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Nick Wignall
United States
เข้าร่วมเมื่อ 11 ม.ค. 2024
Hi, my name's Nick Wignall 👋
I'm a clinical psychologist passionate about helping people unlock their potential by learning to manage their emotions better.
Most of us are pretty good at supporting our friends when they’re struggling: We listen empathetically, we reframe worries and fears objectively, we validate difficult feelings without judgment, etc.
But we tend to treat ourselves and our own struggles much differently…
→ We criticize ourselves for feeling anxious, which only makes the anxiety worse.
→ We ignore our stress until it’s so overwhelming that we slip into self-defeating behaviors like stress-eating and procrastination.
→ We get judgmental with ourselves the minute we feel lazy, which only saps our motivation further.
I believe the heart of emotional health is learning to respond to your own difficult thoughts and emotions like you would respond to a friend who was struggling-with clarity, curiosity, and kindness.
And that's what The Friendly Mind is all about :)
I'm a clinical psychologist passionate about helping people unlock their potential by learning to manage their emotions better.
Most of us are pretty good at supporting our friends when they’re struggling: We listen empathetically, we reframe worries and fears objectively, we validate difficult feelings without judgment, etc.
But we tend to treat ourselves and our own struggles much differently…
→ We criticize ourselves for feeling anxious, which only makes the anxiety worse.
→ We ignore our stress until it’s so overwhelming that we slip into self-defeating behaviors like stress-eating and procrastination.
→ We get judgmental with ourselves the minute we feel lazy, which only saps our motivation further.
I believe the heart of emotional health is learning to respond to your own difficult thoughts and emotions like you would respond to a friend who was struggling-with clarity, curiosity, and kindness.
And that's what The Friendly Mind is all about :)
3 Psychological Reasons You Procrastinate
Here's what most people GET WRONG about procrastination: It's NOT a productivity problem, it's a psychology problem. In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall shares 3 psychological causes of chronic procrastination plus a handful of practical tips to stop procrastinating.
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The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
🎯 NICK'S PROCRASTINATION COURSE
Finding Focus: nickwignall.com/finding-focus
🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS
Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER
The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
🎯 NICK'S PROCRASTINATION COURSE
Finding Focus: nickwignall.com/finding-focus
🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS
Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
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3 Ways to Stop Sleep Anxiety
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There's a HUGE MISTAKE most people with sleep anxiety make... They think about it as a sleep problem, when really it's an anxiety problem. In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall shares 3 practical ways to reduce sleep anxiety for good. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 😇 NICK'S ANXIETY COURSE Creating Calm: nickwignall.com/creating-calm 😴 ...
A Psychologist Explains: 3 Reasons Regret Is Good
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We all hear the advice to live your life without regrets. But is that advice really good? In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall explains why we should actually embrace regret and shares 3 specific reasons why. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
7 Mental Habits of Highly Successful People
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The most successful people aren't just smart and hard-working, they cultivate the best habits-specifically, the best mental habits that keep them emotionally strong and resilient. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
How to Set Boundaries with Toxic People
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Is it really possible to set boundaries with toxic people? In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall breaks down 5 key ideas you need to understand about healthy boundaries, plus why the term "toxic people" is unhelpful. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
How Can I Stop Social Media from Destroying My Self-Esteem?
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Does social media cause low self-esteem? In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall answers a reader question by making that case that it isn't social media so much as a lack of agency that leads to low self-esteem. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
3 Psychological Causes of Chronic Irritability
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Being irritable once in a while is annoying, but chronic irritability can be a major problem... In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall walks through 3 psychological causes of chronic irritability-and how to manage them effectively so that you can feel less irritable and live more aligned with your best self. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
3 Ways to Stop Bad Moods
มุมมอง 2.2Kหลายเดือนก่อน
The way most people try to stop bad moods is all wrong and usually leads to the bad mood getting worse. In this video, psychologist Nick Wignall walks through 3 healthy ways to manage bad moods-or even avoid them altogether. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
3 Ways to Stop Intrusive Thoughts in a Healthy Way
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💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 🔵 MINDFULNESS TRAINING GUIDE www.thefriendlymind.com/mindfulness-training-for-attentional-control/ 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
If You Get Emotional, Is It All In Your Head?
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💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
4 Habits That Cause Low Self Esteem
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💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
6 Expert Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety
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Psychologist Nick Wignall and therapist Emma McAdam (@TherapyinaNutshell ) share their favorite tips for overcoming social anxiety. 💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ ⚒️ LINKS & RESOURCES FROM THE VIDEO → Painfully Shy by Barbara and Gregory Markway www.amazon.com/Painfully-Shy-Overcome-Anxiety-Reclaim/dp/0312316232 → The Assertiveness Workbo...
4 Psychological Reasons You're Indecisive
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💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 😇 NICK'S ANXIETY COURSE Creating Calm: nickwignall.com/creating-calm 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
5 Ways to Beat Performance Anxiety
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💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/ 😇 NICK'S ANXIETY COURSE Creating Calm: nickwignall.com/creating-calm 🛡️ NICK'S EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE MASTERCLASS Mood Mastery: moodmastery.com
3 Depression Risk Factors Nobody Thinks About
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JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER The Friendly Mind: www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/
4 Anger Myths (That Keep You Feeling Angry)
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Why Emotional Suppression Is Actually Good (If You Do It Right)
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The End of Trauma with Dr. George Bonanno
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3 Ways to Help Anxious People (Like a Pro)
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Why Emotional Intelligence Is Overrated
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This guy is too hooked on empirical data to back his opinion. When it comes to trauma, it is difficult to assign, simple data. To compare a man who gets mugged in a park to say, a woman who is violently raped and bashed in a park and assign empirical data to each individual person in both scenarios is reductionistic. So many variables come into play. A rape is a violation of body, mind and the soul of a woman and even the word trauma does not cut it. In both scenarios there is also the past experiences of the person including childhood. If the woman was SA in her childhood (which so many women were), then that can compound it further and could cause her to completely shut down. I can see where this guys approach can help for sure, however he is residing in the world of behavioural therapy which does not reach the depth of emotional memory and fear relating to many 'traumas' that can occur. I suppose I am saying that people are complicated, and no amount of data can account for all variables. Trauma needs to be approached wholistically and with great sensitivity. I find the work of Gabor Matte much more relatable and caring and has a much better understanding of how humans function. I haven't even touched on the effect of trauma on the spiritual wellbeing of people either. Science has a bit to go before they incorporate that into their theories. People like Gabor are doing that. I'm sure this guy helps many people and yes, he seems to know his stuff, but trauma therapy is evolving past the 'scientific', ticky box data driven model into a more human, wholistic model which is what is needed.
The video that I was waiting for. Thank you!
Thank you for clarifying why I procrastinate, to avoid intense emotions. Knowledge is power. Thank you again!
You're very welcome!
This was interesting and helpful. I have learned (the hard way) that there is a direct correlation between my anxiety level and how much I procrastinate. Fear and anxiety are uncomfortable and I know that avoidance of things that make me fearful and anxious just make the fear and anxiety worse, so I like your idea of cutting things into small chunks as maybe that would not be so scary.
Yup, such a small but powerful idea!
Your newsletter and these videos have helped me so much through a difficult time. I'd like to suggest gently that you investigate how your voice is sitting on your vocal folds. There's a lot of vocal fry going on, and for highly sensitive people it can be off-putting and the reason why they click off your video in the first 10 seconds. It's very simple to train your voice not to fry like that. I bet you could figure it out in no time. In the long run, you'll have a healthier voice too! So again, I only say this with tremendous respect for what you do. Thank you for your service. And I will return to your videos!
Thanks, Elizabeth! What is "vocal fry"?
@@TheFriendlyMind en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocal_fry_register
What I really struggle to understand is when people ask for written transcripts or summaries. If you truly have a procrastination challenge and it’s preventing you from moving forward positively in your life, then finding half an hour at some point in your week to understand exactly what to do about it, is unreasonable?? If you want written form, take notes after scheduling the time to watch it. If there was a 2 min video summarising the main points, guess what? You wouldn’t take any action because it was too easy to listen but lacking in any detail. Nuance and detail matters A LOT. Get into the habit of accepting this, schedule time, make notes and take action. Change happens when you accept responsibility for the fact that it requires rising to meet the challenge rather than asking life to be flexible to your short term requirements of making things seemingly easy, but in actual fact, pointless when it comes to you growing as a person
Missed the point. Lots of people read faster than listen.
Thanks for the insightful and clear message shared on this video, just came to my mind the completely opposite approach to tackle procrastination followed and taught by David Goggins, what are your thoughts about it? It’s good material for a video, just saying 😅
Say more...
Congrats Nick ! In my opinion, one of your best videos!
Thank you, Michel! Always appreciate your encouragement :)
Thank you as always. This talk is helpful to me 🤩
You're very welcome!
Very helpful! Thank you
You bet!
So helpful. Thank you
Of course! Glad it was helpful :)
Love this but would greatly prefer it in written form!
I agree. I really wish these had transcripts.
You can access the transcript by clicking the "more ...". When the full description section is open you will see a button you can click to view the transcript.
Thank you! I send out the written version in my newsletter the following week.
Hi Nick, thanks for valuable content. I’m suggesting you to put timestamps, it may help your channel grow faster. Cheers!
So helpful! Thank you
You're very welcome!
32 min was too long to highlight 3 things in a procrastination video. I had to put off watching. Did I miss some text or summary on screen or in description??
I love this guy. Been a follower for a long time.
I appreciate it!
I'm going to try the worry on paper or brain dumping exercise at a set time and see how this works. I have struggled with sleep anxiety off and on for years. Thanks and I really enjoy your content!
You're welcome! Good luck
By perpetually avoiding regret, your whole life becomes a regret.
You mention having a reward after the scheduled worry time. Is that something you recommend or is the satisfaction of ripping it up enough?
Either way… maybe experiment with it. Sometimes it’s nice to have a brief calming activity afterwards… going for a walk, reading, etc
Thank you Nick, we need more people like you and Daniel Erichsen for people that struggle with sleep anxiety/ insomnia. You are amazing 🙏
You’re very welcome!
Extremely helpful. Your analogies really helped me grasp the “why” behind doing what you propose. Thank you so much Nick. I will start using your advice starting today!
Glad it was helpful :)
Super helpful info, although I think it could have been presented in a lot less time.
Agreed. the length is giving me anxiety!
Thank you
Thank you
1. Regret is a by-product of ambition 2. Regret is a sign of emotional maturity 3. Regret fosters empathy Regret as an essential part of who we are and embracing it can be a powerful way to move forward.
Guess I'm gonna cancel my tattoo appt. It was gonna say "No Regerts." :P :P
Regerts would have been a Regret 😂
How about "Bring on the regrets" :)
🤣🤣🤣
Nick! Your videos are giving me such peace of mind. Had a scan done at Amen clinic. It creeped me out but gave me some insight ultimately. I’m left with trying to find ways to calm it down or use other parts of it. The collaborations with Emma are really good videos as well. Please do a comprehensive video on PTSD and how to cope or handle it.
First time I watched your video and liked what I saw. Feel motivated to join your course, although right now I don't have the money. I'll join your course when I have the money.
Nick, this same process for trying to deal with negative self talk? If I pay it attention, it continues and/or grows, so validate and move on?
In general, yes. AVA: Acknowledge, Validate, Act on your values is the formula that is optimal for just about any difficult inner experience whether it's intrusive thoughts, painful emotions, or negative self-talk
@@TheFriendlyMind Thank you, Nick! I appreciate your reply. And also the emphasis on values in it. I keep forgetting!!
I always take notes. #4 really made sense. "Processing emotions": I have ADHD, an information processing difference plus one of SELF-REGULATION. Very grateful for this video.
Thanks David!
I like your content but find it hard to listen to your voice. It's like you're trying to whisper while talking low. Could you project just a little more please?
@lydiakaiser5605 -You can always turn on closed captions and turn the volume down. People can rarely change their own voice and this is Nick’s voice. He isn’t purposefully speaking low and not projecting.
I will work on it, thanks for the feedback
Great video! 👍
Thank you :)
I like your initial comment about how when you tell people you are a psychologist, they go "so are you psychoanalizing me now?" I've gone through an extended period of personal growth, especially due to some really challenging circumstances in my life. Your articles and videos have been a real help to me. I've learned so much about myself, my behavior, thinking habits, etc. But with that, I've "outgrown" a couple long term friends. In short, I've changed, and friends haven't. They feel threatened by me it seems -- one accused me of "psychoanalizing people" Just an observation. I'm going to keep growing, with compassions for myself and others. Just us humans here.
Excellent tips and video 🎉
Thank you, glad it was helpful!
They take risks
Thanks Nick, very insightful. There were a couple in there that I now realised needed more attention
You're very welcome, Alex!
Check out "Untethered Soul", written by Michael Singer, if your self-talk is an issue. He also has TH-cam videos.
I’m sorry but he just goes on and on…
Maybe there's an 8th habit. A PMA...
That’s kind of the point. Why are you here if you’re not gonna listen to him
You can turn up the speed of the video or just skim through the transcript.
I am a bit long-winded :)
I definitely sound smarter on 1.5x speed :)
I love when you talked about the word “toxic” and how it is often never defined, and people tend to overuse the word on top of not knowing what the word means hahaha. It can mean anything from some who is truly a harmful person, to certain unpleasent behaviors people can exhibit. This got me curious, do you think the word “trauma” is often used like the word “toxic”? Used, in the sense that it is often very overused, and there is no clear definition. I hear this word a lot when people are describing their past, but the word can mean so many different things in different scenarios. For example, someone can say they experienced trauma due to an abusive parent growing up but someone can also use the word “trauma” to describe an unpleasent coworker that made you not look forward to going to work. Basically, i’ve heard it used to describe longterm situations that would genuinely cause anyone psychological distress, to situations that sound uncomfortable/unpleasant but not necessarily harming in the long run. And then of course, everything else in between. Like you stated in your video, you don’t believe anyone can be 100% anything (like 100% completely toxic, given that we can all agree on what the word means). So, can a situation be 100% traumatizing? As a therapist, what is your opinion on the word “trauma”? Is it a word that people give their own definition too? Is it a word that is often vague and subjective? Just curious. Thanks for a great video, I really enjoyed it!
Thank you! And yes, I think a lot about how similar dynamics play out with trauma. I did a video on this if you're entered: th-cam.com/video/qUgmS1AwG_w/w-d-xo.html Also, this article on How I Think About Trauma might be interesting: nickwignall.com/how-to-think-about-trauma/
@@TheFriendlyMindthank you! this makes more sense to me now
Dear Nick. Very nice video you made! And yes I´m in a relationship with a very extreme person, that forces me often to say that I like to stop the relationship. Only after I´ve said that, things are open to discuss and set boundaries. But its very challenging and unhealthy for me to go that far. But hé............it seems that every time this happens it still works......... now we are in the process of communicating how we can avoid that moment to say that you want to stop the relationship.
Super helpful video! My mom has very troubling behaviors and is incapable of understanding how they affect others. When folks don’t do what she wants, she pulls the nuclear option of cutting them off. She has done this repeatedly with many folks throughout her life, her two daughters included. Then when she is over her upset, she expects everything to be happy and as if she never did this. The last time she cut me off, I decided it was final. This has given me the peace I need. Sad but true. Watching this video though really helps me to think about all of this in a more pragmatic, clear-eyed manner though (because, yeah, of course there have been LOTS of hot emotions over the many years!)
Sorry to hear about that situation, but glad the video was helpful!
This was very, very, helpful. I have a "problematic student" and just don't have the coping skills for their "behaviors". This helps me frame my response to their behaviors, and managing them, rather than focusing on the individual and the angst they're causing me.
Glad it was helpful!
🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪❤
Thank you
You're very welcome!
If you have a good spiritual foundation you learn that God validates You, not man.
Very helpful and I do read your articles weekly tu
Totally agree with you that social media can be a positive resource, if used correctly. I've found A LOT of really good mental health information on TH-cam and Instagram. And I've joined FaceBook groups for some of my hobbies (e.g. tin whistle, ballet), that boost my confidence by connecting me with others who are pursuing similar interests. The key is to "winnow out the chaff" -- pay attention to the things on social media that actually make you feel good about yourself, and disregard the things that make you feel "less than."
Very much spot on in my case! Thank you for sharing this perspective and inspiring me to be the hero of my story!
Yes! You're welcome!
You are simply superb Nick. Every video nails down the hidden emotions clearly and it really helped me to identify them if not able to fully process them. Thanks for the insights on this chronic irritability.
You're very welcome, Dinesh!
Great video!
Thank you!