. I love "the other people part!" 🙏Thank you for your work here. You help enlighten me and so many here to know we have greater control of our lives (ridding of the dark clouds!). Yes!
This was very interesting! Thank you for so patiently explaining these concepts. You are a great teacher. This one gave me so much understanding about why I feel such close connections to people who I have shared myself with like a doctor and healers and therapists and spiritual leaders. I appreciate you sharing your personal stories because it really helps me to remember and understand these important concepts. I’m truly grateful for your work! It is helping me immensely! Eternal Peace Love and Joy to you my brother Richard! You are truly a life saver! 🌈💜💚🦋🌼😍☀️🌛✨🐋🐬🦄🌎🌻🌺
Your video saved me , My inner critic is so loud and nasty especially theses days .. I thought I healed this problem, turned out its still there .. thank you so much , I’m glad I found your channel. You’re insights are new to me and I’m learning more🙏💕
Video was recommended... SOOOO happy it was! I'll be forwarding this to friends. And definitely have an alert so when your book comes out, I buy it :-)
This is exactly the perspective and insight I needed to really understand the work on this particular aspect of C-PTSD recovery! I am so grateful for your videos and ideas on these topics
So much clearance again. Just as in your recent tips for the people pleasers. Now i know who's "talking" at some moments. Had some ideas but no one else ever came with this kind of explanations. Thank you Richard 🙂
Thanks for this! I’m super-excited to hear your ideas about the super-ego and emotional flashbacks. I think I learned to repress those negative thoughts with maybe some internal toxic positivity, and perhaps some of my emotional flashbacks are super-ego messages redirected to feelings because I consciously shut down even the start of the thought. Love your videos; thanks for doing this!
NIN!! You made me smile at that reference!! Thank you so much for this information. I need to heal my codependency and this work seems so much harder than leaving my NPD ex husband. But I'm sticking with it and you.
Thank you Richard! I took few weeks off from my self help work , (got upset with almost everything), got very depressed very fast , you’re explanation in this video it’s very helpful, amazing you Richard please know you help people immensely!!!
This is brilliant - thank you! I'm almost 4 months past moving out from my narcisstic girlfrien and over 2 years in therapy which I started after being crushed by the the first narc. This video nicely systemizes what I have come to understand by discovering and naming PIECES. Now the pieces are in place! What's more this confirms my own intuitive insights. I feel like I just made a huge jump ahead.
Fantastic information. I've been using tools you have provided in my day to day and I have to say, wow. I look at my fist to ward off the broken recordings via socratic method with my inner dialogue. Helps me to relax and regroup in real time as I question the inner critic into an oblivion. Quality of life 1, Inner Critic 0. Keep it going!
Very informative video. I like your style of teaching. Will sign up for your courses. I have to listen to this video again and get my notebook. Every video I've watched is taking me closer and closer to freeing "authentic me". Looking forward to getting to know her.
Richard this is excellent content! I have been working hard for years on healing, forgiving and reprogramming the old tapes. Some days I'm doing great and other days it feels like it's never going away. At 66, I've given up on dating or even having the desire for one more toxic relationship... I DON'T TRUST MYSELF! It seems that We all have been damaged in some form... it's ugly, disturbing and unrelenting... I'm having a difficult day today😝
Hi! I appreciate your content. I saw you in dream state preparing for a lecture and we had a chat. I thought it was pretty awesome to see you. 😁... it’s been a while since I caught up with your content so I thought maybe I needed to check out your channel again. So glad I did. I always learn so much from what you teach. Thank you 🙏🏼
Wonderful video! I love the way you can bring down the almighty and illusive psych info to the lowest common denominator so that we can all understand and learn. It's a gift! Thank you.
For me it gets reactivated by toxic shame, the original shame core senses the fakery and knows the berries from the abusive bosses and thinks that will be enough to do life. But in teenage and adulthood it gets reactivated by the false intimacy of toxic shame and results in the original enmeshment happening over and over. I love that it is not creative but automatic, that helps a lot. I would definitely do this course. Thanks this video was so beautiful
the way you break down to us concepts hard to understand makes your videos invaluable Keep up the good work cause it is much needed in these times of the prevalence of the "disordered" Cheers mate
Brilliantly done with metaphors that will help to recognize the stupid other people part and disarm it in real time. Everything you said about intimacy and vulnerability being where the most damage can be done is so true. Doing a spin through my history confirms that. Fortunately I choose good counselors and pastors, unfortunately I mostly chose narcissistic partners, and well, since we didn’t get to choose our parents, those last two are where all the damaging injunctions have come from, nearly 40 years worth altogether. Yikes in that context. Grateful it’s not all four areas, lol. Really well done on this one, Richard, thank you. The way your mind works and your communication style are perfect to impart this wisdom and knowledge uniquely and very effectively. God’s gift to CPTSR codependents. 🥰👊👍🦄💜
I'm experiencing this right now and I totally agree with you about this part of us actually inducing flashbacks. I'm physically seized up and my brain is bombarding me with every sensation and smell of every person who even looked at me slightly mean. It's message is, don't be yourself, don't take up space, your unlovable if you be you, your unsafe and will be attacked again. Go back into your hole and play dead and then you'll be safe again. The problem is I have a ton of stuff to do today and can't just tell ppl why I'm incapacitated like this. The only thing I can find puts some space between me and it is mediation. Even if I go to a bathroom somewhere when it kicks in and spend a few minutes meditating.
From 16:25.... Part of one of my own speculations regarding "baby talk". I think "baby talk" is adorable (after all, it's usually evidence of the learning of the present language), but when adults wield "baby talk" as a form of communication with the child, I believe it has a long-lasting negative recall. I was blessed (blessed meaning: the intellectual researcher was so close to live data... 😁) in that my parents had completely opposite thinking styles. My mother was way more flowery prolific and creative, but constantly acted as if anything that my dad produced was boring, dry and just desert sand of the mind. This was terribly, terribly confusing to me because I thought more like my dad than I ever thought like my mother. In fact I felt like a complete stranger to this person who had birthed me. So it impacted me that she detested the very things that made my father what I identifed with, and I listened to her responses, and kind of actually assumed that she spoke for the rest of the world. She was a representative of everyone else and my father was odd.... therefore, I was odd, right? (PS, when I got older I asked my dad why he stuck around when he could have possibly found happiness if he would have left.... his response was highly logical, yet I completely understood it. He said he didn't want to leave us kids in an unbalanced situation. So his presence, was a 'balance' to her extreme projection) I liken it to the story, The Emperor's New clothes.
Anyone ever heard this?
"I'm in Therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in Therapy". 💕
Yes thats exactly it too
I'd wear the T shirt!
Oh my God, YESSSS
@Inkedtraumabondgurl 27
I thought so too!😂
@@jessicadora7213
Me too!! 😁
Richard Grannon will never know who I am, but his videos have saved my life.
so glad to have you here with us xxx
How do you know he wont know who you are?
The dude's consciousness just keeps rising and rising, thank you for the ride these past 4 months
I got to know him 4 months ago too and the lectures with Sam Vaknin were so important to me, the harsh and honest truth
“Stay with me” this video may be difficult to hear” Thankyou Richard for your service!
Your content is so evolved and challenging in the best ways possible. Really appreciate your videos!
Dude, you have a gift for metaphor, which allows a much faster understanding of things than many can appreciate. Thanks for sharing it. The timing of this video couldn't have been more pertinent for me. For months I've felt like I've been wrestling with a damn demon in my head trying to break the emotional flashback cycle. Now understanding this, or the superego, is in fact a simple, stupid recording instead of some much more nefarious entity designed to beat the ever living shit out of me non stop... well, at least for me, you just managed to connect a half dozen things that suddenly managed to clarify so much shit I've been studying for so long now and couldn't piece together correctly. Your explanations are some of the best Richard. Any head shrink that would poo poo your descriptions has surely never experienced the things we have. Wish I could upvote this video a hundred times. Thanks again man. Oh.... I would say that this mechanism/reflex is not just activated by intimacy, it's also activated by basically anything that can come anywhere close to the personalities, actions and words of the parents that pulled the decades long mind fucks. Memory recall, activates superego and stupid mind fuck recordings. Which I now grasp in a way I couldn't seem to for months upon months. Wow... I suddenly don't feel so drained.
ZaphodsPlanet, You’re right that it’s not just activated by intimacy, but as Richard said, vulnerability and power too. I was just massively traumatized by a con artist real estate agent/contractor who gained my trust when I was in a vulnerable state, and he manipulated and deceived me in multiple transactions to my extreme detriment and his gain of course. Then I have been further traumatized by the collusion and corruption of the government regulatory agencies that are supposed to punish him and protect me but have done the opposite. Exactly the kinds of things you’re referring to, I think. So true. We have to protect ourselves from these narcissists and psychopaths (individuals, groups and systems as Richard often speaks of) that will seek to exploit our vulnerability in any area of our lives. Thank you for adding that.
Activation come as well from drinking and eating and hypnosis.
I created a "survival bag" for myself.
"Coffee suchet, tea sachet, (always make your own... no matter with whom or where you are), lollipop if I want to tizz someone, lollies called "Bulet"... if someone is bothering me I offer them one, bottle of water, mirror."
You need as well your motto...
All the world is filed for cooperation... or
I am not in competition with anyone... or
What I say is under my understanding,
What I do is under my wisdom
So no one is allowed to judge me...
Take care...
Be present and watchful.
And wear only your shoes...
This is in layman speak and talks about the things people said to me when growing up, so when my dad kept trying to give me away, it was recorded as I was worthless, he started with I am going to flush you down the loo or I will put you in the trash can. It is probably why at age 53 it was important to me that he listened to my poetry presentation and said wow that was good you need to share it it was validation after all the years of negative talk.
I now need to overwrite the message from the doctor who said I wasn't worth saving. 🤔 🥺 I think this is a key piece to regaining control of the voice that tells me I am crap. Well done, I also think that with that voice comes the feeling in the body which is the emotional flashback and much stronger than just words. Using Richards courses I have pretty much stopped the voice and the feelings and I just get a "what are you talking about" voice instead. Thanks Rich, you are a god send 💜👍🏾🙏
@Chief Seattle it started as a game, then my mum left and I read it as he was going to leave me too, then it became a threat if I didn't behave, it lasted until I was 18 and left home. There is more than that but I don't have the energy to spare telling it. 🤔😒
@Chief Seattle You are a beautiful powerful soul. Your father wanted your power, because he had none. Remember that you are the Power and the Glory of Creation. And those that tell you different, have not acknoledged their Power and Soveriegnty. When people are mean to you, remember, it is because you ARE the light. Remember..........
Chief Seattle : A repetitive commentary directed at a child who has no way to process joking around , metaphors, etc . etc . Is a form of psychological abuse & interference with the child’s ability to develop a stable sense of self.. These comments will inform the child he has no value or worth, & therefore train them to self sabotage out of obedience to the parent ( or parental figure ) ..
Ariadne Afaganis ~...really well said.
@Chief Seattle have got any anxiety and depression? Yes, I have been a gibbering mess for most of my life, I did angry early on, I did defensive early on, I was bullied and had no support, I was then submerged into a family where I didn't fit in when he married again. I have been suicidal since 11 years old. Then I ended up marrying and let's say that was abusive too, he knew which buttons to push. Somehow the angry keeps me going, "don't tell me who you think I am!" the anxiety is because I don't know who to trust. I am choosing to just be. It gives me time to assess people, it also calms others down and they aren't as scary as I thought they were. I have reduced the people pleasing, stay calm and just be. I have been out of the mess for only 6 years and have made progress the past 2 years. I watched mooji who helped me lose my story and found Richard who gives practical advice on how to stop the negative recordings from all my tormentors.
I was absolutely on the edge doing myself harm or exploding, I was jumpy, over vidulent, paranoid, then I found mooji, I was ready to sit with poison frogs on my head wearing a talisman made only by a small tribe in the amazon who I had to hunt down and befriend, to make myself better. Richard talks about giving yourself space between the thoughts. Letting go of the ego story let me find calm, it might not work for you at first, it may take a while to master it, finding that space between thoughts really helps to then do the exercises to work on emotions and flashbacks 💜 I was on high alert for so many years I did not think it could stop. It can, don't give up 💜 please don't give up 🙏💜
I found Richards channel for 1 year ago. Now, I feel like I have healed. Thank you Richard. Without your information and exercises I don't think that I would have ever healed. Or maybe I would but it would take like 10 more years. I just would have been lost. I tried to heal my condition for 5 years prior to finding your channel and never had any sucsess. But your methods actually did work and more importantly because of your content I finally understood what was going on with me. I also have to say that your rather "spartan" approach, the fact that you do not focus too much on consepts such as "forgiveness" "being a better person" "high road" "low vibrations" and so on, really made me trust you more. I always believed in fighting for your life, fighting for your happiness and so on, so it was important for me to find someone who is not "too kind". Thank you again.
Rich is the man! I love his content, people like him is what has inspired me to start my own channel of helping others! Cheers Rich 👍
Spot on.
He's inspired me to become a counsellor & eventually have a TH-cam channel to help people too :)
I feel like this saved my life today- this coming from a person who has actively done “work” and standard therapy for, embarrassed to say- nearly 20 years! This felt like instant healing with the aha moments. Your analogies rock as do your teaching skills. Thank you for doing this.
lindasia777 awesome what’s your channel I’ll check you out!
nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice I agree indeed
I appreciate the computer references. Time to reformat the hard drive; wipe the slate clean.
But he said it can't be erased... the analogy ends there lol
Samantha de Regules Sounds like the Inner Critic speaking 😁
@@Infinite_Avenger dude that's literally what he said, and I bet the program he was talking about doesn't "erase" these thoughts, it most likely helps people learn how to manage them, just like people learn to manage instead of erase problems from their lives. One example that comes to mind is addiction. People who had an addiction could relapse anytime, but they learn to manage their feelings through therapy
actually it's EPROM. You just have to live with that.
Samantha de Regules I do not necessarily agree with this.
Look at what high dose Psilocybin does to addicts. ”Some” (yes, this is the operative word) people are literally cured of their addiction overnight. It has literally reprogrammed their brain. All it's doing is defragging the corrupted sectors. But you have to ’will’ it in to being. Psychedelics are the anti-virus and our will Is the Source-Code.
One can do it with meditation and other means as well. Try listening to some of your favorite energetic music (like your favorite work out tunes) and imagine yourself defeating whatever ”enemy” (trauma) is causing you harm in the present. It will be hard, but remember, you are the one kicking some ass this time. Don't worry about feeling bad, because you're a people pleaser, or whatnot. We were the prey and one must fight to SURVIVE! Keep doing this until nothing else comes up. It's like a ”vaccine” (stay with me here) of sorts for the mind. How does a vaccine work? It exposes your body (mind in this case) to the ”enemy”, so that it can learn to fight and defeat the enemy/trauma.
I did this when I was younger, but fell off the wagon and slipped in to self-sabotage. negative self talk, and inevitably suicidal ideation. But, now I am whole again, at least for a little while. It is a never-ending fight.
It is YOUR brain. Do with it what you WILL!
As always, intensely insightful and just in time for me to be sure that I am taking the right steps to protect myself.
My super ego isn't so much a negative chatter box but more like an emotionally disabling wrecking ball- I am looking forward to your video on this topic . With gratitude ;)
This video is a great supplement to the 30 Day Challenge course that I am taking now. The course is exceptional.
I learned something here that I was not aware of - if I tell my personal stories to someone, I’ll feel intimate with them ? Very good to know.. I recall feeling receptive to people I’ve told my personal stories to - and interpreted it as - feeling romantic towards the person .. I also feel attracted to people who tell me their personal stories .. I was not aware of this operating feature ..I also understand why I feel violated when people tell me their personal stuff ~ and we just met, etc. ~ Best Wishes w. your book !
Thankyou for your clarity with words
I was almost there
Thankies 🖒
@@kimwarburton8490 Noooo , she is attracted to you now
Thanks Richard ! I took your superego course about 2 years ago! This is a great refresher.
You are so relatable. Your insight has truly resonated with me. What I think sets you apart from the typical therapist, one of many things but a big one, is that you talk with your audience, not at them. I have an aversion to therapists for legitimate reasons I won't go in to, and have had to seek out therapy in non-traditional ways. You are one of my non-traditional ways that has been highly effective. I so very much appreciate what you do. Thank-you.
Try stacy hoch "empoweress". Look her up similar in the non-traditional therapy style.. she's on TH-cam too. Tons of information. Love these people.
Don't mean to sound melodramatic but i wish i met you one day so that i can thank you in person Richard, you are a treasure. The depth of your knowledge combined with your heart make the world of difference to a lot of us. Thank you ♥️
I loved the "other people" part and recording metaphor. It's easier to understand it this way. Loved the way you explained it and the idea that the super ego is not capable of making judgement about the now. Very insightful! I appreciate you Richard!
I have the course. I listened to Richard every night after surgery. It helped ease my physical pain never mind emotional.😉
So I understand now that the teacher who injured me when I was 10 as a pupil on the National Ballet Academy in Amsterdam who scared me and physically and mentally punished me for having pain in my knee had all that influence over my adult life, because I have good parents. Richard, because of your explanation I understand myself. Thanks again! You add a lot of value.
This is really going to help us understand when you talk about rewriting the unconscious rules, thank you Richard! 💙
Richard yet again you say things I've never heard put together in my life. This is with years of therapy, support groups and reading. Your work; sir; is a gift to your tribe. Thank you.
This is extremely helpful. Such a high quality of information! Thank you so much for putting it out there. You literally are a life saver.
Thank you for putting the superego and injunctions in relatable words. As a child when I was told (yelled at) to do something or not to do something, I would ask why. I was always told "because I said so". So much for building a foundation of decision making for my survival in adulthood.
I got that too but ive nvr picked up on why its wrong n its felt normal till ur post
@@kimwarburton8490 I'm 50 and didn't make the association that my lack of confidence in my decision making abilities could be a partial result of these responses till I started waking to this type of abuse recently. Time for some Grannon workshops!!
@@jeepingypsy3482 iv been binging these vids last few days
Doin hand mnemonic n emo mind mapping 5x daily. Im doin more good things
Better memory recall. Yesterday i remembered mid meal i shld b taking suppliments cos im eating keto n hav mecfs xD
I spent the whole time verbally out loud praising myself, cos i remembered 🖒
So far his stuff, his approach, his knowledge, his humour, bluntness etc have been the delivery iv needed.
80-90% of what he says isnt new to me. I did a hypnotherapy diploma ten yrs ago. But its the WAY he says it, gets under the skin n im doing The Things 🖒
Like you iv noticed a difficulty with deciscion making. I figured last spring via cbt therapy that im both over analysing and waiting for perfection. Just knowing that helped last few mnths 🖒
I deeply appreciate the way you explained this. It explained a lot about myself & a family member who desperately needs your super-ego course. Again, thank you.
Finishing up week 4 of the the super ego course now... HOLY SHIT! its amazing. Thanks mate!
Thank you for this video. I just fully realized now that the things that make me fawn and freeze the most in intimate relationships, are the things that my superego is sending me injunctions about the most. Wow.
OMG Richard your style of explaining and willingness to open about your own struggles is amazing and educational thanks much
I love the way you explain things Richard. It's very down to earth and the metaphors make it click straight away.
The description of super ego is excellent ! x
I am so grateful for your content! I don't think i can express the RELIEF your information provides!
One of the most powerful of ur videos for me to date...it just clicked! TY
Thank you Right on time for me. The world wouldn't be the same without you. Your videos have changed my life. Sending you love and light.
Thank you for such an understandable explanation of super ego. I finally feel that I have grasped the idea and how it screws us. Richard you are helping me more than you'll ever know. From the bottom of my heart, thanks for all of your work. May you be blessed with all the love in the universe.
Thak you Richard. I’ve been exploring much of the NPD content on TH-cam and have found your videos to be most helpful. I’m one week into leaving a ‘narc’ and this video shed light not only on that relationship but my early years as well.
Thank you X 1000!
Purchased the course , just wanted to say thank you. One week into the material and I highly recommend this
To anyone who has suffered from narcissistic abuse.
Richard, THANK YOU! You’ve no idea how much this just helped me put the pieces together! 🙃😊
I needed this today and yes I hear that toxic programming as feelings. Right on Richard!
This was magnificent! Spoke directly to me!!!
I am not even quite halfway through but I do have to express! This content starting at a few minutes in, is absolutely delish!! Oh I know I'm gushing, but it's absolutely fantastic!!
Wow...you literaly made this topic SO easy to understand! I bought the course near the start of the year (it IS very good but i hit a very rough patch and decided for the health of my children to revisit it at a later time) and before I watched this I thought I knew all about the superego and how it acted but this video has literaly blown my mind.... I can literaly see how it effects me and my life... you're extremely good at explaining things so people can understand...THANKYOU!
Thank You!🥰
Excellent video Richard. Love how you teach in such a way that I can understand and relate. You are truly gifted. Have a very Merry Christmas!
Tyfornot swearing .I allow my children to listen and learn to your God given brilliance ..
This was amazing! One of the best videos I’ve watched! Really breaks down and helps you understand things. I think this would be a good video for anyone to watch not just people recovering from narcissistic abuse. Thank you 🙏🏼
So interesting - really made me think. First thought - “dear god, I bet I’ve watched way more than 100 hours of his content” and second...I don’t know if I’m out of touch or not as progressed as I thought but I don’t feel like I “hear” the superego giving me direction etc. I know it’s there and it’s toxic bc I generally feel never enough, bad, wrong, worthless etc. And I remember my mom saying as much most of the time...but I don’t feel like I hear those messages now. It’s weird. I feel it - I don’t hear it, it’s definitely there tho. 🤷🏻♀️ Regardless, another great video!
This guy gets me.
He knows of my struggle over the last 3 yrs. Many thanks. 🙂
Amazing video, Richard. Such a great explanation to understand how ee can see things differently and re-wire any outdated, self-limiting, unintelligent data. I totally get this. I love "the other people part!" 🙏Thank you for your work here. You help enlighten me and so many here to know we have greater control of our lives (ridding of the dark clouds!). Yes!
I like your analytical mind. What you say goes to the core of the issue, very helpful and appreciated.
Thank you, Richard! God bless you for sharing and your guidance as we all try to understand, move forward with wisdom and heal! And we will! 😊🙏🏻
Can’t wait to check out the course! Thanks again Richard for another enlightening video! 🍃💞🍃
Lifesaving information. Thanks so much for all that you do for humanity. It gives me hope the healing is possible.
This was very interesting! Thank you for so patiently explaining these concepts. You are a great teacher. This one gave me so much understanding about why I feel such close connections to people who I have shared myself with like a doctor and healers and therapists and spiritual leaders. I appreciate you sharing your personal stories because it really helps me to remember and understand these important concepts. I’m truly grateful for your work! It is helping me immensely! Eternal Peace Love and Joy to you my brother Richard! You are truly a life saver! 🌈💜💚🦋🌼😍☀️🌛✨🐋🐬🦄🌎🌻🌺
Your video saved me , My inner critic is so loud and nasty especially theses days .. I thought I healed this problem, turned out its still there .. thank you so much , I’m glad I found your channel. You’re insights are new to me and I’m learning more🙏💕
Richard, thank you for helping me understand & move forward from toxic soul tie! God bless U & pray 4 U too🎯🛐🕊
Video was recommended... SOOOO happy it was! I'll be forwarding this to friends. And definitely have an alert so when your book comes out, I buy it :-)
This is amazing! Thank you really enjoyed listening 😀
So so good Richard! Top 10 material right there 👍
Extremely helpful, thank you. I appreciate your very real approach and examples.
Excellent video, so informative! Thanks for posting this Richard.
This is exactly the perspective and insight I needed to really understand the work on this particular aspect of C-PTSD recovery! I am so grateful for your videos and ideas on these topics
You are hilarious 🤣. I admire your delivery; I get it!!! So glad you are here!
Thanks Richard, you are extremely good @ breaking down the information in the simplest form for people to understand.😁
So much clearance again. Just as in your recent tips for the people pleasers. Now i know who's "talking" at some moments. Had some ideas but no one else ever came with this kind of explanations. Thank you Richard 🙂
Thanks for this! I’m super-excited to hear your ideas about the super-ego and emotional flashbacks. I think I learned to repress those negative thoughts with maybe some internal toxic positivity, and perhaps some of my emotional flashbacks are super-ego messages redirected to feelings because I consciously shut down even the start of the thought. Love your videos; thanks for doing this!
I love this guy so much. What a boss... That is all.
I really needed this. Right this week. Thank you
So much taken from this . Thank you so much.
Very well done video! This was very helpful, thank you! Looking forward to the next one!
Thanks Richard. Appreciate the videos. Speaks to me.
NIN!! You made me smile at that reference!! Thank you so much for this information. I need to heal my codependency and this work seems so much harder than leaving my NPD ex husband. But I'm sticking with it and you.
An eye opener. Subscribed to your channel. Thanks
Thank you for putting it on simple terms, great video.
Thank you Richard! I took few weeks off from my self help work , (got upset with almost everything), got very depressed very fast , you’re explanation in this video it’s very helpful, amazing you Richard please know you help people immensely!!!
This is brilliant - thank you! I'm almost 4 months past moving out from my narcisstic girlfrien and over 2 years in therapy which I started after being crushed by the the first narc. This video nicely systemizes what I have come to understand by discovering and naming PIECES. Now the pieces are in place! What's more this confirms my own intuitive insights. I feel like I just made a huge jump ahead.
Fantastic information. I've been using tools you have provided in my day to day and I have to say, wow. I look at my fist to ward off the broken recordings via socratic method with my inner dialogue. Helps me to relax and regroup in real time as I question the inner critic into an oblivion. Quality of life 1, Inner Critic 0. Keep it going!
This has been amazing. I’ve listened to it several times.
Oh my gosh, you are hilarious....whilst imparting wisdom. Thank you....greetings from Minnesota!
Very informative video. I like your style of teaching. Will sign up for your courses. I have to listen to this video again and get my notebook. Every video I've watched is taking me closer and closer to freeing "authentic me". Looking forward to getting to know her.
Richard this is excellent content! I have been working hard for years on healing, forgiving and reprogramming the old tapes. Some days I'm doing great and other days it feels like it's never going away. At 66, I've given up on dating or even having the desire for one more toxic relationship... I DON'T TRUST MYSELF!
It seems that We all have been damaged in some form... it's ugly, disturbing and unrelenting... I'm having a difficult day today😝
Richard would you be so kind to post more content on dealing with the superego specifically?
Thank you Richard, extremely helpful. Your videos & courses are very powerful & changing my life for the better ❤🙏❤
Thank you. I found the Server and GPS example very clear and useful.
Thank you Richard. That was really helpful.🙏🌻
Thank you, Richard! Your hypothesis on the flashbacks sounds spot on to me. Have a great day from Canada, eh! :)
Hi! I appreciate your content. I saw you in dream state preparing for a lecture and we had a chat. I thought it was pretty awesome to see you. 😁... it’s been a while since I caught up with your content so I thought maybe I needed to check out your channel again. So glad I did. I always learn so much from what you teach. Thank you 🙏🏼
Fascinating and insightful! Useful too...
Ahhh! Yes! Exactly! BTw I totally picked up on the HAL injunctions when you were coinciding with the broken superego voice LoL
Wonderful video! I love the way you can bring down the almighty and illusive psych info to the lowest common denominator so that we can all understand and learn. It's a gift! Thank you.
Such a great explanation thank you 🙏 I can understand the super ego ideology now
For me it gets reactivated by toxic shame, the original shame core senses the fakery and knows the berries from the abusive bosses and thinks that will be enough to do life. But in teenage and adulthood it gets reactivated by the false intimacy of toxic shame and results in the original enmeshment happening over and over. I love that it is not creative but automatic, that helps a lot. I would definitely do this course. Thanks this video was so beautiful
the way you break down to us concepts hard to understand makes your videos invaluable
Keep up the good work cause it is much needed in these times of the prevalence of the "disordered"
Cheers mate
So brilliant and helpful on my healing journey ... 💖
Brilliantly done with metaphors that will help to recognize the stupid other people part and disarm it in real time. Everything you said about intimacy and vulnerability being where the most damage can be done is so true. Doing a spin through my history confirms that. Fortunately I choose good counselors and pastors, unfortunately I mostly chose narcissistic partners, and well, since we didn’t get to choose our parents, those last two are where all the damaging injunctions have come from, nearly 40 years worth altogether. Yikes in that context. Grateful it’s not all four areas, lol. Really well done on this one, Richard, thank you. The way your mind works and your communication style are perfect to impart this wisdom and knowledge uniquely and very effectively. God’s gift to CPTSR codependents. 🥰👊👍🦄💜
Thank you Richard for your work
THANK YOU - what you said about intimacy cracking through to the superego has blow my mind and explained years of rumination
I'm experiencing this right now and I totally agree with you about this part of us actually inducing flashbacks. I'm physically seized up and my brain is bombarding me with every sensation and smell of every person who even looked at me slightly mean.
It's message is, don't be yourself, don't take up space, your unlovable if you be you, your unsafe and will be attacked again. Go back into your hole and play dead and then you'll be safe again.
The problem is I have a ton of stuff to do today and can't just tell ppl why I'm incapacitated like this. The only thing I can find puts some space between me and it is mediation. Even if I go to a bathroom somewhere when it kicks in and spend a few minutes meditating.
you're fantastic- such good thinking
I am on week 3 of healing superego course, WOW it’s working, going deep, healing i have the will to live again, thank you Richard 💎
Thank you Richard, like a child I look at YOU and ask "what do I mean." I look forward to this coarse.
I found this extremely helpful! Thanks.
Love the way you explain this, very interesting.
From 16:25.... Part of one of my own speculations regarding "baby talk". I think "baby talk" is adorable (after all, it's usually evidence of the learning of the present language), but when adults wield "baby talk" as a form of communication with the child, I believe it has a long-lasting negative recall.
I was blessed (blessed meaning: the intellectual researcher was so close to live data... 😁) in that my parents had completely opposite thinking styles. My mother was way more flowery prolific and creative, but constantly acted as if anything that my dad produced was boring, dry and just desert sand of the mind.
This was terribly, terribly confusing to me because I thought more like my dad than I ever thought like my mother. In fact I felt like a complete stranger to this person who had birthed me. So it impacted me that she detested the very things that made my father what I identifed with, and I listened to her responses, and kind of actually assumed that she spoke for the rest of the world. She was a representative of everyone else and my father was odd.... therefore, I was odd, right?
(PS, when I got older I asked my dad why he stuck around when he could have possibly found happiness if he would have left.... his response was highly logical, yet I completely understood it. He said he didn't want to leave us kids in an unbalanced situation. So his presence, was a 'balance' to her extreme projection)
I liken it to the story, The Emperor's New clothes.