Diogenes, the Publicly-Defecating Philosopher

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
  • Yet when I do it suddenly it's a crime
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ความคิดเห็น • 10K

  • @N0TYALC
    @N0TYALC 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18976

    “I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?”
    -Diogenes

    • @ZOCCOK
      @ZOCCOK 3 ปีที่แล้ว +865

      @@omidhassani4988 damn, that was not a burn, it was the entire sun

    • @dixienormus5868
      @dixienormus5868 3 ปีที่แล้ว +282

      Well he was lucky the man was not asian
      sorry force of habit

    • @expanddong3102
      @expanddong3102 3 ปีที่แล้ว +272

      @@dixienormus5868 I'm an Asian and you know what?
      I'm not even mad

    • @DivideBy0705
      @DivideBy0705 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@omidhassani4988 damnnnn what a comment stealer you are cuz i can clearly see that exact comment over This one

    • @omidhassani4988
      @omidhassani4988 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      @@DivideBy0705 it’s literally something he said. I’m just telling some more stories of Diogenes

  • @andrewcleary9952
    @andrewcleary9952 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9941

    I don't think you quite managed to capture the pure HYPE of Diogenese kicking down the door of a lecture theatre, holding a plucked chicken above his head, screaming *"BEHOLD A MAN!"*

    • @iacopoguidi7871
      @iacopoguidi7871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +792

      "Behold Plato's man!"

    • @greekfreak0482
      @greekfreak0482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Please explain

    • @janaterbio8010
      @janaterbio8010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yes

    • @prototype6706
      @prototype6706 4 ปีที่แล้ว +609

      @@greekfreak0482 Plato said man is a "featherless biped" so Dio the Mano kicked his door in flaunting a, well, featherless chicken.
      *PLATO'S MAN, BEHOLD*

    • @user-ni3rz7go9k
      @user-ni3rz7go9k 4 ปีที่แล้ว +202

      Diogenes an intellectual and rarely a gentle type but 100% MAN.

  • @LuckyBird551
    @LuckyBird551 ปีที่แล้ว +5372

    Another Alexander - Diogenes story is this. Diogenes asked Alexander what he was going to do with that big army of his, to which Alexander replied that he was going to conquer the world. So Diogenes then asked, "What will you do after you have conquered the world?" and Alexander replied "I will rest and enjoy my time." To that Diogenes replied "Well, look at me, I am resting and enjoying my time, and I didn't need to conquer the world to do it."

    • @mrtrollnator123
      @mrtrollnator123 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +641

      Bro violated the most dangerous man in the world 💀

    • @joshuapena4684
      @joshuapena4684 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +105

      So many quotes I've never heard

    • @hasanmuttaqin464
      @hasanmuttaqin464 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      This wasn't diogenes

    • @WxnderXfU
      @WxnderXfU 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That’s the lamest quote from Diogenes I have ever heard jesus christ

    • @Butter_Warrior99
      @Butter_Warrior99 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +151

      I don’t care if this is made up by an ai, Blud would say this.

  • @ordinaryextraordinary9484
    @ordinaryextraordinary9484 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5635

    The whole, “Behold! Plato’s Man!” moment is so much funnier when you realise that Diogenes was a malnourished homeless man and Plato was an Olympic Wrestling Champion. Just some skin-and-bones guy throws a limp featherless chicken down in front of one of the most famous celebrities of his time and basically shouts, “FUCK YOU” in front of all his fans.
    I love it.

    • @sideways5153
      @sideways5153 ปีที่แล้ว +392

      I love the detail that Plato’s response to all that was so weak he just picked some other feature which could also just be ripped from or added to a chicken carcass

    • @joshc5613
      @joshc5613 ปีที่แล้ว +284

      like some homeless dude interrupting Dwayne Johnson during an interview 💀

    • @knowahnosenothing4862
      @knowahnosenothing4862 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

      If only he was alive to see these threads.

    • @muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028
      @muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      i have saw some post that claim that there is an occurence where Plato trying to win an argument with someone just by flexing his bicep funny he never try that with Diogenes

    • @Sarah12471
      @Sarah12471 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@@muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028 i mean plato could definitely do an arm wrestle and win

  • @justaguycalledjosh
    @justaguycalledjosh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8143

    "Diogenes, what are your reccomendations on the best kind of wine?"
    "Somebody else's"

    • @My6119
      @My6119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Underrated comment lol

    • @hinicetomeetya5582
      @hinicetomeetya5582 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      “Joseph Joestar’s blood”

    • @chaircrusaders1257
      @chaircrusaders1257 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@hinicetomeetya5582 FINALLY, THE COMMENT I WAS LOOKING FOR

    • @workhardism
      @workhardism 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      He answer: "I hate everything". Get it, thats a wine (whine).

    • @kishascape
      @kishascape 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Huh, maybe I need to start documenting the rantings of modern day crazy homeless people. I mean we have photography and video now. Who knows maybe people will end up considering them philosophers too.

  • @Prof.CheeseDog
    @Prof.CheeseDog 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11800

    "The only place to spit in a rich man's home is his face"
    -Diogenes

  • @danielvictor3262
    @danielvictor3262 ปีที่แล้ว +5381

    My favorite anecdote of him was when some demagogue tried to debate him saying that "motion" did not actually exist, he just stood up and walked away lmao

    • @jellyfish0311
      @jellyfish0311 ปีที่แล้ว +292

      I wish I remembered his name. Funniest response to that guy imo.

    • @madelinesydney92
      @madelinesydney92 ปีที่แล้ว +135

      @@jellyfish0311 his name was Zeno :3

    • @jellyfish0311
      @jellyfish0311 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@madelinesydney92 thank you :)

    • @mewmew8932
      @mewmew8932 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@madelinesydney92 wasn't he the OG non-believer of motion

    • @gregoryhayes7569
      @gregoryhayes7569 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +122

      @@mewmew8932 Parmenides was "the OG non-believer of motion". Zeno was a follower of Parmenides known for trying to actually prove that motion was impossible.

  • @mcalkis5771
    @mcalkis5771 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4707

    There was a time when he witnessed an archer who was trying to hit a target but kept failing. Diogenes proceeded to stand in front of the target, declaring: " This is the safest spot."

    • @SertWasAName
      @SertWasAName ปีที่แล้ว +691

      So he basically insulted someone’s aim thousands of years before gaming

    • @owliestowlyowl6037
      @owliestowlyowl6037 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      @@SertWasAName I think he meant "Stop trying so hard lol"

    • @FleshWizard69420
      @FleshWizard69420 ปีที่แล้ว +246

      @@SertWasAName "lol git güd noob"
      - Diogenes of Sinope

    • @LeviForWaifu
      @LeviForWaifu ปีที่แล้ว +76

      The absolute savagery

    • @siliconhawk9293
      @siliconhawk9293 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      call a ambulance but not for me

  • @darknesshas1
    @darknesshas1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20444

    Diogenes clowned on Plato so hard we still talk about it thousands out years later

    • @muchwithamouthdogepool255
      @muchwithamouthdogepool255 3 ปีที่แล้ว +401

      What? He really did unfeathered a chicken?

    • @denisveliu973
      @denisveliu973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1302

      @@muchwithamouthdogepool255 yes he did and plato had to change his term of a human.

    • @Benxall
      @Benxall 3 ปีที่แล้ว +692

      @@muchwithamouthdogepool255 fuker walked in, said "behold! A man!" And left. Absolute fucking legend

    • @ardademir1661
      @ardademir1661 3 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      @@muchwithamouthdogepool255 you thought this video was fake?

    • @kartoffelwillipeter3067
      @kartoffelwillipeter3067 3 ปีที่แล้ว +850

      *ancient greek hobo makes a fool out of reknown philosopher *
      _people thousands of years later:_ lmao gottem

  • @NetVoyagerOne
    @NetVoyagerOne 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9659

    Alexander found the philosopher looking attentively at a pile of human bones. Diogenes explained, "I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave."

    • @funnylittlecreature
      @funnylittlecreature 4 ปีที่แล้ว +552

      man that's just like what joe said the other day

    • @lettuce7273
      @lettuce7273 4 ปีที่แล้ว +292

      @@funnylittlecreature who's joe

    • @fall-from-grace1008
      @fall-from-grace1008 4 ปีที่แล้ว +776

      @@lettuce7273 JOE MAMA

    • @lettuce7273
      @lettuce7273 4 ปีที่แล้ว +188

      Fall-From-Grace ya got me

    • @lettuce7273
      @lettuce7273 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Pluto the Forgotten one I think my friend Juan woulda gotten it tbh

  • @Finkelfunk
    @Finkelfunk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15381

    Nearly 9000 comments and no one has mentioned this anecdote of Diogenes:
    When the city where he lived was about to be attacked by an army, everybody started to panic and ran around aimlessly.
    Diogenes saw that, took his barrel and started to push it up a hill. Once he was up, he rolled it down again, and started over.
    When people came and asked why he was rolling his barrel up and down the hill he said: "I am just trying to make myself as useful as everybody else here"

    • @user-mg7wh8zq6v
      @user-mg7wh8zq6v 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1769

      i like to think even the soldiers was puzzled enough to halt fighting and look at his shenanigans

    • @CoralCopperHead
      @CoralCopperHead 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1251

      I can't tell if this was the inspiration for the boulder-pushing punishment in Greek mythology, or if he heard about that fable and then decided to re-enact it for shits and giggles.

    • @user-dq6og5cw4c
      @user-dq6og5cw4c 2 ปีที่แล้ว +660

      @@CoralCopperHead I am fairly sure that the myth came first, so probably the second one.

    • @JaelinBezel
      @JaelinBezel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +273

      Okay but imagine if no one asked him what he was doing. How long would he have kept it up?

    • @user-Prometheus
      @user-Prometheus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Another anecdote about him: He would usually carry a lamp with him during the day wherever he went, and when people asked him why he was carrying a lamp, he would reply that he is in search of an honest man. An “honest man” meaning that the entirety of Athens is corrupt, and nothing like a democracy.

  • @user-xz1wy4to4o
    @user-xz1wy4to4o ปีที่แล้ว +2166

    they killed socrates for asking too many questions yet they gave the guy literally pissing and shitting on people a pass 💀

    • @blueberry1vom1t
      @blueberry1vom1t ปีที่แล้ว +392

      to be fair he smelled like shit and was surrounded by an army of loyal dogs who followed him around everywhere. Yeah a side note people leave out is that he loved dogs and they loved him. So I guess people wanted to get rid of him, but didn't wanna deal with getting a big enough group of people to get close to his small army of dogs, who would absolutely give them the most infected bite wounds that side of the eastern hemisphere.

    • @standingwhilepooping4685
      @standingwhilepooping4685 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      So what, I see nothing wrong with this.

    • @KnightoftheSorryFace
      @KnightoftheSorryFace 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +152

      @@urmomsmomsmom The jester can speak freely, for nothing he says truly seems to matter

    • @Spleens854
      @Spleens854 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@KnightoftheSorryFace dude roasted the so hard they deleted the comment

    • @KnightoftheSorryFace
      @KnightoftheSorryFace 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@Spleens854 I don't think that was even against the person I replied to, I'm pretty sure I just saw an opportunity to reference a line I really liked in reference to whatever they said

  • @equidistanthoneyjoy7600
    @equidistanthoneyjoy7600 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6669

    Man, shame you didn't mention the part about him walking around with a lantern during the day and shining it in peoples faces saying that he was 'looking for an honest man'.

    • @TheKhopesh
      @TheKhopesh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +958

      Yeah, that is a good one.
      I like how he was actually taken as a slave, and while standing in line to be sold he pointed at one of the potential slave buyers and declared something like "You look like you need a man to run your life for you"... and the guy immediately bought him.
      Diogenes then spent a few years running the man's household. Everything from the finances to cleaning.

    • @DLBBALL
      @DLBBALL 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@TheKhopesh "a years"?

    • @TheKhopesh
      @TheKhopesh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +174

      @@DLBBALL
      Woops, a few years.

    • @MrAwesomeLuisreal
      @MrAwesomeLuisreal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +311

      @@TheKhopesh did he also run the man's wife?

    • @robotmaster4515
      @robotmaster4515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +176

      @@MrAwesomeLuisreal Of course when he wasn't looking.

  • @kylebaird7218
    @kylebaird7218 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2016

    When he was called out for touching himself in public he said “ if I could only rub my belly and make hunger go away.” He must have been really annoying. What a legend.

    • @neckashi6971
      @neckashi6971 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      What does this mean?

    • @kylebaird7218
      @kylebaird7218 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +53

      It’s a smart way of saying he is the bottom of society and leaving him alone is the best course of action for everyone involved.

    • @Boxygirl96
      @Boxygirl96 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@neckashi6971 ‘while I can’t rub my belly to dispel my hunger I can very much rub my d*** to dispel my need for pleasure. So f*** off’

    • @ajasilikonreffkmimmon
      @ajasilikonreffkmimmon 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@neckashi6971He is masturbating

    • @wilby8249
      @wilby8249 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@kylebaird7218 isnt it more like he rubs his dick and horniness goes away and wishes the same for hunger??

  • @juwwad
    @juwwad 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +535

    Surprising how nobody has mentioned when Diogenes was exiled from his city he replied,
    "I condemn you to live in this city".

    • @invurret9533
      @invurret9533 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Didn't he get kicked out for debasing and hyperinflating the local currency too?

    • @vittoriof.8088
      @vittoriof.8088 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      How can a homeless man hyperinflate a local currency?

    • @invurret9533
      @invurret9533 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      @vittoriof.8088 He was the son of the Mintmaster of Sinope and became his father's apprentice. Then he debased the currency (which lead to hyperinflation), was banished and ended up as the homeless man in Athens.
      Edit: Found out why he did it: He went to the oracle of Delphi and was told to debase the currency, and after the Sinope incident, decided that the oracle meant the political currency.

    • @vittoriof.8088
      @vittoriof.8088 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@invurret9533 Damn, thats something you don't learn in school.

    • @skeletonbuyingpealts7134
      @skeletonbuyingpealts7134 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@invurret9533what a chad

  • @pieandcheese647
    @pieandcheese647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6849

    “The wise man at the nudist beach covers not his balls, but his face”
    -Diogenes (I think)

    • @b4594
      @b4594 3 ปีที่แล้ว +239

      Wise words from a wise man

    • @causticmain7477
      @causticmain7477 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@b4594 a wise man indeed

    • @kikiretzorg1467
      @kikiretzorg1467 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Hmm, yes, very wise

    • @causticmain7477
      @causticmain7477 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      @@kikiretzorg1467 have you heard the story of
      Darth Plagueis the wise

    • @microwave8931
      @microwave8931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      This sounds like something he would say

  • @candy2712
    @candy2712 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5518

    "I am Alexander, I can offer you literally anything."
    "k fam, get outta my way"

    • @TheCutePyro
      @TheCutePyro 6 ปีที่แล้ว +377

      flames 64 The most powerful man in the world said he will do anything for you and you ask him to get out of your way.

    • @maelgugi
      @maelgugi 6 ปีที่แล้ว +294

      Reese Frohlich
      Actually it's a pretty deep request, basically he said "let me live my life the way I want it to be without the interference of big government or pointless random norms imposed by society"... or maybe he was already in his way, I guess we'll never know

    • @candy2712
      @candy2712 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      maelgugi "live my live"

    • @maelgugi
      @maelgugi 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      flames 64
      Thanks for helping my english

    • @candy2712
      @candy2712 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      maelgugi np

  • @Mightymite1
    @Mightymite1 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +278

    When Diogenes was to be sold to slavery, he was asked which task he was best at. He replied, "Being a master."

  • @rashto3940
    @rashto3940 ปีที่แล้ว +313

    I am downright appalled that Diogenes isn't talked about as nearly as he should be his life story is completely insane

    • @rosethunder3820
      @rosethunder3820 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      The fact we still know so much about him today says everything

  • @tapadhleibh3052
    @tapadhleibh3052 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1748

    Diogenes: The First Shitposter
    Coming to your local movie theater soon!

    • @carcinogenicthalidomide3057
      @carcinogenicthalidomide3057 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      A NGE fan,pretty rare these days.

    • @tapadhleibh3052
      @tapadhleibh3052 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just in Y. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only teen who really loves NGE

    • @carcinogenicthalidomide3057
      @carcinogenicthalidomide3057 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@tapadhleibh3052 for a show from 1995,you sure are. Genuinely Good anime shows are rare nowadays.

    • @lephantomchickn3676
      @lephantomchickn3676 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Literally if you think about it

    • @whypinky3491
      @whypinky3491 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Onika M starships were meant to fly

  • @TheKarp
    @TheKarp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5958

    There was also the one about the Archer that kept missing his target in the archery range. Diogenes then sat next to the target saying "this is the safest spot".

    • @xavi.cat.4095
      @xavi.cat.4095 3 ปีที่แล้ว +239

      Uh... For that to make sense, shouldn't he be in front of the target? Since, you know, it's the target that's he's missing? If he misses the target, which he will, and the arrow goes to the side he's on, the world would lose its first living meme.

    • @TheKarp
      @TheKarp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +467

      @@xavi.cat.4095 my bad, misworded. By beside I meant in front of the target

    • @JC-vp7pd
      @JC-vp7pd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      @@TheKarpThen edit and fix your comment 😐

    • @gabrielreda
      @gabrielreda 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @I kissed your dad You should your name

    • @Tarzan118
      @Tarzan118 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Gabriel Reda you should edit my fat fucking nuts

  • @Tyler-ip7mj
    @Tyler-ip7mj ปีที่แล้ว +181

    Diogenes' had a student named Menippus who was also a Cynic. Lucian wrote some stories about Menippus going to the Underworld and in one of them Menippus has a conversation with Cerberus and it's basically just him going "gods you're really living the dream as a dog"

  • @firewizardrunepro
    @firewizardrunepro 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +38

    Digenes living till 89 at that time period is insane

    • @taureanbeaver3203
      @taureanbeaver3203 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's probably not nearly as insane as we've been misled to believe. We get the message that life was exceedingly miserable and short from the same systems that educated the orphans of genocidal conquests. Central authoritarians have no rational justification for their positions, so it's necessary to instill fears based on lies as the only acceptable common knowledge in order to maintain followers who dutifully perform their services and enlist their children in armies.
      I would guess that the average lifespan of hermits who live on berries in the mountains is longer than the average affluent person hustling through life under the baseless and un-perceived oppression of cultural norms of any false society which can't function within the limitations of Dunbar's number.
      My theory is that a true human society would result in much higher average lifespans for the tribe. It would, in fact, at the very least remove the burden of cognitive dissonance and afford a better quality of life than any amount of toys, widgets or sideshows could ever provide.

    • @kargaroc386
      @kargaroc386 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      If you got past early childhood, you had a decent enough chance to get to just about the same age as nowadays.

  • @ShnoogleMan
    @ShnoogleMan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5856

    Greek philosophers were the edgelords of the ancient world.

    • @IchCharacter
      @IchCharacter 6 ปีที่แล้ว +274

      And Geek philosophers are the edgelords of modern time. How curious.

    • @Goldenheart_345
      @Goldenheart_345 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I wish I found you sooner

    • @bauhausa6933
      @bauhausa6933 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      ShnoogleMan of course,fucking anybody is a edgelord..Fucking Hell

    • @jafrost1328
      @jafrost1328 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Ever seen a modern philosophy lecture? Filled with fedoras and mens rights activists

    • @judgeholden6761
      @judgeholden6761 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@jafrost1328 Very true but like I've also seen tumblr thread attempts to be philosophical and between the two mirror-copy yin-yang lonely self-obsessed polar opposites that are the neckbeard and the tumblr "SJW" or whatever, I'll take the smelly narcissist who can at least articulate abstract thought logically over the magical thinking electric blue-haired identity wizard who tries to weaponize personal weakness and moral superiority any day xD

  • @jmr2343
    @jmr2343 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15740

    Don’t forget when Alexander the Great asked Diogenes why he was digging through a pile of bones, and Diogenes said, “I was looking for your father, but I can’t dispute his bones with that of a slave.”

    • @cyberdiver7076
      @cyberdiver7076 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2357

      Damn I think Alexander got 3rd degree burn from that roast

    • @cpegg5840
      @cpegg5840 3 ปีที่แล้ว +545

      Olympias would have found that hilarious if she were present

    • @thegoldengamer9315
      @thegoldengamer9315 3 ปีที่แล้ว +329

      Third degree burns.

    • @TheNinja94a
      @TheNinja94a 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1160

      Okay why is Diogenes just straight roasting Alexander-is there like, a history or something? Does Diogenes not like the imbalance of power a monarchy has, and insults Alexander as a result?
      Edit: Googled it, since after posting this comment, I realized that anything that I can type here can be typed into a URL. Yeah, it was the second one. He disliked Alex's want for power.

    • @jmr2343
      @jmr2343 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Cockroach yup.

  • @NStripleseven
    @NStripleseven ปีที่แล้ว +50

    That bit where he wanted to be thrown into the wilderness after he died had another part to it. He was discussing this with someone, and they asked why he would allow his body to be torn to shreds. He responded “Well then, I’ll ask them to give me a knife so I can defend myself.” After the obvious “what are you going to do with a knife, you’ll be dead,” he responded with “Then why should I care what happens to me?”

  • @FightingPost
    @FightingPost 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    The Greek for when Diogenes told Alexander to move apparently has a double meaning. Alternatively meaning “enlighten me”. Which makes it even more cool

  • @captainjules6033
    @captainjules6033 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55747

    Fun fact, after that whole “blocking the sun” line, Alexander, unfazed, said “if I was not Alexander, I would want to be Diogenes” to which Diogenes responded “if I was not Diogenes, I would still want to be Diogenes.” The madman.

  • @yoboikamil525
    @yoboikamil525 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6889

    when we talked about him in school he was apparently some cultured philosopher, but irl he was a living shitpost.

    • @KittyPants.
      @KittyPants. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      Why is that so accurate tho?

    • @provokatorasalitirios
      @provokatorasalitirios 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@KittyPants. yes

    • @corinthiaevangeline9023
      @corinthiaevangeline9023 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      I feel like he'd love tumblr

    • @MasonGreenWeed
      @MasonGreenWeed 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@corinthiaevangeline9023 before the great purge

    • @surfboardjoker6299
      @surfboardjoker6299 2 ปีที่แล้ว +251

      @@corinthiaevangeline9023 He'd probably be disgusted with almost every aspect of the internet, and modern society. As he should.

  • @corebite
    @corebite ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Diogenes is the epidemy of pure logic. Everything he does is just the embodiment of ones simple and unexplicable desires, without all the symbolic bullshit around it. He was living life just for being and existing. By far the most down to earth guy who wasn't afraid of the hard, cold and simple truth. Ever.

    • @DarrelWatkins77
      @DarrelWatkins77 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You’re so stupid😂

  • @Lunar_Spell
    @Lunar_Spell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    "In a rich man's house, there is no place to spit but in his face."
    - Diogenes

  • @karna5998
    @karna5998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3854

    "Some say He just got tired of living and held his breath until he died " Daaaaaaamn, for some reason it sounds so badass

    • @jinjiyoshi5548
      @jinjiyoshi5548 4 ปีที่แล้ว +293

      I heard that's physically impossible as your body would pass out from lack of air and naturally start taking in oxygen again. But I guess it's a lot more likely the older one gets. Either that, or Diogenes just gave a huge middle finger to science itself, meaning that not even it could fully dictate him.

    • @karna5998
      @karna5998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      @@jinjiyoshi5548 yeah I remember when I was in 6th grade, our principal/teacher said that "you can not commit suicide by holding your breathe, you will become unconscious and you will start breathing on autopilot" pretty dark stuff to tell 6th graders lol but that's how it went down

    • @MineSlimeTV
      @MineSlimeTV 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@karna5998 But why did she suddenly said something like that?
      Sorry for asking such a question my friend

    • @karna5998
      @karna5998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MineSlimeTV I Don't Know Man Haha, Maybe We Are Casual With The Topic Of Death? At that age I didn't understand that it was pretty dark stuff for a 6th grader , because Everyone was like that

    • @MineSlimeTV
      @MineSlimeTV 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@karna5998 Oooh..I see
      and I was not expecting such a sudden answer!
      I mostly remember I was in those days questioning and or thinking allot about topics that maybe were controversial at that time.
      Like me asking who really was "The Virgin Mary"
      and on my mind discovering the idea of homosexuality as something normal and out of the ordinary.
      I even thought that african-american and such simply had such "tan"
      because they stayed a long time on the sun,
      making me think they just during their youth did a mistake and now their skin suddenly changed.
      I just..felt to share some odd things that I remeber or I mostly did
      I hope that was not too.unusual at all

  • @Anon26535
    @Anon26535 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    You thought "behold, a man" was a stupid meme from the internet, when in fact it was I, DIOgenes!

  • @Btester2
    @Btester2 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Once plato saw him washing vegetables in a river and plato said:
    If you knew how to court kings you wouldnt have to wash vegetables.
    To this dio said:
    If uou knew how to wash vegetables you wouldnt have to court kings.

  • @PyroChimp75
    @PyroChimp75 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5755

    Diogenes carried a lit lantern through the streets in broad daylight, when asked why he carries a lantern he'd reply that he was "fruitlessly searching for a sincere man/person".

    • @ILOVEDILFS42069
      @ILOVEDILFS42069 3 ปีที่แล้ว +135

      "The mad man"

    • @p1ntu_
      @p1ntu_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Is this true?

    • @witherblaze
      @witherblaze 3 ปีที่แล้ว +151

      @@p1ntu_ no. It's a story made up by Nietzche

    • @cdogthehedgehog6923
      @cdogthehedgehog6923 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      What he actually meant by this was he was looking for a "real human being" because he didn't think humans were real.
      Seriously.

    • @witherblaze
      @witherblaze 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@cdogthehedgehog6923 wha?

  • @Fanimati0n
    @Fanimati0n 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17435

    You forgot the further interaction between Alexander the Great & Diogenes. After he told him to quit blocking his sunlight, Alexander, in awe of Diogenes' testicular fortitude, told him "if I were not already Alexander, I would wish to be you." To which Diogenes responded "If I weren't me, I'd want to be me too."

    • @kamai9440
      @kamai9440 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1214

      Badass

    • @Noway022
      @Noway022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +757

      And then the whole class stood up and started clapping

    • @kamai9440
      @kamai9440 4 ปีที่แล้ว +453

      @@Noway022 diogenes: I'm gonna dab on those emperor's

    • @mfrommi6593
      @mfrommi6593 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Thug Life

    • @calmdown5559
      @calmdown5559 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      It's literally in the video...

  • @aes2621
    @aes2621 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    I remember when this video came out, I thought it was really one of the funniest videos.
    Now 5 years later I’m using it as a source in my philosophy thesis lol

    • @thetexan1011
      @thetexan1011 ปีที่แล้ว

      How did it go?

    • @bierwolf8360
      @bierwolf8360 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      you really are putting a lot of effort into your burger-flipping career

    • @aldrich_leon8547
      @aldrich_leon8547 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      its been 10 months. how's your thesis going?

  • @Prizm17
    @Prizm17 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    0:50 I always took “he has a bowl but saw a kid drinking from his hands and said ‘what do I need this shit for’ “ as he gave the kid his bowl cuz he was a nice dude, after watching so many times it finally hit me, the bowl is obsolete, he wasn’t being nice and giving the kid the bowl he threw it away because his hands were all he needed 😂😂😂

  • @RotaAbyssian
    @RotaAbyssian 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21110

    The best thing about Diogenes' death is that he used it as a final lesson. When people protested about throwing his dead body to the forest, diogenes replied "Fine, then strap a sword or stick in my hand so I may fight them off." when people then replied with the obvious fact that he wouldn't be alive nor conscious to fend them off, he fired back "then I suppose I won't conscious enough to CARE what happens to me, will I?"

    • @diretnandomnan6060
      @diretnandomnan6060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +404

      😂😂 fucking cynic

    • @elliotwright6823
      @elliotwright6823 3 ปีที่แล้ว +846

      shrek DSMN IT SPOILERS I DIDNT WANT TO KNOWMIF HE DIED

    • @elliotwright6823
      @elliotwright6823 3 ปีที่แล้ว +326

      Oh I forgot I have go d autocorrected to shrek

    • @cheems2739
      @cheems2739 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Perfect Events me too 😂

    • @zejdland
      @zejdland 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      th-cam.com/video/pGZZbl-4cIQ/w-d-xo.html

  • @nikgokuhil
    @nikgokuhil 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10799

    Alternative route-
    Diogenes covers himself in feathers-
    I'VE ABANDONED MY HUMANITY PLATO!!!!

    • @chaircrusaders1257
      @chaircrusaders1257 3 ปีที่แล้ว +893

      DIO was in fact wearing a coat with feathers in that scene.
      Coincidence?

    • @SheepSleeper
      @SheepSleeper 3 ปีที่แล้ว +357

      @@chaircrusaders1257 I think NOT

    • @SheepSleeper
      @SheepSleeper 3 ปีที่แล้ว +170

      @Captain Bruh yeah, the joke was kinda forced, but they had the spirit

    • @adrifitz8793
      @adrifitz8793 3 ปีที่แล้ว +263

      Here’s the thing, it’s like JoJokes are like 69 gags. Both are not inherently funny nor original, but they tend to pop in the most unlikely of scenarios that you can’t help but chuckle at the stupidity of their existence. They’re still funny, just not in the way one would expect.

    • @Dokataa
      @Dokataa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @@adrifitz8793 I was gonna call you the oingo boingo of stands but you got there in the end

  • @barnabashanko1806
    @barnabashanko1806 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I have just learned that the guy in Getting Over It is actually a reference to Diogenes.
    (The guy's name is Diogenes too)

  • @br0sine
    @br0sine ปีที่แล้ว +114

    0:17 WELL THAT JUST AGED BADLY

  • @marcotanzilli6510
    @marcotanzilli6510 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7158

    I saw a lot of citations on him but not my favorite, Alexander to make fun of him started calling him dog, and sent to him as a gift one plate full of bones. Diogenes accepted the gift, and sent back the words "Worthy of a dog is this food, unworthy of a king is this gift", the absolute madman

    • @FragmentedR_YT
      @FragmentedR_YT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1523

      Man, dude really lived in one of the greatest conqueror’s heads rent free.

    • @owenkasaboski6902
      @owenkasaboski6902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +575

      @@FragmentedR_YT Nah, he straight up got paid to live there. A plate of bones a day keeps death at bay ( some necromancer somewhere idk where i'm going with this )

    • @konrad8541
      @konrad8541 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Goddamn

    • @Batchall_Accepted
      @Batchall_Accepted 2 ปีที่แล้ว +473

      @@FragmentedR_YT Idk about that from what I read on Alexander I think hed have most definitely got a kick out of this shit. He was practically raised by Aristotle and used to hang out with philosophers constantly cause they were the only ones with the balls to talk straight to him.
      In fact it's when he started straying from that open mindedness after the conquest of Persia, and traded in all his philosopher buddies for yes men and sycophants, is when he started going off the rails and acting tyrannical, and it's theorized that Aristotle was the one who poisoned him cause he was getting out of control.

    • @kopiko102277
      @kopiko102277 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      HAVE YOUR 1K LIKES

  • @MrJostur
    @MrJostur 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1147

    "STOP SHITTING EVERYWHERE! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL-"
    "What are you gonna do? Burn my house?"

    • @l_ndonmusic
      @l_ndonmusic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      “My world’s on fire, how bout your’s?”

    • @FlexBeanbag
      @FlexBeanbag 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@l_ndonmusic th-cam.com/video/Bmc9NFfhx74/w-d-xo.html

    • @olbradley
      @olbradley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@FlexBeanbag I've learned from experience not to click on links.

    • @FlexBeanbag
      @FlexBeanbag 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@olbradley well my link is worth clicking

    • @hankrogers8431
      @hankrogers8431 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@FlexBeanbag That's what she said

  • @dirdydan
    @dirdydan ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Jokes still hold up after all this time. Truly the mark of a talented creator. Glad to have you back

  • @randomguy7174
    @randomguy7174 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    another fun anecdote: Diogenes was watching an archery contest once, and one of the archers missed his target completely, so Diogenes sat in front of the target and said "this might as well be the safest place"

  • @boketto9091
    @boketto9091 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19214

    After Diogenes’s plucking a chicken stunt, Plato actually changed his definition of a human to ‘A featherless biped with flat broad nails.’ Which is fucking hilarious.

    • @rigbyshaun5580
      @rigbyshaun5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1907

      He didn’t go with like flightless, but the shape of T O E N A I L S

    • @KittyPants.
      @KittyPants. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +230

      Why the toenails tho?

    • @rigbyshaun5580
      @rigbyshaun5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว +731

      @@KittyPants. don’t you know? Chickens have broad fingernails

    • @KittyPants.
      @KittyPants. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +141

      @@rigbyshaun5580 just got done eating and this is what is come back too

    • @KittyPants.
      @KittyPants. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      @@rigbyshaun5580 the even funnier thing is that I have chickens

  • @Lambda_Ovine
    @Lambda_Ovine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2728

    Diogenes after being kidnapped for slavery: Sell me to that man, he's in need of a master.

    • @Spongebrain97
      @Spongebrain97 3 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      @I'm on crack yeah he apparently didnt mind being a slave because he wasnt used for manual labor but was instead a tutor that could lay around in doors

    • @adams_chong9450
      @adams_chong9450 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Fuckin madlad

    • @Kareltiv
      @Kareltiv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      WOW imagine if pets chose THEIR owners

    • @JohnSmith-ex8iw
      @JohnSmith-ex8iw 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I swear, this man's tongue is a fucking gun. He murders all with his sharp insults.

    • @nabkill0134
      @nabkill0134 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The fact that the man indeed buy him is crazy.

  • @lemonize30
    @lemonize30 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    1:21 "Out with waste" "Out with waste" 💀

  • @The_Biscuit_From_Heaven
    @The_Biscuit_From_Heaven ปีที่แล้ว +80

    - Acts like a raving lunatic
    - Tells one of the most powerful people in the world to move out of the way
    - Dies
    - Doesn’t elaborate
    Sigma grindset 😎

  • @Dalen22_W
    @Dalen22_W 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1212

    He is famous for both giving a shit and not giving a shit

    • @sergei9327
      @sergei9327 6 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      and taking a shit

    • @teli6350
      @teli6350 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      And taking a shit without giving a shit

    • @Bobelponge123
      @Bobelponge123 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      And shitposts

    • @Dalen22_W
      @Dalen22_W 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      do you know de way? Thx

  • @diegovane5827
    @diegovane5827 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2799

    “In a rich man’s house, there is no place to spit but his face”
    -Diogenes

    • @bioemiliano
      @bioemiliano 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      You get it wrong, the thing was that "I couldn't find a dirtiest place in all the mansion"

    • @disbeafakename167
      @disbeafakename167 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Poor folks love to misquote this.

    • @Lambda_Ovine
      @Lambda_Ovine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      The encounter where something like this:
      Rich asshole after inviting Diogenes to his house: Be careful, you filth. Everything you see is worth more than you.
      Diogenes: *Spits on his face.
      Rich asshole: What the fuck?!
      Diogenes: Sorry, but everything here is worth more than you, and I didn't know where else to spit.

    • @otakuterrarian5430
      @otakuterrarian5430 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Lets Refer to Diogenes Hence forth as "proto kinda marx"

    • @joebro2tle257
      @joebro2tle257 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@John-ir4id Fuck you mean then they realise? They're dead they wouldn't be able to realise anything. Also a lot of rich people are famous which means of they die they most likely means their death will be covered on the news and and it will be known across the world. Thousands of people die everyday and I don't see the news covering each and every one. Also way back then rich people were also very powerful and in some way had connections to royalty or a government.

  • @professionaldumbo5609
    @professionaldumbo5609 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    1:42
    Humans in simple terms is: advanced monke

    • @JojiLegend
      @JojiLegend หลายเดือนก่อน

      Problem is... Try to explain what a monkey is to an ancient Greek man.

  • @RegeroTerra
    @RegeroTerra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4825

    There's also the part where he was captured and sold into slavery. Diogenes famously got offended that the guy selling the slaves wasn't representing him well and Diogenes felt he should be worth more. He took the stage and began extolling to the crowd that the most important part of a good slave is the character and wit of the individual. He was purchased by a wealthy Greek family and was kept as a very famous tutor for students. He was regarded as a "lovable menace" about the house until his dying day.

    • @Name-ot3xw
      @Name-ot3xw ปีที่แล้ว +258

      Gotta love a happy ending

    • @creating...6001
      @creating...6001 ปีที่แล้ว +175

      Lovable menace, hahahahah...

    • @SatanicGhostCat
      @SatanicGhostCat ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Good for him

    • @farquaadswife
      @farquaadswife ปีที่แล้ว +201

      why did so many things happen to him😭😭😭😭

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE ปีที่แล้ว +3

      E‎‎‎

  • @ventu7907
    @ventu7907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20425

    Most historians agree that he was the first true living meme

    • @baronvonbeandip
      @baronvonbeandip 4 ปีที่แล้ว +585

      9/10 dentists also agree.

    • @hoolio5659
      @hoolio5659 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      And the

    • @tarrahforcier477
      @tarrahforcier477 4 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      @@baronvonbeandip nah, 10/10

    • @krafter8652
      @krafter8652 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      666th like

    • @kegleg20
      @kegleg20 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      A true mad lad

  • @IGuessIDoThings
    @IGuessIDoThings ปีที่แล้ว +44

    0:16 oh boy that’s funny considering what recently happened

    • @ohhhstinky7609
      @ohhhstinky7609 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      He made graduation he made my beautiful and dark twisted fantasy he made the collage drop out

    • @user-hb4iz8ym2d
      @user-hb4iz8ym2d 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@ohhhstinky7609and?!!

    • @someguyy194_2
      @someguyy194_2 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ⁠@@ohhhstinky7609and late registration

    • @ohhhstinky7609
      @ohhhstinky7609 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@someguyy194_2 and life of Pablo

    • @mrhelitosis7564
      @mrhelitosis7564 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ohhhstinky7609and yeezus

  • @rainbowpopcorns1325
    @rainbowpopcorns1325 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13923

    Someone could say literally anything about Diogenes and I would belive them with no doubt

    • @davidcool5189
      @davidcool5189 3 ปีที่แล้ว +414

      He was subtle in his wisdom.

    • @mortson978
      @mortson978 3 ปีที่แล้ว +405

      He once held an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid, at a party

    • @howdoyoudo5949
      @howdoyoudo5949 3 ปีที่แล้ว +307

      He once had s*x with my wife and I'm not married

    • @themememixers8965
      @themememixers8965 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      I saw this coming yet I’m still surprised

    • @worstusernameintheworld9871
      @worstusernameintheworld9871 3 ปีที่แล้ว +404

      He climbed up a mountain using a hammer while sitting in a pot.
      He then saw a kid climbing the mountain with his bare hands only for Diogenes to realize how materialistic he was for owning the hammer.

  • @allisonwest7079
    @allisonwest7079 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5838

    "He criticized Plato, disputed his interpretation of Socrates, and sabotaged his lectures, sometimes distracting listeners by bringing food and eating during the discussions."
    What a guy

    • @cdemr
      @cdemr ปีที่แล้ว +114

      Sounds like Gregory House

    • @youwerethere
      @youwerethere ปีที่แล้ว +310

      Bro was the back of the class

    • @advin6294
      @advin6294 ปีที่แล้ว

      Some say he defecate and probably masturbate in Plato's lecture.

    • @samiamtheman7379
      @samiamtheman7379 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      What does it say about Socrates when Diogenes existed, yet no one ever made him eat poison berries?

    • @AA-vr8ve
      @AA-vr8ve ปีที่แล้ว +9

      This is just that one kid in every college lecture ever

  • @nathanapplegate5374
    @nathanapplegate5374 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Diogenes once saw an archer hopelessly trying to hit a target. Diogenes then sat in front of the target, and said it was the safest place to be

  • @carrierogers874
    @carrierogers874 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    An oldy and a goody. This video brings me so much joy. Hope you're doing well in the world, Sam.

  • @darrelstinkmeaner4673
    @darrelstinkmeaner4673 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1291

    "When I'm dead just throw me in the trash"
    -Diogenes, probably

    • @horacegentleman3296
      @horacegentleman3296 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Diogenes was definitely fringe class.

    • @innosanto
      @innosanto 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Diogenes actually said : Through my body outside the walls. And this is the start of an anecdotal conversation ( they told him: the dogs will start biting you. Wouldn't that bother you? Diogenes:.Then give me a bone to get up and scare them away. Others: And how will you do that if you're dead? Diogenes: Then why would I be bothered? ) There are actually many good ones with Diogenes. Diogenes if I remember correctly generally idolized the dogs ( and cynic comes from greek word for dog)

  • @Cauks1
    @Cauks1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1694

    “If I were not Alexander, I would like to be Diogenes” Alexander the Great

    • @theawesomeboy8888
      @theawesomeboy8888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +331

      "If I were not Diogenes, I would like to be Diogenes" Diogenes the Cynic to Alexander

    • @jooot_6850
      @jooot_6850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      @@theawesomeboy8888 Diogenes the Greater

    • @georgy2596
      @georgy2596 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      “Sam “O’nella” the greatest

    • @MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard
      @MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jooot_6850 Diogenes the cheese grater*

    • @zejdland
      @zejdland 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/pGZZbl-4cIQ/w-d-xo.html i am alexander

  • @THEEPICINDIEGAMER
    @THEEPICINDIEGAMER 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    0:18 Rip

    • @oshwaflz
      @oshwaflz 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      beat me to it lol

  • @jacobdeal7739
    @jacobdeal7739 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    It’s currently 2:23 am on may 29, 2024 and I’m absolutely wasted. This didn’t disappoint

  • @soribannon441
    @soribannon441 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11130

    My favorite Diogenes quote: In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face, dude hated the one percent before there was a one percent

    • @soribannon441
      @soribannon441 3 ปีที่แล้ว +223

      @patrick howard That's why I'm not communist, I'm a democratic socialist.

    • @abbyfisher8079
      @abbyfisher8079 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Christobanistan you act as though liblefts don't exist

    • @abbyfisher8079
      @abbyfisher8079 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @beebly revolutionary catalonia

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 3 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      diogenese, probably: fuck zeus. *throws his own poop at zeus*

    • @alverdeo965
      @alverdeo965 3 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      "Cool it with the anti semitic remarks"

  • @MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard
    @MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3373

    I think it's just hilarious how there are two ways of seeing Diogenes
    1- A very wise poor man who constantly shared hos wisdom
    2- Greek's local shitposter

    • @Demonicidiot
      @Demonicidiot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +125

      I see it as both of those

    • @questionmarkquestionmarkques
      @questionmarkquestionmarkques 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      literal shitposter

    • @AkiraSugo.mp3
      @AkiraSugo.mp3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +175

      He was a real gamer. Never took a shower and hated society

    • @Himax9
      @Himax9 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Same thing.

    • @kuratse205
      @kuratse205 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      3- A badass that had unwavering beliefs about the world, and exhibited those beliefs in the most ridiculous and funny ways.

  • @BenDover-yn3el
    @BenDover-yn3el ปีที่แล้ว +24

    The Kanye west one did not age well 💀

    • @zchsk57779
      @zchsk57779 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      *Did age well
      (this is a joke)

  • @anthonybenjamin6343
    @anthonybenjamin6343 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Bro your humor was way ahead of its time 😂😂😂

  • @stardragon7893
    @stardragon7893 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2199

    Diogenes was one of the first madlads. I feel like the only reason he wasn't kicked out is because everyone was both disgusted and impressed.

    • @labrynianrebel
      @labrynianrebel ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He was exiled from his home town

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ‎E‎

    • @yeffaros8419
      @yeffaros8419 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ​@@labrynianrebel and he made it everyone else's problem

    • @dimsum3329
      @dimsum3329 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@yeffaros8419 when he got banished, and he said "and I force you all to stay here"

  • @sicksalt7765
    @sicksalt7765 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7598

    Plato: The definition of human is “featherless biped”
    Diogenes : I’m about to do what’s called a pro-gamer move

    • @panzerfich
      @panzerfich 4 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      *pro-philosopher move

    • @Balweh1
      @Balweh1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

      I'm about to destroy this man's career.*

    • @etho7351
      @etho7351 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I'm about to end this mans whole career

    • @tommyzoom9976
      @tommyzoom9976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      The original troll

    • @etho7351
      @etho7351 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@tommyzoom9976 except he wasn't a toxic troll he was Somehow noble.

  • @mpeters0312
    @mpeters0312 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Idk about anyone else, but I still watch this mans videos on repeat. It’s a problem that I don’t think I’ll ever stop lol.

  • @yuliakalashnikova6161
    @yuliakalashnikova6161 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    his causes of death do not seem mutually exclusive. He stopped breathing after he got bitten and ate an octopus as his last meal

  • @korbencrosby8968
    @korbencrosby8968 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1605

    Plato: creates theory of knowlege
    -it gets debunked by another philosopher
    Plato: defines a human
    -it gets debunked by homeless man
    hhhhhmmmm...

    • @RandemFellow
      @RandemFellow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Plato was wrong about a lot of things.

    • @randoprior4130
      @randoprior4130 5 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      @@RandemFellow| but he did get people to think. His ideas could be way off base, but he died leaving us questions nobody had ever even thought to consider. Philosophy isn't about being right; that would be science. Philosophy is about looking at the world from such a perverted fantastical point of view that it looks different. It is like trying to define a question that is so ambiguous that it has no solution. But in seeking the solution, it moulds our thoughts and changes how we examine the world around us. In this sense, he was still a great philosopher, and deserves the respect his memory has.

    • @bernardocoto8519
      @bernardocoto8519 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@randoprior4130 Plato has become famous through our times because his writings managed to survive through war, fire and other calamities. Unfortunately, there are dozens of philosophers we know nothing about and never will because their work failed to survive, not because of lack of quality, but by sheer luck. Diogenes left some writings but his own disciples thought the themes were too disturbing and destroyed them. He's supposed to have written a text about canibbalism and poverty and, if we use our imagination a bit, well, let's just say Jonathan swift touched the same topics and ended up with an essay were he defends that in order to end hunger and poverty, we should eat the poor. Just imagine what Diogenes would have done with such a topic...

    • @kingbreloom2630
      @kingbreloom2630 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@randoprior4130 not true. Chinese philosophers far back already found these theories but didn't attribute names to them and called them 'common sense'

    • @jackalope2302
      @jackalope2302 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Why not. We can learn from the mistakes of what was once considered to be a wise man. An marvel when he actually gets something right.
      Plus, when you're the first superstar of your field, you will be remembered, mistakes and triumphs. Just ask the Beatles. Or Freud.

  • @Gigas0101
    @Gigas0101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1728

    You missed a bit of sass worth going over where people were horrified about how he wanted to get thrown outside the city and said "Dude, the animals will eat your body" So Diogenes said "Okay, give me a stick so I can beat up the animals when they try to eat me" And the people said "Wait, how are you going to use a stick? You'll be dead." And Diogenes replied "Yeah, I won't have much use for a stick, huh... Or a body, idiots."
    I'm paraphrasing a bit but it's another example of just how awesome he was.

    • @erikkooy2804
      @erikkooy2804 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      My Latin exam in high school was about this story. It was amazing

    • @lucaskrsrensen4587
      @lucaskrsrensen4587 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      He was so ahead of his time

    • @ryanhernandez1877
      @ryanhernandez1877 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      This mans

    • @franktheprank7336
      @franktheprank7336 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      Also lets not forget that after Diogenes did his featherless biped stunt, Plato change his description of a man to "a featherless biped with broad flat nails". This means that Plato, upon seeing Diogenes throw a featherless(an probably dead)chicken in the middle of his lecture, basically said "I mean...he has a point".

  • @Suusleepy
    @Suusleepy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    "Thereby giving back to the earth what little he took from it" is a Raw Nasty line and its mine now

  • @Moshplosh
    @Moshplosh ปีที่แล้ว +41

    The Kanye joke aged like fine wine

  • @svord00
    @svord00 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3471

    He came to Plato with a chicken and yelled "BEHOLD! A MAN!". far better than what he reenacted.
    Plato also said to Diogenese: "This is a cup, there are many cups in the world, there is only one idea of a cup and this cupness precedes the existence of all particular cups".
    "I can see the cup on the table" said Diogenes, "but I can't see the cupness".
    "That's because you have the eyes to see the cup," said Plato, "but", tapping his head with his forefingers, " you don't have the intellect with which to comprehend cupness"
    Diogenes walked up to the table, examined a cup and looking inside, asked," Is it empty?"
    Plato nodded.
    "Where is the emptiness which precedes this empty cup?" asked Diogenes.
    Plato allowed himself a few moments to collect his thoughts, but Diogenese reached over and tapping Plato's head with his finger said: "I think you will fin here is the emptiness".

    • @ninjabluefyre3815
      @ninjabluefyre3815 5 ปีที่แล้ว +172

      Reminds me of Mercutio.

    • @metehan5744
      @metehan5744 5 ปีที่แล้ว +762

      Diogenes didnt need fire to cook his food, he roasted other philosophers daily

    • @zorkwithawhy7455
      @zorkwithawhy7455 5 ปีที่แล้ว +284

      THAT THE SICKEST FUCKING BURN I HEARD

    • @ryanhernandez1877
      @ryanhernandez1877 5 ปีที่แล้ว +239

      It's a wonder this lad wasn't killed. He's amazing.

    • @GumSkyloard
      @GumSkyloard 5 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      He was a god among men, holy Diogenes.

  • @bigjim9956
    @bigjim9956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7335

    No obese women of color in smash?
    Wrong.
    Wario exists.

    • @thedkboyz
      @thedkboyz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +320

      THANKS NOW I GOT COFFE ON MY SCREEN AND SNOT ALL OVER MY FACE

    • @bigjim9956
      @bigjim9956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      apologies, my dude.

    • @fivefivetensmysenpai9550
      @fivefivetensmysenpai9550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@bigjim9956 you seen morgana?

    • @fivefivetensmysenpai9550
      @fivefivetensmysenpai9550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@bigjim9956 that was also a joke If you havent played persona 5 then you wouldnt get it

    • @bigjim9956
      @bigjim9956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I haven’t.

  • @hannielelysium292
    @hannielelysium292 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    The first video i ever watched from sam o'nella..... and it didn't disappoint

  • @koranda2161
    @koranda2161 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    0:17 well this aged poorly

  • @portalowy5346
    @portalowy5346 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1438

    Yes, my student?
    :YEAH UH, WHAT THE FUCK"
    perfect scene.

    • @scottl875
      @scottl875 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Portalowy me in chemistry

    • @bvssl
      @bvssl 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      EPIC

    • @norgepalm7315
      @norgepalm7315 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      AlSamaani Bassel. LE EPIC amiright xD?!?!!?!!1!1

  • @mr.anderson2241
    @mr.anderson2241 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2121

    "YEAH UH, WHAT THE FUCK?"

    • @KonEl-BlackZero
      @KonEl-BlackZero 6 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Thats me in every Salmonella video.

    • @jondunlap1892
      @jondunlap1892 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      i don't think that sentence existed yet, he was speaking english

    • @Quandaledillywingle
      @Quandaledillywingle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Mr. Anderson - professional catholic monster hunter 😂😂

    • @rorybrennan5562
      @rorybrennan5562 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mr. Anderson - professional catholic monster hunter ii

  • @blackasthesky
    @blackasthesky 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    89 years in ancient Greece is a fucking lot.

  • @Blind_Hawk
    @Blind_Hawk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    2:11 I get Rick and Morty vibes.

  • @Gilgax127
    @Gilgax127 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1624

    Diogenes did not give a shit
    He gave out many in public for what i understood.

    • @mstr293
      @mstr293 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Andrew Francisco You didn't see the "Read more option", did you?

    • @andrewfrancisco7325
      @andrewfrancisco7325 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      No it wasn't working on my phone, which is where wrote that.

    • @rebelbeammasterx8472
      @rebelbeammasterx8472 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Diogenes didn't give a shit, but he gave a lot of shits on the ground.

    • @qwaysqaywsx
      @qwaysqaywsx 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      So Diogenes is the ancient Rick Sanchez ?

    • @reikasol
      @reikasol 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gilgax I

  • @clubstepstudios3912
    @clubstepstudios3912 3 ปีที่แล้ว +696

    Next thing you know Diogenes is in a cauldron using a hammer to climb a mountain.

    • @alexandersmidt5289
      @alexandersmidt5289 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Still annoying the crap out of everybody, even after multiple millenia.

    • @IAdmitMyCrime
      @IAdmitMyCrime 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      nice reference

    • @worldprops333
      @worldprops333 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      CLUBSTEP MONSTER

  • @iamapinkshark8103
    @iamapinkshark8103 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    As a person who has to take literal lessons at school about Plato, I deeply appreciate the accuracy in his speech before he got interrupted by Dionedes, about that whole "you have all the knowledge inside you -like literally, everything, all knowledge ever- but when your soul came to inhabit your body it forgot everything and now you need a someone to remind you all of it.
    My teacher says he might have been schizophrenic, considering the definition psychologist have given it today.... Guy was seeing things and believed in a world way up in the cloud that was "the real world" and that our world and what we lived was just a reflection of that other world..... I guess calling humans featherless chickens was the closest thing to a normal he had ever said....

  • @TheAhmadShow717
    @TheAhmadShow717 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great and brilliant video ❤️🙏🏻

  • @austin0girl
    @austin0girl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1814

    Diogenes really just said: “hey this whole life thing is boring peace”

    • @themostbritishpersonalive868
      @themostbritishpersonalive868 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      He saw a ghost and decided his physical form was useless

    • @Real_Tower_Pizza
      @Real_Tower_Pizza 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@themostbritishpersonalive868 Lol he probobly just held his breath untill he died of lack of oxygen or som shit

  • @Ari-nw3qy
    @Ari-nw3qy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9195

    Fun fact: Diogenes often liked representing himself as a dog, making him the world's first furry.

    • @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei
      @Kuhmuhnistische_Partei 3 ปีที่แล้ว +548

      Yeah, "Cynicism" derived from κυνικός (kynikos) 'dog-like' or κύων (kyôn) 'dog'.

    • @demdem7946
      @demdem7946 3 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      no

    • @tesial
      @tesial 3 ปีที่แล้ว +294

      Please delete this.

    • @NerdStuffing
      @NerdStuffing 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Thank you very cool

    • @oscarbelmare_22
      @oscarbelmare_22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +371

      So the first memer was also a furry.............. thats something

  • @bandhanmondal4685
    @bandhanmondal4685 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is type of channel I watch all the videos the day I discover it on TH-cam ❤

  • @jesselewis4975
    @jesselewis4975 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love how you are very clearly making a show for a mature audience yet still say “ Hey Kids”

  • @RidleyUwO
    @RidleyUwO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1202

    This man clowned on society so fucking hard that we are still talking about it thousands of years later.

  • @Zeruel3
    @Zeruel3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +386

    "Oh god dammit not you again"
    I get the feeling Plato said that a lot whenever Diogenes was around

    • @hobo_joe7480
      @hobo_joe7480 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It would have been against his principles as the basis of philosophy is argument

  • @FierceLord
    @FierceLord 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Diogenes was such a chad.

  • @ALulzyApprentice
    @ALulzyApprentice ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1:49 - You floored me with the "or nothing"

  • @thelaughingman3443
    @thelaughingman3443 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2268

    and he turned himself into a fatherless biped. Funniest shit I've ever seen

  • @strangepoyo1201
    @strangepoyo1201 4 ปีที่แล้ว +337

    "Pee is stored in balls"
    -Diogenes

    • @danielcastillo591
      @danielcastillo591 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      *"They hated Jesus, because he told them the truth"*

    • @dosne975
      @dosne975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      *DONT BELIEVE THE LIES SPOON-FED BY THE MEDIA*

    • @the_rover1
      @the_rover1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      no, parts of cum is stored in balls.

    • @danielcastillo591
      @danielcastillo591 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@the_rover1 Yeah, and pee

    • @the_rover1
      @the_rover1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@danielcastillo591 no joking now?

  • @hamburger2967
    @hamburger2967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Diogenes is truly the most based sigma male in existance

  • @superfupahecc
    @superfupahecc ปีที่แล้ว +7

    the first man to discover shitposting