I can say from my personal experience, when I rejected stereotypical ‘masculinity’, I was at my most depressed. I was a very un masculine teenager (physically unfit, afraid of any kind of confrontation, anxious etc.) until I picked up boxing. All of a sudden I was surrounded by a band of men who valued strength and we all pulled each other up. Masculinity is not toxic, it’s necessary.
"Toxic masculinity" is only part of the equation. Its opposite is "healthy masculinity". Naturally, only "toxic masculinity" became a buzz phrase, and should not be used colloquially - it isn't without controversy even in academic circles, but when lay people use it it becomes little different from amateurs diagnosing people as "psychopaths".
this is not about "masculinity" but about COMMUNITY.... do you get it? can you understand this simple misconception in your thought? that it is COMMUNITY that you were seeking and lacking. it could be any hobby club/community of likeminded people. that is why there are religions and societies, because of this deep yearning of community so don't mistake that for "masculinity" or don't mistake "masculinity" with the will to bodily development or physicality, because these are just aspects of human existence ALL genders experience. It's not unique to masculinity. And you know: the drive to community and masculine projection was systematically exploited by every corrupt society. a prime example of toxic masculine cults would be THE HITLER YOUTH but also todays american "warrior cult"
@@mynameismynameis666 You just tripped up in your own narrative and ideological porridge. You instantly put together the community and "MASCULINE PROJECTION", before putting some more "toxic masculinity" label material on it and associating it to being nazis.
@@dusk6159 so the nazis were not a cult of toxic masculinity? looking forward to your nazi/toxic masculinity justifiying mental gymnastics... indulge me...
Agreed, but it doesn't mean there cannot be a toxic version/interpretation of both masculinity or femininity. One could even argue that "Toxic femininity" is what Ramsey is referring to when he mentions Feminism in this video, right?
@@DaitoryuBlog this is correct. To just dismiss the fact the fact that some people adhere to archaic or flawed ideas of their gender is to be extremely myopic.
@@TheSquad4life I don't know whether it's a matter of vision or of visibility. Some facets are just not made all that clear depending on where you come from. And it's not like the spearheading of the issue hasn't been piggybacked by some nasty self-important people either, unfortunately. I find it best to stay courteous, composed, and engaging, personally. Those are just thoughts after all.
@@ericdale4641 I was informed a few months ago that fecal transplants are a thing. When someone's gut biome is significantly damaged, introducing bacteria from someone else's colon... By way of putting someone else's poop in your colon... Can be helpful to restore it.
Important topic, men need to be okay with being men. Masculinity is beautiful and should be praised, not demonised. Bad traits should not be associated with masculinity. It's more a problem with the term than anything.
Yes they shouldn't be associated with masculinity. The problem is too many people push those bad traits as being masculine, often because they were brought up that way, and use their "masculinity" as an excuse for acting that way.
@I Coroa That is a completely separate argument. The point of the discussion of masculinity, and my comment, is regarding behavior within human society. Ecological impact has absolutely nothing to do with it.
11:28 Words matter a great deal, a great sentiment. I would like to add a corollary: Be careful around people who are trying to convince you that the words don't matter - especially if they're trying to get you to change the words YOU use. Why is it the people who insist that it's "not such a big deal" to change my language are fighting tooth and claw to get me to do so?
Except for the fact that the people you’re fearmongering against are the first ones to claim that words actually matter, that’s why they’re criticizing certain terms in the first place. It’s people on your side of the aisle who claim that words don’t matter so everyone should say whatever they want.
I appreciate your thoughts on this. There's nothing wrong with being a man and masculine. It's never ok to be a jerk, bully or womanizer. I agree that we don't need a new term to characterize these things.
Disagree. Its never okay to be a bully, but bullying will always exist and have its place in the world too to overcome. As for being a womanizer. Theres nothing wrong with that. If a man is a womanizer thats none of my business and being a womanizer doesnt do anyone any harm
Hard disagree on the womanizer bit. I was never attractive to women _until_ I started acting like a womanizer. You need to have a certain amount of asshole in your personality mix, or be able to convincingly fake it, if you want to attract women. Ask me how I know.
@@stupidanon5941 I promise you not every womanizer is an asshole. Often its certain character traits that an asshole would have that women like. Not being mr nice guy, knowing what you want. Not putting women on a pedestal etc. That doesnt mean you have to be an asshole to get women Lol
Ask right back, "what about 'toxic femininity'?" If they act like there's no such thing, you're talking a walking double standard, and probably shouldn't take them seriously.
Who says there isnt? It's discussed a lot, like women that are misogynistic and bitchy and manipulative and always competing for attention. It's discussed as much as this, just diff semantics.
How about they "take toxic femininity seriously" but say toxic femininity isn't as bad as toxic masculinity, and that toxic masculinity is a bigger problem that needs to be solved first? That's when you know they are arguing in bad faith. They don't actually care about stopping toxic behavior. They just don't like men being men and will use the buzzword "toxic masculinity" to try and shut down any argument and bend male behavior to thier whim.
Yeah but that term is as stupid as toxic masculinity, how about just recgonizing our differences and be the best version of ourselves we can be. Yes certain bad traits can be more common in each gender, but we shouldn't associate every bad trait with the gender. That's dangerous.
Note that "toxic" is the active part of "toxic masculinity". Masculinity is fine. Toxic masculinity not so. Toxic masculinity is what leads us to try to enforce our authority over out families with our fists. Non-toxic, normal masculinity, is what leads us to protect our families from outside aggression. Toxic masculinity makes us insensitive to the pain of others as well as to our own pain, to the point that we traumatise others or ignore injury, illness or mental trauma in ourselves and fail to seek help until something falls apart. My father had a friend, Tom Cosgrove, a builder, who ignored the pain in his belly, thinking that to be a man you did not let on when you were hurt, until he collapsed while on vacation in Ireland. His stomach cancer, hitherto undiagnosed because he had not sought help, had got to the point where it was inoperable & he was given a couple of weeks to live. He was a tough guy though. He hung in there for another 2 months. Now, he wasn't toxic in the way that a wife-beater is toxic - his toxicity was turned inwards. He had so many friends that the roads all round the church were filled with vans and trucks from building companies all round Birmingham. He was very much missed. If your idea of being a man is to beat down on others, to ignore their pain, to ignore your own pain to the point that you leave your family without you prematurely, that is toxic masculinity. If your idea of being a man is to provide for your people, to keep them safe, to create a safe space for them to express themselves & communicate their needs & their wishes, that is not toxic masculinity.
@@blkskltn sometimes refered to as leftists, feminists, culturcidal maniacs and other social engineering types. They destroy civilization after civilization and seek to plunge the world back into darkness and chaos. Basically disciples of satan
You criticise others for "being to lazy to pick up a dictionary", yet you don't seem to have put in the effort to understand the meaning of the expression, or where it comes from - the men's movement of the 1980s. And you don't seem to have put in the effort to understand that the use of adjectives is not a "co-opting" of the English language, but an important part of how it works. If I say "dark green", I don't mean that green is dark, but refer to a type of green which I can contrast to "light green". If I say "toxic mushrooms", similarly, I don't mean that mushrooms are toxic, but refer to some types of them, as opposed to "edible mushrooms". And if I say "toxic masculinity", I mean a range of ways that men are taught to behave, which harms them as well as people around them, in the place of other ways to express masculinity - "nurturing masculinity", "deep masculinity", "protective masculinity". Also, I fail to see that your use of "screw" is any less profane than "dropping the f-bomb". Both refer to the sexual act. Indeed, a character in the movie Pride, when asked which to use (in the context of an insult), replies: "screw, it's more visceral."
I find it funny he criticises the term for invoking an emotional response, yet describes it as "Orwellian newspeak" and "Satanic expression" without a hint of irony.
The way I see it "toxic masculinity" is essentially gatekeeping but for what makes a man a man. A good example was a meme that said "to the men who dont fish, shoot, or hunt, Happy Mothers day." As a meme, its humorous and I laughed at the joke however some people take it seriously and think that men can only act a certain way. To that regard it is "toxic" to think that men have to act a certain way. Toxic masculinity doesnt mean masculinity is toxic, it means that saying men have to act a certain way to be men is harmful to the growth and development of men in society. It is not a lie, it is not decietful, it is an adjective used to describe a specific mindset that studies show to impare emotional development in boys and men.
@@davefletch3063 That is demonstrably false. The term was coined by a man named Shepherd Bliss and started during the mythopoetic mens movement. It was a phrase used to describe what had become considered socionormative behaviour of boys and men. The idea was that men have an intrinsically masculine nature and feelings that women dont have and need to be able to freely express this nature. The idea further suggests that the inability to express this nature is partially what leads to overagressive behavior in boys and men and causes bullying, misogynistic traits, depression, and general mental and physical health issues. This specifically started after the decades push of the idea that men dont have emotion and should bottle it up. So basically the original phylosophy behind "toxic masculinity" is that if men are not given societal permission to express emotions properly it can cause other issues. The idea being that over agressive behavior, bullying, and misogyny were considerrd "manly behavior" and bullying was just "boys being boys" and they need to "man up" was detrimental to mens mental health. Tl;dr: Men not being able to openly express their inherently masculine emotion the way they once were leads to toxic and destructive behavior and mental instability. This toxic and destructive behavior was pushed by society as "what real men do" sometime post WW2 and a mens movement from the 1980s worked to change it and the phrase was born.
@@captainbeaver_man903 what we are discussing is the way it being used. It is demonstrably true it is used to degrade men as a whole with the only acceptable males being subservient to masculinized females. It is in every commercial, movie and discussion about men in society
I scrolled down to post something exactly like this, pleasantly surprised it's already here. Masculinity in itself isn't bad, and shouldn't be innately condemned. What should be condemned however, is the concept that all men should conform to a definition of traditional masculinity - to fit a mold of what society thinks a "man" is. Should you not fit the mold, you're passed over at best and ridiculed at worst - almost like being a second class citizen.
let me ask you a question.... the people who expect that "you have to do certain things to be a man" what gender can those people have? can they be only male? or can they be female as well? or transgender? Intersex? etc.? If the people who think this way can be any gender, then it's not masculinity that is toxic. It's those people! And it's a mind virus.
Just wanted to say, Happy Mother's day. It was my mother who instilled in me the values and merits inherent in masculinity after my father passed away too early. "We did not doubt, our mothers knew it"
I kind of disagree with some comments here, and I'll try to explain why. Saying 'blue hats' only implies that there might be other hats that aren't blue. It isn't a description of all hats, and it's a strange read in my view to read that it's arguing that there's something blue about a hat. Similarly, masculinity is a lot of norms, expectations and ideas associated with what it is to be a man. Many of these can be very good! Drive, ambition, independence; these and many other traits would clearly not fit under any banner of toxic masculinity. However, sometimes people try to put messed up expectations on others. I have a friend that was abused in a relationship with his now ex girlfriend, but when he reached out, many people men and women dismissed his calling for help because of their ideas of what a man is; they thought men can't be victims, or should suck it up because they can defend themselves, and similar things. Although these people were using expectations of what it is to be a man to police my friend (masculinity) what they were doing, men and women themselves, was definitely toxic. All of these people were using toxic masculinity as a result. I feel like when we say that a modifier is actually redefining a word, we lose the ability to talk about this exact sort of problem. To me this is a tool as a man to talk about expectations unfairly put on me and others. Thanks for getting to the bottom of this if you made it, and respect to R Dewey as always for talking about the things that matter to him!
This is why Sean Strickland blew up and became so popular. Normal males see him doing everything possible to trigger the type of people who say "toxic masculinity" and we love it.
Yes and no imo. Obviously men should be able to express their emotions and we shouldn't bottle everything up but also men do have a duty to be protectors and providers at the same time imo, which takes a strong will amd mentality. You do make a good point tho ✌
Sadly, that's being advertised as some sort of "neo-Stoicism" where you are at fault for being sad by things that aren't in your control, but can be changed by speaking up and collectively trying to fix the issue that made you feel bad, an example would be bullying.
No. I would say your argument is exactly what they want you to think. Perfectly made up to feminize men. One of the most important things of being a man is being able to control your emotions. In many situations that is MAN UP. there are times and places for emotional outlet but you they cant take you over in daily life. You cant be led by your emotions as a man. We would beat eachothers head in lol If we men were to act as females when it comes to our emotions not only would we fail as leaders providers and protectors, we would also become very violent. (99% of american schoolshooters are boys that were raised in single moms households) Think they would let their emotions take over and shoot up a school if they had their dad to tell them to man up more often?
Another incredible Ramsey video! This guy fits so well in the archetype of martial arts master! Calm, wise , profound and funny in a really balanced way.
Thanks for speaking about this sort of thing Ramsay, iv always felt you are an independent thinker and would have valuable perspective on this. Not just on the topic of "toxic masculinity" but more broadly, on the way language is used to deceive and miscommunicate. This video, aswell as your video on match fixing in mma, have been much needed divergence from the average topics discussed in these communities.
The devil lies in the details. Man I'm not religious, I have faith, but without any kind of church behind my beliefs. And as always my respect for you just grow bigger. You said some words I already known, but need someone else to make me believe I'm not wrong. Thanks man. Hope for the best for you and your family.
There’s nuance in masculinity and femininity. Large scale societies mean that it’s easy for aspects of masculinity and femininity to becomes warped into something that isn’t positive. To call something toxically masculine is to say it’s a toxic branch of masculinity not that masculinity is all toxic in the same way that referring to some words as toxic words doesn’t mean that all words are toxic. However, it may be better to refer to “toxic masculinity” as “toxic aspects of masculinity” I’d be interested to hear how you think we can stop problems associated with these aspects of masculinity without labelling the problem. Do you think all of masculine behaviour is perfect?
*Do you think all of masculine behaviour is perfect?* is part of the semantics game. When the activists say "toxic masculinity" they mean ALL masculinity. Instead of gendering traits, why don't we just say, "don't be a jerk."
@@cassiuslives4807 Well semantics are only unhelpful if they deviate from the topic at hand. Masculinity is defined as a set of qualities which is typical of men, if part of that set is toxic then why not refer to those characteristics as toxic masculinity? I’d agree with you that we shouldn’t use the term if it’s seeding the language of anti-male activists but I think the term originates from a pro male group that wanted to help men to deal with unhealthy repression and aggression. I don’t really know what those activists do or don’t say because my environment is pretty curated.
@@Reggie-tf4ex *why not refer to those characteristics as toxic masculinity?* because being a jerk isn't gendered and there's no reason to conflate it and hence seed the language from the lens of anti-male activists. The origin is immaterial- the term "toxic masculinity" genders and falsely generalises being a jerk to all men... trying to walk it back as "nuance" is weak. Instead tell the people who are jerks, not to be insufferable, nasty or silly, whether they be men, women, hermaphrodites, talking dogs, talking cats or space aliens. Basically, don't be a bad moral agent.
@@cassiuslives4807 There are lots of ways that masculinity specifically is not positive. For example being emotionally detached and cold is something which men are taught by each other from a young age and we now live in a world where you can be what you want so it’s more valuable to be introspective and aware of what your emotions are guiding you towards instead of being emotionally repressed. Another example is the wish to dominate others, the whole “alpha” mentality is representative of a time which past millions of years ago. Humans got to where we are by cooperation and interdependence, domination is a poor long term strategy for life. I guess these don’t necessarily have to be attached to masculinity either but that’s where the issues have their routes and by calling them what they are as toxic issues relating to masculinity we can alter masculinity so that the problems don’t grow out of it.
You're halfway there. The idea of "toxic masculinity" comes from a social construct "masculinity", men who aren't "masculine" are beaten into submission, and "toxic femininity" works the same way for "feminine" social constructs. Thus, there can't just be "toxic", in a society where these kinds of social constructs exist and enforce through social pressure (the toxic part).
Well, there are differences. Violence and homophobia is waaaay more common among men, and more connected to the idea of "being a man". Ive heard plenty of guys say shit like "if a gay started comming on to me id punch the dude uncuncious". Never heard such remarks from females...
It seems Ramsey and many of you miss or refuse to engage with the point addressed by the term toxic masculinity. Its not saying that being masc is inherently bad. Instead what we are saying is that its wrong to justify toxic, abusive, sexist, misogynist behavior, etc by saying thats just how men natural are or if you aren't like that you are not masculine. For example, a lot of our elders believed men could never cry, show any emotion or tenderness otherwise you risk "not being a man" or "you are acting like a girl". And hopefully you all here can agree that you can be tough when needed but you won't be less of a man for being emotionally healthy.
@@tippusmaximus yea and to be honest it seems like just bad faith engagement given that when it comes to speaking about fighting and martial arts, dude has no problem grappling with very complex thinking 🤷🏼♀️
@@lilith4961 the issue is that for most people when they hear toxic masculinity it implies that masculinity is toxic. That's because of the grammatical construction of the term. That's why I think the term is bad, this should be called like "hyper virilism".
@@TomahAwkDJ7 nobody would use your term. Adjective + noun implies this is the version of the object/concept/person/animal etc... wich has the property described by the adjective. When I say green apple, nobody assumes I think all apples are green
@@TomahAwkDJ7 im skeptical about that claim since its clear imo we are talking about a particular kind of masculinity or listening just a bit from those who use that term would clear things up.
I enjoyed this video very much. I particularly agree with what you said about the use of "s**t" and how a word that can mean anything really means nothing. I apologise if I have misrepresented your words with that summary. I think the word "random" has suffered from this modern malady more than any other. People will use "random" or "randomly" instead of surprise, suddenly, spontaneously, infrequent, common, sporadic, occasional, unpredictable, confusing, mundane or strange, along with too many other words to easily list in a TH-cam post. I know many people think there is nothing at all wrong with this and I am not going to argue with them, but I think the language is certainly poorer when so many words are abandoned to be replaced with just one. "Like" is a similarly abused word. We can sometimes hear people use it several times in a row with only a very slightly different meaning intended from one to another. I don't think it's a very sophisticated way to communicate and it's a one-way journey that I don't think will slow down for some time.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. The beauty of language comes from the potential to say precisely what was intended. Why would our forefathers gift us with such an impressive lexicon, only for us to squabble it away in favor speaking with the variety of a Neanderthal. This is my problem with black American English. These people running the schools claim to be combating racism, yet let black kids speak like oafs. We need a return to high standards. Friends don't let friends sound like idiots. We need to be people our ancestors would be proud of, not the shameful self-serving creatures we have become. I HATE MODERNITY.
@@joshh1693 I expected replies shouting at me for caring about language. Thank you for showing me I am not alone. I would say that I think the media is to blame for what you describe as "black American English". MTV and whatever passes for it in 2022 are the things that encourage these people to reject literacy, and in the UK at least, it afflicts people of all kinds of backgrounds. They worship celebrities and the average celebrity has no idea at all of what a sentence is. Unfortunately, I don't think there is much chance of the decay slowing down and in just a few decades, we will have reached the stage where grunting and pointing are common for a lot of people.
A question for The Coach: If a man playing tennis since six months should challenge a man who have never seen a racket, his chances of victory would be near 100% Probably the same thinking would be true in all other 1 vs 1 (fencing, judo, basket and so on) But I fear that a person who practises mma since six months, against a person who have never seen a cage, wouldn’t have the same (near 100%) chances of success… What is your opinion? Thanks in advance!
If they had the same physical makeup and athleticism, all being equal besides the fact that one has 6 months of MMA and the other has 0 combat sport experience, it would still be close to 100% chance of victory for the trained guy.
@@pennc81 Yes, same physical makeup and athleticism, of course. I guess the chances would be just a little inferior, around 90%, only because in some way also an untrained man has a little (very little) skill when it comes to defend itself, but if you never took a racket you are a fish out of water...
Normally, you're still a noob after 6 months of training, except you would exercise several hours a day. All what matters, is your body, your mind, your technical capabilities, it really depends on the fighter. But why is that question important, anyway? If it's for the streets fights, the answer is simple: the assault rifle is superior to hand combat 🤔😉
Yeah. I'm politically liberal and I have a philosophy degree from a particularly progressive university. So, I have read A LOT of radical/critical leftwing literature. Even I think the use and application of this term has gotten way out of hand. There are some behaviors that are toxic and that are associated with masculinity in a culturally specific way. There are also some toxic behaviors that seem to be disproportionately done by men in a bell curve sense of averages (e.g., men are almost certainly more likely to sexually assault women than vice versa, regardless of culture). But at this point, almost anything masculine is targeted as "problematic." Some masculine traits simply are good/beneficial, and some others, while having clear downsides, are nevertheless indispensable in certain contexts.
I'd be careful with the "men are almost certainly more likely to sexually assault women than vice versa" while it's likely and the official statistics say so, men are less likely to report sexual assaults (and even admit they have been assaulted), men are definitely more inclined to violence and heads on aggressiveness (testosterone) however in the grand scheme of things I'd assume men and women are pretty similar in terms of abuse.
Great points Richard. I also think there's a missed opportunity in not redirecting conversations about toxic masculinity into in depth, nuanced exploration of true (non-toxic) masculinity. Let's make a trampoline of the floor.
the metaphor in the term is never examined, 'toxic' - nothing is inherently toxic, cyanide is just a molecule, it's toxic when ingested into the human body, ie. 'toxic' is dependent on context. The context in which certain modes of masculinity are 'toxic' is always implicit and never made explicit: it's always simply late stage consumer capitalism, always about containing primal sexuality in corporate offices or w/e. You yourself throw around this term 'toxic' despite claiming a philosophical background - you mean immoral, but what morality is implicit here? If not the morality of hyper-capitalism it's this utterly bourgeois schoolmarm morality about playing 'nice' - when it purports to be this radical deconstructive thing. 'Toxic masculinity' is a term not particularly rich in actual content or meaning but its use serves as a kind of tribal signalling among ppl who consume the same few corporate media outlets that determine their vocabulary (so they can recognise each other and speak to each other in their programmed lexicon)
There are behaviours that are bad and are mostly committed by men, but never exclusively. The issue is always the behaviour, not the masculinity. Your example of sexual assault is something most reasonable people would agree is bad, but we can call that out without invoking masculinity or smearing all men.
Comparatively lesbians harass and attack women more than men and gay men to men. Calling it a toxic male behavior is exactly why the entire concept is wrong. Psychopathic and sociopathic behavior and other pathologies and issues are not even considered either. It's a concept that points at nothing specific, superficially and purposefully ignoring every detail about it and calls it the absolute truth.
Surprised there was no discussion on the Mythopoetic Men's Movement where the term "toxic masculinity" originated to differentiate from "genuine" or "mature" masculinity. I think we lose a lot without that context. Namely that I don't believe the term is an attempt to pathologize men and boys, but rather a way to address a set of behaviors and characteristics that have managed to seep into the canon of what it means to be a man. I actually believe the opposite to be true. Bad faith actors and extremists on all ends of the spectrum have coopted the term and sucked out all nuance, resulting in arguments on sophistry rather than the real issues. It's not an inherently bad phrase, but it's been corrupted into so many dog whistles that elicit emotional responses that keep people from rational discussion.
Could not agree more. I’ve been lectured by people for my parenting style and how it relates to masculinity by the same people that say my son is the nicest and sweetest kid in the neighborhood. Sharing the hell out of this thanks buddy!
The term is not the problem: if someone tells you they don't like blue cars, the word "blue" is the important one, they're not declaring war on all cars. Toxic masculinity refers to unhealthy traits usually associated with masculinity, but it doesn't mean that all masculine traits are toxic
@@kelkelly5516 it would obviously mean the same thing: traits and behaviours that are are culturally associated with women and feminity and could be harmful to the person who displays it or the ones with which that person interact. Pointing out the problems with behaviours that are damaging and usually associated with masculinity doesn't excuse the same type of behaviour when associated with femininity
These unhealthy traits are human traits taken too far. They aren't associated with masculinity, but with humanity. Also, I've seen to car analogy like a dozen times. I guess you guys all got your download from the same place.
the vague list of behavioral patterns that make up the concept of "toxic masculinity" also overlap with mass undiagnosed issues like ADHD, estimated 20% of people have it, while 3% are diagnosed or some rediculous disparity. so compulsive behaviors, shared across the sexes, are being labelled toxic, which is itself ablist. just like throwing around the narcissist or abuser label to every ex, which is rampant among social justice and adjecent circles. there are concerning things happening for sure, but obfuscating them with technical jargon interferes with adressing them directly, and creates a smoke screen for bad actors to disguise their toxicity. lets just call it what it is, domineering, ridicule, double standards, peer pressure, intimidation, coercion, etc... and whatever else the specific issues are, rather than lumping them together arbitrarily to create some coherent narrative. the only narrative of abuse is that abusers will do whatever they can get away with to push their will on others, and deminish anothers will to make it easier to do so long term when possible. abusers will abuse all the latest anti abuse rhetoric and methodology as well, so lets stop making it a specialist field, that way ordinary people can better learn and navigate, and intervene and stop abuse, using ordinary language and tactics.
I question that whether ADHD is correctly diagnosed for some. Given what I've learned about child psychology, children do need a certain amount of attention growing up, and if they don't get enough of it, behaviors that are similar to ADHD can show up. That amongst other behaviors from other disorders.
yeah adhd has nothing to do with childhood development or amount of attention a child receives as a kid. its largely a genetic disorder, the most inherited mental illness that we are aware of, as evidence by the strongest studies done with twins raised in different families. you are right that it is misdiagnosed, but not in the way you think, it is often undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed as a laundry list of other disorders, especially when it comes to adults with it and women, the fastest growing populations diagnosed with adhd. this is because the common misunderstandings of what adhd is, its symptomology and causes, is much more dynamic than previous generations, including psychologists believed. adults with undiagnosed adhd often internalize the symptoms as personality traits thinking they are lazy, dont care about or lose interest in certain things because they have a hard time with them, are prone to accidents and social errors etc, get misdiagnosed with things like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, borderline, sensory processing disorder and more, or self diagnose any of these and more if they have a hard time accessing medical care as many do. some researchers jokingly refer to adult ahdh as "the one less diagnosis diagnosis" because of how common it is for those with undiagnosed adhd to be able to reduce their list of suspected mental illnesses to a single more coherent one that offers more effective treatement options for them. for decades now it hasnt been considered a childhood disease anymore as it once was, nor is it considered a male disease as it also once was, just that it tends(but doesnt always) manifest differently in adults(who internalize the symptoms and develop coping mechanisms, good or bad) and women(who develop inattentive behaviors to cope with dopamine irregularities, rather than the hyperactivity that men do, generally speaking of course, as men like me can also have inattentive type, and women can have hyperactive type. they are not different symptoms but different ways of coping with the symptoms, milking dopamine with activity, vs checking out until dopamine returns)
It's estimated that around 5% of people belong to the "ADHD type". For most it's not an issue, so in this context the term undiagnosed can be a bit misleading; not all of the 5% would benefit from a diagnose, only the ones that are suffering in some form or another as a consequence.
@@TheMasturCheef thats about how many folks are diagnosed with it, not an estimate, but a measurement. it is estimated that a magnitude more fit the bill that go undiagnosed. whether or not someone benefits from a diagnosis is of marginal relevancy to whether or not someones symptoms and internalized coping mmechanisms could be misunderstood as toxic personality traits. distinguishing these in any clear sense is also not always possible on the individual level, but on a population scale, we can infer it is in fact happening and is in fact significant, and therefore should play an important role in any related advocacy. dont get distracted by broader theoretical issues here, my point for raising these issues was not to delve into the prevelence of adhd, or any particular analysis around it, but that things like undiagnosed adhd are far more common than toxic personality traits, and there are symptoms of adhd that do at times lead to maladaptive coping mecahnisms easily confused with toxic personality traits. its really quite a simple thesis, if you dont try to make it something its not. its really not about how much adhd goes undiagnosed, or how much adhd impacts people, or how important it is to get diagnosed if you have adhd, but how much toxicity is overapplied, when undiagnosed issues such as adhd would be a better explination
Jesus, as someone whose been subject to actual ableism, NO. Toxic Masculinity is not ableist. Labelling sexual assault and domestic violence as bad is not ableist. Labelling homophobia as bad is not ableist.
The term goes beyond individual jerks and bullies and touches into the broader social phenomenon or conventions or culture of machismo that can promote jerk and bully behavior and mentalities.
There's nothing specifically "male" about "jerks and bullies". Just because a woman might spread nasty rumors and ostracize you socially instead of punching you, doesn't mean they aren't bully and a jerk. What you're describing is a *human* problem, not a male one.
@@bandit6272 "Human problem" can have different and specific expressions or manifestations that could use different terms. Terms can distinguish between the toxicity of bar brawls and the toxicity of Mean Girls gossiping backbiting crap. And there are a lot of cultures where it is genderized and where women are subservient (not to say without faults either). And even in modern societies there are still lingering effects or tendencies. If we were talking about the Taliban or old China with footbinding would anyone be "nooo not all men!!!" or would they be "oh yeah there is inequality between the genders, with one being forced to submission, while the other being expressed in an oppressive way"? Call it chauvinism or machismo or something else if certain modern terms are unacceptable or "the work of satan" lol
I'm sure a few other commentors have pointed this out already, but toxic masculinity is a term for the damaging behavior that people do because they *think that particular damaging behavior is masculine*. You can have "toxic tap water". It doesn't need to be said that tap water is not inherently toxic. Men and women both might refuse to go to the hospital when they are severely ill. But if a man does it *because he thinks it's unmasculine to go to the hospital* that's toxic masculinity. A man going out to the woods and shooting a deer with a bow and arrow, butchering it, and then preserving the meat, is an example of strong masculinity. It's not *toxic* masculinity whatsoever, because there's no harmful behavior in it. If a man refuses to wipe his own ass because he thinks it's gay, that is toxic masculinity. A man building a cabin or taking up boxing is not toxic masculinity. Marrying a woman and having eight kids with her is not toxic masculinity. Never telling her you love her because it's not "what men do" is toxic masculinity.
7min in...Outstanding direct statements shining light on the cult of the enemy of humanity! Masculinity = 50% of the creative expression of all of nature
I feel there are 2 different definitions for toxic masculinity: 1. The social pressure that makes men reluctant to show emotions, affection or interest in certain things (like ballet). 2. Masculinity in and of itself is toxic. If we're using the first definition then I'm somewhat on board, however the second definition is dangerous and sexist.
Yes. The first one is should be considred the only real meaning, but radicals use the second one. As I wrote to Ramsey in another comment, a toxic male while call him names because Ramsey knows dance. Ramsey is not a womanizer, so he will also be looked down by those kind of men. That´s what toxic masculinity is. Bad behaviour related to their concept of what a man should be. It´s not just being a toxic person.
@@SurmaSampo I agree, I think a lot of it has to do with not showing feminine / gay traits. Which could be the result of Christianity banning homosexuality a thousand or more years ago. So we'd need to determine if there exists masculinity independant of culture. I don't think we have to look very far though if we look at the influence of testosterone and estrogen levels for example.
@@douwehuysmans5959 I agree but unfortunately it seems that most sociologists in English speaking countries believe that all human behaviours are products of social conditioning and societies are just just hierarchies of dominance. It seems as though sociology has become the discipline of choice for sociopaths.
Seeing the title of this video made me think. There isn't a term 'Toxic Femininity ' I mean there's literally hundreds of folklore and myths demonstrating these behaviours but it's not a term like toxic masculinity or anything like that. Unless we're looking at it as the negative traits of an excess in either Yang or Yin, how we need to be balanced. Just some thoughts!
Toxic femininity definitely does exist. While toxic masculinity includes bullying by physically aggressive behavior, toxic femininity includes bullying by passive aggression and gossip. Basically, "mean girls". Ironically, Louis CK pointed out that toxic femininity is worse than toxic masculinity. A toxic male will just beat the shit out of you, while a toxic female will destroy your life.
Toxic feminity while a less used term it is used. The idea that women should want children or should not want to play physical sports work on cars etc. Lastly slut shaming is part of toxic feminity. How many women lie about the amount of sexual partners. They have had? I know men that would break up with a grown woman for having close to or over ten partners while they have had many more often more then double.
"Toxic" is an adjective, like "blue". And just like not all shoes are blue, there is a subset of 'blue shoes' which exist. It's the same principle: not all masculinity is toxic, but masculinity can be performed or encouraged in ways that are toxic, and those ways are called 'toxic' because they hurt people, and when spread to others, encourages them to act in ways that hurt people - it's a societal problem that spreads and acts like a toxin. For instance: 'Toxic Masculinity' is a boy getting bullied for liking the color pink "because it's a girl color", or a man hitting someone during a verbal disagreement because that's how they were taught to solve arguments, or someone being told to 'man up' and not being allowed to cry. I agree with the commenter in this video - I thought you were more reasonable than this. This 'satanic orwellian newspeak' junk is literal insanity. adios.
There is a lot of confusion as to what toxic masculinity even means nowadays. However the definition I read from multiple feminist scholars is that toxic masculinity is not the idea that masculinity is inherently toxic but that there are ideas in our culture that are harmful or “toxic” to men, like the idea that we should resolve our conflicts with violence rather than logic and reason or to ignore our emotions even when it hurts us to do so leading to a higher suicide rate among men especially young men and boys.
You are correct. I´m afraid Ramsey is taking his meaning from the one radicals use. If we think in those terms them the coach is right in everything he said but... That´s not the real meaning. Toxic masculinity is a problem and the actual advice that Ramsey put in many of his videos is actually a weapon to fight against it.
@@ACSMEX why is it called toxic masculinity specifically.....? You had a complex answer to what it means but why couldnt the name just reflect that definition? That is the question actually being addressed. They did not call it harmfull gender norms, this was not a one off phrase in an article. Its a bona fide expression used only for men. Why was it necessary to focus something that affects both genders only on men? When we see a woman lie about loving a man for his money we call her a gold digger, we do not say toxic femininity. There is no phrase toxic femininity in the public zeitgeist, so why is it that when the idea is applied to women it is framed as a societal problem but when the idea is applied to men its is treated as toxic.....? We all understand the idea itself, its the name that is being called into question as well as the use of the idea without context to put down men.
@@httohot Ok, I'll try to explain from my ignorant point of view. Let's start by saying that toxic masculinity and toxic feminity are both real things. You won't hear about the last one because women have not been empowered enough time and also because currently there is a PC ideology that will shut down any conversation about it. I can't even try to explain the gold digger example without risking BOTH SIDES OF THE ARGUMENT putting some labels on me. The second thing is that I'm not a gender studies mayor, I'm just an STEM middle aged mexican guy talking with you on TH-cam. "Men do not cry" is part of toxic masculinity. Yeah, men do not cry... They kill themselves instead because they don't learn to manage their emotions and do not want to admit his mental and emotional weakness to other people. Or will just drink themselves to death with the same result. "Fear of being seeing as less of a man" is part of toxic masculinity. Such a man might even reject a rectal exam because he fears everyone now might think he "is gay" or because he might feel his masculinity compromised. "Demanding obedience from women" is another part of toxic masculinity. This kind of man, if they ever loose focus, are the kind to sexually assault a woman if she rejects their advances, most likely claiming "she was asking for it", saying "they could not control themselves", or blaming the way she was dressed. This kind of men may even hit their partners if they behave with independence of their will. "Not believing women are capable of independent thought", these men will always doubt any decision made by women, they will not trust a women in their team to do the most hard part of the job even if she is the most qualified and overall, they unironically think that "women belong in the kitchen". So they are assholes, but their assholery is directly linked to what THEY BELIEVE A MAN SHOULD BE AND DESERVES. Because of that link, it requires a proper categorization which is "toxic masculinity".
@Villainy Outsider Ramsey has briefly mentioned his faith once or twice before but this is the first time I’ve heard him mix conspiracy and religion and do so at length
Toxic masculinity implies the existence of non toxic masculinity. If the point was to say that all masculinity was bad we would just call bad masculinity masculinity. The point is also not to point at individual men and say that they're bad men. What toxic masculinity is is all the unhealthy expectations that society has of men. The term was invented to explain and to understand how society hurts men.
@@timorbalimore4011 My profile picture was chosen by my niece, and I never felt a need to change it. You don't know me, and even if you did your opinion of me says nothing about the validity of what I said, so make an argument for why I'm wrong.
@@VictorChevrestt You want me to cut to the part where you gave toxic masculinity your own definition as does everyone else that got brainwashed into thinking this term actually means something? Everyone gets brainwashed into thinking the term means something without it having a definition. So they all give a different definition to it. If society has unhealthy expectations of men thats called Society placing unhealthy expectations on men. Thats not called toxic masculinity lol. Toxic masculinity was created as an attack on masculinity. Its to shame men for being men.
@@timorbalimore4011 I didn't make anything up. I'm not using my definition, I'm just using the definition. Here's a quote from the Wikipedia article. "In the social sciences, toxic masculinity refers to traditional cultural masculine norms that can be harmful to men, women, and society overall. This concept of toxic masculinity does not condemn men or male attributes, but rather emphasizes the harmful effects of conformity to certain traditional masculine ideal behaviors such as dominance, self-reliance, and competition.[8][9] Toxic masculinity is thus defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that consequently stigmatize and limit the emotions boys and men may comfortably express while elevating other emotions such as anger.[10] It is marked by economic, political, and social expectations that men seek and achieve dominance."
@@VictorChevrestt its still a made up definition. No other country than america knows about toxic masculinity. Even America which is a shitshow with the feminism right now, would forget about toxic masculinity the moment sht hits the fan and the men need to step up.
Sorry but you’re off base on this. Toxic masculinity is not saying masculinity is toxic, but that there are often expectations of how men should behave (inhumanly stoic, “macho”, sexually aggressive) that is harmful to men and the people around them. If masculinity is a river, toxic masculinity is the poisoned river that’s overrun the riverbank and carries within it something that makes it caustic.
Agreed Additionally "toxic masculinity" is a title meant to call out the culture that endorses misogynistic group behavior in the same way that "white supremacy" calls out the culture that endorses racist ideologies. Arguing semantics is all fine for those who aren't negatively affected. These terms ARE meant to be provoking for a reason; real people are affected by real dynamics. Saying that "it isn't a thing" only serves marginalize those affected even more so. Though I must say I haven't seen anyone literally demonize others in quite some time.
What is masculine about behaviors associated with 'Toxic Masculinity'? Insecurity, overcompensation, reckless ambition, seeking respect and acceptance at the expense of others, lack of compassion and empathy, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. Some of these negative traits appear in everyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation. They are the polar opposite of cultural paragons of masculinity, such as Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Superman, Luke Skywalker, Neo, Aragorn, He-Man, etc. By throwing 'masculinity' into the term, the crux of the matter is skewed, and the same garbage gets propped up as desirable traits for women, and young men are given no real role models of how to develop, just a checklist of what not to be. Integrity, stoicism, bravery, dedication and selflessness fall by the wayside as young men become permissive, indecisive, entitled and judgmental.
Sadly, as a Hispanic man, I grew up being taught all of these behaviors and other negative behaviors as an example of what it means to "be a man". I never took well to any of it so thankfully none of it stuck with me, but it also led to being bullied by other guys in my community and being made fun of for not being manly enough just because I didn't want to be homophobic, puff my chest out in insecurity, etc. I think the term 'toxic masculinity' in itself is overly divisive, but from what i understood what it tries to get at, is that these behaviors are taught to boys from a young age as what it means to be a man, but because it's termed as what it is, it makes one think all masculinity is bad, which it isn't.
This is what I've been saying. Very much agreed. The term takes toxic "human" behaviors and tries to lay them at the feet of masculinity. Then, they tend to move on to pathologize healthy, stereotypically male behavior, like competitiveness or stoicism. (Saying these are bad when taken to the extreme is no justification for the term as EVERYTHING is bad when taken to the extreme). The most toxic parts of all of this, is the term itself, how it's used, and the people who push it.
@@ferndiesel So the issue with the toxic behaviour is not that it was masculine, but that it was being taught as a cultural norm. Why not call it 'toxic cultural norms' to focus on the real issue instead of finger pointing?
@@kevingray4980 it's because it's taught as a norm for masculinity. Like I'm sure you may have cried and heard people tell you to suck it up, or that boys don't cry. Stuff like that teaches younto supress emotion which causes a whole lot of other issues in life. Like I said, masculinity in itself is fine, good, even. I love being masculine, but some things that were taught need to be seen as toxic and not representative as "what it means to be a man". Though I do see a lot of men teaching their boys better than to reflect those behaviors nowadays, so that's great
My sabumnim said something similar to what you said about changing the way you talk about yourself. The more you say something, the more you believe it. And the more you believe it, the more true it is. It was a pretty inspiring saying. I've met a bunch of people online and face-to-face that say they can't do something or that their something negative. I always ask them, how do you know that. They never have a legit answer. Never. They'll just say, I don't know, in this defeated way, and then go silent. So, I think people need to start finding good qualities about them, write them down, and tell themselves those good things. I always believed that if you speak positive, and think positive, you'll be positive. Thanks for the video. It was really inspiring.
2:06 I think the reason we don't just call people bullies and cowards is because terms like"toxic masculinity" are used to describe a wider social phenomenon. It's not about any specific individual being a dick, it's about certain gender norms associated with masculinity (or rather western masculinity, not to say it doesn't alsoappear elsewhere) that are probably bad for people. For example if you're masculine because you like sports and working out that's not toxic, that's just what you like to do. Now let's look at another trait observed in traditional masculinity: not being open with your emotions, seeing that as weak, etc. That's not a helpful trait and it can disparage people who are seeking help through things like therapy. The word toxic is used to describe that because like poison it hurts people, specifically it hurts men.
As you put an adjective in front of that noun you make clear, I think, that it describes a certain type of what that noun stands for. So toxic masculinity by definition is not general masculinity. The term might be not the best since it can be misused like many others, but it is useful, if applied correctly. "Toxic" does not necessarily points to an deadly effect of men's (mis)behaviour, but describes patterns that run through our society, reproduced not only by men, and those patterns have negative effects in many ways - like a poison within a living system. That goes beyond the meaning of words like "jerk". Of course you could also say "pollution", but I am not sure, if people would be happier with the term "polluting masculinity". Hmmm. Maybe we should say "harmful patterns" instead?
As you put an adjective in front of that noun you make clear, I think, that it describes a certain type of what that noun stands for. So toxic blackness by definition is not general blackness. The term might be not the best since it can be misused like many others, but it is useful, if applied correctly. "Toxic" does not necessarily points to an deadly effect of blacks' (mis)behaviour, but describes patterns that run through our society, reproduced not only by blacks, and those patterns have negative effects in many ways - like a poison within a living system. That goes beyond the meaning of words like "jerk". Of course you could also say "pollution", but I am not sure, if people would be happier with the term "polluting blackness". Hmmm. Maybe we should say "harmful patterns" instead?
@@loganwander6043 well the point was that if you say "toxic blackness" you are labeled as a racist no matter your explanation for using that word. So let's pick a lane - either "toxic masculinity" is a misandrist term designed to denigrate men as a whole, or we get to use both terms like "toxic masculinity" and ones like "toxic blackness"
I feel like this topic would've been so much easier for people to digest if it was just named 'stifling gender roles.' But I do have to concede that there are some aspects of 2nd wave feminism that were just plain man-hatey and phrased things in the most bombastic ways possible. I think most reasonable people would agree that some traditional attitudes towards the genders were confining, or otherwise stifling to individuals and their expression and development. I like to use specific examples so people can't accuse me of just being vague. I think stifling standards of masculinity absolutely have existed. Ramesy is a fun-loving guy interested in dance and wearing cutesy shirts featuring cartoon kittens. I know that not very long ago his attitude towards these things would've been frowned upon and he would've been socially reprimanded for such 'unmanly interests.' Similarly, it was not so long ago that any woman entering a fight gym would've been politely shown the door instead of being allowed to train because fighting was considered the sole domain of men. We have seen great progress made in these areas in only a few short generations. People have been granted access to a much wider breadth of expression and passions which allow them to lead fuller lives. Women can be tough fighters and guys can be graceful, beautiful dancers. This is good and we should focus on the positive aspects of tearing down these traditional barriers rather than endlessly nitpicking each other.
@@bandit6272 I actually edited my comment to 'stifling gender roles' because I thought people would take umbrage with me using the word 'toxic.' I get that its become a loaded word and I think I did a pretty good job of laying out specific examples of how traditional gender roles can be stifling.
@@Condeycon It is not because it is a loaded word. It's because the entire concept is a manipulative brainwashing lie to create a new speak and a plastic standard of behavior around it to police people with it.
Does the phrase "poisonous mushrooms" infer that all mushrooms are poisonous? No. Does it refer to any and all food that is poisonous? No. It is used to refer to mushrooms that are poisonous. There are behaviours that are toxic that have nothing to do with masculinity. There is masculinity that is not toxic. The two words together have a specific meaning.
a specific meaning of demonizing men and masculinity which is a common marxist tactic. its idiotic, like saying toxic honor or toxic courage....lack of masculinity is toxic, lack of masculinity = weak, predator men. don't fall for bs leftist language, be smarter.
ur example doesnt really work since to be accurate we would say: toxic males or toxic men, which exist as much as toxic women, using the idiotic marxist terms of toxic masculinity or toxic femininity is stupid....like saying toxic mushroomness..... its not honest language and its not meant to help anyone, people that fall for leftist newspeak or that propagate leftist newspeak are either ignorant, foolish, actively evil, or mean well but are misguided and doing more harm than good.
Well, that’s interesting. In the last two Ramsay Dewey episodes I’ve watched I’ve found out Coach is religious and was a missionary. I’m not religious and I’ve never gotten along with missionaries, their whole mission seems to rub me the wrong way and I always seem to find the ones who find the challenge of converting entertaining. Been watching and admiring the coach for 3-4 years and never knew or cared about his religion - it’s nice to get a reminder like that about labels.
Hi Ramsey i found your perspective enlightening and I agree with you. However, years ago I heard a take by a Jewish rabbi on the matter, and the way he say it was that “toxic masculinity” was a LACK of masculinity in men. And he meant this as men acting like boys, essentially, since boys need to learn how to become men, they aren’t born knowing what to do with their masculinity. I get that this becomes a semantics battle at this point but I thought I would share this viewpoint because I find it interesting and useful to help orient ourselves as men and figure out how to behave right. Thanks
The guy asking the question just wanted to know what your take is on men being pressured to be strong and tough and dominant and are not manly if they aren't like that. Also that men who aren't violent and dominant and like to settle battles with their hands are seen as weak. "a real man doesn't let anyone talk to him like that" "a real man this" "a real man that". You hung of with the word "toxic masculinity" the whole video. even tho he just used these words to describe the male stereotype that has been spreading. If you read the question again and think about what he wants to know, instead of the words that he used, maybe you know what and why he asked. I commented this, cause i found his question really interesting and can really relate to that. I would like to hear your opinion about this topic, without overanalyzing the words that he used to discribe the problem. Mich love, keep it up
I just leave the comment here. The point of term like "toxic masculinity" is and never was a try to co-opt male masculinity with a negative behaviors. Being masculine is fine, showing masculinity is fine and nobody want's to take away someone way of life and what they want to express themselves. The term toxic masculinity refers to the way in which we present masculinity that can be hurtful to men themselves, it is not a way to say "manliness is a problem" it is to say "men can have real psychological problems from the way society treats them and the point of discussion is to point out those sources" - toxic masculinity hurts MEN, not is a trait of MEN that hurts others. For example, the way we grow up we are thought to show little emotions, to enjoy only certain parts of media because enjoying others can seem to be little fruity (like liking One Direction or something, even thought it isn't true you automatically become weaker by listening to One Direction), that certain types of behaviors are shunned (like if young boy isn't confident in speaking with girls, he is branded weirdo), to like physical activities like sports, only those manly like football - ice skating is for the weak etc. or cars. These tropes and locking ourselves on one way of life, without emotions, without fears, without support - only you and the world is your prey approachment, can lead SOME to serious medical problems later in life and cause harm to the men, to his family and loved ones - for which are studies and I would gladly share if somebody will show their interest :) For me, the "toxic masculinity" always resonated somewhere in my life. I don't enjoy football, or sports, I liked classical music, I liked playing with dolls when I was younger (as well as building lego's, so don't get the wrong idea) but I never showed interest in cars or beating my colleagues for fun (which I observed happening often in my school). Of course I was shunned for not participating in "traditional" manly experiences. Now, I'm a big guy, maybe not big as you, but I'm 6'1 and weigh something like 200 pounds, I don't feel like crying on Titanic and Interstellar next to my mother and brothers made me weaker now days, i don't think that missing on typical "male" experience made me more feminine, I would say it just made me more open-minded on those other experiences. I think that every man should understand that the portrayal of society of them is destructive, you cannot pursue different life, you need to be strong, emotion free, working to death for the family, no other things matter, you need to like manly things and be disgusted by girly things. The term "toxic masculinity" was invented to help men understand themselves, but I think now days it was twisted so much though culture war and politics, that it lost its meaning somewhere. I hope we can engage in civilized debate and that this comment finds somebody well :)
@حسام 🗡⚔️ Its not lack of faith that make villains evil. It's a lack of empathy., The only things they value are money & self.Their self serving ego outweighs their conscience
@حسام 🗡⚔️ Perhaps this is where people are going wrong. They bottle up their feelings to everyone else when chances are many probably feel the same way. & then only confide them to their chosen deity instead of sharing them with their living brothers & sisters here on earth. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying having faith, or if you are a believer, speaking to whoever you choose to devote your worship to is a bad thing. If it make you feel less alone, or brings someone comfort then whats the harm. Just that people need to remember we are the instruments of his will on Earth, & if you believe in the biblical God then you must also accept that we were given free will, meaning he cannot act on our behalf, it is up to us to do his bidding. he can only act upon our hearts & if we have faith lend us his strength to act on our own behalf in his name. if only because if one truly believes they no longer fear death giving them the courage they need to stand up for what is right. The lord is spirit, he cannot act in the physical world without an agent of his will.
I think it is really interesting how swearing is seen different in different cultures. I am from west Europe and swearing is the most regular thing in the world, pretty much every one I know swears, I see it as a way to express and underline certain things and it adds a certain trust and informality to the conversation. Because I am not american I can not fully grasp how profanities are viewed there but this video kind of gave the idea of how profanities are viewed on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. Thanks for the insight!
I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA surrounded by the LDS culture. Ramsey's view on swearing comes from his religion. Lots of Americans swear like sailers. For most Americans, the amount of swearing is context-dependent, just like in Europe.
Same in the Netherlands. Swearing is often meant ironically to create a fun mood. Example: "yeah, see you later, idiot" could very well just mean "see you later, friend"
Ok man, I've been watching your martial arts videos for a while now, but I haven't probably watched your more religious/philosophical ones. Did you seriously say "the servants of Satan..."??? Please tell me you were joking. I mean, I knew you are religious but I used to think you were a rational person more or less Edit: damn, I watched a little bit more of the video and it seems you weren't joking. Still, hoping I'm somehow wrong. In case I am, sorry for unsubscribing but I don't enjoy lunacy. Good luck mate.
The members of the church of Satan and the Satanic temple don’t believe in Satan either- and their religion is still literally Satanic: the worship of self.
"All men are bad" is a meme and in my opinion not what "toxic masculinity" refers to. from wikipedia: "The concept of toxic masculinity is used in academic and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misogyny and homophobia, can be considered "toxic" due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. The socialization of boys in patriarchal societies often normalizes violence, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" about bullying and aggression." "toxic masculinity" does not imply that "all aspects of masculinity are toxic", it refers to aspects of masculinity that **can** (not necessarily **always do**) negatively impact men or those around them. The reason why these behaviors are tied specifically to masculinity is because they are often socially encouraged in boys but not in girls (though girls can also exhibit behaviors tied to toxic masculinity). For example I think interest in fighting is traditionally masculine--I have heard some trans men actually gain the urge to fight as they undergo hormone therapy, so it literally could be tied to testosterone--but as you often point out, martial arts is distinct from violence. Physical and sexual assault are disproportionately perpetrated by men (and often go unpunished in the case of sexual assault). Personally I think people focus way too much on gender, I'm not that interested in engaging with it whether masculine or feminine. I'd rather just do what I enjoy, like watch martial arts videos on youtube lol (not to say I don't appreciate these sorts of videos from your channel). I suppose it's fine to find pride in your gender, to me it becomes toxic when your pride comes at others' expense--physically, mentally, emotionally, economically. Gender has real consequences and women far too often get the short end of the stick. Like how in the US women were originally considered chattel, not humans with rights, and couldn't even vote until 1920; and women's ability to control a fundamental aspect of their own bodies is about to be overturned. For these and other reasons I'm proud to agree with feminism, and I do my best to listen and try to understand what women and feminists have to say about their experiences with gender. I don't think there's much good reason or need to feel threatened, it's no skin off my balls. Tune out the noise coming from toxic wokeists who perform outrage for validation.
Boys willl be boys - if you think about it, hokey is violence. Sports is what people in medical times did, except we managed to do it without killing each other. There's something about human race that likes violence ^^ Jst a fact. And people like watching it. American football/rugby is a thing yes lol
@@aurelianspodarec2629 I am referring to violence as related to another one of Ramsey's videos: th-cam.com/video/DjfzLjmTwgU/w-d-xo.html not "physical aggression". I watch a combat sports channel after all! I have nothing against nonlethal sports. I object to most violence in other forms (physical/sexual assault, war, arguably economic violence too but that's outside the scope of this conversation).
You're allowed to say `fucking` in comments you know ^^ Whats wrong with people scared to say the word, when they are saying the word anyway, with a dash or a star... we can still read it, might as well write it how its supposed to be written.
People don't call toxic masculine people "jerks" because not all jerks are examples of toxic masculinity. It's like saying "why are you calling it an Iphone, there's already a word for it, it's a phone" because you're denoting a particular type of phone, just like the phrase "toxic masculinity" is used to denote a particular type of jerk.
Toxic Masculinity doesn't exist, toxic personalities do... but not all toxic personalities are male or even masculine. Please stop pathologising men in a way that you would never do to women.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 I would absolutely do the same thing with a woman, toxic feminity exists so don't even try with that strawman. No one thinks toxic personalities are masculine, no one, what the phrase refers to is ideas on how men should act that are seen as harmful, essentially exaggerated negative masculine traits, it's not "man bad". It's also not meant to pathologise masculinity, the opposite in fact, it's supposed to promote healthy masculinity, whereas ignoring toxic forms of it makes young men more and more insecure. I like when Ramsey talks about MMA and martial arts generally because he knows very well what he's talking about, but when it comes to social and political issues, he just sounds like a rabid evangelical.
I half agree on this video. My definition of toxic masculinity includes societal expections that men are pressured to conform to. This includes the notion that men can't be victims or the stereotype that men "should" be big and strong (I say this as a 240lb powerlifter lol). I think Ramsey and alot of the poeple responding positively to the rhetoric of this video would find common ground with leftists and intersectional feminists instead of the liberals and conservatives that love to weaponize identity politics (yes, conservatives do it too). Let's not forgot that Goerge Orwell, the writer of 1984, was a socialist.
"My definition of toxic masculinity includes societal expections that men are pressured to conform to." Yeah. . . like r@pist. "This includes the notion that men can't be victims or the stereotype that men "should" be big and strong (I say this as a 240lb powerlifter lol)." No no no. . . it's not that men _can't be_ victims, it's that you're _actively hated_ for making clear the existence of male suffering. "I think Ramsey and alot of the poeple responding positively to the rhetoric of this video would find common ground with leftists and intersectional feminists instead" Feminists didn't cause the problems men are suffering from. They did, however, exacerbate and take advantage of them. Feminists (gender-communists) are the ones who lobby against male domestic violence shelters. Feminists are the ones who invented the Duluth model of domestic violence. Feminists are the ones who have assured there is almost zero public assistance for male victims of any kind. It's why they will, _literally_ start singing _Cry Me a River_ when you try to talk to them about male self-deletion. We've been fighting the battle against feminism for the right to be recognized as human beings capable of suffering for so fucking long now that the only reaction I can conjure to a claim like this is to just laugh. "instead of the liberals and conservatives that love to weaponize identity politics (yes, conservatives do it too)." Conservatives aren't much better on men's rights than the Democrats are. The only politician who did _anything_ positive for men in living memory is Donald Trump, who appointed a Secretary of Education who raised the standards of evidence for Title IX accusations from 'preponderance' to 'clear and convincing.' Would you like to hear what the feminist response to that was? They sent out a bunch of letters to teacher's unions, which then forwarded those letters to students, faculty, and staff in schools, screeching about how women's rights are under attack. "Let's not forgot that Goerge Orwell, the writer of 1984, was also a socialist." Yes, he was. . . for a time. He did not remain a socialist, and eventually (even before writing the novel in question here) abandoned his socialist beliefs, because he realized that socialists were insane and evil. Read _Road to Wigan Pier_ .
@@anthonywestbrook2155 I barely use the word "toxic masculinity". In general, I just push for the abolishment of gender roles. Let poeple do what they want, dress like they want, be who they want. Maximize freedom, minimize harm.
@@lurkingposter while I understand your perspective here, I think we should amplify or discover/uncover the essence (philosophically, even spiritually) & meaning of both genders. Let's not avoid the fight. Let's explore masculinity in its purest and truest forms. Same with feminism. Maybe if we did that more, we could have fewer people so traumatized and vested in their/our opinion of what genders are/should be, that they ACTUALLY alter their Earth-space suit - bodies - to fit false/ fake/ true/ I don't know (twisted?) perception of who they are inside. I am of the personal opinion that the LGBTQ is a reflection of our failure as a society and culture at the cultivation of the essences of true masculinity and true femininity... Just a thought. I wonder what Ramsey thinks of the LGBTQ community? 🤔
A lot of people misunderstand the nature of the changes to language made in 1984. They didn't just alter the meanings of words but they took away words and the concepts attached to them so unwanted ideas could not easily be discussed or even considered. I know we can understand concepts we don't have a word for, but it's more difficult to think about them in detail when we can't define them, and it becomes even more difficult to explain them to other people. Although languages always change, I don't think the world has ever seen something like what is now happening to the English language, because the world has never been in a state anything like the current state, at any point in the past. Shakespeare and others adding thousands of words to English to enable us to easily describe things we previously couldn't has little in common with a lot of people failing to understand words and insisting on misusing them anyway. A lot of people have no idea what words such as "epic" or "literally" actually mean, and in the case of the latter a lot of people will say something is literal when it's actually clearly figurative, hence they use the word as though it meant the opposite to its actual meaning. I remember Joe Rogan once saying "we changed the meaning of 'literally'" but I would argue that he is wrong and that what actually happened is that all meaning was taken away from it. When somebody says "you literally said that," it's no different at all to them saying "you said that", but it shows us they really want you to believe them but they lack the vocabulary to add emphasis in any meaningful way. I think this is harmful and makes the language much poorer and that it reduces our ability to communicate intricate ideas to one another. Of course, this matters less because a lot of people, especially the type who accuse others of "toxic masculinity" don't actually intend to communicate when they use words and only really want to hear themselves say certain words that vaguely signal of virtues it is demanded we must be seen to possess. I believe the corrosion of English has very much to do with the corrosion of thought and the increase of overreaction and even hysteria. I am not trying to change the way anybody speaks and I am not condemning anybody for their choice of words. I believe the education system in the UK, where I live, is suffering horribly and was not very good when I was at school, in the 1980s. I don't wish to compel anybody else to agree with me. If anybody had the time to spare to read this far then I thank you. :D
100% The Ministry of Thought did not come up with new words and concepts to help us talk about things and learn. They abridged language in order to limit thought. Stamping out terms like toxic masculinity, feminism, etc is exactly what Orwell warned us about.
Thank you for bringing up circumcision. I feel saddened every time a friend allows this barbaric ritual to be performed on his newborn. I pray that fewer and fewer people do this to their blessed children, who came into this world perfect and do not need any modification.
What are your views on the Problem of Evil? How much do you agree or disagree with this quote?: “What a lamentable thing it is that men should blame the gods and regard us as the source of their troubles, when it is their own transgressions which bring them suffering that was not their destiny.”
I dont think Toxic Masculinity as a term is really meant to refer to all Men. It was a term used in feminist literature to describe behaviors that are encouraged in men, literally toxic expressions of masculinity. I agree it's definitely been coopted and overused in context that arent really appropriate, especially online, but the Verbage is perfectly descriptive. Academic literature isnt about power dynamics, even when people online try to use it to sound smart. The actual theory in its context is perfectly valid. But dude you literally do the thing you decry here in the video: Its really easy to Call Anything you dont like Satanic and then go to any extreme to discredit them.
Yup completely agree, Ramsay is pretty off here. Most of the comments here are also overgeneralizing and spouting rhetoric that isn’t even reflective of the real world. Yes there are extremists but most people aren’t that.
but it's not 'literally toxic', 'toxic' is obviously a metaphor meaning something is poisonous - and poisonous to what? When you examine what's always implicit in use of this term, you see there's nothing radical about it and it really just serves the conventional morality of late capitalism ie. the status quo. There's a reason everything from corporate media to the fucking CIA public relations has lapped all this jargon up, that in itself is enough to give any thinking person pause for thought
feminism and marxist ideologies and their offshoots are toxic and idiotic, not meant to help anyone, but rather to divide people for easier control, which works well.
You're the 1st guy I came across on yt that didn't mock the issue, but instead gave great arguments towards why you think that this wording of things is a problem. I love that you managed to bring in the symbolics (and point) of christianity here. Religion can be awesome when done with a cool head and a sense of rationality. Good stuff. You seem smart, but more importantly, you seem really wise. Thank you for this.
I’ve seen TH-cam comments calling the helicopter locker room banter scene in Predator “Toxic Masculinity”. I’m sorry, but Pancho saying “strap this on your sore ass Blaine” with Billy laughing will always be a favorite of mine.
It's a good illustration of the artificial restrictions that some people can put on their rational approach to life - if you asked for input from your coach as to what you did wrong in a bout that you just lost, would you rather hear something like: "Well, you didn't really fully commit to your takedown attempts, which is why most of them didn't work, and you didn't keep your hands tight enough, or change levels enough, with your standup." or "Sorry, kid, he just had Satan on his side and God didn't want you to win that one". Many people CAN otherwise be very rational - but not in areas where they've had rationality conditioned out of them.
As soon as I saw the phrase "satanic Orwellian Newspeak" I knew that "Orwellian Newspeak" was about to be used to describe the very opposite of what Orwell was trying to highlight. I thought this guy was going to use "satanic" in a metaphorical sense alluding to it being simply "bad" in his eyes. I'd even began to write my comment thinking that. This then suddenly took a hard turn into full on conspiracy theory territory. You put it pretty concisely however.
@@lsedge7280 - Yeah, the idea that "toxicity" and "masculinity" are somehow polar opposites, being jammed together in some kind of "Orwellian" doublethink - instead of toxic masculinity simply being a negative subcategory of masculine behavior - is a huge reach here. Orwell was, of course, criticizing attempts at reducing shades of meaning/delineation within language, which is the opposite of distinguishing toxic masculinity from masculine behavior in general. Religion, or at least religious fundamentalism, is really the only area in society where irrational thinking can't be criticized. Archie Bunker had it pegged a long time ago: th-cam.com/video/Te3aBL_P0IY/w-d-xo.html
@@Malt454 absolutely 100%. As someone else said, "toxic tap water" clearly refers to a subset of tapwater that is also toxic, and is not a statement that all tapwater is toxic. His denouncement of new words and decision on a "right way" to use language is also the very thing occurring as oppression in 1984. He seems to almost realise this too which is most baffling as he goes on to say how the English language has and does change, but then when we get to the present day he takes a hard left veer into conspiracy theories!
@@lsedge7280 - Yes, it's pretty disappointing - even more so in the case of Ramsey, who I respect on other subjects - that people have to willfully misinterpret language in order to manufacture a "cause" so as to then claim "victim status" over it. The "toxic tap water" thing is the clearest illustration I've seen yet of how the logic used here is deeply, even intentionally, flawed - thanks.
@@Malt454 Absolutely. It sounds like you have seen more of Ramsey than I, so you can undoubtedly comment how good he is in other videos. I found his channel via his Mr Miyagi video because I was trying to find someone to put into words how I felt about the merits/limitations of Miyagi as a mentor character in the film (vs other film mentors) with reference to real world martial arts teaching techniques I've encountered. That video seemed pretty good although it did overlook that there are a few circumstances where you need to teach something but explicitly don't want to have the student know the reason yet (useful in teaching martial arts to young kids, as some moves are vital to learn the movements too, but somewhat too dangerous to be providing the context for to a kid). That said, I don't think I could watch Ramsey's videos going forward, given I can't justify supporting him if this is the sort of mindset he holds. Thankfully there's a lot of exceptional martial artists with far healthier mindsets and world views.
Hey ramsey question for you Ive been having a troubling time lately with myself Ive always loved martial arts as a kid But ive always been socially awkward meeting new people, im a father of 2 and im 32 and im worried im gonna pass these traits on to my children I still would like to join a martial arts gym but the fear of being in a crowd just always puts me off. My daughter is turning 3 so in the next couple years id be looking to join her in a bjj school but i feel like i will have to take the leap first to inspire her .... I dunno man ive been dealing with this for most of my life, maybe an inspirational video of your take on all this will help me take control of this hinderince in my life ... Thanks man love the videos
Honestly man, I was in counseling for three years for pretty severe social anxiety. I have for the most part gotten over it thanks to a good counselor who taught me great strategies for overcoming it. I’m still never 100% okay with training at my gym because I’m not a bro-ey kinda guy and fight gyms attract this type. Not that they are bad people, I just don’t relate to them a lot so were always kinda distant to each other. But ya, my point is that you should seek professional help if possible and not feel ashamed to do so. Social anxiety sucks and it can really kneecap your ability to enjoy life.
Just join the gym and keep showing up. Your confidence will grow as you become more comfortable in using your body in a group of people walking the same journey you are. You might even discover things about your persona you didn’t even know where there. Just get out there and train.
I absolutely love this channel and what you stand for! It's very important to train body AND mind, loads of people have a strong body but their mind has fallen pray to all sorts of propaganda.
I was working up in the mountains before i listened to this. I do retail resets. I was reseting the laundry isle and the other isle over is arts and crafts. I walked by that isle and two very large, very strong, bearded mountain men were shopping. I thought little of it. A little while later i heard one man say to the other, "Let's go full arts and craft." I peeked around the isle, looked at the two men and insulted their bearded manhood "Did you just say Let's go full arts and craft?" One said, "We're shopping for mother's day, got to get stuff for the kids." My bullshit was already defeated, but then the other said, "We're trying to get laid." My effort to reject their beard cards was completely stuffed. I thought of Ramsey Dewey and his ideas on the pathologizing men. Then i thought that even when men are engaging behavior that isn't very sterotypically manly they are still men. Happy, engaged kids equal happy wife. Happy wife equals sex which equals happy man. I've personally said that one issue i have with some of my drag queen and transgender friends is that when they engage sterotypically female behavior they think it means they are female rather than realize that this behavior exists in men and is therefore also a masculine behavior. As i contemplated all of this i found this video in my feed. The irony. Now i don't really feel bad about joking with those guys cause more than anything i was trying to make them laugh and they did, but still it left me thinking. I could say that i was stereotyping a men into a narrow set of acceptable behaviors and that is an aspect of pathologizing men. But i could also say that i was giving other men shit so we can all have a laugh and that is one of the best traits of men. The ability to laugh at shit and the desire to make others laugh. I am no fan of New Speak. I see in it all that you see in it. I despise the term Toxic Masculinity and found this video both brilliant and honest. I'm shocked that you can make such a video while living in China. It shows something about the reality of China that we don't see state side. Having said all that, Ramsey, you are a British American Westerner who lives in China and you are part of a community that is going to give a degree of shit. Being called a communist is inevitable aspect of this community's love. But after this video i can no longer call your cowboy hat communistic. Your cowboy hat is clearly a 100% freedom loving American. Much love, thank you for provoking so much thought.
There is something very specific and slightly complicated about this topic that I feel as a gay veteran, Christian+ many other aspects of numerous religions I've Jeet Kune Do'd into my own set of beliefs. It's a spectrum just like a lot things, the ancient Egyptians and really most ancient cultures believed that a balance between the masculine and feminine energies was closer to who we are meant to be. As he said there is a "toxic masculinity" known as bullies or simply oppressors. Real men, true men, stand up for the weak and help them become strong. Confucianism states one should be educated, artistic, compassionate, and lethal.. a balance. Jesus teaches to stand against tyranny with sword in hand, to sell your cloak and buy a sword, that if a thief comes in the night to protect thyself and if need be kill but if during the day AND are only their for your possessions to let them have them, for they are in a worse spot than you. He also preaches to Live in Love. In all that you see, in all that you do and experience live in Love. It is a powerful frequency 528hz currently used for DNA repair, and yet the emotion of love is the same; 528hz the heart Chakra. Empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, but a spine to put forth what's right and true. Matt 21 12-13 Jesus drove people out of the house of God and flipped tables and seats because they were using it as a market place! I appreciate that you call it as it is instead of walking on eggshells. The only way out of this global crisis and I mean people not having running water and food or infrastructure and so on... is if we collectively decide to move beyond, like he said self fulfilling prophecy. We are a giant electromagnet WE LITERALLY ATTRACT OUR REALITY!!! We must decide to overcome and move beyond the war of our fathers into understanding we all share a dream of prosperity and happiness for ourselves and our loved ones. That's everyone on this planet and if we realize that if we worked together it could be easily done and a dream come true..
If you think a word like toxic masculinity is Orwellian, then you don't know anything about George Orwell George Orwell wrote 1984 about the BBC news company, a company he worked for as a journalist, specifically during WWII. For a bit of background, George Orwell volunteered as a British man to fight in the Spanish Civil War on the side of the Socialists/Anarchists where he fought and killed facists until he was eventually shot in the neck by a sniper and went back home. During the war, he developed an extreme hatred both for authoritarians and what he called Stalinists from Russia who he saw as equally evil to the people he was there to fight (a hatred later expressed in Animal Farm). Once he came home, he recognized that same spark of authoritarianism in his own home country and government and wrote 1984 as a warning against how media and propaganda were being used to control and subdue his countrymen for the purpose of perpetual war and ideological terror and control. Specific to Newspeak, the intentional dumbing down of the English language is expressly said by George Orwell in his essay "Politics and the English Language" to be a tool specifically for the purpose of selling war to people who do not understand it or cannot imagine it. This sterilized speech was the kind of thing George was forced to publish when he worked for the BBC and he was sickened by the machinations of his government to make war more palatable to its citizens, and that was coming from a man who volunteered to fight in a war. I imagine that George would absolutely love a phrase like toxic masculinity, specifically because of its imagery and emotional nature. Ironically, in your insistence that the word toxic and masculine not be used together due to their inflammatory nature, you come much closer to inventing your very own newspeak than you realize. Still don't believe me? Here is a section from 1984 where the main character, who lives in this completely dystopian world, perfectly demonstrating an attitude of toxic masculinity. "He hated her because she was young and pretty and sexless, because he wanted to go to bed with her and would never do so, because round her sweet supple waist, which seemed to ask to encircle it with your arm, there was only the odious scarlet sash, aggressive symbol of chastity."
On the subject of words that mean everything you want them to: I've uttered "Osu" when I entered a dojo, left said dojo, took a good hit while sparring, acknowledged understanding of an instruction, dropped something heavy on my toe, psyched myself up for a set of bench presses, accepted a package from the mailman and I'm sure i've forgotten a number of situations.
this is so true what you said, Masculinity is what the world needs, especially nowadays, i like that stare you give in the camera to show you really mean what u said, and i believe firmly feminism is just about dividing and weakening society.
So what about men who don't want to follow your idea of what "masculine" means? Feminism was a movement by women against how society thinks women should behave. In a way, "toxic masculinity" and "feminism" are indeed both ways of dividing society, between those who want a "traditional society" and those who don't want to be bound by traditions. Personally, I think all societies need that kind of division, because a society that enforces unity and "strength" through tradition, religion, political ideology or whatever is way worse.
@@dukebanerjee4710 You cannot fight reality, objectivity and biology. Any culture that downplays masculinity and confuses gender roles will eventually be wiped out and overtaken by a stronger civilization that believes the opposits. This cycle is not new and always repeats itself. No matriarchy can resist the test of time to even build a statue.
@@dukebanerjee4710 wtf did i say about "my idea of being masculine"? being a MAN is not an idea that changes, being a man is 1-providing (working) 2-protect(your own integrity and of the ones around you) 3-not being a degenerate.
@@Flex4LXBiology has nothing to do with gender roles, except in primitive societies which have not developed specialization of labor, where biology plays a critical role in survival. I'm personally thankful that modern societies have move past the limitations of biology, because I'm blind as a bat without contact lenses, and I'd be dead in a primitive society. Masculinity is not being downplayed when people are not pressuered follow rigid gender roles, any more than accepting gay marriage downplays traditional marriage. Also, your idea of societies that accept rigid gender roles as somehow having better survival characteristics kind of flies in the face of objective reality. When I think of societies with rigid gender roles, I think of Islamic states or Victorian England. Intolerance of gender diversity seems to follow other repressive social conditions, which leads to social unrest. The consequence is more repression (Islamic states) or revolution (England isn't what it used to be).
@@thomaskunz3089 So a man isn't a man if he's not a provider? What about situations where the wife makes way more money than the man, and it makes more financial sense for the husband to be a stay at home dad? Should a man who makes this choice be ruthlessly mocked by society?
I'm gonna leave this comment, then leave another at the end of the video. My first impression: masculinity and femininity are both illusions, with the exception of the influence of hormones. When I see people saying "toxic masculinity" what I hear is that a person wrongly identifies abusive behavior as "masculine." And they identify submissive behavior as "feminine." Personally, I've never met a single person who doesn't have both "masculine" and "feminine" qualities. Men and women don't have different personality types. Indoctrination by tradition is the most likely culprit for this huge misunderstanding of the human condition.
The differences between males and females, is FAR more than mere Hormones. Our very biology.. down to our reproductive organs, and Brains... are different. We think, feel and act, differently... due to these differences. Its not the traditionalist that have the problem. Its the radical "Progressives", that have a problem accepting such Factual Data.
Ramsey, I want you to know you're the only overtly religious person I'm subscribed to on TH-cam. You do an excellent job of facing the darkness, and I think that may be the reason you're so down to Earth and realistic with your interpretations of the Bible.
Toxic masculinity refers to people insecure in their own masculinity who then use their perceived notions of masculinity they got from growing up to make themselves feel better about their situation. Masculinity isn't the issue. It's the people who take it to the extreme and make asses of themselves, thus making it toxic. Thank you for the video!
no it is a term used to try and make men socially undesirable and try and force a change in behavior. It is nothing but social politics. Completely subjective drivel and namecalling.
toxicfemininity is way more of an issue theses days. insecure women constantly showing their bodies on the internet. This empowerment of women giving them this false belief of strength. All these movies brainwashing them to think they're superheroes. a cocky man cannot be considered toxic. other men like to sit in the shadows and other men like to sit in the sun. those who sit in the shadows are ashamed of themselves so they stay quiet. who knows what they've done.
It is applied to aspects of behavior that are no more "male" in character then they are "female". It is also frequently apllied to non toxic masculine behaviours.. It's a crap concept applied poorly and unevenly. Ramsey is 100% correct to tear it a new one.
@@jex5463 the study is a waste of time since it does nothing to help it just creates more labels to ease into more discrimination, etc. It is ridiculous and a field full of people that might have wasted a lot of money on a useless degree and now they want their money's worth even if it means scamming the world and trying to convince others of the importance. Different from Ramsey it is the same nonsense the church pulls acting like their are people with a higher authority on which subjective stuff should be considered objective by everyone else. It doesn't hold true outside the human mind. All human behavior is natural human behavior. Even this ridiculous social gaming that a lot of people do. I prefer actual concrete and workable information. And I'll decide for me what means what and what should be impportant.
A lot of the time I hear people arguing, they don’t know what they’re arguing about. The points they are making don’t disprove the other persons claims and they don’t know what the other person thinks, nor why they think it
Hey Ramsey Dewey in Shanghai, China, My new kickboxing coach teaches us low kicks which are basically snap kicks, and hitting with the instep instead of the shin. What do you think about this ?
“Why does language evolve over time?! I want language to stay the same forever!” It’s not some Orwellian conspiracy that people are changing the definition of things. As humans evolve, our words adopt new meanings. Times change. Languages change. It’s a normal thing, not some conspiracy by the woke people. This makes me think of that meme, “the left wants to take away your penis.” The cowardly things that some men do to bully people are incorrectly taught as being acceptable behavior BECAUSE it’s incorrectly conflated with masculine behavior. And in most civilizations, men>women, so masculine=good. So you get aspects of masculinity that are, first of all, very harmful; that also shouldn’t be considered as masculinity in the first place. Those things would be examples of toxic masculinity.
Yes, but "toxic masculinity" is too vague a phrase. I'm not convinced so general a term that may conflate being a man with being toxic, is helpful. It's not the innate state of men we must steel ourselves against, or some sort of original sin we must redeem ourselves from. If we want to change behaviour we must be able to clearly state what that behaviour is and not use a term which could mean anything you want it to mean.
@@BiggityBoggity8095 I did that and I may be wrong but, "Attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated or expected of men and regarded as having a negative impact" sounds fairly vague and imprecise to me.
OK, so I get saying the term "toxic masculinity" is meant to trigger a response. You can use jerk, a**hole, womanizer, and whatever else. I do got a problem with you believing that some satanic conspiracy is behind everything. Are you mentally ok, I mean that doesn't even sound like you man. I have never once heard you talk like that and it is concerning. You have mentioned your religious beliefs before and that is fine, but what was that?
@@RamseyDewey I get that, I know you are talking about the meaning of words. How words can divide people. To start calling the manipulation of words a satanic conspiracy though actually sounds like some of my mental health clients. I worked in mental health off and on throughout my life and hearing that just brings about concerns. Also, another point you made, what school of feminism are you saying is evil? There are different schools of thought when comes to that ideology and making a generalization doesn't do it justice?
Hi Ramsey, I highly appreciate your views, and learn a lot from the inner discourse I have with you thanks to your videos. On the occasion of this video's topic for example, to not view masculine attributes as toxic, but as potentially valuable, and to positively identify for example with my strength and aggression. However, this particular video twists my mind, and I don't agree with your view, because I understand the word combination "toxic masculinity" not as saying "masculine attributes are toxic (all and in general)", although I agree that it rings that bell (and it did for me). But now I understand "toxic" as an adjective stating that the excess execution of masculine attributes such as strength and aggression has the potential to become harmful. Like any other attributes if applied compulsory can become toxic (maybe we'll even find a meaning in your example of "toxic blackness" along this line of thinking). From this viewpoint, your video appears like a long and overly aggressive rant against sophism - man must fight back-style ;) but also missing an aspect that has become important to me to understand certain tendencies in a world of increasing aggression. Hey, just my five cents ;)
It's true that "toxic masculinity" is often used disingenuously, but I still think it's a valid term to describe a person using masculine traits in a toxic manner. And, when it comes to circumcision, please do cite sources or something reliable. Exposing myself a bit... I did have that surgery as an adult, by choice, and I do not regret it one bit, it has only given me benefits. Aesthetically, I do not think it looks better or worse, it looks only different. And it has also been "battle tested", with 0 female complaints. I remember researching a bit before the surgery, and I did find some medical controversy, but most of what I found at the time was positive.
its removal was put there to hurt people to control them by using pain to condition them. if that doesn't tell you it's bad, then not much will. As for females, the foreskin acts as a lubricant would, making sex easier. and increasing slightly the girth, which is very important to female enjoyment. it also makes sex better for yourself, as over time, without the foreskin, the glans desensitises significantly. i've slept with several girls that have a previous partner count over 50, and on most occasions been the only uncut man they've been with. all of them without prompting of any sort said it was the best they had and it felt better, this wasn't to do with size really, i'm higher than average, but 6 inches isn't pornstar material. I also have no trouble getting anal sex, presumeably the foreskin lubricates and lowers impact in that department too. in fact, every girl even told me she enjoyed it for the first time. I want to think that maybe i'm just good and considerate in bed, but there is a strong chance remaining intact has strongly impacted these results. as for cleanliness, you wash it when you shower. simple.
Why is it used often disingenously though? why is it called toxic masculinity specifically.....? They did not call it harmfull gender norms, this was not a one off phrase in an article. Its a bona fide expression used only for men. Why was it necessary to focus something that affects both genders only on men? When we see a woman lie about loving a man for his money we call her a gold digger, we do not say toxic femininity. There is no phrase toxic femininity in the public zeitgeist, so why is it that when the idea is applied to women it is framed as a societal problem but when the idea is applied to men its is treated as toxic.....? We all understand the idea itself, its the name that is being called into question as well as the use of the idea without context to put down men. Imagine calling ice
@@aikenodubitan5256 Yeah but people will stop buying roses if they were called shit sticks or cancer blooms. They will buy other flowers with better sounding names and roses will stop being popular and well loved. Names and titles effect how we interact with a thing. A noble may be less powerfull and influential than a merchant but people will give the noble more respect simply because of the title. You are nigerian so you should think about why people need to call out their titles all the time at events (chief, dr, engineer, businessman etc.) Its because other Nigerians will give them more respect for that title even if that title has nothing to do with the event at hand.
Hard disagree with the framing of the question and response. I agree insofar as that getting caught into semantic debates where you lose *meaning* are pointless. I also agree some terms become so inflammatory that they are not productive words to use in a conversation. I disagree that 'toxic masculinity' is this in every context. I'm not going to argue that the word is used well and constructively all the time. But because language is a contextual thing, 'toxic masculinity' is not a toxic phrase inherently. In fact when I've used it to refer to the pathology of male victimhood, telling men they aren't allowed to share feelings, that they just have to 'man up' and take it instead of being able to express themselves fully **this** is what I've considered to be 'toxic masculinity'. The truly toxic traits that are associated with masculinity that we take for granted, that we could *remove* from positive masculinity. Conversely 'positive' masculinity, i.e. sharing in feelings in a brotherly way and building bonds of friendship that allow for expression. Striving for strength for the sake of being the best you can be to those you care about. These are things that should be celebrated. I have not seen the term toxic masculinity to degrade these things (I'm not denying that some might use it that way). It is not orwellian newspeak to delineate between positive and negative (toxic) stereotypical masculine traits. If the word is only used like that, I'm against it's use but I've never felt the term used to only degrade men (as a man myself) and this is not because I haven't reflected on the meaning of the word. I think Ramsey Dewey here is a bit uncharitable to how others use the word. If you include and *emphasize* the existence and *importance* of positive masculinity I don't see the problem? Likewise with profanity, I avoid it myself; but profanity *does* have a proper use. The emphasis profanity provides dies when you over use it, but there is a time and a place when someone who never swears does and it leaves an impact because of how out of place it seems. I'll also bite the bullet on 'toxic blackness', 'toxic chineseness' or whatever you might have. I'll agree that the phrasing is inflammatory, but the concept of toxic cultural chinese family values for example? They certainly exist and I've felt them firsthand. You'll find aspects of every culture that are toxic. The important thing is to not generalize people to only the toxic aspects.
No, it's not. "Toxic masulinity" is about traits that are commonly associated with male's. It's a sociological construct, useful to describe certain behavior that is found (mostly) in Men. That has nothing to do with demonising Male's in general, since being male is not confined to having a certain sets of traits, is it? So...should there be a term like "toxic femininity"? Sure, and we all know what that could look like: Overly passive and pleasing, focussed on looks rather than intelligence, and so on. BUT the thing is, at the end of the day, Male's who engage in toxic behavior are usually more dangerous to others. Oh and by the way it's not only about aggressivness, the term also describes male's who, for example, drink to much because they never learned to properly adress their feelings or think they need to prove their worth by living especially dangerous lives. No one says you can't enjoy fighting with someone who chose to meet you in the ring, who's trained etc. But the question remains, (which can only be answered by everyone for themself): Why do you enjoy it? What made you choose this specific sport?
Ehhh, I think there’s some credence with the term “toxic masculinity”, simply meaning negative behaviours associated with the traditional idea of being “masculine”. (For e.g. the myth that fathers can’t be loving, the idea that men can’t show their emotions, etc). It’s not an attack on masculinity as a whole, and it’s not to say masculinity isn’t essential in society. I think a lot of people misinterpret the word to mean “all masculinity is toxic”
Sophistry isn't an argument. "Toxic masculinity" is applied to aspects of behavior that are no more "male" in character then they are "female". It is also frequently apllied to non toxic, stereotypically masculine behaviours. It's a crap concept applied poorly and unevenly. Ramsey is 100% correct to tear it a new one.
@@bandit6272 if people around you are applying “toxic mascunltiy” to behaviours that are inherently more male then female, then they are misusing the term. That’s more a problem with some of the people who use the term than an issue with the term itself. I’m personally glad some aspects of “traditional masculinity” are considered to be toxic. I’m glad men are able to share their emotions and open up about mental health without being stigmatised for example
@@averagegoslingenthusiast2033 What aspects of "traditional masculinity" do you think are toxic, and how are those behaviors male in character instead of human in character?
@@averagegoslingenthusiast2033 I agree with your example, but why consider it masculine? And if such behavior is masculine, what about toxic femininity?
Is there a grammar misunderstanding here? The word toxic in that phrase is a qualifier that reduces the scope of the thing being condemned. It means macho behaviour this is also toxic. It's not labelling ALL masculine acts or all men as toxic per se. Opening car doors for women is traditionally masculine, but it's just polite. It's not toxic and it's not patronising. Only the most earnest and contentious women would object to it. If we change things because of the angriest 1% people will keep using fake anger to win society-wide arguments.
I can say from my personal experience, when I rejected stereotypical ‘masculinity’, I was at my most depressed. I was a very un masculine teenager (physically unfit, afraid of any kind of confrontation, anxious etc.) until I picked up boxing. All of a sudden I was surrounded by a band of men who valued strength and we all pulled each other up. Masculinity is not toxic, it’s necessary.
"Toxic masculinity" is only part of the equation. Its opposite is "healthy masculinity". Naturally, only "toxic masculinity" became a buzz phrase, and should not be used colloquially - it isn't without controversy even in academic circles, but when lay people use it it becomes little different from amateurs diagnosing people as "psychopaths".
this is not about "masculinity" but about COMMUNITY.... do you get it? can you understand this simple misconception in your thought? that it is COMMUNITY that you were seeking and lacking. it could be any hobby club/community of likeminded people. that is why there are religions and societies, because of this deep yearning of community
so don't mistake that for "masculinity" or don't mistake "masculinity" with the will to bodily development or physicality, because these are just aspects of human existence ALL genders experience. It's not unique to masculinity. And you know: the drive to community and masculine projection was systematically exploited by every corrupt society. a prime example of toxic masculine cults would be THE HITLER YOUTH but also todays american "warrior cult"
@@mynameismynameis666 You just tripped up in your own narrative and ideological porridge.
You instantly put together the community and "MASCULINE PROJECTION", before putting some more "toxic masculinity" label material on it and associating it to being nazis.
@@dusk6159 so the nazis were not a cult of toxic masculinity? looking forward to your nazi/toxic masculinity justifiying mental gymnastics... indulge me...
Facts my man. We need brotherhood.
I agree. Masculinity Is not toxic. Femininity is not toxic. Behaviors can be toxic. Individuals can be toxic.
Cultures can be toxic too.
the entirety of leftism is toxic
Agreed, but it doesn't mean there cannot be a toxic version/interpretation of both masculinity or femininity. One could even argue that "Toxic femininity" is what Ramsey is referring to when he mentions Feminism in this video, right?
@@DaitoryuBlog this is correct. To just dismiss the fact the fact that some people adhere to archaic or flawed ideas of their gender is to be extremely myopic.
@@TheSquad4life I don't know whether it's a matter of vision or of visibility. Some facets are just not made all that clear depending on where you come from. And it's not like the spearheading of the issue hasn't been piggybacked by some nasty self-important people either, unfortunately.
I find it best to stay courteous, composed, and engaging, personally. Those are just thoughts after all.
"Satan is trying to feed you poop sandwiches. Everything in there is good except the poop!" - Ramsey Dewey.
Wait until he starts talking to you about your gut biome and that eating shit is actually good for you.
@@ericdale4641 I was informed a few months ago that fecal transplants are a thing. When someone's gut biome is significantly damaged, introducing bacteria from someone else's colon... By way of putting someone else's poop in your colon... Can be helpful to restore it.
Important topic, men need to be okay with being men. Masculinity is beautiful and should be praised, not demonised. Bad traits should not be associated with masculinity. It's more a problem with the term than anything.
No one is demonizing it fam. Literally no one is. People just misinterpret it and then spread misinformation
Yes they shouldn't be associated with masculinity. The problem is too many people push those bad traits as being masculine, often because they were brought up that way, and use their "masculinity" as an excuse for acting that way.
Everyone should be okay with being who they are, as long they don't hurt others.
@I Coroa That is a completely separate argument. The point of the discussion of masculinity, and my comment, is regarding behavior within human society. Ecological impact has absolutely nothing to do with it.
@I Coroa If you think it does, the y we're talking pretty much separate languages and nothing that I say will go through. Have a good one.
We need more cat puns: some Judo throws: Tomo-Nya-gi, Uchi-Meow-Ta, Meow Goshi, U-Kitty- Goshi, Hisser Garuma, sorry... I'll stop now. Sorry.
And they all start off from Hu-Meow-Kata 😂
ippon meownage
Amazing
O-Meowy Gari
I'm not an Martial artist myself but I keep coming back to your channel. I really appreciate your wisdom and common sense, Ramsey
This is the channel of a philosopher who happens to practice and teach martial arts.
11:28
Words matter a great deal, a great sentiment.
I would like to add a corollary: Be careful around people who are trying to convince you that the words don't matter - especially if they're trying to get you to change the words YOU use.
Why is it the people who insist that it's "not such a big deal" to change my language are fighting tooth and claw to get me to do so?
Except for the fact that the people you’re fearmongering against are the first ones to claim that words actually matter, that’s why they’re criticizing certain terms in the first place. It’s people on your side of the aisle who claim that words don’t matter so everyone should say whatever they want.
@@hairyshoulders5866 you don't know what side of the aisle I'm on, friend. I was agreeing with a general statement, not a political ideology.
I appreciate your thoughts on this. There's nothing wrong with being a man and masculine. It's never ok to be a jerk, bully or womanizer. I agree that we don't need a new term to characterize these things.
Disagree. Its never okay to be a bully, but bullying will always exist and have its place in the world too to overcome.
As for being a womanizer. Theres nothing wrong with that. If a man is a womanizer thats none of my business and being a womanizer doesnt do anyone any harm
Hard disagree on the womanizer bit. I was never attractive to women _until_ I started acting like a womanizer. You need to have a certain amount of asshole in your personality mix, or be able to convincingly fake it, if you want to attract women. Ask me how I know.
@@stupidanon5941 I promise you not every womanizer is an asshole. Often its certain character traits that an asshole would have that women like. Not being mr nice guy, knowing what you want. Not putting women on a pedestal etc.
That doesnt mean you have to be an asshole to get women Lol
@@stupidanon5941 disagree
Depends on what he means by womanizer.
Ask right back, "what about 'toxic femininity'?"
If they act like there's no such thing, you're talking a walking double standard, and probably shouldn't take them seriously.
But... There IS toxic feminity, just as there is toxic masculinity.
Who says there isnt? It's discussed a lot, like women that are misogynistic and bitchy and manipulative and always competing for attention. It's discussed as much as this, just diff semantics.
How about they "take toxic femininity seriously" but say toxic femininity isn't as bad as toxic masculinity, and that toxic masculinity is a bigger problem that needs to be solved first?
That's when you know they are arguing in bad faith.
They don't actually care about stopping toxic behavior.
They just don't like men being men and will use the buzzword "toxic masculinity" to try and shut down any argument and bend male behavior to thier whim.
Yeah but that term is as stupid as toxic masculinity, how about just recgonizing our differences and be the best version of ourselves we can be. Yes certain bad traits can be more common in each gender, but we shouldn't associate every bad trait with the gender. That's dangerous.
Four comments and none of them appear? C'mon youtube, get your shit together.
Note that "toxic" is the active part of "toxic masculinity". Masculinity is fine. Toxic masculinity not so. Toxic masculinity is what leads us to try to enforce our authority over out families with our fists. Non-toxic, normal masculinity, is what leads us to protect our families from outside aggression. Toxic masculinity makes us insensitive to the pain of others as well as to our own pain, to the point that we traumatise others or ignore injury, illness or mental trauma in ourselves and fail to seek help until something falls apart. My father had a friend, Tom Cosgrove, a builder, who ignored the pain in his belly, thinking that to be a man you did not let on when you were hurt, until he collapsed while on vacation in Ireland. His stomach cancer, hitherto undiagnosed because he had not sought help, had got to the point where it was inoperable & he was given a couple of weeks to live. He was a tough guy though. He hung in there for another 2 months. Now, he wasn't toxic in the way that a wife-beater is toxic - his toxicity was turned inwards. He had so many friends that the roads all round the church were filled with vans and trucks from building companies all round Birmingham. He was very much missed. If your idea of being a man is to beat down on others, to ignore their pain, to ignore your own pain to the point that you leave your family without you prematurely, that is toxic masculinity. If your idea of being a man is to provide for your people, to keep them safe, to create a safe space for them to express themselves & communicate their needs & their wishes, that is not toxic masculinity.
They imply masculinity itself is toxic.
@@davefletch3063 who is they?
@@blkskltn sometimes refered to as leftists, feminists, culturcidal maniacs and other social engineering types. They destroy civilization after civilization and seek to plunge the world back into darkness and chaos. Basically disciples of satan
@@blkskltn - Literally anybody that uses the phrase "Toxic Masculinity"
@@davefletch3063 Sounds like you’re projecting onto it
You criticise others for "being to lazy to pick up a dictionary", yet you don't seem to have put in the effort to understand the meaning of the expression, or where it comes from - the men's movement of the 1980s. And you don't seem to have put in the effort to understand that the use of adjectives is not a "co-opting" of the English language, but an important part of how it works. If I say "dark green", I don't mean that green is dark, but refer to a type of green which I can contrast to "light green". If I say "toxic mushrooms", similarly, I don't mean that mushrooms are toxic, but refer to some types of them, as opposed to "edible mushrooms". And if I say "toxic masculinity", I mean a range of ways that men are taught to behave, which harms them as well as people around them, in the place of other ways to express masculinity - "nurturing masculinity", "deep masculinity", "protective masculinity".
Also, I fail to see that your use of "screw" is any less profane than "dropping the f-bomb". Both refer to the sexual act. Indeed, a character in the movie Pride, when asked which to use (in the context of an insult), replies: "screw, it's more visceral."
I find it funny he criticises the term for invoking an emotional response, yet describes it as "Orwellian newspeak" and "Satanic expression" without a hint of irony.
Thanks
Thank you!
Nothing says toxic masculinity like two kitties wrestling
The way I see it "toxic masculinity" is essentially gatekeeping but for what makes a man a man. A good example was a meme that said "to the men who dont fish, shoot, or hunt, Happy Mothers day." As a meme, its humorous and I laughed at the joke however some people take it seriously and think that men can only act a certain way. To that regard it is "toxic" to think that men have to act a certain way. Toxic masculinity doesnt mean masculinity is toxic, it means that saying men have to act a certain way to be men is harmful to the growth and development of men in society. It is not a lie, it is not decietful, it is an adjective used to describe a specific mindset that studies show to impare emotional development in boys and men.
There are traits that inherently masculine and traits that are inherently feminine. The people who made up toxic masculinity want men to be feminine
@@davefletch3063 That is demonstrably false. The term was coined by a man named Shepherd Bliss and started during the mythopoetic mens movement. It was a phrase used to describe what had become considered socionormative behaviour of boys and men. The idea was that men have an intrinsically masculine nature and feelings that women dont have and need to be able to freely express this nature. The idea further suggests that the inability to express this nature is partially what leads to overagressive behavior in boys and men and causes bullying, misogynistic traits, depression, and general mental and physical health issues. This specifically started after the decades push of the idea that men dont have emotion and should bottle it up.
So basically the original phylosophy behind "toxic masculinity" is that if men are not given societal permission to express emotions properly it can cause other issues. The idea being that over agressive behavior, bullying, and misogyny were considerrd "manly behavior" and bullying was just "boys being boys" and they need to "man up" was detrimental to mens mental health.
Tl;dr: Men not being able to openly express their inherently masculine emotion the way they once were leads to toxic and destructive behavior and mental instability. This toxic and destructive behavior was pushed by society as "what real men do" sometime post WW2 and a mens movement from the 1980s worked to change it and the phrase was born.
@@captainbeaver_man903 what we are discussing is the way it being used. It is demonstrably true it is used to degrade men as a whole with the only acceptable males being subservient to masculinized females. It is in every commercial, movie and discussion about men in society
I scrolled down to post something exactly like this, pleasantly surprised it's already here. Masculinity in itself isn't bad, and shouldn't be innately condemned. What should be condemned however, is the concept that all men should conform to a definition of traditional masculinity - to fit a mold of what society thinks a "man" is. Should you not fit the mold, you're passed over at best and ridiculed at worst - almost like being a second class citizen.
let me ask you a question.... the people who expect that "you have to do certain things to be a man" what gender can those people have? can they be only male? or can they be female as well? or transgender? Intersex? etc.? If the people who think this way can be any gender, then it's not masculinity that is toxic. It's those people! And it's a mind virus.
Just wanted to say, Happy Mother's day. It was my mother who instilled in me the values and merits inherent in masculinity after my father passed away too early.
"We did not doubt, our mothers knew it"
2:40 I like how you spent about 5 seconds talking about the topic and completely dismantled it in such a tiny amount of time..
I kind of disagree with some comments here, and I'll try to explain why. Saying 'blue hats' only implies that there might be other hats that aren't blue. It isn't a description of all hats, and it's a strange read in my view to read that it's arguing that there's something blue about a hat.
Similarly, masculinity is a lot of norms, expectations and ideas associated with what it is to be a man. Many of these can be very good! Drive, ambition, independence; these and many other traits would clearly not fit under any banner of toxic masculinity.
However, sometimes people try to put messed up expectations on others. I have a friend that was abused in a relationship with his now ex girlfriend, but when he reached out, many people men and women dismissed his calling for help because of their ideas of what a man is; they thought men can't be victims, or should suck it up because they can defend themselves, and similar things. Although these people were using expectations of what it is to be a man to police my friend (masculinity) what they were doing, men and women themselves, was definitely toxic. All of these people were using toxic masculinity as a result.
I feel like when we say that a modifier is actually redefining a word, we lose the ability to talk about this exact sort of problem. To me this is a tool as a man to talk about expectations unfairly put on me and others. Thanks for getting to the bottom of this if you made it, and respect to R Dewey as always for talking about the things that matter to him!
This is why Sean Strickland blew up and became so popular. Normal males see him doing everything possible to trigger the type of people who say "toxic masculinity" and we love it.
Re: men being easy targets. I tend to agree. As men, we are taught to "suck it up", be tough, not cry, etc. That is pretty toxic, wouldn't you say?
Yes and no imo. Obviously men should be able to express their emotions and we shouldn't bottle everything up but also men do have a duty to be protectors and providers at the same time imo, which takes a strong will amd mentality. You do make a good point tho ✌
Sadly, that's being advertised as some sort of "neo-Stoicism" where you are at fault for being sad by things that aren't in your control, but can be changed by speaking up and collectively trying to fix the issue that made you feel bad, an example would be bullying.
@@treadstoned9915 if your window beaks and you cry that's odd if you mother dies not so much
@@codbeast914 well I agree with you there lol
No. I would say your argument is exactly what they want you to think. Perfectly made up to feminize men.
One of the most important things of being a man is being able to control your emotions. In many situations that is MAN UP.
there are times and places for emotional outlet but you they cant take you over in daily life. You cant be led by your emotions as a man. We would beat eachothers head in lol
If we men were to act as females when it comes to our emotions not only would we fail as leaders providers and protectors, we would also become very violent.
(99% of american schoolshooters are boys that were raised in single moms households)
Think they would let their emotions take over and shoot up a school if they had their dad to tell them to man up more often?
Another incredible Ramsey video! This guy fits so well in the archetype of martial arts master! Calm, wise , profound and funny in a really balanced way.
Thanks for speaking about this sort of thing Ramsay, iv always felt you are an independent thinker and would have valuable perspective on this. Not just on the topic of "toxic masculinity" but more broadly, on the way language is used to deceive and miscommunicate.
This video, aswell as your video on match fixing in mma, have been much needed divergence from the average topics discussed in these communities.
The devil lies in the details.
Man I'm not religious, I have faith, but without any kind of church behind my beliefs.
And as always my respect for you just grow bigger.
You said some words I already known, but need someone else to make me believe I'm not wrong.
Thanks man.
Hope for the best for you and your family.
There’s nuance in masculinity and femininity. Large scale societies mean that it’s easy for aspects of masculinity and femininity to becomes warped into something that isn’t positive. To call something toxically masculine is to say it’s a toxic branch of masculinity not that masculinity is all toxic in the same way that referring to some words as toxic words doesn’t mean that all words are toxic.
However, it may be better to refer to “toxic masculinity” as “toxic aspects of masculinity” I’d be interested to hear how you think we can stop problems associated with these aspects of masculinity without labelling the problem. Do you think all of masculine behaviour is perfect?
*Do you think all of masculine behaviour is perfect?* is part of the semantics game. When the activists say "toxic masculinity" they mean ALL masculinity. Instead of gendering traits, why don't we just say, "don't be a jerk."
@@cassiuslives4807 Well semantics are only unhelpful if they deviate from the topic at hand. Masculinity is defined as a set of qualities which is typical of men, if part of that set is toxic then why not refer to those characteristics as toxic masculinity? I’d agree with you that we shouldn’t use the term if it’s seeding the language of anti-male activists but I think the term originates from a pro male group that wanted to help men to deal with unhealthy repression and aggression. I don’t really know what those activists do or don’t say because my environment is pretty curated.
@@Reggie-tf4ex *why not refer to those characteristics as toxic masculinity?* because being a jerk isn't gendered and there's no reason to conflate it and hence seed the language from the lens of anti-male activists. The origin is immaterial- the term "toxic masculinity" genders and falsely generalises being a jerk to all men... trying to walk it back as "nuance" is weak. Instead tell the people who are jerks, not to be insufferable, nasty or silly, whether they be men, women, hermaphrodites, talking dogs, talking cats or space aliens. Basically, don't be a bad moral agent.
@@cassiuslives4807 There are lots of ways that masculinity specifically is not positive. For example being emotionally detached and cold is something which men are taught by each other from a young age and we now live in a world where you can be what you want so it’s more valuable to be introspective and aware of what your emotions are guiding you towards instead of being emotionally repressed.
Another example is the wish to dominate others, the whole “alpha” mentality is representative of a time which past millions of years ago. Humans got to where we are by cooperation and interdependence, domination is a poor long term strategy for life.
I guess these don’t necessarily have to be attached to masculinity either but that’s where the issues have their routes and by calling them what they are as toxic issues relating to masculinity we can alter masculinity so that the problems don’t grow out of it.
We've been so focused on toxic masculinity and toxic femininity instead of toxicity
No one has ever been focussed on toxic femininity. It doesnt exist
Agreed
You're halfway there. The idea of "toxic masculinity" comes from a social construct "masculinity", men who aren't "masculine" are beaten into submission, and "toxic femininity" works the same way for "feminine" social constructs. Thus, there can't just be "toxic", in a society where these kinds of social constructs exist and enforce through social pressure (the toxic part).
Well, there are differences. Violence and homophobia is waaaay more common among men, and more connected to the idea of "being a man".
Ive heard plenty of guys say shit like "if a gay started comming on to me id punch the dude uncuncious".
Never heard such remarks from females...
I'm not really religious but I love watching your takes on these things and the fact that you are not afraid to express your beliefs. Much respect!
It seems Ramsey and many of you miss or refuse to engage with the point addressed by the term toxic masculinity. Its not saying that being masc is inherently bad. Instead what we are saying is that its wrong to justify toxic, abusive, sexist, misogynist behavior, etc by saying thats just how men natural are or if you aren't like that you are not masculine.
For example, a lot of our elders believed men could never cry, show any emotion or tenderness otherwise you risk "not being a man" or "you are acting like a girl". And hopefully you all here can agree that you can be tough when needed but you won't be less of a man for being emotionally healthy.
Yeah, this seems like a deliberate misunderstanding of the term.
@@tippusmaximus yea and to be honest it seems like just bad faith engagement given that when it comes to speaking about fighting and martial arts, dude has no problem grappling with very complex thinking 🤷🏼♀️
@@lilith4961 the issue is that for most people when they hear toxic masculinity it implies that masculinity is toxic. That's because of the grammatical construction of the term. That's why I think the term is bad, this should be called like "hyper virilism".
@@TomahAwkDJ7 nobody would use your term. Adjective + noun implies this is the version of the object/concept/person/animal etc... wich has the property described by the adjective.
When I say green apple, nobody assumes I think all apples are green
@@TomahAwkDJ7 im skeptical about that claim since its clear imo we are talking about a particular kind of masculinity or listening just a bit from those who use that term would clear things up.
I enjoyed this video very much.
I particularly agree with what you said about the use of "s**t" and how a word that can mean anything really means nothing. I apologise if I have misrepresented your words with that summary.
I think the word "random" has suffered from this modern malady more than any other. People will use "random" or "randomly" instead of surprise, suddenly, spontaneously, infrequent, common, sporadic, occasional, unpredictable, confusing, mundane or strange, along with too many other words to easily list in a TH-cam post. I know many people think there is nothing at all wrong with this and I am not going to argue with them, but I think the language is certainly poorer when so many words are abandoned to be replaced with just one.
"Like" is a similarly abused word. We can sometimes hear people use it several times in a row with only a very slightly different meaning intended from one to another. I don't think it's a very sophisticated way to communicate and it's a one-way journey that I don't think will slow down for some time.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. The beauty of language comes from the potential to say precisely what was intended. Why would our forefathers gift us with such an impressive lexicon, only for us to squabble it away in favor speaking with the variety of a Neanderthal. This is my problem with black American English. These people running the schools claim to be combating racism, yet let black kids speak like oafs. We need a return to high standards. Friends don't let friends sound like idiots. We need to be people our ancestors would be proud of, not the shameful self-serving creatures we have become.
I HATE MODERNITY.
@@joshh1693 I expected replies shouting at me for caring about language. Thank you for showing me I am not alone. I would say that I think the media is to blame for what you describe as "black American English". MTV and whatever passes for it in 2022 are the things that encourage these people to reject literacy, and in the UK at least, it afflicts people of all kinds of backgrounds. They worship celebrities and the average celebrity has no idea at all of what a sentence is. Unfortunately, I don't think there is much chance of the decay slowing down and in just a few decades, we will have reached the stage where grunting and pointing are common for a lot of people.
A question for The Coach:
If a man playing tennis since six months should challenge a man who have never seen a racket, his chances of victory would be near 100%
Probably the same thinking would be true in all other 1 vs 1 (fencing, judo, basket and so on)
But I fear that a person who practises mma since six months, against a person who have never seen a cage, wouldn’t have the same (near 100%) chances of success…
What is your opinion?
Thanks in advance!
If they had the same physical makeup and athleticism, all being equal besides the fact that one has 6 months of MMA and the other has 0 combat sport experience, it would still be close to 100% chance of victory for the trained guy.
@@pennc81 Yes, same physical makeup and athleticism, of course.
I guess the chances would be just a little inferior, around 90%, only because in some way also an untrained man has a little (very little) skill when it comes to defend itself, but if you never took a racket you are a fish out of water...
Normally, you're still a noob after 6 months of training, except you would exercise several hours a day. All what matters, is your body, your mind, your technical capabilities, it really depends on the fighter. But why is that question important, anyway? If it's for the streets fights, the answer is simple: the assault rifle is superior to hand combat 🤔😉
Yeah. I'm politically liberal and I have a philosophy degree from a particularly progressive university. So, I have read A LOT of radical/critical leftwing literature. Even I think the use and application of this term has gotten way out of hand. There are some behaviors that are toxic and that are associated with masculinity in a culturally specific way. There are also some toxic behaviors that seem to be disproportionately done by men in a bell curve sense of averages (e.g., men are almost certainly more likely to sexually assault women than vice versa, regardless of culture).
But at this point, almost anything masculine is targeted as "problematic." Some masculine traits simply are good/beneficial, and some others, while having clear downsides, are nevertheless indispensable in certain contexts.
I'd be careful with the "men are almost certainly more likely to sexually assault women than vice versa" while it's likely and the official statistics say so, men are less likely to report sexual assaults (and even admit they have been assaulted), men are definitely more inclined to violence and heads on aggressiveness (testosterone) however in the grand scheme of things I'd assume men and women are pretty similar in terms of abuse.
Great points Richard. I also think there's a missed opportunity in not redirecting conversations about toxic masculinity into in depth, nuanced exploration of true (non-toxic) masculinity. Let's make a trampoline of the floor.
the metaphor in the term is never examined, 'toxic' - nothing is inherently toxic, cyanide is just a molecule, it's toxic when ingested into the human body, ie. 'toxic' is dependent on context. The context in which certain modes of masculinity are 'toxic' is always implicit and never made explicit: it's always simply late stage consumer capitalism, always about containing primal sexuality in corporate offices or w/e. You yourself throw around this term 'toxic' despite claiming a philosophical background - you mean immoral, but what morality is implicit here? If not the morality of hyper-capitalism it's this utterly bourgeois schoolmarm morality about playing 'nice' - when it purports to be this radical deconstructive thing. 'Toxic masculinity' is a term not particularly rich in actual content or meaning but its use serves as a kind of tribal signalling among ppl who consume the same few corporate media outlets that determine their vocabulary (so they can recognise each other and speak to each other in their programmed lexicon)
There are behaviours that are bad and are mostly committed by men, but never exclusively. The issue is always the behaviour, not the masculinity. Your example of sexual assault is something most reasonable people would agree is bad, but we can call that out without invoking masculinity or smearing all men.
Comparatively lesbians harass and attack women more than men and gay men to men. Calling it a toxic male behavior is exactly why the entire concept is wrong. Psychopathic and sociopathic behavior and other pathologies and issues are not even considered either. It's a concept that points at nothing specific, superficially and purposefully ignoring every detail about it and calls it the absolute truth.
Surprised there was no discussion on the Mythopoetic Men's Movement where the term "toxic masculinity" originated to differentiate from "genuine" or "mature" masculinity. I think we lose a lot without that context. Namely that I don't believe the term is an attempt to pathologize men and boys, but rather a way to address a set of behaviors and characteristics that have managed to seep into the canon of what it means to be a man.
I actually believe the opposite to be true. Bad faith actors and extremists on all ends of the spectrum have coopted the term and sucked out all nuance, resulting in arguments on sophistry rather than the real issues. It's not an inherently bad phrase, but it's been corrupted into so many dog whistles that elicit emotional responses that keep people from rational discussion.
Could not agree more. I’ve been lectured by people for my parenting style and how it relates to masculinity by the same people that say my son is the nicest and sweetest kid in the neighborhood. Sharing the hell out of this thanks buddy!
The term is not the problem: if someone tells you they don't like blue cars, the word "blue" is the important one, they're not declaring war on all cars. Toxic masculinity refers to unhealthy traits usually associated with masculinity, but it doesn't mean that all masculine traits are toxic
I think the coach missed this part
So then what is toxic femininity?
@@kelkelly5516 it would obviously mean the same thing: traits and behaviours that are are culturally associated with women and feminity and could be harmful to the person who displays it or the ones with which that person interact. Pointing out the problems with behaviours that are damaging and usually associated with masculinity doesn't excuse the same type of behaviour when associated with femininity
@@DanielBL980 Name an example of toxic feminity please.
These unhealthy traits are human traits taken too far. They aren't associated with masculinity, but with humanity.
Also, I've seen to car analogy like a dozen times. I guess you guys all got your download from the same place.
the vague list of behavioral patterns that make up the concept of "toxic masculinity" also overlap with mass undiagnosed issues like ADHD, estimated 20% of people have it, while 3% are diagnosed or some rediculous disparity. so compulsive behaviors, shared across the sexes, are being labelled toxic, which is itself ablist. just like throwing around the narcissist or abuser label to every ex, which is rampant among social justice and adjecent circles. there are concerning things happening for sure, but obfuscating them with technical jargon interferes with adressing them directly, and creates a smoke screen for bad actors to disguise their toxicity. lets just call it what it is, domineering, ridicule, double standards, peer pressure, intimidation, coercion, etc... and whatever else the specific issues are, rather than lumping them together arbitrarily to create some coherent narrative. the only narrative of abuse is that abusers will do whatever they can get away with to push their will on others, and deminish anothers will to make it easier to do so long term when possible. abusers will abuse all the latest anti abuse rhetoric and methodology as well, so lets stop making it a specialist field, that way ordinary people can better learn and navigate, and intervene and stop abuse, using ordinary language and tactics.
I question that whether ADHD is correctly diagnosed for some. Given what I've learned about child psychology, children do need a certain amount of attention growing up, and if they don't get enough of it, behaviors that are similar to ADHD can show up. That amongst other behaviors from other disorders.
yeah adhd has nothing to do with childhood development or amount of attention a child receives as a kid. its largely a genetic disorder, the most inherited mental illness that we are aware of, as evidence by the strongest studies done with twins raised in different families. you are right that it is misdiagnosed, but not in the way you think, it is often undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed as a laundry list of other disorders, especially when it comes to adults with it and women, the fastest growing populations diagnosed with adhd. this is because the common misunderstandings of what adhd is, its symptomology and causes, is much more dynamic than previous generations, including psychologists believed. adults with undiagnosed adhd often internalize the symptoms as personality traits thinking they are lazy, dont care about or lose interest in certain things because they have a hard time with them, are prone to accidents and social errors etc, get misdiagnosed with things like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, borderline, sensory processing disorder and more, or self diagnose any of these and more if they have a hard time accessing medical care as many do. some researchers jokingly refer to adult ahdh as "the one less diagnosis diagnosis" because of how common it is for those with undiagnosed adhd to be able to reduce their list of suspected mental illnesses to a single more coherent one that offers more effective treatement options for them. for decades now it hasnt been considered a childhood disease anymore as it once was, nor is it considered a male disease as it also once was, just that it tends(but doesnt always) manifest differently in adults(who internalize the symptoms and develop coping mechanisms, good or bad) and women(who develop inattentive behaviors to cope with dopamine irregularities, rather than the hyperactivity that men do, generally speaking of course, as men like me can also have inattentive type, and women can have hyperactive type. they are not different symptoms but different ways of coping with the symptoms, milking dopamine with activity, vs checking out until dopamine returns)
It's estimated that around 5% of people belong to the "ADHD type". For most it's not an issue, so in this context the term undiagnosed can be a bit misleading; not all of the 5% would benefit from a diagnose, only the ones that are suffering in some form or another as a consequence.
@@TheMasturCheef thats about how many folks are diagnosed with it, not an estimate, but a measurement. it is estimated that a magnitude more fit the bill that go undiagnosed. whether or not someone benefits from a diagnosis is of marginal relevancy to whether or not someones symptoms and internalized coping mmechanisms could be misunderstood as toxic personality traits. distinguishing these in any clear sense is also not always possible on the individual level, but on a population scale, we can infer it is in fact happening and is in fact significant, and therefore should play an important role in any related advocacy. dont get distracted by broader theoretical issues here, my point for raising these issues was not to delve into the prevelence of adhd, or any particular analysis around it, but that things like undiagnosed adhd are far more common than toxic personality traits, and there are symptoms of adhd that do at times lead to maladaptive coping mecahnisms easily confused with toxic personality traits. its really quite a simple thesis, if you dont try to make it something its not. its really not about how much adhd goes undiagnosed, or how much adhd impacts people, or how important it is to get diagnosed if you have adhd, but how much toxicity is overapplied, when undiagnosed issues such as adhd would be a better explination
Jesus, as someone whose been subject to actual ableism, NO.
Toxic Masculinity is not ableist.
Labelling sexual assault and domestic violence as bad is not ableist.
Labelling homophobia as bad is not ableist.
The term goes beyond individual jerks and bullies and touches into the broader social phenomenon or conventions or culture of machismo that can promote jerk and bully behavior and mentalities.
There's nothing specifically "male" about "jerks and bullies". Just because a woman might spread nasty rumors and ostracize you socially instead of punching you, doesn't mean they aren't bully and a jerk.
What you're describing is a *human* problem, not a male one.
@@bandit6272 "Human problem" can have different and specific expressions or manifestations that could use different terms. Terms can distinguish between the toxicity of bar brawls and the toxicity of Mean Girls gossiping backbiting crap.
And there are a lot of cultures where it is genderized and where women are subservient (not to say without faults either). And even in modern societies there are still lingering effects or tendencies.
If we were talking about the Taliban or old China with footbinding would anyone be "nooo not all men!!!" or would they be "oh yeah there is inequality between the genders, with one being forced to submission, while the other being expressed in an oppressive way"?
Call it chauvinism or machismo or something else if certain modern terms are unacceptable or "the work of satan" lol
I'm sure a few other commentors have pointed this out already, but toxic masculinity is a term for the damaging behavior that people do because they *think that particular damaging behavior is masculine*. You can have "toxic tap water". It doesn't need to be said that tap water is not inherently toxic.
Men and women both might refuse to go to the hospital when they are severely ill. But if a man does it *because he thinks it's unmasculine to go to the hospital* that's toxic masculinity. A man going out to the woods and shooting a deer with a bow and arrow, butchering it, and then preserving the meat, is an example of strong masculinity. It's not *toxic* masculinity whatsoever, because there's no harmful behavior in it.
If a man refuses to wipe his own ass because he thinks it's gay, that is toxic masculinity. A man building a cabin or taking up boxing is not toxic masculinity.
Marrying a woman and having eight kids with her is not toxic masculinity. Never telling her you love her because it's not "what men do" is toxic masculinity.
7min in...Outstanding direct statements shining light on the cult of the enemy of humanity!
Masculinity = 50% of the creative expression of all of nature
I feel there are 2 different definitions for toxic masculinity:
1. The social pressure that makes men reluctant to show emotions, affection or interest in certain things (like ballet).
2. Masculinity in and of itself is toxic.
If we're using the first definition then I'm somewhat on board, however the second definition is dangerous and sexist.
The first definition is tied to a specific cultural context so claiming that as a reference point is either absurd, disingenuous or ethnocentric.
Everything is not a social construct Why is the fact that men and women naturally trend towards different interest toxic?
Yes. The first one is should be considred the only real meaning, but radicals use the second one.
As I wrote to Ramsey in another comment, a toxic male while call him names because Ramsey knows dance. Ramsey is not a womanizer, so he will also be looked down by those kind of men. That´s what toxic masculinity is. Bad behaviour related to their concept of what a man should be. It´s not just being a toxic person.
@@SurmaSampo I agree, I think a lot of it has to do with not showing feminine / gay traits. Which could be the result of Christianity banning homosexuality a thousand or more years ago. So we'd need to determine if there exists masculinity independant of culture. I don't think we have to look very far though if we look at the influence of testosterone and estrogen levels for example.
@@douwehuysmans5959 I agree but unfortunately it seems that most sociologists in English speaking countries believe that all human behaviours are products of social conditioning and societies are just just hierarchies of dominance.
It seems as though sociology has become the discipline of choice for sociopaths.
Seeing the title of this video made me think. There isn't a term 'Toxic Femininity ' I mean there's literally hundreds of folklore and myths demonstrating these behaviours but it's not a term like toxic masculinity or anything like that.
Unless we're looking at it as the negative traits of an excess in either Yang or Yin, how we need to be balanced.
Just some thoughts!
Toxic femininity definitely does exist. While toxic masculinity includes bullying by physically aggressive behavior, toxic femininity includes bullying by passive aggression and gossip. Basically, "mean girls".
Ironically, Louis CK pointed out that toxic femininity is worse than toxic masculinity. A toxic male will just beat the shit out of you, while a toxic female will destroy your life.
Toxic feminity while a less used term it is used. The idea that women should want children or should not want to play physical sports work on cars etc. Lastly slut shaming is part of toxic feminity. How many women lie about the amount of sexual partners. They have had? I know men that would break up with a grown woman for having close to or over ten partners while they have had many more often more then double.
If they do acknowledge that some classically Feminine traits do exist, they will then turn around and blame it on men.
"Toxic" is an adjective, like "blue". And just like not all shoes are blue, there is a subset of 'blue shoes' which exist. It's the same principle: not all masculinity is toxic, but masculinity can be performed or encouraged in ways that are toxic, and those ways are called 'toxic' because they hurt people, and when spread to others, encourages them to act in ways that hurt people - it's a societal problem that spreads and acts like a toxin.
For instance: 'Toxic Masculinity' is a boy getting bullied for liking the color pink "because it's a girl color", or a man hitting someone during a verbal disagreement because that's how they were taught to solve arguments, or someone being told to 'man up' and not being allowed to cry.
I agree with the commenter in this video - I thought you were more reasonable than this. This 'satanic orwellian newspeak' junk is literal insanity. adios.
There is a lot of confusion as to what toxic masculinity even means nowadays. However the definition I read from multiple feminist scholars is that toxic masculinity is not the idea that masculinity is inherently toxic but that there are ideas in our culture that are harmful or “toxic” to men, like the idea that we should resolve our conflicts with violence rather than logic and reason or to ignore our emotions even when it hurts us to do so leading to a higher suicide rate among men especially young men and boys.
Having the definition tied to a specific cultural context so claiming that as a reference point is either absurd, disingenuous or ethnocentric.
You are correct. I´m afraid Ramsey is taking his meaning from the one radicals use. If we think in those terms them the coach is right in everything he said but... That´s not the real meaning. Toxic masculinity is a problem and the actual advice that Ramsey put in many of his videos is actually a weapon to fight against it.
We understand it, we just think you're wrong.
Stop trying to "explain" it.
Also...."feminist scholars" lol
@@ACSMEX why is it called toxic masculinity specifically.....? You had a complex answer to what it means but why couldnt the name just reflect that definition? That is the question actually being addressed. They did not call it harmfull gender norms, this was not a one off phrase in an article. Its a bona fide expression used only for men. Why was it necessary to focus something that affects both genders only on men? When we see a woman lie about loving a man for his money we call her a gold digger, we do not say toxic femininity. There is no phrase toxic femininity in the public zeitgeist, so why is it that when the idea is applied to women it is framed as a societal problem but when the idea is applied to men its is treated as toxic.....?
We all understand the idea itself, its the name that is being called into question as well as the use of the idea without context to put down men.
@@httohot Ok, I'll try to explain from my ignorant point of view.
Let's start by saying that toxic masculinity and toxic feminity are both real things. You won't hear about the last one because women have not been empowered enough time and also because currently there is a PC ideology that will shut down any conversation about it.
I can't even try to explain the gold digger example without risking BOTH SIDES OF THE ARGUMENT putting some labels on me.
The second thing is that I'm not a gender studies mayor, I'm just an STEM middle aged mexican guy talking with you on TH-cam.
"Men do not cry" is part of toxic masculinity. Yeah, men do not cry... They kill themselves instead because they don't learn to manage their emotions and do not want to admit his mental and emotional weakness to other people. Or will just drink themselves to death with the same result.
"Fear of being seeing as less of a man" is part of toxic masculinity. Such a man might even reject a rectal exam because he fears everyone now might think he "is gay" or because he might feel his masculinity compromised.
"Demanding obedience from women" is another part of toxic masculinity. This kind of man, if they ever loose focus, are the kind to sexually assault a woman if she rejects their advances, most likely claiming "she was asking for it", saying "they could not control themselves", or blaming the way she was dressed.
This kind of men may even hit their partners if they behave with independence of their will.
"Not believing women are capable of independent thought", these men will always doubt any decision made by women, they will not trust a women in their team to do the most hard part of the job even if she is the most qualified and overall, they unironically think that "women belong in the kitchen".
So they are assholes, but their assholery is directly linked to what THEY BELIEVE A MAN SHOULD BE AND DESERVES.
Because of that link, it requires a proper categorization which is "toxic masculinity".
“Servants of Satan??!” Seriously?
Don’t you think that’s a bit crazy?
@Villainy Outsider Ramsey has briefly mentioned his faith once or twice before but this is the first time I’ve heard him mix conspiracy and religion and do so at length
Toxic masculinity implies the existence of non toxic masculinity. If the point was to say that all masculinity was bad we would just call bad masculinity masculinity. The point is also not to point at individual men and say that they're bad men. What toxic masculinity is is all the unhealthy expectations that society has of men. The term was invented to explain and to understand how society hurts men.
Come on bro. Your profile picture is Killua. Dont fall for the feminization of men this easily
@@timorbalimore4011 My profile picture was chosen by my niece, and I never felt a need to change it. You don't know me, and even if you did your opinion of me says nothing about the validity of what I said, so make an argument for why I'm wrong.
@@VictorChevrestt You want me to cut to the part where you gave toxic masculinity your own definition as does everyone else that got brainwashed into thinking this term actually means something?
Everyone gets brainwashed into thinking the term means something without it having a definition. So they all give a different definition to it.
If society has unhealthy expectations of men thats called Society placing unhealthy expectations on men. Thats not called toxic masculinity lol. Toxic masculinity was created as an attack on masculinity. Its to shame men for being men.
@@timorbalimore4011 I didn't make anything up. I'm not using my definition, I'm just using the definition. Here's a quote from the Wikipedia article.
"In the social sciences, toxic masculinity refers to traditional cultural masculine norms that can be harmful to men, women, and society overall. This concept of toxic masculinity does not condemn men or male attributes, but rather emphasizes the harmful effects of conformity to certain traditional masculine ideal behaviors such as dominance, self-reliance, and competition.[8][9] Toxic masculinity is thus defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that consequently stigmatize and limit the emotions boys and men may comfortably express while elevating other emotions such as anger.[10] It is marked by economic, political, and social expectations that men seek and achieve dominance."
@@VictorChevrestt its still a made up definition. No other country than america knows about toxic masculinity. Even America which is a shitshow with the feminism right now, would forget about toxic masculinity the moment sht hits the fan and the men need to step up.
Sorry but you’re off base on this. Toxic masculinity is not saying masculinity is toxic, but that there are often expectations of how men should behave (inhumanly stoic, “macho”, sexually aggressive) that is harmful to men and the people around them.
If masculinity is a river, toxic masculinity is the poisoned river that’s overrun the riverbank and carries within it something that makes it caustic.
Agreed
Additionally "toxic masculinity" is a title meant to call out the culture that endorses misogynistic group behavior in the same way that "white supremacy" calls out the culture that endorses racist ideologies.
Arguing semantics is all fine for those who aren't negatively affected.
These terms ARE meant to be provoking for a reason; real people are affected by real dynamics.
Saying that "it isn't a thing" only serves marginalize those affected even more so. Though I must say I haven't seen anyone literally demonize others in quite some time.
Exactly this.
What is masculine about behaviors associated with 'Toxic Masculinity'? Insecurity, overcompensation, reckless ambition, seeking respect and acceptance at the expense of others, lack of compassion and empathy, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. Some of these negative traits appear in everyone regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
They are the polar opposite of cultural paragons of masculinity, such as Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Superman, Luke Skywalker, Neo, Aragorn, He-Man, etc. By throwing 'masculinity' into the term, the crux of the matter is skewed, and the same garbage gets propped up as desirable traits for women, and young men are given no real role models of how to develop, just a checklist of what not to be. Integrity, stoicism, bravery, dedication and selflessness fall by the wayside as young men become permissive, indecisive, entitled and judgmental.
Sadly, as a Hispanic man, I grew up being taught all of these behaviors and other negative behaviors as an example of what it means to "be a man". I never took well to any of it so thankfully none of it stuck with me, but it also led to being bullied by other guys in my community and being made fun of for not being manly enough just because I didn't want to be homophobic, puff my chest out in insecurity, etc.
I think the term 'toxic masculinity' in itself is overly divisive, but from what i understood what it tries to get at, is that these behaviors are taught to boys from a young age as what it means to be a man, but because it's termed as what it is, it makes one think all masculinity is bad, which it isn't.
Agreed. Just wanted to add that homophobia doesnt have any meaning anymore.
This is what I've been saying. Very much agreed.
The term takes toxic "human" behaviors and tries to lay them at the feet of masculinity.
Then, they tend to move on to pathologize healthy, stereotypically male behavior, like competitiveness or stoicism. (Saying these are bad when taken to the extreme is no justification for the term as EVERYTHING is bad when taken to the extreme).
The most toxic parts of all of this, is the term itself, how it's used, and the people who push it.
@@ferndiesel So the issue with the toxic behaviour is not that it was masculine, but that it was being taught as a cultural norm. Why not call it 'toxic cultural norms' to focus on the real issue instead of finger pointing?
@@kevingray4980 it's because it's taught as a norm for masculinity. Like I'm sure you may have cried and heard people tell you to suck it up, or that boys don't cry. Stuff like that teaches younto supress emotion which causes a whole lot of other issues in life. Like I said, masculinity in itself is fine, good, even. I love being masculine, but some things that were taught need to be seen as toxic and not representative as "what it means to be a man". Though I do see a lot of men teaching their boys better than to reflect those behaviors nowadays, so that's great
My sabumnim said something similar to what you said about changing the way you talk about yourself. The more you say something, the more you believe it. And the more you believe it, the more true it is. It was a pretty inspiring saying. I've met a bunch of people online and face-to-face that say they can't do something or that their something negative. I always ask them, how do you know that. They never have a legit answer. Never. They'll just say, I don't know, in this defeated way, and then go silent. So, I think people need to start finding good qualities about them, write them down, and tell themselves those good things. I always believed that if you speak positive, and think positive, you'll be positive.
Thanks for the video. It was really inspiring.
2:06 I think the reason we don't just call people bullies and cowards is because terms like"toxic masculinity" are used to describe a wider social phenomenon. It's not about any specific individual being a dick, it's about certain gender norms associated with masculinity (or rather western masculinity, not to say it doesn't alsoappear elsewhere) that are probably bad for people.
For example if you're masculine because you like sports and working out that's not toxic, that's just what you like to do.
Now let's look at another trait observed in traditional masculinity: not being open with your emotions, seeing that as weak, etc. That's not a helpful trait and it can disparage people who are seeking help through things like therapy. The word toxic is used to describe that because like poison it hurts people, specifically it hurts men.
"Western masculinity" is the further ideological notch on this label?
As you put an adjective in front of that noun you make clear, I think, that it describes a certain type of what that noun stands for. So toxic masculinity by definition is not general masculinity. The term might be not the best since it can be misused like many others, but it is useful, if applied correctly. "Toxic" does not necessarily points to an deadly effect of men's (mis)behaviour, but describes patterns that run through our society, reproduced not only by men, and those patterns have negative effects in many ways - like a poison within a living system. That goes beyond the meaning of words like "jerk". Of course you could also say "pollution", but I am not sure, if people would be happier with the term "polluting masculinity". Hmmm. Maybe we should say "harmful patterns" instead?
As you put an adjective in front of that noun you make clear, I think, that it describes a certain type of what that noun stands for. So toxic blackness by definition is not general blackness. The term might be not the best since it can be misused like many others, but it is useful, if applied correctly. "Toxic" does not necessarily points to an deadly effect of blacks' (mis)behaviour, but describes patterns that run through our society, reproduced not only by blacks, and those patterns have negative effects in many ways - like a poison within a living system. That goes beyond the meaning of words like "jerk". Of course you could also say "pollution", but I am not sure, if people would be happier with the term "polluting blackness". Hmmm. Maybe we should say "harmful patterns" instead?
@@georgiishmakov9588 i like how you actually just proved his point.
@@loganwander6043 well the point was that if you say "toxic blackness" you are labeled as a racist no matter your explanation for using that word. So let's pick a lane - either "toxic masculinity" is a misandrist term designed to denigrate men as a whole, or we get to use both terms like "toxic masculinity" and ones like "toxic blackness"
@@georgiishmakov9588 Okay. We get to use both.
I feel like this topic would've been so much easier for people to digest if it was just named 'stifling gender roles.' But I do have to concede that there are some aspects of 2nd wave feminism that were just plain man-hatey and phrased things in the most bombastic ways possible. I think most reasonable people would agree that some traditional attitudes towards the genders were confining, or otherwise stifling to individuals and their expression and development.
I like to use specific examples so people can't accuse me of just being vague. I think stifling standards of masculinity absolutely have existed. Ramesy is a fun-loving guy interested in dance and wearing cutesy shirts featuring cartoon kittens. I know that not very long ago his attitude towards these things would've been frowned upon and he would've been socially reprimanded for such 'unmanly interests.'
Similarly, it was not so long ago that any woman entering a fight gym would've been politely shown the door instead of being allowed to train because fighting was considered the sole domain of men.
We have seen great progress made in these areas in only a few short generations. People have been granted access to a much wider breadth of expression and passions which allow them to lead fuller lives. Women can be tough fighters and guys can be graceful, beautiful dancers. This is good and we should focus on the positive aspects of tearing down these traditional barriers rather than endlessly nitpicking each other.
Don't confuse "toxic humanity" with masculinity.
@@bandit6272 I actually edited my comment to 'stifling gender roles' because I thought people would take umbrage with me using the word 'toxic.' I get that its become a loaded word and I think I did a pretty good job of laying out specific examples of how traditional gender roles can be stifling.
@@Condeycon It is not because it is a loaded word. It's because the entire concept is a manipulative brainwashing lie to create a new speak and a plastic standard of behavior around it to police people with it.
Does the phrase "poisonous mushrooms" infer that all mushrooms are poisonous? No. Does it refer to any and all food that is poisonous? No. It is used to refer to mushrooms that are poisonous. There are behaviours that are toxic that have nothing to do with masculinity. There is masculinity that is not toxic. The two words together have a specific meaning.
I believe your toxic masculinity has spored out of control. Please stop being so racist and hateful.
a specific meaning of demonizing men and masculinity which is a common marxist tactic. its idiotic, like saying toxic honor or toxic courage....lack of masculinity is toxic, lack of masculinity = weak, predator men. don't fall for bs leftist language, be smarter.
ur example doesnt really work since to be accurate we would say: toxic males or toxic men, which exist as much as toxic women, using the idiotic marxist terms of toxic masculinity or toxic femininity is stupid....like saying toxic mushroomness..... its not honest language and its not meant to help anyone, people that fall for leftist newspeak or that propagate leftist newspeak are either ignorant, foolish, actively evil, or mean well but are misguided and doing more harm than good.
Well, that’s interesting.
In the last two Ramsay Dewey episodes I’ve watched I’ve found out Coach is religious and was a missionary.
I’m not religious and I’ve never gotten along with missionaries, their whole mission seems to rub me the wrong way and I always seem to find the ones who find the challenge of converting entertaining.
Been watching and admiring the coach for 3-4 years and never knew or cared about his religion - it’s nice to get a reminder like that about labels.
Hi Ramsey i found your perspective enlightening and I agree with you. However, years ago I heard a take by a Jewish rabbi on the matter, and the way he say it was that “toxic masculinity” was a LACK of masculinity in men. And he meant this as men acting like boys, essentially, since boys need to learn how to become men, they aren’t born knowing what to do with their masculinity. I get that this becomes a semantics battle at this point but I thought I would share this viewpoint because I find it interesting and useful to help orient ourselves as men and figure out how to behave right. Thanks
Excellent contribution Yoey
It sounds like you are describing immaturity. But yeah, your friend makes a good point.
The guy asking the question just wanted to know what your take is on men being pressured to be strong and tough and dominant and are not manly if they aren't like that. Also that men who aren't violent and dominant and like to settle battles with their hands are seen as weak. "a real man doesn't let anyone talk to him like that" "a real man this" "a real man that".
You hung of with the word "toxic masculinity" the whole video. even tho he just used these words to describe the male stereotype that has been spreading. If you read the question again and think about what he wants to know, instead of the words that he used, maybe you know what and why he asked.
I commented this, cause i found his question really interesting and can really relate to that. I would like to hear your opinion about this topic, without overanalyzing the words that he used to discribe the problem.
Mich love, keep it up
I just leave the comment here. The point of term like "toxic masculinity" is and never was a try to co-opt male masculinity with a negative behaviors. Being masculine is fine, showing masculinity is fine and nobody want's to take away someone way of life and what they want to express themselves. The term toxic masculinity refers to the way in which we present masculinity that can be hurtful to men themselves, it is not a way to say "manliness is a problem" it is to say "men can have real psychological problems from the way society treats them and the point of discussion is to point out those sources" - toxic masculinity hurts MEN, not is a trait of MEN that hurts others.
For example, the way we grow up we are thought to show little emotions, to enjoy only certain parts of media because enjoying others can seem to be little fruity (like liking One Direction or something, even thought it isn't true you automatically become weaker by listening to One Direction), that certain types of behaviors are shunned (like if young boy isn't confident in speaking with girls, he is branded weirdo), to like physical activities like sports, only those manly like football - ice skating is for the weak etc. or cars. These tropes and locking ourselves on one way of life, without emotions, without fears, without support - only you and the world is your prey approachment, can lead SOME to serious medical problems later in life and cause harm to the men, to his family and loved ones - for which are studies and I would gladly share if somebody will show their interest :)
For me, the "toxic masculinity" always resonated somewhere in my life. I don't enjoy football, or sports, I liked classical music, I liked playing with dolls when I was younger (as well as building lego's, so don't get the wrong idea) but I never showed interest in cars or beating my colleagues for fun (which I observed happening often in my school). Of course I was shunned for not participating in "traditional" manly experiences. Now, I'm a big guy, maybe not big as you, but I'm 6'1 and weigh something like 200 pounds, I don't feel like crying on Titanic and Interstellar next to my mother and brothers made me weaker now days, i don't think that missing on typical "male" experience made me more feminine, I would say it just made me more open-minded on those other experiences.
I think that every man should understand that the portrayal of society of them is destructive, you cannot pursue different life, you need to be strong, emotion free, working to death for the family, no other things matter, you need to like manly things and be disgusted by girly things. The term "toxic masculinity" was invented to help men understand themselves, but I think now days it was twisted so much though culture war and politics, that it lost its meaning somewhere.
I hope we can engage in civilized debate and that this comment finds somebody well :)
@حسام 🗡⚔️ I fail to see how you need to submit to god to be masculine, masculinity has nothing to do with faith.
@حسام 🗡⚔️ Its not lack of faith that make villains evil. It's a lack of empathy., The only things they value are money & self.Their self serving ego outweighs their conscience
@حسام 🗡⚔️ Perhaps this is where people are going wrong. They bottle up their feelings to everyone else when chances are many probably feel the same way. & then only confide them to their chosen deity instead of sharing them with their living brothers & sisters here on earth. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying having faith, or if you are a believer, speaking to whoever you choose to devote your worship to is a bad thing. If it make you feel less alone, or brings someone comfort then whats the harm. Just that people need to remember we are the instruments of his will on Earth, & if you believe in the biblical God then you must also accept that we were given free will, meaning he cannot act on our behalf, it is up to us to do his bidding. he can only act upon our hearts & if we have faith lend us his strength to act on our own behalf in his name. if only because if one truly believes they no longer fear death giving them the courage they need to stand up for what is right. The lord is spirit, he cannot act in the physical world without an agent of his will.
I think it is really interesting how swearing is seen different in different cultures. I am from west Europe and swearing is the most regular thing in the world, pretty much every one I know swears, I see it as a way to express and underline certain things and it adds a certain trust and informality to the conversation. Because I am not american I can not fully grasp how profanities are viewed there but this video kind of gave the idea of how profanities are viewed on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. Thanks for the insight!
I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA surrounded by the LDS culture. Ramsey's view on swearing comes from his religion. Lots of Americans swear like sailers. For most Americans, the amount of swearing is context-dependent, just like in Europe.
Same in the Netherlands.
Swearing is often meant ironically to create a fun mood.
Example: "yeah, see you later, idiot" could very well just mean "see you later, friend"
Ok man, I've been watching your martial arts videos for a while now, but I haven't probably watched your more religious/philosophical ones. Did you seriously say "the servants of Satan..."???
Please tell me you were joking.
I mean, I knew you are religious but I used to think you were a rational person more or less
Edit: damn, I watched a little bit more of the video and it seems you weren't joking. Still, hoping I'm somehow wrong. In case I am, sorry for unsubscribing but I don't enjoy lunacy. Good luck mate.
The members of the church of Satan and the Satanic temple don’t believe in Satan either- and their religion is still literally Satanic: the worship of self.
"All men are bad" is a meme and in my opinion not what "toxic masculinity" refers to.
from wikipedia: "The concept of toxic masculinity is used in academic and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misogyny and homophobia, can be considered "toxic" due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. The socialization of boys in patriarchal societies often normalizes violence, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" about bullying and aggression."
"toxic masculinity" does not imply that "all aspects of masculinity are toxic", it refers to aspects of masculinity that **can** (not necessarily **always do**) negatively impact men or those around them. The reason why these behaviors are tied specifically to masculinity is because they are often socially encouraged in boys but not in girls (though girls can also exhibit behaviors tied to toxic masculinity). For example I think interest in fighting is traditionally masculine--I have heard some trans men actually gain the urge to fight as they undergo hormone therapy, so it literally could be tied to testosterone--but as you often point out, martial arts is distinct from violence. Physical and sexual assault are disproportionately perpetrated by men (and often go unpunished in the case of sexual assault).
Personally I think people focus way too much on gender, I'm not that interested in engaging with it whether masculine or feminine. I'd rather just do what I enjoy, like watch martial arts videos on youtube lol (not to say I don't appreciate these sorts of videos from your channel). I suppose it's fine to find pride in your gender, to me it becomes toxic when your pride comes at others' expense--physically, mentally, emotionally, economically. Gender has real consequences and women far too often get the short end of the stick. Like how in the US women were originally considered chattel, not humans with rights, and couldn't even vote until 1920; and women's ability to control a fundamental aspect of their own bodies is about to be overturned. For these and other reasons I'm proud to agree with feminism, and I do my best to listen and try to understand what women and feminists have to say about their experiences with gender. I don't think there's much good reason or need to feel threatened, it's no skin off my balls. Tune out the noise coming from toxic wokeists who perform outrage for validation.
Boys willl be boys - if you think about it, hokey is violence.
Sports is what people in medical times did, except we managed to do it without killing each other.
There's something about human race that likes violence ^^ Jst a fact. And people like watching it. American football/rugby is a thing yes lol
@@aurelianspodarec2629 I am referring to violence as related to another one of Ramsey's videos: th-cam.com/video/DjfzLjmTwgU/w-d-xo.html not "physical aggression". I watch a combat sports channel after all! I have nothing against nonlethal sports. I object to most violence in other forms (physical/sexual assault, war, arguably economic violence too but that's outside the scope of this conversation).
wow i didnt expect such a based take from ramsey dewey. okay i am fully on board this train now
Same
Based on what?
this may be the most important video you have ever made
all those expressions are intended mind manipulation, of the overton window class
"I was reading the f-ing newspaper the other day" Ramsey showing his age 😂
You're allowed to say `fucking` in comments you know ^^
Whats wrong with people scared to say the word, when they are saying the word anyway, with a dash or a star... we can still read it, might as well write it how its supposed to be written.
Ramsey are you circumcised? and if so how do you feel about it one way or the other about yourself?
People don't call toxic masculine people "jerks" because not all jerks are examples of toxic masculinity. It's like saying "why are you calling it an Iphone, there's already a word for it, it's a phone" because you're denoting a particular type of phone, just like the phrase "toxic masculinity" is used to denote a particular type of jerk.
Toxic Masculinity doesn't exist, toxic personalities do... but not all toxic personalities are male or even masculine. Please stop pathologising men in a way that you would never do to women.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 I would absolutely do the same thing with a woman, toxic feminity exists so don't even try with that strawman. No one thinks toxic personalities are masculine, no one, what the phrase refers to is ideas on how men should act that are seen as harmful, essentially exaggerated negative masculine traits, it's not "man bad". It's also not meant to pathologise masculinity, the opposite in fact, it's supposed to promote healthy masculinity, whereas ignoring toxic forms of it makes young men more and more insecure.
I like when Ramsey talks about MMA and martial arts generally because he knows very well what he's talking about, but when it comes to social and political issues, he just sounds like a rabid evangelical.
@@ehs1452 - We get it, your Gender Studies Cult Leader indoctrinated you well.
I will never shave the hairs on my back, its my camouflage, its my sonar detection sensor, and my cooling protection in the heat.
I half agree on this video. My definition of toxic masculinity includes societal expections that men are pressured to conform to. This includes the notion that men can't be victims or the stereotype that men "should" be big and strong (I say this as a 240lb powerlifter lol). I think Ramsey and alot of the poeple responding positively to the rhetoric of this video would find common ground with leftists and intersectional feminists instead of the liberals and conservatives that love to weaponize identity politics (yes, conservatives do it too). Let's not forgot that Goerge Orwell, the writer of 1984, was a socialist.
"My definition of toxic masculinity includes societal expections that men are pressured to conform to."
Yeah. . . like r@pist.
"This includes the notion that men can't be victims or the stereotype that men "should" be big and strong (I say this as a 240lb powerlifter lol)."
No no no. . . it's not that men _can't be_ victims, it's that you're _actively hated_ for making clear the existence of male suffering.
"I think Ramsey and alot of the poeple responding positively to the rhetoric of this video would find common ground with leftists and intersectional feminists instead"
Feminists didn't cause the problems men are suffering from. They did, however, exacerbate and take advantage of them. Feminists (gender-communists) are the ones who lobby against male domestic violence shelters. Feminists are the ones who invented the Duluth model of domestic violence. Feminists are the ones who have assured there is almost zero public assistance for male victims of any kind. It's why they will, _literally_ start singing _Cry Me a River_ when you try to talk to them about male self-deletion. We've been fighting the battle against feminism for the right to be recognized as human beings capable of suffering for so fucking long now that the only reaction I can conjure to a claim like this is to just laugh.
"instead of the liberals and conservatives that love to weaponize identity politics (yes, conservatives do it too)."
Conservatives aren't much better on men's rights than the Democrats are. The only politician who did _anything_ positive for men in living memory is Donald Trump, who appointed a Secretary of Education who raised the standards of evidence for Title IX accusations from 'preponderance' to 'clear and convincing.' Would you like to hear what the feminist response to that was? They sent out a bunch of letters to teacher's unions, which then forwarded those letters to students, faculty, and staff in schools, screeching about how women's rights are under attack.
"Let's not forgot that Goerge Orwell, the writer of 1984, was also a socialist."
Yes, he was. . . for a time. He did not remain a socialist, and eventually (even before writing the novel in question here) abandoned his socialist beliefs, because he realized that socialists were insane and evil. Read _Road to Wigan Pier_ .
How would you feel about using the term "toxic gender norms"? I've found it cuts to the matter at hand better, and avoids pedantic debates.
@@stupidanon5941 TL; DR. Sorry, buddy.
@@anthonywestbrook2155 I barely use the word "toxic masculinity". In general, I just push for the abolishment of gender roles. Let poeple do what they want, dress like they want, be who they want. Maximize freedom, minimize harm.
@@lurkingposter while I understand your perspective here, I think we should amplify or discover/uncover the essence (philosophically, even spiritually) & meaning of both genders. Let's not avoid the fight. Let's explore masculinity in its purest and truest forms. Same with feminism. Maybe if we did that more, we could have fewer people so traumatized and vested in their/our opinion of what genders are/should be, that they ACTUALLY alter their Earth-space suit - bodies - to fit false/ fake/ true/ I don't know (twisted?) perception of who they are inside. I am of the personal opinion that the LGBTQ is a reflection of our failure as a society and culture at the cultivation of the essences of true masculinity and true femininity... Just a thought.
I wonder what Ramsey thinks of the LGBTQ community? 🤔
Servants of Satan? Of course, everyone blames Satan, because he was written as the villain in the Bible, the most reliable book of all time.
The Bible is a very reliable book compared to other anicent books
@@stargazer1405 how so
@@kirillzakharov7336 it has over 24 000 copied documents the most compared to other anicent documents
@@kirillzakharov7336 lifeway research
A lot of people misunderstand the nature of the changes to language made in 1984. They didn't just alter the meanings of words but they took away words and the concepts attached to them so unwanted ideas could not easily be discussed or even considered. I know we can understand concepts we don't have a word for, but it's more difficult to think about them in detail when we can't define them, and it becomes even more difficult to explain them to other people.
Although languages always change, I don't think the world has ever seen something like what is now happening to the English language, because the world has never been in a state anything like the current state, at any point in the past. Shakespeare and others adding thousands of words to English to enable us to easily describe things we previously couldn't has little in common with a lot of people failing to understand words and insisting on misusing them anyway.
A lot of people have no idea what words such as "epic" or "literally" actually mean, and in the case of the latter a lot of people will say something is literal when it's actually clearly figurative, hence they use the word as though it meant the opposite to its actual meaning. I remember Joe Rogan once saying "we changed the meaning of 'literally'" but I would argue that he is wrong and that what actually happened is that all meaning was taken away from it. When somebody says "you literally said that," it's no different at all to them saying "you said that", but it shows us they really want you to believe them but they lack the vocabulary to add emphasis in any meaningful way. I think this is harmful and makes the language much poorer and that it reduces our ability to communicate intricate ideas to one another. Of course, this matters less because a lot of people, especially the type who accuse others of "toxic masculinity" don't actually intend to communicate when they use words and only really want to hear themselves say certain words that vaguely signal of virtues it is demanded we must be seen to possess.
I believe the corrosion of English has very much to do with the corrosion of thought and the increase of overreaction and even hysteria. I am not trying to change the way anybody speaks and I am not condemning anybody for their choice of words. I believe the education system in the UK, where I live, is suffering horribly and was not very good when I was at school, in the 1980s. I don't wish to compel anybody else to agree with me.
If anybody had the time to spare to read this far then I thank you. :D
100% The Ministry of Thought did not come up with new words and concepts to help us talk about things and learn. They abridged language in order to limit thought. Stamping out terms like toxic masculinity, feminism, etc is exactly what Orwell warned us about.
I enjoy being a man and I'll never be ashamed of it.
Thank you for bringing up circumcision. I feel saddened every time a friend allows this barbaric ritual to be performed on his newborn. I pray that fewer and fewer people do this to their blessed children, who came into this world perfect and do not need any modification.
What are your views on the Problem of Evil? How much do you agree or disagree with this quote?:
“What a lamentable thing it is that men should blame the gods and regard us as the source of their troubles, when it is their own transgressions which bring them suffering that was not their destiny.”
Thoughtful, eloquent, and masterfully communicated. Thank you sir.
Which martial art would best combat toxic masculinity?
I dont think Toxic Masculinity as a term is really meant to refer to all Men. It was a term used in feminist literature to describe behaviors that are encouraged in men, literally toxic expressions of masculinity. I agree it's definitely been coopted and overused in context that arent really appropriate, especially online, but the Verbage is perfectly descriptive. Academic literature isnt about power dynamics, even when people online try to use it to sound smart. The actual theory in its context is perfectly valid.
But dude you literally do the thing you decry here in the video: Its really easy to Call Anything you dont like Satanic and then go to any extreme to discredit them.
Yup completely agree, Ramsay is pretty off here. Most of the comments here are also overgeneralizing and spouting rhetoric that isn’t even reflective of the real world. Yes there are extremists but most people aren’t that.
You just admitted feminists made up a negative term for one gender and didnt pull one of their butts for their own gender.
Loll
but it's not 'literally toxic', 'toxic' is obviously a metaphor meaning something is poisonous - and poisonous to what? When you examine what's always implicit in use of this term, you see there's nothing radical about it and it really just serves the conventional morality of late capitalism ie. the status quo. There's a reason everything from corporate media to the fucking CIA public relations has lapped all this jargon up, that in itself is enough to give any thinking person pause for thought
feminism and marxist ideologies and their offshoots are toxic and idiotic, not meant to help anyone, but rather to divide people for easier control, which works well.
You're the 1st guy I came across on yt that didn't mock the issue, but instead gave great arguments towards why you think that this wording of things is a problem. I love that you managed to bring in the symbolics (and point) of christianity here. Religion can be awesome when done with a cool head and a sense of rationality. Good stuff. You seem smart, but more importantly, you seem really wise. Thank you for this.
I’ve seen TH-cam comments calling the helicopter locker room banter scene in Predator “Toxic Masculinity”.
I’m sorry, but Pancho saying “strap this on your sore ass Blaine” with Billy laughing will always be a favorite of mine.
It's a good illustration of the artificial restrictions that some people can put on their rational approach to life - if you asked for input from your coach as to what you did wrong in a bout that you just lost, would you rather hear something like:
"Well, you didn't really fully commit to your takedown attempts, which is why most of them didn't work, and you didn't keep your hands tight enough, or change levels enough, with your standup."
or
"Sorry, kid, he just had Satan on his side and God didn't want you to win that one".
Many people CAN otherwise be very rational - but not in areas where they've had rationality conditioned out of them.
As soon as I saw the phrase "satanic Orwellian Newspeak" I knew that "Orwellian Newspeak" was about to be used to describe the very opposite of what Orwell was trying to highlight. I thought this guy was going to use "satanic" in a metaphorical sense alluding to it being simply "bad" in his eyes. I'd even began to write my comment thinking that.
This then suddenly took a hard turn into full on conspiracy theory territory. You put it pretty concisely however.
@@lsedge7280 - Yeah, the idea that "toxicity" and "masculinity" are somehow polar opposites, being jammed together in some kind of "Orwellian" doublethink - instead of toxic masculinity simply being a negative subcategory of masculine behavior - is a huge reach here. Orwell was, of course, criticizing attempts at reducing shades of meaning/delineation within language, which is the opposite of distinguishing toxic masculinity from masculine behavior in general.
Religion, or at least religious fundamentalism, is really the only area in society where irrational thinking can't be criticized. Archie Bunker had it pegged a long time ago:
th-cam.com/video/Te3aBL_P0IY/w-d-xo.html
@@Malt454 absolutely 100%. As someone else said, "toxic tap water" clearly refers to a subset of tapwater that is also toxic, and is not a statement that all tapwater is toxic.
His denouncement of new words and decision on a "right way" to use language is also the very thing occurring as oppression in 1984. He seems to almost realise this too which is most baffling as he goes on to say how the English language has and does change, but then when we get to the present day he takes a hard left veer into conspiracy theories!
@@lsedge7280 - Yes, it's pretty disappointing - even more so in the case of Ramsey, who I respect on other subjects - that people have to willfully misinterpret language in order to manufacture a "cause" so as to then claim "victim status" over it.
The "toxic tap water" thing is the clearest illustration I've seen yet of how the logic used here is deeply, even intentionally, flawed - thanks.
@@Malt454 Absolutely.
It sounds like you have seen more of Ramsey than I, so you can undoubtedly comment how good he is in other videos.
I found his channel via his Mr Miyagi video because I was trying to find someone to put into words how I felt about the merits/limitations of Miyagi as a mentor character in the film (vs other film mentors) with reference to real world martial arts teaching techniques I've encountered. That video seemed pretty good although it did overlook that there are a few circumstances where you need to teach something but explicitly don't want to have the student know the reason yet (useful in teaching martial arts to young kids, as some moves are vital to learn the movements too, but somewhat too dangerous to be providing the context for to a kid).
That said, I don't think I could watch Ramsey's videos going forward, given I can't justify supporting him if this is the sort of mindset he holds. Thankfully there's a lot of exceptional martial artists with far healthier mindsets and world views.
Hey ramsey question for you
Ive been having a troubling time lately with myself
Ive always loved martial arts as a kid
But ive always been socially awkward meeting new people, im a father of 2 and im 32 and im worried im gonna pass these traits on to my children
I still would like to join a martial arts gym but the fear of being in a crowd just always puts me off.
My daughter is turning 3 so in the next couple years id be looking to join her in a bjj school but i feel like i will have to take the leap first to inspire her ....
I dunno man ive been dealing with this for most of my life, maybe an inspirational video of your take on all this will help me take control of this hinderince in my life ...
Thanks man love the videos
Honestly man, I was in counseling for three years for pretty severe social anxiety. I have for the most part gotten over it thanks to a good counselor who taught me great strategies for overcoming it. I’m still never 100% okay with training at my gym because I’m not a bro-ey kinda guy and fight gyms attract this type. Not that they are bad people, I just don’t relate to them a lot so were always kinda distant to each other. But ya, my point is that you should seek professional help if possible and not feel ashamed to do so. Social anxiety sucks and it can really kneecap your ability to enjoy life.
Just join the gym and keep showing up. Your confidence will grow as you become more comfortable in using your body in a group of people walking the same journey you are. You might even discover things about your persona you didn’t even know where there. Just get out there and train.
17:46 As a black person my response: This is that white shit🤣 tryna be slick💯😂
I absolutely love this channel and what you stand for! It's very important to train body AND mind, loads of people have a strong body but their mind has fallen pray to all sorts of propaganda.
Red pilled and based Ramsey
I was working up in the mountains before i listened to this. I do retail resets. I was reseting the laundry isle and the other isle over is arts and crafts. I walked by that isle and two very large, very strong, bearded mountain men were shopping. I thought little of it.
A little while later i heard one man say to the other, "Let's go full arts and craft."
I peeked around the isle, looked at the two men and insulted their bearded manhood "Did you just say Let's go full arts and craft?"
One said, "We're shopping for mother's day, got to get stuff for the kids."
My bullshit was already defeated, but then the other said, "We're trying to get laid."
My effort to reject their beard cards was completely stuffed. I thought of Ramsey Dewey and his ideas on the pathologizing men.
Then i thought that even when men are engaging behavior that isn't very sterotypically manly they are still men. Happy, engaged kids equal happy wife. Happy wife equals sex which equals happy man.
I've personally said that one issue i have with some of my drag queen and transgender friends is that when they engage sterotypically female behavior they think it means they are female rather than realize that this behavior exists in men and is therefore also a masculine behavior.
As i contemplated all of this i found this video in my feed. The irony. Now i don't really feel bad about joking with those guys cause more than anything i was trying to make them laugh and they did, but still it left me thinking.
I could say that i was stereotyping a men into a narrow set of acceptable behaviors and that is an aspect of pathologizing men. But i could also say that i was giving other men shit so we can all have a laugh and that is one of the best traits of men. The ability to laugh at shit and the desire to make others laugh.
I am no fan of New Speak. I see in it all that you see in it. I despise the term Toxic Masculinity and found this video both brilliant and honest.
I'm shocked that you can make such a video while living in China. It shows something about the reality of China that we don't see state side.
Having said all that, Ramsey, you are a British American Westerner who lives in China and you are part of a community that is going to give a degree of shit. Being called a communist is inevitable aspect of this community's love.
But after this video i can no longer call your cowboy hat communistic. Your cowboy hat is clearly a 100% freedom loving American.
Much love, thank you for provoking so much thought.
There is something very specific and slightly complicated about this topic that I feel as a gay veteran, Christian+ many other aspects of numerous religions I've Jeet Kune Do'd into my own set of beliefs. It's a spectrum just like a lot things, the ancient Egyptians and really most ancient cultures believed that a balance between the masculine and feminine energies was closer to who we are meant to be. As he said there is a "toxic masculinity" known as bullies or simply oppressors. Real men, true men, stand up for the weak and help them become strong. Confucianism states one should be educated, artistic, compassionate, and lethal.. a balance. Jesus teaches to stand against tyranny with sword in hand, to sell your cloak and buy a sword, that if a thief comes in the night to protect thyself and if need be kill but if during the day AND are only their for your possessions to let them have them, for they are in a worse spot than you. He also preaches to Live in Love. In all that you see, in all that you do and experience live in Love. It is a powerful frequency 528hz currently used for DNA repair, and yet the emotion of love is the same; 528hz the heart Chakra. Empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, but a spine to put forth what's right and true. Matt 21 12-13 Jesus drove people out of the house of God and flipped tables and seats because they were using it as a market place! I appreciate that you call it as it is instead of walking on eggshells. The only way out of this global crisis and I mean people not having running water and food or infrastructure and so on... is if we collectively decide to move beyond, like he said self fulfilling prophecy. We are a giant electromagnet WE LITERALLY ATTRACT OUR REALITY!!! We must decide to overcome and move beyond the war of our fathers into understanding we all share a dream of prosperity and happiness for ourselves and our loved ones. That's everyone on this planet and if we realize that if we worked together it could be easily done and a dream come true..
What are you smoking and where can i buy it
If you think a word like toxic masculinity is Orwellian, then you don't know anything about George Orwell
George Orwell wrote 1984 about the BBC news company, a company he worked for as a journalist, specifically during WWII. For a bit of background, George Orwell volunteered as a British man to fight in the Spanish Civil War on the side of the Socialists/Anarchists where he fought and killed facists until he was eventually shot in the neck by a sniper and went back home. During the war, he developed an extreme hatred both for authoritarians and what he called Stalinists from Russia who he saw as equally evil to the people he was there to fight (a hatred later expressed in Animal Farm). Once he came home, he recognized that same spark of authoritarianism in his own home country and government and wrote 1984 as a warning against how media and propaganda were being used to control and subdue his countrymen for the purpose of perpetual war and ideological terror and control.
Specific to Newspeak, the intentional dumbing down of the English language is expressly said by George Orwell in his essay "Politics and the English Language" to be a tool specifically for the purpose of selling war to people who do not understand it or cannot imagine it. This sterilized speech was the kind of thing George was forced to publish when he worked for the BBC and he was sickened by the machinations of his government to make war more palatable to its citizens, and that was coming from a man who volunteered to fight in a war. I imagine that George would absolutely love a phrase like toxic masculinity, specifically because of its imagery and emotional nature. Ironically, in your insistence that the word toxic and masculine not be used together due to their inflammatory nature, you come much closer to inventing your very own newspeak than you realize.
Still don't believe me? Here is a section from 1984 where the main character, who lives in this completely dystopian world, perfectly demonstrating an attitude of toxic masculinity.
"He hated her because she was young and pretty and sexless, because he wanted to go to bed with her and would never do so, because round her sweet supple waist, which seemed to ask to encircle it with your arm, there was only the odious scarlet sash, aggressive symbol of chastity."
On the subject of words that mean everything you want them to: I've uttered "Osu" when I entered a dojo, left said dojo, took a good hit while sparring, acknowledged understanding of an instruction, dropped something heavy on my toe, psyched myself up for a set of bench presses, accepted a package from the mailman and I'm sure i've forgotten a number of situations.
this is so true what you said, Masculinity is what the world needs, especially nowadays, i like that stare you give in the camera to show you really mean what u said, and i believe firmly feminism is just about dividing and weakening society.
So what about men who don't want to follow your idea of what "masculine" means? Feminism was a movement by women against how society thinks women should behave.
In a way, "toxic masculinity" and "feminism" are indeed both ways of dividing society, between those who want a "traditional society" and those who don't want to be bound by traditions. Personally, I think all societies need that kind of division, because a society that enforces unity and "strength" through tradition, religion, political ideology or whatever is way worse.
@@dukebanerjee4710 You cannot fight reality, objectivity and biology. Any culture that downplays masculinity and confuses gender roles will eventually be wiped out and overtaken by a stronger civilization that believes the opposits. This cycle is not new and always repeats itself. No matriarchy can resist the test of time to even build a statue.
@@dukebanerjee4710 wtf did i say about "my idea of being masculine"? being a MAN is not an idea that changes, being a man is 1-providing (working) 2-protect(your own integrity and of the ones around you) 3-not being a degenerate.
@@Flex4LXBiology has nothing to do with gender roles, except in primitive societies which have not developed specialization of labor, where biology plays a critical role in survival. I'm personally thankful that modern societies have move past the limitations of biology, because I'm blind as a bat without contact lenses, and I'd be dead in a primitive society.
Masculinity is not being downplayed when people are not pressuered follow rigid gender roles, any more than accepting gay marriage downplays traditional marriage.
Also, your idea of societies that accept rigid gender roles as somehow having better survival characteristics kind of flies in the face of objective reality. When I think of societies with rigid gender roles, I think of Islamic states or Victorian England. Intolerance of gender diversity seems to follow other repressive social conditions, which leads to social unrest. The consequence is more repression (Islamic states) or revolution (England isn't what it used to be).
@@thomaskunz3089 So a man isn't a man if he's not a provider? What about situations where the wife makes way more money than the man, and it makes more financial sense for the husband to be a stay at home dad? Should a man who makes this choice be ruthlessly mocked by society?
Otto Jespersen is who wrote The Growth and Structure of English Language
I'm gonna leave this comment, then leave another at the end of the video. My first impression: masculinity and femininity are both illusions, with the exception of the influence of hormones. When I see people saying "toxic masculinity" what I hear is that a person wrongly identifies abusive behavior as "masculine." And they identify submissive behavior as "feminine." Personally, I've never met a single person who doesn't have both "masculine" and "feminine" qualities. Men and women don't have different personality types. Indoctrination by tradition is the most likely culprit for this huge misunderstanding of the human condition.
The differences between males and females, is FAR more than mere Hormones. Our very biology.. down to our reproductive organs, and Brains... are different. We think, feel and act, differently... due to these differences. Its not the traditionalist that have the problem. Its the radical "Progressives", that have a problem accepting such Factual Data.
@@johndough8115 that's proven false. Look it up
Plenty of men and women have videos on TH-cam and/or have done things that defy your opinion entirely
Ramsey, I want you to know you're the only overtly religious person I'm subscribed to on TH-cam. You do an excellent job of facing the darkness, and I think that may be the reason you're so down to Earth and realistic with your interpretations of the Bible.
Toxic masculinity refers to people insecure in their own masculinity who then use their perceived notions of masculinity they got from growing up to make themselves feel better about their situation. Masculinity isn't the issue. It's the people who take it to the extreme and make asses of themselves, thus making it toxic. Thank you for the video!
no it is a term used to try and make men socially undesirable and try and force a change in behavior. It is nothing but social politics. Completely subjective drivel and namecalling.
@@lakkakka I'm sorry that's how you perceive an entire sociological field of study. Thank you for the comment!
toxicfemininity is way more of an issue theses days. insecure women constantly showing their bodies on the internet. This empowerment of women giving them this false belief of strength. All these movies brainwashing them to think they're superheroes.
a cocky man cannot be considered toxic. other men like to sit in the shadows and other men like to sit in the sun. those who sit in the shadows are ashamed of themselves so they stay quiet. who knows what they've done.
It is applied to aspects of behavior that are no more "male" in character then they are "female". It is also frequently apllied to non toxic masculine behaviours..
It's a crap concept applied poorly and unevenly. Ramsey is 100% correct to tear it a new one.
@@jex5463 the study is a waste of time since it does nothing to help it just creates more labels to ease into more discrimination, etc. It is ridiculous and a field full of people that might have wasted a lot of money on a useless degree and now they want their money's worth even if it means scamming the world and trying to convince others of the importance.
Different from Ramsey it is the same nonsense the church pulls acting like their are people with a higher authority on which subjective stuff should be considered objective by everyone else. It doesn't hold true outside the human mind.
All human behavior is natural human behavior. Even this ridiculous social gaming that a lot of people do. I prefer actual concrete and workable information. And I'll decide for me what means what and what should be impportant.
Amber Heard agrees with the idea of a poop sandwich...
A lot of the time I hear people arguing, they don’t know what they’re arguing about. The points they are making don’t disprove the other persons claims and they don’t know what the other person thinks, nor why they think it
Hey Ramsey Dewey in Shanghai, China,
My new kickboxing coach teaches us low kicks which are basically snap kicks, and hitting with the instep instead of the shin.
What do you think about this ?
If you get a leg kick checked on your foot, your foot will be badly injured. That will be the end of the fight.
Yeah, it seemed weird to me too.
Thanks for your answer
“Why does language evolve over time?! I want language to stay the same forever!”
It’s not some Orwellian conspiracy that people are changing the definition of things. As humans evolve, our words adopt new meanings. Times change. Languages change. It’s a normal thing, not some conspiracy by the woke people. This makes me think of that meme, “the left wants to take away your penis.”
The cowardly things that some men do to bully people are incorrectly taught as being acceptable behavior BECAUSE it’s incorrectly conflated with masculine behavior. And in most civilizations, men>women, so masculine=good. So you get aspects of masculinity that are, first of all, very harmful; that also shouldn’t be considered as masculinity in the first place. Those things would be examples of toxic masculinity.
Yes, but "toxic masculinity" is too vague a phrase. I'm not convinced so general a term that may conflate being a man with being toxic, is helpful. It's not the innate state of men we must steel ourselves against, or some sort of original sin we must redeem ourselves from. If we want to change behaviour we must be able to clearly state what that behaviour is and not use a term which could mean anything you want it to mean.
"[...] shouldn't be considered masculinity in the first place. Those things would be examples of toxic masculinity."
Do you see the problem ?
@@stephena1196 no, it’s not. It’s referring to a very specific set of behaviors. You would know this if you googled what they are.
@@BiggityBoggity8095 I did that and I may be wrong but, "Attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated or expected of men and regarded as having a negative impact" sounds fairly vague and imprecise to me.
i thought that only fighters who have reached the stage of long wispy white hair, eyebrows, beards and mustaches could impart such wisdom.
OK, so I get saying the term "toxic masculinity" is meant to trigger a response. You can use jerk, a**hole, womanizer, and whatever else. I do got a problem with you believing that some satanic conspiracy is behind everything. Are you mentally ok, I mean that doesn't even sound like you man. I have never once heard you talk like that and it is concerning. You have mentioned your religious beliefs before and that is fine, but what was that?
Satanic = extremely evil or wicked
As I said in this video, it’s important to look words up and learn the language.
@@RamseyDewey I get that, I know you are talking about the meaning of words. How words can divide people. To start calling the manipulation of words a satanic conspiracy though actually sounds like some of my mental health clients. I worked in mental health off and on throughout my life and hearing that just brings about concerns. Also, another point you made, what school of feminism are you saying is evil? There are different schools of thought when comes to that ideology and making a generalization doesn't do it justice?
@@beyondthestaticnoise you’re the one taking about a conspiracy, not me.
Hi Ramsey, I highly appreciate your views, and learn a lot from the inner discourse I have with you thanks to your videos. On the occasion of this video's topic for example, to not view masculine attributes as toxic, but as potentially valuable, and to positively identify for example with my strength and aggression. However, this particular video twists my mind, and I don't agree with your view, because I understand the word combination "toxic masculinity" not as saying "masculine attributes are toxic (all and in general)", although I agree that it rings that bell (and it did for me). But now I understand "toxic" as an adjective stating that the excess execution of masculine attributes such as strength and aggression has the potential to become harmful. Like any other attributes if applied compulsory can become toxic (maybe we'll even find a meaning in your example of "toxic blackness" along this line of thinking). From this viewpoint, your video appears like a long and overly aggressive rant against sophism - man must fight back-style ;) but also missing an aspect that has become important to me to understand certain tendencies in a world of increasing aggression.
Hey, just my five cents ;)
It's true that "toxic masculinity" is often used disingenuously, but I still think it's a valid term to describe a person using masculine traits in a toxic manner.
And, when it comes to circumcision, please do cite sources or something reliable. Exposing myself a bit... I did have that surgery as an adult, by choice, and I do not regret it one bit, it has only given me benefits. Aesthetically, I do not think it looks better or worse, it looks only different. And it has also been "battle tested", with 0 female complaints. I remember researching a bit before the surgery, and I did find some medical controversy, but most of what I found at the time was positive.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
its removal was put there to hurt people to control them by using pain to condition them. if that doesn't tell you it's bad, then not much will. As for females, the foreskin acts as a lubricant would, making sex easier. and increasing slightly the girth, which is very important to female enjoyment. it also makes sex better for yourself, as over time, without the foreskin, the glans desensitises significantly. i've slept with several girls that have a previous partner count over 50, and on most occasions been the only uncut man they've been with. all of them without prompting of any sort said it was the best they had and it felt better, this wasn't to do with size really, i'm higher than average, but 6 inches isn't pornstar material. I also have no trouble getting anal sex, presumeably the foreskin lubricates and lowers impact in that department too. in fact, every girl even told me she enjoyed it for the first time. I want to think that maybe i'm just good and considerate in bed, but there is a strong chance remaining intact has strongly impacted these results. as for cleanliness, you wash it when you shower. simple.
Why is it used often disingenously though?
why is it called toxic masculinity specifically.....? They did not call it harmfull gender norms, this was not a one off phrase in an article. Its a bona fide expression used only for men. Why was it necessary to focus something that affects both genders only on men? When we see a woman lie about loving a man for his money we call her a gold digger, we do not say toxic femininity. There is no phrase toxic femininity in the public zeitgeist, so why is it that when the idea is applied to women it is framed as a societal problem but when the idea is applied to men its is treated as toxic.....?
We all understand the idea itself, its the name that is being called into question as well as the use of the idea without context to put down men. Imagine calling ice
@@httohot a rose by any other name...is it still a rose?
@@aikenodubitan5256 Yeah but people will stop buying roses if they were called shit sticks or cancer blooms. They will buy other flowers with better sounding names and roses will stop being popular and well loved.
Names and titles effect how we interact with a thing. A noble may be less powerfull and influential than a merchant but people will give the noble more respect simply because of the title.
You are nigerian so you should think about why people need to call out their titles all the time at events (chief, dr, engineer, businessman etc.) Its because other Nigerians will give them more respect for that title even if that title has nothing to do with the event at hand.
Hard disagree with the framing of the question and response.
I agree insofar as that getting caught into semantic debates where you lose *meaning* are pointless. I also agree some terms become so inflammatory that they are not productive words to use in a conversation. I disagree that 'toxic masculinity' is this in every context.
I'm not going to argue that the word is used well and constructively all the time. But because language is a contextual thing, 'toxic masculinity' is not a toxic phrase inherently. In fact when I've used it to refer to the pathology of male victimhood, telling men they aren't allowed to share feelings, that they just have to 'man up' and take it instead of being able to express themselves fully **this** is what I've considered to be 'toxic masculinity'. The truly toxic traits that are associated with masculinity that we take for granted, that we could *remove* from positive masculinity.
Conversely 'positive' masculinity, i.e. sharing in feelings in a brotherly way and building bonds of friendship that allow for expression. Striving for strength for the sake of being the best you can be to those you care about. These are things that should be celebrated. I have not seen the term toxic masculinity to degrade these things (I'm not denying that some might use it that way).
It is not orwellian newspeak to delineate between positive and negative (toxic) stereotypical masculine traits. If the word is only used like that, I'm against it's use but I've never felt the term used to only degrade men (as a man myself) and this is not because I haven't reflected on the meaning of the word.
I think Ramsey Dewey here is a bit uncharitable to how others use the word. If you include and *emphasize* the existence and *importance* of positive masculinity I don't see the problem?
Likewise with profanity, I avoid it myself; but profanity *does* have a proper use. The emphasis profanity provides dies when you over use it, but there is a time and a place when someone who never swears does and it leaves an impact because of how out of place it seems.
I'll also bite the bullet on 'toxic blackness', 'toxic chineseness' or whatever you might have. I'll agree that the phrasing is inflammatory, but the concept of toxic cultural chinese family values for example? They certainly exist and I've felt them firsthand. You'll find aspects of every culture that are toxic. The important thing is to not generalize people to only the toxic aspects.
No, it's not. "Toxic masulinity" is about traits that are commonly associated with male's. It's a sociological construct, useful to describe certain behavior that is found (mostly) in Men. That has nothing to do with demonising Male's in general, since being male is not confined to having a certain sets of traits, is it?
So...should there be a term like "toxic femininity"? Sure, and we all know what that could look like: Overly passive and pleasing, focussed on looks rather than intelligence, and so on.
BUT the thing is, at the end of the day, Male's who engage in toxic behavior are usually more dangerous to others. Oh and by the way it's not only about aggressivness, the term also describes male's who, for example, drink to much because they never learned to properly adress their feelings or think they need to prove their worth by living especially dangerous lives.
No one says you can't enjoy fighting with someone who chose to meet you in the ring, who's trained etc. But the question remains, (which can only be answered by everyone for themself): Why do you enjoy it? What made you choose this specific sport?
"Toxic femininity : Overly passive and pleasing. Focusing on looks".
Bruh
Ramsey, you mentioned "sophistry" at least twice in the video but you did not define it even once :( I've been crying and shaking for hours!
Ehhh, I think there’s some credence with the term “toxic masculinity”, simply meaning negative behaviours associated with the traditional idea of being “masculine”. (For e.g. the myth that fathers can’t be loving, the idea that men can’t show their emotions, etc). It’s not an attack on masculinity as a whole, and it’s not to say masculinity isn’t essential in society. I think a lot of people misinterpret the word to mean “all masculinity is toxic”
Sophistry isn't an argument.
"Toxic masculinity" is applied to aspects of behavior that are no more "male" in character then they are "female". It is also frequently apllied to non toxic, stereotypically masculine behaviours.
It's a crap concept applied poorly and unevenly. Ramsey is 100% correct to tear it a new one.
@@bandit6272 if people around you are applying “toxic mascunltiy” to behaviours that are inherently more male then female, then they are misusing the term. That’s more a problem with some of the people who use the term than an issue with the term itself. I’m personally glad some aspects of “traditional masculinity” are considered to be toxic. I’m glad men are able to share their emotions and open up about mental health without being stigmatised for example
If you say you see a red car, nobody thinks that you mean all cars are red
@@averagegoslingenthusiast2033 What aspects of "traditional masculinity" do you think are toxic, and how are those behaviors male in character instead of human in character?
@@averagegoslingenthusiast2033 I agree with your example, but why consider it masculine? And if such behavior is masculine, what about toxic femininity?
Is there a grammar misunderstanding here? The word toxic in that phrase is a qualifier that reduces the scope of the thing being condemned. It means macho behaviour this is also toxic. It's not labelling ALL masculine acts or all men as toxic per se. Opening car doors for women is traditionally masculine, but it's just polite. It's not toxic and it's not patronising. Only the most earnest and contentious women would object to it. If we change things because of the angriest 1% people will keep using fake anger to win society-wide arguments.