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I was a huge drinker and stoner for most of my adult life. It enabled me to numb my hypersensitivity and be social. Now I've gone fully sober for my health, and the sensitivity and need to recluse are so overwhelming. I wish there was a comfortable middle ground, but I slide so quickly back into addiction. Edit: a lot of ppl here say they don't mask anymore when they're drunk... for me I think that maybe my mask slips more, but also masking feels more effortless, if that makes sense.

You looked gorgeous plant the moon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Alcohol makes me a lot more sociable, confident and relaxed when it comes to talking to new people, but I also find that it makes it harder to mask. Though at that point most people just take it as I drank too much and they think that’s just how I am when I’m drunk when in reality I’m just a bit tipsy and autistic

Try psychedelics

I've always been awkward, didnt know I was autistic, but alcohol would give me a "super power" with being social. but now it's 10 years later, and I'm still doing the same routine. I'm dissociating more than ever between drinks, and over doing it more when i drink.

I used to drink to cope with the social anxiety caused by my autism, but it would be ten times worse the next day compared to if I hadn’t drunk at all

I got diagnosed in my late 30s being autistic but I drink to calm down anxiety and masking to fit in

I feel the same way, drinking makes it wayy easier to socialize. I don't know though if it's because I become more "normal" or if it's cause usually if I'm drinking, everyone else around me is drinking so they don't notice my weirdness as much. Sometimes I think I might have a problem because I can have a drink on a daily basis. However I don't get drunk on a daily basis, that happens much less frequent. Besides, I haven't found myself struggling much with substance addiction like your average person. Take caffeine for example. I'm not addicted to it at all. I can go perfectly fine without any coffee or tea for days or weeks. I mostly drink those because I like them. Caffeine has a somewhat opposite effect on me anyway 😄

Drank 25 years most days of the week. Same with cannabis. Stopped drinking now, stopped having any social life. I onky drank to be able to be around people.

I love and have noticed the autistic garnening dynamic. Thinking of this, their was also a alchoholic link in ones i have followed or seen. Im aware of the nature adhd link, must also go to asd anxiety management. It certainly is my biggest special interest!

Im a 49 yr old bloke, diagnosed in last 6 months, also adhd. Your experience is also mine. I am avoidant more than oytgoing, but was wanting to belong as you describe.

Lindsay, your experience is so similar to my own. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this raw energy, I know how fucking hard it is. I am proud of you, I feel much less alone finding this channel.

I felt Every. Single. Word. I was recently diagnosed at 21 after many incorrect diagnoses and medicine, but I have been drinking for years. I used to think all I was was a functional alcoholic with severe anxiety and depression, but after my diagnosis, so much makes sense. Thank you for this video. Thank you for sharing your feelings, because a lot of us feel the same and can’t articulate it. I wish you the best, you are not alone in this feeling.

Are you kidding? I'm autistic and I sometimes drink a couple of half gallon bottles of whiskey a week! Alone of course.

49 yo male with high functioning autism, yes I have drank before and during social gatherings, and it does help to loosen me up, however if i drink too much then I start to get too comfortable and make an ass of myself. So don't over do it.

😂😂😂

hi lindsay. just watched your hard kombucha video and immediately clicked on your channel to see how you’re doing 3 years on. really hope you’re ok. hit me up if you want to chat x

I drink and it makes me feel normal. I can actually talk normally to people. Naturally I’m reserved I guess, I just don’t see the need to talk much unless I have to and it feels exhausting after a while. But when I drink I actually feel like talking and people say things like “I didn’t know you were actually funny” or they ask why im not normally like that. It sucks that people like me more when I’ve had a few drinks. It also takes all my anxiety away and stops my brain from hyper focusing on negative thoughts. Without a drink I am just living with anxiety, even at home.

When I finally realized that i wasn't drinking for me, that I was drinking so others would be comfortable around me, I quit doing it. I stopped masking almost 7 years ago. And since I stopped, I haven't been able to successfully date or really have any friends because I no longer mask for others comfort I am me pretty much 100% of the time. And people really hate that about me. The biggest complaints i've gotten since I stopped. 1. you don't do enough for me. 2. You aren't entertaining enough (laughing, telling jokes) 3. you don't text me "good morning, beautiful" at 6am. 4. "Oh, you're one of those smart guys." 5. You're too intimidating and unapproachable. 6. "My friend's don't like you." (i'm better one one one and tend to do poorly in social situations that require group participation. As you can see, most people only see life from their POV, and don't bother to try to understand how others experience life. If any one of these people really were able to care for someone other than themselves, they would be able to accept that life is not all about them.

I'm 38 I was a mute until I was 7 I knew I was different I drank to blend I'm also diagnosed with ADHD

I'm autistic and I'm an alcoholic

Hahahahahaha!!!! Autistic people don't drink?!? How do we make friends past the crippling social anxiety? Autistic people drink a TON.

Hello, I am Autistic I was diagnosed young. Alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel "normal." I don't get sensory over load, I can convey my emotions with others, hold conversation, and enjoy it. My OCD and anxiety disappear. Thank you for your video and for sharing your experiences. I wish you the best it's hard, but at least you're not alone.

I’m on the spectrum and deal with anxiety. It’s easy to understand the need to self-medicate. For me, working with a therapist and psychiatrist has been helpful and it doesn’t have the downsides that alcohol does. But everyone’s situation is different.

I’m 46, I used to drink alcohol for like 25 years. I quit alcohol 6 months ago, and now I think I’ve been authistic all my life. I’m looking for a diagnosis.

i'm a total lightweight, and i grew up in a culture where wine with dinner from a young age was normal. i've never had a problem with drinking too much... smoking on the other hand: three mins of fidgeting with your hands to roll one, four or five mins where you can just leave the room and be outside to smoke it, no judgement for being weird like you'd get if you wanted to do literally any other calming stim in the workplace... why is it so easy to get a smoke break in the carpark every hour, but ask for a five min ADHD break to walk around the carpark every two hours and just get some air, and you're being disruptive?

I am 40, I ve diagnosed 4 years ago, and fro 16 to 26 I used to drink in every social evening/night situation ,but a looot . After having some health problems alcohol related, I've stopped drinking, now I became almost allergic to it, and I don't like to go do party disco. I've realized that was a mechanism to be "Normale" to feel relaxed .

Im a 60 year old female & have an autism diagnosis in august. I’m going to have to go through the ADOS2. I’m scared to death because after 60 years masking is pretty automatic. Did you have to go through the ADOS? If you did can you give me a little hint about what to expect?

Hi There. I stopped booze at 43. Autistic/ADHD. Used alcohol to self medicate anxiety/social. High functioning. I understand why you drink. It’s a brilliant crutch. Now 57. One of the best things i ever did was give up the booze..because drinking is progressive..you will drink more and more to get numb….and that gets out of control. Please stop. It’s horrid being off the booze..but it is better than being deep in the booze. Booze is not your friend..its slow suicide.

i got diagnosed with autism when i was 17 and when i turned 18 i tried my first alcoholic drink. it was at a bar with a friend, but it was still controlled drinking. side note, i also have adhd so the alcohol is really mixing up my already weird brain. but i definetly wanted to try it and it was good. i got dizzy after drinking half a glass over 2 hours. my friend said she noticed that i was more energetic and happy. she also had to grab me to get me to stop sipping on my drink, bc we were gonna miss the train. i wanted to drink more, i liked this feeling of letting go. i know that people with adhd tend to get addicted easier, so ill ofc be carefull when drinking in the future and ill have my supportive friends with me to keep me at bay :)

When I was a teen, alcohol was the only time I ever felt normal talking to people. I was always shy and didn’t know how to talk to people & wanted to interact with others. One thing that kept me from being an alcoholic is the fact I got extremely hungover every time I drank. The other reason was that once I got to know people, I found them boring and didn’t want to interact as much anymore. I have my small circle of old friends who know my quirks and I am comfortable around them so I don’t need to make more friends 😂. Btw, got diagnosed at 53 but always felt I was an alien! lol

Agreeing with nearly every comment

Alcohol quiets my mind, which relaxes me. I'm in constant pain (idiopathic - so no cause for it), but us Auties when in the midst of a meltdown or breakdown can feel terrible pain, despite there being no insult or injury. Alcohol helps with the pain too. Anyone else use alcohol for the same reasons?

this runs deep in our community

I am 46 and recently self-diagnosed (in process of getting that confirmed.) I have a drink almost every day. Fortunately I have a sensitive system and can't drink a ton. Some days it feels like that's the only way I can deal with the amount of tension that builds up every day. But it especially makes uncomfortable social situations a little bit easier for me.

Oh wow! I've only been in the rabbit hole a few months, and this is the first I'm seeing anyone talk about this. It's a little weird to look back and view drinking from that perspective. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing your experiences!❤❤

I'm autistic and you look beautiful 😍

I watched a documentary (Christine McGuiness: Unmasking My Autism by the BBC) that mentioned roughly 90% of late diagnosed autistic women have experience of sexual trauma and talked about the experience of not knowing how leave to bad sexual situations. It's awful, but it's somewhat validating to know that I'm not the only one to have gone through that and that it's not because there's something wrong with me, it's because I didn't know I am autistic.

I’m not diagnosed but have had many people believe that I am and was recently told by Dr that she believes I do have signs of autism. I’ve been told by many people that when I’ve had drink, I don’t stop talk and when I’ve not drank I’m a mute. I don’t like to drink though. I can over do it at times and also don’t like the lack of control that I have when sober. I do like that anxiety fade quite a bit when drinking but when you haven’t really got a social life it hard to organise anything that does allow me to be me.

Hangovers give me such high depression and anxiety that I can’t really do it.

Can i contact you?

I was very much like you in that I'd have to get drunk before showing up to a party and I could tell there was a difference with my reasons for drinking in comparison to my peers. I liked my peers a lot but the truth is, if there wasn't alcohol or some sort of mind altering substance available to me, then I would never have hung out with them. Not because I didn't want to but because it was just painful for me to socialize. Drinking led to me to other things I got addicted to but I got clean (somewhat) when I was 26. I have a drink now about once a year maybe, however, I don't hang out with anyone now. I'm close with two women, I love them dearly and can text them all day but I don't hang out with them one on one, because the anxiety it causes is just not worth it. And it does suck. Thank you so much for talking about your experience with this because I also haven't seen any other creators share about autism and masking via alcohol or whatever substance. <3

Great topic! I’m definitely a coping mechanism drinker

Not alone sweetheart x

I've found that the amount of alcohol I need to feel "okay" in a social situation makes me totally not okay in a social situation-- from the perspective of everyone else.

when i am drunk it feel´s less disgusting when people are stearing directly into my eyes,lol.

I don't think you have any idea how much our community needed this video 👏👏👏👏 I WHOLE HEARTEDLY THANK YOU ❣️

Yes. However, I walked into AA on 1-1-24. I had to choose to face my fears, feel the emotions, and lower the sensory stimulations in my life. I had to remove toxic people from my life and choose to remove the mask to safe people. The people who can’t come to terms that I’m on the spectrum and I’m no longer numbing or masking for them, is their problem not mine. My only job is to be me and to heal my emotions. I had to slow down because that’s what my brain was craving. I used alcohol to feel “like everyone else” and to “numb emotional pain” but what I was really doing was masking/ceasing emotional healing and self growth. Living sober was the best choice of my entire life. I’m almost 50. 🙏🏻💞🫶🏻

I was diagnosed a few years ago (I’m 56) and I was a drinker since my early 20’s. For me, it was definitely a coping mechanism during social activities but eventually turned into a problem and I decided to stop - coincidentally around the time I started to suspect I was autistic. On reflection I can now see how alcohol affected me differently than most people. I would usually end up assuming the court jester character (as I call it), my guard would come down and stuff I would say would either be hilarious or shocking or both judging by the reactions. I was always aware of the fact that I was ‘acting’ and sometimes called out on it (not often). Now, as a complete non drinker, I don’t socialise anymore and am better for it in my opinion. I’m often asked why I stopped drinking as it surprised my friends - I just tell them that I felt that I had reached an age where it didn’t make sense to keep doing it - so I stopped.

24 yo here. Undiagnosed person. Alcohol tastes terrible. The only good thing on that for me it's the cold and the bubbles. Like everyone on the comments, it has been a way to eliminate a lot of sensations that we're dealing every fucking day. And that are overlwhelmed for us. I only drink on social situations. The bad thing is that its difficult knowing where to stop drinking. Which it would be completely normal if I suspected that I on asd. But drinking 1lt of beer it's enough to make the desire effect, AND NOTHING above that. Love to all asd community. <3