We hope you enjoyed today's film. Have you experienced emotional growth in your lifetime? Or struggled with the themes of today's film? Let us know in the comments below and for more information join our newsletter and get 10% off in our shop: bit.ly/2Rt3lHX
Well, now I know where my chronic depression and anxiety at panic levels comes from. Total lack of connection (I am 56 y/o male) due to a very dysfunctional childhood and therefore I grew to become a dysfunctional adult. Being ground level poor without any idea of what was the matter with me didn’t help. Oh well. I’m grateful for “The School of Life” and other self help material that technology has made possible to access. It’s too late to “fix me” but these videos keep me going. Thank you.
Something I’ve always found interesting is how we are rewarded or complimented much more on our changing physical appearance than our changes in personality. If you lose weight or have a “glow up” many people will praise you. However improving your inner self doesn’t receive that same amount of praise. The person who benefits and notices the most from your emotional growth is you.
That is the reflection of the egocentric society we live in. We think we are so smart and we can always make a difference. But the truth is we are only rational animals who think highly of themselves. The world is not ours and we are not the world.
I totally agree with you. However, only those who really see beyond our outer selves may truly identify our changes, anxieties, fears and feelings. Alas, too few in these modern days care to love and respect the whole person instead of its achievements, belongings, appearence or influence.
It might be due to the brain's need to predict people's behavior to avoid personal harm. Thus we will trust a person's personality is not very much changed even when there is subtle (not dramatic) evidence to the contrary. A confirmation bias will have us focus on qualities that remain the same.
You micro-grow everyday with every judgment and resentment you train yourself to avoid. Pettiness erodes the soul- and it's childish. Don't squash feelings, but forgive and expand beyond your one perspective with reason and empathy. Assert your personality with tact and authenticity everyday. Welcome those who match, and politely let go of those who cannot. You learn from every human interaction. The good and the bad.
I love this. But what if I regress in emotional development/revert back to unhealthy patterns? I don't want to lose the friends I made in the healthier times. But I am struggling.
We all get attached and aim to stay loyal. Please don't be ashamed of that. We all struggle to not be on an autopilot of bad habits and modes of thinking. It may seem like an all or nothing approach, but practicing emotional development takes time and we all take one step back then two steps forward. Quick story: when I practice piano at home I feel like I sound the same. Once in front of my teacher, I tell him the same thing. He told me that "you don't see the change everyday but I see you once a week and from my perspective it's a big step every week". Keep with the micro steps of discipline and hope- and remember, that the benefit outweighs the cost! You may lose the friends that may be toxic to you, but may most likely attract better people along the way. :) The good ones will stick around and be proud of you. Good luck! Hope this longwinded answer helps.
me well first you need to determine what you would like to improve about yourself.. character growth would be getting up at 5am or trying to be a better listener- it very much serves you best and can be very achievement based. To grow emotionally you would do the same thing, look at yourself and decide I want to be more loyal, sympathetic, passionate- emotional growth helps you connect with others and deal with the world around you.
I kept ignoring my emotions (because I didn't know how to deal with them) until I had the biggest breakdown of my life.. now I'm still picking the pieces together but I know I'm growing more mature, I can feel it!
Zain Alabedien Im in a similar place myself! I’m still working towards feeling like my self or my baseline once more, but I think the biggest part of the journey is to accept it will always be a work in progress. Good luck to you on your path back to happiness, I hope it all works out the way you see it
A faster way to experience a life lesson is also watching a movie, or better yet - a TV show. People thinking that cinema is only for entertainment haven't watch high quality stiff yet.
This is actually great advice!! There are potentially great opportunities for shadow work whilst watching something you genuinely enjoy: if a particular character really gets under your skin, feel awkward, etc etc., that's a great chance to look inward and examine why that is happening. Here's an example: maybe there is a socially awkward nerd sort of character and you feel uncomfortable when they're on the screen. There could be something there! Maybe there's projection of how this person views themselves onto that character.
@@tejasshetty2109 Naruto (anime) but beware its gonna teach you so much things that you will probably go for searching another anime just like naruto and start watching animes. Another movie is Anand (old bollywood picture)
Really important to recognize periods of depression or anxiety as unmet emotional needs and opportunities to reflect on what we really need. It's often just interpreted as self-depricating behavior, but if you can see through it it can be like shedding skin.
We have two sides for emotional growth. 1.connection -close friends 2.self expression -passion We became totally a emotionally mature person when we have found good connections and also when we do what we love.
A person who is emotionally grown and healthy is far more attractive and valuable than a person who is just physically healthy or beautiful. Realizing this fact as I am working on making better connections and working on expressing myself and what I stand for. This video is greatly encouraging!
I completely agree that emotional health and growth is necessary in a good relationship, physical contact and connection is also an important aspect of maintaining a relationship
This last 3 years I've done nothing but being in my room, suffering and destroying myself. This year I took therapy and it has helped me a lot. I'm still a very lonely and introvert person that escape from social interactions but at least I'm trying until it works. I'm 30 btw 😂
Listen to Eckhart Tolle and the power of presence. I went through a deep depression and my religion helped me most (Islam - pls no racism by any user). But I think Echart Tolle - a spiritual teacher - teaches a lot of the same principles of Islam and Sufism in a much easy to understand ways to someone who is not a muslim. My depression took me to the stage of identity crises, and I feel I have been through what they call "dark night of the soul".. but believe me, once u get out of it life feels so much different.. happy.. and u get to understand the deeper meanings.. well still learning and wish u all the best. :)
The times I emotionally grew most was when I acted on achieving my goals despite the uncomfortable situations. Uncomfortable situations are part of growing emotionally and learning and letting go of them is the 🔑.
I feel like the faster you accept responsibility is the faster you become an adult no matter what age you are. I swear I became the most happy when I became self sufficient. There’s nothing more fulfilling then listening to your self and supporting yourself. I recently just did a video on the same topic pretty sure y’all will like it. Much love ❤️
This video was recommended to me the day after I ended a 3 year relationship with someone I love because of some unknown mystery force that compelled me. I was blissful and in love, but I was a shutdown, weak, emotional, selfish, and blind lover, even if I hid it well. I couldn't be a version of myself I felt was complete and even though this is a girl I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with, I didn't feel like I could be my best for her. So yesterday, I pulled the trigger spontaneously and severed our bond with a certain clarity and precision I didn't know I was capable of. It shattered her, me as well. Usually I am timid and can't make up my mind during our life together - but when it all went down I just turned into a robot and shut down parts of my brain I new wouldn't let me do it. Today all I could think of is what the fuck max how could you do that. You love her. How could you hurt her, how could you give her up. What I did took a sort of courage I didn't know I had, and it scared me. I truly believe the action I took will not only help me, but help her, because we are very similar people with very similar problems. I care about her so much that I want whats best for her, not just whats best for myself, even if it means I don't get to have her, and she doesn't get to have me. I had to do it, and something inside me told me. Now I know why. I've lived in a fog during the last two years, and something deep down in my subconscious PUSHed me to do this. Like a robot carrying out commands. Your bodies desire to grow is real, and suffering is a part of existence and a message to yourself. I don't know if its your gut or your heart or your brain you need to listen to, but it my case, it was a part of all three. Hopefully I meet her again later in life, and we are both ready to start the rest of our journey as unique, complete people. Deep down you know what needs to be done. Don't block out the pain. Face it. Find courage.
Max Gause I’ve been in a similar situation where the boy I was dating ghosted me. But he told me why he was shutting down and how he felt beforehand. I guess I just wanted to say goodbye in person since I think it’s more respectful that way. I was sad and depressed for weeks. Crying everyday as I wake up and every night before bed. A month has passed since then and I came to realized he might have done it because there was no other way. I think he loved me enough to let me go. And I loved him enough to forgive him and actually feel grateful for him because of it. I guess it’s not about whether or not he have the courage to confront me. It’s about having the courage to confront his feelings and be vulnerable just like you did. I respect that.
Wow, I just did the same thing. Same situation. And it’s so refreshing to see I am not the only one. It’s hard because i love this person so much. But I know deep down on what i want and expect. I see this is a year ago so. How did this turn out for you??
Wow, it's crazy reading this. I went through the exact same thing just how you explained it. This happened 6 months ago for me. I hope you are doing better. I feel like I am just starting and I'm learning so much. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Having to sacrifice connection for self-expression or vice-versa is one of the most tragic situations I can think of. I had to do it a few times and I chose self-expression out of duty for myself but it was always tremendously sad.
Connection and Self-Expression make up our Emotional Drive, which in turn helps us Grow Emotionally. If this the Emotional Drive isn't fulfilled, we'll end up subscribing to The School of Life 🙈👅
I've been gorging on their history and philosophy videos, impressed with their conciseness and depth. So took a chance and watched this one, and bingo! Like you said, they nailed me. But I don't know if I'm ready to start dealing with subjective stuff. Going back to watching philosophy. I'm afraid to see what else they know about me.
Wow! It is incredibly amazing just how alien this video seemed to me. I remember in elementary school that I did try to connect with other students for a few years until a girl and her boyfriend in grade 5 said, "Why do you try to make friends and talk to others so much."You are too different from everybody for you to make friends and too ugly to ever get a girlfriend." I walked away and although emotionally hurt, I gave a lot of thought to what the couple said. It never dawned on me that I looked so different from everyone else in class, spoke very different because French and English were not my original languages, and that other students that race, looks, and mannerisms were so important to them. None of that meant anything to me. But I heeded their advise and simply quit trying to make friends with anybody nor try to get a girlfriend. Grade 6 through 10, I barely spoke nor interacted with anybody at all. I assumed only physical and mental development are important after sixth grade to just now. School never spoke of emotional health. So I simply ignored emotions believing they are childish and mere vestiges of ancient times. I tried to make friends again in 1999. I was fooled to believing I did make friends and even a girlfriend. It felt good to me. I guess social predators saw my heavy inexperience being social and moved in for an attack. My, "girlfriend," convinced me to befriend her six friends and I did. I thought I had a small social circle. But it was all a cruel trap to use, betray, and then painfully abandon me and abuse me emotionally. I deleted them all from my life and have been in social isolation since 8 August 2000 at 18:34. I decided never to allow an attack like that to ever have the possibility of ever happening to me again and never went back to attempting to be social again. I have never had any true friends nor a girlfriend. All my family lives in a different continent. I have nobody in my life. But I never thought it was a problem to be lonely and disconnected from everyone. I do not even have coworkers in my shift. I have believed since 8 August 2000 that social connections, friends, a girlfriend, aquaintences, social interactions, are not important and serve no purpose in life anymore. I just chose to ignore all emotional and social aspects of life. I have done well with nobody in my life. I am extremely self reliant and independent. I never ask help from anybody, not even from professional service providers. I do advanced home, automotive, and property repair completely by myself because I refuse to be robbed by modern, "professionals," and I know nobody to ask for help on anything. I really can not really imagine getting assistance in all that I do. This lowly TH-cam video is the very first time I have heard emotional health is even something at all. I have always concentrated on physical and mental health. I just never knew emotional and social health needed attention also. Needless to say, it is very likely I am emotionally and socially extremely unhealthy. But what importance does it really have? It does not pay my bills, feed me, give me water and shelter. I does not give me protection. It really seems completely irrelevant to me. I am six years from finishing my mortgage payments. I have no credit usage, nor debt, at all, save for the mortgage. I am extremely physically healthy. I have a great paying job tuwt pays more than what college graduates make. I have no loans, leins, nor anything needing major expense to remedy. I still fail to see the importance of emotional health and social connections. I have never done it. I am doing fine.
Hello there! I always read watch the video first and then read the article, so that I can stop to think. May be it would be an option for you too? If you feel like you need to improve your English, like most of us do, you can check out the Duolingo website. It is for free. Best wishes :- )
I spent 20 + years in finding out reasons for my chronic dissatisfaction and a constant feeling of inferiority... Had to beat myself thousands of times again against the walls of what I found out 8 years back was, emotional immaturity. Until I realized that that (can also be called for emotional rigidness) was the primar reason for my pain. Since then I've undergone an immense emotional growth which braught significant transformation in all important areas of my life, specifically on feeling connected, as that was essentiel for me to imrove. Now main focus is on self expression, and here I'm already applying tools I learned in enchancing the connection part.
I am a little worried that these days many social media seem to emphasise more on the stability and respect than on the growth of an individual. The latter will naturally be followed by the former! It’s more important to feel our growing ourselves than to gain other’s respect and attention.
I clicked on this because I'm constantly quitting jobs when I don't agree with their rules. I need to grow emotionally. A need for self-expression was exactly what y'all determined my job problem as. The people on this channel really are intelligent!
This is so accurate it's almost frightening. It's like someone has access to feelings I have but never mention. It's also comforting because one understands there's nothing fundamentally wrong with them. It's just they have unmet needs. Thanks for sharing.
I so appreciate this video. I've been reflecting on and writing about the human drive for connection/intimacy, and, in my own way, self-expression, for the better part of the past year! I never linked these two things to the overarching development of our emotional growth but it makes so much sense and offers such a lovely interpretation of the greater picture. Thank you for making your wonderful videos 💜💜
A female relative of mine was always hungry for praise until we got really tired of praising everything about her but then got used to it. Some day she found one of similar videos and I saw the change in her personality but kept quiet. She told, out of context ,that she heard it wasn’t good to force people to praise you or keep asking them questions about yourself. They get bored if you. Although she learnt this very late in life , I think she’s a better person now.
Emotional growth is not about ignoring, suppressing undesirable emotions, focusing only on good emotions. Maturity in emotions involves personality accountability, self-awareness and authenticity. Some aspects of us we can't get rid of, but most definitely, we can leave to manage them well and still make a significant impact in this world!
It s a hell of a task. But Im happy Im keeping on. Everyday a new challenge and I found the way to manage them easier. Im very proud of the hard and painful work it was getting to know me better.
It's super difficult to ever choose a favorite video when TSOL makes such great videos on fascinating subjects like Philosophy and Literature but this video has such a powerful and resonating message! I'm over here having an epiphany now! Thanks!
What a great paradox. From the time we are born, our bones get flesh on their own. While on the other hand, our emotional growth is entirely dependent on our learnings and experiences! Which can only be enforced if we accept the realities of life. Brain and heart both grows and we are always confused between what to follow, i.e. choosing between sylla and Charybdis!
Experience is education, clarity arises from questioning your emotional restlessness during the night and completeness results from strongly expressing your vulnerabilities throughout the day.
@theschooloflife everyone on your team is doing the highest form of service mankind will ever know! Thanking you all is just not enough. I cherish your overall presentation (especially the vocabulary) and sincerely apply it. Even at my skeptical best I can't argue with anything that's said here. In short, this is my favourite channel. Keep it complex and keep it coming
Satisfying Maslow Pyramid of Needs and heading towards Self Actualisation achieving Flow or Peak experience. People forget its a continual process of state of movement heading towards emotional growth, happiness and hence maturity.
Thanks for the valuable work you guys do. It's so important in today's world overly focused on financial success as a means to solve all our human problems. Thank you so much!
For me, learning from the adversity helps me grow in term of emotional maturity. I am not running away from my negative emotions anymore. I acknowledge and honour my emotions, positive or negative
Thank you so much for including the diversity of skin shades in your videos - I can literally SEE MYSELF in your videos! School of Life is making sure this content is universal for all people - thank you and merci.
Great video Man this is one videio I've been holding off watching for a while afraid of its contents. Its been in my watchlist for a year or so. Its a relief to finally see whats inside
I'm there now, and been for about 6 years. You'd think I'd toughen up with a heart of stone. I'm still overwhelmingly raw. Hate almost everyday of these feelings.
Al Sanchez same, for me it’s 7 years and i still go to bed crying and whenever someone criticizes me or does something to hurt me i can’t brush it off that easily
Thanks for reminding me why I'm a subscriber! I really needed to hear this today! I've been struggling with this these past few days. A nasty recurring combination of anhedonia (at least when it comes to what should be attended to), amotivation (see previous), and an inability to think clearly and focus enough to do those things which better promote emotional growth. Sheer laziness is one thing (which I have in spades), but it's far worse to suffer the repeated experience of wanting to pursue a goal or project while feeling too muddled to do so. This video inspired me to take another crack at accomplishing something today rather than put it off for another day.
The biggest breakthroughs you'll experience are those after involuntary breakdowns, but if you can deeply understand the causes of and learn from your first breakdown you build a life filled with breakthroughs without the hurt and suffering of more breakdowns
I always have the tendency to prove to the world in that process I stay lonely. I think I should become something then only particular person or group will recognise me. This video is making me realise My emotional quotient is below average .
I always say and feel and know that you have a very good team.. From producers to editors to animators to voice over artist, and all those associated with 'The School of Life'.
Thank you for this wonderful content. All the knowledge shared in this short video helped me enormously in this moment of difficulty that I am going through.
Yesterday I snapped at my roommates for something so stupid, I realized that I was not happy with other matters (from both of the drives) and I was releasing anger on people who didn't deserve it.
Is it possible to be very emotionally grown, but then start to revert when you go through depression and shun those around you for not believing or excepting you as one of their own?
I have asked myself that question so many times. I guess all we can do is keep trying to see things, and people, from different perspectives, trying to determine how can we adapt, check our behavior and thoughts or simply move away from what is not healthy for ourselves. Grow emotionally is a back and forth struggle in which we must be aware that sometimes we will fall off the horse, but we should always get up and ride again.
Perhaps then one might ask themselves why they need external acceptance. Don't forget you're an individual and being "one of their own" sounds a lot like wanting to be part of a hive mind. Remaining an individual is just as important as community, maybe even more so.
Ricardo Manenti yes absolutely true...I would like to add that sometimes the change should come from both sides and that it's not all on us and that we must be strong enough to gently ask the others for it, if not we may end up blaming ourselves and wonder why things aren't changing for the better even when we are trying.
Listen to Eckhart Tolle and the power of presence. I went through a deep depression and my religion helped me most (Islam - pls no racism by any user). But I think Echart Tolle - a spiritual teacher - teaches a lot of the same principles of Islam and Sufism in a much easy to understand ways to someone who is not a muslim. My depression took me to the stage of identity crises, and I feel I have been through what they call "dark night of the soul".. but believe me, once u get out of it life feels so much different.. happy.. and u get to understand the deeper meanings.. well still learning and wish u all the best. :) As Eckhart says.. suffering begins when we don't accept the present moment. I wish all world becomes free of suffering and pain. In shaa Allah.
For instance, people often wonder why "maths" and "music" go together in a person. Both activities are primarily acts of self-expression which can be undertaken solo (with the help of a teacher of course, especially at the beginning) with little in the way of connection (except with dead people) - or if done together, the people connect, but in a non-social way.
How to be an authentic and unapologetic person? I remember from my very childhood I used to be a quiet kid. Subconsciously I understood people's feelings more than my age. Even now when I am an adult it has been always difficult for me to express myself. And I get this inner turmoil of not expressing myself properly, I left my stable job because something was not feeling good. I am not currently doing any job because nothing seems attractive to me even those jobs which I used to be so much passionate about. I know I am a witty, sassy, caring person. I am so many things. But not everytime I can express these emotions. And even if I express my trueself, my surroundings makes me feel guilty about myself. From my childhood I never said No to anyone, and now it seems I am suffocating within myself. I want to feel unapologetic about myself. I don't want to feel guilty continuously for being myself. I am going to be 25 next week. I have suffered for 25 years, I don't want to suffer anymore.😢
I do have an issue connecting with others because I feel like they're just going to use me or leave. Sometimes it feels like there's a big sticker on my back that says take advantage of me
We hope you enjoyed today's film. Have you experienced emotional growth in your lifetime? Or struggled with the themes of today's film? Let us know in the comments below and for more information join our newsletter and get 10% off in our shop: bit.ly/2Rt3lHX
I have constant fast emotional growth and I feel pressured to revert back and be like my peers
What effect does our childhood have on our adulthood?
Well, now I know where my chronic depression and anxiety at panic levels comes from. Total lack of connection (I am 56 y/o male) due to a very dysfunctional childhood and therefore I grew to become a dysfunctional adult. Being ground level poor without any idea of what was the matter with me didn’t help. Oh well. I’m grateful for “The School of Life” and other self help material that technology has made possible to access. It’s too late to “fix me” but these videos keep me going. Thank you.
You can fix at any age - just have a good look at your own childhood.
Stonewalling! What it is and how to overcome it
Something I’ve always found interesting is how we are rewarded or complimented much more on our changing physical appearance than our changes in personality.
If you lose weight or have a “glow up” many people will praise you.
However improving your inner self doesn’t receive that same amount of praise.
The person who benefits and notices the most from your emotional growth is you.
I love to think of the positive emotional changes I've made in my life.
That is the reflection of the egocentric society we live in. We think we are so smart and we can always make a difference. But the truth is we are only rational animals who think highly of themselves. The world is not ours and we are not the world.
I totally agree with you. However, only those who really see beyond our outer selves may truly identify our changes, anxieties, fears and feelings. Alas, too few in these modern days care to love and respect the whole person instead of its achievements, belongings, appearence or influence.
It might be due to the brain's need to predict people's behavior to avoid personal harm. Thus we will trust a person's personality is not very much changed even when there is subtle (not dramatic) evidence to the contrary. A confirmation bias will have us focus on qualities that remain the same.
Chatoyancify amazing comment! Thank you for that
You micro-grow everyday with every judgment and resentment you train yourself to avoid. Pettiness erodes the soul- and it's childish. Don't squash feelings, but forgive and expand beyond your one perspective with reason and empathy.
Assert your personality with tact and authenticity everyday. Welcome those who match, and politely let go of those who cannot. You learn from every human interaction. The good and the bad.
Catherine Fernandez I wish I could ‘like’ this comment more than once.
vampy luna That’s very sweet. Made my day! Hope you have a good one as well!
❤️❤️❤️
I love this. But what if I regress in emotional development/revert back to unhealthy patterns? I don't want to lose the friends I made in the healthier times. But I am struggling.
We all get attached and aim to stay loyal. Please don't be ashamed of that. We all struggle to not be on an autopilot of bad habits and modes of thinking. It may seem like an all or nothing approach, but practicing emotional development takes time and we all take one step back then two steps forward. Quick story: when I practice piano at home I feel like I sound the same. Once in front of my teacher, I tell him the same thing. He told me that "you don't see the change everyday but I see you once a week and from my perspective it's a big step every week". Keep with the micro steps of discipline and hope- and remember, that the benefit outweighs the cost! You may lose the friends that may be toxic to you, but may most likely attract better people along the way. :) The good ones will stick around and be proud of you. Good luck! Hope this longwinded answer helps.
Building character and growing emotionally is so under appreciated!
Moses Emmet how do you build character and grow emotional?
me well first you need to determine what you would like to improve about yourself.. character growth would be getting up at 5am or trying to be a better listener- it very much serves you best and can be very achievement based. To grow emotionally you would do the same thing, look at yourself and decide I want to be more loyal, sympathetic, passionate- emotional growth helps you connect with others and deal with the world around you.
oh i see, well i got to control my anger outbursts more lol so i guess i'll get to find out where the root of all my anger comes from
what if i want unlimited power? should i wake up at 3 AM and pray to satan then and cut off my balls?
Moses Emmet right!! People are all about building muscles and building empires!!
I kept ignoring my emotions (because I didn't know how to deal with them) until I had the biggest breakdown of my life.. now I'm still picking the pieces together but I know I'm growing more mature, I can feel it!
Zain Alabedien
Im in a similar place myself! I’m still working towards feeling like my self or my baseline once more, but I think the biggest part of the journey is to accept it will always be a work in progress. Good luck to you on your path back to happiness, I hope it all works out the way you see it
Wow I broke down in 2018 2019 started my healing 2020 feeling better it all makes sense now..
I feel you.
Wow shit sounds like my story
Yeah, have been going through the same. I'm 25
The best way to grow emotionally is to continue to put ourselves into new situations and learn from them.
Hi again
A faster way to experience a life lesson is also watching a movie, or better yet - a TV show.
People thinking that cinema is only for entertainment haven't watch high quality stiff yet.
@@victorious4701 can you suggest some movies about which you're talking about
This is actually great advice!! There are potentially great opportunities for shadow work whilst watching something you genuinely enjoy: if a particular character really gets under your skin, feel awkward, etc etc., that's a great chance to look inward and examine why that is happening. Here's an example: maybe there is a socially awkward nerd sort of character and you feel uncomfortable when they're on the screen. There could be something there! Maybe there's projection of how this person views themselves onto that character.
@@tejasshetty2109 Naruto (anime) but beware its gonna teach you so much things that you will probably go for searching another anime just like naruto and start watching animes.
Another movie is Anand (old bollywood picture)
why do u guys keep posting videos that are so relevant at the right time
Ikr? Lowkey creepy lol
Synchronicities bb
The School of Life is getting into the spirit of Spooktober.
Because your problems are more universal than you think. Most people's are.
i know right i was thinking that as i was watching and noticed it was published the other day lol i feel like theyve been watching my life
Really important to recognize periods of depression or anxiety as unmet emotional needs and opportunities to reflect on what we really need. It's often just interpreted as self-depricating behavior, but if you can see through it it can be like shedding skin.
You should add unmet personal emotional needs. It is your job to meet your needs emotionally and that’s an important thing to remember.
We have two sides for emotional growth.
1.connection
-close friends
2.self expression
-passion
We became totally a emotionally mature person when we have found good connections and also when we do what we love.
That is why I am feeling so wonderful and powerful!! Yes!!
A person who is emotionally grown and healthy is far more attractive and valuable than a person who is just physically healthy or beautiful. Realizing this fact as I am working on making better connections and working on expressing myself and what I stand for. This video is greatly encouraging!
I completely agree that emotional health and growth is necessary in a good relationship, physical contact and connection is also an important aspect of maintaining a relationship
Doing my best to be both
This last 3 years I've done nothing but being in my room, suffering and destroying myself.
This year I took therapy and it has helped me a lot. I'm still a very lonely and introvert person that escape from social interactions but at least I'm trying until it works. I'm 30 btw 😂
Good on you for breaking a safe and "comfortable" habit. I wish you the best.
How awesome that you are taking steps in the right direction. All the best to you!
Listen to Eckhart Tolle and the power of presence. I went through a deep depression and my religion helped me most (Islam - pls no racism by any user). But I think Echart Tolle - a spiritual teacher - teaches a lot of the same principles of Islam and Sufism in a much easy to understand ways to someone who is not a muslim. My depression took me to the stage of identity crises, and I feel I have been through what they call "dark night of the soul".. but believe me, once u get out of it life feels so much different.. happy.. and u get to understand the deeper meanings.. well still learning and wish u all the best. :)
Good on you. Congrats
Hope you're doing good!
Connect but NEVER lose yourself.
I don't want myself.
@@Thomas_Winters Why?
Gina Taylor codependency wasn’t healthy For me
@@tulinbeyduz920 What does that have to do with me asking Sherlock Watson why he doesn't want himself??
How??
The times I emotionally grew most was when I acted on achieving my goals despite the uncomfortable situations. Uncomfortable situations are part of growing emotionally and learning and letting go of them is the 🔑.
Past traumas has crippled me emotionally... but I was able to breakthrough
I feel like the faster you accept responsibility is the faster you become an adult no matter what age you are. I swear I became the most happy when I became self sufficient. There’s nothing more fulfilling then listening to your self and supporting yourself. I recently just did a video on the same topic pretty sure y’all will like it. Much love ❤️
Yeah independence can feel empowering
This video was recommended to me the day after I ended a 3 year relationship with someone I love because of some unknown mystery force that compelled me. I was blissful and in love, but I was a shutdown, weak, emotional, selfish, and blind lover, even if I hid it well. I couldn't be a version of myself I felt was complete and even though this is a girl I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with, I didn't feel like I could be my best for her. So yesterday, I pulled the trigger spontaneously and severed our bond with a certain clarity and precision I didn't know I was capable of. It shattered her, me as well. Usually I am timid and can't make up my mind during our life together - but when it all went down I just turned into a robot and shut down parts of my brain I new wouldn't let me do it.
Today all I could think of is what the fuck max how could you do that. You love her. How could you hurt her, how could you give her up. What I did took a sort of courage I didn't know I had, and it scared me. I truly believe the action I took will not only help me, but help her, because we are very similar people with very similar problems. I care about her so much that I want whats best for her, not just whats best for myself, even if it means I don't get to have her, and she doesn't get to have me. I had to do it, and something inside me told me.
Now I know why. I've lived in a fog during the last two years, and something deep down in my subconscious PUSHed me to do this. Like a robot carrying out commands. Your bodies desire to grow is real, and suffering is a part of existence and a message to yourself. I don't know if its your gut or your heart or your brain you need to listen to, but it my case, it was a part of all three.
Hopefully I meet her again later in life, and we are both ready to start the rest of our journey as unique, complete people.
Deep down you know what needs to be done. Don't block out the pain. Face it. Find courage.
you should try therapy ,maybe just maybe you'll find the answers you are yearning for .
Thank you for sharing,
A year from then, I hope you are alright and I hope she is doing well too
Max Gause I’ve been in a similar situation where the boy I was dating ghosted me. But he told me why he was shutting down and how he felt beforehand. I guess I just wanted to say goodbye in person since I think it’s more respectful that way. I was sad and depressed for weeks. Crying everyday as I wake up and every night before bed.
A month has passed since then and I came to realized he might have done it because there was no other way. I think he loved me enough to let me go. And I loved him enough to forgive him and actually feel grateful for him because of it.
I guess it’s not about whether or not he have the courage to confront me. It’s about having the courage to confront his feelings and be vulnerable just like you did. I respect that.
Wow, I just did the same thing. Same situation. And it’s so refreshing to see I am not the only one. It’s hard because i love this person so much. But I know deep down on what i want and expect. I see this is a year ago so. How did this turn out for you??
Wow, it's crazy reading this. I went through the exact same thing just how you explained it. This happened 6 months ago for me. I hope you are doing better. I feel like I am just starting and I'm learning so much. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Having to sacrifice connection for self-expression or vice-versa is one of the most tragic situations I can think of. I had to do it a few times and I chose self-expression out of duty for myself but it was always tremendously sad.
Tremendously sad sounds better than being lost in a crowd as a nobody
Seriously this channel is watching me. I couldn't have needed this at a better time
G O or maybe some things just are kind of always relevant
@@valzugg I guess that's the best way to look at it
Nothing is coincidence. It's all meant for you my friend. Ask me.
I wish this stuff was talked/ taught about in school.
My professor recommended this to us
+ 1000000000
Connection and Self-Expression make up our Emotional Drive, which in turn helps us Grow Emotionally.
If this the Emotional Drive isn't fulfilled, we'll end up subscribing to The School of Life 🙈👅
This channel is like our FBI who watches us and uploads the right content for us at the right time.
I've been gorging on their history and philosophy videos, impressed with their conciseness and depth. So took a chance and watched this one, and bingo! Like you said, they nailed me. But I don't know if I'm ready to start dealing with subjective stuff. Going back to watching philosophy. I'm afraid to see what else they know about me.
CIA 2
It is😉😂
Wow! It is incredibly amazing just how alien this video seemed to me. I remember in elementary school that I did try to connect with other students for a few years until a girl and her boyfriend in grade 5 said, "Why do you try to make friends and talk to others so much."You are too different from everybody for you to make friends and too ugly to ever get a girlfriend." I walked away and although emotionally hurt, I gave a lot of thought to what the couple said. It never dawned on me that I looked so different from everyone else in class, spoke very different because French and English were not my original languages, and that other students that race, looks, and mannerisms were so important to them. None of that meant anything to me. But I heeded their advise and simply quit trying to make friends with anybody nor try to get a girlfriend. Grade 6 through 10, I barely spoke nor interacted with anybody at all. I assumed only physical and mental development are important after sixth grade to just now. School never spoke of emotional health. So I simply ignored emotions believing they are childish and mere vestiges of ancient times. I tried to make friends again in 1999. I was fooled to believing I did make friends and even a girlfriend. It felt good to me. I guess social predators saw my heavy inexperience being social and moved in for an attack. My, "girlfriend," convinced me to befriend her six friends and I did. I thought I had a small social circle. But it was all a cruel trap to use, betray, and then painfully abandon me and abuse me emotionally. I deleted them all from my life and have been in social isolation since 8 August 2000 at 18:34. I decided never to allow an attack like that to ever have the possibility of ever happening to me again and never went back to attempting to be social again. I have never had any true friends nor a girlfriend. All my family lives in a different continent. I have nobody in my life. But I never thought it was a problem to be lonely and disconnected from everyone. I do not even have coworkers in my shift. I have believed since 8 August 2000 that social connections, friends, a girlfriend, aquaintences, social interactions, are not important and serve no purpose in life anymore. I just chose to ignore all emotional and social aspects of life. I have done well with nobody in my life. I am extremely self reliant and independent. I never ask help from anybody, not even from professional service providers. I do advanced home, automotive, and property repair completely by myself because I refuse to be robbed by modern, "professionals," and I know nobody to ask for help on anything. I really can not really imagine getting assistance in all that I do. This lowly TH-cam video is the very first time I have heard emotional health is even something at all. I have always concentrated on physical and mental health. I just never knew emotional and social health needed attention also. Needless to say, it is very likely I am emotionally and socially extremely unhealthy. But what importance does it really have? It does not pay my bills, feed me, give me water and shelter. I does not give me protection. It really seems completely irrelevant to me. I am six years from finishing my mortgage payments. I have no credit usage, nor debt, at all, save for the mortgage. I am extremely physically healthy. I have a great paying job tuwt pays more than what college graduates make. I have no loans, leins, nor anything needing major expense to remedy. I still fail to see the importance of emotional health and social connections. I have never done it. I am doing fine.
why is it that i know hes speaking but i cant understand anything
some of their videos do feel like one of those _"how english sounds like to non-english speakers"_ videos
Thank god I'm not the only one... I thought my English was that bad lol
Because some of their videos contain complex ideas and you need to focus your attention or even rewatch the vid to understand them.
Yeah. Sometimes I have to watch the video twice to understand it.
Hello there! I always read watch the video first and then read the article, so that I can stop to think. May be it would be an option for you too? If you feel like you need to improve your English, like most of us do, you can check out the Duolingo website. It is for free. Best wishes :- )
I spent 20 + years in finding out reasons for my chronic dissatisfaction and a constant feeling of inferiority... Had to beat myself thousands of times again against the walls of what I found out 8 years back was, emotional immaturity. Until I realized that that (can also be called for emotional rigidness) was the primar reason for my pain. Since then I've undergone an immense emotional growth which braught significant transformation in all important areas of my life, specifically on feeling connected, as that was essentiel for me to imrove. Now main focus is on self expression, and here I'm already applying tools I learned in enchancing the connection part.
I am a little worried that these days many social media seem to emphasise more on the stability and respect than on the growth of an individual. The latter will naturally be followed by the former! It’s more important to feel our growing ourselves than to gain other’s respect and attention.
exactly....
ego vs empathy
I clicked on this because I'm constantly quitting jobs when I don't agree with their rules. I need to grow emotionally. A need for self-expression was exactly what y'all determined my job problem as. The people on this channel really are intelligent!
I am very happy to say that watching school of life and putting it into practice is one of the biggest acts of self expression in my life
I just love this channel so much. Thank you forever for existing ♥️🙏🏽
This is so accurate it's almost frightening. It's like someone has access to feelings I have but never mention. It's also comforting because one understands there's nothing fundamentally wrong with them. It's just they have unmet needs. Thanks for sharing.
So this explained that we DO grow emotionally, and WHY it's important, but didn't really explain HOW we can.
the best way to grow emotionally is to gain experience and simultaneously reflect. With new insides you can put yourself out in new environments.
I so appreciate this video. I've been reflecting on and writing about the human drive for connection/intimacy, and, in my own way, self-expression, for the better part of the past year! I never linked these two things to the overarching development of our emotional growth but it makes so much sense and offers such a lovely interpretation of the greater picture. Thank you for making your wonderful videos 💜💜
I’m so proud to say that I’ve drastically changed emotionally within two years, through hard work of course.
A female relative of mine was always hungry for praise until we got really tired of praising everything about her but then got used to it. Some day she found one of similar videos and I saw the change in her personality but kept quiet. She told, out of context ,that she heard it wasn’t good to force people to praise you or keep asking them questions about yourself. They get bored if you. Although she learnt this very late in life , I think she’s a better person now.
Emotional growth is not about ignoring, suppressing undesirable emotions, focusing only on good emotions. Maturity in emotions involves personality accountability, self-awareness and authenticity. Some aspects of us we can't get rid of, but most definitely, we can leave to manage them well and still make a significant impact in this world!
So much density of quality content packed in six minutes... One can feel the diligence behind this video. Thanks for your efforts.
And another great episode teaching me how to be a human. I gonna become a real boy in no time.
It s a hell of a task. But Im happy Im keeping on. Everyday a new challenge and I found the way to manage them easier. Im very proud of the hard and painful work it was getting to know me better.
All of your videos give me a mini anxiety but at the same time comforting. How is this possible?
It's super difficult to ever choose a favorite video when TSOL makes such great videos on fascinating subjects like Philosophy and Literature but this video has such a powerful and resonating message! I'm over here having an epiphany now! Thanks!
What a great paradox. From the time we are born, our bones get flesh on their own. While on the other hand, our emotional growth is entirely dependent on our learnings and experiences! Which can only be enforced if we accept the realities of life. Brain and heart both grows and we are always confused between what to follow, i.e. choosing between sylla and Charybdis!
Sincerely, thank you School of Life for always making me feel less crazy.
I'm a 26 years old dude with the emotional growth of a 12 years old.
only 26!! you have time to grow, so do so. there's no time limit right now
@@starredeye I'm doing so! I think I have made progress because I'm self aware of my emotional growth.
@@CDX1080 yeah that's a good sign!!! hope life provides you with lots of healing and growth woo!!
@@starredeye Thank you so much! Hope you the best!
Same
I would just like to say a massive thank you to the school of life for continually providing meaningful and insightful food for thought, I’m a big fan
This channel deserves a much bigger spotlight. If everyone was subscribed to it, the world would be a better place
I don't understand how can some people even dislike these videos... These videos are so helpful!!!
These videos always manage to teach me something regardless of what I'm going through or where I am in life, keep up the amazing videos!
Yes a "breakdown" is often really a breakthrough!
LIFE CHANGING VIDEO!!!!!!!! Thank you School Of Life!!!
Experience is education, clarity arises from questioning your emotional restlessness during the night and completeness results from strongly expressing your vulnerabilities throughout the day.
@theschooloflife everyone on your team is doing the highest form of service mankind will ever know!
Thanking you all is just not enough. I cherish your overall presentation (especially the vocabulary) and sincerely apply it. Even at my skeptical best I can't argue with anything that's said here. In short, this is my favourite channel.
Keep it complex and keep it coming
Satisfying Maslow Pyramid of Needs and heading towards Self Actualisation achieving Flow or Peak experience. People forget its a continual process of state of movement heading towards emotional growth, happiness and hence maturity.
This is an absolute gem. I can't express enough gratitude to you guys for this..
Thanks for the valuable work you guys do. It's so important in today's world overly focused on financial success as a means to solve all our human problems. Thank you so much!
For me, learning from the adversity helps me grow in term of emotional maturity. I am not running away from my negative emotions anymore. I acknowledge and honour my emotions, positive or negative
Thank you so much for including the diversity of skin shades in your videos - I can literally SEE MYSELF in your videos! School of Life is making sure this content is universal for all people - thank you and merci.
“A breakdown is a round about attempt to create opportunities for a breakthrough.”
It's not about the number of people we need around us but the people who let us be us.. Is what that matters!
Thank you for posting correct information! I am so tired of this "emotions are thoughts and you just need to think different thoughts" bullsh*t.
The School of Life thank you very
much. Always here when I need
you. Specifically this time. :)
The way you guys made that heart and how it beat peeved me
Great video
Man this is one videio I've been holding off watching for a while afraid of its contents. Its been in my watchlist for a year or so.
Its a relief to finally see whats inside
Mind-blowing
I wish it had subtitles in Portuguese!!!
Today, I give a special shoutout to the animators of 'The School of Life'. Great Job 👍
it couldn't have come at a better time! you always have an answer to my inner turmoil. deepest regard.
Easy.. Indulge in unrequited love and bear all the pains it inflicts upon u and tadaa ur a stone
Not necessarily. Loads of people just accept it and move on. Depends on how you deal with hurt.
@@annnee6818 i cant i hav a very low self esteem...😢😢😢
Who hurt you
I'm there now, and been for about 6 years. You'd think I'd toughen up with a heart of stone. I'm still overwhelmingly raw. Hate almost everyday of these feelings.
Al Sanchez same, for me it’s 7 years
and i still go to bed crying and whenever someone criticizes me or does something to hurt me i can’t brush it off that easily
Thanks for reminding me why I'm a subscriber! I really needed to hear this today!
I've been struggling with this these past few days. A nasty recurring combination of anhedonia (at least when it comes to what should be attended to), amotivation (see previous), and an inability to think clearly and focus enough to do those things which better promote emotional growth. Sheer laziness is one thing (which I have in spades), but it's far worse to suffer the repeated experience of wanting to pursue a goal or project while feeling too muddled to do so.
This video inspired me to take another crack at accomplishing something today rather than put it off for another day.
The biggest breakthroughs you'll experience are those after involuntary breakdowns, but if you can deeply understand the causes of and learn from your first breakdown you build a life filled with breakthroughs without the hurt and suffering of more breakdowns
Very wise and so applicable to daily life.
His nose was magic! 🧙🏼♂️
you're a wizard katie!
You are everywhere.On every funking comment section.
Another amazingly helpful film! Thank you.
Thank you sincerely 🙏🏻
I always have the tendency to prove to the world in that process I stay lonely. I think I should become something then only particular person or group will recognise me. This video is making me realise My emotional quotient is below average .
Thanks Humberto.
I always say and feel and know that you have a very good team.. From producers to editors to animators to voice over artist, and all those associated with 'The School of Life'.
Your voice is doing the work
Thank you for this wonderful content. All the knowledge shared in this short video helped me enormously in this moment of difficulty that I am going through.
Thank you these marvelous videos.
Better to read the comments than watching this film 🙏🙏🙏
Manning up and taking responsibility for everything that happens in our life is a great way to grow emotionally.
I do agree.
So beautiful; many thanks... 🙏
Yesterday I snapped at my roommates for something so stupid, I realized that I was not happy with other matters (from both of the drives) and I was releasing anger on people who didn't deserve it.
I love your videos. Thank you for making them. Please make a workshop in Toronto!
Kamsahamnida 🤘🎉 i ❤ it! Im really sweating out and i feel better! 🎉
I’ve never been able answer what is love? I like your conceptualisation
Is it possible to be very emotionally grown, but then start to revert when you go through depression and shun those around you for not believing or excepting you as one of their own?
I have asked myself that question so many times. I guess all we can do is keep trying to see things, and people, from different perspectives, trying to determine how can we adapt, check our behavior and thoughts or simply move away from what is not healthy for ourselves. Grow emotionally is a back and forth struggle in which we must be aware that sometimes we will fall off the horse, but we should always get up and ride again.
Perhaps then one might ask themselves why they need external acceptance. Don't forget you're an individual and being "one of their own" sounds a lot like wanting to be part of a hive mind. Remaining an individual is just as important as community, maybe even more so.
Ricardo Manenti yes absolutely true...I would like to add that sometimes the change should come from both sides and that it's not all on us and that we must be strong enough to gently ask the others for it, if not we may end up blaming ourselves and wonder why things aren't changing for the better even when we are trying.
FACTS! that does happen its like your ego gets bruised
Listen to Eckhart Tolle and the power of presence. I went through a deep depression and my religion helped me most (Islam - pls no racism by any user). But I think Echart Tolle - a spiritual teacher - teaches a lot of the same principles of Islam and Sufism in a much easy to understand ways to someone who is not a muslim. My depression took me to the stage of identity crises, and I feel I have been through what they call "dark night of the soul".. but believe me, once u get out of it life feels so much different.. happy.. and u get to understand the deeper meanings.. well still learning and wish u all the best. :)
As Eckhart says.. suffering begins when we don't accept the present moment. I wish all world becomes free of suffering and pain. In shaa Allah.
For instance, people often wonder why "maths" and "music" go together in a person. Both activities are primarily acts of self-expression which can be undertaken solo (with the help of a teacher of course, especially at the beginning) with little in the way of connection (except with dead people) - or if done together, the people connect, but in a non-social way.
How to be an authentic and unapologetic person? I remember from my very childhood I used to be a quiet kid. Subconsciously I understood people's feelings more than my age. Even now when I am an adult it has been always difficult for me to express myself. And I get this inner turmoil of not expressing myself properly, I left my stable job because something was not feeling good. I am not currently doing any job because nothing seems attractive to me even those jobs which I used to be so much passionate about.
I know I am a witty, sassy, caring person. I am so many things. But not everytime I can express these emotions. And even if I express my trueself, my surroundings makes me feel guilty about myself. From my childhood I never said No to anyone, and now it seems I am suffocating within myself. I want to feel unapologetic about myself. I don't want to feel guilty continuously for being myself. I am going to be 25 next week. I have suffered for 25 years, I don't want to suffer anymore.😢
Your videos are absolutely brilliant in every possible way. Thanks for sharing all this knowledge with the public
I love how you pronounced tissue.
TH-cam algorithm scares me. It’s pushes the video to the top of my home screen that relates to how I’m feeling right this very moment!!
i rlly love this channel idk why
Yes, we long for many things, most of which we won't get. Especially if the getting involves other people.
i love the way you said tissue in the beginning
I do have an issue connecting with others because I feel like they're just going to use me or leave. Sometimes it feels like there's a big sticker on my back that says take advantage of me
I'm Promoting you to a array of Hollywood friends who need a voice of reason. Thank you guys... You're doing positive work, and it shall be shared
Thank you this is well needed in order to emotionally grow
I expected this video can tell how we can grow! 🙁 this is all about when we might feel like it’s time to grow!
Thank you.
I just learned more in this 6 min video than four years in college! what an irony lol