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I'm 59 and I decided when I was in my teens never to have kids. Been married 23 years, no kids, no regrets. I'm a hospice volunteer, so call me selfish if you dare. 😊

Thank you. I'm enjoying your dailies. And to be honest, I prefer your videos unedited, without music and flash stuff. You speak from the heart and it's the messages that are important, not how flash the video is. Keep going girl, you're super inspiring 🫶

I find that argument "you might change your mind one day" quite interesting because it goes both ways. And it IS true. If you decide not to have kids, you might change your mind one day. If you decide to have kids, you might change your mind about that, too. The only thing is, if you are with a kid, there's no going back. And if you decide that you do want a kid after all, you can try and have one, or, if that's not biologically attainable anymore, you can adopt. As for the selfishness argument, it is so blaringly evident that choosing to reproduce is the most selfish thing you could possibly do. I attest to that as a mother of one. Tis true. 😊

I've got bad news for you, I'm 46 and I still get asked when I'm going to have kids.

I'm truly captivated by your video! _ "Achievement thrives on unwavering dedication."

Gonna be 39 this year, no kids and my mom is totally fine with it. I knew from an early age it wasn't for me. Teenagers often find me pretty easy to talk to, though, and I've been there to listen to them and offer sympathy or advice, so it's not like I'm not trying to help future generations. Raising kids takes a village, and it's totally fine to be the cool aunt/uncle/relative/person who is just there trying to help. Sometimes people have toxic families who can't/won't put their children first and treat them well. We're all operating under the assumption that the person we're telling to have kids is ready for them, will be a good parent, and will do whatever it takes to help them become decent human beings. I will do that, just for kids that I haven't pushed out of my own hoo-ha lol. Being childfree means that you have freed up time and resources that you can use to help the children who are already here.

Hi Deanne! I needed to hear this! I'm so happy to find your channel. It's still a struggle for me not to spend on stuff I dont need... I am still working on it and hope to budget better, too...😵‍💫 Thank you for sharing your insight. Wishing you good health and happiness, my dear. 🌻

I honestly don't understand why anyone has an opinion about our lives. Also, the amount of hits when you google "I regret having kids" is astronomical!

I want to quit but I have a hard time letting go because I use it to promote my channel

Algorithm brought me here, subbed 💯

my mom is disabled and unable to work. my brother and I are grown adults, yet she is stuck in the mother and housewife position without actually having to take care of us anymore but she is kinda stuck in that. Like she can't really grasp that we're adults now and she doesnt like to be reminded of that. i never wanna live like that

It’s your life and you get to make the choices that work best for you.

Yes to all this 👏👏👏 Just turned 36 and my husband and I are still happy with our choice to be child free. The only thing that makes me feel uncomfortable or bad at times are peoples perceptions and comments, but I love our life. I also love that we get to be there for our nieces and support the parents around us that little bit more because of our time freedom.❤

I never understood people’s need to be in other peoples business about having kids or not. But I would like to comment on the first point. Anything you do you lose a bit of yourself into. Relationships, work, friends. You put yourself into each of these things and they change you. It blows my mind, as someone one who could never rely on their mom, that people expect that from their parents. Most of the time, if I need to call my mom, I pray she doesn’t answer. She doesn’t know much about my life and really hasn’t since I was a teenager and I’m 36 now. I didn’t even want her at my wedding.

totally agree. 40 years old here and no kids😃

Girl eff them kids 😂. Please do enjoy your best child free life. Coming from a loving mother.... don't do it

I have a hard time imagining you’re getting hate comments for not having children. I’ve been called so many horrible names for mentioning I have three. Can’t people just live their lives? Life is hard no matter what path you choose.

I have 2 kids and I never understand why people who choose not to have them get so much hate. I certainly don't expect my kids to have kids when they're older, if they don't want to.

"Me Bitch!" @10:14 I about died with the prim British elocution! I am FOR IT!!! 😅🤣😂

Thank you. I recently returned from Bali and knew I had to figure out a way to make money again. But my soul was screaming "Don't do what you did before!" 😅 I was managing a kitchen from morning to night, alone, on salary, 10-12 hours/day, no break, no over-time. So, I sat with it. Thinking, what next, let 'it' come to me. Well, up pops a local advert for people to help prune grape vines on a vineyard. Better pay than a solo Chef! It's part-time which suits me. I'm out in nature with happy, chatty fellow workers. The day flies by, it's so much fun. Now, it's not enough money to pay my mortgage but I feel so much freer! To make up the extra, I'm looking to work Sat/Sun nights as a casual Chef (weekends double and time & a half pay). It's a start to doing things differently. I don't know what's next but if I think too much about it, anxiety kicks in. So, right now, I'm in cruise mode. Thank you again. You're very inspiring 🤗

Conservatives: Not having kids is selfish! Also conservatives: *opposes free school lunches and supports loosening child labor laws*

I have 3 children..now they are 23,22 and 19. Yes, it was fun while they were little. But all the stress, hurt and debts I've been going through.... unbelievable! I tried to raise them as best as I could ....but their changing personality just shocks and disappoints me. 😢

People really do say No7 to childless people, sadly not realising that the strength of love they feel for their offspring is not true love stronger than any other type of love it’s just brain chemistry that triggers once you have a child in order to prevent you rejecting the infant as you are now entering the hardest part of your life and if these brain chemicals don’t cascade into your system at that time, the infant is at risk of neglect. Anyone who has suffered post natal depression knows this and anyone who has been removed from their birth families due to parental neglect knows this is the case. Only people who have been lucky enough to experience the brain chemistry after their baby being born cannot tell the difference any more between that and true love. The continuation of the human race depends on that brain chemistry happening so it makes sense that those who haven’t got the responsibility of parenting don’t get that effect. Unfortunately studies have shown that the effect wears off, regret not always but in some cases sets in, and more childfree adults end their lives happy with their choices than those who have had children.

You’re certainly not selfish. You’re the opposite of selfish given that humans are so terrible for the environment and to other species that MIT are now predicting that due to environmental factors, societal collapse will begin soon, we’re so out of control. We are a cancer on the face of the planet and have caused the extinction of so many other species. However I will say something in response to the question, how long will you have to put up with people telling you you will change your mind - the answer is approximately nine or so years. Females we have an inbuilt panic buzzer that goes off around 40 years of age if we have not already bred! It’s just nature letting us know that we’re reaching the end of the reproductive line. What will help massively at this point is if you don’t have a partner who might have liked to have kids with you but you are the reason they have not and potentially will reach older age, possibly without you, and potentially also without children. The guilt may eat you up if you have not prepared mentally for this and sought a partner who is as sure about it as you are.

Number 6 yes!!! Preach!

I'm a mother and I still totally agree with you. I support 4B, too.

The best thing you can do when you don't want to have kids is.... to not have kids. Imagine having a kid bc other people think you should enjoy parenting. Wth?! Btw, i have two kids after a decade of trying. Parenting is not something to be taken up lightly! You do you ❤

I knew at 14, now 47 and zero regrets! People started to believe me at 22 when I broke an engagement over this topic. People in my personal life stopped bugging me by 26. Strangers still sometimes bug me about it, even in my forties. You just gotta let it roll off and stand very confident in your own choice. It becomes less annoying as time goes on, in my opinion, the people pressuring you start to seem pathetic and naive.

It’s insane to me how people fail to realize that having kids really isn’t a necessity in a world full of 8 billion people…

I'm going to turn 40 in July and I'm childfree by choice the reasons why I'm childfree because kids are very expensive and I don't want to experience how painful childbirth is having kids is a choice and being childfree is also a choice I know that not every person in the world is not going to want to have any kids at all to me being childfree is the best decision I have ever made

So many more people need to hear this!

I also only use discord and TH-cam but I see it as social media in a way?

I don't think this question gets asked nearly enough..who's really the selfish one? Those one who automatically take it upon themselves to decide what's best for others? Or those who have thought long and hard about their decisions, how long-lasting said decisions would be, and how many people they might impact (especially the child who never asked to come into the world in the first place)?

Plus, u look so young and that's another benefit of not having kids is that you don't age as fast as mothers do, my mom looks older than her age and I personally don't want to end up like her. Ima follow the same lifestyle as u.

Thanks for speaking up on this important issue! I am a childfree guy in North Italy and it's hard to find understanding people when all around me are parents.

Girl I’m 23 and I’m child free I’m happy and no I don’t want none I got nieces and nephews

Hi Deanne, you have a cool channel and I like that you're unfiltered 🎉 social media needs that🎉🎉

People who push you to have a kid might just be jealous of your freedom. Having a kid means taking care of someone for at least 18 years, and maybe for life if they have a genetic disorder. Genetic testing around 18 weeks isn’t always spot on. You deserve to live your life the way you want. Those people who are saying otherwise probably don't work on themselves.

Lovely! 🌟

My conspiracy theory about the ppl who say "you're selfish" to a person who doesn't want children, is that it's projection. They are unsatisfied with being parents, and get upset when they see a childfree person existing or being happy.

I never understood why would you pressure anyone into having kids. Unless you are their parent and you want grandkids:) Evolution is surviving of the fittest. Not all genes should stay in a gene pool! We only evolve because of natural selection! Those who aren't good enough for reproduction should not reproduce! Population is NOT GROWING it is shrinking and moving towards collapse in next 20 years(you can research it for yourself it's simple math). But it only means more work opportuneties, more clean air, green forests for my kids and her kids etc. I see it as a win for everyone and fully supprot you!

I had my son at age 16. I wasn't planning on being a single mother, but he didn't want to handle his responsibilities. He was NEVER in the picture. Knowing what I know now (I'm 56), if i hadn't had my son, I would be child free right now.

"Who will take care of you when you're old?" is stupid question to me. All those arguments are stupid, but this is most stupid imo. 1. My potential children are not my potential slaves. They're going to have their lives and potentially their children to take care of as well. 2. They're no guarantee my children doesn't die before me for different reasons. 3. Children could be born or become sick and not able to take care of me when I'm old. 4. By the time I become old my children could be old and need care as well. 5. Demanding care from your children just for the fact you gave birth to them is selfish and manipulative. It was your decision to birth them, not their demand. People who say this often ignore the fact that death, illnesses and age exists not only for us, but for our children as well. They don't live in reality, but in fantasy world when children and parents are happy, healthy and children always outlive their parents.

When you ask people who have kids why they did, they give very selfish reasons as well.

i am sorta a bit nihilist. why giving life to someone that will die anyway

Male. Gen Y. single, unmarried and childless. My Reasons. 1. The world is a trash fire. 2. Product of divorce. Seen a lot of divorce, failed marriages, family history on both sides is comprised of drinking culture and domestic violence. 3. Seen alot of deaths. Parents bury their children. I've even gone to the funerals of schoolmates. 4. Fear of divorce / Fear my offspring will advance my in death / Fear of being a shit dad, shit husband, shit family man. 5. I'm a semi hermit that lives and fights for himself. 6. I trust no one. 7. Such is life.

Being a parent,.......it's not easy, let me tell you straight as a father of two and taking on two more that were not my own. Allow me to tell you this slowly......it's - VERY - hard - work. Stressful, time consuming, demanding , it is hard for men and even harder for women because they are making a sacrifice. Being a parent, it requires financial stability, dedication, maturity, wisdom, patience, love, kindness, understanding. The children are top priority, they must come first, you are secondary and you have to accept that you become second best to your partner. If you love your child more than you love yourself it's all worth it in the end. I know that from experience.

If someone comes with the comment “who’s going to take care of you when you’re older“ The question to ask them is how many children today are taking care of their elderly and is it a rising or an declining number? How many children are even taking the time to visit their grandparents or parents every week?

I am child free as well. Heard all that as a child and teens. I told my parents by 6 , that if I did get married, I would not have kids. I realized early that I was not programmed right mentally to be a good mom. I have been a cat mom for many years and that fulfills me. Also, some medicinal issues I did not want to pass on. s a Woman, this is being self aware of my limitations. I was constantly challenged by peers, I just ignored them. They did not live in my body and mind and the issues I had to deal with. Yes, I never had any urge or want to have children, so I did not. Yep, I am selfish to an extent. So what. My non-being children are not being hurt, because they do not exist. Yes, it got to be annoying when you are always being questioned on your decision. I know one friend was sorry she got pregnant twice and really did not enjoy motherhood but was stuck now, she apologized to me. I told her it was not a problem for me. She felt like she did what was expected, get married, must have kids. I have heard the whole book of why, why, why not. Not all humans are the same or want the same. I think motherhood is a sacred calling. I am an Auntie, talks a village to help raise a child. I am part of that community. At 67, I still stand by my decision.

2:52 You’re right! Parents do not sell parenting!!! 😂😂😂