We Don't Gentle Parent
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ย. 2024
- We all have our days that we just throw in the towel when it comes to parenting and let our children win. Today was not one of those days. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done and knowing that it will be something I do for the rest of my life can be daunting. One day at a time.
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You can be stubborn but dad can be “stubborner” you go dad!
I love the stern yet patient tone in your voice and the way you set boundaries
I just wanted to comment how much I appreciate how much you make Abbie do for herself and not let her not just get by. As someone who has been around and worked with special needs for many many years thank you for being you guys. I hope you understand what I mean by this comment. 💜
I’m raising an autistic granddaughter with a very low IQ, and we’ve had our struggles, I don’t have any support, but I’m learning a lot from your channel, I’m watching this one in tears, thank you!
Wow! You're an amazing person and your granddaughter is blessed to have you. Keep working hard!
You may have been firm, but you were still completely gentle. I really enjoy the interaction between you and Abbie.
The never ending laundry story lol. I feel it on a spiritual level, my guy.
🎶The neverending laundry🎶
She definitely smiled as she walked away, she knew! love her! ❤
Sandy bringing Priscilla her/his toy Turkey was just precious. What a welcome home! 🐕🦺🦃
You fold how you want to fold. I always say that it might not be how I would have done it but it's done and thank you for doing it for me.
Yes, I learned a long time ago to choose my battles. I learned quickly to appreciate any little bit of help I get.😊
When my husband puts the washing onto line, he doesn't put it on straight and drives me mad BUT he does put it on the line. He has retired and I still work so if he says their is no line left I go and put it on straight and there I sooo much line free to put on. 😅
You still have remarkable self control. I can only do the gentle parent thing so long until it gets on my last nerve and then the firm voice can be mes out and I take things away. There's tears and tantrums but I state that I don't speak screameneese and kiddo calms down once I ignore. It's so hard parenting autism as all the kids are so different. You're not alone with tantrums when it comes to cleaning. I have to practically hit the gym to be able to manage the tantrums from mine. Harder when your partner isn't around to help, so you guys are blessed having a full family on board to share the load. Keep up the great work!
When you said parenting at this level forever is exhausting , I felt that. I have a high needs son with autism and also a son with lower needs . I felt that in my bones . ❤
I’d totally fold my laundry whilst you fold yours 😂
No need to put labels on everything. Parent according to the child and their needs. No books or fancy titles needed. I stop meltdowns by giving my autistic son choices. But that is because he understands consequences. He either continue the meltdown if he needs to but he doesn’t get what he wants and he has to go meltdown in his room. If he chooses to stop he does what is asked and then he gets what he wants. Majority of his meltdowns now stop in under 5 mins. Before teaching him choices he used to drag them out for 40 and be ripping my hair out. Parent according to the child not according to a book ❤ Children are not text books or theories.
.. my mom labeled things when we were little. Partly in English and partly in Spanish. That's how we three kids learned two languages. We learned how to read by sight and by sounding things out. Is this what you meant by not labeling?!?
Children can learn: by being taught .. choices and consequences. NOT punishment, BUT giving them time to calm down and relax, then to go back to what you were having them do. (I forget words; nerve meds) Grade schooler on the autism spectrum was just on the news; singing beautifully in front of his class. Every kid is different; their handling should be different tooo.
I’ve followed for several years now being a special needs adult I’ve loved yours and Cillas relationship develop with Ab! My Goddaughter is 2 and recently diagnosed with Autism that little girl has had my heart from day 1 I knew she was special. Doctors would list all the things wrong with her and I would get mad and say it’s just DJ being DJ!! She has amazing parents that do everything possible to help her progress. I spend one of my days off to have a DJ/Auntie day this morning when waking her up she popped up and smiled real big and said HI!!! Melted my freaking heart!!!
When you were asking Abbie what she wanted to eat. I clearly heard her say I don't know. It was in her mumbled language. But she said it. Sometimes we just don't know. She was sassy all day. I love it. Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.
I thought that. It sounded how I sound when I have had a fit and can’t talk- so non verbal but the sounds are there the mouth doesn’t move for me lol
And I was getting I don’t know but thought it was just me.
If it was and it’s not just in our mind, it’s great.
I got the same impression, not knowing what you want is frustrating for anyone, I know I get real crabby sometimes when something doesn’t go right or whatever and I just don’t know what I want do (if that makes sense) and I’ve definitely been indecisive with food before and been like “I don’t know if I even want anything.” But I need to eat some it makes me lose it. I love how Asa handled this.
I love that you treat her like any other child!!! You guys are so Great with her!!
@@ValBurgess-th5dkI am glad that they don’t do everything for her, if something happened to the parents, nobody else would treat her like a parent
please no negativity here....This channel is all love and lessons!!
I love it when Priscilla does clothing hauls&recipes!
She was smiling even before she stood up.
Our goal is in hopes that our beautiful children will be able to have the independence ; often being able to care for themselves, often being with us for our lifetime 💖
That's ok
Independence in caring for one self is what everyone deserves
So proud of her ❤❤❤
I hope people realize the importance of you keeping her focus on food restricted to set mealtimes and reasonable snacks and treats. She isnt kept from the sweet treats she wants but you are firm to set that limit and keep the temptation to raid the pantry with the much needed locks. She may push back a little( who doesn't) but the big winner in your efforts is Abbie because she seems to stay within a reasonable weight.. Too many kids ( with or without a disability) are dealing with alot of health problems due to their diets.
You got this Dad , she learns better by doing. ❤❤❤
I have so much respect for parents who have autistic children. I just started as an RBT and just 3.5 hours at times can be very stressful but it’s worth every minute ❤
I’m a single mom with autism who raised a daughter with autism. I understand how it feels to deal with a child with disabilities and having some as well. I have more challenges than my daughter.
@@tracyfinch918Find the right help!! Plenty out there!! 😊
@@tracyfinch918 Get some help!!
@@tracyfinch918 Get some help!!
My most challenging is picking up food and what to eat. 😢
Asa I love your parenting skills, you’re firm and kind with Abby but she knows you mean business! I’ve watched you for many years now and I’m tickled to see the little smile in her face when the two of you come to a face off and you of course win! Keep talking to us like you do, I personally find it very comforting and the confidence in your voice is truly felt! Great job! 💖
If she wants more try fresh veggies and fruits give her small options but only "healthy" you guys are doing amazing cause it's hard , draining, mentally exhausting, but she's doing well
Hormonal changes are so rough.
Sending her so much love.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
They have her on hormone blockers
Cilla coming home to excitement is so heartwarming! And Abbie telling her that the guys didn't feed her! I couldn't even. Typical child!
She’s. 18 she knows what she’s doing 😂😂. She’s smarter then we know 😂
Abbie missed her mom that was so sweet
Abbie seems to be rather vocal in this vlog, I wonder if it's because of her feeling extra sassy, or progress with making sounds?.... maybe both? But she definitely looks like she's got a wonderful way of communicating with you all which is just so sweet to watch ❤
Thanks Abigail for the Amazing music ✨ you guys are amazing people you guys make me happy
I will but don’t expect me to do it without protesting dad ❤
Thanks for sticking the song in my head.💕lol😂
One of best movies ever, if not the best:)!
I don’t either!! When my grand gets on a mission I mission right along with her and she CALMS ALL THE WAY DOWN!! She makes the same noises and motions as Abby does along with her fingers in her ears.
Thanks a lot Adam and Eve 🤣 🌳🍎🧺
It must be so hard for her is express herself. She is such a wonderful person.
I love watching Abby act like an average teen with attitude 😂 she’s so great. My grandson is on the spectrum and non verbal and he’s so much fun and so loving. You are definitely right about parents needing time for themselves though, my son and his wife are losing their minds
I am so grateful for the first minute of this video. My son also loses it a bit on tasks just like this and just knowing it is not me... wow. Priceless.
She wanted some of yours after she saw it. Communication is so frustrating for both. 😂
💪💯🙏 So true. I have a daughter also with Autism.
Abbie doesn't like to do chores most of the time, that's why she was frustrated ..
I've been following Maass Family for 6 years now ..
@@hl3818what teenager likes to do chores? Lol
@@hl3818who does? 😂 I’m 39 and still hate chores lol
I love that Abbie can go outside and just chill by herself.Every body needs to be alone sometimes.She was so happy mom's home.The baby birds are so cute❤I love Cillas recipes .
I'm all in for "Laundry Talk"!
Abby was like, I ate mine, now I want yours...lol
Thank you Asa!🙏🏼👍🏼
Sandra Dee bringing turkey to Cilla was so cute 🥰
@@emilysmith9821 she didn't need it!! But cool!!
That was so sweet that sandy brought Priscilla her toy because she missed her and loves her so much
Well done Asa….the teenage years. Abbie learns fast!
I think Abbey is very intelligent and the problem of Autism is what she’s upset. Welcome to an average moms world
I had to smile at Abby's sassiness
today. Very typical teenager.
Seems like every time I see you, you're either putting clothes in the washer dryer or folding. You're right it's a never ending process. I live alone and I feel like I wash all the time😊
Turn around look at what you see dream a dream that no one else will dream. NeverEnding Story
I laughed out loud ahen you made your Adam and Eve comment. 😂
I have had these EXACT same interactions with my dad so many times 🤣 I was starting to look around the room getting flashbacks just waiting for my dad to pop out and tell me that if I made the mess I can clean it up with no fussing. I'm 33 and still felt like 'whoa dad means business today - I'd better behave and not kick up a stink'
Man, i cant believe she is already 19. Time flies
I saw that smile Abbie
How can you tell the difference between being stubborn or having a bad day ,headache ,not feeling well? Same question, if she asks for more food how do you know that she isn't still hungry?
Typically bad days require way more stimming & self regulating and random uncontrollable moods like randomly crying and most likely for no specific reason at all then laughing hyper etc it'll switch like a flip not saying this is her exactly but in general with kids on the spectrum
Asa has stated Abby doesn’t have the “full” feeling so she will eat until she is sick she will always act “hungry”.
Asa, I applauded your patience. It ain’t easy.
I have often wondered how they can tell if Abby is sick. I know as a parent, we pretty much just know but sometimes there aren't any real outward signs that a person is sick, like with a headache. That has to be tough since she can't verbalize it.😒
@@Rudymk-ph2xb unfortunately without any signs or symptoms they don't that's why it's extra important to keep up with doctors appointments and stuff
Yes Indeed,, great Job Dad🎉🎉🎉Love ya Abbey ❤❤whole family too ❤
I have not seen a video on PPP that I didn’t like but I do so enjoy the recipes. I love cooking and learning new recipes. My family greatly appreciates them!
My son want things and will wait for me to get it also…..and your right in making her get it ,unless your offering! Been there!
Asa I stand behind you 100% on your parenting!!! I think it’s amazing you hold Abby accountable.
I love how she side-eyed you, Dad, as she told Mom that you guys hadn't fed her. 😂
I love this video!!! Honestly you don’t owe us any explanation but I love seeing your thinking process because it makes sense. Also it can help a lot of people raising kids or kid adults on spectrum or not ( please correct me if I didn’t use right terms). Thank you for sharing with us because it really helps.
Dude you're definitely doing it you're girl is going to be ok in life as adult .
I'm proud of you .
This is parenting.
Your clearly a father and she's definitely your girl forever but needs your strength.
Great job dad.
You are a real man.
I know it was probably frustrating at the time, but I had to giggle at her at lunch because I’m sure she smelled/saw that potpie and regretted her decision!! 🤣👍🏼 That happens to me all the time!!
You handled that well ❤
Generally the vibe I got was both of you need a break from each other and Cilla’s arrival was perfectly timed. Glad to see Abbie so happy to see mom and tell her what an ogre her dad was making her pick up and eat only her own lunch. 😂 You looked tired and like you needed a little respite so perfect timing. Still not full respite but sometimes just a fresh face to the house will perk it all up. Thankful for Cilla returning and providing her own brand of dopamine.
Happy for her to have a warm welcome from Abbie also. Hope ya got a little break and rest. You’ve been full on with the big crying spell and the move plus normal Abbie stuff and the never ending laundry cycle and prepping for mom to come home. You did great and are an amazing human Asa.
Bravo,Dad.
Was I the only person thinking while Asa was folding laundry it would be funny if he put on one of Priscilla's dresses! Lol
You live with her and know the best way to love her, she's in there trying to come out.Keep up never give up.
She's deff a young lady ❤❤we take a while to decide what we want for dinner ❤❤
Queen! Yes Abbie! And Sandy was like “ Hey guys I’m here “ and then Nola starts in. Everybody loves Cilla! 💋🧚🏻♀️❤️🇺🇸
She was so happy and excited to see mommy. 💜👍
That was absolutely gentle parenting in action.
You never show this parenting style as I know you got to be careful on TH-cam because of “opinions” but this is what I was hoping you do off camera. Firm but fair and still fun.
Where there is love, there is discipline so I agree with you. Priscilla is the light of the house. I know for sure Abbie along with everyone was missing her a lot🌸🌸
To be so ornery and be so sweet! Great parenting Asa!
You are so kind
@@fatheringautism I have a big heart for people like Abbie. I have been around Disabled kids and adults most of my life. I wish I had a home big enough for the ones that don't have a home. I have a lot of patience🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
She understands.
As for your question at the end of the video, I would love to see more recipe videos on Pricilla's channel! They are so well done that it almost feels like she is on the Food Network!
Love seeing this. Loving and appropriate approach in a challenging moment. My daughter is 9 with a brain injury and has autism like characteristics, though much different than Abbey, i try to treat her with similar respect yet set expectations and boundaries ❤️
You handled that great
Aww the excitement from everyone when Momma Cilla gets home ❤
I almost got irritated when you were telling Abbie no more food, because i feel like our kids go through stages when the may eat more or less. But then I reminded myself that Abbie is an adult and you know her better than any of us.
When you were talking about pitching in, I was reminded of when my adult son lived with me. He threw "I'm an adult," at me once when i suggested he needed to let ke know if he was, or was not, coming home, or some similar expectation. I informed him that his adult person was welcome to get his own house, pay his own Bills, but until then: my roof, my rules. If he wanted to pay half everything, then he could be a roommate. But I'd still expect certain contributions. We never had that argument again.
Asa, I’m 60, and I remember The Never Ending Story!
Love both channels no matter what the content ❤
Your explanations are helpful. Thank you. The most impactful thing you said to me, was parenting at this level is exhausting. So so so true. My daughter is 21 and I am pooped!
Welcome back Cilla!! Abbie asking for all the things is too cute and when she said Asa didn"t feed her was too Funny😂More Recipes Please
Nice. Live the content. We all make some misstakes. Only human after all.
I wonder if Ab was trying to ask for taste of Dads meal? The eat sign, plus come here then she reached for dad’s plate. Asa should ask that question too .
It was the first option I gave her. Having a bite of my meal wasn’t an option though. She had her food that she chose and I had mine
Sometimes I don’t like to listen to my mom either but I always end up doing what she wants me to do sometimes 😅
Wow haven't seen ur content in a while,Abby and ur family are doing great! I love your honesty. It really helps other l believe. What a great hubby and dad.
I agree
On video that looked like Abby was having the awful phenomenon called plate envy! Happened as soon as you pulled your food out of the microwave the first time! I hate when it happens and not knowing how to express that would be frustrating!
I agree. Sadly it happens to anyone and the frustration is that she has to accept it just like anyone else. She can ask for a bite but that might open up a can of worms to say how much to share and defining mine and yours. Better to delineate that simply and let her feel the feeling and come back down from it.
@@fragilefleur completely agree!! 🙂
I smiled when you asked her to get her own cup and then she just tried to grab her bowl instead ,thinking you’d fold and get her the cup and water😂😂😂that was definitely abbitude 😂
Hey beautiful family
I love your techniques. I use it in my classroom. Thank you.😊
She got in to a bit of a temper
it is more of a game she enjoy the conflict.
I disagree. Abbie was just in a mood today…
Welcome home Precilla ❤❤❤❤❤ Hi Abbie ❤❤ Well done at school - cheer ❤ that's awesome ❤
Asa is exactly how I am with some of my students who just want all the things and parents baby them. I will have fun and be fun but some teenager behavior is just being teenagers - neurotypical, autism - both still teens.
Abby I feel your frustration on cleaning
Can’t she have fruit if she’s still hungry
Love the sass ! Dad standing his ground . Abbie is a hoot . 😂
We really think about how gentle parenting is nowadays It's more of a nicer way of parenting your kids will still sitting boundaries and not letting your kids run over you That's great if we're talking about regular typically developing kids but I don't know how that will work for all disabled children That's why you have to figure out your own way to parent them and not just do what everybody else is doing because it might not end the best
Disabled children turn into teenagers and adults you can’t baby them
I was kinda amazed by the title of the video because what I've seen them do with Abby is gentle/responsive parenting. It's about setting boundaries and enforcing rules without screaming, hitting, and a focus on natural consequences. The tone he's describing is not out of the realm of gentle parenting. I love the Pleasant Peasant Gwena for her videos on what she thought gentle parenting was and how she actually gentle parents. They's eye opening. Lol
@@jamiersher5131 What most people assume gentle parenting is more of what people nowadays considered permissive parenting which it basically letting your child run the party and that is not what they're going to do disability or not Abby still their child and they're not going to teach her any differently than they do Isaiah
@@cvcubes8578 totally agree. I honestly could go on and on about the topic but didn't want to burden anyone with a novel. Lol.
Loving is what I got….i said remember that
You do an amazing job with Abby. You teach others what works for you that may work for others. Keep rocking it to you both.
Thank you so much!
It’s amazing what you are doing, and we are there as parents to teach them to be as independent as possible: treating them as adults too. Btw my daughter is same as Abby, she would move my hands when she’s upset or try to move my legs in a position that she wants.
I am very impressed on how you handle things