EXACTLY! I thought the exact same thing. I couldn't be didn't die, or at the very least break his neck/back and come away paralyzed considering he literally landed on his head/neck.
Tasman Millen yeah it would. Not blunt force trauma but it would help from his head getting split open if there was a rock underneath the snow or something.
Reading some of these comments I don't think hardly anybody understands anything about skiing, Jamie Pierre or the whole situation. He didn't land it because when you jump from that height you'd break your legs. He landed on his head because he accidentally over-rotated when trying to land on his back. He didn't just jump blindly, they dug a hole to make sure the snow is deep enough. His only injury was a busted lip from a shovel when they were digging him out. Finally, he's a freeskiing legend from Minnesota known for hucking cliffs and skiing powder, not just some village idiot, and he died in an avalanche a few years ago so let's show some respect.
Well in that case, why not jump instead of skiing, that way he couldn't hurt himself unless he rammed his knee into his face? Also I have a hard time showing my respect to a guy who does this shit with a family at home, don't know if I'm overreacting, maybe he had bad luck and wasn't doing overly risky shit...but apparently he fucking died doing it, so there you go.
Jumping without the skis wouldn't really do anything, he was hurt by a shovel and without skis he would've been buried just as much as with them. Plus, he's a professional skier so skiing is what he does. That being said, it is very dangerous but every extreme sport athlete understands that - because it's what they love, they love the rush it gives them. When he died I'm fairly certain it was just an early-season avalanche so he got unlucky but he died doing what he loved and I'm not sure we can really rag on him for that. He, along with most athletes, achieved everyone's goal of doing what they love for a living and then died doing that same thing. I'm not sure there's a much better way to live your life than that, having fun and being self sustaining from it.
nkwillie I don't think anyone faults him for doing what he loved, but if that thing is life-threatening and he has a family at home, then his judgement is questionable. Also jumping would do a thing, if he landed on his feet he'd be able to breathe and not not risk any injury whatsoever. At the end of the day, most people simply don't enjoy world records that take seemingly little to no skill, if this was introduced as, Imma jump down this cliff and it'll be fun (also it's kind of a world record), people would understand, but it seems like this is supposed to be some Felix Baumgartner kind of amazing feat and the guy is talkin about Jesus as if he doesn't do it for fun, but for the challenge and the achievement, pushing what humans are capable of and I'm sitting here thinking...but he just jumped...and fell on his head..
I see your point, it's good to see the other side sometimes. I love skiing and am from Minnesota (both like him) so my opinion was rather one-sided, but there are definitely others out there that see it from different angles and therefore feel differently about it. These people are not wrong about how they feel and I failed to really think about that and their viewpoint/opinion.
The record itself is to jump and land with the head, everyone can just jump and land with their skis but not many will do with his head. He just did the perfect head landing. The rotation and timing was just perfect.
@Scumfuck McDoucheface no twist needed, I’m a prick most the time so that’s probably factual. But know what else? Their bills are paid and their heads are covered by a nice enough roof. One must take what wins he/she can get in life.
JP was an awesome dude. He went out doing what he loved; skiing. Nov 13th, 2011, JP triggered and got rolled up in an avie at Snowbird's South Chute in Utah. The resort was not yet opened for the season, but folks were poaching runs just as we always did. South Chute isn't terribly gnarly, but that changes quickly when an avalanche takes you down. God Bless, and ongoing prayers to his widow and two children. Miss ya, buddy!
@@eddiewilliams7871 He skied past your sign? Which other parts of nature and God's earth do you own? Truly hope his family are okay, and his friends like the commenter.
What is the chief end of man ? Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. There is a reason why there is something rather than nothing and it is predicated on the uncaused, non contingent, first cause of all contingency... God Seek Christ Jesus the Redeemer The cosmological argument th-cam.com/video/6CulBuMCLg0/w-d-xo.html The contingency argument m.th-cam.com/video/FPCzEP0oD7I/w-d-xo.html The teleological argument m.th-cam.com/video/EE76nwimuT0/w-d-xo.html The ontological argument m.th-cam.com/video/xBmAKCvWl74/w-d-xo.html The moral argument m.th-cam.com/video/OxiAikEk2vU/w-d-xo.html
Well...getting that out of his system was more important than his wife and kids potentially living without a husband and father. His priorities are *%"#ed up 😐
I doubt he wanted to land on his feet anyway - imagine the impact that would have had. In that deep of snow he'd be eating his knees and doing who knows what to his leg joints and back.
Let's not forget that the biggest payouts in the markets don't come from great performances but rather it's great promotions. Stay invested, diversification for streams of incomes is very important And with the right skills and proper understanding of how the market works.
I always try to land on my head when I want to protect my legs. If my legs are broken then I can’t jump off tall things. If my brain is broken I’m free to do all sorts of interesting things.
Not necessarily. At least he calculated the risk well by doing it in a place with soft snow, like Wyoming, instead of heavy wet snow like Washington or ice like the East Coast. After all, look how deep he went.
@@AuroraBoarder1 its not even a stunt its just him falling off a cliff, he had 0 speed so even if he had landed it it would have done sweet fanny adams
The 1st key is he lands on his head. A helmet usually won't help if you land on your skis. The 2nd key is he is traveling at 87 miles per hour. At that speed a helmet would just transfer the energy to his brain stem and neck. He would still be dead if his head hit a rock because it would snap his neck. In the case of landing on his head off a ten foot "cliff", a helmet would help because moderate energy *might* not be enough to snap his neck. The physics lesson here is helmets are great for "gaper" jumps ;)
00:45 “Think about Jesus Christ, dying on the cross for you.” Great last words before doing the jump, but you nearly died like St. Peter. Literally, upside down.
What a bad example of what a Christian should be. I also started thinking what people would wear around their necks if Jesus had been thrown off a cliff.
Eighty8Lives, I can see you don’t ski. Jumping from that height and landing on your legs would have such a bad impact it would prob cause many broken bones. Landing on his head was the good thing. + He landed in like 5+ feet of snow
@@tyleryoung8994 Landing on ski not on legs makes difference since the force of vertical fall is splitting along hill inclination degree. Up to me fall back was not in plan. He forgot throw bag first so his center of gravity was shifted back and up causing rotation of his body roughly after 1/2 of fall trajectory
Matthew Jamison "Jamie" Pierre (February 22, 1973 - November 13, 2011) was a professional free skier. Pierre set a world-record cliff jump of 255 feet (78 m) at the Grand Targhee Resort in Wyoming. Died: November 13, 2011 Cause of death: Avalanche
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Are you serious. He's attempting to jump the largest anyone has ever jumped and he doesn't wear a helmet. SOMEONE. PLEASE. EXPLAIN WHY. I JUST ... NO! You don't do that. It's not.. no.
Yambaization I have a joke for you. So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he'd paid attention to the sun and thought he'd figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he'd be back to the small town he'd gotten gas in last. He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he's afraid that he'll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he'd had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right. He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he's really thirsty. He's been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He's reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it's mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst. He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark. By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he's been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the town. But he doesn't recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn't remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he's close, and that after dark he'll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that'll be all he needs. As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things, he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights. Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars. He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy and his mouth and nose feel like they're full of sand. He so thirsty that he can't even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He'd forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn't noticed it the night before because he'd been in his car. He knows the Rule of Threes - three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food - then you die. Some people can make it a little longer, in the best situations. But the desert heat and having to walk and sweat isn't the best situation to be without water. He figures, unless he finds water, this is his last day. He rinses his mouth out with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He waits a while after spitting that little bit out, to see if his mouth goes numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in his mind? He's not sure. He'll go a little farther, and if he still doesn't find water, he'll try drinking some of the fluid. Then he has to face his next, harder question - which way does he go from here? Does he keep walking the same way he was yesterday (assuming that he still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no idea what to do. Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat to the left of that, and starts walking. As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first, and then stops. He starts getting worried at that - when you stop sweating he knows that means you're in trouble - usually right before heat stroke. He decides that it's time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can't wait any longer - if he passes out, he's dead. He stops in the shade of a large rock, takes the bottle out, opens it, and takes a mouthful. He slowly swallows it, making it last as long as he can. It feels so good in his dry and cracked throat that he doesn't even care about the nasty taste. He takes another mouthful, and makes it last too. Slowly, he drinks half the bottle. He figures that since he's drinking it, he might as well drink enough to make some difference and keep himself from passing out. He's quit worrying about the denaturing of the wiper fluid. If it kills him, it kills him - if he didn't drink it, he'd die anyway. Besides, he's pretty sure that whatever substance they denature the fluid with is just designed to make you sick - their way of keeping winos from buying cheap wiper fluid for the ethanol content. He can handle throwing up, if it comes to that. He walks. He walks in the hot, dry, windless desert. Sand, rocks, hills, dunes, the occasional scrawny cactus or dried bush. No sign of water. Sometimes he'll see a little movement to one side or the other, but whatever moved is usually gone before he can focus his eyes on it. Probably birds, lizards, or mice. Maybe snakes, though they usually move more at night. He's careful to stay away from the movements. After a while, he begins to stagger. He's not sure if it's fatigue, heat stroke finally catching him, or maybe he was wrong and the denaturing of the wiper fluid was worse than he thought. He tries to steady himself, and keep going. After more walking, he comes to a large stretch of sand. This is good! He knows he passed over a stretch of sand in the SUV - he remembers doing donuts in it. Or at least he thinks he remembers it - he's getting woozy enough and tired enough that he's not sure what he remembers any more or if he's hallucinating. But he thinks he remembers it. So he heads off into it, trying to get to the other side, hoping that it gets him closer to the town. He was heading for a town, wasn't he? He thinks he was. He isn't sure any more. He's not even sure how long he's been walking any more. Is it still morning? Or has it moved into afternoon and the sun is going down again? It must be afternoon - it seems like it's been too long since he started out. He walks through the sand. After a while, he comes to a big dune in the sand. This is bad. He doesn't remember any dunes when driving over the sand in his SUV. Or at least he doesn't think he remembers any. This is bad. But, he has no other direction to go. Too late to turn back now. He figures that he'll get to the top of the dune and see if he can see anything from there that helps him find the town. He keeps going up the dune. Halfway up, he slips in the bad footing of the sand for the second or third time, and falls to his knees. He doesn't feel like getting back up - he'll just fall down again. So, he keeps going up the dune on his hand and knees. While crawling, if his throat weren't so dry, he'd laugh. He's finally gotten to the hackneyed image of a man lost in the desert - crawling through the sand on his hands and knees. If would be the perfect image, he imagines, if only his clothes were more ragged. The people crawling through the desert in the cartoons always had ragged clothes. But his have lasted without any rips so far. Somebody will probably find his dessicated corpse half buried in the sand years from now, and his clothes will still be in fine shape - shake the sand out, and a good wash, and they'd be wearable again. He wishes his throat were wet enough to laugh. He coughs a little instead, and it hurts. He finally makes it to the top of the sand dune. Now that he's at the top, he struggles a little, but manages to stand up and look around. All he sees is sand. Sand, and more sand. Behind him, about a mile away, he thinks he sees the rocky ground he left to head into this sand. Ahead of him, more dunes, more sand. This isn't where he drove his SUV. This is Hell. Or close enough. Again, he doesn't know what to do. He decides to drink the rest of the wiper fluid while figuring it out. He takes out the bottle, and is removing the cap, when he glances to the side and sees something. Something in the sand. At the bottom of the dune, off to the side, he sees something strange. It's a flat area, in the sand. He stops taking the cap of the bottle off, and tries to look closer. The area seems to be circular. And it's dark - darker than the sand. And, there seems to be something in the middle of it, but he can't tell what it is. He looks as hard as he can, and still can tell from here. He's going to have to go down there and look. He puts the bottle back in his pocket, and starts to stumble down the dune. After a few steps, he realizes that he's in trouble - he's not going to be able to keep his balance. After a couple of more sliding, tottering steps, he falls and starts to roll down the dune. The sand it so hot when his body hits it that for a minute he thinks he's caught fire on the way down - like a movie car wreck flashing into flames as it goes over the cliff, before it ever even hits the ground. He closes his eyes and mouth, covers his face with his hands, and waits to stop rolling. He stops, at the bottom of the dune. After a minute or two, he finds enough energy to try to sit up and get the sand out of his face and clothes. When he clears his eyes enough, he looks around to make sure that the dark spot in the sand it still there and he hadn't just imagined it. So, seeing the large, flat, dark spot on the sand is still there, he begins to crawl towards it. He'd get up and walk towards it, but he doesn't seem to have the energy to get up and walk right now. He must be in the final stages of dehydration he figures, as he crawls. If this place in the sand doesn't have water, he'll likely never make it anywhere else. This is his last chance. He gets closer and closer, but still can't see what's in the middle of the dark area. His eyes won't quite focus any more for some reason. And lifting his head up to look takes so much effort that he gives up trying. He just keeps crawling. Finally, he reaches the area he'd seen from the dune. It takes him a minute of crawling on it before he realizes that he's no longer on sand - he's now crawling on some kind of dark stone. Stone with some kind of marking on it - a pattern cut into the stone. He's too tired to stand up and try to see what the pattern is - so he just keeps crawling. He crawls towards the center, where his blurry eyes still see something in the middle of the dark stone area. His mind, detached in a strange way, notes that either his hands and knees are so burnt by the sand that they no longer feel pain, or that this dark stone, in the middle of a burning desert with a pounding, punishing sun overhead, doesn't seem to be hot. It almost feels cool. He considers lying down on the nice cool surface. Cool, dark stone. Not a good sign. He must be hallucinating this. He's probably in the middle of a patch of sand, already lying face down and dying, and just imagining this whole thing. A desert mirage. Soon the beautiful women carrying pitchers of water will come up and start giving him a drink. Then he'll know he's gone. He decides against laying down on the cool stone. If he's going to die here in the middle of this hallucination, he at least wants to see what's in the center before he goes. He keeps crawling. It's the third time that he hears the voice before he realizes what he's hearing. He would swear that someone just said, "Greetings, traveler. You do not look well. Do you hear me?" He stops crawling. He tries to look up from where he is on his hands and knees, but it's too much effort to lift his head. So he tries something different - he leans back and tries to sit up on the stone. After a few seconds, he catches his balance, avoids falling on his face, sits up, and tries to focus his eyes. Blurry. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands and tries again. Better this time. Yep. He can see. He's sitting in the middle of a large, flat, dark expanse of stone. Directly next to him, about three feet away, is a white post or pole about two inches in diameter and sticking up about four or five feet out of the stone, at an angle. And wrapped around this white rod, tail with rattle on it hovering and seeming to be ready to start rattling, is what must be a fifteen foot long desert diamondback rattlesnake, looking directly at him. He stares at the snake in shock. He doesn't have the energy to get up and run away. He doesn't even have the energy to crawl away. This is it, his final resting place. No matter what happens, he's not going to be able to move from this spot. Well, at least dying of a bite from this monster should be quicker than dying of thirst. He'll face his end like a man. He struggles to sit up a little straighter. The snake keeps watching him. He lifts one hand and waves it in the snake's direction, feebly. The snake watches the hand for a moment, then goes back to watching the man, looking into his eyes. Hmmm. Maybe the snake had no interest in biting him? It hadn't rattled yet - that was a good sign. Maybe he wasn't going to die of snake bite after all. He then remembers that he'd looked up when he'd reached the center here because he thought he'd heard a voice. He was still very woozy - he was likely to pass out soon, the sun still beat down on him even though he was now on cool stone. He still didn't have anything to drink. But maybe he had actually heard a voice. This stone didn't look natural. Nor did that white post sticking up out of the stone. Someone had to have built this. Maybe they were still nearby. Maybe that was who talked to him. Maybe this snake was even their pet, and that's why it wasn't biting. He tries to clear his throat to say, "Hello," but his throat is too dry. All that comes out is a coughing or wheezing sound. There is no way he's going to be able to talk without something to drink. He feels his pocket, and the bottle with the wiper fluid is still there. He shakily pulls the bottle out, almost losing his balance and falling on his back in the process. This isn't good. He doesn't have much time left, by his reckoning, before he passes out. He gets the lid off of the bottle, manages to get the bottle to his lips, and pours some of the fluid into his mouth. He sloshes it around, and then swallows it. He coughs a little. His throat feels better. Maybe he can talk now. He tries again. Ignoring the snake, he turns to look around him, hoping to spot the owner of this place, and croaks out, "Hello? Is there anyone here?" He hears, from his side, "Greetings. What is it that you want?" He turns his head, back towards the snake. That's where the sound had seemed to come from. The only thing he can think of is that there must be a speaker, hidden under the snake, or maybe built into that post. He decides to try asking for help. "Please," he croaks again, suddenly feeling dizzy, "I'd love to not be thirsty any more. I've been a long time without water. Can you help me?" Looking in the direction of the snake, hoping to see where the voice was coming from this time, he is shocked to see the snake rear back, open its mouth, and speak. He hears it say, as the dizziness overtakes him and he falls forward, face first on the stone, "Very well. Coming up." A piercing pain shoots through his shoulder. Suddenly he is awake. He sits up and grabs his shoulder, wincing at the throbbing pain. He's momentarily disoriented as he looks around, and then he remembers - the crawl across the sand, the dark area of stone, the snake. He sees the snake, still wrapped around the tilted white post, still looking at him. He reaches up and feels his shoulder, where it hurts. It feels slightly wet. He pulls his fingers away and looks at them - blood. He feels his shoulder again - his shirt has what feels like two holes in it - two puncture holes - they match up with the two aching spots of pain on his shoulder. He had been bitten. By the snake. "It'll feel better in a minute." He looks up - it's the snake talking. He hadn't dreamed it. Suddenly he notices - he's not dizzy any more. And more importantly, he's not thirsty any more - at all! "Have I died? Is this the afterlife? Why are you biting me in the afterlife?" "Sorry about that, but I had to bite you," says the snake. "That's the way I work. It all comes through the bite. Think of it as natural medicine." "You bit me to help me? Why aren't I thirsty any more? Did you give me a drink before you bit me? How did I drink enough while unconscious to not be thirsty any more? I haven't had a drink for over two days. Well, except for the windshield wiper fluid... hold it, how in the world does a snake talk? Are you real? Are you some sort of Disney animation?" "No," says the snake, "I'm real. As real as you or anyone is, anyway. I didn't give you a drink. I bit you. That's how it works - it's what I do. I bite. I don't have hands to give you a drink, even if I had water just sitting around here." The man sat stunned for a minute. Here he was, sitting in the middle of the desert on some strange stone that should be hot but wasn't, talking to a snake that could talk back and had just bitten him. And he felt better. Not great - he was still starving and exhausted, but much better - he was no longer thirsty. He had started to sweat again, but only slightly. He felt hot, in this sun, but it was starting to get lower in the sky, and the cool stone beneath him was a relief he could notice now that he was no longer dying of thirst. "I might suggest that we take care of that methanol you now have in your system with the next request," continued the snake. "I can guess why you drank it, but I'm not sure how much you drank, or how much methanol was left in the wiper fluid. That stuff is nasty. It'll make you go blind in a day or two, if you drank enough of it." "Ummm, n-next request?" said the man. He put his hand back on his hurting shoulder and backed away from the snake a little. "That's the way it works. If you like, that is," explained the snake. "You get three requests. Call them wishes, if you wish." The snake grinned at his own joke, and the man drew back a little further from the show of fangs. "But there are rules," the snake continued. "The first request is free. The second requires an agreement of secrecy. The third requires the binding of responsibility." The snake looks at the man seriously. "By the way," the snake says suddenly, "my name is Nathan. Old Nathan, Samuel used to call me. He gave me the name. Before that, most of the Bound used to just call me 'Snake'. But that got old, and Samuel wouldn't stand for it. He said that anything that could talk needed a name. He was big into names. You can call me Nate, if you wish." Again, the snake grinned. "Sorry if I don't offer to shake, but I think you can understand - my shake sounds somewhat threatening." The snake give his rattle a little shake. "Umm, my name is Jack," said the man, trying to absorb all of this. "Jack Samson. "Can I ask you a question?" Jack says suddenly. "What happened to the poison...umm, in your bite. Why aren't I dying now? How did you do that? What do you mean by that's how you work?" "That's more than one question," grins Nate. "But I'll still try to answer all of them. First, yes, you can ask me a question." The snake's grin gets wider. "Second, the poison is in you. It changed you. You now no longer need to drink. That's what you asked for. Or, well, technically, you asked to not be thirsty any more - but 'any more' is such a vague term. I decided to make it permanent - now, as long as you live, you shouldn't need to drink much at all. Your body will conserve water very efficiently. You should be able to get enough just from the food you eat - much like a creature of the desert. You've been changed. "For the third question," Nate continues, "you are still dying. Besides the effects of that methanol in your system, you're a man - and men are mortal. In your current state, I give you no more than about another 50 years. Assuming you get out of this desert, alive, that is." Nate seemed vastly amused at his own humor, and continued his wide grin. "As for the fourth question," Nate said, looking more serious as far as Jack could tell, as Jack was just now working on his ability to read talking-snake emotions from snake facial features, "first you have to agree to make a second request and become bound by the secrecy, or I can't tell you." "Wait," joked Jack, "isn't this where you say you could tell me, but you'd have to kill me?" "I thought that was implied." Nate continued to look serious. "Ummm...yeah." Jack leaned back a little as he remembered again that he was talking to a fifteen foot poisonous reptile with a reputation for having a nasty temper. "So, what is this 'Bound by Secrecy' stuff, and can you really stop the effects of the methanol?" Jack thought for a second. "And, what do you mean methanol, anyway? I thought these days they use ethanol in wiper fluid, and just denature it?" "They may, I don't really know," said Nate. "I haven't gotten out in a while. Maybe they do. All I know is that I smell methanol on your breath and on that bottle in your pocket. And the blue color of the liquid when you pulled it out to drink some let me guess that it was wiper fluid. I assume that they still color wiper fluid blue?" "Yeah, they do," said Jack. "I figured," replied Nate. "As for being bound by secrecy - with the fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me, this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you decide to go back out to your kind. You won't be allowed to talk about me, write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will lead someone to guess correctly about me. You'll be bound to secrecy. Of course, I'll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I'm guessing that you're a man of your word, you'll never test the binding anyway, so you won't notice." Nate said the last part with utter confidence. Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a little nervous at this. "Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?" Well, Jack," said Nate sadly, "I can't tell you that, unless you make the second request." Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back. "Umm, well, ok," said Jack, "what is this about a second request? What can I ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?" "Sure!" said Nate, brightening. "You're allowed to ask for changes. Changes to yourself. They're like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and before you ask, I can't give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be - you still wouldn't be omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very useful, at least in my opinion." Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was staring at him. "Well, anyway," continued Nate, "I'd probably suggest giving you permanent good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you'd be immune to most poisons and diseases, and you'd tend to live a very long time, barring accident, of course. And you'll even have a tendency to recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a request to me." "Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?" said Jack. "And keep me healthy for a long time? Hmmm. It doesn't sound bad at that. And it has to be a request about a change to me? I can't ask to be rich, right? Because that's not really a change to me?" "Right," nodded Nate. "Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?" Jack asked, hopefully. "That takes two requests, Jack." "Yeah, I figured so," said Jack. "But I could ask to be a genius? I could become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?" "Well, I could make you very smart," admitted Nate, "but that wouldn't necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you very athletic, but it wouldn't necessarily make you the best athlete either. You've heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there's some truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can't make you work hard. It all depends on what you decide to do with it." "Hmmm," said Jack. "Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request, after this one?" "Maybe," said Nate, "it depends on what you decide then. There are more rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second request. You know how it goes." Nate looked like he'd shrug, if he had shoulders. "Ok, well, since I'd rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent health doesn't sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially. Do I need to sign in blood or something?" "No," said Nate. "Just hold out your hand. Or heel." Nate grinned. "Or whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said, that's how it works - the poison, you know," Nate said apologetically. Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it didn't hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot snake sunk it's fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it wouldn't hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn't going to be easy. "Hey, Jack," Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind him, "is that someone else coming up over there?" Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of nowhere? And did they bring food? Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate... Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through his jeans... Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. "I would have decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn't have to hoodwink me like that." "I've been doing this a long time, Jack," said Nate, confidently. "You humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you - especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it's only been a couple of minutes and it already doesn't hurt any more, does it? That's because of the health benefit with this one. I told you that you'd heal quickly now." "Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or something instead?" "More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you accidentally kick me or move at the last second." "Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify to hear," answered Jack. "Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to just start talking?" "Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food." "We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like," answered Nate. "Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up. "What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours. "I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife, that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to. "Ugh," said Jack, sitting back down. "I think I'll pass. I can last a little longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it is you find out here. And there's nothing to burn - I'd have to eat it raw. No thanks. Just talk." "Ok," replied Nate, still grinning. "But I'd better hurry, before you start looking at me as food. Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued. "You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden." Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate sceptically. "Well, that's the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack," said Nate. "Stand up and look at the symbol on the rock here." Nate gestured around the dark stone they were both sitting on with his nose. Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches left the truck to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and embedded in the stone than it did like a carving. Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the setting sun. He wished he'd looked at it while the sun was higher in the sky. Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another night out here! Arrrgh! Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and stood next to Nate. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate," said Jack. "Which way is it back to town? And how far? I'm eventually going to have to head back - I'm not sure I'll be able to survive by eating raw desert critters for long. And even if I can, I'm not sure I'll want to." "It's about 30 miles that way." Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to the way he'd been going when he was crawling here. "But that's 30 miles by the way the crow flies. It's about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head out early tomorrow, Jack." Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting stuff. "Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?" "Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway," said Nate. "He figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a 'tree', offering 'temptations', making bargains. That kind stuff. But he could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from across the ocean. He worried about that for a while." "Garden of Eden, hunh?" said Jack. "How long have you been here, Nate?" "No idea, really," replied Nate. "A long time. It never occurred to me to count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it's been thousands of years, at least." "So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?" said Jack. "Beats me," said Nate. "Maybe. I can't remember if the first one of your kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant requests a 'temptation', though I've rarely had refusals." "Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out of the stone there?" asked Jack. "Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don't remember if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I've been here ever since. "What is this place?" said Jack. "And what did he ask you to do?" "Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?" Nate loosened his coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but Nate was suddenly there in the way. "You can't touch that yet, Jack," said Nate. "Why not?" asked Jack. "I haven't explained it to you yet," replied Nate. "Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something," said Jack. "You'd push it that way, and it would move in the slot." "Yep, that's what it is," replied Nate. "What does it do?" asked Jack. "End the world?" "Oh, no," said Nate. "Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it 'The Lever of Doom'." For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and grinned. Jack was initially startled by Nate's pronouncement, but when Nate grinned Jack laughed. "Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it really do?" "Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said," smirked Nate. "I just thought the voice I used was funny, didn't you?" Nate continued to grin. "A lever to end humanity?" asked Jack. "What in the world is that for? Why would anyone need to end humanity?" "Well," replied Nate, "I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment. Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really bad, there should be a way to end it. I'm not really sure. All I know are the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it's here. I didn't think to ask back when I started here." "Rules? What rules?" asked Jack. "The rules are that I can't tell anybody about it or let them touch it unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human can be bound in that way at a time. That's it." explained Nate. Jack looked somewhat shocked. "You mean that I could pull the lever now? You'd let me end humanity?" "Yep," replied Nate, "if you want to." Nate looked at Jack carefully. "Do you want to, Jack?" "Umm, no." said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. "Why in the world would anyone want to end humanity? It'd take a psychotic to want that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too, wouldn't it?" "Yep," replied Nate, "being as he'd be human too." "Has anyone ever seriously considered it?" asked Nate. "Any of those bound to secrecy, that is?" "Well, of course, I think they've all seriously considered it at one time or another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and think, or so I'm told. Samuel considered it several times. He'd often get disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while. But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn't be here." Nate grinned some more. Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at the same time. After a bit, he said, "So this makes me the Judge of humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?" "That seems to be it," agreed Nate. "What kind of criteria do I use to decide?" said Jack. "How do I make this decision? Am I supposed to decide if they're good? Or too many of them are bad? Or that they're going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?" "Nope," replied Nate. "You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It's up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you're just supposed to know." "But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel horrible? Couldn't I make a mistake? How do I know that I won't screw up?" protested Jack. Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. "You don't. You just have to try your best, Jack." Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly getting dark, chewing on a fingernail. Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. "Nate, was Samuel the one bound to this before me?" "Yep," replied Nate. "He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months ago." "Sounds like a good guy," agreed Jack. "How did he handle this, when you first told him. What did he do?" "Well," said Nate, "he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and then asked me some questions, much like you're doing." "What did he ask you, if you're allowed to tell me?" asked Jack. "He asked me about the third request," replied Nate. "Aha!" It was Jack's turn to grin. "And what did you tell him?" "I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you'll come here and end it. You won't avoid it, and you won't wimp out." Nate looked serious again. "And you'll be bound to do it too, Jack." "Hmmm." Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while. Nate watched him, waiting. "Nate," continued Jack, quietly, eventually. "What did Samuel ask for with his third request?" Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly, "Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him." "Ok," said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, "give it to me. Nate looked at Jack's backside. "Give you what, Jack?" "Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped him, maybe it'll help me too." Jack turned his head to look back over his shoulder at Nate. "It did help him, right?" "He said it did," replied Nate. "But he seemed a little quieter afterward. Like he had a lot to think about." "Well, yeah, I can see that," said Jack. "So, give it to me." Jack turned to face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up. Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now, Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both. "You remember that you'll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like it needs it, right Jack?" asked Nate, shifting position. "Yeah, yeah, I got that," replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate's voice. "And," continued Nate, from his new position, "do you remember that you'll turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?" "Yeah, yeah...Hey, wait a minute!" said Jack, opening his eyes, straightening up and turning around. "Purple?!" He didn't see Nate there. With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot in the rock without the snake wrapped around it. Jack heard, from behind him, Nate's "Just Kidding!" right before he felt the now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock. Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he'd been recently bitten. Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever, his tongue flicking out into the desert night's air the only sign that he was still awake. Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around. "Nate, do accidents count?" Nate lifted his head a little bit. "What do you mean, Jack?" Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. "You know, accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does that still wipe out humanity?" "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does, Jack. I'd suggest you be careful about that if you start feeling wobbly," said Nate with some amusement. A little later - "Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?" asked Jack. "That's the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it," answered Nate. "No," Jack shook his head, "I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a rock?" "Yes, those should work," replied Nate. "Though I'm not sure how complicated you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he'd build would be gone by the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they wouldn't be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or whatever had disappeared." "Wow," said Jack, "Cool." Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him off of the stone and looked up into the sky. "Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too, right?" asked Jack. "Yes," replied Nate, "it was. He lived 167 years, Jack." "Wow, 167 years. That's almost 140 more years I'll live if I live as long. Do you know what he died of, Nate?" "He died of getting tired of living, Jack," Nate said, sounding somewhat sad. Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight. Nate looked back. "Samuel knew he wasn't going to be able to stay in society. He figured that they'd eventually see him still alive and start questioning it, so he decided that he'd have to disappear after a while. He faked his death once, but changed his mind - he decided it was too early and he could stay for a little longer. He wasn't very fond of mankind, but he liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway. "His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn't stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he told me he'd had enough. It was his time." "And then he just died?" asked Jack. Nate shook his head a little. "He made his forth request, Jack. There's only one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite. After a bit Nate continued, "He told me that he was tired, that it was his time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always had. After another pause, Nate finished, "Samuel's body disappeared off the stone with the sunrise." Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his memories. It was a long time until Jack's breathing evened out into sleep. Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn't willing to eat raw desert rat. So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to get back, and reassuring Nate that he'd be back soon, Jack started the long walk back to town. With his new health and Nate's good directions, he made it back easily. Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day, little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV. They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate's lever, though their path back didn't come within sight of it. Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see Nate. Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of, and shouldn't really raise suspicions. Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers. Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world, others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate, and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but that he had things to do first. Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger, special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out its location to the satellite. After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him fairly regularly - at least once or twice a year. After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he 'd been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years, working in a nine to five job for someone else didn't seem that worthwhile any more. Jack went back to school. Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote, and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started traveling around the country for book signings and readings. But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally. On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been a fountain of joy lately. Jack's best guess was that Nate was still missing Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn't been able to replace Samuel in Nate's eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this visit Nate didn't even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate's silence, sat down and waited. After a few minutes, Nate spoke. "Jack, I have someone to introduce you to." Jack looked surprised. "Someone to introduce me to?" Jack looked around, and then looked carefully back at Nate. "This something to do with the Big Guy? "No, no," replied Nate. "This is more personal. I want you to meet my son." Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. "Sammy!" Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the dune and up to the stone base of the lever. "Yo, Jack," said the new, much smaller snake. "Yo, Sammy" replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. "Named after Samuel, I assume?" Nate nodded. "Jack, I've got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around for me?" Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the edge of the stone and looked across the sands. "When Samuel first told me about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to have that chance - to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I have been. "He's seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear that it's not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?" Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn't even joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. "Yeah, I can do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?" Jack could sense that was something more. Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said, "Oh, yeah. Ummm, I've gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet ya!" Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight. Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. "Jack, this is my first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don't even want to know what it took for me to find a mate." Nate grinned to himself. "But anyway, I had a son for a reason. I'm tired. I'm ready for it to be over. I needed a replacement." Jack considered this for a minute. "So, you're ready to come see the world, and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?" Nate shook his head. "No, Jack - you're a better guesser than that. You've already figured out - I'm bound here - there's only one way for me to leave here. And I'm ready. It's my time to die." Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about this - probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself. Jack could understand Samuel's decision, and now Nate's. So, all Jack said was, "What do you want me to do?" Nate nodded. "Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One - show Sammy around the world - let him get his fill of it, until he's ready to come back here and take over. Two - give me the fourth request. "I can't just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won't even die of old age like you eventually will, even though it'll be a long time from now. I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I'll be able to die. And I need you to kill me. "I've even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won't work on me. And I've seen pictures of snakes that were shot - some of them live for days, so that's out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword. Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. "I'd say an axe, but that's somewhat undignified - putting my head on the ground or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work, even on me. "You willing to do that for me, Jack?" Nate turned back to look at Jack. "Yeah, Nate," replied Jack solemnly, "I think I can handle that." Nate nodded. "Good!" He turned back toward the dune and shouted, "Sammy! Jack's about ready to leave!" Then quietly, "Thanks, Jack." Jack didn't have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then headed into the desert with Sammy following. Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few wild rumors and storied followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the newspapers or the public in general. When they finished the tour of countries, Jack suggested that they try some undersea diving. They did. And spelunking. They did that too. Sammy finally drew the line at visiting Antarctica. He'd come to realize that Jack was stalling. After talking to his Dad about it over e-mail, he figured out that Jack probably didn't want to have to kill Nate. Nate told Sammy that humans could be squeamish about killing friends and acquaintances. So, Sammy eventually put his tail down (as he didn't have a foot) and told Jack that it was time - he was ready to go back and take up his duties from his dad. Jack, delayed it a little more by insisting that they go back to Japan and buy an appropriate sword. He even stretched it a little more by getting lessons in how to use the sword. But, eventually, he'd learned as much as he was likely to without dedicating his life to it, and was definitely competent enough to take the head off of a snake. It was time to head back and see Nate. When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert. When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those years ago when he'd met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn't really feel like walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he'd forgotten to figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They'd either have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark. As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his resolve, he decided that he'd go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they drove, and then they could get it over tonight. Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out into the desert. Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds, revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to the dunes, Jack didn't really think about it, he just downshifted and headed up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he'd decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and laughing at Jack's driving. As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw that this was the final dune - the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate, waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he'd gone a little too far. The RV started slipping down the other side. Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn't have enough traction. He pumped the brakes - no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and faster. Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were heading for the lever. He looked down - the RV was directly on course for it. If Jack didn't do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end humanity. Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn't working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second, Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the lever - he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit the lever - he wouldn't have time to stop, but he should be able to steer away. Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a little bit - every little bit would help. He'd have to time his turn just right. The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something else that he hadn't seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn't wrapped around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the lever to the other side. Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy realized the same thing. Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone. Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER," he ran over the snake. BUH DUM TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 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Akilroth234 The whole "he'd die with one on anyway" excuse is lame. Maybe he would but the helmet reduces risk even slightly, which would be good enough for me... If I was gonna do this I'd take all the protection I could get.
@@mikethompson2007 The head has better penetration. Sure, you could take off your skis and jump, but everyone would say that was stupid and didn't count.
They might have actually landed it which is more than he did. Of course not hitting with the skis first when your vector was vertical may have saved his spine. His friends must have something against him to not talk some sense into him not to do it.
I don't understand how this can be a record? Maybe a record for longest fall straight to your back. Surprised this dude is still alive, he was folded in half!
I know a guy who fell arse backwards off a cliff here in Australia at least 300 meters. No record for him. He should have strapped some ski's to his feet and claimed a World Record.
Not sure what this has to do with skiing. The guy could have just jumped off the cliff barefoot and received the same result. The fact that he was wearing skis was irrelevant. I know the guy was a great skier, but it doesn't take much skill to fall off a mountain and land on your head. Not much of an accomplishment either, just a fluke that he didn't bite the bullet on this one.
Seems pretty damn dumb to me... if you do something extreme like this... better get it right before you try It ! Obviously he needed a lot more of speed... to be able, to hold his posing, during the long fall through the air ! If he would have managed to made it with actually landing it and driving away, it would have been truly epIc !
"Look at me! I somewhat managed to end up relatively unharmed from an idiotic, extremely dangerous jackass stunt! I am the mostest greatest ski jumper of all the times !!!!1!!1!! OMG!" ... Yeah, right , moron, I admire and respect you exactly the same way as I admire and respect someone going down a steep hill in a grocery cart. What you did can only be described by one word: stupid. The fact that you prayed to some bullshit god before your "jump" only proves my point.
Drop. Doesn't even qualify as a successful fall. World Recodr? Not according to guiness. Johan Remen Evensen 2011 Suckas. Different catagory and they might actually accept this crazy crazy man in.
I used to get the TGR itch working as a copy/mailroom boy when I was 17. I'm so thankful for the inspiration from all the folks in your videos. I am pretty sure I taught snowboarding every day for an entire season, mentioning TGR to every person. Go big! I love the fluffy cliffs and boulders!! Take care!
another thing that I love is how he said he just wanted to hold that record for just a day like there's another person right behind him ready to do the same thing but from a higher altitude
belfonzus yes he more lands on his shoulders and then he spreads his arms to slow his fall in the snow, essentially using the snow as a cushion. If he landed on his feet he would have penetrated the snow instantly and broken his neck and spine
Hug Cirici Hey, show some respect, Jamie Pierre was one of the most influential pioneers of skiing history, and he died in an avalanche recently. Like the other people who have replied have said, if he were to land the drop he would have broken his legs and back from the fall, he was trying to land on his back to maximize surface area and beak his fall but over rotated. You obviously don’t know anything about skiing and should think before disrespecting the entire skiing community with your ignorance.
+Phi lip Tell the pro ski world it was a fail, and you will end up buried in a snow pile yourself....and oh, btw, he can't redo it....he's dead jackass.
In 2008 Fred Syversen beat this record by surviving a 351-foot cliff, albeit unintentionally. On November 13, 2011,[3] Jamie Pierre was hiking at Snowbird Resort in Utah to snowboard some early season snow. The resort was not open and no avalanche control had been done. He triggered an avalanche that rolled him over rocks for 800 feet. According to The New York Times, "He came to a stop partly buried and died of trauma".
let the haters hate. he was known for jumping off big shit all the time. i heard he was kicked out of snowbird for hitting that big one back in mineral basin? he still deserves respect in my book. REST IN PEACE
Because I expected a jump, not a fall. This is not an achievement, he fell off something high onto something soft. This took no skill, merely stupidity. If you want to respect him, whatever, don't expect others to do so just because the man is dead
cace83 I'd say neither, it's daredevil mentality. They don't want to die but they accept that death is a possibility and do not fear it. To do what no man has done before is a truly amazing thing to accomplish and is worth the risk.
To the many skiers here, as well as other outdoor enthusiasts, please explain to me why this is regarded as a Successful, Record Breaking SKI jump?? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have been under a strong impression that for any kind of jump to be counted, one must LAND successfully. And when using an instrument while making that jump, one is to continue to do so as they land.... Examples: mountain biking, motorcycle jumps, ice skaters, hurdlers, snowboarders, windsurfers, etc. Oh...and that one you see so much of during winter Olympics?....Ski Jumping! Yeah- that's the one! Don't get me wrong...props for balls and not dying, for sure! Questionable Points: (1) Is using the skies to reach an edge of a mountain to successfully stand there without tumbling on down considered a part of ski jumping? (I vote Yes) (#2) Then is it also considered to be a ski jump, when the jumper simply wanted to wear his reliably warm/dry ski boots w/ skies during his jump (#3) When (out of obvious convenience) the skies are suitably implemented, to travel from the free-fall landing zone, though only Long After the jumper has Landed on their back? (#4) Is it really considered a record for ski jumping if jump was UNQUESTIONABLY NOT DONE THROUGH THE USE OF THE SKIES & certainly not by Landing ON the Skies, followed by coming to a controlled stop? These factors do not resignate as a record ski jump to me. They would however qualify as an insane 'basic' jump...but would it be the highest on record? ....now I gotta find that out.
This is great! Wish I had the courage. And for all those commenters complaining about his landing and lack of a helmet, hey, he succeeded! He skied away unassisted after a 225ft. cliff jump.
I agree. I think my limit would be around Corbets at Jackson and Palmyra at Telluride, and I am a very experienced skier (40+ days every season). This guy is being a freaking legend.
I feel bad for his family but......cmon man, throwing yourself off cliffs and riding recklessly is not the way to take care of your family. Just saying
I didn't expect him to do a half-way back flip and land on his head.
Interesting technique.
George Gilmore lamo
Best comment ever
He wanted to land on his back but obviously that didn't work out too well
EXACTLY! I thought the exact same thing. I couldn't be didn't die, or at the very least break his neck/back and come away paralyzed considering he literally landed on his head/neck.
Yes, I can’t wait until he does a full backflip from a 510 foot cliff
"Yo guys you think i should wear a helmet for dropping off a 250 ft cliff?"
"Nah man, you're good"
Bawhahahahhahahahahahahahahahah
Lol
260ft is different story...
Well, to be fair, at that height the helmet is basically wearing him as protection.
The_Infamous_Me under appreciated comment hahaha
"Guys I'm alright, my head absorbed most of the impact''
Just by watching this shit I wonder if I could also do it.
I was thinking the same thing.. Can't anybody do this haha
Nanika I swear I’ve seen this somewhere
Its from an anime called hunter x hunter
"i blocked ya fist with my face!"
After extensive testing, the people at Teton Gravity Research have determined that gravity pulls down on an object.
Every time.
LMFAO 💀
Ohhhhhh my gosh your comment is so flipping funny! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They really had high hopes for the whole jumping off a cliff headfirst
Revolutionary thinking
"Oh sorry Jaime, the camera wasn't on. You gotta do it again"
Damnit the lense cap was on!
FULL FORCE go to a church service and maybe you’ll see
@@randompersonoftheinternet8012 nope. Went to thousands during my childhood and it never made any sense
pingu guess some people are just made different. You have your faith and i have mine
Schmidty030
😂
Jaime: "let me jump off a cliff with no helmet and land on my head"
his friends: GOOD IDEA!
Joaquin Cortada the helmet wouldn't do anything at that height.
Tasman Millen yeah it would. Not blunt force trauma but it would help from his head getting split open if there was a rock underneath the snow or something.
@@randompersonoftheinternet8012
Only if he had a full on helmet the indy car drivers use
c dawg yeah he would die if he landed on his head cause his neck would snap almost instantly
his other friend says "I will film it"
Honestly, were the skis really even necessary?
LMAO, my thoughts exactly.
To get the wr for highest ski jump, yes
Yes, they stop you from spearing straight to the ground under the snow. Basically like parachutes.
so he could go weeeeee down the hill after he almost died landing
Yup what a dumb "record", it's not like he skid after he just dived down into to the snow like a numbskull.
He must really care about his wife & kids to put them through that. What a hero.
Keyboard warrior... what a hero...
@@MrUrmother22 that hypocrite moment when calling someone a keyboard warrior makes you into a keyboard warrior 💀
@@sarcasdick6860 not at all. I'm not the one being disrespectful to a dead man and his widowed wife and and kid.
@@MrUrmother22 Welcome to the internet
Jamie Pierre died quite a few years back in an avalanche. RIP
Reading some of these comments I don't think hardly anybody understands anything about skiing, Jamie Pierre or the whole situation. He didn't land it because when you jump from that height you'd break your legs. He landed on his head because he accidentally over-rotated when trying to land on his back. He didn't just jump blindly, they dug a hole to make sure the snow is deep enough. His only injury was a busted lip from a shovel when they were digging him out. Finally, he's a freeskiing legend from Minnesota known for hucking cliffs and skiing powder, not just some village idiot, and he died in an avalanche a few years ago so let's show some respect.
I respect you for making this comment it needed to be said half of these people probably dont ski or dont have respect
Well in that case, why not jump instead of skiing, that way he couldn't hurt himself unless he rammed his knee into his face?
Also I have a hard time showing my respect to a guy who does this shit with a family at home, don't know if I'm overreacting, maybe he had bad luck and wasn't doing overly risky shit...but apparently he fucking died doing it, so there you go.
Jumping without the skis wouldn't really do anything, he was hurt by a shovel and without skis he would've been buried just as much as with them. Plus, he's a professional skier so skiing is what he does. That being said, it is very dangerous but every extreme sport athlete understands that - because it's what they love, they love the rush it gives them. When he died I'm fairly certain it was just an early-season avalanche so he got unlucky but he died doing what he loved and I'm not sure we can really rag on him for that. He, along with most athletes, achieved everyone's goal of doing what they love for a living and then died doing that same thing. I'm not sure there's a much better way to live your life than that, having fun and being self sustaining from it.
nkwillie
I don't think anyone faults him for doing what he loved, but if that thing is life-threatening and he has a family at home, then his judgement is questionable.
Also jumping would do a thing, if he landed on his feet he'd be able to breathe and not not risk any injury whatsoever.
At the end of the day, most people simply don't enjoy world records that take seemingly little to no skill,
if this was introduced as, Imma jump down this cliff and it'll be fun (also it's kind of a world record), people would understand, but it seems like this is supposed to be some Felix Baumgartner kind of amazing feat and the guy is talkin about Jesus as if he doesn't do it for fun, but for the challenge and the achievement, pushing what humans are capable of and I'm sitting here thinking...but he just jumped...and fell on his head..
I see your point, it's good to see the other side sometimes. I love skiing and am from Minnesota (both like him) so my opinion was rather one-sided, but there are definitely others out there that see it from different angles and therefore feel differently about it. These people are not wrong about how they feel and I failed to really think about that and their viewpoint/opinion.
This is literally just a guy falling off a cliff.
*breaking the world record for falling off a cliff*
@@JustTimothy Well said
"It's not flying, its falling with style"
It's not suicide, its dying with style!
True
Cliff drop
I come back once a year to get a good laugh… It never gets old, and neither do the comments 😂
Disclaimer: No helmets were damaged in the making of this video.
Thank goodness-
Cuz he just got decapitated
Cause there’s still OG’s out ther!!
@MAD fear How about the underwear?
@MAD fear I think they had more fear than the guy jumping...
The record itself is to jump and land with the head, everyone can just jump and land with their skis but not many will do with his head. He just did the perfect head landing. The rotation and timing was just perfect.
Only true chads land on their heads
LOLL SO TRUE
Maybe he should have a third ski installed on his head so he didn’t have to stop.
Factos
He would be paralyzed if he landed on his feet
“He has a wife and kids to think about.” I do too, therefore I don’t unnecessarily jump off of 300 ft cliffs.
The guy died in an avalanche a few years ago
He actually retired to be safe and spend time with his wife and kids... Later ironically died skiing at snowbird in an avalanche. Pretty sad.
@DemsRDims What. The. Fuck. How the hell can you be so disrespectful, jesus christ
Hell, I don’t like my kids or my wife and there’s no chance I do something this reckless.
Joking of course
@Scumfuck McDoucheface no twist needed, I’m a prick most the time so that’s probably factual. But know what else? Their bills are paid and their heads are covered by a nice enough roof. One must take what wins he/she can get in life.
JP was an awesome dude. He went out doing what he loved; skiing. Nov 13th, 2011, JP triggered and got rolled up in an avie at Snowbird's South Chute in Utah. The resort was not yet opened for the season, but folks were poaching runs just as we always did. South Chute isn't terribly gnarly, but that changes quickly when an avalanche takes you down. God Bless, and ongoing prayers to his widow and two children. Miss ya, buddy!
So he died while trespassing. Not a hero.
@@eddiewilliams7871 He skied past your sign? Which other parts of nature and God's earth do you own? Truly hope his family are okay, and his friends like the commenter.
Wife and Kids at home, check.
No helmet, CHECK
Jesus in his heart, OMEGA CHECK
The "omega check" really got me.
Lmao
What is the chief end of man ?
Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
There is a reason why there is something rather than nothing and it is predicated on the uncaused, non contingent, first cause of all contingency...
God
Seek Christ Jesus the Redeemer
The cosmological argument
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The contingency argument
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The teleological argument
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The ontological argument
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The moral argument
m.th-cam.com/video/OxiAikEk2vU/w-d-xo.html
No insurance: check
box of rocks for a brain.....check.
"He's got a wife and kids to think about"
Says the guy filming his friend face planting off a 255 ft cliff.
Nvm
Well...getting that out of his system was more important than his wife and kids potentially living without a husband and father. His priorities are *%"#ed up 😐
He should have been thinking about them before he skied off a 255ft cliff!
he actually died in an avalance
Not anymore, they left him
As if the fall wasn't bad enough, he almost got struck by lightning at 0:20
dudeboyredblue lmao
Hahahah
How does this not have 1k likes at lest
dudeboyredblue LITERALLY LOL 😂 HAS
Oh damn. Just realized that
Thanks for showing the end first. Saved me time watching whole video.
Me to
"if your friends told you to jump off a cliff, would you?"
Me and the boys:
Not twice!
Hold my Beer..
Hold my helmet!
If it was this particular cliff yes
He didn’t land it. Doesn’t count. Try again.
Steep vibes
I doubt he wanted to land on his feet anyway - imagine the impact that would have had. In that deep of snow he'd be eating his knees and doing who knows what to his leg joints and back.
@@brentwade9346 he landed on his head. Not sure that's any better
@@succulentstir9907 Ehh its better
@@succulentstir9907 True ;-)
That was not a jump, That was a Dive, perfect execution, head first entry, minimal splash i give it an 8.5 !
if the execution was perfect, how does deserve only an 8.5?
seems...off
@@bradleydavisson It's called a joke.....
@@bradleydavisson Bruh
@@bradleydavisson diving scores are very strict, most olympics divers only get 8s to 9s and 10s if they are lucky
This is some top-notch researching of gravity
Check: Gravity worked!
He fought the law, and the law won.
Let's not forget that the biggest payouts in the markets don't come from great performances but rather it's great promotions. Stay invested, diversification for streams of incomes is very important And with the right skills and proper understanding of how the market works.
You're right, but any investment without a proper guidance and experience is suicidal
Well they're some profitable investment one can do convenantly at this moment such as
:estate
:share
:stock
:ntf
If you had invested $10,000 in Bitcoin 10 years ago, you would have today $23M.
Bitcoin is not a simple store of value as gold.
I always try to land on my head when I want to protect my legs. If my legs are broken then I can’t jump off tall things. If my brain is broken I’m free to do all sorts of interesting things.
Interesting things such as?
@@brianlam257 well he can do it 10 times over and over again if his brain were broken
@@cripz0915 okay, that's not very interesting
crying
Lol
Now jump off again with a tea cup and you will hold the record for the Highest tea cup jump.
PLEASEBSJNABANEEH
Me: steps into shower
My shampoo bottle: 1:08
George Wilber lmao
😂😂😂😂
Ikr
OMG, I'AM DYING XDDD
Looks like u gotta bend over
I didn't notice the name of the channel at first.
Now I understand better the reasons behind this achievement.
Well that’s one of the dumber things I’ve seen
I think the same.
Not necessarily. At least he calculated the risk well by doing it in a place with soft snow, like Wyoming, instead of heavy wet snow like Washington or ice like the East Coast. After all, look how deep he went.
and he ended up being killed in an avalanche...
but jesus christ died on the cross xD
@@AuroraBoarder1 its not even a stunt its just him falling off a cliff, he had 0 speed so even if he had landed it it would have done sweet fanny adams
this dude just dropped a 255 foot cliff with no helmet....
If he was gonna die by falling then he would have no chance
also a helmet would just increase his change of dying due to his head being bigger
Shoulda wore snowblades, no one would ever break that record
I wonder if the weight was a issue ? if he landed on his back it may have had enough weight to ???
He wouldn’t have looked cool if he had one
This doesn't strike me as skiing so much as BASE jumping without a parachute
+SethHesio straight up
SethHesio hi
Korbinian Stött hello:)
The 1st key is he lands on his head. A helmet usually won't help if you land on your skis. The 2nd key is he is traveling at 87 miles per hour. At that speed a helmet would just transfer the energy to his brain stem and neck. He would still be dead if his head hit a rock because it would snap his neck. In the case of landing on his head off a ten foot "cliff", a helmet would help because moderate energy *might* not be enough to snap his neck. The physics lesson here is helmets are great for "gaper" jumps ;)
SethHesio Agreed. What’s the point of even having skis on? He skied like 10 feet. 😄
I remember seeing this on TV the first time. I must've watched it 50 times in a row !!
00:45 “Think about Jesus Christ, dying on the cross for you.” Great last words before doing the jump, but you nearly died like St. Peter. Literally, upside down.
What a bad example of what a Christian should be.
I also started thinking what people would wear around their necks if Jesus had been thrown off a cliff.
@@brynmrsh Cliffs, obviously
@@brynmrsh Jesus was prophesied to die the way He did thousands of years before it happened
like mussolini lmao
These are the best comments I’ve ever seen
actually tho
Hahaha
I thought I was just really high and hysterical from my breakup so thank you for this because I am crying laughing lmaooo
@@SkinnyButJiggy same here, it's heaven
Well i can ruin that by saying the guy actually died back in 2011..
*Jumps off cliff and lands on head*
"You all right?"
Eighty8Lives, I can see you don’t ski. Jumping from that height and landing on your legs would have such a bad impact it would prob cause many broken bones. Landing on his head was the good thing. + He landed in like 5+ feet of snow
Pure Luck do u ski? He attempted to land on his back which was his best option, landing on his head was not planned and is not a good option
@@tyleryoung8994 Landing on ski not on legs makes difference since the force of vertical fall is splitting along hill inclination degree. Up to me fall back was not in plan. He forgot throw bag first so his center of gravity was shifted back and up causing rotation of his body roughly after 1/2 of fall trajectory
Pure Luck Hilariously, your comment was just as stupid but maybe more so. You clearly don’t ski yourself!
He was alright though
He seemed like he barely even wanted preparation, he simply went there and jumped. lol
Him landing upside down is just too funny.
“Luckily my neck broke my fall.” -Joe Dirt
Joe Dart
Matthew Jamison "Jamie" Pierre (February 22, 1973 - November 13, 2011) was a professional free skier. Pierre set a world-record cliff jump of 255 feet (78 m) at the Grand Targhee Resort in Wyoming.
Died: November 13, 2011
Cause of death: Avalanche
Man that sucks
I’m sure he used his best judgement that day also.
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
yo guys my friend's dad used to know that guy
:|
Are you serious. He's attempting to jump the largest anyone has ever jumped and he doesn't wear a helmet. SOMEONE. PLEASE. EXPLAIN WHY. I JUST
... NO! You don't do that. It's not.. no.
EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS.
+Nikki Rees I don't think a helmet would have helped prevent a broken neck.
ka1kage I KNOW BUT CAN HE AT LEAST TRY TO PUT ONE ON FOR THE SAKE OF NOT HITTING ROCKS? Caps Lock. Heh.
+Nikki Rees yes, and furthermore he wears a backpack to get a little extra acceleration xD
Yambaization I have a joke for you.
So, there's a man crawling through the desert.
He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.
He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out
and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he'd paid attention to the sun and thought he'd figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he'd be back to the small town he'd gotten gas in last.
He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon
how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he's afraid that he'll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So,
he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication
later, brings an umbrella he'd had in the back of the SUV with him to give
him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle
in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the
direction he thinks is right.
He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he's really thirsty. He's
been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He's reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it's mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and
whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst.
He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark.
By the end of the day he starts getting worried. He figures he's been walking at least 3 miles an hour, according to his watch for over 10 hours. That means that if his estimate was right that he should be close to the
town. But he doesn't recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn't remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he's close, and that after dark he'll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills, and that'll be all he needs.
As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things,
he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights.
Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back
up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars.
He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy and his mouth and nose feel like they're full of sand. He so thirsty that he can't even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He'd forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn't noticed it the night before because he'd been in his car.
He knows the Rule of Threes - three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food - then you die. Some people can make it a little longer, in the best situations. But the desert heat and having to walk and sweat isn't the best situation to be without water. He figures, unless he finds water, this is his last day.
He rinses his mouth out with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He waits a while after spitting that little bit out, to see if his mouth goes numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in
his mind? He's not sure. He'll go a little farther, and if he still doesn't
find water, he'll try drinking some of the fluid.
Then he has to face his next, harder question - which way does he go from here? Does he keep walking the same way he was yesterday (assuming that he still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no idea what to do.
Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat to the left of that, and starts walking.
As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first, and then stops. He starts getting worried at that - when you stop sweating he knows that means you're in trouble - usually right before heat stroke.
He decides that it's time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can't wait
any longer - if he passes out, he's dead. He stops in the shade of a large
rock, takes the bottle out, opens it, and takes a mouthful. He slowly
swallows it, making it last as long as he can. It feels so good in his dry
and cracked throat that he doesn't even care about the nasty taste. He takes
another mouthful, and makes it last too. Slowly, he drinks half the bottle.
He figures that since he's drinking it, he might as well drink enough to
make some difference and keep himself from passing out.
He's quit worrying about the denaturing of the wiper fluid. If it kills him,
it kills him - if he didn't drink it, he'd die anyway. Besides, he's pretty
sure that whatever substance they denature the fluid with is just designed to make you sick - their way of keeping winos from buying cheap wiper fluid for the ethanol content. He can handle throwing up, if it comes to that.
He walks. He walks in the hot, dry, windless desert. Sand, rocks, hills,
dunes, the occasional scrawny cactus or dried bush. No sign of water.
Sometimes he'll see a little movement to one side or the other, but whatever moved is usually gone before he can focus his eyes on it. Probably birds, lizards, or mice. Maybe snakes, though they usually move more at night. He's careful to stay away from the movements.
After a while, he begins to stagger. He's not sure if it's fatigue, heat
stroke finally catching him, or maybe he was wrong and the denaturing of the wiper fluid was worse than he thought. He tries to steady himself, and keep going.
After more walking, he comes to a large stretch of sand. This is good! He
knows he passed over a stretch of sand in the SUV - he remembers doing
donuts in it. Or at least he thinks he remembers it - he's getting woozy
enough and tired enough that he's not sure what he remembers any more or if
he's hallucinating. But he thinks he remembers it. So he heads off into it,
trying to get to the other side, hoping that it gets him closer to the town.
He was heading for a town, wasn't he? He thinks he was. He isn't sure any more. He's not even sure how long he's been walking any more. Is it still morning? Or has it moved into afternoon and the sun is going down again? It must be afternoon - it seems like it's been too long since he started out.
He walks through the sand.
After a while, he comes to a big dune in the sand. This is bad. He doesn't
remember any dunes when driving over the sand in his SUV. Or at least he
doesn't think he remembers any. This is bad.
But, he has no other direction to go. Too late to turn back now. He figures
that he'll get to the top of the dune and see if he can see anything from
there that helps him find the town. He keeps going up the dune.
Halfway up, he slips in the bad footing of the sand for the second or third
time, and falls to his knees. He doesn't feel like getting back up - he'll
just fall down again. So, he keeps going up the dune on his hand and knees.
While crawling, if his throat weren't so dry, he'd laugh. He's finally
gotten to the hackneyed image of a man lost in the desert - crawling through
the sand on his hands and knees. If would be the perfect image, he imagines, if only his clothes were more ragged. The people crawling through the desert
in the cartoons always had ragged clothes. But his have lasted without any
rips so far. Somebody will probably find his dessicated corpse half buried in the sand years from now, and his clothes will still be in fine shape -
shake the sand out, and a good wash, and they'd be wearable again. He wishes his throat were wet enough to laugh. He coughs a little instead, and it hurts.
He finally makes it to the top of the sand dune. Now that he's at the top,
he struggles a little, but manages to stand up and look around. All he sees
is sand. Sand, and more sand. Behind him, about a mile away, he thinks he
sees the rocky ground he left to head into this sand. Ahead of him, more
dunes, more sand. This isn't where he drove his SUV. This is Hell. Or close enough.
Again, he doesn't know what to do. He decides to drink the rest of the wiper
fluid while figuring it out. He takes out the bottle, and is removing the
cap, when he glances to the side and sees something. Something in the sand. At the bottom of the dune, off to the side, he sees something strange. It's a flat area, in the sand. He stops taking the cap of the bottle off, and tries to look closer. The area seems to be circular. And it's dark - darker than the sand. And, there seems to be something in the middle of it, but he can't tell what it is. He looks as hard as he can, and still can tell from
here. He's going to have to go down there and look.
He puts the bottle back in his pocket, and starts to stumble down the dune.
After a few steps, he realizes that he's in trouble - he's not going to be able to keep his balance. After a couple of more sliding, tottering steps, he falls and starts to roll down the dune. The sand it so hot when his body hits it that for a minute he thinks he's caught fire on the way down - like a movie car wreck flashing into flames as it goes over the cliff, before it ever even hits the ground. He closes his eyes and mouth, covers his face with his hands, and waits to stop rolling.
He stops, at the bottom of the dune. After a minute or two, he finds enough
energy to try to sit up and get the sand out of his face and clothes. When
he clears his eyes enough, he looks around to make sure that the dark spot
in the sand it still there and he hadn't just imagined it.
So, seeing the large, flat, dark spot on the sand is still there, he begins
to crawl towards it. He'd get up and walk towards it, but he doesn't seem to
have the energy to get up and walk right now. He must be in the final stages
of dehydration he figures, as he crawls. If this place in the sand doesn't
have water, he'll likely never make it anywhere else. This is his last
chance.
He gets closer and closer, but still can't see what's in the middle of the
dark area. His eyes won't quite focus any more for some reason. And lifting
his head up to look takes so much effort that he gives up trying. He just
keeps crawling.
Finally, he reaches the area he'd seen from the dune. It takes him a minute of crawling on it before he realizes that he's no longer on sand - he's now crawling on some kind of dark stone. Stone with some kind of marking on it - a pattern cut into the stone. He's too tired to stand up and try to see what the pattern is - so he just keeps crawling. He crawls towards the center,
where his blurry eyes still see something in the middle of the dark stone
area.
His mind, detached in a strange way, notes that either his hands and knees are so burnt by the sand that they no longer feel pain, or that this dark
stone, in the middle of a burning desert with a pounding, punishing sun
overhead, doesn't seem to be hot. It almost feels cool. He considers lying
down on the nice cool surface.
Cool, dark stone. Not a good sign. He must be hallucinating this. He's
probably in the middle of a patch of sand, already lying face down and
dying, and just imagining this whole thing. A desert mirage. Soon the
beautiful women carrying pitchers of water will come up and start giving him
a drink. Then he'll know he's gone.
He decides against laying down on the cool stone. If he's going to die here
in the middle of this hallucination, he at least wants to see what's in the
center before he goes. He keeps crawling.
It's the third time that he hears the voice before he realizes what he's
hearing. He would swear that someone just said, "Greetings, traveler. You do
not look well. Do you hear me?"
He stops crawling. He tries to look up from where he is on his hands and
knees, but it's too much effort to lift his head. So he tries something
different - he leans back and tries to sit up on the stone. After a few
seconds, he catches his balance, avoids falling on his face, sits up, and
tries to focus his eyes. Blurry. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands
and tries again. Better this time.
Yep. He can see. He's sitting in the middle of a large, flat, dark expanse
of stone. Directly next to him, about three feet away, is a white post or
pole about two inches in diameter and sticking up about four or five feet
out of the stone, at an angle.
And wrapped around this white rod, tail with rattle on it hovering and
seeming to be ready to start rattling, is what must be a fifteen foot long
desert diamondback rattlesnake, looking directly at him.
He stares at the snake in shock. He doesn't have the energy to get up and
run away. He doesn't even have the energy to crawl away. This is it, his
final resting place. No matter what happens, he's not going to be able to
move from this spot.
Well, at least dying of a bite from this monster should be quicker than
dying of thirst. He'll face his end like a man. He struggles to sit up a
little straighter. The snake keeps watching him. He lifts one hand and waves
it in the snake's direction, feebly. The snake watches the hand for a
moment, then goes back to watching the man, looking into his eyes.
Hmmm. Maybe the snake had no interest in biting him? It hadn't rattled yet -
that was a good sign. Maybe he wasn't going to die of snake bite after all.
He then remembers that he'd looked up when he'd reached the center here
because he thought he'd heard a voice. He was still very woozy - he was
likely to pass out soon, the sun still beat down on him even though he was
now on cool stone. He still didn't have anything to drink. But maybe he had
actually heard a voice. This stone didn't look natural. Nor did that white
post sticking up out of the stone. Someone had to have built this. Maybe
they were still nearby. Maybe that was who talked to him. Maybe this snake
was even their pet, and that's why it wasn't biting.
He tries to clear his throat to say, "Hello," but his throat is too dry. All
that comes out is a coughing or wheezing sound. There is no way he's going
to be able to talk without something to drink. He feels his pocket, and the
bottle with the wiper fluid is still there. He shakily pulls the bottle out,
almost losing his balance and falling on his back in the process. This isn't
good. He doesn't have much time left, by his reckoning, before he passes
out.
He gets the lid off of the bottle, manages to get the bottle to his lips,
and pours some of the fluid into his mouth. He sloshes it around, and then
swallows it. He coughs a little. His throat feels better. Maybe he can talk
now.
He tries again. Ignoring the snake, he turns to look around him, hoping to
spot the owner of this place, and croaks out, "Hello? Is there anyone here?"
He hears, from his side, "Greetings. What is it that you want?"
He turns his head, back towards the snake. That's where the sound had seemed
to come from. The only thing he can think of is that there must be a
speaker, hidden under the snake, or maybe built into that post. He decides
to try asking for help.
"Please," he croaks again, suddenly feeling dizzy, "I'd love to not be
thirsty any more. I've been a long time without water. Can you help me?"
Looking in the direction of the snake, hoping to see where the voice was
coming from this time, he is shocked to see the snake rear back, open its
mouth, and speak. He hears it say, as the dizziness overtakes him and he
falls forward, face first on the stone, "Very well. Coming up."
A piercing pain shoots through his shoulder. Suddenly he is awake. He sits
up and grabs his shoulder, wincing at the throbbing pain. He's momentarily
disoriented as he looks around, and then he remembers - the crawl across the
sand, the dark area of stone, the snake. He sees the snake, still wrapped
around the tilted white post, still looking at him.
He reaches up and feels his shoulder, where it hurts. It feels slightly wet.
He pulls his fingers away and looks at them - blood. He feels his shoulder
again - his shirt has what feels like two holes in it - two puncture holes -
they match up with the two aching spots of pain on his shoulder. He had been
bitten. By the snake.
"It'll feel better in a minute." He looks up - it's the snake talking. He
hadn't dreamed it. Suddenly he notices - he's not dizzy any more. And more
importantly, he's not thirsty any more - at all!
"Have I died? Is this the afterlife? Why are you biting me in the
afterlife?"
"Sorry about that, but I had to bite you," says the snake. "That's the way I
work. It all comes through the bite. Think of it as natural medicine."
"You bit me to help me? Why aren't I thirsty any more? Did you give me a
drink before you bit me? How did I drink enough while unconscious to not be
thirsty any more? I haven't had a drink for over two days. Well, except for
the windshield wiper fluid... hold it, how in the world does a snake talk?
Are you real? Are you some sort of Disney animation?"
"No," says the snake, "I'm real. As real as you or anyone is, anyway. I
didn't give you a drink. I bit you. That's how it works - it's what I do. I
bite. I don't have hands to give you a drink, even if I had water just
sitting around here."
The man sat stunned for a minute. Here he was, sitting in the middle of the
desert on some strange stone that should be hot but wasn't, talking to a
snake that could talk back and had just bitten him. And he felt better. Not
great - he was still starving and exhausted, but much better - he was no
longer thirsty. He had started to sweat again, but only slightly. He felt
hot, in this sun, but it was starting to get lower in the sky, and the cool
stone beneath him was a relief he could notice now that he was no longer
dying of thirst.
"I might suggest that we take care of that methanol you now have in your
system with the next request," continued the snake. "I can guess why you
drank it, but I'm not sure how much you drank, or how much methanol was left
in the wiper fluid. That stuff is nasty. It'll make you go blind in a day or
two, if you drank enough of it."
"Ummm, n-next request?" said the man. He put his hand back on his hurting
shoulder and backed away from the snake a little.
"That's the way it works. If you like, that is," explained the snake. "You
get three requests. Call them wishes, if you wish." The snake grinned at his
own joke, and the man drew back a little further from the show of fangs.
"But there are rules," the snake continued. "The first request is free. The
second requires an agreement of secrecy. The third requires the binding of
responsibility." The snake looks at the man seriously.
"By the way," the snake says suddenly, "my name is Nathan. Old Nathan,
Samuel used to call me. He gave me the name. Before that, most of the Bound
used to just call me 'Snake'. But that got old, and Samuel wouldn't stand
for it. He said that anything that could talk needed a name. He was big into
names. You can call me Nate, if you wish." Again, the snake grinned. "Sorry
if I don't offer to shake, but I think you can understand - my shake sounds
somewhat threatening." The snake give his rattle a little shake.
"Umm, my name is Jack," said the man, trying to absorb all of this. "Jack
Samson.
"Can I ask you a question?" Jack says suddenly. "What happened to the
poison...umm, in your bite. Why aren't I dying now? How did you do that?
What do you mean by that's how you work?"
"That's more than one question," grins Nate. "But I'll still try to answer
all of them. First, yes, you can ask me a question." The snake's grin gets
wider. "Second, the poison is in you. It changed you. You now no longer need
to drink. That's what you asked for. Or, well, technically, you asked to not
be thirsty any more - but 'any more' is such a vague term. I decided to make
it permanent - now, as long as you live, you shouldn't need to drink much at
all. Your body will conserve water very efficiently. You should be able to
get enough just from the food you eat - much like a creature of the desert.
You've been changed.
"For the third question," Nate continues, "you are still dying. Besides the
effects of that methanol in your system, you're a man - and men are mortal.
In your current state, I give you no more than about another 50 years.
Assuming you get out of this desert, alive, that is." Nate seemed vastly
amused at his own humor, and continued his wide grin.
"As for the fourth question," Nate said, looking more serious as far as Jack
could tell, as Jack was just now working on his ability to read
talking-snake emotions from snake facial features, "first you have to agree
to make a second request and become bound by the secrecy, or I can't tell
you."
"Wait," joked Jack, "isn't this where you say you could tell me, but you'd
have to kill me?"
"I thought that was implied." Nate continued to look serious.
"Ummm...yeah." Jack leaned back a little as he remembered again that he was
talking to a fifteen foot poisonous reptile with a reputation for having a
nasty temper. "So, what is this 'Bound by Secrecy' stuff, and can you really
stop the effects of the methanol?" Jack thought for a second. "And, what do
you mean methanol, anyway? I thought these days they use ethanol in wiper
fluid, and just denature it?"
"They may, I don't really know," said Nate. "I haven't gotten out in a
while. Maybe they do. All I know is that I smell methanol on your breath and
on that bottle in your pocket. And the blue color of the liquid when you
pulled it out to drink some let me guess that it was wiper fluid. I assume
that they still color wiper fluid blue?"
"Yeah, they do," said Jack.
"I figured," replied Nate. "As for being bound by secrecy - with the
fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me,
this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you
decide to go back out to your kind. You won't be allowed to talk about me,
write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will
lead someone to guess correctly about me. You'll be bound to secrecy. Of
course, I'll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I'm
guessing that you're a man of your word, you'll never test the binding
anyway, so you won't notice." Nate said the last part with utter confidence.
Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a
little nervous at this. "Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know
that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?"
Well, Jack," said Nate sadly, "I can't tell you that, unless you make the
second request." Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back.
"Umm, well, ok," said Jack, "what is this about a second request? What can I
ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?"
"Sure!" said Nate, brightening. "You're allowed to ask for changes. Changes
to yourself. They're like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and
before you ask, I can't give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or
omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous
and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and
sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be - you still wouldn't be
omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very
useful, at least in my opinion." Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was
staring at him.
"Well, anyway," continued Nate, "I'd probably suggest giving you permanent
good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you'd be
immune to most poisons and diseases, and you'd tend to live a very long
time, barring accident, of course. And you'll even have a tendency to
recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a
request to me."
"Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?" said Jack. "And keep me healthy for a
long time? Hmmm. It doesn't sound bad at that. And it has to be a request
about a change to me? I can't ask to be rich, right? Because that's not
really a change to me?"
"Right," nodded Nate.
"Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?" Jack asked, hopefully.
"That takes two requests, Jack."
"Yeah, I figured so," said Jack. "But I could ask to be a genius? I could
become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?"
"Well, I could make you very smart," admitted Nate, "but that wouldn't
necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you
very athletic, but it wouldn't necessarily make you the best athlete either.
You've heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there's some
truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can't make you work hard. It
all depends on what you decide to do with it."
"Hmmm," said Jack. "Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request,
after this one?"
"Maybe," said Nate, "it depends on what you decide then. There are more
rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second
request. You know how it goes." Nate looked like he'd shrug, if he had
shoulders.
"Ok, well, since I'd rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent
health doesn't sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially.
Do I need to sign in blood or something?"
"No," said Nate. "Just hold out your hand. Or heel." Nate grinned. "Or
whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said,
that's how it works - the poison, you know," Nate said apologetically.
Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it
didn't hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better
about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot
snake sunk it's fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to
be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack
tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it
wouldn't hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn't going to be easy.
"Hey, Jack," Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind
him, "is that someone else coming up over there?"
Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of
nowhere? And did they bring food?
Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate...
Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through
his jeans...
Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. "I would have
decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn't have to
hoodwink me like that."
"I've been doing this a long time, Jack," said Nate, confidently. "You
humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you -
especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it's only been a couple of
minutes and it already doesn't hurt any more, does it? That's because of the
health benefit with this one. I told you that you'd heal quickly now."
"Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody
likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or
something instead?"
"More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you
accidentally kick me or move at the last second."
"Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify
to hear," answered Jack.
"Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to
just start talking?"
"Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food."
"We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like,"
answered Nate.
"Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up.
"What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically
whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with
excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.
"I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite
it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife,
that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.
"Ugh," said Jack, sitting back down. "I think I'll pass. I can last a little
longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it
is you find out here. And there's nothing to burn - I'd have to eat it raw.
No thanks. Just talk."
"Ok," replied Nate, still grinning. "But I'd better hurry, before you start
looking at me as food.
Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued.
"You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden."
Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate
sceptically.
"Well, that's the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack," said Nate. "Stand up
and look at the symbol on the rock here." Nate gestured around the dark
stone they were both sitting on with his nose.
Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a
representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around
was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches
left the truck to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it
looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and
embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.
Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the
setting sun. He wished he'd looked at it while the sun was higher in the
sky.
Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another
night out here! Arrrgh!
Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and
stood next to Nate. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate," said
Jack. "Which way is it back to town? And how far? I'm eventually going to
have to head back - I'm not sure I'll be able to survive by eating raw
desert critters for long. And even if I can, I'm not sure I'll want to."
"It's about 30 miles that way." Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail
this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to
the way he'd been going when he was crawling here. "But that's 30 miles by
the way the crow flies. It's about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be
able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head
out early tomorrow, Jack."
Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and
then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading
out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting
stuff. "Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?"
"Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway," said Nate. "He
figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a
'tree', offering 'temptations', making bargains. That kind stuff. But he
could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from
across the ocean. He worried about that for a while."
"Garden of Eden, hunh?" said Jack. "How long have you been here, Nate?"
"No idea, really," replied Nate. "A long time. It never occurred to me to
count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I
do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it's been thousands
of years, at least."
"So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?" said Jack.
"Beats me," said Nate. "Maybe. I can't remember if the first one of your
kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it
could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant
requests a 'temptation', though I've rarely had refusals."
"Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out
of the stone there?" asked Jack.
"Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much
bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don't remember
if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But
one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do
something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I've
been here ever since.
"What is this place?" said Jack. "And what did he ask you to do?"
"Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?" Nate loosened his
coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into
the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to
enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned
over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as
Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but
Nate was suddenly there in the way.
"You can't touch that yet, Jack," said Nate.
"Why not?" asked Jack.
"I haven't explained it to you yet," replied Nate.
"Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something," said Jack. "You'd push it
that way, and it would move in the slot."
"Yep, that's what it is," replied Nate.
"What does it do?" asked Jack. "End the world?"
"Oh, no," said Nate. "Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it
'The Lever of Doom'." For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing
voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and
grinned.
Jack was initially startled by Nate's pronouncement, but when Nate grinned
Jack laughed. "Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it
really do?"
"Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said," smirked Nate. "I just thought
the voice I used was funny, didn't you?"
Nate continued to grin.
"A lever to end humanity?" asked Jack. "What in the world is that for? Why
would anyone need to end humanity?"
"Well," replied Nate, "I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment.
Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really
bad, there should be a way to end it. I'm not really sure. All I know are
the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it's here. I
didn't think to ask back when I started here."
"Rules? What rules?" asked Jack.
"The rules are that I can't tell anybody about it or let them touch it
unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human
can be bound in that way at a time. That's it." explained Nate.
Jack looked somewhat shocked. "You mean that I could pull the lever now?
You'd let me end humanity?"
"Yep," replied Nate, "if you want to." Nate looked at Jack carefully. "Do
you want to, Jack?"
"Umm, no." said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. "Why in
the world would anyone want to end humanity? It'd take a psychotic to want
that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too,
wouldn't it?"
"Yep," replied Nate, "being as he'd be human too."
"Has anyone ever seriously considered it?" asked Nate. "Any of those bound
to secrecy, that is?"
"Well, of course, I think they've all seriously considered it at one time or
another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and
think, or so I'm told. Samuel considered it several times. He'd often get
disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while.
But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn't be here." Nate grinned some more.
Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at
the same time. After a bit, he said, "So this makes me the Judge of
humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?"
"That seems to be it," agreed Nate.
"What kind of criteria do I use to decide?" said Jack. "How do I make this
decision? Am I supposed to decide if they're good? Or too many of them are
bad? Or that they're going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?"
"Nope," replied Nate. "You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It's
up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you're just supposed
to know."
"But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel
horrible? Couldn't I make a mistake? How do I know that I won't screw up?"
protested Jack.
Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. "You don't. You just have to
try your best, Jack."
Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly
getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.
Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. "Nate, was Samuel the
one bound to this before me?"
"Yep," replied Nate. "He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to
read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried
in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months
ago."
"Sounds like a good guy," agreed Jack. "How did he handle this, when you
first told him. What did he do?"
"Well," said Nate, "he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and
then asked me some questions, much like you're doing."
"What did he ask you, if you're allowed to tell me?" asked Jack.
"He asked me about the third request," replied Nate.
"Aha!" It was Jack's turn to grin. "And what did you tell him?"
"I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request
you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point
that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you'll come here
and end it. You won't avoid it, and you won't wimp out." Nate looked serious
again. "And you'll be bound to do it too, Jack."
"Hmmm." Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while.
Nate watched him, waiting.
"Nate," continued Jack, quietly, eventually. "What did Samuel ask for with
his third request?"
Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly,
"Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him."
"Ok," said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, "give it
to me.
Nate looked at Jack's backside. "Give you what, Jack?"
"Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped
him, maybe it'll help me too." Jack turned his head to look back over his
shoulder at Nate. "It did help him, right?"
"He said it did," replied Nate. "But he seemed a little quieter afterward.
Like he had a lot to think about."
"Well, yeah, I can see that," said Jack. "So, give it to me." Jack turned to
face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up.
Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now,
Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.
"You remember that you'll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like
it needs it, right Jack?" asked Nate, shifting position.
"Yeah, yeah, I got that," replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body
tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate's voice.
"And," continued Nate, from his new position, "do you remember that you'll
turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?"
"Yeah, yeah...Hey, wait a minute!" said Jack, opening his eyes,
straightening up and turning around. "Purple?!" He didn't see Nate there.
With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot
in the rock without the snake wrapped around it.
Jack heard, from behind him, Nate's "Just Kidding!" right before he felt the
now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock.
Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet
extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to
the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he'd been
recently bitten.
Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped
bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever,
his tongue flicking out into the desert night's air the only sign that he
was still awake.
Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he
thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around.
"Nate, do accidents count?"
Nate lifted his head a little bit. "What do you mean, Jack?"
Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. "You know,
accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does
that still wipe out humanity?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does, Jack. I'd suggest you be careful about that
if you start feeling wobbly," said Nate with some amusement.
A little later - "Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?" asked Jack.
"That's the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it," answered Nate.
"No," Jack shook his head, "I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull
the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a
rock?"
"Yes, those should work," replied Nate. "Though I'm not sure how complicated
you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote
control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he'd build would be gone by
the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that
in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they
wouldn't be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or
whatever had disappeared."
"Wow," said Jack, "Cool." Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him
off of the stone and looked up into the sky.
"Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too,
right?" asked Jack.
"Yes," replied Nate, "it was. He lived 167 years, Jack."
"Wow, 167 years. That's almost 140 more years I'll live if I live as long.
Do you know what he died of, Nate?"
"He died of getting tired of living, Jack," Nate said, sounding somewhat
sad.
Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight.
Nate looked back. "Samuel knew he wasn't going to be able to stay in
society. He figured that they'd eventually see him still alive and start
questioning it, so he decided that he'd have to disappear after a while. He
faked his death once, but changed his mind - he decided it was too early and
he could stay for a little longer. He wasn't very fond of mankind, but he
liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway.
"His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn't
stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend
time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he
told me he'd had enough. It was his time."
"And then he just died?" asked Jack.
Nate shook his head a little. "He made his forth request, Jack. There's only
one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite.
After a bit Nate continued, "He told me that he was tired, that it was his
time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always
had.
After another pause, Nate finished, "Samuel's body disappeared off the stone
with the sunrise."
Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his
memories. It was a long time until Jack's breathing evened out into sleep.
Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with
the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except
that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn't willing to eat raw desert rat.
So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to
get back, and reassuring Nate that he'd be back soon, Jack started the long
walk back to town. With his new health and Nate's good directions, he made
it back easily.
Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day,
little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert
and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with
a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV.
They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without
incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate's
lever, though their path back didn't come within sight of it.
Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a
book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to
avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see
Nate.
Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new
backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then
started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he
knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of,
and shouldn't really raise suspicions.
Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers.
Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world,
others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate,
and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but
that he had things to do first.
Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought
a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger,
special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a
special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot
rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out
its location to the satellite.
After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him
fairly regularly - at least once or twice a year.
After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he
'd been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years,
working in a nine to five job for someone else didn't seem that worthwhile
any more. Jack went back to school.
Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps
because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote,
and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started
traveling around the country for book signings and readings.
But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally.
On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been
a fountain of joy lately. Jack's best guess was that Nate was still missing
Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn't been able to replace
Samuel in Nate's eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this
visit Nate didn't even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at
Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate's
silence, sat down and waited.
After a few minutes, Nate spoke. "Jack, I have someone to introduce you to."
Jack looked surprised. "Someone to introduce me to?" Jack looked around, and then looked carefully back at Nate. "This something to do with the Big Guy?
"No, no," replied Nate. "This is more personal. I want you to meet my son."
Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. "Sammy!"
Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the
dune and up to the stone base of the lever.
"Yo, Jack," said the new, much smaller snake.
"Yo, Sammy" replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. "Named after Samuel, I
assume?"
Nate nodded. "Jack, I've got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around
for me?" Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the
edge of the stone and looked across the sands. "When Samuel first told me
about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the
other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to
have that chance - to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I have been.
"He's seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear that it's not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have
that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?"
Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn't even
joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. "Yeah, I can
do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?" Jack could sense that was
something more.
Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said,
"Oh, yeah. Ummm, I've gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet
ya!" Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight.
Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. "Jack, this is my
first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don't even want to
know what it took for me to find a mate." Nate grinned to himself. "But
anyway, I had a son for a reason. I'm tired. I'm ready for it to be over. I
needed a replacement."
Jack considered this for a minute. "So, you're ready to come see the world,
and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?"
Nate shook his head. "No, Jack - you're a better guesser than that. You've
already figured out - I'm bound here - there's only one way for me to leave
here. And I'm ready. It's my time to die."
Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about
this - probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would
be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another
hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself.
Jack could understand Samuel's decision, and now Nate's. So, all Jack said
was, "What do you want me to do?"
Nate nodded. "Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One - show Sammy around
the world - let him get his fill of it, until he's ready to come back here
and take over. Two - give me the fourth request.
"I can't just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won't even die of
old age like you eventually will, even though it'll be a long time from now.
I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I'll be
able to die. And I need you to kill me.
"I've even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won't work on me. And
I've seen pictures of snakes that were shot - some of them live for days, so
that's out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword.
Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. "I'd
say an axe, but that's somewhat undignified - putting my head on the ground
or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of
going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work,
even on me.
"You willing to do that for me, Jack?" Nate turned back to look at Jack.
"Yeah, Nate," replied Jack solemnly, "I think I can handle that."
Nate nodded. "Good!" He turned back toward the dune and shouted, "Sammy!
Jack's about ready to leave!" Then quietly, "Thanks, Jack."
Jack didn't have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it
back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then
headed into the desert with Sammy following.
Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through
e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting
every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a
natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up
acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to
keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were
nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a
few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle
them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few
wild rumors and storied followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the
newspapers or the public in general.
When they finished the tour of countries, Jack suggested that they try some
undersea diving. They did. And spelunking. They did that too. Sammy finally
drew the line at visiting Antarctica. He'd come to realize that Jack was
stalling. After talking to his Dad about it over e-mail, he figured out that
Jack probably didn't want to have to kill Nate. Nate told Sammy that humans
could be squeamish about killing friends and acquaintances.
So, Sammy eventually put his tail down (as he didn't have a foot) and told
Jack that it was time - he was ready to go back and take up his duties from
his dad. Jack, delayed it a little more by insisting that they go back to
Japan and buy an appropriate sword. He even stretched it a little more by
getting lessons in how to use the sword. But, eventually, he'd learned as
much as he was likely to without dedicating his life to it, and was
definitely competent enough to take the head off of a snake. It was time to
head back and see Nate.
When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he
and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up
Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert.
When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those
years ago when he'd met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn't really feel like
walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he'd forgotten to
figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They'd either
have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark.
As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his
resolve, he decided that he'd go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was
only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks
afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they
drove, and then they could get it over tonight.
Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of
sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out
into the desert.
Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been
nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds,
revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to
the dunes, Jack didn't really think about it, he just downshifted and headed
up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he'd
decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing
traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to
keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the
other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and
laughing at Jack's driving.
As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw
that this was the final dune - the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate,
waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he'd gone a little too far. The RV
started slipping down the other side.
Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn't have enough traction. He pumped
the brakes - no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and
faster.
Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were
heading for the lever. He looked down - the RV was directly on course for
it. If Jack didn't do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end
humanity.
Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn't
working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second,
Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the
lever - he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit
the lever - he wouldn't have time to stop, but he should be able to steer
away.
Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a
little bit - every little bit would help. He'd have to time his turn just
right.
The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the
sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that
they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something
else that he hadn't seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn't wrapped
around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the
stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of
the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV
was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the
sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the
lever to the other side.
Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the
lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy
realized the same thing.
Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone.
Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER," he ran over the snake.
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“Props to the man!.. He stuck that landing with ease!”
I'm not gonna tell this guy how to ski but you'd think if you were going to drop a 255 foot cliff you'd but a brain bucket on...
TheNorthFace715 A slight tap on the cliff on the way down?
+Andrew Campbell (RadicalFaction)
A slight tap would be enough to break his neck, regardless of the helmet.
Akilroth234 The whole "he'd die with one on anyway" excuse is lame. Maybe he would but the helmet reduces risk even slightly, which would be good enough for me... If I was gonna do this I'd take all the protection I could get.
+Andrew Campbell (RadicalFaction) The armor of Jesus Christ is the only helmet he needs.
+Rectum Beads helmet might make him more top heavy
As a professional skier, the most important thing is not to hurt your knees. That's why he went for the head-first jump.
Your knees?! what about your neck and spinal cord???
diegovski, 😆
@@mikethompson2007 The head has better penetration. Sure, you could take off your skis and jump, but everyone would say that was stupid and didn't count.
Wouldn't be a ski jump record then would it🤔🤔🤔
@@Frisbieinstein "..everyone would say that was stupid.." ... Do you see the irony?
imagine someone following his tracks like "Ooh, a jump wooOOAHHHHH AHHHHHHH"
Sure buddy
They might have actually landed it which is more than he did. Of course not hitting with the skis first when your vector was vertical may have saved his spine. His friends must have something against him to not talk some sense into him not to do it.
@@mikemorris3421 you seem smart. What’s a vector
@@JackHandelman A force in a direction, in this case an accelerating 200lb moron going straight down.
@@mikemorris3421 😂 thanks. Rip Jamie Pierre. He died in an avalanche
Not sure that's what they mean by 'it's not counted unless you stick the landing'
I don't understand how this can be a record? Maybe a record for longest fall straight to your back. Surprised this dude is still alive, he was folded in half!
sadly he is not still alive. Jamie Pierre died in an avalanche in 2011
jellybean8080 whaat the fuck. that's scary as hell
jellybean8080 probablly trying another idiotic stunt
HeartofaSamurai or skiing because its what he loved
+HeartofaSamurai LOL
"He's got a wife and kids to think about" after he jumps off 255 foot cliff... yeah, not sure they're at the forefront of his mind tbh
Yeah but he did mention god! What a wanker.
He ended up dying in 2011 in an avalanche.
Rather in his feet after he landed on his head
he dyed couple years later in an avalanche while snowboarding
@@skunkworksu7638 yeah, only idiots worship JESUS, right? 🙄
No helmet like a genius.
Komodox more then a cap
Justin Sabbatini lol
69 likes m8 😘
+Justin Sabbatini There´s no difference at that level of speed if you wear one or not ;)
+Justin Sabbatini Natural selection buddy.
This video prooves:
The energy drink is not giving you wings.
I know a guy who fell arse backwards off a cliff here in Australia at least 300 meters. No record for him. He should have strapped some ski's to his feet and claimed a World Record.
SPOOKSTR If he didn't have skis on, maybe he could apply for a "Highest Parkour Jump" world record?
+SPOOKSTR fell backwards on a 300 meter fall. Hes not still alive then
+SpacePotato hahahaaa...that's funny as hell bro
+SPOOKSTR do you even have 300 m cliffs in Australia?
+Bast_yy We have it all here in the land of Oz.
The funniest thing about this video is that it was made by a channel called Teton Gravity Research
So true
Wanna buy a hat?
💀💀💀💀
I think Jamie Pierre can safely say gravity exists. Glad he was around to demonstrate its effects for us. Who ever knew eh?
$$$$$
Not sure what this has to do with skiing. The guy could have just jumped off the cliff barefoot and received the same result. The fact that he was wearing skis was irrelevant. I know the guy was a great skier, but it doesn't take much skill to fall off a mountain and land on your head. Not much of an accomplishment either, just a fluke that he didn't bite the bullet on this one.
+Beastly Hax this video was uploaded in 2013 though
+Beastly Has Probably took the same level precautions on his final that he did here. Natural selection.
+Fishie Jones This video could've been from 2011 but uploaded in 2013
Kilrain Point of the skies were that he was meant to land it and keep skiing.
Seems pretty damn dumb to me... if you do something extreme like this... better get it right before you try It !
Obviously he needed a lot more of speed... to be able, to hold his posing, during the long fall through the air !
If he would have managed to made it with actually landing it and driving away, it would have been truly epIc !
So inspiring, this gives me hope that I can do it too!
Perfect control and amazing skill, no one said.
This guy: I kinda feel like skiing today!!
This guys wife: Sounds great honey!!
Him skiing:
I can appreciate a good ski jump, but this is not a jump, it's a fall. This is jackass on skis.
Yup.
"Look at me! I somewhat managed to end up relatively unharmed from an idiotic, extremely dangerous jackass stunt! I am the mostest greatest ski jumper of all the times !!!!1!!1!! OMG!" ... Yeah, right , moron, I admire and respect you exactly the same way as I admire and respect someone going down a steep hill in a grocery cart. What you did can only be described by one word: stupid. The fact that you prayed to some bullshit god before your "jump" only proves my point.
Drop. Doesn't even qualify as a successful fall. World Recodr? Not according to guiness. Johan Remen Evensen 2011 Suckas. Different catagory and they might actually accept this crazy crazy man in.
He died in 2011.
Nice one. Now who is the jackass?
MikesTech if he died from doing this kind of stunt he knew the risks....and honestly he's a jackass for attempting it.
now i can enjoy making powder turns. give me chills. congratulations
He literally flew off a cliff and landed on his head
He was meaning to land on his feet but something went wrong and he rotated onto his head
@@Matrix7_ No he wasn't. He was trying to land on his back because landing on your feet from that kind of height can crush your legs easily.
@@Matrix7_ yeah if you land on your skis on a jump of this size you mess up everything
I used to get the TGR itch working as a copy/mailroom boy when I was 17. I'm so thankful for the inspiration from all the folks in your videos. I am pretty sure I taught snowboarding every day for an entire season, mentioning TGR to every person. Go big! I love the fluffy cliffs and boulders!! Take care!
another thing that I love is how he said he just wanted to hold that record for just a day like there's another person right behind him ready to do the same thing but from a higher altitude
I used to see such tricks accompanied by a laughter rather than epic music.
Teton Gravity Research - "Honestly, we thought he might fall UP this time"
Underrated comment 😂
Lmfao
Looks more like: "World Record Ski Suicide Attempt - 255 Foot Cliff"
Cameraman after Jamie jumps: "tell me when to record"
People : rides down a green slope with 3 helmets
Jamie pierre : 255 feet cliff? Why sould I wear a helmet ?
A helmet would do nothing if he hit a rock landing like that.
Most people: You can either be super rich or talented to be famous
Jamie Pierre: or I could just jump off a cliff
"now i can enjoy making powder turns"
your damn right.
His damn right??
Your damn right, not his. Can't you read? :D
you're
Alright. For real. How badly did that hurt landing on your head? How long until you could move again?
this video is so inaccurate, the jump was 254 feet not 255.
Diego Barragan unwatchable
Wver heard off estimating or reasonable blah blah blah smart head
This is for pussies 254 feet ain't nothing if this would've been 255 then it would be really serious.
Basicly 420-165 dumbass
« I’m alive guys but before we get into that, let’s talk about my favorite game, Raid Shadow legends »
Bro I'm over here dying 🤣😭💀😂😩
I don’t think this remotely qualifies as a ski jump. It’s just “free fall from the edge of a cliff”. He doesn’t even land on his feet. 🙄
It’s literally higher then you could survive from if you landed on your feet, your neck would break
@@siroccupy6041 but landing on your head is somehow better than this?
belfonzus yes he more lands on his shoulders and then he spreads his arms to slow his fall in the snow, essentially using the snow as a cushion. If he landed on his feet he would have penetrated the snow instantly and broken his neck and spine
Hug Cirici Hey, show some respect, Jamie Pierre was one of the most influential pioneers of skiing history, and he died in an avalanche recently. Like the other people who have replied have said, if he were to land the drop he would have broken his legs and back from the fall, he was trying to land on his back to maximize surface area and beak his fall but over rotated. You obviously don’t know anything about skiing and should think before disrespecting the entire skiing community with your ignorance.
@@carsonfromstatefarm4248 damn straight
It's amazing that didn't knock the wind out of him, or break his back!
"World Record Ski -Jump- Fall - 255 Foot Cliff" There, fixed it.
Mom: if everyone was jumping off a cliff would you
This guy: Yes
Lol this actually made me laugh out loud 🤣
“...the helmet is wearing you for protection...” - Seinfeld
His baIIs are ginormous
what a legend
You don’t find these videos, these videos find you...
Fun Fact: “It is impossible to die from a fall if you land in snow.”-Neil Degrasse Tyson.
Lets try packed snow. That will work.
Precious Tritium incorrect
WhiteChocolate Bear lol you’re twisted
"World Record Ski Jump - 255 Foot Cliff"
..is a very long way from..
"Very high fall with ski equipment - 255 Foot Cliff"
“Looks like he’s going to try to land on his head”
“That’s a bold strategy Cotton let’s see if it pays off”
he didn't land it so the only record he achieved is a 200 foot face smash record.
he would've broken his legs if he landed it...
merk alert tv have you read any of the other comments on this video
If he would have landed it he'd break his legs, he was supossed to land on his back but he over rotated.
Problem is that he didn`t land on his feet.
Here... hold my beer -.-
Hold my feet, watch my beer
hold my skis, watch this
+Phi lip Tell the pro ski world it was a fail, and you will end up buried in a snow pile yourself....and oh, btw, he can't redo it....he's dead jackass.
He died in November 2011....regular skiing...an avalanche.
*****
Yes, really.
I am not a skier but I think that this in not a jump but more like a freaking free fall without a parachute..
In my opinion it is only a jump when you can ski onward, this was a crash down or a jump - whatever you call it with ski's on....not a jump...
"now i can retire"
Retire from what, gravity?
"If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?"
"Actually Mom, I'm the friend who jumped."
In 2008 Fred Syversen beat this record by surviving a 351-foot cliff, albeit unintentionally.
On November 13, 2011,[3] Jamie Pierre was hiking at Snowbird Resort in Utah to snowboard some early season snow. The resort was not open and no avalanche control had been done. He triggered an avalanche that rolled him over rocks for 800 feet. According to The New York Times, "He came to a stop partly buried and died of trauma".
Jon S Thanks for the update.
Sad
I wanted to meet him
It doesn’t count if he died bruh. If that were the case the Columbia astronauts would have the record for the highest fall.
Proof that he WAS, if not a total idiot, at least needlessly reckless.
Should be "World Record for falling off a cliff while wearing skis"
Damnit natural selection!!
+Omegasix Died 4 years ago in an avalanche. Natural selection was a bit late but it caught up to him.
This shouldnt be getting likes...
people are evil.
You win. Best comment ever LOL
faithfreedom.org/challenge.htm
Jamie, I was talking to Jesus Christ the other day and he said he wants you to jump off the Empire State Building. Good luck bro!
are you stupid JP been dead for,like, 10 years.
Disclaimer: No living braincells were hurt in the making of this video
Aim for the bushes?
let the haters hate. he was known for jumping off big shit all the time. i heard he was kicked out of snowbird for hitting that big one back in mineral basin? he still deserves respect in my book. REST IN PEACE
he died in an avalanche in little cotton wood canyon, utah.
dave wuest thank you. half these dudes are idiots who don't even know, and I snowboard.
respect the mans fucking life. no hope for the human race. or how about LOOK IT UP
SuperGreenough why even be here then...
Because I expected a jump, not a fall. This is not an achievement, he fell off something high onto something soft. This took no skill, merely stupidity. If you want to respect him, whatever, don't expect others to do so just because the man is dead
“I just wanted the record, even if, it was just for one day”....DUDE - I think that’s a given!
This doesn't prove he's a great skier... I could do that.. It proves he has big balls.
nvm wrong vid, this is no longer the record jump
It proves also either small IQ or suisidal mentality.
Watch Rage Films' Booter Crunk
cace83 I'd say neither, it's daredevil mentality. They don't want to die but they accept that death is a possibility and do not fear it. To do what no man has done before is a truly amazing thing to accomplish and is worth the risk.
metalhead5816 Many men have jumped off cliffs and hit the deck like a fucking dart.... amazing my arse
To the many skiers here, as well as other outdoor enthusiasts, please explain to me why this is regarded as a Successful, Record Breaking SKI jump??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have been under a strong impression that for any kind of jump to be counted, one must LAND successfully. And when using an instrument while making that jump, one is to continue to do so as they land.... Examples: mountain biking, motorcycle jumps, ice skaters, hurdlers, snowboarders, windsurfers, etc. Oh...and that one you see so much of during winter Olympics?....Ski Jumping! Yeah- that's the one!
Don't get me wrong...props for balls and not dying, for sure!
Questionable Points: (1) Is using the skies to reach an edge of a mountain to successfully stand there without tumbling on down considered a part of ski jumping? (I vote Yes)
(#2) Then is it also considered to be a ski jump, when the jumper simply wanted to wear his reliably warm/dry ski boots w/ skies during his jump (#3) When (out of obvious convenience) the skies are suitably implemented, to travel from the free-fall landing zone, though only Long After the jumper has Landed on their back? (#4) Is it really considered a record for ski jumping if jump was UNQUESTIONABLY NOT DONE THROUGH THE USE OF THE SKIES & certainly not by Landing ON the Skies, followed by coming to a controlled stop?
These factors do not resignate as a record ski jump to me. They would however qualify as an insane 'basic' jump...but would it be the highest on record? ....now I gotta find that out.
It’s probably officially labeled as a cliff drop. Although there have been higher accidental ones so maybe it has to be on purpose
This is great! Wish I had the courage. And for all those commenters complaining about his landing and lack of a helmet, hey, he succeeded! He skied away unassisted after a 225ft. cliff jump.
I agree. I think my limit would be around Corbets at Jackson and Palmyra at Telluride, and I am a very experienced skier (40+ days every season). This guy is being a freaking legend.
that seemed more of an uncontrolled fall than a jump to me. Still epic
Not epic. Spectacular dumb.
Rip jamie he died at snowbird a few years ago :(
I feel bad for his family but......cmon man, throwing yourself off cliffs and riding recklessly is not the way to take care of your family. Just saying
INCREDIBLE GUTS but the odds are the odds
Seems more like surviving a voluntary fall off a cliff rather than a huge ski jump.
Definitely one of the craziest things that I've ever seen!