I've been in this "fight for my spouse" situation for over a year now. What I can tell you is that by now I'm tired of constantly working on myself, being top notch in every single way and still not being good enough. If they want to stray, no amount of that is going to stop them. Save your time, save your heartache and move on. In my case my constant work on myself led to mental and emotional exhaustion, bordering on breakdown, always walking on eggshells and always being perfect and convenient. At the same time I cannot say that the other party is the "pinnacle of perfection" yet these efforts condition to expect diamond-grade behaviour on your part while asking for nothing in return. They learn nothing and start feeling like the "prize". It becomes a relationship equivalent of a road sweeper expecting a million dollar salary while not even turning up to work. Think of yourself. Take care of yourself, your energy and your life. Someone who wants to stray will have the same thoughts and urges years down the line. Let them leave while you're 30 and not when you're 50. Give yourself the luxury of living a pain-free life and building a healthy relationship while giving them the luxury of experiencing THEIR choices long-term.
my boyfriend just said that to me, and it took me awhile to understand what the hell he means by "i love you, but not in love with you" after i figured it means he lost attraction for me, i thanked him for being honest and i moved on, i don't need someone who depends on emotions coz love is a decision not feelings.
I'm one of those people... I want to just be alone. I just don't want to be in any relationship... been hurt so much. I'm so tired. Deep down. I'm just so tired. Mentally and emotionally exhausted.
omg same story here!!!!!!! how come they are so freaking blind??? i found out about my husband when i went thru a box he had in the safer with all their love letter, he blames me for invading his privacy, coward!! and still says they were just friends because they never had sex! i want to punch his face everytime a think about it, God have mercy!!
Well, after some time apart. We got into marriage counseling. Things aren't perfect, but we are back under the same roof and truly enjoying each other again.
@@jillguiffre6805 so happy for you.. my wife separeted from me on 4/1/2020 and now she wants a divorce and i losing my mind. She said she love me, but not inlove with me.
there is a reality that hits later on , that reality is, oh, crap, what did I just do to a person that literally would have given their life for me. It gets worse when the person they fell in love with decides that their current spouse or someone else is delivering the mail better
Being alone from a man's point of view is better than going around and around for nothing. I'm one of them who would rather just be by myself rather than be beaten down to the point where I don't recognise myself anymore.
My husband said this to me last night. I'm crushed but I know I can't live up to expectations. I'll constantly be working on myself and thinking I'm never good enough. I just need to let go.
Holy crap, that first part about "Love but not in love, as well as the I just want to be alone..." exactly what my wife said to me, before she left 3 months ago. Now she's sending me divorce papers. We both loved what we had, but she's adamant about the divorce. How do you fix or come back from that? My biggest regret was not the wrong actions, but the lack of them. I stopped dating my wife, and bringing her flowers. I realized the mistakes I made, but again... how do you come back from that when they've moved out, and already at this phase? I'm personally in for the work. She's my world and best friend.
@@marquisgowdy2027 Thanks. I thought I was making progress and landed a date with her a week ago, but she cancelled it the day of and decided that we shouldn't communicate anymore. I wish you the best of luck Marquis. Its painful road and a delicate one at that.
@Michele Marie I've come to learn it has nothing to do with that at all. She actually left, because she was going through some mental issues and needed to be on her own to deal with them, but thanks for chiming in there, chief.
@Michele Marie People do things for a variety of reasons. For example, I came to this program to learn about what I could do to be a better husband and partner. If not with my wife, then for future relationships. Why are you here? (Aside from kicking someone when they're down)
I married my best friend, I like him, I respect him and I love him and I don't think being in love with him would make a difference. When we first married we were in love with each other but over the years it's grown beyond that. The feeling of being in love only lasts for the first few years when you get married. Then the love deepens and changes when you are soulmates. We have now been together for over 25 years and I can't think of a time when I thought "I should do this or that" I always think "we should do this or that". I am an extension of him and he is an extension of me. That being in love is a tool to allow a couple to bond. It's not a feeling that is necessary throughout your life with you spouse. That's my take on life! Also! We say "I love you" about 10 times a day! Like saying see ya later!
I agree with much that you have said but…..As a couple you bond, you share and you grow to understand each others strengths and weaknesses. Then somewhere down the line one Spouse gets bored and decides that they want excitement . They destroy a family, a future and their past. Once it is broken a marriage cannot be fixed. The hurt is too much and the trust is gone
My wife spent our 5 year anniversary at a party. She told me she had kissed another guy a week prior and she had thought about going all the way with him but didn't. Now she wants a divorce. I'm destroyed right now. I'm a truck driver. So I'm not home through the week. She found her attention from someone else. Idk what to do we have 3 kids
My wife and I are having some issues. For reasons related to us and things outside of that. She was acting more distant than she had with me just a month before. When I got her to talk I told that I was in love with her. She said that she has never believed in romantic love. And it devastated me. It put me in a state of limerence over her, which is funny because we have been together for over 25 years. Once I knew what limerence was I believe that she has never experienced this state of ok intense infatuation. But having been I'm that weird early love manic state has gotten me to be a more attentive partner and more considerate. More affectionate and more tender. It has gotten me to reflect on myself and on her and our relationship and marriage. I think im blessed to have such a strong feeling for my wife rekindled after 25 plus years rather than find those feeling sparked by another woman. We need to see counseling but I feel we are a lot closer and more loving that before. But hearing my wife say that she didn't believe in romantic love was the hardest thing I have ever had to confront.
A month ago my husband told me I'm not in love with you but have love for you and left me. 35 yrs together 29 married. I want to save our marriage but he says he's done. I am devastated 😥. He's been my whole life practically. Also found out he's cheating
Mi wife told mi this yeh mon ! I tried every ting ta fix it we both loved god and then all of sudden she said she wanted ta have some space we separated then I was hit with divorce papers its been 3years now but I realize that she is rebellious so ill let god deal with her not me
My ex used to tell me, be grateful I’m still with you 😂. Really? I left him, packed his stuff cause I didn’t really needed him. He was just another statue in my house.
Oh, i hate that.... when your in a relationship and there is that hidden element where they think they are doing you a favor to date you... i mostly got that from dating good looking women. It will occur when they have superior wealth, education or looks. And dont be fooled, Even the ones with the good attitude still have that thought hidden deep within.... they think that they are better than you. So what did i do about it? I went on the dating sites and ignored all the better looking women or women with top jobs, focused on the women who were more at my same level of average looks and career.... The stupid advice on dating is to not 'settle' ... RUBBISH!! total absolute RUBBISH.... lowering my standards was the best thing i ever did..... it was like a breath of fresh air! The difference was amazing, *mutual respect*.... do not underestimate its value!
@@mystikmind2005 good tips, but here's my question.. what do you do when they want you more than you want them.. i havent craved or just completely wanted a woman since my last relationship.. and now i dont crave or badly want any woman.. sure date and or deal with them.. but i havent met one since then, that absolutely had to have or wanted to chase..
@@juanmadera5180 I'm in the same boat. I've been trying so hard and she's done. Won't even give me a chance. Don't know what to do. I love her so much.
@@scottbunning7377 all i can tell you is hang in there bro.. thats what im doing is a shame men like us fighting for our wifes. When there are men out here divorcing their wifes and wifes fighting for their husbands. I wish my wife would fight for me or with me to save our marriage.
@@juanmadera5180 100% true. I'm not giving up. I'm going to try until the end. At least if and when it fails I tried everything I can do. I'm trying now to find love in myself. I can't keep living in pain.
@@scottbunning7377 im doing the same but it hard when the love of your life isnt beside you. And you think about its the plans you two made togethers. Promise each other that will be together forever. And now you here. Its hard to find joy on things.
My ex said this to me then one week later hes living with his ex. Unforgivable in my eyes. 2 months later he tried to come back i told him i never wanna see him again. 2 years on I am stronger than ever. Well hes got dumped I gotta laugh
My husband loves me, but he told me that hes not in love with me bcz when it comes to his kids and mom, he will push me aside and give them what they want. Their happyness is worth more than mine. He practically would give his mom the keys to our house with out telling me and he would let his kids do whatever and he said that I need to stop having a problem with stuff.
I guess I am the very unlikely case. Which makes it seem impossible to save since there are not many people who have gone through this. They just want to be alone.
My husband told me the love you but not in love with you, and it wasnt heart wrenching as when he said I dont want to live with you. That one hurt. And he checked off almost all of the signs of if hes cheating. However, he keeps going back and forth on divorcing me. Hes 14 yrs older than me, and I feel hes going thru some crisis and has a notion of wut love should be (easy)... but any relationship will not be easy. I'm tired of wanting to make it work because he clearly doesnt want to do any of the work. Even when hes "in love" with me AGAIN(yes I said again). Took him a week to call the marriage counselor just to get information about a marriage retreat. He leave a voicemail and never followed up with it. And of course, that was after days of me reminding him to call... remember, this is during a time where hes in love n wants to make it work. I'm truly done with romantic relationships after this. I've always been unlucky in love.
In my relationship, I know there isn't someone else...she just doesn't want me anymore. She has never said the words, but I feel she has lost respect for me. I don't know why? I never cheat, I never hit her, I try to include her into hobbies, and show interest in hers. There is a disconnect, and I really want to fix it. We don't really open up about problems.
I'm sorry about what happened in your marriage with you and your wife you stated that she left you. You said you never cheated on her. You said you never physically abused her. So it must be her that has done something in the marriage God does not allow divorce or anything unless there was adultery. So if you have not done it I wanted to ask you a question have your wife committed adultery?? Have you asked her this. If not maybe pray to God about it for him to reveal whatever is in the dark comes to the light I'm not saying your wife has committed adultery I'm just asking . because she did not maybe you guys are just separated for whatever help that you need in your marriage and maybe you both need to go to counseling . on you can go to counseling first if she is willing to work on the marriage may God bless the both of you and you're .of your marriage
May I ask, how do you know the difference between loving and being in love? How do you know that we are not longer “in love” and not that the brain has become used to the hormones that act as a drug whenever we see that “special person” at the beginning of a relationship? What is the difference? How do we know it’s that we are not “in love” and not just that tiredness, responsibility, kids, work and ultimately routine has taken over? Thanks
Sonia Barahona I believe you are talking about the chemical release of oxytocin which is VERY real. And when you have that release and it goes away, it’s like a drug withdrawal. You may find yourself sick and depressed. I think being in love is that feeling that no one else can make you feel, that person is the first thought in the morning and the last at night. They are the person you want to share every thought, hope, desire with. They are the glue that holds you together, the bond that can’t be broken. Loving someone can be just a caring feeling you have for someone you have a history with and have some sort of commonality with like a child together. Or you think they are a great person but you just can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. My opinion.
Brown-Eyed Girl Thanks for your reply. I agree with some aspects specially the loving feeling towards someone whom you have a link but not so much about the being in love bit and here is why. When you first get together with someone, yes it can be like that however, once children get in the picture as a mum, that person who maybe you thought about when you woke up and last before going to bed is no longer “him” and it will never be again. You still want to share and have a future together but things are not the same, the post has officially been moved if you like, never to return. From then on, you’ll never feel that your partner is “the apple of your eyes” again......children, your children have taken over that spot and they are whom your first and last think of each day as it starts and ends. This is not to mention that as time goes by, the “love” changes from a passionate love, to a caring love, to loyalty or even into comfort with what you already know “better the devil you know” kind of thing or even habit But does that mean you are no longer “in love”?
Brown-Eyed Girl Yeah, well how do you keep an oxytocin rush over a 20 plus year marriage? Husband just wants to be free to explore lust, freedom, drinking. I'm heartbroken.
What he doesn't go over is a narcissist discarding you for a new supply. He is trying to get you to keep submitting to the narcissist, feeding your trauma bond. The narcissistic partner will do this again to you.
Oh this scares me. It's 2 months and we r having a very hard time. We were hopeful that it would get better. 4 years seems very scary, I just hope we will be able to live each other back soon
My wife of 22 years hasn’t even told me this. She hasn’t told me much at all. Just that I’m “controlling and manipulative.” I can’t even mastermind my own life, let alone attempt to control hers. She’s always done whatever she wanted, and I’ve mostly done whatever I was told. The divorce is still going on, we don’t really talk. My little sons are broken-hearted, and so am I.
I had a lover for 11 years and in the tenth year. I think he stoped loving me. he told me this one day when we had a fight. he told me he didn't love me. I was hurt. and things in the relationship went bad. he ended up cheating on me and blamed me for all.. I confrontied him on the cheating and he admitted it. and he keep on doing. so I decided to end the relationship cuz I couldn't handle the hurt he was causing me. so I left.
I’m in a lot of pain due to my marriage of 32 years ending with my husband abandoning me a year ago. He has told me he’s doesn’t love me and is getting a divorce I never saw it coming he has blocked me from his social media so I deleted my page although it’s been over a year as he has not been in contact with me. I have not been able to understand why or what has happened just feeling discarded I’ve never cheated I really thought we would be able to work through our differences but he’s gone without even discussing/sharing or trying to make the marriage work. Just confused!!
Gabriel Gonzales you lasted long, I lasted 18 months with mines. He told me a week ago that the sun wasn’t bright anymore and I told him ok no problem . He kept emailing me for the next two dats, I guess out of guilt since I treated him like a king all the time . I ignored him till last Friday that I emailed him a quote telling him that I rather be alone than being his friend (he asked me to stay as friends) not on the mood to stay in the friend zone when I have feelings for him.
What if I think that I am married to a Narcissist? How could I ever save my marriage? He says he loves me, but is not "in Love with me". I am so hurt. I feel like I was hurt twice. Unhappy
Well he's told me time again that he doesn't love me wants a divorce hates me and everything about me been with him since I was 16 ..47 now and it's tough can't even talk to him but I'm loyal till the end but feel like I'm on a desert island on my own
Hey there Hank, we actually already filmed a video covering open marriage as the main topic. You can find that here: th-cam.com/video/7x7C6V918b0/w-d-xo.html
What about a sexless marriage. I have stood for more than 10 years. Now he is taking testosterone because I asked him to go. I don’t feel in love. I feel sad lost and going though depression. I just feel like every time. He did Wes’s gonna change he didn’t. He went back to NOT making love to me.. I want to believe that he will change this time. But my negative mind is going round and round. PLEASE HELP ME. Can I forgive can I believe him? Sex is the glue that holds marriage together. God has said that it is VERY important.
Have you tried different ideas sexually like maybe toys, porn, role play? Maybe the spark is gone for him. Maybe he has a sexual fetish that he worries you won’t be into. Many times with men they have some sort of fetish and they don’t see their wife approving. I’ve been through this and it’s worth looking into if you’re willing to be open about it. Just a thought.
Brown-Eyed Girl I am the one into fetish. He is not into that. We are seeing a sex therapist. The therapist has asked my husband to please apologize as many times as possible. The therapist wrote him a personal email to him. We are taking steps. God help us.
I can attest that indeed sex is the glue that gets you through the rough patches. Husband and I were in our mid40's not having sex but once a month and sometimes longer. He had ED. And my libido wasn't too high anymore anyway so I thought 'no big deal. We're getting older.' Always told him I was grateful for the times we did. Then when he turned 49 he had a mid-life crisis. Bought a harley. Started acting / doing / suggesting things a younger man might. Lost weight. I caught him obtaining services of AN ESCORT. He made up some thing about how it was just a spam text or something. I believed him because he acted very in love with me and gave me gifts. Then when he turned 50, he up and left. Wants a divorce. No counseling. With someone new that he had been scoping out or dating already. Threw his wedding ring away 3 days after he told me. I cannot believe---would NEVER have believed this person would do this to me. Five kids. Almost 22 years of marriage. One of the "reasons" he told me was that he didn't feel I wanted him. Though TBH it is probably just an excuse. ... Sex is extremely important.
Titanium Tiara sex is very important. It has hurt me so badly that he has not wanted me. I thought about leaving. But I don’t want o leave my marriage and my family I have 2 children, 14 and 7. I want to honor my commitment. We are seeing a sex therapist. I can say I am not in love because he killed the feeling. So now I pray it will be revived. I love him he is my best friend. God help me. I pray for breath of life in my marriage.
This what my wife told me was 1 of the hardest feeling I ever had. Now I'm working im not gonna give up on my wife we have 2 kids. I know I was never home cus of my job I was always working late not time for the family
My wife tells me that too, she said she love me but she is inlove with someone else, shes having an affair right now, we are still living together but she is planning to leave me soon, i love my wife so mch, im doing smart contact, and im not sure if its working sometimes,
The best way is let her go then cry a little or a lot and move on!!! Because this is her fault for not safeguarding the relationship and letting a third party come into the picture, it’s complete betrayal.
I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" anymore. He's an alcoholic and I was at him about it. He started an affair with a much younger woman a year before. I found out and threw him out. He moved in with her and hasn't stopped since. I've done all the things you mentioned. He hasn't stopped drinking, still with her but WON'T officially end the marriage. Won't respond to anything. Not sure what to do next.
My husband tells me that because I am fat and we always have issues with my weight..that I should be size 2...25 yrs and I have no respect and superficiality
I’ve been through this and my husband of 22 yrs left me and my kids for 6 months for a pothead whore. He now wants to reconcile and I know what my faults were but now that he’s had his affair I don’t love or respect him as a wife should.
My husband was soo unfaithful in the beginning of our marriage lasted over ten years we have four beautiful kids one deceased, and inspite of the hurts I stayed because we had a close family knit. He never I'll treated me or the kids just the constant infidelity. Now I feel like I love him but am not inlove witg him, no matter how hard I try that kinda love is just no longer there. We've been married 26 years and it's just sad living with your husband and not feeling that love anymore.
Wife and I divorced 2 days ago she asked for it. She would still tell my friends she still love me but wanted out. We're done.... Are we?? Do I still have a chance??
Antonio Rodriguez there is always a chance but she left you. Do you really want her? To get her back means you have to be something your not at the moment. Growth change and becoming something different than you are now. 🙁 it won’t be fast but truthfully most people when they become better realize there value and what they have accomplished and then think why would I want that now. I am so much better than that
My wife says "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore." all the time. I think she hates me. I am a old man over 70 and my wife hasn't made love to since was about 45 years old. She has said I don't respect her. Plus in 1990 I grabbed her by her shoulder (like Spock) because I was really mad. She throws that up in my face every time she gets mad at me. I am handicapped from a stroke and heart failure and every since I got out of hospital 2010 and have said some hateful cuss words on occasion. It was in retaliation for bad put me down speech she said me.She said last night the stroke was my fault. I was asleep when I had the stroke. How can it be my fault!! I am starting hate her.
My wife has told me that she’s not in love with me and....she hates me quite a few times. I am finally leaving the house after trying over and over again and now that I’ve told her that I’m leaving and starting to look for a place of my own as I stay at my friends house. Now she tells me that it’s my fault for breaking up our family and leaving her and my kids. We’ve argued a lot lately, well she’s argued I hate arguing and only say a few things when arguing. Well now that I’m going to leave the house and find a place of my own she tells me what I said above. She has also said that she sees why people cheat and can see why so many people do cheat. Idk what to do I’m soo lost.
She’s been in love with someone else since 2018. Doesn’t have the decency to just be honest. A serial cheater throughout our twenty year marriage. Should’ve left her years ago. You think you know someone? Even after 20 years? You’d be amazed how evil, devious, cold and calculating someone can be to their “other half” who they know loved them so deeply. It’s Just evil. As is the Narcissist she’s in love with, who is himself married. Gonna leave her to it. I’ve suffered enough It’s my son I feel so sad for.
Is this the same when they say, "Love you no matter what." because that's what he tells me instead of being more personal with me. Yet, he's the one who made the decision to separate from me. I don't understand that phrase.
In my relationship our sex life has all the tell signs, we use to have great sex and be into each other but now he doesn’t even want sex or if he tries he can get it up for the beginning and then soon after it will come down, as if he just lost complete attraction towards me :( , and he is young so is not an age factor also very healthy and into fitness so I just know some one has stolen his heart from me and I just want a divorce because if that is the case then it’s his fault because I have been an amazing wife through out 7 years of our relationship.
Sorry to hear that! Here is another resource which explains limerence a bit more in depth. Hope this helps! www.marriagehelper.com/Understanding-Limerence-Podcast
Can you please share or make a video on what to do when the problem is first one - the spouse just wants to be alone as being hurt too many times - mentioned at the start of the video? Will the steps to be taken remain the same in that scenario too or will change?
@@Kidrobot016 still broken up I found out about another guy now that he slept with her and brushed her off now she texting me now I'm not interested now go chase him
I need advice ..Im really reluctant in being honest with my man...im very unhappy in the relationship...and in losing interest out of the stability in the relationship..he keeps on getting incarcerated putting me thru toxic inviorment...he was a very good man and bring me happiness..Im just getting sick of all this responsibility of being on my own...with a guy that I'm having second guesses about
I been through this ... I went with him through high school... then he fell 12 yrs ... I stayed by his side... we were in our thirties when he got out ... we were engaged for two years... and he cheated... ended up marrying the cheat ... had two kids ... It’s twenty years later... we always remained friends... I lost my husband five years ago... he is in a divorce process and he wants to be with me and he cries Bc of the way he hurt me ... we are dating again and I just turned 64
Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my ex back to me. He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️
24yr of marriage and two kids,i found hes call his ex wife, he started hiding his phone at work then got finger lock phone. we had a fight night before and next night he decide he going help some co workers sister who got into car wreck,i didn't even know this person ,he flew out and said me, I dont care what u think, u can think what u want too, next day he ask if I want divorce , I said to him idk what I want this point hes he wanted work it out, and he taking sister he be back at noon if that was ok, then I said u don't care what I think so do what u want to cause ur not going listen to me, he didn't show up until next day, I move ur bed room ,I don't sex with him any more, he caught txting this girl and my friend told hes was flirting with her at work,i told him,i wanted divorce, he has push me , he told me im ugly , hes never loved me he only married me to get me away from my mother and to give a life, I told him if that how he felt he didn't have save me it wasn't his job. he throws baby fits, wen ppl get into food he don't want u to have,he blame me for taking his stuff he has mis placed, call me a liar , so I figure fine ur going call me a liar , I will do so .then ,he ran off to nyc in middle of the night for class reunion , he never call me wen he was gone, now he treat me nice ,but wait for shoe drop again which ik it will. I want divorce, and freedom from him,
Wife said she doesnt love me, only for me to find an affair. I think ive used up all the mistakes I have that she got out of the house and is seeing the ap. Any help for a walkaway wife, desperately need advice. I love my family and daughter to death.
My Grandmother always said to my father, when he was having problems with my mother. "Focus on the children". My Dad gave us kids an amazing time! Even if it was just kicking a ball or going for a short walk with him. We were loved by him and turned into strong people and he was very good to my mother despite some of her (relationship deal-breaking) failings. Him being good to her meant she didn't become our problem as kids. Being A loving Dad may be your greatest legacy in life even if your wife doesn't see it right now, if she has any decency she'll appreciate it eventually. Women love men who are the best father figure for their kids. Make that be you! Best of luck.
k bal thanks man, thats what everyone else is telling me, atleast now i know someone has been on the other side for me to believe it. Hats off to your dad, he’s an insipiration to all lbh’s or all dads in general.
@@testtestph Thanks for saying that about my Dad. He died in his early 70s from cancer and while I did thank him for all he did for us I never felt like that was enough. All I can do is pay it forward with my own kids and I hope you can benefit from his legacy too. He was an incredibly kind man and super strong in his restraint when he was angry. All the best.
Hi Dr. Beam. What if it’s the first reason why she doesn’t love me anymore? She just believe that she could be happy being on her own. Is it possible to get her back or change to save the marriage? You said that it just mean for other reason if they do not love you anymore that they are looking for it somewhere else, but what if they are just thinking that they can be happy not in any relationship? This was not in the video in detail but I am not sure if my marriage can be saved if she feels this way. How to make her fall in love with me again. I have actually changed but even though she sees it, she said she doesn’t feel the same way towards me. I am trying my all, everything, she just means that much to me. Thank you.
What can I do when my spouse is the rare one you talked about where they have been hurt over and over by me? I am out of the house at his request and barley see the family and can't see a reconciliation in sight.
This article gives tips on how to save your marriage: www.marriagehelper.com/can_one_spouse_save_a_marriage.php Since you are wanting to work on saving your marriage, you may want to consider attending our Marriage 911 Workshop. Here is the link to an informational video about the workshop: your.marriagehelper.com/marriage-workshop
Hi am from India and I know u guys can literally help people looking for help in this matter however am from India n am looking for marriage helper like you please help me
My wife told me she fell out of love with me and isn't ready for a relationship anymore. Two days ago she popped back on a dating site. She says her career can take her anywhere in the world, but then why is she back to dating?
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I've been in this "fight for my spouse" situation for over a year now. What I can tell you is that by now I'm tired of constantly working on myself, being top notch in every single way and still not being good enough. If they want to stray, no amount of that is going to stop them. Save your time, save your heartache and move on. In my case my constant work on myself led to mental and emotional exhaustion, bordering on breakdown, always walking on eggshells and always being perfect and convenient. At the same time I cannot say that the other party is the "pinnacle of perfection" yet these efforts condition to expect diamond-grade behaviour on your part while asking for nothing in return. They learn nothing and start feeling like the "prize". It becomes a relationship equivalent of a road sweeper expecting a million dollar salary while not even turning up to work. Think of yourself. Take care of yourself, your energy and your life. Someone who wants to stray will have the same thoughts and urges years down the line. Let them leave while you're 30 and not when you're 50. Give yourself the luxury of living a pain-free life and building a healthy relationship while giving them the luxury of experiencing THEIR choices long-term.
I totally understand you. I felt like I was on probation 24/7 for years
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean
I can connect you to someone who helped me attract my ex partner back to me after separation
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my boyfriend just said that to me, and it took me awhile to understand what the hell he means by "i love you, but not in love with you" after i figured it means he lost attraction for me, i thanked him for being honest and i moved on, i don't need someone who depends on emotions coz love is a decision not feelings.
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Yes - love is a decision, you will never always feel in love with someone. Sometimes you might not even like them !
@@ThePossumone Exactly! Either your mature enough to know marriage isn’t a sprint but a marathon.
100% your right you CHOSE to love someone everyday its not a feeling that just comes and goes immature people or narcissist
This man is so well spoken & his words offer much wisdom! Glad I found this channel!
Agreed his very manner is calming ...I'm going through hell right now but I find his videos really help me.
BETA
I'm one of those people... I want to just be alone. I just don't want to be in any relationship... been hurt so much. I'm so tired. Deep down. I'm just so tired. Mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Was going to say this myself, but you've summed it up - I'll just say "same."
@@moonflick Hang in there.
@@boredpandacafe You too :)
Lil. M god is the answer look to him
Same
I have told this for 15 years. If they tell you this and never show affection, run. You will waste what should have been the best years of your life!
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Love is not a feeling!! Is act of good will, towards the other person!! no matter what!!
Man, you hit every point. I did the app on phone. Instead of him dealing with why he cheated, I was villain for invading privacy
omg same story here!!!!!!! how come they are so freaking blind??? i found out about my husband when i went thru a box he had in the safer with all their love letter, he blames me for invading his privacy, coward!! and still says they were just friends because they never had sex! i want to punch his face everytime a think about it, God have mercy!!
Katie Anderson who has letters now days :& lol!
@@mariango7581 right?! ridiculous!
My husband of 40 years just told me he is not in love with me and not happy and moved back in with his parents. I am dying
My husband just told me this. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore." I'm pretty much destroyed.
How are you now?
Happened to me yesterday at 2:30
Well, after some time apart. We got into marriage counseling. Things aren't perfect, but we are back under the same roof and truly enjoying each other again.
@@jillguiffre6805 so happy for you.. my wife separeted from me on 4/1/2020 and now she wants a divorce and i losing my mind. She said she love me, but not inlove with me.
@@juanmadera5180 It is one of the most heart-wrenching things to hear. Sending all my love to you during this difficult time.
there is a reality that hits later on , that reality is, oh, crap, what did I just do to a person that literally would have given their life for me. It gets worse when the person they fell in love with decides that their current spouse or someone else is delivering the mail better
Being alone from a man's point of view is better than going around and around for nothing. I'm one of them who would rather just be by myself rather than be beaten down to the point where I don't recognise myself anymore.
@@DVTOM do you think women don't want this too? Lol
My husband of almost a year just said this to me. I am devastated. I am pregnant with our first child and this is killing me
Thank you i've experienced it all but watching this give me a better understanding of what was happening. Your spot on👍
My husband said this to me last night. I'm crushed but I know I can't live up to expectations. I'll constantly be working on myself and thinking I'm never good enough. I just need to let go.
Men are simple we like emotional and physical connection when was the last te you touched h before your seperation out of the blue
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Holy crap this summed up exactly what I feel; minus the affair part.
Holy crap, that first part about "Love but not in love, as well as the I just want to be alone..." exactly what my wife said to me, before she left 3 months ago. Now she's sending me divorce papers. We both loved what we had, but she's adamant about the divorce. How do you fix or come back from that? My biggest regret was not the wrong actions, but the lack of them. I stopped dating my wife, and bringing her flowers. I realized the mistakes I made, but again... how do you come back from that when they've moved out, and already at this phase? I'm personally in for the work. She's my world and best friend.
Naviral I fell bad for you I’m going thru this now
@@marquisgowdy2027 Thanks. I thought I was making progress and landed a date with her a week ago, but she cancelled it the day of and decided that we shouldn't communicate anymore. I wish you the best of luck Marquis. Its painful road and a delicate one at that.
Naviral we need to talk over the phone it would be good for our mental
@Michele Marie I've come to learn it has nothing to do with that at all. She actually left, because she was going through some mental issues and needed to be on her own to deal with them, but thanks for chiming in there, chief.
@Michele Marie People do things for a variety of reasons. For example, I came to this program to learn about what I could do to be a better husband and partner. If not with my wife, then for future relationships. Why are you here? (Aside from kicking someone when they're down)
I married my best friend, I like him, I respect him and I love him and I don't think being in love with him would make a difference. When we first married we were in love with each other but over the years it's grown beyond that. The feeling of being in love only lasts for the first few years when you get married. Then the love deepens and changes when you are soulmates. We have now been together for over 25 years and I can't think of a time when I thought "I should do this or that" I always think "we should do this or that". I am an extension of him and he is an extension of me. That being in love is a tool to allow a couple to bond. It's not a feeling that is necessary throughout your life with you spouse. That's my take on life! Also! We say "I love you" about 10 times a day! Like saying see ya later!
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I agree with much that you have said but…..As a couple you bond, you share and you grow to understand each others strengths and weaknesses. Then somewhere down the line one Spouse gets bored and decides that they want excitement . They destroy a family, a future and their past. Once it is broken a marriage cannot be fixed. The hurt is too much and the trust is gone
I can't even find a boyfriend who doesn't cheat, let alone make it to the altar!
My husband just told me this. I feel crushed.
My wife spent our 5 year anniversary at a party. She told me she had kissed another guy a week prior and she had thought about going all the way with him but didn't. Now she wants a divorce. I'm destroyed right now. I'm a truck driver. So I'm not home through the week. She found her attention from someone else. Idk what to do we have 3 kids
Sorry to hear man. What happened?
My wife and I are having some issues. For reasons related to us and things outside of that. She was acting more distant than she had with me just a month before. When I got her to talk I told that I was in love with her. She said that she has never believed in romantic love. And it devastated me. It put me in a state of limerence over her, which is funny because we have been together for over 25 years. Once I knew what limerence was I believe that she has never experienced this state of ok intense infatuation. But having been I'm that weird early love manic state has gotten me to be a more attentive partner and more considerate. More affectionate and more tender. It has gotten me to reflect on myself and on her and our relationship and marriage. I think im blessed to have such a strong feeling for my wife rekindled after 25 plus years rather than find those feeling sparked by another woman. We need to see counseling but I feel we are a lot closer and more loving that before. But hearing my wife say that she didn't believe in romantic love was the hardest thing I have ever had to confront.
A month ago my husband told me I'm not in love with you but have love for you and left me. 35 yrs together 29 married. I want to save our marriage but he says he's done. I am devastated 😥. He's been my whole life practically. Also found out he's cheating
Hello,hope is not lost yet
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Mi wife told mi this yeh mon ! I tried every ting ta fix it we both loved god and then all of sudden she said she wanted ta have some space we separated then I was hit with divorce papers its been 3years now but I realize that she is rebellious so ill let god deal with her not me
All you said is exactly what happened to me ...exactly...
My ex used to tell me, be grateful I’m still with you 😂. Really? I left him, packed his stuff cause I didn’t really needed him. He was just another statue in my house.
Oh, i hate that.... when your in a relationship and there is that hidden element where they think they are doing you a favor to date you... i mostly got that from dating good looking women. It will occur when they have superior wealth, education or looks. And dont be fooled, Even the ones with the good attitude still have that thought hidden deep within.... they think that they are better than you.
So what did i do about it? I went on the dating sites and ignored all the better looking women or women with top jobs, focused on the women who were more at my same level of average looks and career.... The stupid advice on dating is to not 'settle' ... RUBBISH!! total absolute RUBBISH.... lowering my standards was the best thing i ever did..... it was like a breath of fresh air! The difference was amazing, *mutual respect*.... do not underestimate its value!
@@mystikmind2005 good tips, but here's my question.. what do you do when they want you more than you want them.. i havent craved or just completely wanted a woman since my last relationship.. and now i dont crave or badly want any woman.. sure date and or deal with them.. but i havent met one since then, that absolutely had to have or wanted to chase..
if you thought so little of the relationship its good that you left. It should hurt to have a huge loss
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But why was he living in your house?
My wife just told me this. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore.
Damn brother me too how long you been going through this.. my wife doesnt even want to work on the marriage
@@juanmadera5180
I'm in the same boat. I've been trying so hard and she's done. Won't even give me a chance. Don't know what to do. I love her so much.
@@scottbunning7377 all i can tell you is hang in there bro.. thats what im doing is a shame men like us fighting for our wifes. When there are men out here divorcing their wifes and wifes fighting for their husbands. I wish my wife would fight for me or with me to save our marriage.
@@juanmadera5180
100% true. I'm not giving up. I'm going to try until the end. At least if and when it fails I tried everything I can do. I'm trying now to find love in myself. I can't keep living in pain.
@@scottbunning7377 im doing the same but it hard when the love of your life isnt beside you. And you think about its the plans you two made togethers. Promise each other that will be together forever. And now you here. Its hard to find joy on things.
My ex said this to me then one week later hes living with his ex. Unforgivable in my eyes. 2 months later he tried to come back i told him i never wanna see him again. 2 years on I am stronger than ever. Well hes got dumped I gotta laugh
My husband loves me, but he told me that hes not in love with me bcz when it comes to his kids and mom, he will push me aside and give them what they want. Their happyness is worth more than mine. He practically would give his mom the keys to our house with out telling me and he would let his kids do whatever and he said that I need to stop having a problem with stuff.
My wife said that to me and I’m crushed
I guess I am the very unlikely case. Which makes it seem impossible to save since there are not many people who have gone through this. They just want to be alone.
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Never trust anyone . if you do not know yourself then you can not trust yourself.
Thanks for being uncut and intelligent
My husband told me the love you but not in love with you, and it wasnt heart wrenching as when he said I dont want to live with you. That one hurt. And he checked off almost all of the signs of if hes cheating. However, he keeps going back and forth on divorcing me. Hes 14 yrs older than me, and I feel hes going thru some crisis and has a notion of wut love should be (easy)... but any relationship will not be easy. I'm tired of wanting to make it work because he clearly doesnt want to do any of the work. Even when hes "in love" with me AGAIN(yes I said again). Took him a week to call the marriage counselor just to get information about a marriage retreat. He leave a voicemail and never followed up with it. And of course, that was after days of me reminding him to call... remember, this is during a time where hes in love n wants to make it work. I'm truly done with romantic relationships after this. I've always been unlucky in love.
I’m 14y older,but I have had the ILYB from my younger wife,she says she isn’t attracted to be because she thinks of me as a brother/Father
You right on point with first example
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I prefer using FB. Is he on facebook, instagram, or LinkedIn.
How do you fix the first problem with her wanting to be alone?
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Hello, you can still get her to love you again
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I was in this situation but I finally got him back to me and we love each other..
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Being told "i am not in love with you" is better than being told " i am in love with you when you do not love that person at all
After 12 years of verbal abusive I said it!
U r so correct , he was constantly buying gifts to her and I never knew .
In my relationship, I know there isn't someone else...she just doesn't want me anymore. She has never said the words, but I feel she has lost respect for me. I don't know why? I never cheat, I never hit her, I try to include her into hobbies, and show interest in hers. There is a disconnect, and I really want to fix it. We don't really open up about problems.
Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages by Gary smalley? It sounds like their love fuel tank might be empty. Hope it helps
@@chrisduvall2011 Thanks, I'll check it out.
Did you get your wife back?
@@davicitomezita9205 Not yet, I am trying that love fuel tank thing..the guy above me suggested. It is helpful, but it takes time.
I'm sorry about what happened in your marriage with you and your wife you stated that she left you. You said you never cheated on her. You said you never physically abused her. So it must be her that has done something in the marriage God does not allow divorce or anything unless there was adultery. So if you have not done it I wanted to ask you a question have your wife committed adultery?? Have you asked her this. If not maybe pray to God about it for him to reveal whatever is in the dark comes to the light I'm not saying your wife has committed adultery I'm just asking . because she did not maybe you guys are just separated for whatever help that you need in your marriage and maybe you both need to go to counseling . on you can go to counseling first if she is willing to work on the marriage may God bless the both of you and you're .of your marriage
You are speaking the truth.Soo accurate
May I ask, how do you know the difference between loving and being in love? How do you know that we are not longer “in love” and not that the brain has become used to the hormones that act as a drug whenever we see that “special person” at the beginning of a relationship? What is the difference? How do we know it’s that we are not “in love” and not just that tiredness, responsibility, kids, work and ultimately routine has taken over? Thanks
Sonia Barahona I believe you are talking about the chemical release of oxytocin which is VERY real. And when you have that release and it goes away, it’s like a drug withdrawal. You may find yourself sick and depressed. I think being in love is that feeling that no one else can make you feel, that person is the first thought in the morning and the last at night. They are the person you want to share every thought, hope, desire with. They are the glue that holds you together, the bond that can’t be broken. Loving someone can be just a caring feeling you have for someone you have a history with and have some sort of commonality with like a child together. Or you think they are a great person but you just can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. My opinion.
Brown-Eyed Girl Thanks for your reply. I agree with some aspects specially the loving feeling towards someone whom you have a link but not so much about the being in love bit and here is why. When you first get together with someone, yes it can be like that however, once children get in the picture as a mum, that person who maybe you thought about when you woke up and last before going to bed is no longer “him” and it will never be again. You still want to share and have a future together but things are not the same, the post has officially been moved if you like, never to return. From then on, you’ll never feel that your partner is “the apple of your eyes” again......children, your children have taken over that spot and they are whom your first and last think of each day as it starts and ends. This is not to mention that as time goes by, the “love” changes from a passionate love, to a caring love, to loyalty or even into comfort with what you already know “better the devil you know” kind of thing or even habit But does that mean you are no longer “in love”?
Brown-Eyed Girl
Yeah, well how do you keep an oxytocin rush over a 20 plus year marriage? Husband just wants to be free to explore lust, freedom, drinking. I'm heartbroken.
What really makes love to be great and everlasting is the exchange of equal love and trust without those it will definitely failed woefully.
What he doesn't go over is a narcissist discarding you for a new supply. He is trying to get you to keep submitting to the narcissist, feeding your trauma bond. The narcissistic partner will do this again to you.
4 years trying to save my marriage. I'm just tired!! I told God I can't do this anymore!!!! :(
vania Freitas I’m sorry :( what’s your next move?
vania Freitas I hope god blesses you both with strength
I wiill ask for divorce!!😭 He doesn't love me anymore. I feel so lonely. 😭
vania Freitas
Don’t give up
Oh this scares me. It's 2 months and we r having a very hard time. We were hopeful that it would get better. 4 years seems very scary, I just hope we will be able to live each other back soon
This was helpful but I need to know the answer to the last question
Me too!!
My wife of 22 years hasn’t even told me this. She hasn’t told me much at all. Just that I’m “controlling and manipulative.” I can’t even mastermind my own life, let alone attempt to control hers. She’s always done whatever she wanted, and I’ve mostly done whatever I was told. The divorce is still going on, we don’t really talk. My little sons are broken-hearted, and so am I.
Wife Materialistic, yes, I do.
I had a lover for 11 years and in the tenth year. I think he stoped loving me. he told me this one day when we had a fight. he told me he didn't love me. I was hurt. and things in the relationship went bad. he ended up cheating on me and blamed me for all.. I confrontied him on the cheating and he admitted it. and he keep on doing. so I decided to end the relationship cuz I couldn't handle the hurt he was causing me. so I left.
I’m in a lot of pain due to my marriage of 32 years ending with my husband abandoning me a year ago. He has told me he’s doesn’t love me and is getting a divorce I never saw it coming he has blocked me from his social media so I deleted my page although it’s been over a year as he has not been in contact with me. I have not been able to understand why or what has happened just feeling discarded I’ve never cheated I really thought we would be able to work through our differences but he’s gone without even discussing/sharing or trying to make the marriage work. Just confused!!
Gabriel Gonzales you lasted long, I lasted 18 months with mines. He told me a week ago that the sun wasn’t bright anymore and I told him ok no problem . He kept emailing me for the next two dats, I guess out of guilt since I treated him like a king all the time . I ignored him till last Friday that I emailed him a quote telling him that I rather be alone than being his friend (he asked me to stay as friends) not on the mood to stay in the friend zone when I have feelings for him.
I wish we weren't in the middle of this pandemic shutdown....I could really use a weekend to help save my marriage!
I’m on the same boat as you. I still managed to book a vacation a few weeks out not much to do but swim or hike but it’s something
I agree. I need it marriage help so bad right now
@@felicia9140 ___
Hello,hope is not lost 😔 yet
@@felicia9140 __
My husband just came back to me two weeks ago and we are happy now
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My ex husband told me this. Then married his affair partner. 3 years later he committed suicide.
Sorry. That is horrible
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I'm so sorry
What if I think that I am married to a Narcissist? How could I ever save my marriage? He says he loves me, but is not "in Love with me". I am so hurt. I feel like I was hurt twice. Unhappy
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Well he's told me time again that he doesn't love me wants a divorce hates me and everything about me been with him since I was 16 ..47 now and it's tough can't even talk to him but I'm loyal till the end but feel like I'm on a desert island on my own
Im sorry.. if I think 12 years was a lot. My you spent so much of your life. Sending you support and hugs
I might as well file for a divorce now.
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I wish they would give advice as to what to do
Can you guys do one on open relationships
Hey there Hank, we actually already filmed a video covering open marriage as the main topic. You can find that here: th-cam.com/video/7x7C6V918b0/w-d-xo.html
One thing happening is happenstance....two things happening is coincidence....three things is ENEMY ACTIVITY.
What about a sexless marriage. I have stood for more than 10 years. Now he is taking testosterone because I asked him to go. I don’t feel in love. I feel sad lost and going though depression. I just feel like every time. He did Wes’s gonna change he didn’t. He went back to NOT making love to me.. I want to believe that he will change this time. But my negative mind is going round and round. PLEASE HELP ME. Can I forgive can I believe him? Sex is the glue that holds marriage together. God has said that it is VERY important.
Have you tried different ideas sexually like maybe toys, porn, role play? Maybe the spark is gone for him. Maybe he has a sexual fetish that he worries you won’t be into. Many times with men they have some sort of fetish and they don’t see their wife approving. I’ve been through this and it’s worth looking into if you’re willing to be open about it. Just a thought.
It is not the glue. Love is not selfish love is patient.
Brown-Eyed Girl I am the one into fetish. He is not into that. We are seeing a sex therapist. The therapist has asked my husband to please apologize as many times as possible. The therapist wrote him a personal email to him. We are taking steps. God help us.
I can attest that indeed sex is the glue that gets you through the rough patches. Husband and I were in our mid40's not having sex but once a month and sometimes longer. He had ED. And my libido wasn't too high anymore anyway so I thought 'no big deal. We're getting older.' Always told him I was grateful for the times we did. Then when he turned 49 he had a mid-life crisis. Bought a harley. Started acting / doing / suggesting things a younger man might. Lost weight. I caught him obtaining services of AN ESCORT. He made up some thing about how it was just a spam text or something. I believed him because he acted very in love with me and gave me gifts. Then when he turned 50, he up and left. Wants a divorce. No counseling. With someone new that he had been scoping out or dating already. Threw his wedding ring away 3 days after he told me. I cannot believe---would NEVER have believed this person would do this to me. Five kids. Almost 22 years of marriage. One of the "reasons" he told me was that he didn't feel I wanted him. Though TBH it is probably just an excuse. ... Sex is extremely important.
Titanium Tiara sex is very important. It has hurt me so badly that he has not wanted me. I thought about leaving. But I don’t want o leave my marriage and my family I have 2 children, 14 and 7. I want to honor my commitment. We are seeing a sex therapist. I can say I am not in love because he killed the feeling. So now I pray it will be revived. I love him he is my best friend. God help me. I pray for breath of life in my marriage.
What if your spouse is the first kind? He just wants to be alone!
Melanie Barney I think it’s more common than he says... my husband wants to be alone as well.
I’m working on myself. Sometimes we make progress, and one thing happens and it’s 10 steps back.
This what my wife told me was 1 of the hardest feeling I ever had. Now I'm working im not gonna give up on my wife we have 2 kids. I know I was never home cus of my job I was always working late not time for the family
Im in a similar situation... How is chat going?
@@z0quetee ___
Don't ever let anyone get in between you and your love
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I just got my husband back to me after some months of separation...
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You can tell people what to do to become an even bigger door mat? Why sign me up.
My wife tells me that too, she said she love me but she is inlove with someone else, shes having an affair right now, we are still living together but she is planning to leave me soon, i love my wife so mch, im doing smart contact, and im not sure if its working sometimes,
How are things coming?
MGTOW, TH-cam it.
Or if you prefer comedy
Some Patrice O'Neal might do.
The best way is let her go then cry a little or a lot and move on!!! Because this is her fault for not safeguarding the relationship and letting a third party come into the picture, it’s complete betrayal.
Hi Roger! How are things on you right now? God bless
What to do you pray
I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" anymore. He's an alcoholic and I was at him about it. He started an affair with a much younger woman a year before. I found out and threw him out. He moved in with her and hasn't stopped since. I've done all the things you mentioned. He hasn't stopped drinking, still with her but WON'T officially end the marriage. Won't respond to anything. Not sure what to do next.
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My husband tells me that because I am fat and we always have issues with my weight..that I should be size 2...25 yrs and I have no respect and superficiality
❤️ had the same
how can it be deceitful if you dont want to hurt the other person?
Justbto be clear I never cheated on my husband, I just feel guilty about having feelings for a person, but they do not feel the same.
What makes YOU think I am lying?
Don’t you mean my finger is moving? Bet you can guess what my finger is doing now, all directed to you, Mr. Bot!
I’ve been through this and my husband of 22 yrs left me and my kids for 6 months for a pothead whore. He now wants to reconcile and I know what my faults were but now that he’s had his affair I don’t love or respect him as a wife should.
Women are suffocating because of men. U ladies don't deserve that.
I wish I could have a session with you. I need to talk about my last relationship and the break up. it still has a hurt on me.
You really need to have a session with no one else but JESUS CHRIST! !
This has been soo helpful have issues in my marriage hurts that I need help with.
My husband was soo unfaithful in the beginning of our marriage lasted over ten years we have four beautiful kids one deceased, and inspite of the hurts I stayed because we had a close family knit. He never I'll treated me or the kids just the constant infidelity. Now I feel like I love him but am not inlove witg him, no matter how hard I try that kinda love is just no longer there. We've been married 26 years and it's just sad living with your husband and not feeling that love anymore.
@@sarahpuckerin667 I'm sorry to hear that stat strong
@@howienolan8917 thank you hun
The truth is, you need no one else but JESUS! !
@@camdiffright460 Trust me he's the reason that keeps holding it together and not giving up
Is it appropriate to share this with your spouse to help them understand the way you feel?
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Do you talk to couples that not married but is planning and wanting to get married?
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Wife and I divorced 2 days ago she asked for it. She would still tell my friends she still love me but wanted out. We're done.... Are we?? Do I still have a chance??
one month later. I hope you didn't go back Brother.
Ribeye MGTOW idea love to go back we had problems like any other couple
Antonio Rodriguez there is always a chance but she left you. Do you really want her? To get her back means you have to be something your not at the moment. Growth change and becoming something different than you are now. 🙁 it won’t be fast but truthfully most people when they become better realize there value and what they have accomplished and then think why would I want that now. I am so much better than that
My wife says "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore." all the time. I think she hates me. I am a old man over 70 and my wife hasn't made love to since was about 45 years old. She has said I don't respect her. Plus in 1990 I grabbed her by her shoulder (like Spock) because I was really mad. She throws that up in my face every time she gets mad at me. I am handicapped from a stroke and heart failure and every since I got out of hospital 2010 and have said some hateful cuss words on occasion. It was in retaliation for bad put me down speech she said me.She said last night the stroke was my fault. I was asleep when I had the stroke. How can it be my fault!! I am starting hate her.
Basically it means they are done with you.
My wife has told me that she’s not in love with me and....she hates me quite a few times. I am finally leaving the house after trying over and over again and now that I’ve told her that I’m leaving and starting to look for a place of my own as I stay at my friends house. Now she tells me that it’s my fault for breaking up our family and leaving her and my kids. We’ve argued a lot lately, well she’s argued I hate arguing and only say a few things when arguing. Well now that I’m going to leave the house and find a place of my own she tells me what I said above. She has also said that she sees why people cheat and can see why so many people do cheat. Idk what to do I’m soo lost.
She’s been in love with someone else since 2018. Doesn’t have the decency to just be honest. A serial cheater throughout our twenty year marriage. Should’ve left her years ago. You think you know someone? Even after 20 years? You’d be amazed how evil, devious, cold and calculating someone can be to their “other half” who they know loved them so deeply. It’s Just evil. As is the Narcissist she’s in love with, who is himself married. Gonna leave her to it. I’ve suffered enough
It’s my son I feel so sad for.
there is still hope, use the law of attraction in bio, fast result
Do you guys accept health insurance coverage
there is still hope, use the law of attraction in bio, fast result
Thanks
Is this the same when they say, "Love you no matter what." because that's what he tells me instead of being more personal with me. Yet, he's the one who made the decision to separate from me. I don't understand that phrase.
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My husband says “I love you but I’ll never be in love with you cause it’s not biblical”
What if you’ve already made some of these mistakes?
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In my relationship our sex life has all the tell signs, we use to have great sex and be into each other but now he doesn’t even want sex or if he tries he can get it up for the beginning and then soon after it will come down, as if he just lost complete attraction towards me :( , and he is young so is not an age factor also very healthy and into fitness so I just know some one has stolen his heart from me and I just want a divorce because if that is the case then it’s his fault because I have been an amazing wife through out 7 years of our relationship.
So vague and hard to comprehend. My parents have both said that to one another but they're still together...I don't understand it.
Sorry to hear that! Here is another resource which explains limerence a bit more in depth. Hope this helps!
www.marriagehelper.com/Understanding-Limerence-Podcast
People fall out of love with one another, they stay together because they don't fall out of love at the same time.
Can you please share or make a video on what to do when the problem is first one - the spouse just wants to be alone as being hurt too many times - mentioned at the start of the video? Will the steps to be taken remain the same in that scenario too or will change?
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I just got my husband back to me after separation..
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You can still get your love back to you if you still love them alot
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I was with my girlfriend 10 years and she told me this and after we separated she said if you focus on u we can get back together
Where are you two now? I'm going through a similar situation. It looks pretty bleak from here.
@@Kidrobot016 still broken up I found out about another guy now that he slept with her and brushed her off now she texting me now I'm not interested now go chase him
@@anton211985 ___
Hello,if you love him,you can actually get him back.
@@anton211985 because I also got my husband back because he was my first love
@@anton211985 Don't let anyone be in between you and your lover
I need advice ..Im really reluctant in being honest with my man...im very unhappy in the relationship...and in losing interest out of the stability in the relationship..he keeps on getting incarcerated putting me thru toxic inviorment...he was a very good man and bring me happiness..Im just getting sick of all this responsibility of being on my own...with a guy that I'm having second guesses about
I been through this ... I went with him through high school... then he fell 12 yrs ... I stayed by his side... we were in our thirties when he got out ... we were engaged for two years... and he cheated... ended up marrying the cheat ... had two kids ... It’s twenty years later... we always remained friends... I lost my husband five years ago... he is in a divorce process and he wants to be with me and he cries Bc of the way he hurt me ... we are dating again and I just turned 64
all you said just come true.what i need to do
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Much informative
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Great video and you have a very nice voice
24yr of marriage and two kids,i found hes call his ex wife, he started hiding his phone at work then got finger lock phone. we had a fight night before and next night he decide he going help some co workers sister who got into car wreck,i didn't even know this person ,he flew out and said me, I dont care what u think, u can think what u want too, next day he ask if I want divorce , I said to him idk what I want this point hes he wanted work it out, and he taking sister he be back at noon if that was ok, then I said u don't care what I think so do what u want to cause ur not going listen to me, he didn't show up until next day, I move ur bed room ,I don't sex with him any more, he caught txting this girl and my friend told hes was flirting with her at work,i told him,i wanted divorce, he has push me , he told me im ugly , hes never loved me he only married me to get me away from my mother and to give a life, I told him if that how he felt he didn't have save me it wasn't his job. he throws baby fits, wen ppl get into food he don't want u to have,he blame me for taking his stuff he has mis placed, call me a liar , so I figure fine ur going call me a liar , I will do so .then ,he ran off to nyc in middle of the night for class reunion , he never call me wen he was gone, now he treat me nice ,but wait for shoe drop again which ik it will. I want divorce, and freedom from him,
Oh yes he has started working out and makes excuses to get away from me. Multiple trips to the store.
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Wife said she doesnt love me, only for me to find an affair. I think ive used up all the mistakes I have that she got out of the house and is seeing the ap. Any help for a walkaway wife, desperately need advice. I love my family and daughter to death.
Test Test same here brother. I am in the exact same situation. Stay strong I know it’s difficult. Believe me
Hi, here is an article which may provide some insight:
www.marriagehelper.com/7-ways-to-save-your-marriage
My Grandmother always said to my father, when he was having problems with my mother. "Focus on the children". My Dad gave us kids an amazing time! Even if it was just kicking a ball or going for a short walk with him. We were loved by him and turned into strong people and he was very good to my mother despite some of her (relationship deal-breaking) failings. Him being good to her meant she didn't become our problem as kids.
Being A loving Dad may be your greatest legacy in life even if your wife doesn't see it right now, if she has any decency she'll appreciate it eventually.
Women love men who are the best father figure for their kids. Make that be you! Best of luck.
k bal thanks man, thats what everyone else is telling me, atleast now i know someone has been on the other side for me to believe it. Hats off to your dad, he’s an insipiration to all lbh’s or all dads in general.
@@testtestph Thanks for saying that about my Dad. He died in his early 70s from cancer and while I did thank him for all he did for us I never felt like that was enough. All I can do is pay it forward with my own kids and I hope you can benefit from his legacy too. He was an incredibly kind man and super strong in his restraint when he was angry. All the best.
Hi Dr. Beam. What if it’s the first reason why she doesn’t love me anymore? She just believe that she could be happy being on her own. Is it possible to get her back or change to save the marriage? You said that it just mean for other reason if they do not love you anymore that they are looking for it somewhere else, but what if they are just thinking that they can be happy not in any relationship? This was not in the video in detail but I am not sure if my marriage can be saved if she feels this way. How to make her fall in love with me again. I have actually changed but even though she sees it, she said she doesn’t feel the same way towards me. I am trying my all, everything, she just means that much to me. Thank you.
Update?
Fantastic!!!
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I can recommend you to someone who helped me attract my husband back to me after separation..
What.sApp him..
Thanks__ +2348119132200..
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What can I do when my spouse is the rare one you talked about where they have been hurt over and over by me? I am out of the house at his request and barley see the family and can't see a reconciliation in sight.
This article gives tips on how to save your marriage:
www.marriagehelper.com/can_one_spouse_save_a_marriage.php
Since you are wanting to work on saving your marriage, you may want to consider attending our Marriage 911 Workshop.
Here is the link to an informational video about the workshop:
your.marriagehelper.com/marriage-workshop
Hi am from India and I know u guys can literally help people looking for help in this matter however am from India n am looking for marriage helper like you please help me
What if I'm in an abuser for 26 years, he threatened me if I leave.
I'm trapped, I fell in love with a non abuser, now what.
We always advise people in danger to seek safety. If necessary, call the domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233.
Spot on sir! Yeap.
Do you have info in Spanish
Damn...You nailed it!!! L🤣🤣🤣L
My wife told me she fell out of love with me and isn't ready for a relationship anymore. Two days ago she popped back on a dating site. She says her career can take her anywhere in the world, but then why is she back to dating?