My mother was a alcoholic and my father a narcissistic drug addict. I am a codependent that attracts narcissist. Just starting to understand this after 43 years.
You’re adorable Ross. You’re a shining light. You’re wife is very blessed to have you. Loved your book. One of the first books I bought to educate myself on narcissistic abuse. Thanks for all you do to educate and to help others heal.
By nurturing self love habits based on self esteem step by step you could gradually defeat malignant self love deficit disorder over time. That requires awareness, self compassion and discipline. Great talk both of you. Thank you🙏i
Super helpful video. Still working on self love abundance. The first thing I had to do was exit toxic relationships. I will keep studying The Human Magnet Syndrome. Thank you!!!!
Thank you for such an insightful talk on being raised by a narcissist. I was married to one and I know I have been damaged but I was raised by two ‘normal’ parents. My concern is for my four adult children. This explains so much. Their father’s love is conditional…… he loves them only if…….. It is heartbreaking to witness. There were so many conditions. For all of us. The worst thing he did was to tell them not to get too dark, as dark people are ‘lower class’. I am Italian background and he is from Sri Lanka. 🤷🏻♀️💔.I pray that I can support them to really learn to love and respect themselves. Now as adults their father repeatedly tells them how much he loves them and how proud he is of them, but that’s fluff to me. The damage is done. I find counsellor s don’t quite help as Ross explained. I am now excited to read Ross’s book to finally start being who I am supposed to be and hopefully be able to support my adult children.
Ross,This SLD also culturally ingrained so the fight is nt only aimed at indiv.but society gobally.this causes disruption as more ppl find personal power to escape abusive homes.Ty Ross
Thank you, Ross and Dave for this insightful chat. I have a page full of notes and excitement about looking up your site, Ross. Blessings of joy to you both
I just discovered your channel from Stephanie Lynn's podcast and I am so happy. You are genuine and I can feel you have a passion for this work. Thank you. I will be purchasing your book.
9:30 rosi’s a human being i was a human doing 10:15 The deep trauma of an attachement experience of only being lovable if you do something for or take care of someone else
I LOVE this!!!! I am sharing with my close friends. I really like this concept and must agree 🙌🏼😊 💯 %!!! I was labeled ‘codependent’ ions ago. I have spent those years attempting to ‘heal’ myself. Thank you 🙏🏼 God has blessed you, & I, for one, - truly appreciate your insight and you sharing it most importantly👏🏻🥰
Dear Ross, I'm wondering if letting infants cry for too long and sleep alone ignored/neglected in their room is not a start to attachment trauma feeling patho. lonliness? I slept with my children as long as I could.. early div by a narc and custody battle. Also early divorces and 50%50 custody at too young an age. Also div with NPD spouse. It's a huge problem in Family Court. Many moms are calling attention to this. This needs to be in every school!! To teach us how to love ourselves early and know about being in healthy relationships. I remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Ģood morning Dr. Ross, Yesterday I listened to this video and I found it to be very helpful. It took me a long time to get to the first step, knowing and accepting I needed help. So last year, I had had enough and went no contact and proceeded to educate myself on narcissism etc. This is the start of year 2 of no contact, and I'm setting boundaries and maintaing them. It's not easy. But I'm doing it! Yay! Now, I'm learning about how to love me more and tomorrow I'll start reading your book 'Human Magnet Syndrome '. After all, there's 2 sides to every story. I have a question, So, what's left if narcissists, codependents and addicts are of course off the table when considering a healthy life partner? Is there such a thing as healthyish people who have no ties to these "camps" ? Thanks so much!
I think as an active codependent myself, I am capable of having relationships with non narcissistic women, because I have. However, I go to AA and have been sober 29 years. It is there I dated 3 women in the program. Every single one of them was a narcissist, and it shined a spotlight on my codependence. The key for me is, when red flags enter the relationship, and with narcissists there always starting very early on and they are big and they are bright red, do not - and I repeat - do not make one ounce of further investment in that person. Take everything you’ve already invested in them back off the table immediately. And at that point, either cut bait completely, or use the living heck out of that person until they disappear. Never give them access to anything of value, and only communicate w them via trak phone and when looking to use and abuse them for something. If u can’t do that - then stick to option number one, and cut bait. Good thing I’m also highly sadistic, and there is no better form of human scum to take that out on, than any narcissist. I take GREAT pleasure and joy out of it. Seeing them cry brings me no greater happiness besides orgasm itself.
This is quite interesting. These questions I am about to ask are coming from a completely interested curious place- theres no emotional charge or any tone behind any of these questions. (If you even respond) Question....being 'highly sadistic' (as you stated)... when dating a non narc female- is there a point where you have to break it off with them, if they are not into sadism? There are 2 places sadism comes from- 1)childhood (unfavorable experiences during sexual development) and 2) its learned- When you say you are highly sadistic, is that sexual only, or do you get pleasure and enjoyment from inflicting pain and suffering onto another human in other ways? Also, regarding 'using and abusing them' have you ever made a mistake and used and abused someone that was not narcissistic and they happened to just have 'issues'- ( because they have substance abuse codependency issues, being in AA after all).....have you ever accidentally used and abused someone not actually a narc? (That you know of?) Feel free to answer some or all, or none of the questions. I am curious, and I tend to not hold back voicing such. If I got it out there, that's great in and of itself- as I haven't always been able to do that.
Narcissist wants to stand out in or within a crowd... It gives them sense of entitlement to have a certain attention or to gain trust to find victims who will give them the initial importance, before they indulge into that controlling attitude.. For this, they try to be different to seek that attention; be is overt or covert narcissist... They are constantly looking or thriving for that acknowledgement from the crowd. Stop giving them the attention or acknowledgement? You will find their negative side... Making them unimportant can make them violent or desperate, which forces them to make mistakes in haste... There is no hope for narcissist because they will not like anyone poiting out to them of their mistakes; unless they can find it themselves... And that self learning and altering one's behavior is not known to many...
My mother was a alcoholic and my father a narcissistic drug addict. I am a codependent that attracts narcissist. Just starting to understand this after 43 years.
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families 12 Step Support Group may be helpful...
You’re adorable Ross. You’re a shining light. You’re wife is very blessed to have you.
Loved your book. One of the first books I bought to educate myself on narcissistic abuse. Thanks for all you do to educate and to help others heal.
HMS was my first book too. Like and respect Ross Rosenberg a lot. So happy that we have experts as Mr. Ross! Really a bless.
By nurturing self love habits based on self esteem step by step you could gradually defeat malignant self love deficit disorder over time. That requires awareness, self compassion and discipline. Great talk both of you. Thank you🙏i
Thank you for this inspiring and supportive conversation Gentlemen.
Super helpful video. Still working on self love abundance. The first thing I had to do was exit toxic relationships. I will keep studying The Human Magnet Syndrome. Thank you!!!!
Briilliant...I wrote a book callled Remember Who You Truly Are...my take on people pleasing from a life in education and coaching..
Hello 🤗 Beautiful Lady 🌹..how are you and your weather condition like today?
Yay,,,,another Ross video!!! Love your teachings...so helpful...such a vein to a healthy life.
Thank you for such an insightful talk on being raised by a narcissist. I was married to one and I know I have been damaged but I was raised by two ‘normal’ parents. My concern is for my four adult children. This explains so much. Their father’s love is conditional…… he loves them only if…….. It is heartbreaking to witness. There were so many conditions. For all of us. The worst thing he did was to tell them not to get too dark, as dark people are ‘lower class’. I am Italian background and he is from Sri Lanka. 🤷🏻♀️💔.I pray that I can support them to really learn to love and respect themselves.
Now as adults their father repeatedly tells them how much he loves them and how proud he is of them, but that’s fluff to me. The damage is done.
I find counsellor s don’t quite help as Ross explained. I am now excited to read Ross’s book to finally start being who I am supposed to be and hopefully be able to support my adult children.
Ross,This SLD also culturally ingrained so the fight is nt only aimed at indiv.but society gobally.this causes disruption as more ppl find personal power to escape abusive homes.Ty Ross
Thank you, Ross and Dave for this insightful chat. I have a page full of notes and excitement about looking up your site, Ross. Blessings of joy to you both
Great video as always! Thanks so much for sharing your work with us❤
I just discovered your channel from Stephanie Lynn's podcast and I am so happy. You are genuine and I can feel you have a passion for this work. Thank you. I will be purchasing your book.
Brilliant!
9:30 rosi’s a human being i was a human doing
10:15
The deep trauma of an attachement experience of only being lovable if you do something for or take care of someone else
I LOVE this!!!! I am sharing with my close friends. I really like this concept and must agree 🙌🏼😊 💯 %!!! I was labeled ‘codependent’ ions ago. I have spent those years attempting to ‘heal’ myself. Thank you 🙏🏼 God has blessed you, & I, for one, - truly appreciate your insight and you sharing it most importantly👏🏻🥰
Dear Ross, I'm wondering if letting infants cry for too long and sleep alone ignored/neglected in their room is not a start to attachment trauma feeling patho. lonliness? I slept with my children as long as I could.. early div by a narc and custody battle. Also early divorces and 50%50 custody at too young an age. Also div with NPD spouse. It's a huge problem in Family Court. Many moms are calling attention to this. This needs to be in every school!! To teach us how to love ourselves early and know about being in healthy relationships. I remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Ģood morning Dr. Ross,
Yesterday I listened to this video and I found it to be very helpful. It took me a long time to get to the first step, knowing and accepting
I needed help. So last year, I had had enough and went no contact and proceeded to educate myself on narcissism etc. This is the start of year 2 of no contact, and I'm setting boundaries and maintaing them. It's not easy. But I'm doing it! Yay! Now, I'm learning about how to love me more and tomorrow I'll start reading your book
'Human Magnet Syndrome '. After all, there's 2 sides to every story. I have a question,
So, what's left if narcissists, codependents and addicts are of course off the table when considering a healthy life partner? Is there such a thing as healthyish people who have no ties to these "camps" ? Thanks so much!
I have a broken picker. Been single now for years
Regarding your human magnetic syndrome and the "attraction" between the co-dependant and narcissist, is it sexual attraction or romantic attraction?
Congratulations on your marriage!
Love the content but does everything need to be a “disorder”? Over pathologising trauma.
I think as an active codependent myself, I am capable of having relationships with non narcissistic women, because I have. However, I go to AA and have been sober 29 years. It is there I dated 3 women in the program. Every single one of them was a narcissist, and it shined a spotlight on my codependence. The key for me is, when red flags enter the relationship, and with narcissists there always starting very early on and they are big and they are bright red, do not - and I repeat - do not make one ounce of further investment in that person. Take everything you’ve already invested in them back off the table immediately. And at that point, either cut bait completely, or use the living heck out of that person until they disappear. Never give them access to anything of value, and only communicate w them via trak phone and when looking to use and abuse them for something. If u can’t do that - then stick to option number one, and cut bait. Good thing I’m also highly sadistic, and there is no better form of human scum to take that out on, than any narcissist. I take GREAT pleasure and joy out of it. Seeing them cry brings me no greater happiness besides orgasm itself.
This is quite interesting. These questions I am about to ask are coming from a completely interested curious place- theres no emotional charge or any tone behind any of these questions. (If you even respond) Question....being 'highly sadistic' (as you stated)... when dating a non narc female- is there a point where you have to break it off with them, if they are not into sadism? There are 2 places sadism comes from- 1)childhood (unfavorable experiences during sexual development) and 2) its learned- When you say you are highly sadistic, is that sexual only, or do you get pleasure and enjoyment from inflicting pain and suffering onto another human in other ways? Also, regarding 'using and abusing them' have you ever made a mistake and used and abused someone that was not narcissistic and they happened to just have 'issues'- ( because they have substance abuse codependency issues, being in AA after all).....have you ever accidentally used and abused someone not actually a narc? (That you know of?) Feel free to answer some or all, or none of the questions. I am curious, and I tend to not hold back voicing such. If I got it out there, that's great in and of itself- as I haven't always been able to do that.
Is a narcissist able to learn to be different is there hope for them?
Never
Narcissist wants to stand out in or within a crowd... It gives them sense of entitlement to have a certain attention or to gain trust to find victims who will give them the initial importance, before they indulge into that controlling attitude.. For this, they try to be different to seek that attention; be is overt or covert narcissist... They are constantly looking or thriving for that acknowledgement from the crowd. Stop giving them the attention or acknowledgement? You will find their negative side... Making them unimportant can make them violent or desperate, which forces them to make mistakes in haste...
There is no hope for narcissist because they will not like anyone poiting out to them of their mistakes; unless they can find it themselves... And that self learning and altering one's behavior is not known to many...
They will never admit there is anything wrong with them. They will not recognize their emotional inadequacy.
No. It’s like trying to revive a death one. Stay no contact. A grave is a luxury for every narcissist.
They have to risk being open to trauma. A very very brave person might.
🕊️🕊️🕊️