This song hit me like a freaking truck as soon as she started singing...It speaks so powerfully to my heart when he is having his break down and she comes in saying "can i interrupt?" this is 100% how it is for me right now...and i am so incredibly thankful she is there to "interrupt" my breakdowns.
Oh man can I relate… first time I heard it, I wept like a baby. And after that, I’ve cried every, really every time, at that exact moment. I was in a deep hole, and my Bbi never left my side.😭❤
This is a hauntingly beautiful song. Bibi, who was his girlfriend at the time did an interview about this time. If you search Google for "Sussex Tab, Ren and Bibi" you should be able to find it. It must have been a deeply traumatic time for both of them. For him to be going through so much and yet still be able to create such incredible art as this just shows what an incredible artist and human being he is.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned it, but this song was not only released before he got diagnosed, but he and Bibi were dating at the time. So Bibi's part is indeed her saying she will take care of him and he isn't alone. After he was dumped by Sony when he got really sick, bibi made a gofundme and she raised £4000 for him to get treatment in the US. That makes the song even more vulnerable and impactful. i sadly have been there myself, I was engaged to a guy who got really sick and almost died, he is still struggling with his physical and mental health 4 years later and we aren't together anymore but we are still good friends. I was a crutch for him for over a year and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done because I was alsos truggling with my mental health at the time, but I did what felt right and what I had to do, I had everything I could to help him out and make him feel better every time I visited him at the hospital. Back to Ren, I'm so happy to see how far he's come health wise and seeing him looking healthier and how the treatment in Canada is working for him, when he released this song he was at a really low point because he was so sick and he didn't know what was wrong with him, and now he knows and he's getting treated and it seems to be working. And all through hell and back he never gave up. I admire him a lot. Thank you Rosalie for your reaction as always.
It really is like this.. i have lupus and lyme. It is a struggle to feel like others are a "crutch" and to be so vulnerable and dependent on people when you feel weak. I was hospitalized again last week.. this time was scary. Its hard to see our own strengths at moments like this. I can see why Ren wrote this song for sure. Coming out of it, I'm glad it doesn't last forever.
This one hits me from the perspective of being the crutch. Wanting so badly to fix everything, but it's never fixed, never over, never moves to another phase or chapter. When he's pulling himself up using her body, her strength to hold onto, he clutches on in desperation, overwhelming her with his physical size and looming need. Been there. Sometimes it feels like being the lifeguard who is being pulled under by a drowning person you desperately love and want to save. Don't get me wrong ... my heart breaks when I see Ren crying and I want to hug him and fix it. My heart literally hurts for everything he's been through. I'm a natural fixer and feel that way about a lot of people and situations. But I have had to learn to set boundaries and stop thinking I'm a super hero. I'm not. And if I crack, then who is there to support me and the people I already take care of? But sometimes people feel perhaps Bibi abandoned him in real life - I don't know their story and how/why it ended so I can't comment, nor would I even if I knew. Relationships without this type of pressure may not last and it may have run its natural course. I believe they are still close. At any rate ... as a crutch, she did the job of a crutch. A crutch is typically a temporary solution to keep you mobile while you heal from an injury. If your injury is never going to heal, then you will likely need more than a crutch. I know few emotionally healthy people who have given their entire lives over to being a forever crutch for someone else, no matter how much they love them. We all need that crutch at some point. So for the people who are mad at the end because she's not there (and many people have big feelings about that, which is fine, we all have our triggers), she may not be there, but he was standing on his feet and couldn't have gotten there without her. I truly think it takes more than one person who loves an individual that needs years of support. Together we make the difference and are stronger when we allow moments for ourselves to tap out, let someone else take over for a bit, breathe and relax before we tap back in. Especially if you go in with unrealistic expectations that you, and you alone, are the only one who can "fix" physical, emotional or mental needs of another person. This video breaks my heart on so many levels! But life is sometimes heartbreaking.
powerful comment and very relatable!! i see what you mean. and I agree. there are 2 sides (and more) to the matter and I think there is wisdom in knowing it takes a village so to speak, boundaries. etc. i hope you have people in your life who can lift you up too, especially if you are often those others lean on. yes, life is indeed heartbreaking.
@RosalieReacts I do have a great support team, thank you! It took lots of therapy to get to the place where I could allow myself to be on the receiving end of help, and to even actually ask for it. I found myself realizing how hurtful it is to others to be the ones always taking from me without being given a chance to reciprocate. (There may or may not have been a comment from a friend good enough to say that she had seen all of my clothes, but never my super hero outfit, so that must mean that I didn't actually have to act like one. Then she called me a stubborn bitch, we cried, hugged and I love her forever for that piece of tough love.) But I realized I was robbing my loved ones of the joy I feel when I can do something for them, since I refused offers of help. My 87 year old mom lives with us now, and tells me she's a useless burden. She's not. I adore her! I just went through a pretty major surgery. At first I refused help from her (because, duh, I apparently have to learn the same lesson over and over). But she's frail and I didn't want her to do my laundry because it hurts her back. It consisted mostly of nightgowns anyway, so I finally just said, "Thank you." She fed my dogs and put them out, changed my bandages, and brought me sherbet every night before I went to sleep. (Now I can't fit into anything except my nightgowns because I ate sherbet every night for several weeks, though. Lol.) And I also accepted help from my husband, who wanted to reciprocate the care I had taken of him throughout his back surgery earlier in the year. (It's been a rough year!) But why do I even write all this? I am hoping that someone else with a savior complex, the self-proclaimed crutch, who is dying of mental and physical exhaustion and starting to feel depleted and resentful, will see it and allow themselves to also receive help. It's much more of a balanced relationship when we take care of each other. We caretakers are a stubborn bunch, though, and can always use a reminder. 😉 Love what you're doing here, you beautiful soul! ❤️
This was even before he got his lyme disease diagnosis. Bibi was his actual girlfriend back then. It is also her in the video. This is probably his most vulnerable video he EVER did.
This is only third time I heard this song and everytime it made my cry and evoked those heavy thoughts and fears that Ren is singing about. Because this song is so relatable to me and it's hitting so hard. I want to thank my husband for staying with me, refusing to abandon me for such a long time, even though I have nothing to offer him anymore, even though I am just a burden and one more mouth he has to feed. Being useless, bedridden for almot entire day, every day, slowly going crazy and being incredibly sensitive, depressed and nervous all the time, it has been taking a toll on him too, but he is still here... There are no words to describe the amount of gratitude that I feel, even though I am aware that I have ruined his life, which breaks my heart. Often I just think it would be better if he leaves me and tries to be happy, because he so much deserves it and I wish so badly to see him happy again... There are not so many people like him in this world... I love you N. 🖤💔
To me, this song shows what the struggle he had with the devil, described during the 'newsflash. I was created at the dawn of time' segment in HI Ren, really looked like. He really is extraordinary.
One of my absolute favourite Ren songs! It is a stunning masterpiece perfectly depicting agony and fear in lyrics, singing, music, and even the video. Never has a distorted guitar sounded so emotional to me.
Rosalie you really should listen to the song Ren did called Patience by Ren Gill it’s about 12 yrs old and he did it when he was featured in a documentary called Unrest about people with ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as its known in the USA . This is such a powerful and hopeful song from the younger Ren . He talks about his condition then he sings a song that he made - from this you can see how he became the man he is now . Don’t watch the studio version of Patience - instead watch the version that was part of the documentary Unrest . Loved your reaction to Crutch .
The way I interpret this is that she never existed but was a mental crutch constructed by his brain as a coping mechanism and the pain he must have felt in loosing the love of his life when the realisation that she was merely a symptom of his psychosis! Breaks my heart
I think the lack of clothes shows the vulnerability of body. And grasping and posturing are PAIN . Then the medication and water were the copeing he was prescribed. But in the end he was still alone dealing with his symptoms. 😢😢 WOW REN !! So glad you did your own research and headed in the right direction ❤❤
All these comments from your audience is amazing, the fact they feel comfortable to show their vulnerability here is astoundingly beautiful, i wish everyone the best in life, you're all gorgeous in your own ways and you are loved 🥰
Liebe Rosalie, danke für dein Video. Bibi war zu dieser Zeit Rens Freundin. Sie war wirklich für ihn da und hat auch das erste Gofundme initiiert. Nach der Trennung sind Ren und Romain zusammen gezogen. Also wie immer. Alles passiert aus einem Grund...
Und Bibi und Ren mögen und respektieren sich auch heute noch. Was ich absolut vorbildlich finde. Wie viele Paare schaffen das nach einer Trennung nicht? Sehr, sehr viele.
This one took me about 30 times before I could do it without crying. I hate asking people to go into the super sad stuff. But I also feel like for Ren people hearing and loving the dark parts of his music may help him. I hope it does at least. Thank you!!! I love this one so much. Now that the newer stuff is out, and he gives updates to the fans that he is okay, this song is a lot easier. I just remind myself that he's okay now. One thing about this one I really love, is when the beat comes in as BiBi steps in sounds like a heart beat, and knowing even in his darkest times his creativity never slowed it's probably something that he got an idea from while in the hospital. :) As always love love hearing your thoughts.
Very impactful, beautiful song with a breathtaking video. Ren seems to be at his worst, don't know how he got through it. Pity Bibi is no longer with Ren she was someone who he really needed at that time.
She was so vital for him back then. Was going through thick and thin with him. Set up the first gofundme and everything. Wonderful woman. And they still respect one another to this day.
@@Hexenkind1 Yes, her gentleness and kindness shines through brightly. I have this on the Freckled Angels CD but I find it difficult to listen. This is one of his most heartbreaking songs.
That's one of the main reasons I like Ren so much. Hes a real human bean that cares about uplifting other artists, reaction channels and the commenters. And treats it like one big happy family, community or group of friends. He's blowing up all over the world yet he hasn't changed since the first time I saw him. And he gives back. He stays in touch with his fans even though he's going through a rough treatment. He stays humble. I love this guy. I'm a 50 yr old man and he touches my heart and soul like no artists have in a long long time
Literally just watched this for the first time and it hit me so deep that I had to come see who reacted to it…SO happy you did this TODAY because I needed someone to acknowledge the freaking genius of this song
I have listened to this song so many times. But, for some reason it hit me hard after you read the description. The anxiety attack that he had during the heavy guitar breakdown, made me feel the hurt in this song. And her leaving after the breakdown hit me in a very personal way.
I love this song. I feel that the first half with Bibi is the romantic idea of supporting somebody through mental health and the second half is the harsh reality of trying to support somebody through the hell that is mental health issues. Amazing song.
Although this song isnt very long it is powerful it reminded me of some rough times that my wife had during her illness and the way it just kept breaking her down mentally the longer it went it took a long time for her to come to terms with it all and then when she finally did things were better but then she passed away so this hits me quite hard having lived this for a long time. As always your ride or die forever Eyyyy Ooooo. on another note we are finally coming up on 100k I love this for you and for us as a community I knew you would get this milestone I am happy to say that I watched this build from the ground up and that there are so many people here and still coming to see how good you are at breaking down music and lyrics and putting it into terms that can be understood easily by all I appreciate you so much.
Thank you for sharing that, Willey. I can only imagine what you went through. Thank you for your vulnerability here and sharing your story and thank you very much for being part of this community from the start. Grateful to have people that are rejoicing with me, even though we’ve never met in person. What an honor to cross paths like this. You’re a true ride or die.
Thank you for reacting to this song! Other songs of Ren have impacted me and brought tears to my eyes. This song straight ripped my soul open. Ren really knows how to resonate with raw human experience.
Great reaction again Unfortunately I understand this feeling all to well although I will never been be able to control my condition ( Not related to drugs or alcohol ) I've tried to make peace with my pain and the feeling I may break at any moment but I've also learned to master the art of putting on a facade when it's at its worse so I don't feel a burden but it has cost me many things in my life my marriage a lot of friendships people who I trusted would be there but walked away so I no longer open up to anyone not even doctors in my darkest times I've contemplated suicide even tried once it was not something I'm proud of but I understand how people can get to that stage because when your body and mind are in a constant battle you just become overwhelmed to a point you can't see anything but darkness along with dread and fear so it feels like the only option left So this song hits me really close to home
Life is one big experience, we need to learn as we will always make mistakes, as long as we learn and grow from it then great, not just for you but for those around you.
One just never knows what they are going to get with Ren. Thanks.. "For Joe" is a pretty amazing live collaboration of many of these songs with some beauuuuuuuutiful piano played by ren.
I owe you (and, I hate to admit it, the TH-cam algorithm) a great deal, as it was through a random pop-up in my "suggested" that I discovered your channel, and that suggestion was your reaction to Ren's (at the time) new single, Hi Ren. Thus, I joined you and a host of others in the Ren rabbithole. Thank you. Keep up your great work discussing and analysing excellent music and videos.
Rosalie insightful again! I love the way you are able to articulate so many issue's you pick up on in your reactions. Keep it up, we need more people who are not afraid to communicate important ideas to everyone.
Bibi was Ren's girlfriend. Not sure of the timeline of their relationship but she was still with him when he was finally diagnosed with Lyme's. This video is fascinating to me because you could interpret Bibi as a delusion. If I lose my mind will you stay... if I get better will I lose the delusion? Either way she got him up and on his feet.
Incredible song .... again Ren tears himself apart to reveal his truth allowing us to reflect on the threads that connect us. One of the more compelling motivations not mentioned in your commentary is that this song provokes for me, is the fear that you are poison. The torture is that you are despirate for help, their presence, their love is so important, so cherished, they are hope, the only light in the darkness, you may feel like they are the only external reason to stay, to fight, to breathe .... but you risk smothering them, extinguishing that gentle flame by reaching out and trying to hold on to it (the belief that the struggle, the sacrifice, the chaos will drag all you reach out to, deeper into the pit of Hell that is consuming you and ultimately drown them)
This is one of my favorites, even though it’s not easy to watch. But both the song and video are stunning! This was before he knew he had Lyme Disease, so he didn’t know whether his body and mind would continue to deteriorate. “If I lose my mind, would you stay with me?” gets me every time. Bibi was his girlfriend at the time and her tenderness is accentuated by the heartbeat-like percussion. It’s such a beautiful part. She helped with Ren’s GoFundMe campaign to raise money for his treatment.
This song reminds me of the relationship and mairrage of 20 years i had with my wife. She had a secret life i knew nothing about till the last two years of our marriage. I was shocked when told me everything. If i had known i would have gotten her more help than she had. Things would have been different. Our relationship would have been different.
Her name is Bibi Lea-Ding. She is a tattooist, singer, artist. Her voice is amazing, and I agree, completely compliments Ren's. This is such a powerful song.
You did Crutch too! 🥺. This song was on my blacklist for a while because I couldn't listen/watch without getting super emotional. Thank you so much for your contributions to the #renathon 💛
I tried to dodge this song until today (9th of August 23) didn't know why I did that. I watched it a few hours ago and I am still not oke. I am hoping watching it with you that I can start to recover. It is hitting so close to home. The video is like modern dance. Expressing it. The sounds. Ripping my soul out of me. I've lost so much that I decided to not let anybody in anymore until I know how to feel like I am good enough. ❤
I can tell you must really be hurting, Claudia. I know we don't know each other personally, but thank you for your courage to be vulnerable here today. please know you are loved and worthy of love and peace. you are seen. the space you feel is precious. you are more precious than rubies and gold. please don't give up. you already are more than good enough!
@@rosalieelliottofficial Thank you so much for your response Rosalie. I have been watching and following your channel since I found Ren and reaction videos. I did not expect a response and being told that I am being seen is still feeling awkward. Being told that I am worthy still makes me cry. It took decades of misdiagnosis both physically and mentally to get me to where I am finally brave enough to do trauma therapy. But him talking about losing my mind while my body was in pain, being told it was just in my head, that trauma we did not even discussed yet. Now knowing that losing my mind is due to bipolar adhd and cptst, physically a rare hereditary disorder, that I am not "crazy", not my lack of working hard caused it all. Now I teach at the University of applied sciences Nursing studies in the Netherlands from the position of Expert by lived experience (EBE) with co-created coursework about how to connect with a human being instead of a patient. About new / other ways of mental health. And how to use your own life experiences as a nurse to help yourself stay mentally healthy and how to coach your patients to help themselves. I use my own story and others to teach. It sometimes helps and sometimes it hits me. Now with Ren spreading so much wisdom, I hope I can use his work to lighten some of the load. Sorry for this whole essay. Thank you if you read it all. I am completely open about my story. So that is okay 😊. I am actually feeling better now. Being reminded how somebody else sees me and what my experiences gave me, the best vocation there is imo, sooths me. Thank you Rosalie. Thank you. A big warm hug from the Netherlands 🇱🇺
@@claudiarovers9787 it is wonderful finding ways to share your story and inspire and encourage others in the process. keep going :) I'm glad you're doing better. sending a warm hug back to you
Bibi was his girlfriend at the time. I suffer from stage 4 liver disease, I know the theme of this song all too well... I feel my body dying and just trying to keep going..
Rosalie. I am an old man and maybe this is just what old men do…but there is a man out there who may not even know you are coming. That will be a very lucky young man indeed. May he deserve you. Ren?!? Hello! 🥸
Often one doesn't tell the other about the struggles and pain, because the other one also suffers somehow... it this toxic? But can a onesided relationship work? Is it all about distraction? Are we consuming each other like drugs? Can relationships of two pretenders work? Sure, there are countless definitions of a relationship or even non-relationship. Probably every person has to solve his/her problems and fight his/her own struggles for self acceptance and balance. So, do we have to be alone, to be able, to come together?
Bibi was REN’s girlfriend at the time I don’t think they are together anymore but I think they are still on good terms because of the way he has spoken about her in one of his community posts promoting this song.
check out my instagram post. I tagged the girl, who reached out. I think her and a few other ladies had gotten together to ask reactors to do videos. :)
When both people in a relationship have major, lifelong issues to heal from, they may act and react in ways that are toxic to each other and to themselves. In spite of good intentions and outside help for both parties, it may not be healthy for the relationship to continue. In the context of the song, might Ren have pulled Bibi underwater with him if she had stayed, drowning them both?
She was. And even though they are not together anymore, they still very much love each other and respect one another. Which is not something everybody can do after a break up.
![ทุกครั้งที่หลับตา (Lucid Dream) - AYLA's [ Official MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4i1OBAQyv58/mqdefault.jpg)
This song hit me like a freaking truck as soon as she started singing...It speaks so powerfully to my heart when he is having his break down and she comes in saying "can i interrupt?" this is 100% how it is for me right now...and i am so incredibly thankful she is there to "interrupt" my breakdowns.
Oh man can I relate… first time I heard it, I wept like a baby. And after that, I’ve cried every, really every time, at that exact moment. I was in a deep hole, and my Bbi never left my side.😭❤
This is a hauntingly beautiful song. Bibi, who was his girlfriend at the time did an interview about this time. If you search Google for "Sussex Tab, Ren and Bibi" you should be able to find it. It must have been a deeply traumatic time for both of them. For him to be going through so much and yet still be able to create such incredible art as this just shows what an incredible artist and human being he is.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned it, but this song was not only released before he got diagnosed, but he and Bibi were dating at the time. So Bibi's part is indeed her saying she will take care of him and he isn't alone. After he was dumped by Sony when he got really sick, bibi made a gofundme and she raised £4000 for him to get treatment in the US. That makes the song even more vulnerable and impactful. i sadly have been there myself, I was engaged to a guy who got really sick and almost died, he is still struggling with his physical and mental health 4 years later and we aren't together anymore but we are still good friends. I was a crutch for him for over a year and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done because I was alsos truggling with my mental health at the time, but I did what felt right and what I had to do, I had everything I could to help him out and make him feel better every time I visited him at the hospital.
Back to Ren, I'm so happy to see how far he's come health wise and seeing him looking healthier and how the treatment in Canada is working for him, when he released this song he was at a really low point because he was so sick and he didn't know what was wrong with him, and now he knows and he's getting treated and it seems to be working. And all through hell and back he never gave up. I admire him a lot. Thank you Rosalie for your reaction as always.
Great comment . And you are right - Bibi helped a lot - she raised the funds so he could get the stem cell transplant .
@@Silkytoaster yeah she did something amazing tbh!! And thanks!
It really is like this.. i have lupus and lyme. It is a struggle to feel like others are a "crutch" and to be so vulnerable and dependent on people when you feel weak. I was hospitalized again last week.. this time was scary. Its hard to see our own strengths at moments like this. I can see why Ren wrote this song for sure. Coming out of it, I'm glad it doesn't last forever.
thank you for your comment and vulnerability. I hope you are feeling a bit better today.
This one hits me from the perspective of being the crutch. Wanting so badly to fix everything, but it's never fixed, never over, never moves to another phase or chapter. When he's pulling himself up using her body, her strength to hold onto, he clutches on in desperation, overwhelming her with his physical size and looming need. Been there. Sometimes it feels like being the lifeguard who is being pulled under by a drowning person you desperately love and want to save. Don't get me wrong ... my heart breaks when I see Ren crying and I want to hug him and fix it. My heart literally hurts for everything he's been through. I'm a natural fixer and feel that way about a lot of people and situations. But I have had to learn to set boundaries and stop thinking I'm a super hero. I'm not. And if I crack, then who is there to support me and the people I already take care of? But sometimes people feel perhaps Bibi abandoned him in real life - I don't know their story and how/why it ended so I can't comment, nor would I even if I knew. Relationships without this type of pressure may not last and it may have run its natural course. I believe they are still close. At any rate ... as a crutch, she did the job of a crutch. A crutch is typically a temporary solution to keep you mobile while you heal from an injury. If your injury is never going to heal, then you will likely need more than a crutch. I know few emotionally healthy people who have given their entire lives over to being a forever crutch for someone else, no matter how much they love them. We all need that crutch at some point. So for the people who are mad at the end because she's not there (and many people have big feelings about that, which is fine, we all have our triggers), she may not be there, but he was standing on his feet and couldn't have gotten there without her.
I truly think it takes more than one person who loves an individual that needs years of support. Together we make the difference and are stronger when we allow moments for ourselves to tap out, let someone else take over for a bit, breathe and relax before we tap back in. Especially if you go in with unrealistic expectations that you, and you alone, are the only one who can "fix" physical, emotional or mental needs of another person.
This video breaks my heart on so many levels! But life is sometimes heartbreaking.
powerful comment and very relatable!! i see what you mean. and I agree. there are 2 sides (and more) to the matter and I think there is wisdom in knowing it takes a village so to speak, boundaries. etc. i hope you have people in your life who can lift you up too, especially if you are often those others lean on. yes, life is indeed heartbreaking.
Love your comment .
@RosalieReacts I do have a great support team, thank you! It took lots of therapy to get to the place where I could allow myself to be on the receiving end of help, and to even actually ask for it. I found myself realizing how hurtful it is to others to be the ones always taking from me without being given a chance to reciprocate. (There may or may not have been a comment from a friend good enough to say that she had seen all of my clothes, but never my super hero outfit, so that must mean that I didn't actually have to act like one. Then she called me a stubborn bitch, we cried, hugged and I love her forever for that piece of tough love.) But I realized I was robbing my loved ones of the joy I feel when I can do something for them, since I refused offers of help. My 87 year old mom lives with us now, and tells me she's a useless burden. She's not. I adore her! I just went through a pretty major surgery.
At first I refused help from her (because, duh, I apparently have to learn the same lesson over and over). But she's frail and I didn't want her to do my laundry because it hurts her back. It consisted mostly of nightgowns anyway, so I finally just said, "Thank you." She fed my dogs and put them out, changed my bandages, and brought me sherbet every night before I went to sleep. (Now I can't fit into anything except my nightgowns because I ate sherbet every night for several weeks, though. Lol.) And I also accepted help from my husband, who wanted to reciprocate the care I had taken of him throughout his back surgery earlier in the year. (It's been a rough year!) But why do I even write all this? I am hoping that someone else with a savior complex, the self-proclaimed crutch, who is dying of mental and physical exhaustion and starting to feel depleted and resentful, will see it and allow themselves to also receive help. It's much more of a balanced relationship when we take care of each other. We caretakers are a stubborn bunch, though, and can always use a reminder. 😉 Love what you're doing here, you beautiful soul! ❤️
It's nuts that Ren only has a million subscribers. He should have 100 million, if not more, but I guess all in good time.
In good time like you said
This whole goal of y'all lifting him up made me cryyyy. He really does deserve all the love.
Damn...this kid keeps making me cry
This was even before he got his lyme disease diagnosis. Bibi was his actual girlfriend back then. It is also her in the video.
This is probably his most vulnerable video he EVER did.
This is only third time I heard this song and everytime it made my cry and evoked those heavy thoughts and fears that Ren is singing about. Because this song is so relatable to me and it's hitting so hard.
I want to thank my husband for staying with me, refusing to abandon me for such a long time, even though I have nothing to offer him anymore, even though I am just a burden and one more mouth he has to feed. Being useless, bedridden for almot entire day, every day, slowly going crazy and being incredibly sensitive, depressed and nervous all the time, it has been taking a toll on him too, but he is still here... There are no words to describe the amount of gratitude that I feel, even though I am aware that I have ruined his life, which breaks my heart. Often I just think it would be better if he leaves me and tries to be happy, because he so much deserves it and I wish so badly to see him happy again...
There are not so many people like him in this world...
I love you N. 🖤💔
Doont be so hard on yourself
@@johncollins4402 Thank you. I'm trying not to be.
To me, this song shows what the struggle he had with the devil, described during the 'newsflash. I was created at the dawn of time' segment in HI Ren, really looked like.
He really is extraordinary.
One of my absolute favourite Ren songs! It is a stunning masterpiece perfectly depicting agony and fear in lyrics, singing, music, and even the video. Never has a distorted guitar sounded so emotional to me.
Rosalie you really should listen to the song Ren did called Patience by Ren Gill it’s about 12 yrs old and he did it when he was featured in a documentary called Unrest about people with ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as its known in the USA . This is such a powerful and hopeful song from the younger Ren . He talks about his condition then he sings a song that he made - from this you can see how he became the man he is now . Don’t watch the studio version of Patience - instead watch the version that was part of the documentary Unrest . Loved your reaction to Crutch .
I totally agree with every word! So heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time
The way I interpret this is that she never existed but was a mental crutch constructed by his brain as a coping mechanism and the pain he must have felt in loosing the love of his life when the realisation that she was merely a symptom of his psychosis! Breaks my heart
Ahhhhh one of my favourite reactors reacting to one of my favourite Ren songs, i've been waiting for this for months, great beeakdown too
😌👌
Thank you very much! :)
I think the lack of clothes shows the vulnerability of body. And grasping and posturing are PAIN . Then the medication and water were the copeing he was prescribed. But in the end he was still alone dealing with his symptoms. 😢😢 WOW REN !! So glad you did your own research and headed in the right direction ❤❤
I am so glad you're reviewing this song! Majorly underrated.
All these comments from your audience is amazing, the fact they feel comfortable to show their vulnerability here is astoundingly beautiful, i wish everyone the best in life, you're all gorgeous in your own ways and you are loved 🥰
I've never heard this song before, until now, and it makes me realise how many songs Ren has released and how deep he goes
Feels a bit 50 shades "love me like you do"
Liebe Rosalie, danke für dein Video. Bibi war zu dieser Zeit Rens Freundin. Sie war wirklich für ihn da und hat auch das erste Gofundme initiiert. Nach der Trennung sind Ren und Romain zusammen gezogen. Also wie immer. Alles passiert aus einem Grund...
Und Bibi und Ren mögen und respektieren sich auch heute noch. Was ich absolut vorbildlich finde. Wie viele Paare schaffen das nach einer Trennung nicht? Sehr, sehr viele.
This one took me about 30 times before I could do it without crying. I hate asking people to go into the super sad stuff. But I also feel like for Ren people hearing and loving the dark parts of his music may help him. I hope it does at least.
Thank you!!! I love this one so much. Now that the newer stuff is out, and he gives updates to the fans that he is okay, this song is a lot easier. I just remind myself that he's okay now. One thing about this one I really love, is when the beat comes in as BiBi steps in sounds like a heart beat, and knowing even in his darkest times his creativity never slowed it's probably something that he got an idea from while in the hospital. :) As always love love hearing your thoughts.
Very impactful, beautiful song with a breathtaking video. Ren seems to be at his worst, don't know how he got through it. Pity Bibi is no longer with Ren she was someone who he really needed at that time.
She was so vital for him back then. Was going through thick and thin with him. Set up the first gofundme and everything. Wonderful woman. And they still respect one another to this day.
@@Hexenkind1 Yes, her gentleness and kindness shines through brightly. I have this on the Freckled Angels CD but I find it difficult to listen. This is one of his most heartbreaking songs.
That's one of the main reasons I like Ren so much. Hes a real human bean that cares about uplifting other artists, reaction channels and the commenters. And treats it like one big happy family, community or group of friends. He's blowing up all over the world yet he hasn't changed since the first time I saw him. And he gives back. He stays in touch with his fans even though he's going through a rough treatment. He stays humble. I love this guy. I'm a 50 yr old man and he touches my heart and soul like no artists have in a long long time
Literally just watched this for the first time and it hit me so deep that I had to come see who reacted to it…SO happy you did this TODAY because I needed someone to acknowledge the freaking genius of this song
I have listened to this song so many times. But, for some reason it hit me hard after you read the description. The anxiety attack that he had during the heavy guitar breakdown, made me feel the hurt in this song.
And her leaving after the breakdown hit me in a very personal way.
I love this song. I feel that the first half with Bibi is the romantic idea of supporting somebody through mental health and the second half is the harsh reality of trying to support somebody through the hell that is mental health issues. Amazing song.
Although this song isnt very long it is powerful it reminded me of some rough times that my wife had during her illness and the way it just kept breaking her down mentally the longer it went it took a long time for her to come to terms with it all and then when she finally did things were better but then she passed away so this hits me quite hard having lived this for a long time. As always your ride or die forever Eyyyy Ooooo. on another note we are finally coming up on 100k I love this for you and for us as a community I knew you would get this milestone I am happy to say that I watched this build from the ground up and that there are so many people here and still coming to see how good you are at breaking down music and lyrics and putting it into terms that can be understood easily by all I appreciate you so much.
Thank you for sharing that, Willey. I can only imagine what you went through. Thank you for your vulnerability here and sharing your story and thank you very much for being part of this community from the start. Grateful to have people that are rejoicing with me, even though we’ve never met in person. What an honor to cross paths like this. You’re a true ride or die.
Thank you for reacting to this song! Other songs of Ren have impacted me and brought tears to my eyes. This song straight ripped my soul open. Ren really knows how to resonate with raw human experience.
Great reaction again
Unfortunately I understand this feeling all to well although I will never been be able to control my condition ( Not related to drugs or alcohol ) I've tried to make peace with my pain and the feeling I may break at any moment but I've also learned to master the art of putting on a facade when it's at its worse so I don't feel a burden but it has cost me many things in my life my marriage a lot of friendships people who I trusted would be there but walked away so I no longer open up to anyone not even doctors in my darkest times I've contemplated suicide even tried once it was not something I'm proud of but I understand how people can get to that stage because when your body and mind are in a constant battle you just become overwhelmed to a point you can't see anything but darkness along with dread and fear so it feels like the only option left
So this song hits me really close to home
One of my favorite songs from Ren. I can relate to it…
Many of Ren's older songs are lyrically amazing.
I love all your reactions to Ren. Thanks for showing so much support
Life is one big experience, we need to learn as we will always make mistakes, as long as we learn and grow from it then great, not just for you but for those around you.
One just never knows what they are going to get with Ren. Thanks.. "For Joe" is a pretty amazing live collaboration of many of these songs with some beauuuuuuuutiful piano played by ren.
Wonderful breakdown of this track.
I owe you (and, I hate to admit it, the TH-cam algorithm) a great deal, as it was through a random pop-up in my "suggested" that I discovered your channel, and that suggestion was your reaction to Ren's (at the time) new single, Hi Ren. Thus, I joined you and a host of others in the Ren rabbithole.
Thank you. Keep up your great work discussing and analysing excellent music and videos.
thank you for reacting to this beautiful song ❤❤❤❤
A very deep and emotional song. Morissette Amon has a song called "Will You Stay", about that very topic.
Such an amazing performance from them both, just incredible. Perfectly reacted to as well, I love your channel and all you informative insights.
Rosalie insightful again! I love the way you are able to articulate so many issue's you pick up on in your reactions. Keep it up, we need more people who are not afraid to communicate important ideas to everyone.
Love this song from the first time I heard it .. 💐 Bibi was a Ren's partner at that time.
Congrats for the milestone ! Not so important but mirroring nevertheless the quality of your contributions. Much Love Sister !
Love the new haircut!
Bibi was Ren's girlfriend. Not sure of the timeline of their relationship but she was still with him when he was finally diagnosed with Lyme's. This video is fascinating to me because you could interpret Bibi as a delusion. If I lose my mind will you stay... if I get better will I lose the delusion? Either way she got him up and on his feet.
36 year old man yet even the start of this song makes me cry because I know what's coming.
Incredible song .... again Ren tears himself apart to reveal his truth allowing us to reflect on the threads that connect us.
One of the more compelling motivations not mentioned in your commentary is that this song provokes for me, is the fear that you are poison.
The torture is that you are despirate for help, their presence, their love is so important, so cherished, they are hope, the only light in the darkness, you may feel like they are the only external reason to stay, to fight, to breathe .... but you risk smothering them, extinguishing that gentle flame by reaching out and trying to hold on to it (the belief that the struggle, the sacrifice, the chaos will drag all you reach out to, deeper into the pit of Hell that is consuming you and ultimately drown them)
This is one of my favorites, even though it’s not easy to watch. But both the song and video are stunning! This was before he knew he had Lyme Disease, so he didn’t know whether his body and mind would continue to deteriorate. “If I lose my mind, would you stay with me?” gets me every time.
Bibi was his girlfriend at the time and her tenderness is accentuated by the heartbeat-like percussion. It’s such a beautiful part. She helped with Ren’s GoFundMe campaign to raise money for his treatment.
can u please tell me, bibi also make music now? How can i find here music?
tweo million now lets go!
Love that you reacted to this.
This song reminds me of the relationship and mairrage of 20 years i had with my wife. She had a secret life i knew nothing about till the last two years of our marriage. I was shocked when told me everything. If i had known i would have gotten her more help than she had. Things would have been different. Our relationship would have been different.
Ren brings to mind Bill Withers in the song use me 4:00
Ren did a "Aint no sunshine" rendition btw. Search for it. You will be stoked.
Her name is Bibi Lea-Ding. She is a tattooist, singer, artist. Her voice is amazing, and I agree, completely compliments Ren's. This is such a powerful song.
You did Crutch too! 🥺. This song was on my blacklist for a while because I couldn't listen/watch without getting super emotional.
Thank you so much for your contributions to the #renathon 💛
Raw REN dition
Bibi is a tattoo artist and was Ren’s girlfriend at the time of this video.
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I tried to dodge this song until today (9th of August 23) didn't know why I did that. I watched it a few hours ago and I am still not oke. I am hoping watching it with you that I can start to recover. It is hitting so close to home. The video is like modern dance. Expressing it. The sounds. Ripping my soul out of me.
I've lost so much that I decided to not let anybody in anymore until I know how to feel like I am good enough. ❤
I can tell you must really be hurting, Claudia. I know we don't know each other personally, but thank you for your courage to be vulnerable here today. please know you are loved and worthy of love and peace. you are seen. the space you feel is precious. you are more precious than rubies and gold. please don't give up. you already are more than good enough!
@@rosalieelliottofficial Thank you so much for your response Rosalie. I have been watching and following your channel since I found Ren and reaction videos. I did not expect a response and being told that I am being seen is still feeling awkward. Being told that I am worthy still makes me cry.
It took decades of misdiagnosis both physically and mentally to get me to where I am finally brave enough to do trauma therapy. But him talking about losing my mind while my body was in pain, being told it was just in my head, that trauma we did not even discussed yet. Now knowing that losing my mind is due to bipolar adhd and cptst, physically a rare hereditary disorder, that I am not "crazy", not my lack of working hard caused it all.
Now I teach at the University of applied sciences Nursing studies in the Netherlands from the position of Expert by lived experience (EBE) with co-created coursework about how to connect with a human being instead of a patient. About new / other ways of mental health. And how to use your own life experiences as a nurse to help yourself stay mentally healthy and how to coach your patients to help themselves.
I use my own story and others to teach. It sometimes helps and sometimes it hits me. Now with Ren spreading so much wisdom, I hope I can use his work to lighten some of the load.
Sorry for this whole essay. Thank you if you read it all. I am completely open about my story. So that is okay 😊.
I am actually feeling better now. Being reminded how somebody else sees me and what my experiences gave me, the best vocation there is imo, sooths me.
Thank you Rosalie. Thank you. A big warm hug from the Netherlands 🇱🇺
@@claudiarovers9787 it is wonderful finding ways to share your story and inspire and encourage others in the process. keep going :) I'm glad you're doing better. sending a warm hug back to you
Bibi was his girlfriend at the time. I suffer from stage 4 liver disease, I know the theme of this song all too well... I feel my body dying and just trying to keep going..
Rosalie. I am an old man and maybe this is just what old men do…but there is a man out there who may not even know you are coming.
That will be a very lucky young man indeed. May he deserve you.
Ren?!? Hello! 🥸
#thereneffect ❤❤❤
The song gives me death rock vibes at times. Bands who do death rock are Burning Image, Kommunity FX, The Flesh Eaters etc.
Often one doesn't tell the other about the struggles and pain, because the other one also suffers somehow... it this toxic? But can a onesided relationship work? Is it all about distraction? Are we consuming each other like drugs? Can relationships of two pretenders work? Sure, there are countless definitions of a relationship or even non-relationship. Probably every person has to solve his/her problems and fight his/her own struggles for self acceptance and balance. So, do we have to be alone, to be able, to come together?
I had no idea he was signed eith Sony yeeears ago and dropped bc of his health issues. Her name, btw, is Bibi Lea-Ding
❤️🎶🎶🎧 🎶🎶 ❤️
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Itd be nice to have a "bibi" instead of someone who tells me to get over it, ignore it, or fight through it.
ren was dating Bibi at this time which makes her disappearing at the end of the video hit that much harder
Bibi was REN’s girlfriend at the time I don’t think they are together anymore but I think they are still on good terms because of the way he has spoken about her in one of his community posts promoting this song.
I will say it again and again Ren is on his way for Greatness!! And I 100% think he is Prince reincarnated lol!
😢😢😢😢😢
Curious...how do I get an invite to this collection reactors?
check out my instagram post. I tagged the girl, who reached out. I think her and a few other ladies had gotten together to ask reactors to do videos. :)
That was his girlfriend at the time in 2016. Bibi.
When both people in a relationship have major, lifelong issues to heal from, they may act and react in ways that are toxic to each other and to themselves. In spite of good intentions and outside help for both parties, it may not be healthy for the relationship to continue. In the context of the song, might Ren have pulled Bibi underwater with him if she had stayed, drowning them both?
very true and valid points!
You should listen to Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies
Bibi was his gf
The crutch disappearing could also signify healing. He no longer needs the crutch. Not that i think it's that, just another possible interpretation
Bibi was his girlfriend
Bibi was his girlfriend at that time ! Don't know if she stayed with him or for how long. I know they aren't together now
Bibi was his girlfriend at the time I believe.
Bibi is his ex gf
Bibi was Ren;s girlfriend at this time.
Think bibi was his girlfriend at the time
She was. And even though they are not together anymore, they still very much love each other and respect one another.
Which is not something everybody can do after a break up.
Rens Universe ist so klein