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One of my absolute life goals is to see the Roden Crater in person. I hope James Turrell can see his ultimate artwork to the end in his lifetime

One thing I am personally proud of is that the whole time I was a member and employee of the corporation masquerading as a church I never even attempted to convert another person. It never really felt right to me and so I never shared even a bom with anyone it just didn’t feel right.

I think the missing Big Picture and interconnectivity in this video does not give the viewer the robust feeling the magnificent creation deserves.

preferable to a copper mine, not as beautiful as it was in pristinity. hubris is beautiful to whom? snakes like snake dens

What a deeply touching and brutally honest film. I'm grateful to the algorithm for sending it my way. May it find its way to many, many more people.

This was so moving!!! Thank you for sharing your story!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND!! You deserve the VERY BEST that this mortal life can bring!

I was sent home from my mission in 1997 because I came obsessed with what seemed like massive differences between the church Joseph Smith created and the modern church. I was called an apostate, mistreated, and sent home. I left the church and then raised 10 anti-Mormon kids. Jokes on the church and its abusive leaders. I took out a whole generation of potential Mormons

Really, this is incredibly well-made. Good work.

I’m a very sorry grandmother who didn’t understand. Please accept my apology. This was brilliant, sad, awesome, heartbreaking and beautifully done.

your camera is so good, what model is it?

I remember going in the '60's, the souvenir shops were a little different back then! 😆 You've got some beautiful shots and a haunting soundtrack. 👍

Looks like the set of a science fiction movie.

I am sorry you had to go through all that. Learning to love yourself is essential. There are many gay LDS happy in the gospel, it can work. Just sorry it didn't work for you and others. You mentioned about not being exalted and having spirit babies. That's a reason for opposite sex temple marriage. Glad that you have found some happiness. hope things go well for you.

Great job!! I sent a facebook DM😀🥰😇

I never know quite what to think when I hear the stories of queer people. There are always bits and pieces I find a little bit relatable, and other pieces I can scarcely imagine. Most common are the pieces I’m afraid to compare to my own experience for fear of causing offense. If I had to name the single most significant event in my life, I’d point to the time I dragged myself up to the pulpit on fast Sunday, mumbled out a story I thought of as miraculous, and then panicked in a rush to relate it back to some Gospel principle. My closing was about as generic as it gets. I just said that I knew God loved his children, and in that moment when I should have been an anxious mess thinking about all the ways I could have given a better testimony, I felt nothing but a calm assurance that what I said was true. I was thirteen. It’s strange to me to hear of the Gospel that has been so instrumental to me spoken of as harmful while the movement I feel has harmed me in some ways is upheld as virtuous and liberating. I look back on my life and wonder how I ever could have imagined my parents might love me less if they knew what I was. I wonder how I could have thought people wouldn’t want to be my friends anymore. I feel lied to, and it’s easy to think of a rainbow flag and blame it for all of the lies. That’s one of the challenges of life, I think. For those who stay, it’s easy to think of those who leave as lazy or sinful. For those who leave, it’s easy to think of those who stay as delusional and self righteous. I hear these stories, and it almost hurts a little, because I feel like I almost understand why people leave, but I also figure that if I really did understand, I wouldn’t be here.

<3

Thank you, I needed to see this today!

Thankful that I watch this beautiful story and so thankful that you N are happy ❤

A pricey video, thanks for sharing!

As an exmo who served in Spain just over 10 years ago, this brought up so many feelings. Thanks for creating and sharing this powerful story.

Maybe someday you can look back and see where the Mormon church did some good in your life.

This gives me hope that I can one day make something beautiful of my deconstruction. Thank you for this art

I’m two seconds in and already love it!

What a long drawn out bunch of hooey....

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. As an RM and an exmo of 5 years, this really hit home. I'm so glad you have found your peace and happiness. Best wishes.

This is so beautiful, thank you for telling your story. I left the church in 2009 after the Prop 8 campaign in California. I knew that what the church leaders were saying about being gay was wrong. I'm so glad you are able to be yourself and live the life that you want to. ❤

Thank you for this. Love the soundtrack ❤

Thank you for your beautiful story. Hugs from Denmark.

Active member here. Your story is so beautiful, I hope this somehow reaches top church leaders. I admire you for living your authentic self and can see that you are filled with absolute goodness.

This is art. Art stays with you like Van Gogh’s sunflowers.

What a beautiful and moving documentary! I relate to so much of it, as, I believe, anyone can. Hope you are sharing it through film festivals and showings.

The church has hurt so many people, and I love when an artist uses their medium to describe the pain - there are so many of us who feel it so intensely as well, and you put those feelings into words and images and music. We all need this for healing. ❤ Thank you for a beautiful film!

EX-Mormon talking. I like you JUST the way you are! I'm proud of you for getting away. I know it can be hard and painful.

❤❤

Beautifully made with such a powerful message! Thank you for making this film🙏 It's going to help heal so many people❤

Thankyou for your story and for trying to uplift others. Please don't hate God in these times as its man's lack of love to one another that's the real issue. Something interesting that's happening is that the native Americans are coming forth with there records and understanding now (2024), i wonder if they have more tolerance? SEE chief Midegah and the Birch Bark scrolls. The native Americans are also challenging the church to make changes. I also accept you and im LDS in Australia

The Church and GOD always loves you no matter what. In the end, our own conscience hurt us.

Your story is so powerful and honest. I can feel the strength in your healing journey. I wish you happiness. Also, super dope soundtrack.

Active Latter-day Saint here. Enjoying your work. I don’t see many of us in the comments but hopefully you get some attention from within the Church as well. Really cool the way you tell your story here.

Jordan, thank you so much for sharing this. I came across the video as I was refreshing TH-cam looking for something interesting to watch. I was hooked immediately. It felt like you were talking about me the whole time. I don’t know you and I’ll probably never meet you in person but, again, thanks!

Thank you for this beautiful video. I, too, served a mission for the Mormon church and struggled with being a gay man. I can identify with so much of what you’ve presented here. I hope that this video will be cathartic for many of us who have traveled this journey.

5 minutes in and I'm hooked by your emotional and beautifully told story. Thank you for sharing! <3

This deserves an exmo Oscar. Which is a Moroni statue holding a beer. Thank you for telling your story ❤

I clicked on this video without looking at the viewcount, just saw a 1,4 and a recent date. I was shocked to find out that it was 1,4k and had such high quality I'd expect from a much larger channel. You blew me right away. And the musical transition into Cigarettes After Sex setting the vibe? Insane intro You'll reach that 1,4m Happy pride

I am PROUD of you…sorry for the hurt the church has caused you.

What a beautiful and powerful documentary. It's very well-made and tells its story perfectly. I especially thought the emphasis on how the church creates the lenses that everything is viewed for very powerful- that new places and people were just things to be corrected and used by the church. I'm glad I got to see this.

What an incredible work you've done. I served as a missionary in Liberia from 2018 - 2020. Though we clearly served in different times, the technology used in the Liberia mission didn't catch up. The journals, planners, pamphlets and nearly every other resource pictured throughout this video is strongly familiar to me. I am impressed at the strength you have, and had even as a missionary. You had the courage to write what you felt in your journals. The feelings of seclusion, depression and a lack of belonging that you expressed are incredibly similar to the feelings I never could share, even in my personal writing. Though I am not homosexual, I relate in a very real and poignant way to your descriptions of depression and struggle. Your video is a testament to what so many of us go through while trapped in the church. Thank you.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. This is really powerful (and brave!).

It's beena few years since my mission, but the section where you read bits from journal entries still hits hard and reminds me of my time serving. Just the frantic, tension building, anxiety-inducing, pressure cooker of emotions you feel, and how sharply it contrasts with how we were told the gospel should've made us feel. And then beating ourselves up because it must've been because we didn't work hard enough, or be faithful enough, or righteous enough, etc. It was really cathartic to watch/listen to your experience, and I'm really glad you put this together. Thanks for making this!

Your story is ... as a queer person from a conservative (if agnostic) background, I have so many feelings. I also need to point out that from a technical standpoint your script, voice over, cinematography and editing are simply amazing.