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This guy is too hooked on empirical data to back his opinion. When it comes to trauma, it is difficult to assign, simple data. To compare a man who gets mugged in a park to say, a woman who is violently raped and bashed in a park and assign empirical data to each individual person in both scenarios is reductionistic. So many variables come into play. A rape is a violation of body, mind and the soul of a woman and even the word trauma does not cut it. In both scenarios there is also the past experiences of the person including childhood. If the woman was SA in her childhood (which so many women were), then that can compound it further and could cause her to completely shut down. I can see where this guys approach can help for sure, however he is residing in the world of behavioural therapy which does not reach the depth of emotional memory and fear relating to many 'traumas' that can occur. I suppose I am saying that people are complicated, and no amount of data can account for all variables. Trauma needs to be approached wholistically and with great sensitivity. I find the work of Gabor Matte much more relatable and caring and has a much better understanding of how humans function. I haven't even touched on the effect of trauma on the spiritual wellbeing of people either. Science has a bit to go before they incorporate that into their theories. People like Gabor are doing that. I'm sure this guy helps many people and yes, he seems to know his stuff, but trauma therapy is evolving past the 'scientific', ticky box data driven model into a more human, wholistic model which is what is needed.

The video that I was waiting for. Thank you!

Thank you for clarifying why I procrastinate, to avoid intense emotions. Knowledge is power. Thank you again!

This was interesting and helpful. I have learned (the hard way) that there is a direct correlation between my anxiety level and how much I procrastinate. Fear and anxiety are uncomfortable and I know that avoidance of things that make me fearful and anxious just make the fear and anxiety worse, so I like your idea of cutting things into small chunks as maybe that would not be so scary.

Your newsletter and these videos have helped me so much through a difficult time. I'd like to suggest gently that you investigate how your voice is sitting on your vocal folds. There's a lot of vocal fry going on, and for highly sensitive people it can be off-putting and the reason why they click off your video in the first 10 seconds. It's very simple to train your voice not to fry like that. I bet you could figure it out in no time. In the long run, you'll have a healthier voice too! So again, I only say this with tremendous respect for what you do. Thank you for your service. And I will return to your videos!

What I really struggle to understand is when people ask for written transcripts or summaries. If you truly have a procrastination challenge and it’s preventing you from moving forward positively in your life, then finding half an hour at some point in your week to understand exactly what to do about it, is unreasonable?? If you want written form, take notes after scheduling the time to watch it. If there was a 2 min video summarising the main points, guess what? You wouldn’t take any action because it was too easy to listen but lacking in any detail. Nuance and detail matters A LOT. Get into the habit of accepting this, schedule time, make notes and take action. Change happens when you accept responsibility for the fact that it requires rising to meet the challenge rather than asking life to be flexible to your short term requirements of making things seemingly easy, but in actual fact, pointless when it comes to you growing as a person

Thanks for the insightful and clear message shared on this video, just came to my mind the completely opposite approach to tackle procrastination followed and taught by David Goggins, what are your thoughts about it? It’s good material for a video, just saying 😅

Congrats Nick ! In my opinion, one of your best videos!

Thank you as always. This talk is helpful to me 🤩

Very helpful! Thank you

So helpful. Thank you

Love this but would greatly prefer it in written form!

Hi Nick, thanks for valuable content. I’m suggesting you to put timestamps, it may help your channel grow faster. Cheers!

So helpful! Thank you

32 min was too long to highlight 3 things in a procrastination video. I had to put off watching. Did I miss some text or summary on screen or in description??

I love this guy. Been a follower for a long time.

I'm going to try the worry on paper or brain dumping exercise at a set time and see how this works. I have struggled with sleep anxiety off and on for years. Thanks and I really enjoy your content!

By perpetually avoiding regret, your whole life becomes a regret.

You mention having a reward after the scheduled worry time. Is that something you recommend or is the satisfaction of ripping it up enough?

Thank you Nick, we need more people like you and Daniel Erichsen for people that struggle with sleep anxiety/ insomnia. You are amazing 🙏

Extremely helpful. Your analogies really helped me grasp the “why” behind doing what you propose. Thank you so much Nick. I will start using your advice starting today!

Super helpful info, although I think it could have been presented in a lot less time.

Thank you

Thank you

1. Regret is a by-product of ambition 2. Regret is a sign of emotional maturity 3. Regret fosters empathy Regret as an essential part of who we are and embracing it can be a powerful way to move forward.

Guess I'm gonna cancel my tattoo appt. It was gonna say "No Regerts." :P :P

Nick! Your videos are giving me such peace of mind. Had a scan done at Amen clinic. It creeped me out but gave me some insight ultimately. I’m left with trying to find ways to calm it down or use other parts of it. The collaborations with Emma are really good videos as well. Please do a comprehensive video on PTSD and how to cope or handle it.

First time I watched your video and liked what I saw. Feel motivated to join your course, although right now I don't have the money. I'll join your course when I have the money.

Nick, this same process for trying to deal with negative self talk? If I pay it attention, it continues and/or grows, so validate and move on?

I always take notes. #4 really made sense. "Processing emotions": I have ADHD, an information processing difference plus one of SELF-REGULATION. Very grateful for this video.

I like your content but find it hard to listen to your voice. It's like you're trying to whisper while talking low. Could you project just a little more please?

Great video! 👍

I like your initial comment about how when you tell people you are a psychologist, they go "so are you psychoanalizing me now?" I've gone through an extended period of personal growth, especially due to some really challenging circumstances in my life. Your articles and videos have been a real help to me. I've learned so much about myself, my behavior, thinking habits, etc. But with that, I've "outgrown" a couple long term friends. In short, I've changed, and friends haven't. They feel threatened by me it seems -- one accused me of "psychoanalizing people" Just an observation. I'm going to keep growing, with compassions for myself and others. Just us humans here.

Excellent tips and video 🎉

They take risks

Thanks Nick, very insightful. There were a couple in there that I now realised needed more attention

Check out "Untethered Soul", written by Michael Singer, if your self-talk is an issue. He also has TH-cam videos.

I’m sorry but he just goes on and on…

I love when you talked about the word “toxic” and how it is often never defined, and people tend to overuse the word on top of not knowing what the word means hahaha. It can mean anything from some who is truly a harmful person, to certain unpleasent behaviors people can exhibit. This got me curious, do you think the word “trauma” is often used like the word “toxic”? Used, in the sense that it is often very overused, and there is no clear definition. I hear this word a lot when people are describing their past, but the word can mean so many different things in different scenarios. For example, someone can say they experienced trauma due to an abusive parent growing up but someone can also use the word “trauma” to describe an unpleasent coworker that made you not look forward to going to work. Basically, i’ve heard it used to describe longterm situations that would genuinely cause anyone psychological distress, to situations that sound uncomfortable/unpleasant but not necessarily harming in the long run. And then of course, everything else in between. Like you stated in your video, you don’t believe anyone can be 100% anything (like 100% completely toxic, given that we can all agree on what the word means). So, can a situation be 100% traumatizing? As a therapist, what is your opinion on the word “trauma”? Is it a word that people give their own definition too? Is it a word that is often vague and subjective? Just curious. Thanks for a great video, I really enjoyed it!

Dear Nick. Very nice video you made! And yes I´m in a relationship with a very extreme person, that forces me often to say that I like to stop the relationship. Only after I´ve said that, things are open to discuss and set boundaries. But its very challenging and unhealthy for me to go that far. But hé............it seems that every time this happens it still works......... now we are in the process of communicating how we can avoid that moment to say that you want to stop the relationship.

Super helpful video! My mom has very troubling behaviors and is incapable of understanding how they affect others. When folks don’t do what she wants, she pulls the nuclear option of cutting them off. She has done this repeatedly with many folks throughout her life, her two daughters included. Then when she is over her upset, she expects everything to be happy and as if she never did this. The last time she cut me off, I decided it was final. This has given me the peace I need. Sad but true. Watching this video though really helps me to think about all of this in a more pragmatic, clear-eyed manner though (because, yeah, of course there have been LOTS of hot emotions over the many years!)

This was very, very, helpful. I have a "problematic student" and just don't have the coping skills for their "behaviors". This helps me frame my response to their behaviors, and managing them, rather than focusing on the individual and the angst they're causing me.

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Thank you

If you have a good spiritual foundation you learn that God validates You, not man.

Very helpful and I do read your articles weekly tu

Totally agree with you that social media can be a positive resource, if used correctly. I've found A LOT of really good mental health information on TH-cam and Instagram. And I've joined FaceBook groups for some of my hobbies (e.g. tin whistle, ballet), that boost my confidence by connecting me with others who are pursuing similar interests. The key is to "winnow out the chaff" -- pay attention to the things on social media that actually make you feel good about yourself, and disregard the things that make you feel "less than."

Very much spot on in my case! Thank you for sharing this perspective and inspiring me to be the hero of my story!

You are simply superb Nick. Every video nails down the hidden emotions clearly and it really helped me to identify them if not able to fully process them. Thanks for the insights on this chronic irritability.

Great video!