Alyson Bullock, MFT & Relationship Coach
Alyson Bullock, MFT & Relationship Coach
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(♟️PART 3) Want to play more chess? ♟️ Make sure BOTH PARTNERS are enjoying themselves: - take the
(♟️PART 3) Want to play more chess? ♟️ Make sure BOTH PARTNERS are enjoying themselves:
- take the time to please everyone involved (or sometimes switch off, but make sure you’re on the same page about that)
- have conversations about what turns each other on and gives you that energetic feeling of wanting to play
- change up the timing so it’s not always end of day
- take turns imitating so one person isn’t always feeling rejected
- remember that for chess to be enjoyable, it’s helpful for the partner carrying a lot of mental load not to feel alone in their tasks
Good luck and may you BOTH win a match or two!
Disclaimer: IG is not therapy. This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This will not apply to everyone.
#defensiveness #communication #therapy #therapistsofinstagram #couplestherapy #couple #dating #marriage #marriageadvice #mft #mentalhealth #wellness #love #problemsolving #negotiation #conflictresolution #conflict
มุมมอง: 663

วีดีโอ

Things change when you take ownership for your part in the problem
มุมมอง 1.2Kวันที่ผ่านมา
Things change when you take ownership for your part in the problem. When you let down your wall of defensiveness, stop looking to blame, and admit that you have role, you can FINALLY empower yourself to make changes. If it’s always someone else’s problem, you’ll always be stuck where you are. WHERE TO START: 1. Begin talking about it. Go to couples therapy or to a safe space and start brining u...
Hear me out…Are we saying fluffy nice things to our partner like “I’m so proud of you” and “I’m so
มุมมอง 40514 วันที่ผ่านมา
Hear me out… Are we saying fluffy nice things to our partner like “I’m so proud of you” and “I’m so grateful for you” and “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me” but then criticizing their every move, ignoring their bids for connection, and refusing to acknowledge the tangible efforts they are putting in to the relationship? Let’s not stop saying the nice things, (keep up the words of ...
Negative Sentiment Override can be overcome!
มุมมอง 39114 วันที่ผ่านมา
Negative Sentiment Override can be overcome! The ratio of 20:1 positive to negative interactions is a great place to start as something to tangibly try and shift. (The ratio changes to 5:1 during conflict, Based on research by the @gottmaninstitute) The tricky part will be training your brain to ✨let positives be positives✨. This means if your partner gives you a hug, THINK OF IT AS A HUG and n...
*Sometimes it will take more than 10 minutes or more than once a day. Everybody is different.
มุมมอง 8814 วันที่ผ่านมา
*Sometimes it will take more than 10 minutes or more than once a day. Everybody is different. Talk together about using this strategy so you both know what to expect and come up with a list of other coping mechanisms to use if you’ve reached a limit of how much you’ll talk about it that day. These could include: *therapy *journaling *exercise Disclaimer: IG is not therapy. This content is for e...
Continuation of last week’s reel on ♟️♟️♟️ It takes effort
มุมมอง 27หลายเดือนก่อน
Continuation of last week’s reel on ♟️♟️♟️ It takes effort
Let’s get ahead of infidelity! It starts with a crush
มุมมอง 66หลายเดือนก่อน
Let’s get ahead of infidelity! It starts with a crush
Comment “DECK” for the link to the free couples card deck! So many couples struggle with dividing a
มุมมอง 14หลายเดือนก่อน
Comment “DECK” for the link to the free couples card deck! So many couples struggle with dividing a
Antidotes to defensiveness: ✨curiosity ✨reflective listening ✨breathing through uncomfortable emot
มุมมอง 2692 หลายเดือนก่อน
Antidotes to defensiveness: ✨curiosity ✨reflective listening ✨breathing through uncomfortable emot
Is this relatable or….📱📳🤳 Also this isn’t a gendered thing
มุมมอง 632 หลายเดือนก่อน
Is this relatable or….📱📳🤳 Also this isn’t a gendered thing
No matter how you feel about porn use, what is important is that you and your partner both feel sexu
มุมมอง 2.3K2 หลายเดือนก่อน
No matter how you feel about porn use, what is important is that you and your partner both feel sexu
Both things can be true: The need for safety when sharing vulnerable things, AND the need for honest
มุมมอง 3372 หลายเดือนก่อน
Both things can be true: The need for safety when sharing vulnerable things, AND the need for honest
Send this to your partner if you want to try one of these techniques! 1
มุมมอง 4612 หลายเดือนก่อน
Send this to your partner if you want to try one of these techniques! 1
Comment “HEAL” and I’ll send you a link for more info about this space for parents
มุมมอง 222 หลายเดือนก่อน
Comment “HEAL” and I’ll send you a link for more info about this space for parents
Comment “HEAL” if you are a PARENT interested in learning more about how to heal the relationship wi
มุมมอง 412 หลายเดือนก่อน
Comment “HEAL” if you are a PARENT interested in learning more about how to heal the relationship wi
This isn’t a perfect example, because these conversations never will be
มุมมอง 1323 หลายเดือนก่อน
This isn’t a perfect example, because these conversations never will be
AND sometimes you pull a hamstring mid race
มุมมอง 753 หลายเดือนก่อน
AND sometimes you pull a hamstring mid race
Do you think this would work for you? Why or why not? Disclaimer: IG is not therapy
มุมมอง 543 หลายเดือนก่อน
Do you think this would work for you? Why or why not? Disclaimer: IG is not therapy
What are the double standards in your relationship? 1
มุมมอง 163 หลายเดือนก่อน
What are the double standards in your relationship? 1
Why the weekly meeting? Because it’s a safe space to bring up issues where you both know that’s a pa
มุมมอง 354 หลายเดือนก่อน
Why the weekly meeting? Because it’s a safe space to bring up issues where you both know that’s a pa
“Dead Bedrooms” and other s3x questions with Tammy Hill, LMFT! @tammy_hill_lmft There is a 1 minut
มุมมอง 214 หลายเดือนก่อน
“Dead Bedrooms” and other s3x questions with Tammy Hill, LMFT! @tammy_hill_lmft There is a 1 minut
Other things to avoid: ❌Calling them names or verbally punishing them for being grumpy ✅ Be sensiti
มุมมอง 1084 หลายเดือนก่อน
Other things to avoid: ❌Calling them names or verbally punishing them for being grumpy ✅ Be sensiti
✨DIY White Flag Tutorial 🏳️✨ Watch the whole thing before you comment 🤪 Disclaimer: IG is not ther
มุมมอง 104 หลายเดือนก่อน
✨DIY White Flag Tutorial 🏳️✨ Watch the whole thing before you comment 🤪 Disclaimer: IG is not ther
This is not only a male thing (and obviously does not apply to all men!!!), but men have definitely
มุมมอง 1315 หลายเดือนก่อน
This is not only a male thing (and obviously does not apply to all men!!!), but men have definitely
Do you insist on talking it out before bed? Hate to break it to you, but this may be making things w
มุมมอง 2K5 หลายเดือนก่อน
Do you insist on talking it out before bed? Hate to break it to you, but this may be making things w
Get a journal or a piece of paper and answer the following question: What would the best version of
มุมมอง 386 หลายเดือนก่อน
Get a journal or a piece of paper and answer the following question: What would the best version of
I’m hoping for some comments on this one! Here’s my additional thought
มุมมอง 206 หลายเดือนก่อน
I’m hoping for some comments on this one! Here’s my additional thought
Have you done this!? I know I have, and it usually doesn’t end well! So how is this different from s
มุมมอง 1537 หลายเดือนก่อน
Have you done this!? I know I have, and it usually doesn’t end well! So how is this different from s
Wanna be friends!? 1
มุมมอง 1407 หลายเดือนก่อน
Wanna be friends!? 1
Would this be helpful for you? What do you think? Disclaimer: IG is not therapy
มุมมอง 1947 หลายเดือนก่อน
Would this be helpful for you? What do you think? Disclaimer: IG is not therapy

ความคิดเห็น

  • @jeffreycobb8925
    @jeffreycobb8925 2 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Sounds like you and your business partner should both get Calendy accounts.

  • @ancheriesmith5962
    @ancheriesmith5962 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    You should never schedule 'sex time' unless you want to end up despising your partner and being touched by them. Treating each other like a light switch than can be turned on and off on a schedule will destroy whatever magic or intamacy you might still have. 'Meet me on the bed without your clothes on at 8:15'....omg, kill me now😂😂😂

  • @BenBartolovic
    @BenBartolovic 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I like the way how they (you) interact with each other, seems to be very high on the emotional intelligence scale. But somehow it seems that it's not really about chess... 🤔

  • @LysanderG
    @LysanderG 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    So, why not just say "no, I don't want to play chess. I want to have sex."

  • @UQUIZZES
    @UQUIZZES 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    😂

  • @Coli490
    @Coli490 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

  • @skeingamepodcast5993
    @skeingamepodcast5993 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    "I appreciate you". Better than I love you.

  • @ohsoyouthinkyoucandance
    @ohsoyouthinkyoucandance 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    lol I just can’t tell him “you know who I love? Your family” Like come on sis he doesn’t even like his family 😂

  • @Lily-ok9lp
    @Lily-ok9lp 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I could not say any of this with a straight face-

  • @marafin1971
    @marafin1971 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I feel like #2 sounds a little condescending…. Maybe put a little ‘I’ into it, like “thank you for deciding, I was unsure/undecided/cinflicted” ? 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @break.thruwalls
    @break.thruwalls 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

  • @margaretdruzan97
    @margaretdruzan97 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you because you actually just helped me with me. I appreciate you

  • @rachelsjusthere4asmr395
    @rachelsjusthere4asmr395 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I have NEVER heard a more accurate presentation

    • @beckykay9178
      @beckykay9178 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yes, this was really good. This is my husband and me all the time. Not sure how we started in this cycle, but this is a great tool to get out of it.

  • @Celeste-fo1op
    @Celeste-fo1op 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Should i send this to my parents? I pretty sure ill get grounded and that its rude to send them this but they NEED this. Like REALLY BAD! 😬

  • @bumblebee4024
    @bumblebee4024 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Married 34 years here. Don’t ask questions... just make statements. Example: Her: I have this dirty diaper to put in the trash if you haven’t taken it out yet.” Him: I took out the trash already. Her: Okay {Takes dirty diaper outside to trash} OR Him: I haven’t taken trash out yet. Her: Okay {Throws dirty diaper in house trash can that’s soon to be taken out} *SIMPLE!!!* Life is only complicated when you make it complicated. P.S. Solid baby poop can be flushed down toilet, then roll up dirty diaper & toss. Trash won’t stink.

  • @sailaway0013
    @sailaway0013 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Nope this isn’t how it is …. Nope the woman part is on point …. You didn’t take out the trash and I always need to tell you again. No matter what she thinks. That’s what she said to the man. He heard it right !! She’s the negative one.

    • @jenem9618
      @jenem9618 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

      "Hey, did you already take out the trash?" It's an innocent question. You're coming up with a whole narrative that didn't happen.

  • @user-bi8ge4xy1j
    @user-bi8ge4xy1j 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Love this. But won’t work with narcissists who are the ones usually having tantrums about everything. All love~

  • @user-ck8yo8kg4c
    @user-ck8yo8kg4c 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    GREAT advice.

  • @xmetrix
    @xmetrix 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    More often? How about ever

  • @SurprisedChurros-fp3rw
    @SurprisedChurros-fp3rw 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    How about we dont treat men like a toddler. Thats how a mom talks to her child. How about he loves you more than you love him. Try that. It works.

  • @justindawson6724
    @justindawson6724 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    😂😂😂😂

  • @jackdaknife
    @jackdaknife 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Happens in the movies and the movies alone lol

  • @HVAC_Jae
    @HVAC_Jae 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    😐only if it was this easy. Almost never happens.

  • @ElliottMorrow-fg4lc
    @ElliottMorrow-fg4lc 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Um, th-thank you.

  • @HERITAGEWONDER
    @HERITAGEWONDER 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Amazing ❤

  • @carlhandsomeharig5792
    @carlhandsomeharig5792 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    YouTwo should drop the lesbian Act find yourself a man and pray away the gay

    • @leenaadams6742
      @leenaadams6742 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      critical thinking seems to really have declined these days… that is literally the SAME person acting out different people in a situation…

  • @keithariel1621
    @keithariel1621 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    They’re both cheating babe.

  • @rip8564
    @rip8564 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Yeah - it’s a co-worker inviting me for a drink after work. You wanna meet us too? We’re going to Raffertys Bar & Grill. Oh you don’t? OK. Probably gonna be home by 7 or 8 latest. See ya! (See how easy that was).

    • @mikedevonish3933
      @mikedevonish3933 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Simple and direct. That's what a dude does. Women however...well you saw the video.

    • @crowgang6678
      @crowgang6678 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@mikedevonish3933gonna be honest both take about the same amount of time. Both men and women do a lot of yapping but somehow we're meant to listen more when it's men.

  • @matthewcarnes4782
    @matthewcarnes4782 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Stop looking at my phone. I can have my own life

    • @leenaadams6742
      @leenaadams6742 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      the health of your relationships must be just amazing!

    • @TheeQuirkyPanda
      @TheeQuirkyPanda 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Then, be single.

  • @FlatEarthLogic
    @FlatEarthLogic 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Rachel knows it wont happen unless youre drunk 😂

  • @theonlyMr9
    @theonlyMr9 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Lol. Wishful thinking... No woman has ever asked in this way.

  • @ryantrone4140
    @ryantrone4140 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Is it weird telling yourself that you love you?

  • @guyincognito7211
    @guyincognito7211 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This doesn't work when your partner has narcissistic personality disorder. They will take any interaction, no matter how positive, and make it negative so fast it will make your head spin.

  • @savannahramirez3718
    @savannahramirez3718 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I sent this to my husband because we had the same Conversation a few nights ago. He said he didn’t understand

  • @rcekrizpi9947
    @rcekrizpi9947 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    How about get ready the night before

  • @Amazon.Prince
    @Amazon.Prince 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I'd rather just break up and be healthy instead.

  • @rosaleenlovick2735
    @rosaleenlovick2735 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Oh my goodness I thought I was the only one, this is my life but that's life there's never any team and while your still cleaning up they dont even wait for you to eat with the Team.

  • @willzander6514
    @willzander6514 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Work as a team when you might be the only one doing the work. Not really a team

  • @yolandazach
    @yolandazach 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Team? No team!

  • @gregoryschmidt1233
    @gregoryschmidt1233 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    There is something to "you put yourself in this position". My ex used to "love" to entertain. W had a dining room table that would seat 12, so she'd invite 10 people over for a lavish multi-course meal with wine pairings. The labor and shopping (and stress) would start 2 days before the meal, ratcheting ever upwards as the time before the event dwindled. We'd both be frantically tearing around with our hair on fire as the first guests arrived. Then we'd have 2 hours of (relative) peace as we ate (except for her and I constantly getting out of our chairs to fetch the next course, open more wine, etc, etc.) She'd then adamantly refuse any offers by the guests to help with cleanup, resulting in us finishing up around 2am and collapsing exhausted into bed. When I would ask her how she thought it went, she'd say, "Well, I never really get to enjoy myself."

  • @H36662
    @H36662 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I think it derailed at "I don't want you to take this the wrong way." It's invalidation in advance.

  • @jamesmodlin6279
    @jamesmodlin6279 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    People dont talk like this. Lame.

    • @cinnammongirlie
      @cinnammongirlie 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      but it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t

  • @carlosenriquez2092
    @carlosenriquez2092 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good boy now don't you ever forget that your entire existence is contingent on her "feelings"

    • @kianeko2120
      @kianeko2120 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeahhhh that's not the issue. Sad you can't see what the actual problem is.

  • @karebear326
    @karebear326 หลายเดือนก่อน

    “She is my mom” - answers the child. “You’re my wife” - answers the man. She will always be your mom, but you have a new family now that should be your nr 1 priority. You decide when you wanna grow up.

  • @itsacookie1
    @itsacookie1 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If we aren't playing chess on the regular, checkers is due on the 1st.

  • @JanaMaez
    @JanaMaez หลายเดือนก่อน

    Not me at the very beginning thinking, “Chess takes such a long time, once a week is awesome!” ☠️ Edit: literally, I thought chess. I get it now, guys. 😂

  • @wfkvr6
    @wfkvr6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    BS. She owns the board now and doesn't need to play. The fact she doesn't even address the fact she doesn't want to play and never brought it up as an issue is enough to destroy her narrative.

  • @GreatestAverageMan
    @GreatestAverageMan หลายเดือนก่อน

    🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

  • @petejuggling
    @petejuggling หลายเดือนก่อน

    Not much into bullet and blitz games huh?

  • @coffeeandgrind
    @coffeeandgrind หลายเดือนก่อน

    Checkmate...

    • @V69991
      @V69991 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Check-mate😂