@@LLMC968Then talk to a counselor, or consider a divorce. What can the other person give, that’ll help solve the problem. In a matter of no time, you’ll be having an issue with them also🤷🏽♀️
Dear Lady: my mother waited 36 years for her boyfriend to leave his wife. He never did. The wife passed away. And then my mother moved in and passed away 2 years later. She wasted her life. She gave up her marriage her children her finances. And all she got was to be the official women for 2 years. That is the future u are facing. Enjoy.
She is annoying me as she keeps saying , correct and yes . She also stated that she did not ruin the marriage and that the wife had infidelities . She does not know that , only that he said it .
And what has a lot of the true crime proved? That the cheater is the liar and lies about their side of the situation, even to get another to the do their bidding, as far as murder no less... So yes, she is RIDICULOUSLY foolish. It is so hard to even listen to her unwillingness to see truth...
Exactly!! all she knows is what he tells her. It makes me mad because of all of the excuse she is making for the DESCIONS! she has made to hurt another person. Both of them are terrible people, how can you lay down with a person who is in a committed relationship. It makes me SICK!
I once got hounded by a bunch of people in a singles Facebook group because I said I refused to date someone who is even separated. Get divorced and then we’ll talk. They said that I could potentially be missing out on a great person. Well, they’re not that great if they can’t end one thing before starting another.
A separated person is still married. You are 100% correct never to date a married person. They have plenty of stuff they need to work out and if needs to be done without being new people into it.
How to get out of a relationship, especially with someone already in one: Say goodbye, close the door, block the number, stay busy, connect with old friends, start a hobby. Move on. Let them go
That can work for either party, either the one who initiated, or the one who was drawn into it The door swings both ways, so if one initiates it, then the other should do likewise and agree It's better to part on good terms rather than bad ones It's better to part in peace rather than during or after a fight I'd say don't leave the person in the dark if you're secretly thinking on parting ways DON'T leave them to figure it out Leaving them in the dark to figure it out is kind of like wasting their time when you SECRETLY KNOW you're done and they haven't yet figured that out It's kind of like WASTING THEIR time and causing THEM to put THEIR life ON HOLD THINKING you're coming back, and NOT KNOWING for WEEKS or MONTHS that you're SECRETLY NOT This is ESPECIALLY true if there were no warning signs it was coming, and you leave the OTHER party CLUELESS Explain that you are so that you don't cause them to waste precious time putting their own life on hold thinking you're coming back when secretly you're not, it's called the right to know Do the right thing and tell them Without anything distracting, no sounds, music, noisy settings whatsoever You want a calm quiet peaceful environment so that you can have that private conversation That kiss goodbye with NO WARNING WON'T cut it, you HAVE to TELL them! If you cut them off secretly Without actually explaining that you're ending the relationship, Secretly wasting their time because again, you shouldn't do them wrong by causing them to put Weeks or months of their lives on hold thanking you're coming back Don't leave them in the dark to figure it out, SHAME ON YOU if you DO
@@chocolatewolfewhat's good for the goose is good for the gander Remember, it takes two to tango One can initiate, and the other can accept it and go along for the ride, but either one or both parties must agree to separate If someone says goodbye, then don't just ghost them because that's when you cause the other party to put their life on hold for you while they're in the dark trying to figure it out and THEY DON'T KNOW you're NOT coming back Your best to explain it to them in short conversation Explaining it to them gives them fair notice that you're moving on So they don't put their lives on hold while waiting around for you and wasting weeks if not months or WORSE yet YEARS and ultimately WORSE yet, DECADES Depending on the situation and if it's a long distance relationship, how busy you are And the situation of the other party Comma they could end up waiting UNREASONABLY long because they haven't yet realized that you're really NOT coming back Do you remember the dog named Hachi? Everyone but him knew his owner wasn't coming back because he died, so Hachi DIED WAITING Don't put a human being through that, because SOME people REALLY WILL DIE WAITING In fact I knew of someone who Waited for a very long time for her son to come home from the Army.... This lady Left her Christmas tree up, and his gifts under the tree.... None of us knew that he secretly DIDN'T join the Army, I happened to have found out a good number of years LATER because he admitted it LONG AFTER his mom DIED I don't know if she ever found out her son secretly NEVER joined the army, so he's secretly a "PX Hero" What I found out though Is that This man's mom was secretly abusing others in her care, particularly the Down Syndromes who were eventually removed from her home and rehomed I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she secretly abused her kids during their childhoods, and faked being in the Army just to avoid HER I THINK it's POSSIBLE that he took protective actions NECESSARY to PROTECT his son from HER
A friend of mine was "the other woman". Not only did he not divorce his wife, he got her pregnant. That's when my friend finally saw the writing on the wall. She was heartbroken but it helped her to move on. Personally, I've been the child in this kind of situation. My dad cheated (repeatedly) on my mother and I'm still dealing with the emotional consequences of it at the age of 45. For years, I didn't believe myself worthy of being loved. It took years of marriage to a faithful man to believe that this man truly loves me and he isn't going anywhere.
Right?! Kids know. PLUS if he left his wife for her, which she seemed to have been hoping for, that would totally ruin the family and she would be ok with that?? How could anyone willingly participate in such a choice and still claim innocence. I cant stand hearing about this and her claiming to think its all on him.
@@Meems-p7o, it’s important to not deflect and blame the innocent party..i.e, the wife. This is called sidechick/sidedude logic, because, calling the victim “pathetic” shows a lack of empathy and delusion. Until you’ve‘walked a mile in her/his shoe,’ you have not a clue.😳
@@Meems-p7o Actually it’s not. At least not on the wife’s side. I commend her for honoring her share of the marriage by not leaving til death do them apart.
Dude, this chick is ridiculous. I will always remember my old coworker. Dated a married men for 15 years. He never left the family, she never got the kids she wanted and then she died alone of cancer. Girl run and clean up yourself and the mess you are creating, or karma will strike hard and bad!!
Same, old coworker were messing around with this married man for 12 years. When he finally left his wife, they moved in together. He ended up going back to his family and she ended up moving in with her sister. Such a mess.
This woman is JUST as bad as the cheating husband. No accountability. No empathy for the absolute damage she particupated in. Shes not a good person. Relationships that start as infidelity have a 98% failiure rate for a reason. Two very broken people not willing to change dont make good longnterm partners.
Reminds me of my sister in law. She's been having an affair with a married man for the past 3 years. She even had a baby with him, which he didn't want but she still kept the baby. That beautiful boy is the only good thing that came out of this sordid mess. She calls him her "boyfriend" and I just can't stand it. He does not love her, and she's delusional that he does. I walk out of the room whenever she talks about him, or the "horrible" wife he has.
@@romancewriter6296 my sister is the other woman too with a child. He’s “leaving” his wife and is trying to be a family with her now but who actually knows. I had the same thought, “you don’t know this guy.”
@@mimimonster Yep. He needs "support", his wife doesn't "understand". She can't help that she's in love. Stuff like that. The worst is that her own mother suffered for all her marriage from a cheating husband, which she never left. I can't even look at her now. I know it's a tad petty, but it's the whole dishonesty of it that I can't stand. She's deliberately hurting this other woman who did nothing to her.
It does happen. I have had married men asked me out (I am married), meaning that it happens, but I don't know why men don't report themselves here or anywhere!
@@omoleyeesan-ojuri8807they don’t catch the feelings that the women side pieces do. The men are content with the current setup because it requires low commitment & just fun & games and they don’t feel the remorse until something terrible happens.
The person I married turned out to be someone else's soul mate. We married and a few months later he met her and fell in love with her. He chose her. It happens.
My ex cheated on my with my best friend after three and a half years, while I was pregnant with his son. Then less than a year in she cheated with her ex, three years in she cheated on him with his best friend. Karma comes back swinging.
The second caller, who just recently left her husband. I’ve never heard someone with such a similar story as I lived, mine went on much longer but what a blessing to have someone like John say ‘he doesn’t want to be married to you’. I wonder what life would’ve looked like if I’d heard that sooner.
i do not like how he only hears one side of the story and just assumes the caller is telling the truth. she could be totally lying and telling this story though a filter that suits her needs to be
I laughed at that too! He might as well of said, just hang on for a year until I get my wife to calm down and trust me again, and then I’ll give you a call…. WTH
14:12 “I would’ve never done this, looking back.” Only saying this because it didn’t work out the way you thought. If he left his wife, there would be no regrets…
@@klickingkayasmr7585 Sorry, I don’t see the connection. He told his affair partner he wanted a year to figure out his marriage, which is a ridiculous and laughable statement in any context.
@klickingkayasmr7585 YES!!! You meant to break his marriage and now you are the loser then you wouldn't have done it.... to phone in and play victim to something you caused??? Come on!
Even if I had a crush on a married man, I would lose all attraction to him once it became apparent he was willing to cheat on and lie to his wife. Knowing a man is a scumbag like that would destroy my attraction to him.
In college there was a married man took me out. I didn’t know he was married at first. He didn’t act married - AT ALL! But on our date he forgot to remove his ring (that he wasn’t wearing when we met). I asked about it wondering if he was a widower or something. Nope. He was married. Ew!!! Gross!!!! 🤮 🤢 As an early grown up, I had my 1st high stakes job. Executive level… there was a guy from a company we partnered with I had to learn from and work closely with on our biggest project yet. After the 1st time we met for a long strategy meeting with the coordinator I asked a mutual friend if that guy had a single brother or anything. I mean this man could… wear a wool sweater like it was pashmina or chenille, ok? Warmest brown eyes I’d ever seen. Compassionate, caring, helpful, extremely generous - and not for me just for the people the project was helping. I mean. Dude was a big time international lawyer. Often met presidents - of countries. Coulda been arrogant, snobbish, or patronizing. Nope. Most humble person in any room. Quiet humor. Oh my gahwd did I fall hard. Never told him though. On the project implementation week, after some significant challenges to its production, he… didn’t have to admit his feelings for me. But he did. He told me he loved me. But I already knew. He could tell I was struggling. The first thought in my mind was “You tell her that too? What could that mean to you?” I wanted to slap him. But if I touched him, we’d be “off to the races” as Deloney says. He didn’t cheat. The temptation was so heavy. It hurt. It hurt not to embrace him. He felt it. That’s why he loved me. So, I said, “We can’t do this. This is against God”, even though I was staunchly Agnostic. It just came out like that: “This is against God” is all I could say, and I left the room and called one of my best friend’s and cried, wishing someone like that could be mine. And he was right there alone in his hotel room not 3 doors down and across the hall from mine. Few weeks later, was back in my country. We didn’t cheat on his wife or family. We’d kept respectful professional distance. Whooo boy was that nerve wracking… He called once to tell me he loved me again. I said, “I know.” If I had voiced the truth that the feelings were mutual, our futures would have changed. I couldn’t handle that right then. I was vulnerable enough as it was. Couple years later I met my now husband and started a family. Karma got me for even toying with those ideas back then when my hubby showed a special likeness for young, single, childless coworkers. And one of them was sending pics of her cleavage and navel to his phone, at least. Serves me right.
I agree and I think it’s because you most likely have values, morals, and standards. However, she has been with him for 6 years and started her conversation out with “unfortunately”! She knows it’s not right and she chose to continue with it despite knowing she was engaging with a man that’s causing damage to the wife.
I dated a separated man for 2 years. I broke it off because he wasn’t moving forward with a divorce and he hadn’t introduced his kids to me. I was there for his entertainment. He didn’t care about me. Thank god I ended it.
Never, ever believe anything a married man says to you about his wife to sleep with you. You have no clue how low a cheater will go. The limbo bar is literally in hell when it comes to cheaters. He is never leaving. He doesn't care about his marriage, any marriage, or anything to do with marriage. He doesn't care about his own kids or the woman he has claimed to love. He is lying to you about everything and he knows that he can have whatever he wants from you. Stop accepting scraps. You are worth more than this.
@@Applauseifyexactly! They also forgot to mention he doesn't care about you either. The person he's cheating with is nothing more than a minor distraction for him.
I've never heard anyone say "absolutely" so much and yet have no clue as much as this woman. She seems like she has zero clue or remorse about what she's done.
That's how that married man got her. She's very agreeable. When the Dr called her smart and compared her to a lawyer she was flattered. When he said he wasn't judging her they were friends sharing nachos she let her guard down. Then the Dr told her she has no dignity and other things to get her to end the affair. This Dr got her in half an hour. The truth is every time she sees that married man he manipulates her the same way. Can you imagine how deep he's gotten his hooks in 6 years. The poor woman doesn't want to be free
My Dad always told me "don't even have a coffee with anyone you shouldn't be involved with". Being on the receiving end of infidelity, I learned to see my myself in the highest regard and never even talk to anyone involved meaning gf, wife or live in.
Im so sorry this happened to you. I just want to say now with many years of experience if your partner lies to you he is definitly lying to the mistress. Thats apex predator playing with 2 peoples feelings. Im not saying there are horrible women but in 99% he fed both woman with so many lied depending were they are weak. Also good job dumping him too many woman know very well about affair but chose to stay and play victom
@@matinaki1644both are equally guilty… but you already knew that and you’re just trying to shift some of the blame that was rightfully placed on her. She’s the one who called in; therefore she is the one rightfully addressed.
@@msprettypinkpanther6142 it depends. In this case she doesn't sound like "Oh I did something really stupid because I was in a really bad place and he showed interest towards me". She is more like that his wife is in the way, so yeah, she is trash. But he is equally or even more trash if he does not repent either (for the act itself, not the possible repercussions and drama).
I have zero heart for women like this (and men like this). As a wife who's been cheated on, both man and woman involved in an affair have no idea what destruction they have caused to the family. The trust is forever destroyed, the family future envisioned is destroyed, the childrens' right to have their mom and dad under the same roof is destroyed, financial stability destroyed, and this doesn't even include the emotional damage to the wife/spouse and kids, which can last a lifetime. I don't care if the marriage is on the rocks, once the infidelity lined is crossed, nothing is the same.
Agree. Why are women so mean to other women. Why do they hit on, flirt with and sleep with another women's husband. We need to be better to each other.
it might be on some level in his "warped mind" if you will..which is why he justifies the affair....as i'm sure he has told the mistress lots of excuses as to why he hasn't left...
She was just spiting all that out there trying to make herself feel like less of a homewrecker. Crazy how she was blaming them both for her bad choices.
Exactly. The right person won't be married to someone else. Ever. For multiple reasons but the main reason is bc ppl that have traits like this (cheaters) don't go away when they get with you. It's a character issue.
@@JudePi-jx7yo cheating is not a flaw. It is an active choice that destroys the whole foundation of a relationship and defeats the purpose of entering into one.
Nailed it! 👍🏻🎯🎯 She clearly wanted him to give her a pass in her delusion! The hoops she is jumping to make herself feel that this relationship is ok shows how desperate she is to 'justify' what she's doing.. she KNOWS it's wrong deep down, but she don't want to let go, and most likely won't end it..
I used to date a married man. As soon as he got his divorce he started to question his sexuality and have sex with just about any person he could. I thought when he got divorced we would be together. It was a huge wake up call. I had constructed an image of who I wanted him to be in my mind, but I wasn't paying attention to who was standing right in front of me.
Respect yourself! Rediculous! Your so much better. You are enough! Walk away and never look back. Your being used. Walk away! End it! Your so much better. Never look back. Life is too short! Live your best life! Embrace being on your own! Respect yourself!
@@MsLivinghealthy agree. Waste of your valuable time. They just want to have their cake and eat it too anyways. Aka take advantage of any willing party. It’s a sad existence & you just have to leave people like that where they are at!
Sorry, Michelle, but if you are not happy to proclaim to your daughter, "I'm dating a married man!" then you know you're doing something wrong. To another woman, to another family. Wrong.
I would not advise her to think of his wife and kids; I would advise her to think of HERSELF! THE CHANCES OF HIM LEAVING HIS WIFE FOR HER ARE like 3%. And even most of those marriages fail. Do not date married men.
My uncle left his wife and my four cousins for the woman he was having an affair with. They have been together for more than 30 years. I would not say it “worked out” though. They may still be married, but I know that they do not trust each other. They try to hide their insecurities from the family, but we hear things from others. He gave up an honest, caring, strong, beautiful wife for a relationship where he can dominate his new wife. His first wife knew who she was. His new wife is a fish that he can dominate. He is a huge misogynist. My aunt married a much better man who appreciates her and loves her for her.
Well I want to think that even if he wanted to leave her he kinda has to look back and think he has to make it worth it for all the pain he created in you all. I’m sorry this happened but I’m glad your mom found better. ❤
I once had a married man try to start a relationship ( or maybe a one night stand) with me. He tried telling me how bad his wife was; she didn't understand him, etc. I told him I had sympathy, there are crazy women in the world, but having an affair would not help him. I suggested reaching out to a psychologist or marriage therapist. He nover spoke to me again.
The story of my life on numerous occasions. Always tell the guy that I could care less about his marital problems and complaints about the wife. That bs isn't my bs to solve. 😂😂😂 I have no respect for men/women who clearly don't respect marriage, family, or the kids and assume that fake self-pity, childhood traumas and entitlement give them a pass to cheat. Grow up and seek therapy.
100%! This man and woman I used to work with had an affair on their spouses while the man's wife was pregnant. They ended up together and guess who is now cheating on the mistress? And they are just shocked! Not anyone else.
I’ve know women like the first caller. She feels she has high value because the man is ready to risk it all to see her, when the reality is the man values her so little that he won’t risk changing his life to be with her. It’s crazy how a desperate, low self-esteem woman can be easily tricked.
Married men ALWAYS sleep in a separate room and haven't had sex with the wife in years. The wife is always a horrible and toxic person. They have to stay for the children, the wife is mentally unstable and needs him to keep her stable......the list goes on and on
My mother was in the same situation. For 15 years. On and off. Broken promises after broken promises, she still hoped. He never left. Just don't start a relationship with a married man, he will never leave his spouse.
My ex married his mistress after I kicked him out for the last time. I KNOW he is still cheating but now on her. And I laugh thinking about it. She deserves him.
My late father married his mistress, after we kids demanded that our mom divorce him. My father did cheat on mistress/wife #2, with men! Gay accounts and everything. 😂
Since I have been “that wife” here are my thoughts. How is it that women do this to other women & their children? Selfish, no integrity! Married 25 years I thought he was having a breakdown, or depressed, abusing alcohol, I was putting up with constant criticism. At year 30 I discovered it was oldest thing in the book with a married coworker for over 5 years. Despite his denial I sued for divorce on grounds of adultery naming her so he had no choice. Somehow I found that courage at 50 after I saw how that was affecting my daughters. Long story short they ended up together he then died leaving everything to her, she remarried within the year! I am now 75, happily single & waking up every morning feeling 19.
I was 38 years in when my husband took a brainstorm and thought he was madly in love with a woman who looked at him when we were on holiday and we were only in her company for 3 hours in the whole fortnight. Our marriage was over at that point. There was no physical contact between them but he felt sure she felt the same.... she didn't. I think it was a mid life crisis. The most strange experience ever as he became someone I didn't even recognise.
That's a beautiful story of getting rid of the 'garbage' in your life.. and moving on! Sadly, my sister has been in this relationship with a drinking, verbally, mentally and psychologically abusive husband (constant criticism and repeated affairs) for 22+ years.. and stays! 😓 ..and you are right! The toll it has taken on her daughters.. neither are married, and l know for sure one is single by choice and never planning to marry because of her father..
SHE has no commitment to you. What she did is wrong. Your assessment of her is correct. However, SHE owed you nothing. He took an oath before god, government and friends to love you. She made you no promises. She may not have been the only one. Moral of my tirade? Set high standards when picking a partner. Be vigilante for red flags. Pay attention to little white lies. This goes for the men too! They get cheated on also.
My heart breaks for Madison. It’s so crushing. That was me at year five. His behavior remained the same. 20 neglectful years later, I had to be the one to leave. Be brave Madison. Dr John is preaching truth. I wish I had heard him 30 years ago. Start putting money away and let your light shine. You deserve to be free.
She's not going to leave. She was hoping she'd be the exception to all the other calls about infidelity. He shot that down and she just told him what he wanted hear to get done with the call.
That's the feeling I got too. Once she realized her rationalizations would just get called out, she stopped voicing him and acted like she's going along with what John is saying, but none of it felt genuine to me. More likely, as soon as she got off the phone, she was probably calling the married dude to tell him how crazy this internet guy was and to make imaginary plans of how they can "salvage" their relationship together.
Seems like she hopes to be the exception in all situations even this cheating one. She’s looking for a savior. Maybe look into a higher power then? Us humans can’t do shii 😂
My ex had a mistress and they evidently are living happily ever after now. I’m so happy he has someone to take care of him bc he’s had many joint replacement surgeries. I’m even happier it isn’t me.
It’s sad a lot of mistresses don’t understand the man has no interest in leaving his wife. Love is the wrong word but the wife is the one he “loves”. The mistress is just his escapism from the pressures of his normal life. He doesn’t care about what’s best for her (or his wife really) but just how these women can serve him.
What a terrible woman. Just the fact that the first time she “reaches out for help” resolving her decision to cheat for 6 years is in this public format, tells me she’s not going to do anything except what she’s been doing.
To be fair, we do fall for wrong people. That one is true. We just don't follow up on that - that's the difference. Decent, moral person in a committed relationship doesn't follow the newly caught feeling, they stay committed to what they have.
Wow.. well I was the married woman who put up my husband messing with the neighbor girl. Couldn’t stop him or stop her. Acted like fools. I kept my mouth shut, enjoyed out three children. Helped them become somebody. They motorcycled places , I stayed with the kids. I even confronted her and told her she really needed to find her own boyfriend. As for him , stupid can’t see the problem. Kids grew up , got a divorce, I’m happier, she flew off and he’s now shuffling around alone. So don’t be the other woman. Find your own man. I don’t like to share.
I don’t understand how an older woman could get herself in such a situation. It’s not like she’s a young naive girl. And then to carry it on for years.
It's precisely because she is older that she is doing this. She admits it herself when she says "im not young...dating is awful". She feels this is her only shot at love.
Yes so it’s a good thing she isn’t married. It’s very sad that this husband has 0 respect for the sanctity of marriage. He shouldn’t have gotten married either.
She’s never met his children but he has met her daughter! This woman’s lack of self worth extends to her poor daughter. I hope her daughter never sees this guy out and about with his family, for her sake. My goodness.
This is so close to my failed marriage and hearing what you said to the woman who's separated from her husband. It did my heart good to listen to this 💓
@@margaritacordova7893 she is being messed around by the man she loves. The married man is playing both women. It never ceases to amaze me how the OW is always vilified when it is the philandering MM who is the one who is most to blame.
My EX Husband had an affair and his lover had all the same excuses this woman has and it makes me so mad that she thinks this is somehow his wife's fault! like really?? He told her that our relationship was over also and I had no clue that it was over? Until I found out about the affair then it was over! It was such a hurtful, painful and traumatic experience for my children and I. To all those who think like this woman YOU are WRONG! Affairs have a splatter affect it affects not only the people involved but also the children & the rest of the family. Anybody who decides to have an affair are very selfish people there no excuses for this type of behavior. my children and I are still healing from this.
I’m so sorry Elizabeth, you went through hell and didn’t deserve it. I’m going through it now and it’s unbearablely painful and yes affects SO MANY PEOPLE!! My god adultery should go back to being illegal. It’s so destructive and damaging and very very often results in very bad outcomes-even death. What an incredibly crushing price to pay for two losers getting their disgusting rocks off for a few afternoons a week.
I’m sorry this happened to you. The cheating partner is 100% at fault. He is the person who made the commitment and no one can “make” him cheat but himself.
You're not dating. You're committing fornication, he's committing adultery...for the past six years. And if he is dishonest with his wife, he's dishonest with you.
The thing about John is that is is more than happy to call out the guy for being a lying piece of, but he will love bomb the girl by proclaiming multiple times how smart she is. Either John is a master manipulator or he doesn’t understand female nature… at all!
Don't you realize that his wife is not the only one he is cheating on. Even if he should divorce his wife and marry you all you've gained is a cheater. But they never leave the wife
To the second woman, she said that he was always the sexual pursuer for the first three months. Then he stopped doing that. My question is how often did she try to initiate sex? If he backed off seeing if she would for a change and she never did, that could be the reason why it happened. Especially since she's been so determined to "fix it" to get him back to always pursuing her. If a man feels anything is one-sided, he'll gradually withdraw. It's just like when someone is always reaching out to a friend to hang out. Sooner or later, they'll stop and wait to see if they hear from the person for a change.
Can we all admit that there's never a reason to cheat? And that looking for loyalty in someone disloyal is inherently stupid. Someone who will cheat or divorce FOR you, will do the same TO you.
first caller: block him. i lost 3.5 years to a relationship with a player. he wasn’t married, but he wouldn’t commit to me publicly and exclusively either. i am stronger and wiser today. wishing you the best!
I think she is a victim and she has been gaslighted for the past few years and it is sad to see how so many people just comment because they have not been it that kind of situation but they can find themselves in it eventually and not know it until it is too late… it is so easy to judge
She is smart to lie to herself and justify what they are doing, being smart doesn't take away being an asshole, nor does it take away the ability to DO stupid things and justify it.
Smart and clever are two different things. “Smart” simply means intelligent. Someone who is smart knows a lot and is usually a fast learner. Being smart is a good thing. The word “clever” also means intelligent, but in a creative way or in a tricky and perhaps dishonest way.😂
All. The. Time. Every. Day. It’s a power trip. “Wow! He digs me enough to risk his family and financial future over? I must really be something! [a piece of something is right] I must be so much better for him than clueless Wifey over there…” It becomes a competition. For a booby prize. No pun intended.
I cannot believe the AUDACITY of that first caller! She's NOT even taking an OUNCE of responsibility for this affair. "First of all, I didn't break their marriage..."?? She maybe didn't break it but she sure as heck isn't helping or a positive element. She is out of her mind... ugh. Forget all the moral stuff. Forget the fact that this is inappropriate and corrupt. Let's instead look at the fact that this says A lot about what she thinks of herself. She's been sharing this guy for six years. She allowed her lack in integrity to continue a situation that ultimately will not benefit her. She's UNSTABLE... completely. Hang up.
@@Batmans_Pet_Goldfish He's not on the call. She is. And though I'm all for the whole, "He is the married one. He is the one to blame." She is just sitting back like "I have nothing to do with their problems. I'm only sleeping with him...." It's deluded.
He’s a chameleon and unfortunately she doesn’t see it. Of course she feels like he’s her best friend. He’s created this romantic movie world before her eyes with just her and him in it. He basically groomed her. He knows what to say to her and he learned her insecurities. This guy will never leave his wife for her. I bet if she stopped giving him sex, he’d eventually disappear on his own. Probably start a fight to make it look like it was her fault. If she keeps this up, she will be left alone and old with nothing to show for.
The first call was rather maddening. I’d say kudos for the courage to call, but the rationalizations at every turn make me think she was too detached from reality to understand that shame should be deeply attached to all of this. The arrogance was not helped by John repeatedly telling her she’s smart. I loved John repeatedly calling her out on her avoidance of responsibility, but his presumption that who she knew herself to be previously was a woman of character was generous and odd. She clarified from Day 1 character was MIA. “I thought it would just be something casual” is not the attitude of a woman of character.
he wants to think the best of people and i respect it wholeheartedly and most of the time it is the defining factor in what makes him so talented… but every once in a blue moon it lets people get away with far too much…
Nailed it! 🎯🎯I caught that too!! ..Like l thought it would be ok to have this casual fling with a married guy, but then l got sucked in.. and here we are SIX years later! 🙄🙄 sickening!
Most people like to think of themselves as people of character- I don't think too many set out to waste six years on a married man. He was probably flattering her to get her to open up, get past her defenses and also allow her to take a good look at how she's rationalizing the situation. If he'd just come down on her she would have shut down and dismissed everything he said.
Girl......i put myself in that situation out of a hope that i would "win". Deep down, I thought I couldn't get better, I wasn't worth better..because I was used to be treated like crap. But by dating a married guy, I was treating myself like crap. I was so down on my own self worth because of so many years of not dealing with past emotional abuse and life throwing curveballs at me, that I came to a point to go to therapy to find out why I was doing this to myself. It took a few years of hard work but I'm more at peace with myself and set boundaries. Telling myself, no...putting boundaries up with people is important but setting boundaries for yourself is important and sticking to it especially if your addicted to a false sense of validation from people that don't care what they are doing to you.
She’s wasted 6 years of good years of her life, that she could have been doing the right thing and having an upright relationship. That’s what hurts her now.
Right.. and she's finally admitting to herself that it's not going anywhere, but she will continue in it because she's desperate and afraid of being alone.
I just found you one day ago. I've listened to 3 or 4 shows. I feel like you've had a camera on my life. You have nailed so many things that I found out after the choice was made. I so wish I had had someone with your wisdom in my life pointing out the what and why so I could have understood where my choices were going to end up. Keep doing what you're doing!!!
I met my husband while I was in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. We were long distance at the time. 4 days after I met my now husband of 2 decades, I broke up with my boyfriend. I knew I didn't want to have an affair - I had met my person. I didn't want to disrespect my boyfriend or my husband by having two relationships. This man DOES NOT CARE about the caller, or his wife. RUN.
She gets what she want......a "partner " fun tines in private and a "friend" Also gets NO responsibility in building a home together, responsibility. She also still has the freedom of her own home, doing what sje wants and her own private life
My Mother once told me : " Never trust a man who tells you his wife doesn't understand him "
Why? A wife sometimes can’t understand their husbands😢
@@LLMC968Then talk to a counselor, or consider a divorce. What can the other person give, that’ll help solve the problem. In a matter of no time, you’ll be having an issue with them also🤷🏽♀️
great advice ❤
Or that she henpecks him, is mean, trapped him, etc.
@@LLMC968go away, you added nothing
Dear Lady: my mother waited 36 years for her boyfriend to leave his wife. He never did. The wife passed away. And then my mother moved in and passed away 2 years later. She wasted her life. She gave up her marriage her children her finances. And all she got was to be the official women for 2 years. That is the future u are facing. Enjoy.
Wow! Great lesson.
Damn! WOW. You said it.
Ohhh that is painfull to read! 😢
😔
Wow
As a wise old man said;
'IF A RELATIONSHIP IS SECRET, DON'T BE IN IT'
Coco Chanel said this
So very very true. I know this for sure! Cheat with you, will cheat on you.
She is annoying me as she keeps saying , correct and yes . She also stated that she did not ruin the marriage and that the wife had infidelities . She does not know that , only that he said it .
And what has a lot of the true crime proved? That the cheater is the liar and lies about their side of the situation, even to get another to the do their bidding, as far as murder no less...
So yes, she is RIDICULOUSLY foolish. It is so hard to even listen to her unwillingness to see truth...
Sounds like she has no shame about it and probably feels entitled to take him.
Exactly!! all she knows is what he tells her. It makes me mad because of all of the excuse she is making for the DESCIONS! she has made to hurt another person. Both of them are terrible people, how can you lay down with a person who is in a committed relationship. It makes me SICK!
And the cheating husbands are always going to badmouth the wife to make himself look good! You can’t be that naive!
She's too delusional to leave. I don't know why she even called into the show. I doubt she will take his advice.
I once got hounded by a bunch of people in a singles Facebook group because I said I refused to date someone who is even separated. Get divorced and then we’ll talk. They said that I could potentially be missing out on a great person. Well, they’re not that great if they can’t end one thing before starting another.
💯
A separated person is still married. You are 100% correct never to date a married person. They have plenty of stuff they need to work out and if needs to be done without being new people into it.
could be missing out on a cheater .. oh no
Good for you for standing on your morals. You deserve someone who is 100 percent available
That's called self-respect, good for you.
How to get out of a relationship, especially with someone already in one: Say goodbye, close the door, block the number, stay busy, connect with old friends, start a hobby.
Move on. Let them go
Im taking all the notes 📝
Sounds like something a home wrecker would say
That can work for either party, either the one who initiated, or the one who was drawn into it
The door swings both ways, so if one initiates it, then the other should do likewise and agree
It's better to part on good terms rather than bad ones
It's better to part in peace rather than during or after a fight
I'd say don't leave the person in the dark if you're secretly thinking on parting ways
DON'T leave them to figure it out
Leaving them in the dark to figure it out is kind of like wasting their time when you SECRETLY KNOW you're done and they haven't yet figured that out
It's kind of like WASTING THEIR time and causing THEM to put THEIR life ON HOLD THINKING you're coming back, and NOT KNOWING for WEEKS or MONTHS that you're SECRETLY NOT
This is ESPECIALLY true if there were no warning signs it was coming, and you leave the OTHER party CLUELESS
Explain that you are so that you don't cause them to waste precious time putting their own life on hold thinking you're coming back when secretly you're not, it's called the right to know
Do the right thing and tell them Without anything distracting, no sounds, music, noisy settings whatsoever
You want a calm quiet peaceful environment so that you can have that private conversation
That kiss goodbye with NO WARNING WON'T cut it, you HAVE to TELL them!
If you cut them off secretly Without actually explaining that you're ending the relationship, Secretly wasting their time because again, you shouldn't do them wrong by causing them to put Weeks or months of their lives on hold thanking you're coming back
Don't leave them in the dark to figure it out, SHAME ON YOU if you DO
@@chocolatewolfewhat's good for the goose is good for the gander
Remember, it takes two to tango
One can initiate, and the other can accept it and go along for the ride, but either one or both parties must agree to separate
If someone says goodbye, then don't just ghost them because that's when you cause the other party to put their life on hold for you while they're in the dark trying to figure it out and THEY DON'T KNOW you're NOT coming back
Your best to explain it to them in short conversation
Explaining it to them gives them fair notice that you're moving on So they don't put their lives on hold while waiting around for you and wasting weeks if not months or WORSE yet YEARS and ultimately WORSE yet, DECADES
Depending on the situation and if it's a long distance relationship, how busy you are And the situation of the other party Comma they could end up waiting UNREASONABLY long because they haven't yet realized that you're really NOT coming back
Do you remember the dog named Hachi?
Everyone but him knew his owner wasn't coming back because he died, so Hachi DIED WAITING
Don't put a human being through that, because SOME people REALLY WILL DIE WAITING
In fact I knew of someone who Waited for a very long time for her son to come home from the Army....
This lady Left her Christmas tree up, and his gifts under the tree....
None of us knew that he secretly DIDN'T join the Army, I happened to have found out a good number of years LATER because he admitted it LONG AFTER his mom DIED
I don't know if she ever found out her son secretly NEVER joined the army, so he's secretly a "PX Hero"
What I found out though Is that This man's mom was secretly abusing others in her care, particularly the Down Syndromes who were eventually removed from her home and rehomed
I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she secretly abused her kids during their childhoods, and faked being in the Army just to avoid HER
I THINK it's POSSIBLE that he took protective actions NECESSARY to PROTECT his son from HER
@@chocolatewolfeor someone with common sense, you should try it
If he cheats WITH you, he'll cheat ON you.
It sounds so cliche, but oh soooo true!
...and she'd deserve it
Once a CHEATER, always a CHEATER!
well they are 6 years together, long time
Absolutely true.
HELLO 👋 Once a cheater always a cheater!
She won't end it. I can hear it in her voice.
He's probably good in bed. Only reason not to give it up.
Nope she's not. 😒Definitely could hear it.
She will in 10 or 20 years.
I agree.
What I am wondering is why she called...she clearly didn't want to hear the truth, so what's the point?
A friend of mine was "the other woman". Not only did he not divorce his wife, he got her pregnant. That's when my friend finally saw the writing on the wall. She was heartbroken but it helped her to move on.
Personally, I've been the child in this kind of situation. My dad cheated (repeatedly) on my mother and I'm still dealing with the emotional consequences of it at the age of 45. For years, I didn't believe myself worthy of being loved. It took years of marriage to a faithful man to believe that this man truly loves me and he isn't going anywhere.
He will never leave his wife for you. No need to.
Yep she’s already giving him everything he needs from her. He has no need to change titles for her.
True!
And why would she want him to?
Exactly.
@@bronwyn117I don't think she really wants to. She's just desperate to justify her actions and make herself out to be the innocent party.
How bizarre how she can see him lying to every other person in his life and still assume that he’s being honest with her.
Exactly!
Yep
Haha. Exactly
Lust makes people stupid
@@Are.Baires 💯 facts!
Cheaters don’t understand they only see the fake good side of someone. It drives me nuts when they say it doesn’t affect the children.
Right?! Kids know. PLUS if he left his wife for her, which she seemed to have been hoping for, that would totally ruin the family and she would be ok with that?? How could anyone willingly participate in such a choice and still claim innocence. I cant stand hearing about this and her claiming to think its all on him.
Cheating causes so many social problems. That’s why you’re told not to do in many different religions and philosophies.
The fact that some mistresses believe they found their happily ever after in someone else’s husband is pathetic. It never ends well
What’s worse is the wife who stays with the husband after betraying her this way. Now that’s pathetic.
@@Meems-p7o, it’s important to not deflect and blame the innocent party..i.e, the wife. This is called sidechick/sidedude logic, because, calling the victim “pathetic” shows a lack of empathy and delusion. Until you’ve‘walked a mile in her/his shoe,’ you have not a clue.😳
@@Meems-p7otell me you’ve slept with a taken man without saying it directly 😂
unless it's the King of England apparently.
@@Meems-p7o
Actually it’s not. At least not on the wife’s side. I commend her for honoring her share of the marriage by not leaving til death do them apart.
Dude, this chick is ridiculous. I will always remember my old coworker. Dated a married men for 15 years. He never left the family, she never got the kids she wanted and then she died alone of cancer.
Girl run and clean up yourself and the mess you are creating, or karma will strike hard and bad!!
Ouch
Now that was just foolish on her part. I don't understand why any single person would waste their years dating someone who is married.
Karma will be swift and strong when it hits. Karma never forgets and can't be outrun.
Same, old coworker were messing around with this married man for 12 years. When he finally left his wife, they moved in together. He ended up going back to his family and she ended up moving in with her sister. Such a mess.
😮😮😮
It must be nice to feel zero accountability or empathy for other people. That woman scares me.
I love, “you’re assuming you’re the only one on the side.”👍
Yet she still deflects responsibility and facts.
Exactly my thought too.
Bingo!
And yet he claims she's very intelligent without knowing literally anything about her
Only a mistress can think she’s the only one. Why? They’re too dumb to realize there were at least always two or more.
@@GameChanger597yes.
He’s trying to build her up so she has courage to leave boyfriend.
This woman is JUST as bad as the cheating husband. No accountability. No empathy for the absolute damage she particupated in. Shes not a good person.
Relationships that start as infidelity have a 98% failiure rate for a reason. Two very broken people not willing to change dont make good longnterm partners.
The person who breaks a contract/commitment/agreement that they made is always the worst one in any situation, and any other conclusion is silly imo.
Reminds me of my sister in law. She's been having an affair with a married man for the past 3 years. She even had a baby with him, which he didn't want but she still kept the baby. That beautiful boy is the only good thing that came out of this sordid mess. She calls him her "boyfriend" and I just can't stand it. He does not love her, and she's delusional that he does. I walk out of the room whenever she talks about him, or the "horrible" wife he has.
But he was already “unhappy” and his marriage was “already over.”
@@romancewriter6296 my sister is the other woman too with a child. He’s “leaving” his wife and is trying to be a family with her now but who actually knows. I had the same thought, “you don’t know this guy.”
@@mimimonster Yep. He needs "support", his wife doesn't "understand". She can't help that she's in love. Stuff like that. The worst is that her own mother suffered for all her marriage from a cheating husband, which she never left. I can't even look at her now. I know it's a tad petty, but it's the whole dishonesty of it that I can't stand. She's deliberately hurting this other woman who did nothing to her.
Isn’t it strange how it’s never a man calling to say he has been having an affair with a married woman?
Great point
it must go on a lot but you don't hear of it
It does happen. I have had married men asked me out (I am married), meaning that it happens, but I don't know why men don't report themselves here or anywhere!
@@omoleyeesan-ojuri8807they don’t catch the feelings that the women side pieces do. The men are content with the current setup because it requires low commitment & just fun & games and they don’t feel the remorse until something terrible happens.
Pretty sure I've heard one on this very show
Your soulmate is not that lady’s husband. Wrong situation.. right person… How disrespectful
How sisgusting and anger inducing this lady is
"Wrong situation, right person" has got to be the silliest "adage" I've ever heard 😂 Wrong is wrong
Love yourself more mama..
She is a follower not a leader or else she won't be making this call.
Wake up.
Right. The nerve of this moron…
The person I married turned out to be someone else's soul mate. We married and a few months later he met her and fell in love with her.
He chose her. It happens.
“Unfortunately involved in an affair for 6 years” like it was an accident. Bad person.
People who narrate their lives as if they had no active role in it are the worst. Zero accountability. Zero hope for improvement.
Very childish assessment
“Unfortunately” she knows it’s wrong and has engaged in it for 6 years. She’s going to get her karma and it’s going to eat her alive!!
Yep
My ex cheated on my with my best friend after three and a half years, while I was pregnant with his son. Then less than a year in she cheated with her ex, three years in she cheated on him with his best friend. Karma comes back swinging.
The second caller, who just recently left her husband. I’ve never heard someone with such a similar story as I lived, mine went on much longer but what a blessing to have someone like John say ‘he doesn’t want to be married to you’. I wonder what life would’ve looked like if I’d heard that sooner.
i do not like how he only hears one side of the story and just assumes the caller is telling the truth. she could be totally lying and telling this story though a filter that suits her needs to be
“He wants another year to figure out his marriage.” I’m sure he does
😂😂😂😂😂
Right? If it’s over 6years ago why does he need MORE time. Make it make sense
I laughed at that too! He might as well of said, just hang on for a year until I get my wife to calm down and trust me again, and then I’ll give you a call…. WTH
14:12 “I would’ve never done this, looking back.” Only saying this because it didn’t work out the way you thought. If he left his wife, there would be no regrets…
@@klickingkayasmr7585 Sorry, I don’t see the connection. He told his affair partner he wanted a year to figure out his marriage, which is a ridiculous and laughable statement in any context.
@klickingkayasmr7585 YES!!! You meant to break his marriage and now you are the loser then you wouldn't have done it.... to phone in and play victim to something you caused??? Come on!
Even if I had a crush on a married man, I would lose all attraction to him once it became apparent he was willing to cheat on and lie to his wife. Knowing a man is a scumbag like that would destroy my attraction to him.
That's because you have a functioning moral compass and a healthy amount of self esteem.
You’re so right, I’ve seen examples of this very thing in real life
I second this comment. The attraction disappears as soon as they break moral grounds. Yuck
In college there was a married man took me out. I didn’t know he was married at first. He didn’t act married - AT ALL! But on our date he forgot to remove his ring (that he wasn’t wearing when we met). I asked about it wondering if he was a widower or something. Nope. He was married. Ew!!! Gross!!!! 🤮 🤢
As an early grown up, I had my 1st high stakes job. Executive level… there was a guy from a company we partnered with I had to learn from and work closely with on our biggest project yet.
After the 1st time we met for a long strategy meeting with the coordinator I asked a mutual friend if that guy had a single brother or anything.
I mean this man could… wear a wool sweater like it was pashmina or chenille, ok?
Warmest brown eyes I’d ever seen. Compassionate, caring, helpful, extremely generous - and not for me just for the people the project was helping. I mean. Dude was a big time international lawyer. Often met presidents - of countries. Coulda been arrogant, snobbish, or patronizing.
Nope. Most humble person in any room.
Quiet humor.
Oh my gahwd did I fall hard.
Never told him though.
On the project implementation week, after some significant challenges to its production, he… didn’t have to admit his feelings for me. But he did. He told me he loved me. But I already knew. He could tell I was struggling.
The first thought in my mind was “You tell her that too? What could that mean to you?” I wanted to slap him.
But if I touched him, we’d be “off to the races” as Deloney says.
He didn’t cheat.
The temptation was so heavy. It hurt. It hurt not to embrace him. He felt it. That’s why he loved me.
So, I said, “We can’t do this. This is against God”, even though I was staunchly Agnostic. It just came out like that: “This is against God” is all I could say, and I left the room and called one of my best friend’s and cried, wishing someone like that could be mine.
And he was right there alone in his hotel room not 3 doors down and across the hall from mine.
Few weeks later, was back in my country. We didn’t cheat on his wife or family. We’d kept respectful professional distance. Whooo boy was that nerve wracking…
He called once to tell me he loved me again.
I said, “I know.”
If I had voiced the truth that the feelings were mutual, our futures would have changed. I couldn’t handle that right then. I was vulnerable enough as it was.
Couple years later I met my now husband and started a family. Karma got me for even toying with those ideas back then when my hubby showed a special likeness for young, single, childless coworkers. And one of them was sending pics of her cleavage and navel to his phone, at least.
Serves me right.
I agree and I think it’s because you most likely have values, morals, and standards. However, she has been with him for 6 years and started her conversation out with “unfortunately”! She knows it’s not right and she chose to continue with it despite knowing she was engaging with a man that’s causing damage to the wife.
I dated a separated man for 2 years. I broke it off because he wasn’t moving forward with a divorce and he hadn’t introduced his kids to me. I was there for his entertainment. He didn’t care about me. Thank god I ended it.
Never, ever believe anything a married man says to you about his wife to sleep with you. You have no clue how low a cheater will go. The limbo bar is literally in hell when it comes to cheaters. He is never leaving. He doesn't care about his marriage, any marriage, or anything to do with marriage. He doesn't care about his own kids or the woman he has claimed to love. He is lying to you about everything and he knows that he can have whatever he wants from you. Stop accepting scraps. You are worth more than this.
Wow so true.
His wife gave many years of her life for this loser....
Exactly. He is million miles away from truth and integrity.. and as an adult you are making a choice
@@Applauseifyexactly! They also forgot to mention he doesn't care about you either. The person he's cheating with is nothing more than a minor distraction for him.
Lying became a lifestyle to that guy. 6 years. So who knows how much lies that guy said. We all knows it became a lifestyle
I've never heard anyone say "absolutely" so much and yet have no clue as much as this woman. She seems like she has zero clue or remorse about what she's done.
Absolutely. 😅
I did know someone like that. They are emotionally exhausting to be around
That's how that married man got her. She's very agreeable.
When the Dr called her smart and compared her to a lawyer she was flattered. When he said he wasn't judging her they were friends sharing nachos she let her guard down. Then the Dr told her she has no dignity and other things to get her to end the affair.
This Dr got her in half an hour. The truth is every time she sees that married man he manipulates her the same way. Can you imagine how deep he's gotten his hooks in 6 years. The poor woman doesn't want to be free
My Dad always told me "don't even have a coffee with anyone you shouldn't be involved with". Being on the receiving end of infidelity, I learned to see my myself in the highest regard and never even talk to anyone involved meaning gf, wife or live in.
Im so sorry this happened to you. I just want to say now with many years of experience if your partner lies to you he is definitly lying to the mistress. Thats apex predator playing with 2 peoples feelings. Im not saying there are horrible women but in 99% he fed both woman with so many lied depending were they are weak. Also good job dumping him too many woman know very well about affair but chose to stay and play victom
“I know, I know, I get it.” No , no you don’t. If you did, you would’ve stopped it the minute you knew he was married.
Yep
What about him? Is he innocent and nice cause he is married??
She cognitively does, but she's not convicted
@@matinaki1644both are equally guilty… but you already knew that and you’re just trying to shift some of the blame that was rightfully placed on her. She’s the one who called in; therefore she is the one rightfully addressed.
@@msprettypinkpanther6142 it depends. In this case she doesn't sound like "Oh I did something really stupid because I was in a really bad place and he showed interest towards me". She is more like that his wife is in the way, so yeah, she is trash. But he is equally or even more trash if he does not repent either (for the act itself, not the possible repercussions and drama).
I have zero heart for women like this (and men like this). As a wife who's been cheated on, both man and woman involved in an affair have no idea what destruction they have caused to the family. The trust is forever destroyed, the family future envisioned is destroyed, the childrens' right to have their mom and dad under the same roof is destroyed, financial stability destroyed, and this doesn't even include the emotional damage to the wife/spouse and kids, which can last a lifetime. I don't care if the marriage is on the rocks, once the infidelity lined is crossed, nothing is the same.
Not to mention the pain caused to both parties' extended families when they inevitably find out.
Why settle For Another Woman's dysfunctional Husband .
100%, I'm with you. She's awful. He's awful. The poor children.
Agree. Why are women so mean to other women. Why do they hit on, flirt with and sleep with another women's husband. We need to be better to each other.
Totally agree! 😢
I do not feel bad for this lady. A temporary lapse of judgement is not 6 years.
She’s not going to call back because she’s not going to cut it off. He will end it before she will
Men rarely -- if ever -- end long-term relationships where they are reaping a lot of benefits and where they're comfortable.
My mom ended it after 30 years,,with my dad..a married man..I was about 17 when she made up her mind..
The marriage wasn’t already over if he’s still with his wife 6 years later.
it might be on some level in his "warped mind" if you will..which is why he justifies the affair....as i'm sure he has told the mistress lots of excuses as to why he hasn't left...
Very good point! 👍🏻
She was just spiting all that out there trying to make herself feel like less of a homewrecker. Crazy how she was blaming them both for her bad choices.
Exactly😒
I mean for real. She will not let him go. He will never let his wife go. So enjoy the current status.
If someone is already cheater why do people think they'll finally be faithful to them? Cheating isn't something a person only ever does once.
Amazing how she tried to get JD to give her a pass (“We fall in love with the wrong people all the time, right?”) and he refused. She’s just wrong.
You know that how? Human condition is very complicated.
Exactly. The right person won't be married to someone else. Ever. For multiple reasons but the main reason is bc ppl that have traits like this (cheaters) don't go away when they get with you. It's a character issue.
@@CrystalM1917 IT's certainly a redflag but most people are with someone who has some kind of serious flaw. 6 years is way too long agreed.
@@JudePi-jx7yo cheating is not a flaw. It is an active choice that destroys the whole foundation of a relationship and defeats the purpose of entering into one.
Nailed it! 👍🏻🎯🎯
She clearly wanted him to give her a pass in her delusion! The hoops she is jumping to make herself feel that this relationship is ok shows how desperate she is to 'justify' what she's doing.. she KNOWS it's wrong deep down, but she don't want to let go, and most likely won't end it..
I used to date a married man. As soon as he got his divorce he started to question his sexuality and have sex with just about any person he could. I thought when he got divorced we would be together. It was a huge wake up call. I had constructed an image of who I wanted him to be in my mind, but I wasn't paying attention to who was standing right in front of me.
similar situation i've experienced too...married men, newly divorced men..both a waste of your time!
Respect yourself! Rediculous! Your so much better. You are enough! Walk away and never look back. Your being used. Walk away! End it! Your so much better. Never look back. Life is too short! Live your best life! Embrace being on your own! Respect yourself!
@@MsLivinghealthy agree. Waste of your valuable time. They just want to have their cake and eat it too anyways. Aka take advantage of any willing party. It’s a sad existence & you just have to leave people like that where they are at!
No one can replace the Lost Years, Lost Possibilities in this woman's life., stllen by this lying Rat B@$tard.
Thank you for the honesty
Sorry, Michelle, but if you are not happy to proclaim to your daughter, "I'm dating a married man!" then you know you're doing something wrong. To another woman, to another family. Wrong.
She should wait another 6 years to know he is not divorcing her.
Hahahahahaha!
🙊 oops!🙊
Then wait another 8
😂
😂😂😂😂
She keeps saying she's knows. She does not in fact know.
she sold her self cheap.
So true !!! And let’s keep it 💯 she ain’t going to leave him cuz she really thinks she’s special 🤦🏽♂️
@@javidallas4113Her tone of disparagement to the wife was off . I don’t believe that she cares about the wife or the kids .
@@sabrinaliu66bargain bin GF
The only thing worse than a cheating husband is the woman who knowingly participates in the betrayal. Do you ever think of his wife and family?
No, they never do! Both immature and disgusting!
I would not advise her to think of his wife and kids; I would advise her to think of HERSELF! THE CHANCES OF HIM LEAVING HIS WIFE FOR HER ARE like 3%. And even most of those marriages fail. Do not date married men.
It blows me away how some women can have such low self esteem yet think the guy that’s having an affair wouldn’t cheat on them.
Cuz she's a cheater too. This woman is not a victim.
It's called delusion.
I think it's actually a type of arrogance. I'm special, I'm different, our relationship is so special, he will leave his wife soon
There is a way to pump up your self esteem to take a man away from his woman. I have known women who were only interested in married men.
We do not “fall in love with the wrong people all the time”… we fall in LUST with the wrong people all the time!
You cannot build a house in sand , it needs a strong foundation.. any time you have a relationship with someone who is married, its sand ...
You feel like you're letting HIM down by leaving? My god, ladies, the bar is in the dirt.
More like underground at this point lmao
The bar is below the pits of hell at this point
@@basma1993Exactly; _sub_ hell 🤦🏽♀️
More like the devil'd booty hole!
@@basma1993fr burning the living hell outta us
My dad has been married to his second wife for 21 years now…left my mom and us 4 kids for her. Worked out for him and her but destroyed everyone else.
Sorry 😢
Good for him.
My uncle left his wife and my four cousins for the woman he was having an affair with. They have been together for more than 30 years. I would not say it “worked out” though. They may still be married, but I know that they do not trust each other. They try to hide their insecurities from the family, but we hear things from others. He gave up an honest, caring, strong, beautiful wife for a relationship where he can dominate his new wife. His first wife knew who she was. His new wife is a fish that he can dominate. He is a huge misogynist. My aunt married a much better man who appreciates her and loves her for her.
I am sad your family broke up as a result of such a situation. It isn’t fair.
Well I want to think that even if he wanted to leave her he kinda has to look back and think he has to make it worth it for all the pain he created in you all. I’m sorry this happened but I’m glad your mom found better. ❤
I once had a married man try to start a relationship ( or maybe a one night stand) with me. He tried telling me how bad his wife was; she didn't understand him, etc. I told him I had sympathy, there are crazy women in the world, but having an affair would not help him. I suggested reaching out to a psychologist or marriage therapist. He nover spoke to me again.
The story of my life on numerous occasions. Always tell the guy that I could care less about his marital problems and complaints about the wife. That bs isn't my bs to solve. 😂😂😂 I have no respect for men/women who clearly don't respect marriage, family, or the kids and assume that fake self-pity, childhood traumas and entitlement give them a pass to cheat. Grow up and seek therapy.
Friends, this is what mental gymnastics look like.
Olympic level at that. It’s mind blowing 😵💫.
I love that he held this caller accountable for her actions. More of this in the world. It is refreshing to hear.
If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat ON you. RUN!
100%! This man and woman I used to work with had an affair on their spouses while the man's wife was pregnant. They ended up together and guess who is now cheating on the mistress? And they are just shocked! Not anyone else.
I’ve know women like the first caller. She feels she has high value because the man is ready to risk it all to see her, when the reality is the man values her so little that he won’t risk changing his life to be with her. It’s crazy how a desperate, low self-esteem woman can be easily tricked.
Cheaters don't pick you because you're valuable and superior. They pick you because your easy and don't value yourself
Yep
Nailed it! 👍🏻🎯🎯
Well said
He will go back and forth in his mind about her for years. Periods of limerence and then periods of disgust. I've had clients do this with mistresses.
Married men always tell the mistress how 'bad" the wife but won't leave!? I think he's just using you as his vocation/fun time.
Sure....it's obviously working for the married couple ,even if the marriage is toxic
@@maryanncarine2075 toxic marriage is another situation. For that case leave if you can.
Married men ALWAYS sleep in a separate room and haven't had sex with the wife in years. The wife is always a horrible and toxic person. They have to stay for the children, the wife is mentally unstable and needs him to keep her stable......the list goes on and on
They need those lies, to fool the mistress. To make her stay.
Yep and they always tell the mistress that he isn’t having sex with his wife.
My mother was in the same situation. For 15 years. On and off. Broken promises after broken promises, she still hoped. He never left. Just don't start a relationship with a married man, he will never leave his spouse.
Sad!!!
My ex married his mistress after I kicked him out for the last time. I KNOW he is still cheating but now on her. And I laugh thinking about it. She deserves him.
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
It’s hard not to laugh at that situation.
My late father married his mistress, after we kids demanded that our mom divorce him. My father did cheat on mistress/wife #2, with men! Gay accounts and everything. 😂
💯
@@Mica-e4pSo so creepy!!
Since I have been “that wife” here are my thoughts. How is it that women do this to other women & their children? Selfish, no integrity! Married 25 years I thought he was having a breakdown, or depressed, abusing alcohol, I was putting up with constant criticism. At year 30 I discovered it was oldest thing in the book with a married coworker for over 5 years. Despite his denial I sued for divorce on grounds of adultery naming her so he had no choice. Somehow I found that courage at 50 after I saw how that was affecting my daughters. Long story short they ended up together he then died leaving everything to her, she remarried within the year! I am now 75, happily single & waking up every morning feeling 19.
I was 38 years in when my husband took a brainstorm and thought he was madly in love with a woman who looked at him when we were on holiday and we were only in her company for 3 hours in the whole fortnight. Our marriage was over at that point. There was no physical contact between them but he felt sure she felt the same.... she didn't. I think it was a mid life crisis. The most strange experience ever as he became someone I didn't even recognise.
That's a beautiful story of getting rid of the 'garbage' in your life.. and moving on!
Sadly, my sister has been in this relationship with a drinking, verbally, mentally and psychologically abusive husband (constant criticism and repeated affairs) for 22+ years.. and stays! 😓 ..and you are right! The toll it has taken on her daughters.. neither are married, and l know for sure one is single by choice and never planning to marry because of her father..
Sounds like she had somebody on the side, too. Guess they deserved each other. Glad you got out!
SHE has no commitment to you. What she did is wrong. Your assessment of her is correct. However, SHE owed you nothing. He took an oath before god, government and friends to love you. She made you no promises. She may not have been the only one. Moral of my tirade? Set high standards when picking a partner. Be vigilante for red flags. Pay attention to little white lies. This goes for the men too! They get cheated on also.
How gross. Leaving everything to her rather than his daughters.
My heart breaks for Madison. It’s so crushing. That was me at year five. His behavior remained the same. 20 neglectful years later, I had to be the one to leave. Be brave Madison. Dr John is preaching truth. I wish I had heard him 30 years ago. Start putting money away and let your light shine. You deserve to be free.
She's not going to leave. She was hoping she'd be the exception to all the other calls about infidelity. He shot that down and she just told him what he wanted hear to get done with the call.
That's the feeling I got too. Once she realized her rationalizations would just get called out, she stopped voicing him and acted like she's going along with what John is saying, but none of it felt genuine to me. More likely, as soon as she got off the phone, she was probably calling the married dude to tell him how crazy this internet guy was and to make imaginary plans of how they can "salvage" their relationship together.
You’re absolutely correct!
Yep! Exactly!
So many people sensing that this lady is only lying to herself and will be running right back to her lover..
Clearly she doesnt know establishing boundaries. And not yet emotionally ready to leave.
Seems like she hopes to be the exception in all situations even this cheating one. She’s looking for a savior. Maybe look into a higher power then? Us humans can’t do shii 😂
My ex had a mistress and they evidently are living happily ever after now. I’m so happy he has someone to take care of him bc he’s had many joint replacement surgeries. I’m even happier it isn’t me.
Believe me the happly ever after, will come to an end
Just think you enjoyed him when he was younger and healthy. Now it’s for the mistress to take care of him in his older, sick days. Karma is a b*tch.
@@Cardinal15 I wouldn’t say I ever enjoyed him since he was a narcissist.
She’s not ending it, you can tell in her voice and attitude
It’s sad a lot of mistresses don’t understand the man has no interest in leaving his wife. Love is the wrong word but the wife is the one he “loves”. The mistress is just his escapism from the pressures of his normal life. He doesn’t care about what’s best for her (or his wife really) but just how these women can serve him.
This woman is an absolute piece of work. Talk about lack of ownership and lack of accountability. She should be utterly ashamed of herself.
Agree 💯
@@annstewart8506 insanity right
I think she is ,,
She is evil
What a terrible woman. Just the fact that the first time she “reaches out for help” resolving her decision to cheat for 6 years is in this public format, tells me she’s not going to do anything except what she’s been doing.
This woman is trying to sell herself as responsible and accountable, when she clearly is not.
She said, "we fall in love with the wrong people all the time, right?" She tried to give herself an excuse for bad behavior. Sad woman!
And I love that he said " no, we dont" 😂😂
To be fair, we do fall for wrong people. That one is true. We just don't follow up on that - that's the difference. Decent, moral person in a committed relationship doesn't follow the newly caught feeling, they stay committed to what they have.
@@KG-bliss💯💯💯
@@KG-bliss😂😂😂 I loved that part too!
You can't always control who you develop feeling for. They have a friendship.
Wow.. well I was the married woman who put up my husband messing with the neighbor girl. Couldn’t stop him or stop her. Acted like fools. I kept my mouth shut, enjoyed out three children. Helped them become somebody. They motorcycled places , I stayed with the kids. I even confronted her and told her she really needed to find her own boyfriend. As for him , stupid can’t see the problem. Kids grew up , got a divorce, I’m happier, she flew off and he’s now shuffling around alone. So don’t be the other woman. Find your own man. I don’t like to share.
I don’t understand how an older woman could get herself in such a situation. It’s not like she’s a young naive girl. And then to carry it on for years.
I feel like she does it to feel like his hero...she believes the lies about his marriage...it serves her ego I'd say.
It's precisely because she is older that she is doing this. She admits it herself when she says "im not young...dating is awful". She feels this is her only shot at love.
Delusion comes in all ages.
An older person is the same as a young person if they didn’t heal even if they know better
Women of all ages are exactly the same.
That first caller has 0 respect for the sanctity of marriage.
Neither respect for herself!
Yes so it’s a good thing she isn’t married. It’s very sad that this husband has 0 respect for the sanctity of marriage. He shouldn’t have gotten married either.
@@Caseinpoint1777 very true!
the married guy doesn't either...they are both to blame.
Respect for the sanctity of marriage should be left to those who are married.
I love how he brings the caller back to reality. Girl you crazy lol
She’s never met his children but he has met her daughter! This woman’s lack of self worth extends to her poor daughter. I hope her daughter never sees this guy out and about with his family, for her sake. My goodness.
Oh, wow, that’s true.
Poor little girl
The first caller just sickens me. No empathy or remorse for the damage she caused!
He caused. If not her, someone else
@@heatherchandler1184dont mean she gotta f him for 6 years. Both of em can rot.
This is so close to my failed marriage and hearing what you said to the woman who's separated from her husband. It did my heart good to listen to this 💓
Cheating is evil, period.
*Amen!* 😇
First woman is insufferable and sounds like she has zero remorse
It sounded like she thinks she's the victim
Absolutely in denial of the gravity of this situation.
It's disgusting. Terrible person.
@@margaritacordova7893 she is being messed around by the man she loves. The married man is playing both women. It never ceases to amaze me how the OW is always vilified when it is the philandering MM who is the one who is most to blame.
I knew a woman that said she was with a separated guy 20 years. THEN she checked at the court house and found no separation, no divorce papers filled.
My EX Husband had an affair and his lover had all the same excuses this woman has and it makes me so mad that she thinks this is somehow his wife's fault! like really?? He told her that our relationship was over also and I had no clue that it was over? Until I found out about the affair then it was over! It was such a hurtful, painful and traumatic experience for my children and I. To all those who think like this woman YOU are WRONG! Affairs have a splatter affect it affects not only the people involved but also the children & the rest of the family. Anybody who decides to have an affair are very selfish people there no excuses for this type of behavior. my children and I are still healing from this.
Agreed
I’m sorry that happened to you
I’m so sorry Elizabeth, you went through hell and didn’t deserve it. I’m going through it now and it’s unbearablely painful and yes affects SO MANY PEOPLE!! My god adultery should go back to being illegal. It’s so destructive and damaging and very very often results in very bad outcomes-even death. What an incredibly crushing price to pay for two losers getting their disgusting rocks off for a few afternoons a week.
They fool themselves believing all the crap the husbands tells them. Men are full of crap.
I’m sorry this happened to you. The cheating partner is 100% at fault. He is the person who made the commitment and no one can “make” him cheat but himself.
You're not dating. You're committing fornication, he's committing adultery...for the past six years. And if he is dishonest with his wife, he's dishonest with you.
She's not the only mistress...
The thing about John is that is is more than happy to call out the guy for being a lying piece of, but he will love bomb the girl by proclaiming multiple times how smart she is. Either John is a master manipulator or he doesn’t understand female nature… at all!
Thankyou for being right and truthful, it's refreshing!! ❤
Don't you realize that his wife is not the only one he is cheating on. Even if he should divorce his wife and marry you all you've gained is a cheater. But they never leave the wife
Preach
To the second woman, she said that he was always the sexual pursuer for the first three months. Then he stopped doing that.
My question is how often did she try to initiate sex? If he backed off seeing if she would for a change and she never did, that could be the reason why it happened.
Especially since she's been so determined to "fix it" to get him back to always pursuing her. If a man feels anything is one-sided, he'll gradually withdraw. It's just like when someone is always reaching out to a friend to hang out. Sooner or later, they'll stop and wait to see if they hear from the person for a change.
Can we all admit that there's never a reason to cheat?
And that looking for loyalty in someone disloyal is inherently stupid. Someone who will cheat or divorce FOR you, will do the same TO you.
Amen
i can’t believe she called in like she’s innocent lmfao
first caller: block him. i lost 3.5 years to a relationship with a player. he wasn’t married, but he wouldn’t commit to me publicly and exclusively either. i am stronger and wiser today. wishing you the best!
She is literally trying any possible way to play victim. This is insane
Agreed
I think she is a victim and she has been gaslighted for the past few years and it is sad to see how so many people just comment because they have not been it that kind of situation but they can find themselves in it eventually and not know it until it is too late… it is so easy to judge
@@yessy1640she is not a victim. She’s choosing to stay in this little bubble he’s built for her. She’s sick
If he hasn't divorced her yet he isn't going to. Not for you, at least. Have some pride and find someone already single.
My thoughts EXACTLY!! 💯
Of course she has no pride. What does she have to be proud of? She’s a pathetic homewrecker
😂😂🎉❤ I JUST SAID SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN THE LIVE Chat RIGHT ON MATE. NAILED IT
100% she could have found someone single. She just chose not to.
Women like her get a rush dating a man who’s married. It’s pathetic.
As someone betrayed by my husband of 39 years, I hope she is absolutely miserable-if not, she has no conscience.
"Dating is awful"....so she chose a married man to get entangled with FOR SIX years. Dr. John saying she is smart😂
She is smart to lie to herself and justify what they are doing, being smart doesn't take away being an asshole, nor does it take away the ability to DO stupid things and justify it.
Smart and clever are two different things.
“Smart” simply means intelligent. Someone who is smart knows a lot and is usually a fast learner. Being smart is a good thing. The word “clever” also means intelligent, but in a creative way or in a tricky and perhaps dishonest way.😂
He’s saying she’s book smart- he obviously is saying she’s an idiot for dating a married man.
She's only smart enough to lie to herself so she doesn't go mad. One thing is for sure, she is not a wise woman; she is foolish.
Emotionally damaged doesn't not equal not smart
she isnt going to go anywhere. You can hear it in her voice.
My mum always tells me, "The way you get him is the same way you'll keep him and/or lose him".
I’m glad we’ve done away with the endless banter at the front end of the show. Straight to the good stuff.
Agreed
Yes it was to much and to often.
Yeah I don't like the jock stuff either
Agreed. I don’t wanna hear staff convos jokes etc. Get to the callers. That’s why we tune in.
It is infuriating that a woman would knowingly do this to another woman.
I can unfortunately.
She’s only upset because he won’t divorce his wife. SICK
All. The. Time. Every. Day.
It’s a power trip. “Wow! He digs me enough to risk his family and financial future over? I must really be something! [a piece of something is right] I must be so much better for him than clueless Wifey over there…” It becomes a competition.
For a booby prize.
No pun intended.
This is why women don't trust other women. ESPECIALLY if you're married. Single women LOVE to hunt another woman's husband.
@@brightpage1020this. And yet here she is, the side chick 😂
I have no tolerance for cheaters and side pieces. They both have no integrity.
I cannot believe the AUDACITY of that first caller! She's NOT even taking an OUNCE of responsibility for this affair. "First of all, I didn't break their marriage..."?? She maybe didn't break it but she sure as heck isn't helping or a positive element. She is out of her mind... ugh. Forget all the moral stuff. Forget the fact that this is inappropriate and corrupt. Let's instead look at the fact that this says A lot about what she thinks of herself. She's been sharing this guy for six years. She allowed her lack in integrity to continue a situation that ultimately will not benefit her. She's UNSTABLE... completely. Hang up.
Needs counselling for herself big time!
@@annstewart8506 She won't though. And she won't be breaking this off. She keeps saying, "Yes. I know. I get it.": But she won't...
He isn't the only one involved with the affair. She is doing just as much "breaking" as he is.
Nailed it!! 👍🏻🎯🎯
@@Batmans_Pet_Goldfish He's not on the call. She is. And though I'm all for the whole, "He is the married one. He is the one to blame." She is just sitting back like "I have nothing to do with their problems. I'm only sleeping with him...." It's deluded.
This poor woman. She’s lying to herself left and right.
He’s a chameleon and unfortunately she doesn’t see it.
Of course she feels like he’s her best friend. He’s created this romantic movie world before her eyes with just her and him in it. He basically groomed her. He knows what to say to her and he learned her insecurities.
This guy will never leave his wife for her. I bet if she stopped giving him sex, he’d eventually disappear on his own. Probably start a fight to make it look like it was her fault.
If she keeps this up, she will be left alone and old with nothing to show for.
She's in laa laa land
She says she wants to save their friendship, what kind of friends put someone in a position like that.
Poor woman? She knows what she got herself into. Don’t feel sorry for her.
She doesnt know how to establish boundaries and look at her own self worth.
Poor Madison. Her call broke my heart.
The first call was rather maddening. I’d say kudos for the courage to call, but the rationalizations at every turn make me think she was too detached from reality to understand that shame should be deeply attached to all of this. The arrogance was not helped by John repeatedly telling her she’s smart. I loved John repeatedly calling her out on her avoidance of responsibility, but his presumption that who she knew herself to be previously was a woman of character was generous and odd. She clarified from Day 1 character was MIA. “I thought it would just be something casual” is not the attitude of a woman of character.
he wants to think the best of people and i respect it wholeheartedly and most of the time it is the defining factor in what makes him so talented… but every once in a blue moon it lets people get away with far too much…
Nailed it! 🎯🎯I caught that too!! ..Like l thought it would be ok to have this casual fling with a married guy, but then l got sucked in.. and here we are SIX years later! 🙄🙄 sickening!
Smart as in she's trying to SELL her version of the situation
Most people like to think of themselves as people of character- I don't think too many set out to waste six years on a married man. He was probably flattering her to get her to open up, get past her defenses and also allow her to take a good look at how she's rationalizing the situation. If he'd just come down on her she would have shut down and dismissed everything he said.
"I didnt break up their marriage." Um how do you know that?? You sure af didnt help it either. Shameful.
She wants to that's for sure.
💯
The universe was watching.
And it's strict!
She'd better watch her karmic a** now
He said she’s cheated too and he’s a liar u can’t trust that
I mean she's not wrong, because hes still married. She means no more to him than easy sex
Girl......i put myself in that situation out of a hope that i would "win". Deep down, I thought I couldn't get better, I wasn't worth better..because I was used to be treated like crap. But by dating a married guy, I was treating myself like crap. I was so down on my own self worth because of so many years of not dealing with past emotional abuse and life throwing curveballs at me, that I came to a point to go to therapy to find out why I was doing this to myself. It took a few years of hard work but I'm more at peace with myself and set boundaries. Telling myself, no...putting boundaries up with people is important but setting boundaries for yourself is important and sticking to it especially if your addicted to a false sense of validation from people that don't care what they are doing to you.
She’s wasted 6 years of good years of her life, that she could have been doing the right thing and having an upright relationship.
That’s what hurts her now.
💯
she didn’t waste 6 years. she participated for 6 years in the destruction of another family.
And it's all at his convenience and his lifetime
Right.. and she's finally admitting to herself that it's not going anywhere, but she will continue in it because she's desperate and afraid of being alone.
Better to wake up now,than 20 years from now.
Cognitive dissonance is what I'm seeing.
It’s definitely giving cognitive dissonance 🧐
I just found you one day ago. I've listened to 3 or 4 shows. I feel like you've had a camera on my life. You have nailed so many things that I found out after the choice was made. I so wish I had had someone with your wisdom in my life pointing out the what and why so I could have understood where my choices were going to end up. Keep doing what you're doing!!!
Say it with me Michelle.....I'm delusional and I like it here....🤯
Michelle is not a belle.
@@rose4490Lmaooooo 🤭🤣
Such denial. No one is manipulating her. She's choosing this.
I met my husband while I was in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend. We were long distance at the time. 4 days after I met my now husband of 2 decades, I broke up with my boyfriend. I knew I didn't want to have an affair - I had met my person. I didn't want to disrespect my boyfriend or my husband by having two relationships. This man DOES NOT CARE about the caller, or his wife. RUN.
This lady won’t walk away from this
She gets what she want......a "partner " fun tines in private and a "friend"
Also gets NO responsibility in building a home together, responsibility.
She also still has the freedom of her own home, doing what sje wants and her own private life