I've spoken to a number of women recently who were inappropriately pessimistic about their chances of getting married, simply due to their age. While it's true that women operate under an increasing disadvantage in the sexual marketplace in their 30s, that doesn't mean they can't still win. They just need to change their strategy. In this episode, I discuss further. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women
Older women can win but should they. Not only her age but her history is an indication of future success for a man with these women. Many men believe that these women settling for them is a win but if she has had what she perceives as a better man, her current man is a pit stop to replenish resources and confidence until she replaces him in the future. Older women win more then they should because men invest for the long term, as these women quietly invest in him for the short term
Orion, I do have to ask: How many of these women expressed a willingness to settle somewhat for a man who isn’t necessarily the tallest or particularly rich, but rather more average in both departments? Would you say that you’ve observed that some women over 30 remain picky long after the odds start to become stacked against them?
I have a lot of female friends in their late 30 I would love to send this to but 95% of them would rather die alone than be humbled. Pride comes before the fall
Pride truly is a ‘deadly’ sin for women because of how unattractive it makes them, and how they then paint themselves into a corner of perpetual singledom. Pride works differently for men as it instills confidence which is attractive.
This is evolution. Darwinism will weed out all the women who can't find a way to be under a man. Because let's be honest, most of this stems from feminism and their pride. Power struggle
After spending 15 years receiving free attention, time and resources, scoffing at men. These women have do not have the fortitude or dexterity to remodel their behaviour to suit their new disadvantaged position. So it’s safe to say it’s over for these Oes.
I'm a 45 year old man in NYC. I've done online dating, speed dating, and singles mixer too. Most of the women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s have not changed their strategy. They are still waiting for some handsome and exciting man to sweep them off their feet.
I'm 48 in michigan. I was a "loser" in my 20's and 30s so I spent a lot of time in college and working. It's so easy to get a woman now and they are so abundant. I don't use Internet dating. I can tell by the way they dress if they are single. I can also tell if they want me to ask them out by the way they act. I hardly ever miss.
Same. Was a loser until 25. Killed it from 25 to 39. Going back out to date soon at 55, but doing it in person. Much easier than online dating, cuz I'm average looking but hilarious and smart.
😂 I'm so glad you clarified this for them! I've seen some ridiculous Ridddiculous understanding over the past few years from some smart looking women 😅 And yes, we're having a bit of fun here too, so we take this lightly 😊
I have a younger sister (32) who can't seem to get out of the cycle of dating guys for years and years and years until she finally starts putting the pressure on to pop the question only to then see them run for the hills because they don't want to commit. As much as I'd love to send her Orion's content because I know it would 100% help if she were open-minded, she is also very left-wing in her thinking and is the epitome of girl boss. I doubt she would make it even 60 seconds into a clip like this one before closing it and rage texting me back.
The fact that she shows resistance towards any form of change is a red flag in its own right. There's no way she'll have a happy marriage if she remains this way.
Do the right thing and send her the video. Let her hate you for a bit. Just keep speaking the truth. Nothing is worse for you or the people you love than to be afraid to tell the truth
"Most women turn out OK, that is most women end up in a decent relationship. They may not end up in a relationship with the man they'd prefer (...)" That's one hell of a compromise and it explains why so many men get no respect from their wives: these men were just consolation prizes to their women, as they were never the first choice. How is that a good ending?
They don't see it as a decent relationship. That's why they are angry and bitter. Orion's conclusion is right from a man's point of view, but not a woman's.
We are worth what we can get. This is what happens to women whose preference is instead a demand, and to men who choose or choose to stay with such women
Would you be willing to give up your life protecting a woman who sees you as her 7th choice? No chance I am doing it. Listen very carefully to their words and they will tell you how they see you. If they say something like "Sex is not the highest priority!" just ask yourself if they would say that to Ronaldo or whoever their 1st choice is. No chance.
Yeah women see this as "settling". They secured a man but not the kind of man they want, this is easily noticeable on the amount of disrespect they put their man and how many hoops he have to jump. Most of these men lack the self-respect to walk away, allowing this cycle to continue ad nauseam.
It amazes me how many US women over 50 not only think the game isn't over yet, but have demands just as high as when they were in their 20s. And then they are surprised they stay single.
That's why I prefer higher interest women only. I find American women more reasonable than Northern European women generally. My best experiences mostly
I went on a date with a 31yr lady last year, and when she decided that I wasnt her guy, she literally said "Im going to die alone", on the date. I also dated a 35 yr that told me at the end that she was going to try artificial help to have a baby. Both girls seemed hopeless.
I have been dating over 30 for 14 years now. My dating life has been great. The women I’ve met have been great and reasonable. There are so many quality women out there, and if you can’t find them maybe you aren’t as amazing as you think you are. Honestly consider that. Blame other people all you want, but if you aren’t getting the dating results that you want, it’s on you. Love finds the lovable. Know that fact. If you aren’t getting results, that’s life telling you that you are fucking up somehow.
lmao you can do everything right and still fuckup. Can't change someone genetics no matter how hard they try. If you are a tall white guy I'm sure you have it good.
This is very hard to believe. You've met multiple wmn over 30 who were "great and reasonable"? You seem to be the only one with this capability. What's your secret?
I agree with you. I think many that are left alone and complaining from both genders, share similar characteristics… like the idealism, delusion and somehow still wanting a 10/10 for no reason. It’s not about dropping your standards, it’s more about being open, realistic and willing to do the work to make yourself better (working out, improving looks, personality, etc)
You comment is funny but it highlights a problem. Our society is structured to create lemmings out of women because they aren't being taught this stuff by default.
As a guy in his thirties, I definitely get along more with women who are around my age. I definitely still think they're attractive and I kinda prefer them over "younger" women. As long as they have similar values, can understand me on a deeper level and have chemistry with me.
I’m in my early thirties too and I know exactly what you’re talking about. I tend to have longer lasting relationships with older women anyway and there are tons of women over thirty who look gorgeous because they’ve still been taking care of themselves
There is a "I'll be the way I am, if he does not accept me for that it's his loss", kind of laissez-faire pandemic in the attitude of women in this cohort, that blinds them from their own failings. Those that continue this way into their 40s end up with cats, those that get out of this hole, have made some effort towards self-development and making themselves attractive, and useful to the men their desire to have any sustainable relationships with. The rest are just loony bins, beware and keep them at bay.
yeah, society promotes a lot of the no-effort laissez-faire attitude in women a lot of the time "You go Queen, ain't nothing wrong with you, it's obviously all the men out there!" Excessive cope.
Most men behave like what you describe within a marriage. "I am who I am and if you like it if you don't that's your problem it is you who will have to change" an attitude which does not work. And, who are you to judge the "failings" of others? where you living under the same circumstances and with the same genetic make up with this or the other person? It is not who is more perfected who may get a good partner but the most compatible with the other.
@14margott the nerve of YOU to judge what you think "most men" do. Who are you to judge the perceived failures of men? Stop being a hateful hypocrite and grow up
I laughed so hard 😂😂That is exactly the story of S.. and the city. if Mr. Big doesn't like me but the more helpful woman, he is too weak for my strong wild horse attitude. If I don't shower as a man , the women didn't like my wild 🐎 attitude either. 😂
I typically prefer a woman that's closer to 30 than closer to 20, simply because they do have more life experience and the potential to have developed more of a personality and appreciation for quality men. The only problem is, many of them have done neither of those. It's not your age, it's your attitude. Same goes for men.
If a woman want's a man, it's easy. She just needs to figure out what that man wants... and give it to him. If she wants to keep that man, keep figuring out what he wants and keep giving it to him. It really is that simple, but the vast majority of women are too prideful to do this.
And therefore they will remain single and full of bitterness. Its just a small matter or fraction of changing their behaviours what they want..... But instead choose the upside🤨🤨
And luckily, for women, they can just ask men what they want and we will tell them. Unlike women who keep it all a secret and want you to be a mind reader.
This guy is really good. I mean the most sage wisdom I’ve ever come across on this topic. But I’d bet a lot of it falls on deaf ears. Like he says, I was an invisible 20 something year old guy but I knew that it wouldn’t stay that way forever.
The problem is women intgeir 30s often come with baggage. Example children from multiple men and alot of emotional hurt fro dealing with fboys in their 20s . And they still expect a happy ending
Men too. Relationships may not workout or you may have not gotten the right guidance growing up. But as long as you’ve healed and learned you qualify for a happy ending. People can change man. Stop being so rigid in this redpill philosophy
Thank you, Orion. Women in their twenties have several advantages and they have no problem competing against you for any man they want for any reason. However, any woman can change the odds by doing the one thing no one expects. Be what the man wants in a partner.
I'm a man, but from what I've seen... A woman who takes care of her body keeps most of her value on the sexual marketplace no matter how old she gets. Some of their options may go away, but they will never experience anything close to the scarcity that men are facing. The real "wall" that most women encounter is when they become overweight. Most men do not prefer obese women, and most single over-30 American women are obese. I'm not trying to be mean, this is just honest advice that I think we need to destigmatize. Staying in shape is easily the most important thing any woman can do to be attractive, but for some reason we have just collectively agreed not to point it out. And besides that, people should be staying fit anyways because IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND IMPROVES ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.
🎯💯 agree. Save for times when it’s out of a person’s control (injury, medication side effect etc) allowing yourself to get to that point says a lot. It is very telling, yet completely unacceptable to say this out loud.
women overestimate their worth due to the fabricated economy built around pretending women are doing better than they are. in my high school, they even gave girls teams more money than guys teams in competitions to "even it out".
I prefer women who are fit, feminine, friendly, financially smart, forward thinking, and most of all, faithful. If a woman is in her 30's but has all these, she's good in my book. 😊
Exactly. I am 30. And until I reached a certain financial goal I didn't even think about getting married at all. Like marrying in 20s is a nonsense. 20s are for building a career, studying, traveling, finding yourself. In my opinion, a person in their 20s is not a ready person yet. 30s are a different story. You have a career, money, perhaps own a house. Priorities set, you are secure about yourself. ☺️
@@hrthrhs there us a lot of content for women how to become the so called high value woman and so on. Can't remember the names because I am not really into such things. There is a ton of books also.
Premise 1: I want kids. Premise 2: you need 5-8 years to really get to know if a woman is a somewhat safe choice for a wife and mother of your children. Premise 3: a pregnancy after 35 is called a geriatric pregnancy. Join the dots.
Absolutely true. If you are male & want children it makes zero sense to date women over 35. It is possible to form a solid relationship in 3-5yrs, so a woman at 30 might be OK. Not everyone wants children. With great communication skills you have greater options. (Married at 29 after 5yrs shacked up, child at 36 & still married 27yrs)
I am mixed on kids. If I have them I have them. I have two standards. 35 or older I want to date a woman who doesn't want them or is not sure, less chance of pressure. Under 35, I want a woman who wants them, then I can do that vetting.
True…. But 1st cousin married at 35 to younger man…. Two kids. Another first cousin about 34…. 4 kids to younger man. Sister married 7 year younger husband at 34…. Decided she wanted kids at 38…. One kid at 39 and second at 42. It’s better when younger but not a done deal.
no smart woman is going to waste 5-8 years for you to decide if she’s a “safe choice” and this is coming from a 25 year old. it doesn’t take nearly that long you just want to use up her prime years.
My two cents: Some women over 30 are way bomb. Some even have 100% the looks. Though, nothing is more important than faith, personality, empathy, positivity, humor, and honesty (even blunt honesty). Extra points if she has skills. Oh, and she should know how to cook.
So this clip told me already what I knew never get with a woman post 28 - 29 and definitely not after 30. Because you don't want to end up as the man she had to settle for as her first choices didn't work out, and she remains in a constant bitterness and disappointed stage as you were neve her first choice.
@@agentm83 Same applies to women. Do you think men settle with their "first choice" or second or third? Most men settle with whichever woman is willing to be with them.
Listening to these types of videos is the only time I don’t mind being kind of old. None of this crap happened when I was younger. I did things the old fashioned way. After being with my girlfriend for two months I got her pregnant. We’re married 30 years next month and raised three sons to adulthood. We named our middle one Orion and thought we were being unique. I don’t know about now a days but the only way to make marriage work is just to decide to make it work. There’s no secret. We probably talked about getting divorced a few times over the year’s earlier in the marriage, but just didn’t. Now neither of us would even consider such a stupid thing. Neither of us could live the life we’re living now if we split up and we know at this stage neither of us would find anyone better and we don’t want to.
I think younger generations have such a warped and unrealistic view of marriage and relationships .. they seem to expect that it will be fun most of the time and that headaches will be minimal. They bought into the Disney/lifetime movie fantasies
I'm 37, single and have 2 kids. Most of my (old) friends have ended up in the same spot. What "the internet" seems to forget, is that where there is a single mom, there is also a single dad. They tend to date in that pool, there are a lot of people who are in that situation actually. Many also prefer to stay single (or have fwb) until the kids are older and they have more free time to spend on a relationship again. People who are not thinking about reproduction anymore are pretty chill when it comes to dating, there is no rush. Scarcity mindset makes people desperate and unattractive. It's all about self development/growth and hopefully having learned lessons from the past to apply in the future. If you put in the work to be a good human, there will be someone for you. If you haven't had kids yet but want them, i do believe the 30's is probably the worst time to try and find a healthy relationship. Way too many women are afraid for their biological clock running our and make bad partner choices. Then again, i started my relationship at 25, and waited 6 years to have kids, and the relationship failed as well. So good luck out there y'all!
its harsh out there for sure, Im not worried about kids myself as a man thats why Im not rushing relationships at all, Id rather be in my 30s to have more stability for my own peace of mind. best of luck for you out there!
it is funny that you say that "hopefully learned lessons from the past" because I like to say that "smart people learn from their mistakes, but the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others. which is why I've never done drugs or smoked, never gotten married or moved a woman in and I've never tattoed myself either.
Yes my friends did the right thing and still got the short in of the stick. More than one are divorced and with the child or children. Got divorced in their 20s. I think the odds of it working out with the type of characters a girl dates in high school and their 20s in America is pretty slim.
Yeah, this matches my experience pretty well. Women are not destined to be alone once they reach the age of 30. They just have to give up this "I deserve this" and "he betta that" and "I know my worth now" BS that you see all over the internet. A regular, average man in his late thirties would rather be with a fit, feminine, friendly, low-maintenance woman in her 30s who makes his life easier and more comfortable than continue to work his ass off to deal with annoying, high-maintenance party girls in their 20s. Chad will still mess with those girls, but a regular dude would just be happy with a steady 6 who makes his life better. So ladies, if you're in your 30s and you want a man, you have to do something you've never had to do in your entire life, and probably no one has ever told you. You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things - with a smile on your face. If you're not willing to do that, that's fine. But you're going to end up alone like all these other 30+ women who think they can give everything away for free in their 20s, but men will still be willing to wife them up in their 30s in return for absolutely nothing.
Vetting is what Christians do all the while during courtship..the world lost their mind....old fashioned values will win... even if ya all don't like it.
@literal: _"You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things"_ I thought you were serious until I saw this, then I knew you were trolling. Women finding out what a MAN wants? That's utter fantasy!!
But men need to find out what women want and are attracted to as well. I see many guys acting like they are going to live out the remainder of their life without a mate and be happy but I think they are fooling themselves. Only a tiny % of men and women can live their life without a mate and be fine and they are not the types to watch content like this lol
There was a Miss USA pageant queen who was terrified of being alone after 30 so much and at the height of the online community pushing the whole "you're going to die alone" narrative that she took her life, jumping out of her highrise apartment at the young age of 30. 😢 Ladies, please don't be so hard on yourself- ESPECIALLY if you are truly beautiful, with a beautiful heart and mind. Life is never over. Where there is hope (and knowledge to do better), there is Future. ❤
Youre so right. Im single in my 30s and its because I never put put in the effort to drop my handkerchief so to speak. I didnt put any effort or put myself out there but its because I felt so unworthy and had a lot of trauma so I spent a lot of my 20s cloistered in my room figuring out my internal struggles so i can be a healthy partner to somebody else as well as myself. Thats why I feel like if you love your daughter its even more important and pertinent to love, keep them safe, care and value them when they are young so they dont waste their youth to trauma, negative mental health etc.and figuring it out. Thats why parents treat their sons differently than their daughters. Its not about double standards and eventually the woman will grow up and realize their parents were just trying to protect them
Want to have a leg up on your female competition ladies? Then be fit, feminine, and friendly. Lose the weight and no excuses. And like Dr. Taraban said, you need to make yourself available. Lastly, you must drop your excessive standards as you, like the men out there are mostly average. That's right, you're not special, you are average.
I'm 39 and done with men. Never been happier. The things they did to me, starting with my father, is nothing short of a horror movie (from psychological torture to physical violence) I am finally free of them and recuperating. Feeling happier and more peaceful every day.
It may be that your relationship with your father affected the type of partners you chose later in life. I’m very sorry to hear about your experience and will pray for you. John 3:16-18
Good for you! Women don’t need men. A strong woman can take care of herself financially and emotionally, no man needed especially the toxic cocky ones ughh. Do not subscribe to this global nonsense propaganda that women will die alone they need to marry otherwise they will die alone with a cat. I will take 5 cats before I marry a narcissist jerk who treats me horrible. Any day any time, cats please hahaha! Ariana, I hope you continue on your journey and be happy, fulfilled in career and loved by the ones around you!
My own mother and sister did terrible things to me, but I've met many other women in my life, so I know for a fact that not all women are like them. It isn't fair to accuse every other woman in the world of the sh*t my mother and sister did to me. That doesn't make sense... But hey, that's just me.
It sounds like to me this has to do with your relationship with your father only, I know this is touchy subject there. But you cannot judge every single men you see in public places just because what happened to you. Not every men out there are terrible, they are good men out there for you. You just haven't approach to any of them. You need a man who likes you and is kind to you.
Not all single women in their 30’s were picky or have high expectations when they were younger, some of these women were ugly or insecure or had illnesses, and once they get rid of these issues they become attractive and beautiful in their 30’s and men are easy to judge wondering why they are single it’s because they were invisible to men so don’t judge so quickly (speaking from experience)
I was a late bloomer. Also, though culturally my fam is not for the boyfriend-girlfriend relationships...I got caught up in that multiple year "relationship" twice with no end goal in mind, so here I am lol. There's levels to this 😅
That’s not really taking accountability though is it? How do you go from being ugly in your 20s but are now better looking in your 30s with out accepting a lack of responsibility in your 20s?
I am middle eastern and it is not that easy because people think our values are weird lol. I don’t drink, smoke, and hate clubs. I like to dance just not in that environment. Sex is for marriage for me. It is hard to find someone you like with similar values! Men from my community want an IG model. I don’t think they understand that without IG those apps are not real life. Good luck everyone 💗
@@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner yep modern lifestyle seems to negatively affect biological fertility in both sexes. Modern adult kids don't want kids, I m like that but I will be willing to give up being a kid for a girl like u
Have you ever thought about looking at other men in different areas based on infrastructure/blue collar department, mostly men over there tend to have class. There is this saying, "it's not if you can live with him, it's if you can't live without him". If he were to propose and you aren't sure, then he isn't the guy for you. Kindness trumps intelligence. It doesn't matter how intelligent he is, if he isn't nice, it won't matter. You need a husband that likes you and is kind to you. And the most important thing in his life is you. I hope this helps you understand things.
@@AndrewTheVikings I don’t really care too much what he does as long as he can provide and be physically there(some jobs they work forever) I see no point in being in a relationship if he is never there. I think it could be my area and also I don’t really go to places like clubs. I wouldn’t know where to meet guys my age that accept a woman that doesn’t have sex or drink. We’re the outcasts and I am fine with it. Yesss you are speaking FACTS! I am so tired of people telling me “he is intelligent” lol so? As long we get along and we can work as a team, we are good. And you are right, I have to like the person inside and out or else I will resent that person and vice versa.
The real issue is that an ever growing number of men have come to the realization that marriage to a modern, westernized, feminized woman is devoid of the benefits that came with marrying a traditional woman. Unless women become traditional again, and the family laws change where no-fault divorce is abolished, child custody is more even, and there is no such thing as alimony, men are simply checking out of the entire game. There is no longer any benefit with marriage in today's culture and all a man really gains from entering that contract is enormous risk. Only 6 in 1000 men are choosing to get married because of our new cultural norms. These next few decades are going to be rough for women, no matter what their age is.
@@isaiahexileMy advice? Work on understanding women's issues from their point of view (took me about 5 years of watching hundreds of hours of video), and learn to pass their shit tests. They will respect you more and more throughout this process.
the average man’s SMV is not higher than the average woman’s SMV at 30+. women always have more options than men. just because you’re a 30 man with your stuff together, doesn’t mean women all of sudden flock to you, unless you’re a famous celebrity.
Yes that’s true but they are massively easier to get. I literally just saw an example of this last night. It didn’t take an hour and she was ready to do business😏just because the guy had his own business and a car(and she was quite attractive too)
You’re not being empathetic dude. Guessing you’re a guy, so sex then relationships, chicks are the opposite. Sure any chick that’s not terrible can find a guy to fuck her, it’s can she get him to stick around after. The younger the more beautiful/fertile/virginal a women so more guys want to date her. On the other hand women value power, if you’re a guy in his thirties you’ve been in the game for a decade or two, one would hope you’re more powerful than the teens! Think the fella in the comment above is planning on wifing up the barren chick he fucked?
Dr. Taraban possesses such a rich linguistic repertoire, every time I see him speak, as a non-native, I find myself absorbing new vocabulary in the English language! Hats off to your mastery of expression, sir!
Women changing and taking accountability for their faults? If it didn’t happen before the age of 30 (leading them to landing a man who propose to them), it isn’t going to happen after 30 (which is too late for HVM). Generally (anecdotally) 30+ women double down on their narcissism… So yeah, no. Nothing changes. 🤷♂️😂
@@DonolouiI didn't interpret the comment that way, but I can see where you're coming from. I saw it more as there being value in being with someone when you're both younger and have been together for some time, like a 25-year-old being with someone for several years. In that scenario, you were with them when you both were arguably higher value or there was less "baggage" from living life. Like, if you've had a car from when it was mostly new versus being in the position of having to buy it much farther into its lifespan. I'm sure someone out there has or will, but I would like to hope someone wouldn't be with their wife for years if they met young and consider them a mediocre product. I think the distinction is having to choose the person later in their life as your first experience with them versus them being that age as a function of time spent together.
I have seen what happens when women (that are not good) do not get the man that they REALLY want and they still have access to the man: They will CHEAT. Women do not respect marriage the same way men do.
I think that is exactly true. However, women in their 30s should not waste time moving in with a man without a ring. They cannot afford to waste time. Usually the roommate scenario is a waste of time.
@@beastinshow2362 millions of pre-nups are tossed out everyday. your advice is like telling men to play Russian roulette with only 1 bullet instead of 2
The effort is so important. As man turns above 30 he has done so much to be an attractive partner. you can't just be a lazy person. Most importantly, GO TO THERAPY! some of yall need to heal.
well, they should reflect on realistic 'standards' to begin with, instead of continuing to entertain non-viable narcissistic delusions concordant to hiveminded infestations, wich aren't bearable for anybody.
I met my wife when she was 33 and I was 35. Retrospectively, I would have preferred someone at least a few years younger than her (28-31), but the problem is that I tried and failed in multiple relationships with younger women. I was previously engaged to someone 6 years younger (I was born in 1985, she was born in 1991 - we were 31 and 25 when we met), and I also dated two girls born in 1998 while I was single, between my time with my ex-fiancé and my current wife. The problem I've found with most Gen Z women (which also applies to many so-called Zillennials like my ex) is that many of them have a lot of mental health issues and baggage that makes them less-than-ideal as marriage prospects. And many of them are simply not interested in settling down at all, either in their 20s OR 30s (when they get there). I do agree that it's not ideal to date a 30-something woman if you think that she's settling for you, and that she's alpha-widowed, but the grass is simply not greener with the below-30 crowd. 30-something women may be delusional for expecting that they're going to get a guy who's a perfect 10, but nowadays, a 30- or 40-something guy trying to wife up a typical 22-year old is just as delusional. Even IF you can date one (and I've done so), you might very well find the experience to be a case of, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
I dated a lot of women including older and younger and my same age, I was born in 1985 like you. I realized that before 2014, women of my age younger and older were more functional than today, I am from Mexico, but this is alik in almost everywhere. Social media changed a lot of women, if you found a lot of single mother or single women with no kids that were very easy to be with,this began to change when social media made them very sick. Now you see that all, specially the single mothers and the older women are very aggressive, they think that they have a lot of value. The thing is that I can say the opposite to you, is very difficult to get along with that kind of women because of that, but younger women are easier by far. You have to realize something: that if you encountered younger women with that kind of problemas, I can assure you that when they get older they will be worse. So In any case, you have to find younger women that don't have those issues.
@@codniggh1139 I hear what you're saying, and agree with you to some extent. I certainly think that every 30-something man should aspire to date younger 20-something women, and take advantage of the fact that he's in his peak SMV years. It is also true that, in theory, younger women are more adaptable. However, I do think that it's still WAY harder to find 20-something women who are marriage material nowadays, and that any man following the Manosphere's recommendation to ONLY date younger is setting himself up for failure. And at the end of the day, you can't make a 20-something woman into a wife if she would rather party and sleep around for as long as possible - and that is how too many of the Gen Z women think nowadays. I would say that the trends that you describe also started even a few years before 2014. I started noticing that the dating scene was becoming warped in the early-2010s, which is when Instagram and Tinder were first launched. I blame those two apps for most of the ills that afflict most modern young women and causing the decline of the dating scene.
@@BunyipDude well, I don't know in the USA, but I think is the same because I have seen similar behaviors, but women and men from new generations tend to be more isolated and tend not to go outside their homes as before, because social media and devices make people prisoner of this. Yes, surely there still are like that, but I think and I have noticed that the older the generation, the more they went to be more of parties and all of that stuff. Is amazing how even being adults, new generations are more like children than anything in this regard. People is becoming more coward to the life, so I don't have too much problem With that. Anyway, goo you were luck with your wife because most of good women that are not sick and crazy were married long ago.
@@codniggh1139 Have to admit that I can't compare - when I've been to Mexico, I've never been anywhere besides resorts in Cancun. I have no experience with the local culture. You are correct that with Gen Z (and now Gen Alpha), there is a tendency for them to spend more time in online communities/social media and never interact with anyone in real life. But for the girls who are putting themselves out there, they are showing the tendencies that I describe above. Still very irresponsible, though.
@@BunyipDude well, many things coincide independently of the country. I think that maybe the problem with them is where you got them, but still I think that are dar below intensity in going party as the older generations were.
Value is about how you value yourself. I’m 37 and left a bad marriage a couple years ago. I’ve never been told I was beautiful (by total strangers) more than in the last couple years. Probably because I’ve never been happier. For me, it’s much better not being married. If a man is disrespectful, you can walk away. If you’re married, you can’t. I can provide for myself financially. Women are expected to have full-time jobs and do most of the housework. It’s much more work having to take care of someone else than doing whatever I want. I have no interest in being a personal assistant again. I hope I’ll eventually meet an equal partner, but my life is much more peaceful and easy by myself for now, so I can’t relate to the content of this video.
My guy didn’t want to help around the house because he brought in more money. Me asking for his help made him feel like I wasn’t appreciating his monetary contributions. He saw it as me nagging or complaining. Did you split everything money wise with him?
i'm sorry but every old woman tells that story about how people keep telling her how beautiful she is or how younger men still hit on her, to cope with the fact she's old and not as attractive anymore
@@Victhemighty Where did I say anything about being hit on by younger men? Being 37 you now get hit on by guys in their late 20s up to guys in their 70s. The age range really opens up.
It amazes me how men still consider getting married in this day and age especially when a woman can leave the man and leave him financially ruined. Mind boggling.
It depends on what state of the union you are. Some states do not allow alimony and others do. Some states respect prenuptial agreements, and others don't. When it comes to child support, they are your children, so helping financially with children is the right thing to do.
Love this episode! My pride has gotten me far in terms of work ethic, but when it comes to taking a more active approach to dating I can see how it’s gotten in the way. We’re told constantly by other women that the man has to pursue because it’s in their nature, the whole “if he wanted to he would” etc. There are just so many “rules” on both sides these days that I don’t even know what’s natural: organic when it comes to dating anymore.
Social media ruined most of women from infinite attention from men, as a man i would have a hard time settling down with a normal person if i had 300 women dm'ing me consistently, the paradox of options is a real thing
@@mentoriii3475That’s a complete lie. You’re projecting from your own failures. Maybe social media ruined it for you because you have an excuse to not leave the house. Women will stay single until regularly men learn to be sexually attractive.
Many women who failed in their 30s become embittered and demanding in their 40s. There are plenty of 30-35 yo prospects for successful men who refuse to put up with an entitled and angry 45 year old who isn’t useful and supportive. This video contains great advice.
I think the reality is that it’s very hard to control who we love. I think most of us aren’t that logical to force ourselves to just pick the best option available on paper
I experienced it, I have had so many options the last 5 years but I kinda fell in love with a woman who I knew was trouble from the start. I think you confuse attraction with love. Love is a choice, attraction is not.
Nothing wrong with over 30's women. No need to panic. Guys are still game to marry you. Just chill. Economics is the problem in my opinion. Its hard for guys to build resources and they don't have faith in the future dealing with problems. They just need more time. Be patient and ignore the doom sayers.
I hope the women really listened to this because its solid advice! When I was younger (I'm 52 now) the women over 30 that I noticed were those who made an effort. In fact, I would argue that such women even have an advantage over younger women if they are attractive and kind. Men like to take the path of least resistance in the dating world so any attractive woman who makes an effort will put herself at a big advantage over most other women. Is it 100%? No, but nothing is. What it will do is great increase your odds of winning as a womam
yet women complain about life being not 100%....she'd literally tell you the only one time she tried making an effort and got nothing back from Chad, which served as a lesson or some sort of truama that led to her never trying again.
@@allenlin7333 Good points and yeah, women CANNOT handle rejection at all. Well, at least outward rejection and we don't outwardly reject them as hard as they reject us. Women actually do get rejected more than they realize but men tend to reject women on the back end. these are the guys women say are "emotionally unavailable" or are "afraid of commitment". They don't realize that they need to add two words to each of those phrases; "for me" or "with me". Women don't realize that the guys who won't commit to them have rejected them for a relationship but still want sex from them. it is the gendered equivalent of being friendzoned.
In theory women over 30 should be a lot more easy going /expecting less and easier to talk to because their market value is lower, however this is not what we see out there, its the opposite. I am having such a good time with this 22 yr old (Im 35) i dont ever want to date women my age
This. I used to prefer older woman because I assumed that they were less bratty, much more mature, and more reserved. Turns out that they're the same as younger woman, but even more bitter and resentful towards men due to their horrible past experiences with them.
@@thevisitor1012that was sometime ago,I am from Mexico and I realized rhr same,I am 38 When I was 28 or alike, that was the case with older women, but social media have made them to believe and behave as teenagers or worse because they have a lot of baggage. So, before 2014 was rrh case, after 2014 this changed. Social media is a curse for humanity.
@@thevisitor1012100%. My most successful and healthy long term relationship is currently with a woman much younger than me. She is far more mature, open to compromise and genuinely loving than any women I met my age. And she insists on paying 50/50 whenever possible. She loves contributing. Women my age mostly expected me to pay 99% of the time.
@@ST-yc7uj using her??? What do u mean. shes actually more girlfriend material than most ive met that are over 30. Shes quite accomplished actually, shes a third lieutenant in the army and working towards a fitness competition
I am 43, met the love of my life a year ago. We are engaged, he invested money into my new company, planning a family, we travel the world together, etc. before him I was single for 6 years by choice, I wasn’t even interested in meeting a man or dating…age doesn’t matter. He is 2 years older than me, I never been in a relationship with a man similar to my age before, all my previous men were all younger than me, the last was 7 years younger than me, we were together for 5 years, planning our wedding etc but I felt he wasn’t the man for me.
When I was in my 20s I had two serious relationships with men also in their 20s that I loved. Same as all the women I knew. What is this nonsense that men aren’t wanted in their 20s.
Together with the 5 endgames one of your best videos by far. You succeed beautifully at formulating mazy thoughts and ideas which exist in most of us into crystal clear statements and ideas. Thank you so much Dr. Taraban for your work, I'm glad I found your channel a while ago.
This is a beautifully done video. Although it's gonna be hard for women, it's really possible. Lots of your male audience won't want to hear this because of their resentment towards women.,
Bad take. Most men are happy to listen & try to understand any decent person operating in good faith. But there's no point "understanding" the POV of a spoiled rotten person who will not take accountability. In fact, really trying to empathize with a spoiled rotten person makes the problem worse as it just instills deeper bitterness.
@@chipsteve A spoiled rotten person was chosen and given the title wife. One ring I notice is nice guys marry and then let the wife run all over them. This should not be
The wall is nothing more than "people get older and look older" This whole "she now has to find," blah blah blah is a boring and played out attempt to manipulate women into unfulfilling relationships. Young people like to be young and have fun and are most times pretty shallow about it. As you get older I think most people learn "what's really important" while also wanting to settle down. You ever seen a group of 40-50 year old men trying to look like they are fitting in at the club? It's cringe as fuck. Mental and spiritual growth is the only way to attract a great partner and I think that’s whats lacking in people today.
Of course a WOMAN can STILL find a man. Sure, as PsycHacks says, it would be the BASIC BOB (the "settleDOWN" man). But for Basic Bob, he will either enter into a dead (or duty) bedroom. If not, Basic Bob will get divorced because the wife wants to "find herself," or "becomes bored." The "wall" is NOT about her looks, but her BAGGAGE. The woman in her 30's already been to every restaurant around town. She already traveled. She been through this. She has been through this. She already has a bunch of bags her exes or herself bought for her. What the heck can Basic Bob do? She already experienced that fancy restaurant. She will just throw Basic Bob's present next to the rest of her bags she bought. She already experienced Chad-Rone's skills. What can Basic Bob do versus Chad in the bed? Basic Bob can't keep his wife from becoming "bored."
I will say it till someone hears it....if she has sex with you quickly she has had sex with others quickly....the mess of it all is on you for saying yes.
The problem with what you're saying is that nowadays, most Gen Z girls (the current generation of 20-something women) are about as ran-through as the Millennial women who are now in their 30s. By the time that they're in their early-20s, they are more likely to have double or even triple-digit body count, slept with partners of both sexes, etc. when compared to women of previous generations. (And there is a LOT of data to back what I am saying.) They also just don't tend to have the same values as Millennial women or older generations: Most of them are woke, most of them do not see marriage to anyone besides a perfect guy as desirable, and many of them have severe mental health issues brought on by a combination of their seggsual baggage and social media addiction. When I was single, I dated two Zoomer girls - both of them had serious personality issues that led me to part ways with them within a few months. I'm now married to someone closer to my age who isn't perfect, but doesn't have nearly as many red flags as the Zoomers that I was with.
Lol when I was last chosen as the "basic Bob" her poor little world was rocked in bed. She was so, so, so confused that the sex was beyond anything she had experienced from her disinterested Chads. She hardly managed to crawl away from her perceived Beta Bob.
I mean, he had another video as well where he addressed the wall. You keep seeing women saying "the wall" doesn't exist and "I found a Guy over 30 you're just crazy", but these arguments completely miss the point. The wall doesn't mean its impossible to get a man. It just means you greatly drop off the sexual dating market at that point and maybe now have too high of standards going forward.
This is very interesting. I feel fortunate that I met my husband when I was 26. He was 36. We have a nice life, 2 kids, 15 years in, we have our routines & have made strides on our goals. I'm content. It's nice to have a partner in life. I can not even imagine dating now in my mid-40's. God forbid something happened to my husband, I would probably just stay single. It seems like a lot of work these days to find a mate.
It's over for most of them because they choose for it to be over. They keep increasing their standards. They continue to never ask what men actually want. They get more and more bitter. And they continue to completely reject the idea that they're chasing men out of their league. They actually believe that their SMV increases with age. Their delusional thinking is a choice. As long as they refuse to make any effort to be realistic, they'll remain single.
@@TheAustrianPainter87 That's it. They judge themselves the same way they judge men. They refuse to believe we care about different things. Like two guys shopping for a vehicle. One needs a work truck and the other needs a mid life crisis sports car. They're going to be attracted to completely different aspects of a vehicle. One that's perfect for one will be absolutely worthless to the other. Same thing with men and women.
This is easily the best video directed towards women (of any age, let's be real) by any man or woman on youtube in regards to dating marketplace expectations.
@@FreshGreenMoss Agreed that the vast majority won't. In my opinion every American woman over 30 would benefit from hearing this episode by Dr. Tariban--most especially the story about how women used to drop their handkerchief in front of a man they were interested in so they had a reason to interact!!!
I met my wife 20yrs ago at 23. In that time I’ve watched half her friends “settle” for great guys and mostly live happily thereafter. The other half knocked back guy after guy for more and more trivial reasons. Inc wrong style jacket. Like a Seinfeld episode. Sad sight to see them now alone in one bedroom apartments, watching us all raise children and move forward with our lives while they still talk about one night stands and what they need from their Mr right.
The point is, they are STILL not looking for the average John, they are looking for the 10% guys that are looking for younger women. It was never about getting a good man, if its not the 10 or maybe 15% guys at the top they prefer to keep looking until they are 40s and maybe then too late. Settle for “less” its the same as settling for the worse in their understanding.
It is ur beliefs you guys. 30 is still young. My sister found a men at 42 lol my aunt at 50 lol. I'm not sure why they speak about 30 lyk it's 60 I think it's because if u want to have children maybe but I don't so it doesn't matter what age u find somebody
its most women in general do not know what they want, which is why they waste their time. When they turn 30 their psychological perspective shifted, fearing that they are being replaced by women in their 20's and this is why you see a lot of women making TikTok videos bragging about it.
@@olyalya6380my mom found a great guy when they were both over 50… Both divorced with kids so coming from the same background. He pays almost everything and she takes care of him
I don’t know if what I am about to write in paragraph #2 is entirely true or false. It is based on reading many comments to Orion’s videos, plus a couple first hand experiences below. Possibly only Orion-hating fem activists write comments, but…. It appears most women reflexively dismiss Orion’s ideas. They would rather throw stones than listen. I forwarded a couple of Orion’s videos to women I knew and their heads exploded. One I never heard from again. The other whom I dated for 3.5 years is still in contact, but only after months of silence. (I won’t go into the particulars of either woman - gentlemen don’t discuss it, so don’t ask.) Based on these experiences I won’t forward Orion’s work to another woman in the future. They don’t want to hear it, and doing so poisons any future dialogue I might have. “The first rule of Fight Club is…..”
@@mrsherwood2599 Yes. Most women don’t seem to want to succeed with men. They apparently would rather be passive victims than active participants in finding success. No wonder so many men have given up also on relationships. It’s a swamp.
The problem is once humans get stuck on their highest setting, they won't be happy with less. This is little issue for men, as their SMV tends to grow over time, accommodating this mentality. However, women's SMV decline leads to them either never finding a relationship with someone good enough, or settling for a man who they will never really love. Both outcomes are miserable.
Genius! The best metaphor in a long time: "Dropping the handkerchief". Congrats! "Questa è una ottima battuta". And, we man, if we want "that", we have to be aware of "Dropped Handkerchiefs".
Asking for directions can be the dropped handkerchief. You don't know the area, you're trying to find this address, does he by chance know where Fogerty Street is, your GPS doesn't seem to be working...
I've spoken to a number of women recently who were inappropriately pessimistic about their chances of getting married, simply due to their age. While it's true that women operate under an increasing disadvantage in the sexual marketplace in their 30s, that doesn't mean they can't still win. They just need to change their strategy. In this episode, I discuss further.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#dating #relationship #women
Older women can win but should they. Not only her age but her history is an indication of future success for a man with these women. Many men believe that these women settling for them is a win but if she has had what she perceives as a better man, her current man is a pit stop to replenish resources and confidence until she replaces him in the future. Older women win more then they should because men invest for the long term, as these women quietly invest in him for the short term
Orion, I do have to ask: How many of these women expressed a willingness to settle somewhat for a man who isn’t necessarily the tallest or particularly rich, but rather more average in both departments? Would you say that you’ve observed that some women over 30 remain picky long after the odds start to become stacked against them?
@@Alexxx492 Wow, really? I never thought that a woman can use this advice and not disregard it as a misogyny. Congratulations for your success! =-)
@@Alexxx492 I'd consider learning about the term "hyperbole", but to each their own ;-) In any ways, good job.
Good luck spreading this message. You forgot all women are queens now.
I have a lot of female friends in their late 30 I would love to send this to but 95% of them would rather die alone than be humbled. Pride comes before the fall
😂😂😂😂😂 Talk about choosing to die alone than to change their ways and behaviours
Pride truly is a ‘deadly’ sin for women because of how unattractive it makes them, and how they then paint themselves into a corner of perpetual singledom. Pride works differently for men as it instills confidence which is attractive.
This is evolution. Darwinism will weed out all the women who can't find a way to be under a man.
Because let's be honest, most of this stems from feminism and their pride. Power struggle
After spending 15 years receiving free attention, time and resources, scoffing at men. These women have do not have the fortitude or dexterity to remodel their behaviour to suit their new disadvantaged position. So it’s safe to say it’s over for these Oes.
I made an episode on that: "Women's greatest enemy"
I'm a 45 year old man in NYC. I've done online dating, speed dating, and singles mixer too. Most of the women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s have not changed their strategy. They are still waiting for some handsome and exciting man to sweep them off their feet.
That is unfortunately an old embedded cultural standard that no longer helps women. Hopefully information like this will be heard and utilized.
Given current events, women in NYC may want to avoid getting swept off their feet right now.
I'm 48 in michigan. I was a "loser" in my 20's and 30s so I spent a lot of time in college and working.
It's so easy to get a woman now and they are so abundant. I don't use Internet dating. I can tell by the way they dress if they are single. I can also tell if they want me to ask them out by the way they act.
I hardly ever miss.
Same. Was a loser until 25. Killed it from 25 to 39. Going back out to date soon at 55, but doing it in person. Much easier than online dating, cuz I'm average looking but hilarious and smart.
@@boethius1812 But where? I'm 40 divorced and the dating apps are awful. They inflate women's sense of value so high they're insufferable.
´more agressive approach´ does not mean more angry, it means you have to actually put effort in.
Everyone with a brain should have understood that.
@@Pascal_Mueller You'd be surprised
Good point. So many of them get that confused.
They get aggressive because they can't get the man they want they see it as settling.
😂
I'm so glad you clarified this for them!
I've seen some ridiculous Ridddiculous understanding over the past few years from some smart looking women 😅
And yes, we're having a bit of fun here too, so we take this lightly 😊
I have a younger sister (32) who can't seem to get out of the cycle of dating guys for years and years and years until she finally starts putting the pressure on to pop the question only to then see them run for the hills because they don't want to commit. As much as I'd love to send her Orion's content because I know it would 100% help if she were open-minded, she is also very left-wing in her thinking and is the epitome of girl boss. I doubt she would make it even 60 seconds into a clip like this one before closing it and rage texting me back.
You never know when the truth might set someone free.
The fact that she shows resistance towards any form of change is a red flag in its own right. There's no way she'll have a happy marriage if she remains this way.
Modern western women are impervious to facts, logic and wisdom. Let her suffer in her self-made hell.
Do the right thing and send her the video. Let her hate you for a bit. Just keep speaking the truth. Nothing is worse for you or the people you love than to be afraid to tell the truth
I have a cousin like that. I am done talking. Crazy luck apart, unless some casual sex leads to pregnancy, I am very pessimistic about her future.
My wife was 30+ when I’ve met her.
She made an effort, she respected my time and money, she was supportive, hard working and smart.
Where did you find her?
Which hand is it? Right or left?
@@chadcadsonvii5258 sounds very mean of you?! :(
Gross 🤮
How did she "respect your money"?
"Most women turn out OK, that is most women end up in a decent relationship. They may not end up in a relationship with the man they'd prefer (...)"
That's one hell of a compromise and it explains why so many men get no respect from their wives: these men were just consolation prizes to their women, as they were never the first choice. How is that a good ending?
They don't see it as a decent relationship. That's why they are angry and bitter.
Orion's conclusion is right from a man's point of view, but not a woman's.
We are worth what we can get. This is what happens to women whose preference is instead a demand, and to men who choose or choose to stay with such women
80+ percent of women resent their husbands because they had to "settle"
Would you be willing to give up your life protecting a woman who sees you as her 7th choice? No chance I am doing it. Listen very carefully to their words and they will tell you how they see you. If they say something like "Sex is not the highest priority!" just ask yourself if they would say that to Ronaldo or whoever their 1st choice is. No chance.
Yeah women see this as "settling". They secured a man but not the kind of man they want, this is easily noticeable on the amount of disrespect they put their man and how many hoops he have to jump. Most of these men lack the self-respect to walk away, allowing this cycle to continue ad nauseam.
It amazes me how many US women over 50 not only think the game isn't over yet, but have demands just as high as when they were in their 20s. And then they are surprised they stay single.
it's global
Zero surprises for an over 50:female. They WANT to remain single, or they have major psychological baggage.
That's why I prefer higher interest women only. I find American women more reasonable than Northern European women generally. My best experiences mostly
Truth. High milage cars with tons of rust and a broken fender expecting MSRP+. 😂
The delusions do not go away just with time
I went on a date with a 31yr lady last year, and when she decided that I wasnt her guy, she literally said "Im going to die alone", on the date.
I also dated a 35 yr that told me at the end that she was going to try artificial help to have a baby.
Both girls seemed hopeless.
Damn, you're fun..
😂😂😂 she literally said that on a date...
Women can be incredibly picky and unrealistic. This is one sounds like a drab downer. The problem's with her, not you.
Should have got her a cat and a wine bottle.
Uh, you should step up your game asap :))
I have been dating over 30 for 14 years now. My dating life has been great. The women I’ve met have been great and reasonable.
There are so many quality women out there, and if you can’t find them maybe you aren’t as amazing as you think you are. Honestly consider that. Blame other people all you want, but if you aren’t getting the dating results that you want, it’s on you. Love finds the lovable. Know that fact. If you aren’t getting results, that’s life telling you that you are fucking up somehow.
lmao you can do everything right and still fuckup. Can't change someone genetics no matter how hard they try. If you are a tall white guy I'm sure you have it good.
law of attraction! there’s so many great people out there. both sides are just too bitter for their own good
Preach
This is very hard to believe. You've met multiple wmn over 30 who were "great and reasonable"? You seem to be the only one with this capability. What's your secret?
I agree with you. I think many that are left alone and complaining from both genders, share similar characteristics… like the idealism, delusion and somehow still wanting a 10/10 for no reason. It’s not about dropping your standards, it’s more about being open, realistic and willing to do the work to make yourself better (working out, improving looks, personality, etc)
I came here as a boy who wanted to get women🤡 but I came out as a man interested in psychology , history and genetics 🗿 .
Hahah true :)
great cathalysis effect.
@@VaronPlateando Amen
😅
It requires women over 30 to be accountable and put in work?
They're doomed 😂
correct.
Time is the only thing that can humble the modern Jezebel.
@@TheAustrianPainter87even then, they’d rather get smacked by an 18 wheeler than to admit their failures.
You comment is funny but it highlights a problem. Our society is structured to create lemmings out of women because they aren't being taught this stuff by default.
@@TheAustrianPainter87 they will blame men forever in order to maintain their egos
As a guy in his thirties, I definitely get along more with women who are around my age. I definitely still think they're attractive and I kinda prefer them over "younger" women. As long as they have similar values, can understand me on a deeper level and have chemistry with me.
Of course you are, and how can a woman in her 30s could not "still" be attractive? 30s are a very young age and especially for women.
I’m in my early thirties too and I know exactly what you’re talking about. I tend to have longer lasting relationships with older women anyway and there are tons of women over thirty who look gorgeous because they’ve still been taking care of themselves
I also prefer to be with someone my own age. 😊
@@Trynottoblink you are a mature man
That's really only because there are so few feminine 20 something year old chiks out there so the next best thing r the feminine 30 somethings ......
There is a "I'll be the way I am, if he does not accept me for that it's his loss", kind of laissez-faire pandemic in the attitude of women in this cohort, that blinds them from their own failings. Those that continue this way into their 40s end up with cats, those that get out of this hole, have made some effort towards self-development and making themselves attractive, and useful to the men their desire to have any sustainable relationships with. The rest are just loony bins, beware and keep them at bay.
yeah, society promotes a lot of the no-effort laissez-faire attitude in women a lot of the time "You go Queen, ain't nothing wrong with you, it's obviously all the men out there!" Excessive cope.
Most men behave like what you describe within a marriage. "I am who I am and if you like it if you don't that's your problem it is you who will have to change" an attitude which does not work. And, who are you to judge the "failings" of others? where you living under the same circumstances and with the same genetic make up with this or the other person? It is not who is more perfected who may get a good partner but the most compatible with the other.
💯🎯
@14margott the nerve of YOU to judge what you think "most men" do. Who are you to judge the perceived failures of men?
Stop being a hateful hypocrite and grow up
I laughed so hard 😂😂That is exactly the story of S.. and the city. if Mr. Big doesn't like me but the more helpful woman, he is too weak for my strong wild horse attitude. If I don't shower as a man , the women didn't like my wild 🐎 attitude either. 😂
Victorian Taraban is the version we didn’t know that we needed.
Women always have an option even if its not the option they want🤣
They would rather die alone if they didn’t get Drake.
An option for sex, yes, but maybe not for marriage.
@@johnroberts3824 Simps of the World “You underestimate my Power🔥”
True. A woman can be 70 and still have simps willing to risk it all for some dusty pvssy 😂
@Boxingchampion851😂😂😂
I typically prefer a woman that's closer to 30 than closer to 20, simply because they do have more life experience and the potential to have developed more of a personality and appreciation for quality men. The only problem is, many of them have done neither of those.
It's not your age, it's your attitude. Same goes for men.
Spot on! 🙌
More sexual experiences before they become asexual with you whilst you foot the bill for a massive mortgage?
Dude, you are absolutely killing it with this channel. Fantastic content.
Anyone else think Orion should do a reading of a Jane Austen novel? The impersonations of the Victorians was great 😂
I would actually pay to watch that!
Exactly what I was thinking 😂😂
Orion was a professional actor before he became a clinical psychologist. He’s just reliving old theatre roles.
Aunt Melba lol
Can I have some info about this reference?
If a woman want's a man, it's easy. She just needs to figure out what that man wants... and give it to him. If she wants to keep that man, keep figuring out what he wants and keep giving it to him. It really is that simple, but the vast majority of women are too prideful to do this.
And therefore they will remain single and full of bitterness. Its just a small matter or fraction of changing their behaviours what they want..... But instead choose the upside🤨🤨
Supply value in the relationship (i.e. bring to the table) is a foreign concept to many women.
Get your passports, gentlemen. Problem solved!
No way a 60 old women can persuade me anymore. She has to sacrifice herself. If I were her , I would never do it.
And luckily, for women, they can just ask men what they want and we will tell them. Unlike women who keep it all a secret and want you to be a mind reader.
Oh Doc, ~ you'll never know how deeply this little chat strikes with me - you're my main man these days - keep it up ~ thanks again 😊
This guy is really good. I mean the most sage wisdom I’ve ever come across on this topic. But I’d bet a lot of it falls on deaf ears. Like he says, I was an invisible 20 something year old guy but I knew that it wouldn’t stay that way forever.
The problem is women intgeir 30s often come with baggage. Example children from multiple men and alot of emotional hurt fro dealing with fboys in their 20s . And they still expect a happy ending
Men too. Relationships may not workout or you may have not gotten the right guidance growing up. But as long as you’ve healed and learned you qualify for a happy ending. People can change man. Stop being so rigid in this redpill philosophy
@@Donolouiyou can’t really go men to, when majority of men under a certain age bracket has no kids.👀
@@Donoloui😂😂😂 Congratulations you have earned your black belt in simpjutsu
@@matgamer5916 absolutely. In the black community 54 percent of black men are single and childless.
No he has a Point. Men can carry baggage as well, People handle their burdens differently.
Respect goes to people who make the best out of it
I like how he’s howling in the wind. Logical and on point, but effectively speaking in front of an empty auditorium.
A few women hear him but think he's wrong 😄
That’s why I refused to be a dating coach. It’s a waste of time.
Yup. Selling the dream is still the most effective way. Which is sad. And condescending. And when it works, the groundwork is laid for contempt. Yuck.
@@chipsteve what an accurate yet saddening truth
He’s saying to women they need to settle and go for loosers who can’t commit or treat them unfairly just so they can marry.
Thank you, Orion. Women in their twenties have several advantages and they have no problem competing against you for any man they want for any reason. However, any woman can change the odds by doing the one thing no one expects. Be what the man wants in a partner.
I'm a man, but from what I've seen... A woman who takes care of her body keeps most of her value on the sexual marketplace no matter how old she gets. Some of their options may go away, but they will never experience anything close to the scarcity that men are facing. The real "wall" that most women encounter is when they become overweight. Most men do not prefer obese women, and most single over-30 American women are obese. I'm not trying to be mean, this is just honest advice that I think we need to destigmatize. Staying in shape is easily the most important thing any woman can do to be attractive, but for some reason we have just collectively agreed not to point it out. And besides that, people should be staying fit anyways because IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND IMPROVES ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.
🎯💯 agree. Save for times when it’s out of a person’s control (injury, medication side effect etc) allowing yourself to get to that point says a lot. It is very telling, yet completely unacceptable to say this out loud.
This is objectively wrong, options close fast
@lchpdmq you are objectively wrong
Truth has been written
Almost any woman can get a man. The problem is that she will almost always end up being disappointed with him.
The amount of women I know - who I KNOW are setting for whoever will LTR them, then bragging they've found their "soulmate" on FB... Holy crap...
It's cuz they are delusional.
women overestimate their worth due to the fabricated economy built around pretending women are doing better than they are. in my high school, they even gave girls teams more money than guys teams in competitions to "even it out".
I prefer women who are fit, feminine, friendly, financially smart, forward thinking, and most of all, faithful.
If a woman is in her 30's but has all these, she's good in my book. 😊
Always remember that there is probably a very valid reason why she's still single. Take your time.
Facts!!
Good luck finding that. That is VERY RARE. It was already rare for a woman in her 20's. It gets EXPONENTIALLY RARE >30.
Dork
Exactly!
I live in a country and a city where nobody from upper middle class get marry before 32-35 years old. Women over 30 are young and beautiful.
What country?
❤❤❤
Korea/Japan?😅
EXACTLY!
Exactly. I am 30. And until I reached a certain financial goal I didn't even think about getting married at all. Like marrying in 20s is a nonsense. 20s are for building a career, studying, traveling, finding yourself. In my opinion, a person in their 20s is not a ready person yet. 30s are a different story. You have a career, money, perhaps own a house. Priorities set, you are secure about yourself. ☺️
Man this video is great. Such a clear way to explain the game. Uncomfortable yes, but it’s great seeing both sides being told.
Honestly I have never heard anyone encourage women to improve themselves. This is brilliant.
The right man will do, they have to improve of they want to keep a man who has standard
Really? Is in your first day on the Internet?)
@@schnee78 Who else have you heard on the internet encourage women to improve themselves?
@@hrthrhs there us a lot of content for women how to become the so called high value woman and so on. Can't remember the names because I am not really into such things. There is a ton of books also.
@@schnee78 all those books do is tell women that they are perfect they way they are and men are always the problem, same thing for female youtubers
Premise 1: I want kids.
Premise 2: you need 5-8 years to really get to know if a woman is a somewhat safe choice for a wife and mother of your children.
Premise 3: a pregnancy after 35 is called a geriatric pregnancy.
Join the dots.
Absolutely true. If you are male & want children it makes zero sense to date women over 35. It is possible to form a solid relationship in 3-5yrs, so a woman at 30 might be OK. Not everyone wants children. With great communication skills you have greater options. (Married at 29 after 5yrs shacked up, child at 36 & still married 27yrs)
I am mixed on kids. If I have them I have them.
I have two standards. 35 or older I want to date a woman who doesn't want them or is not sure, less chance of pressure.
Under 35, I want a woman who wants them, then I can do that vetting.
True…. But 1st cousin married at 35 to younger man…. Two kids. Another first cousin about 34…. 4 kids to younger man. Sister married 7 year younger husband at 34…. Decided she wanted kids at 38…. One kid at 39 and second at 42. It’s better when younger but not a done deal.
no smart woman is going to waste 5-8 years for you to decide if she’s a “safe choice” and this is coming from a 25 year old. it doesn’t take nearly that long you just want to use up her prime years.
@@VanessaKiarahow Long then ? Nobody wasted their time, they did
My two cents: Some women over 30 are way bomb. Some even have 100% the looks. Though, nothing is more important than faith, personality, empathy, positivity, humor, and honesty (even blunt honesty). Extra points if she has skills. Oh, and she should know how to cook.
FFCAN - Fit Feminine Compliant Affectionate Nurturing. A woman either fits into your lifestyle or she doesn't. That's all there is.
So this clip told me already what I knew never get with a woman post 28 - 29 and definitely not after 30.
Because you don't want to end up as the man she had to settle for as her first choices didn't work out, and she remains in a constant bitterness and disappointed stage as you were neve her first choice.
🤨🤨
Shitty way to look at it but yeah that could be what happens or it could not
hate to break it to ya, but for most of us guys, most of the time...we're never going to be their "first choice."
Well said
@@agentm83 Same applies to women. Do you think men settle with their "first choice" or second or third? Most men settle with whichever woman is willing to be with them.
Listening to these types of videos is the only time I don’t mind being kind of old. None of this crap happened when I was younger. I did things the old fashioned way. After being with my girlfriend for two months I got her pregnant. We’re married 30 years next month and raised three sons to adulthood. We named our middle one Orion and thought we were being unique. I don’t know about now a days but the only way to make marriage work is just to decide to make it work. There’s no secret. We probably talked about getting divorced a few times over the year’s earlier in the marriage, but just didn’t. Now neither of us would even consider such a stupid thing. Neither of us could live the life we’re living now if we split up and we know at this stage neither of us would find anyone better and we don’t want to.
💯👌👌I salute you bro......
Needed to read this. Bless you bro 🫡
Men STILL want this. women totally changed.
HEAR! HEAR!
I think younger generations have such a warped and unrealistic view of marriage and relationships .. they seem to expect that it will be fun most of the time and that headaches will be minimal. They bought into the Disney/lifetime movie fantasies
I'm 37, single and have 2 kids. Most of my (old) friends have ended up in the same spot. What "the internet" seems to forget, is that where there is a single mom, there is also a single dad. They tend to date in that pool, there are a lot of people who are in that situation actually. Many also prefer to stay single (or have fwb) until the kids are older and they have more free time to spend on a relationship again. People who are not thinking about reproduction anymore are pretty chill when it comes to dating, there is no rush. Scarcity mindset makes people desperate and unattractive. It's all about self development/growth and hopefully having learned lessons from the past to apply in the future. If you put in the work to be a good human, there will be someone for you.
If you haven't had kids yet but want them, i do believe the 30's is probably the worst time to try and find a healthy relationship. Way too many women are afraid for their biological clock running our and make bad partner choices. Then again, i started my relationship at 25, and waited 6 years to have kids, and the relationship failed as well. So good luck out there y'all!
its harsh out there for sure, Im not worried about kids myself as a man thats why Im not rushing relationships at all, Id rather be in my 30s to have more stability for my own peace of mind.
best of luck for you out there!
it is funny that you say that "hopefully learned lessons from the past" because I like to say that "smart people learn from their mistakes, but the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others. which is why I've never done drugs or smoked, never gotten married or moved a woman in and I've never tattoed myself either.
Yes my friends did the right thing and still got the short in of the stick. More than one are divorced and with the child or children. Got divorced in their 20s. I think the odds of it working out with the type of characters a girl dates in high school and their 20s in America is pretty slim.
Are you a single mom or coparenting ?
@@Jaycarbrownie12 We co-parent, why?
Yeah, this matches my experience pretty well. Women are not destined to be alone once they reach the age of 30. They just have to give up this "I deserve this" and "he betta that" and "I know my worth now" BS that you see all over the internet.
A regular, average man in his late thirties would rather be with a fit, feminine, friendly, low-maintenance woman in her 30s who makes his life easier and more comfortable than continue to work his ass off to deal with annoying, high-maintenance party girls in their 20s. Chad will still mess with those girls, but a regular dude would just be happy with a steady 6 who makes his life better.
So ladies, if you're in your 30s and you want a man, you have to do something you've never had to do in your entire life, and probably no one has ever told you. You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things - with a smile on your face. If you're not willing to do that, that's fine. But you're going to end up alone like all these other 30+ women who think they can give everything away for free in their 20s, but men will still be willing to wife them up in their 30s in return for absolutely nothing.
Vetting is what Christians do all the while during courtship..the world lost their mind....old fashioned values will win... even if ya all don't like it.
Well said
Women in their thirties generally just start dating men in their twenties. A whole new crop of desperate guys
@literal: _"You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things"_
I thought you were serious until I saw this, then I knew you were trolling. Women finding out what a MAN wants? That's utter fantasy!!
But men need to find out what women want and are attracted to as well. I see many guys acting like they are going to live out the remainder of their life without a mate and be happy but I think they are fooling themselves. Only a tiny % of men and women can live their life without a mate and be fine and they are not the types to watch content like this lol
Thanks!Wonderfully instructive! The story about dropping a handkerchief in Elizabethian England with plausible deniability is pure genius!!
There was a Miss USA pageant queen who was terrified of being alone after 30 so much and at the height of the online community pushing the whole "you're going to die alone" narrative that she took her life, jumping out of her highrise apartment at the young age of 30. 😢 Ladies, please don't be so hard on yourself- ESPECIALLY if you are truly beautiful, with a beautiful heart and mind. Life is never over. Where there is hope (and knowledge to do better), there is Future. ❤
lmaooo, she had alot more issues than that...like major instability, the inability to think like a normal adult at 30, prob depression, etc.
She should’ve checked her inbox and dms
You are such a no nonsense plain spoken therapist. Love your psych hacks
Youre so right. Im single in my 30s and its because I never put put in the effort to drop my handkerchief so to speak. I didnt put any effort or put myself out there but its because I felt so unworthy and had a lot of trauma so I spent a lot of my 20s cloistered in my room figuring out my internal struggles so i can be a healthy partner to somebody else as well as myself. Thats why I feel like if you love your daughter its even more important and pertinent to love, keep them safe, care and value them when they are young so they dont waste their youth to trauma, negative mental health etc.and figuring it out. Thats why parents treat their sons differently than their daughters. Its not about double standards and eventually the woman will grow up and realize their parents were just trying to protect them
Want to have a leg up on your female competition ladies? Then be fit, feminine, and friendly. Lose the weight and no excuses. And like Dr. Taraban said, you need to make yourself available. Lastly, you must drop your excessive standards as you, like the men out there are mostly average. That's right, you're not special, you are average.
I'm 39 and done with men. Never been happier. The things they did to me, starting with my father, is nothing short of a horror movie (from psychological torture to physical violence) I am finally free of them and recuperating. Feeling happier and more peaceful every day.
It may be that your relationship with your father affected the type of partners you chose later in life. I’m very sorry to hear about your experience and will pray for you. John 3:16-18
Good for you! Women don’t need men. A strong woman can take care of herself financially and emotionally, no man needed especially the toxic cocky ones ughh.
Do not subscribe to this global nonsense propaganda that women will die alone they need to marry otherwise they will die alone with a cat.
I will take 5 cats before I marry a narcissist jerk who treats me horrible. Any day any time, cats please hahaha!
Ariana, I hope you continue on your journey and be happy, fulfilled in career and loved by the ones around you!
See ya!
My own mother and sister did terrible things to me, but I've met many other women in my life, so I know for a fact that not all women are like them. It isn't fair to accuse every other woman in the world of the sh*t my mother and sister did to me. That doesn't make sense... But hey, that's just me.
It sounds like to me this has to do with your relationship with your father only, I know this is touchy subject there. But you cannot judge every single men you see in public places just because what happened to you. Not every men out there are terrible, they are good men out there for you. You just haven't approach to any of them. You need a man who likes you and is kind to you.
I know this wasn't intended to be funny, it truly isn't, but I couldn't stop laughing throughout it. Great job, sir!
I spit out my coffee when he said "women need to learn and adjust to what MEN want..."
@@josealexi5141 and God forbid you tell women that lmaoooo thats the funniest part of all
Not all single women in their 30’s were picky or have high expectations when they were younger, some of these women were ugly or insecure or had illnesses, and once they get rid of these issues they become attractive and beautiful in their 30’s and men are easy to judge wondering why they are single it’s because they were invisible to men so don’t judge so quickly (speaking from experience)
I was a late bloomer. Also, though culturally my fam is not for the boyfriend-girlfriend relationships...I got caught up in that multiple year "relationship" twice with no end goal in mind, so here I am lol. There's levels to this 😅
Yes it is not so "black and white".
That’s not really taking accountability though is it? How do you go from being ugly in your 20s but are now better looking in your 30s with out accepting a lack of responsibility in your 20s?
@@kevinmckeever7653 lal u not responsible for your bad genes
@@kevinmckeever7653what’s your problem?
I am middle eastern and it is not that easy because people think our values are weird lol. I don’t drink, smoke, and hate clubs. I like to dance just not in that environment. Sex is for marriage for me. It is hard to find someone you like with similar values! Men from my community want an IG model. I don’t think they understand that without IG those apps are not real life. Good luck everyone 💗
they want IG models to do all kind of "other" stuff with them in Dubai
@@TransgirlsEnjoyer yeah but they are going to get older and by that time the good ones are gone or it is too late for kids
@@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner yep modern lifestyle seems to negatively affect biological fertility in both sexes. Modern adult kids don't want kids, I m like that but I will be willing to give up being a kid for a girl like u
Have you ever thought about looking at other men in different areas based on infrastructure/blue collar department, mostly men over there tend to have class. There is this saying, "it's not if you can live with him, it's if you can't live without him". If he were to propose and you aren't sure, then he isn't the guy for you. Kindness trumps intelligence. It doesn't matter how intelligent he is, if he isn't nice, it won't matter. You need a husband that likes you and is kind to you. And the most important thing in his life is you. I hope this helps you understand things.
@@AndrewTheVikings I don’t really care too much what he does as long as he can provide and be physically there(some jobs they work forever) I see no point in being in a relationship if he is never there. I think it could be my area and also I don’t really go to places like clubs. I wouldn’t know where to meet guys my age that accept a woman that doesn’t have sex or drink. We’re the outcasts and I am fine with it. Yesss you are speaking FACTS! I am so tired of people telling me “he is intelligent” lol so? As long we get along and we can work as a team, we are good. And you are right, I have to like the person inside and out or else I will resent that person and vice versa.
The real issue is that an ever growing number of men have come to the realization that marriage to a modern, westernized, feminized woman is devoid of the benefits that came with marrying a traditional woman.
Unless women become traditional again, and the family laws change where no-fault divorce is abolished, child custody is more even, and there is no such thing as alimony, men are simply checking out of the entire game.
There is no longer any benefit with marriage in today's culture and all a man really gains from entering that contract is enormous risk.
Only 6 in 1000 men are choosing to get married because of our new cultural norms.
These next few decades are going to be rough for women, no matter what their age is.
Well said.
Good 👍 I hope these strong and independent ladies get every drop of that sweet sweet karma baby
Or not
@@chadcadsonvii5258 you know what they say about those who ASSume
Well I guess it is going to be hard for everyone, not only for woman.
After being treated like dirt by women for most of my life, I find it impossible to sympathize with their problems.
I understand, but be careful to never let hate rule you're live my friend, it's a terrible master, and no good for you. Stay strong :)
I'm 23 and pretty much have lost all hope, now if I even do become successful all I'm gonna think about is her trying to manipulate me...
Lmaoooo
And viceversa
@@isaiahexileMy advice? Work on understanding women's issues from their point of view (took me about 5 years of watching hundreds of hours of video), and learn to pass their shit tests. They will respect you more and more throughout this process.
the average man’s SMV is not higher than the average woman’s SMV at 30+. women always have more options than men. just because you’re a 30 man with your stuff together, doesn’t mean women all of sudden flock to you, unless you’re a famous celebrity.
Yes that’s true but they are massively easier to get. I literally just saw an example of this last night. It didn’t take an hour and she was ready to do business😏just because the guy had his own business and a car(and she was quite attractive too)
You’re not being empathetic dude. Guessing you’re a guy, so sex then relationships, chicks are the opposite. Sure any chick that’s not terrible can find a guy to fuck her, it’s can she get him to stick around after. The younger the more beautiful/fertile/virginal a women so more guys want to date her. On the other hand women value power, if you’re a guy in his thirties you’ve been in the game for a decade or two, one would hope you’re more powerful than the teens! Think the fella in the comment above is planning on wifing up the barren chick he fucked?
Dr. Taraban possesses such a rich linguistic repertoire, every time I see him speak, as a non-native, I find myself absorbing new vocabulary in the English language! Hats off to your mastery of expression, sir!
Women changing and taking accountability for their faults? If it didn’t happen before the age of 30 (leading them to landing a man who propose to them), it isn’t going to happen after 30 (which is too late for HVM).
Generally (anecdotally) 30+ women double down on their narcissism… So yeah, no. Nothing changes. 🤷♂️😂
Of course it's not over. There will always be suckers who will overpay for a mediocre product.
P. T. Barnum said that there is a sucker born every minute.
How sad is it that you’ll find someone in their 20s and when they age you’ll label them a mediocre product.
@@Donoloui A woman with a husband, a home and kids in her 30s is not mediocre by any means. She's exceptional by today's standards.
@@DonolouiI didn't interpret the comment that way, but I can see where you're coming from. I saw it more as there being value in being with someone when you're both younger and have been together for some time, like a 25-year-old being with someone for several years. In that scenario, you were with them when you both were arguably higher value or there was less "baggage" from living life. Like, if you've had a car from when it was mostly new versus being in the position of having to buy it much farther into its lifespan. I'm sure someone out there has or will, but I would like to hope someone wouldn't be with their wife for years if they met young and consider them a mediocre product. I think the distinction is having to choose the person later in their life as your first experience with them versus them being that age as a function of time spent together.
I have seen what happens when women (that are not good) do not get the man that they REALLY want and they still have access to the man: They will CHEAT.
Women do not respect marriage the same way men do.
I think that is exactly true. However, women in their 30s should not waste time moving in with a man without a ring. They cannot afford to waste time. Usually the roommate scenario is a waste of time.
Marriage too risky for men today, the game is rigged
nah, just get a prenup and make believe you're doing it for the romance of it all. ^^
@@beastinshow2362 Prenups dont work anymore - she say she was under duress and it gets thrown out
@@beastinshow2362 millions of pre-nups are tossed out everyday. your advice is like telling men to play Russian roulette with only 1 bullet instead of 2
@@beastinshow2362 only to have that prenup invalidated in divorce? nope. Don't play the game with any promises.
So don’t marry. Just date casually
The effort is so important. As man turns above 30 he has done so much to be an attractive partner. you can't just be a lazy person. Most importantly, GO TO THERAPY! some of yall need to heal.
You're right!
Yeah half the guys in
This comment section need to lay off the manosphere content a bit and go to therapy or just try to shift their thinking a bit
yes but also make sure it isn't just someone who validate everything you say. The goal is growth, not validation
Not MOST guys lol..most guys are fat and balding by 35 unfortunately
Therapy often does more harm to women than benefits them.
It's too late for them if their standards don't change. So tantamount to the same thing.
Which means they have to "settle" for you. It's a recipe for a cheater. Or divorce at some future date.
by then, they should as well be capable of telling apart ‚stardard‘ from ‚ill-founded delusion‘. if they could, that is.
well, they should reflect on realistic 'standards' to begin with, instead of continuing to entertain non-viable narcissistic delusions concordant to hiveminded infestations, wich aren't bearable for anybody.
it's never too late for anything! God is good.
I met my wife when she was 33 and I was 35. Retrospectively, I would have preferred someone at least a few years younger than her (28-31), but the problem is that I tried and failed in multiple relationships with younger women. I was previously engaged to someone 6 years younger (I was born in 1985, she was born in 1991 - we were 31 and 25 when we met), and I also dated two girls born in 1998 while I was single, between my time with my ex-fiancé and my current wife. The problem I've found with most Gen Z women (which also applies to many so-called Zillennials like my ex) is that many of them have a lot of mental health issues and baggage that makes them less-than-ideal as marriage prospects. And many of them are simply not interested in settling down at all, either in their 20s OR 30s (when they get there). I do agree that it's not ideal to date a 30-something woman if you think that she's settling for you, and that she's alpha-widowed, but the grass is simply not greener with the below-30 crowd. 30-something women may be delusional for expecting that they're going to get a guy who's a perfect 10, but nowadays, a 30- or 40-something guy trying to wife up a typical 22-year old is just as delusional. Even IF you can date one (and I've done so), you might very well find the experience to be a case of, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
I dated a lot of women including older and younger and my same age, I was born in 1985 like you. I realized that before 2014, women of my age younger and older were more functional than today, I am from Mexico, but this is alik in almost everywhere. Social media changed a lot of women, if you found a lot of single mother or single women with no kids that were very easy to be with,this began to change when social media made them very sick. Now you see that all, specially the single mothers and the older women are very aggressive, they think that they have a lot of value. The thing is that I can say the opposite to you, is very difficult to get along with that kind of women because of that, but younger women are easier by far.
You have to realize something: that if you encountered younger women with that kind of problemas, I can assure you that when they get older they will be worse. So In any case, you have to find younger women that don't have those issues.
@@codniggh1139 I hear what you're saying, and agree with you to some extent. I certainly think that every 30-something man should aspire to date younger 20-something women, and take advantage of the fact that he's in his peak SMV years. It is also true that, in theory, younger women are more adaptable. However, I do think that it's still WAY harder to find 20-something women who are marriage material nowadays, and that any man following the Manosphere's recommendation to ONLY date younger is setting himself up for failure. And at the end of the day, you can't make a 20-something woman into a wife if she would rather party and sleep around for as long as possible - and that is how too many of the Gen Z women think nowadays.
I would say that the trends that you describe also started even a few years before 2014. I started noticing that the dating scene was becoming warped in the early-2010s, which is when Instagram and Tinder were first launched. I blame those two apps for most of the ills that afflict most modern young women and causing the decline of the dating scene.
@@BunyipDude well, I don't know in the USA, but I think is the same because I have seen similar behaviors, but women and men from new generations tend to be more isolated and tend not to go outside their homes as before, because social media and devices make people prisoner of this. Yes, surely there still are like that, but I think and I have noticed that the older the generation, the more they went to be more of parties and all of that stuff. Is amazing how even being adults, new generations are more like children than anything in this regard. People is becoming more coward to the life, so I don't have too much problem With that. Anyway, goo you were luck with your wife because most of good women that are not sick and crazy were married long ago.
@@codniggh1139 Have to admit that I can't compare - when I've been to Mexico, I've never been anywhere besides resorts in Cancun. I have no experience with the local culture. You are correct that with Gen Z (and now Gen Alpha), there is a tendency for them to spend more time in online communities/social media and never interact with anyone in real life. But for the girls who are putting themselves out there, they are showing the tendencies that I describe above. Still very irresponsible, though.
@@BunyipDude well, many things coincide independently of the country. I think that maybe the problem with them is where you got them, but still I think that are dar below intensity in going party as the older generations were.
Value is about how you value yourself. I’m 37 and left a bad marriage a couple years ago. I’ve never been told I was beautiful (by total strangers) more than in the last couple years. Probably because I’ve never been happier.
For me, it’s much better not being married. If a man is disrespectful, you can walk away. If you’re married, you can’t. I can provide for myself financially. Women are expected to have full-time jobs and do most of the housework. It’s much more work having to take care of someone else than doing whatever I want. I have no interest in being a personal assistant again.
I hope I’ll eventually meet an equal partner, but my life is much more peaceful and easy by myself for now, so I can’t relate to the content of this video.
My guy didn’t want to help around the house because he brought in more money. Me asking for his help made him feel like I wasn’t appreciating his monetary contributions. He saw it as me nagging or complaining.
Did you split everything money wise with him?
i'm sorry but every old woman tells that story about how people keep telling her how beautiful she is or how younger men still hit on her, to cope with the fact she's old and not as attractive anymore
@@Victhemighty Where did I say anything about being hit on by younger men? Being 37 you now get hit on by guys in their late 20s up to guys in their 70s. The age range really opens up.
What ?!
Women would have to work and make an effort to please her man 😱
unbelievable.
"But I'm the prize."
I'm 10/10 deserved no less.
“i have to do more than just look presentable?! 😢”
Is disgusting that you say that women should please men
There is always some lonely guy with money that will take on kids, baggage, body count, and drama no matter the woman’s age.
As long as it ain't you and I feeding the beast.
It definitely won’t be us!
The sucker with money is the problem.
dude i love the cursing! it adds a splash of intensity to these videos. like a little pop of color on a sea of gray. A nice little jab to wake you up.
I love that too and it's not cursing just because but to actually give emphasis on the advice itself lol
I don*t. It just adds vulgarity and crudness.
I loved the "fuck-ed" ! LOL
@@BrianMolstad Did it give you the vapors? LOL
The age isn't the problem. It's the mentality that got them to that age without a man. That is the problem and they won't change.
Correct, which is why they're recreational use only
@@EE12CSVT loool
@@EE12CSVT you're recreational as well
@@TheJosman I know I am. I don't mind it, neither do they. But at least I'm honest about it.
Men wanting to date younger woman is an issue too
It amazes me how men still consider getting married in this day and age especially when a woman can leave the man and leave him financially ruined. Mind boggling.
It depends on what state of the union you are. Some states do not allow alimony and others do. Some states respect prenuptial agreements, and others don't. When it comes to child support, they are your children, so helping financially with children is the right thing to do.
Love this episode! My pride has gotten me far in terms of work ethic, but when it comes to taking a more active approach to dating I can see how it’s gotten in the way. We’re told constantly by other women that the man has to pursue because it’s in their nature, the whole “if he wanted to he would” etc. There are just so many “rules” on both sides these days that I don’t even know what’s natural: organic when it comes to dating anymore.
Social media ruined most of women from infinite attention from men, as a man i would have a hard time settling down with a normal person if i had 300 women dm'ing me consistently, the paradox of options is a real thing
@@mentoriii3475That’s a complete lie. You’re projecting from your own failures. Maybe social media ruined it for you because you have an excuse to not leave the house. Women will stay single until regularly men learn to be sexually attractive.
Many women who failed in their 30s become embittered and demanding in their 40s. There are plenty of 30-35 yo prospects for successful men who refuse to put up with an entitled and angry 45 year old who isn’t useful and supportive. This video contains great advice.
I think the reality is that it’s very hard to control who we love. I think most of us aren’t that logical to force ourselves to just pick the best option available on paper
I experienced it, I have had so many options the last 5 years but I kinda fell in love with a woman who I knew was trouble from the start. I think you confuse attraction with love. Love is a choice, attraction is not.
I was widowed at 40, remarried right before my 50th birthday as a female.... very happy.
Nothing wrong with over 30's women. No need to panic. Guys are still game to marry you. Just chill. Economics is the problem in my opinion. Its hard for guys to build resources and they don't have faith in the future dealing with problems. They just need more time. Be patient and ignore the doom sayers.
I love how real and practical u r
I hope the women really listened to this because its solid advice! When I was younger (I'm 52 now) the women over 30 that I noticed were those who made an effort. In fact, I would argue that such women even have an advantage over younger women if they are attractive and kind. Men like to take the path of least resistance in the dating world so any attractive woman who makes an effort will put herself at a big advantage over most other women. Is it 100%? No, but nothing is. What it will do is great increase your odds of winning as a womam
yet women complain about life being not 100%....she'd literally tell you the only one time she tried making an effort and got nothing back from Chad, which served as a lesson or some sort of truama that led to her never trying again.
@@allenlin7333 Good points and yeah, women CANNOT handle rejection at all. Well, at least outward rejection and we don't outwardly reject them as hard as they reject us. Women actually do get rejected more than they realize but men tend to reject women on the back end. these are the guys women say are "emotionally unavailable" or are "afraid of commitment". They don't realize that they need to add two words to each of those phrases; "for me" or "with me". Women don't realize that the guys who won't commit to them have rejected them for a relationship but still want sex from them. it is the gendered equivalent of being friendzoned.
_"I hope the women really listened to this because its solid advice!"_
your hope has been wasted.
@@josealexi5141 If just one or two women listen, that's a win.
@@ShonnMorris then we all agree this is a loss, because ZERO women will listen.
In theory women over 30 should be a lot more easy going /expecting less and easier to talk to because their market value is lower, however this is not what we see out there, its the opposite. I am having such a good time with this 22 yr old (Im 35) i dont ever want to date women my age
This. I used to prefer older woman because I assumed that they were less bratty, much more mature, and more reserved. Turns out that they're the same as younger woman, but even more bitter and resentful towards men due to their horrible past experiences with them.
@@thevisitor1012that was sometime ago,I am from Mexico and I realized rhr same,I am 38
When I was 28 or alike, that was the case with older women, but social media have made them to believe and behave as teenagers or worse because they have a lot of baggage. So, before 2014 was rrh case, after 2014 this changed. Social media is a curse for humanity.
@@thevisitor1012100%. My most successful and healthy long term relationship is currently with a woman much younger than me. She is far more mature, open to compromise and genuinely loving than any women I met my age. And she insists on paying 50/50 whenever possible. She loves contributing. Women my age mostly expected me to pay 99% of the time.
Stop using her.
@@ST-yc7uj using her??? What do u mean. shes actually more girlfriend material than most ive met that are over 30. Shes quite accomplished actually, shes a third lieutenant in the army and working towards a fitness competition
I love your content and I had a good laugh with the handkerchief scenario 😂
I am 43, met the love of my life a year ago. We are engaged, he invested money into my new company, planning a family, we travel the world together, etc. before him I was single for 6 years by choice, I wasn’t even interested in meeting a man or dating…age doesn’t matter. He is 2 years older than me, I never been in a relationship with a man similar to my age before, all my previous men were all younger than me, the last was 7 years younger than me, we were together for 5 years, planning our wedding etc but I felt he wasn’t the man for me.
What do you mean “planning a family” you’re barely even able to get pregnant.
Let me wait here until your business booms, and you start to feel that he is not your man.
Orion, who does your artwork for all your video thumbnails? It’s great and unique. Would be cool to see a short behind-the-scenes video on that.
This is a good video, but the reality is that most women aren't going to change their strategy.
women over 30 are like men who make less than $50k- for all intents and purposes, nobody really wants to be with you as a first or second choice.
That’s brutal on both sides lmao.
not even 1 minute into the video he calls people who makes such comments as yours as having unhealed wounds and you need to resolve your bitterness
@deusexmachina9776 Yeah , we're all hurt. Go point fingers elsewhere.
@@deusexmachina9776 Or he doesn't. People often die with problems, but not actually because of them.
@@FreshGreenMoss pointing fingers is fun as long as they arent pointed at u
When I was in my 20s I had two serious relationships with men also in their 20s that I loved. Same as all the women I knew. What is this nonsense that men aren’t wanted in their 20s.
U forgot the word handsome
I'm a 29 year old man and I feel like it's over.
I'll believe otherwise when I see it
You are too young boy wake up and fight for your destiny
Dude, things are gonna be fine.
Together with the 5 endgames one of your best videos by far.
You succeed beautifully at formulating mazy thoughts and ideas which exist in most of us into crystal clear statements and ideas.
Thank you so much Dr. Taraban for your work, I'm glad I found your channel a while ago.
I love this mutually beneficial advise.
This is a beautifully done video. Although it's gonna be hard for women, it's really possible.
Lots of your male audience won't want to hear this because of their resentment towards women.,
Facts....Men and their attitude keep them from moving forward. Women and their drama keep them single from any kind of decent man
No man with any value wants to be a woman's second third or fourth choice etc and that's exactly what he'd be dating a woman 30+
Bad take. Most men are happy to listen & try to understand any decent person operating in good faith. But there's no point "understanding" the POV of a spoiled rotten person who will not take accountability. In fact, really trying to empathize with a spoiled rotten person makes the problem worse as it just instills deeper bitterness.
@@chipsteve A spoiled rotten person was chosen and given the title wife. One ring I notice is nice guys marry and then let the wife run all over them. This should not be
The wall is nothing more than "people get older and look older"
This whole "she now has to find," blah blah blah is a boring and played out attempt to manipulate women into unfulfilling relationships.
Young people like to be young and have fun and are most times pretty shallow about it. As you get older I think most people learn "what's really important" while also wanting to settle down.
You ever seen a group of 40-50 year old men trying to look like they are fitting in at the club?
It's cringe as fuck.
Mental and spiritual growth is the only way to attract a great partner and I think that’s whats lacking in people today.
Congratulations on the book! I can’t wait to read it.
Of course a WOMAN can STILL find a man. Sure, as PsycHacks says, it would be the BASIC BOB (the "settleDOWN" man).
But for Basic Bob, he will either enter into a dead (or duty) bedroom. If not, Basic Bob will get divorced because the wife wants to "find herself," or "becomes bored."
The "wall" is NOT about her looks, but her BAGGAGE. The woman in her 30's already been to every restaurant around town. She already traveled. She been through this. She has been through this. She already has a bunch of bags her exes or herself bought for her. What the heck can Basic Bob do? She already experienced that fancy restaurant. She will just throw Basic Bob's present next to the rest of her bags she bought. She already experienced Chad-Rone's skills. What can Basic Bob do versus Chad in the bed? Basic Bob can't keep his wife from becoming "bored."
I will say it till someone hears it....if she has sex with you quickly she has had sex with others quickly....the mess of it all is on you for saying yes.
Poor Bob. I really can't stand women.
The problem with what you're saying is that nowadays, most Gen Z girls (the current generation of 20-something women) are about as ran-through as the Millennial women who are now in their 30s. By the time that they're in their early-20s, they are more likely to have double or even triple-digit body count, slept with partners of both sexes, etc. when compared to women of previous generations. (And there is a LOT of data to back what I am saying.) They also just don't tend to have the same values as Millennial women or older generations: Most of them are woke, most of them do not see marriage to anyone besides a perfect guy as desirable, and many of them have severe mental health issues brought on by a combination of their seggsual baggage and social media addiction. When I was single, I dated two Zoomer girls - both of them had serious personality issues that led me to part ways with them within a few months. I'm now married to someone closer to my age who isn't perfect, but doesn't have nearly as many red flags as the Zoomers that I was with.
Lol when I was last chosen as the "basic Bob" her poor little world was rocked in bed. She was so, so, so confused that the sex was beyond anything she had experienced from her disinterested Chads. She hardly managed to crawl away from her perceived Beta Bob.
I mean, he had another video as well where he addressed the wall. You keep seeing women saying "the wall" doesn't exist and "I found a Guy over 30 you're just crazy", but these arguments completely miss the point.
The wall doesn't mean its impossible to get a man. It just means you greatly drop off the sexual dating market at that point and maybe now have too high of standards going forward.
10/10 for the true to life depiction of Victorian era England.
This is very interesting. I feel fortunate that I met my husband when I was 26. He was 36. We have a nice life, 2 kids, 15 years in, we have our routines & have made strides on our goals. I'm content. It's nice to have a partner in life. I can not even imagine dating now in my mid-40's. God forbid something happened to my husband, I would probably just stay single. It seems like a lot of work these days to find a mate.
It's over for most of them because they choose for it to be over.
They keep increasing their standards. They continue to never ask what men actually want. They get more and more bitter. And they continue to completely reject the idea that they're chasing men out of their league. They actually believe that their SMV increases with age.
Their delusional thinking is a choice. As long as they refuse to make any effort to be realistic, they'll remain single.
Women be looking for a 12 foot tall fortune 500 CEO with 12 pack abs
They erroneously tie their smv to their careers and income because tying it to their youth and beauty is misogyny😅
@@TheAustrianPainter87
That's it. They judge themselves the same way they judge men.
They refuse to believe we care about different things.
Like two guys shopping for a vehicle. One needs a work truck and the other needs a mid life crisis sports car.
They're going to be attracted to completely different aspects of a vehicle. One that's perfect for one will be absolutely worthless to the other. Same thing with men and women.
This is easily the best video directed towards women (of any age, let's be real) by any man or woman on youtube in regards to dating marketplace expectations.
Please keep swearing. I already LOVE LOVE LOVE your analysis. Your swearing gives your already superb intellectual thinking some kicks. So much fun!
Well said sir! The game changes so women must change their strategy and become more aggressive!!! Truth.
They won't, though. Women don't act. They wait.
@@FreshGreenMoss Agreed that the vast majority won't. In my opinion every American woman over 30 would benefit from hearing this episode by Dr. Tariban--most especially the story about how women used to drop their handkerchief in front of a man they were interested in so they had a reason to interact!!!
I met my wife 20yrs ago at 23.
In that time I’ve watched half her friends “settle” for great guys and mostly live happily thereafter.
The other half knocked back guy after guy for more and more trivial reasons. Inc wrong style jacket. Like a Seinfeld episode.
Sad sight to see them now alone in one bedroom apartments, watching us all raise children and move forward with our lives while they still talk about one night stands and what they need from their Mr right.
The point is, they are STILL not looking for the average John, they are looking for the 10% guys that are looking for younger women.
It was never about getting a good man, if its not the 10 or maybe 15% guys at the top they prefer to keep looking until they are 40s and maybe then too late.
Settle for “less” its the same as settling for the worse in their understanding.
Maybe looking for younger woman is a problem here?
@biancahernandez6432 how so?
You can't expect a group of people who avoid accountability like the plague to countenance playing at a (relative) disadvantage.
Thanks, Orion. So happy to see you blowing up. I discovered you in the 4K-subscriber days. Goes to show that quality gets attention.
It is ur beliefs you guys. 30 is still young. My sister found a men at 42 lol my aunt at 50 lol. I'm not sure why they speak about 30 lyk it's 60 I think it's because if u want to have children maybe but I don't so it doesn't matter what age u find somebody
its most women in general do not know what they want, which is why they waste their time. When they turn 30 their psychological perspective shifted, fearing that they are being replaced by women in their 20's and this is why you see a lot of women making TikTok videos bragging about it.
Not everyone is so lucky for women they tend to decline in terms of looks after 35
You can find A MAN at any age. But to find a great quality man who has a lot of options is less likely as you age
@@olyalya6380 Agreed as we age we realize it's very difficult to find someone who align with your thoughts👍👍👍👍
@@olyalya6380my mom found a great guy when they were both over 50… Both divorced with kids so coming from the same background. He pays almost everything and she takes care of him
I don’t know if what I am about to write in paragraph #2 is entirely true or false. It is based on reading many comments to Orion’s videos, plus a couple first hand experiences below. Possibly only Orion-hating fem activists write comments, but….
It appears most women reflexively dismiss Orion’s ideas. They would rather throw stones than listen.
I forwarded a couple of Orion’s videos to women I knew and their heads exploded. One I never heard from again. The other whom I dated for 3.5 years is still in contact, but only after months of silence. (I won’t go into the particulars of either woman - gentlemen don’t discuss it, so don’t ask.)
Based on these experiences I won’t forward Orion’s work to another woman in the future. They don’t want to hear it, and doing so poisons any future dialogue I might have.
“The first rule of Fight Club is…..”
You found out. 💀
@@mrsherwood2599 Yes. Most women don’t seem to want to succeed with men. They apparently would rather be passive victims than active participants in finding success. No wonder so many men have given up also on relationships. It’s a swamp.
The problem is once humans get stuck on their highest setting, they won't be happy with less. This is little issue for men, as their SMV tends to grow over time, accommodating this mentality. However, women's SMV decline leads to them either never finding a relationship with someone good enough, or settling for a man who they will never really love. Both outcomes are miserable.
Another gem of a video, distilling wisdom.
Genius! The best metaphor in a long time: "Dropping the handkerchief".
Congrats! "Questa è una ottima battuta".
And, we man, if we want "that", we have to be aware of "Dropped Handkerchiefs".
Asking for directions can be the dropped handkerchief. You don't know the area, you're trying to find this address, does he by chance know where Fogerty Street is, your GPS doesn't seem to be working...
@@stephanie7572
👍😄😄