Alexithymia is challenging. You live in a world where you feel feelings like everyone else does, but you don’t actually know what they mean or what they’re called. You’ll know that something’s wrong, but if someone asks you what’s wrong all you can really say is, “I don’t know,” because you genuinely don’t know - you can’t identify what the things you’re feeling actually mean or what they’re called. You can get by in life by using logic and reasoning (and a big amount of guess work!), but you never actually really know what you’re feeling and there’s no way to communicate your feelings, so you end up believing that people will never be able to understand you. It’s isolating and makes you think that you’re faulty or not quite human. My clinical psychologist is currently helping me with my alexithymia and it’s really hard. We spent a whole session talking about joy and how to identify joy and what joy actually means. Alexithymia isn’t just something that’s useful for keeping negatively charged emotions at a distance - it keeps all the positively charged ones distant too, and then you end up not even understanding what “joy” actually means or how to know if you’re feeling it. Hopefully this gives some insight for people who think alexithymia sounds like it makes life easier, because it really doesn’t. PS: If anyone is after a resource for treating adult alexithymia, Brene Brown has a book called “Atlas of the Heart” that I would highly recommend 🤗😇✨
That very much explains my life. It is only recently I have learnt about this. Up until now, this has made it very hard for me to connect with people and have friends. I was always the person who was socially left out and been a loner throughout my life. Most of my conversations with people is very logical and having emotional conversation or vibing with someone seems like a foreign concept and often times I spend most of my brain power in conversations to figuring out a way to be fun enough and figuring out how to navigate conversations. But now, I am wanting to change that now and get in touch with my feelings but frankly speaking I have no idea how to start and I have no idea what it would look or feel like to have emotions on my surface and being more emotionally expressive.
this was great, this was insanely great. this helps so incredibly much, it literally describes me to a tea and brings me much comfort and needed guidance. thank you so much for this video, it's wonderful, you're changing/improving lives out there, wish i could give you a super thanks :') thank you sir, this was wonderful ❤
Autistic people (like me) often have alexythymia and other interroception issue on situational and/or continuous basis because of how our hyperconnected brains process information and manage attention. We are also more likely to have trauma because we are 1. More likely to be mistreated 2. Have to live in a modern world not built for us 3. Are misunderstood and not seen 4. Have more work to do to process our experiences (hyperconnected brains have to do more work)
"Trapped under an alexithymic exterior is an excruciatingly sensitive and empathic soul"... are you saying that someone who has alexithymia is actually more sensitive than the average as they begin to heal?
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching I see! Thanks for the reply. I am finding that I am remembering my sensitivity and discovering the subtle ways my sensitivity shows up. I identify as a HSP... I wonder if people similar to me were just born into an environment that deemed us "too sensitive" so I was influenced to dissociate or deny my sensitivity
I'm glad to hear that you found this piece on Alexithymia relatable and helpful. Navigating complex experiences can indeed be confusing, and it's entirely normal to feel a mix of emotions. There are more and more resources and awareness on this I think, but within the MH field there is still a long long way to go. :< Appreciate your comment!!
The worst part about dealing with this struggle is when you know emotions are raging beneath and you want to let out and have peace, but the emotions aren't feelings to us. We are just hollow. I want to feel and experience love, but no matter what a life of detachment awaits.
Yes, I am empty. I don't like it and wish I didn't have to live this way. It's impossible to connect or bond with those around you which results in them abandoning you. I enjoy my solitude like most men, but loneliness reigns supreme in the lives of us who suffer Alexithymia.
How would alexithymia in a neurotypical person look different from that condition in a neurodivergent person? Would such a person be mistaken for autistic? Conversely, what does autism without alexithymia look like?
Yeah I don't see how having alexithymia is a form of suffering. Its a gift of resilience and at sometimes it can be confusing how the rest of the world operates with using their emotions as their compass instead of logic.
Yes I agree with this! Although, I personally find that i am constantly questioning myself as to why I don’t operate the same as the majority, and that is where I suffer. I cannot stop my myself from wanting to feel but not being able to feel 🤦♀️
Alexithymia is challenging. You live in a world where you feel feelings like everyone else does, but you don’t actually know what they mean or what they’re called. You’ll know that something’s wrong, but if someone asks you what’s wrong all you can really say is, “I don’t know,” because you genuinely don’t know - you can’t identify what the things you’re feeling actually mean or what they’re called. You can get by in life by using logic and reasoning (and a big amount of guess work!), but you never actually really know what you’re feeling and there’s no way to communicate your feelings, so you end up believing that people will never be able to understand you. It’s isolating and makes you think that you’re faulty or not quite human. My clinical psychologist is currently helping me with my alexithymia and it’s really hard. We spent a whole session talking about joy and how to identify joy and what joy actually means. Alexithymia isn’t just something that’s useful for keeping negatively charged emotions at a distance - it keeps all the positively charged ones distant too, and then you end up not even understanding what “joy” actually means or how to know if you’re feeling it. Hopefully this gives some insight for people who think alexithymia sounds like it makes life easier, because it really doesn’t.
PS: If anyone is after a resource for treating adult alexithymia, Brene Brown has a book called “Atlas of the Heart” that I would highly recommend 🤗😇✨
That very much explains my life. It is only recently I have learnt about this. Up until now, this has made it very hard for me to connect with people and have friends. I was always the person who was socially left out and been a loner throughout my life. Most of my conversations with people is very logical and having emotional conversation or vibing with someone seems like a foreign concept and often times I spend most of my brain power in conversations to figuring out a way to be fun enough and figuring out how to navigate conversations.
But now, I am wanting to change that now and get in touch with my feelings but frankly speaking I have no idea how to start and I have no idea what it would look or feel like to have emotions on my surface and being more emotionally expressive.
That is wonderful!!! ❣️
this was great, this was insanely great. this helps so incredibly much, it literally describes me to a tea and brings me much comfort and needed guidance. thank you so much for this video, it's wonderful, you're changing/improving lives out there, wish i could give you a super thanks :') thank you sir, this was wonderful ❤
I am so glad it helps!! Thank you for such a passionate comment :)
Autistic people (like me) often have alexythymia and other interroception issue on situational and/or continuous basis because of how our hyperconnected brains process information and manage attention. We are also more likely to have trauma because we are 1. More likely to be mistreated 2. Have to live in a modern world not built for us 3. Are misunderstood and not seen 4. Have more work to do to process our experiences (hyperconnected brains have to do more work)
Insightful! Thank you for sharing.
"Trapped under an alexithymic exterior is an excruciatingly sensitive and empathic soul"... are you saying that someone who has alexithymia is actually more sensitive than the average as they begin to heal?
I am not saying I can back this up with statistics or brain science, but in my own experience very often that is the case
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching I see! Thanks for the reply. I am finding that I am remembering my sensitivity and discovering the subtle ways my sensitivity shows up. I identify as a HSP... I wonder if people similar to me were just born into an environment that deemed us "too sensitive" so I was influenced to dissociate or deny my sensitivity
TY this is relatable and v helpful. The whole thing is so confusing an experience but I feel what you say makes sense to me and it's kinda relieving.
I'm glad to hear that you found this piece on Alexithymia relatable and helpful. Navigating complex experiences can indeed be confusing, and it's entirely normal to feel a mix of emotions. There are more and more resources and awareness on this I think, but within the MH field there is still a long long way to go. :< Appreciate your comment!!
The worst part about dealing with this struggle is when you know emotions are raging beneath and you want to let out and have peace, but the emotions aren't feelings to us. We are just hollow. I want to feel and experience love, but no matter what a life of detachment awaits.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us in such poignant words and deep details. Sending blessings 🙏💙
Yes, I am empty. I don't like it and wish I didn't have to live this way. It's impossible to connect or bond with those around you which results in them abandoning you. I enjoy my solitude like most men, but loneliness reigns supreme in the lives of us who suffer Alexithymia.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. 🙏💙
Just WOW.
🥰
How would alexithymia in a neurotypical person look different from that condition in a neurodivergent person? Would such a person be mistaken for autistic? Conversely, what does autism without alexithymia look like?
These are some great thought provoking questions!
Yeah I don't see how having alexithymia is a form of suffering. Its a gift of resilience and at sometimes it can be confusing how the rest of the world operates with using their emotions as their compass instead of logic.
Yes I agree with this! Although, I personally find that i am constantly questioning myself as to why I don’t operate the same as the majority, and that is where I suffer. I cannot stop my myself from wanting to feel but not being able to feel 🤦♀️