Has to be a hoover trigger. No object constancy but if someone mentions you. You will be on their radar either as challenge fuel or hoover per h.g.tudor. if you ever hear "I'm the best"- run.
I've found my true self I've discovered I can thrive. This year when AGAIN he said "we r getting a divorce, you don't make me happy," -now I knew what he was,!!!!!!! Yay. I didn't in the past. I moved into spare room, can't divorce for 2 yrs in new zealand but I could now claim welfare as we had seperated and I had a car and money in a bank from a job I had a few yrs ago, I could now make steps to move out So while I was in it, u learn, grow, get your self worth back, thrive, move forward without him when the time came to be alone... .. Although the hoovering was bad, I resisted as I had learnt he was a covert narc 10mths before. Boundaries were going up everywhere!!! Youngest just left, - we had 5, We sold house, this was really happening I realised, finally my way out!! I've bought 8 hrs away... But luckily mortgage free nearly. Loan from a mate as a little short, from equity in our family home. I get no spousal support from him in nz The love bombing now is off the charts, but I know what he is now and the cycles will be back, but I'm gone! I can still be the mum, and still be kind, but when he devalues me, I can dissappear Before I couldn't as we lived in the same house. Now I can breathe. No egg shells I move to the new house in 2 weeks. I'm house sitting for now, just to get rid of the ptsd. That anxiety when u hear his car.. What mood's he in today after work, what moods he in when he wakes up!?! Lol Now trying to figure out how to leave the family chat, without upsetting kids as they think we are 'just on a break' As that's what he's telling everyone. Can't do the abuse anymore... Unless he has a personality bi pass, the break will be forever.
Five years ago, I befriended a covert narcissist, who, in order to make me marry his sister, manipulated me. After the happening of initial discard, reverse hoovering took place. It(reverse hoovering) took place until I discarded him by establishing no contact. I would like to know from Ben if he will hoover me.
My ex would always say “I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.” And I would tell him he’s right because his words mean shit. And that I told him I needed to see his action. And that ended that because he still wanted to talk to the beast he was cheating on me with. He thought if he gave me 1k that would change things. I hate him so much
HELL NO!!... BUT WHY DO YOU CARE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HEAL??...YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM BLOCKED ANYWAYS...WANTING A HOOVER IS BASICALLY YOU STLL SEEKING VALIDATION FROM SOMEONE WHO NEVER GAVE A DAMN FROM THE BEGINNING!!
I just got hoovered today and it's embarrassing how happy and angry it makes me feel at the same time. I just hate that he still has that much power over me to illicit Amy reaction whatsoever. I won't respond. I'll be strong. I hope. I wish I didn't fantasize about getting hoovered as if it's all I'm living for but when I actually get hoovered I realize how pathetic it all is. I'm being pathetic. He's being pathetic. The whole thing is just so immature and pitiful. What sane rational adult survives off the hope of a hoover from a narcissist and has a mini internal 4th of july when it happens? Me apparently. Back to the drawing board.
I received a call today. It was him. I completely paralyzed and also felt a relief of hearing his voice. He said Im sorry for how he wronged me and he wants to speak to me in person. I said "no, no, I dont know, no no no I dont know" and "call me tomorrow" I wont answer. I feel like a coward for not just hanging up.
You joking ?? Nothing in America speaks real LOVE …..everyone knows this ….get ready to be single for the rest of your life and your mom will be your truly friend ….
Changed my number, blocked him on social media and i deleted my social media. 600 miles apart. 😓
Me too
Same
Has to be a hoover trigger. No object constancy but if someone mentions you. You will be on their radar either as challenge fuel or hoover per h.g.tudor. if you ever hear "I'm the best"- run.
I've found my true self
I've discovered I can thrive.
This year when AGAIN he said "we r getting a divorce, you don't make me happy,"
-now I knew what he was,!!!!!!! Yay. I didn't in the past.
I moved into spare room, can't divorce for 2 yrs in new zealand but I could now claim welfare as we had seperated and I had a car and money in a bank from a job I had a few yrs ago, I could now make steps to move out
So while I was in it, u learn, grow, get your self worth back, thrive, move forward without him when the time came to be alone... .. Although the hoovering was bad, I resisted as I had learnt he was a covert narc 10mths before. Boundaries were going up everywhere!!!
Youngest just left, - we had 5, We sold house, this was really happening I realised, finally my way out!!
I've bought 8 hrs away... But luckily mortgage free nearly. Loan from a mate as a little short, from equity in our family home.
I get no spousal support from him in nz
The love bombing now is off the charts, but I know what he is now and the cycles will be back, but I'm gone!
I can still be the mum, and still be kind, but when he devalues me, I can dissappear
Before I couldn't as we lived in the same house.
Now I can breathe. No egg shells
I move to the new house in 2 weeks.
I'm house sitting for now, just to get rid of the ptsd.
That anxiety when u hear his car.. What mood's he in today after work, what moods he in when he wakes up!?!
Lol
Now trying to figure out how to leave the family chat, without upsetting kids as they think we are 'just on a break'
As that's what he's telling everyone.
Can't do the abuse anymore...
Unless he has a personality bi pass, the break will be forever.
Five years ago, I befriended a covert narcissist, who, in order to make me marry his sister, manipulated me. After the happening of initial discard, reverse hoovering took place. It(reverse hoovering) took place until I discarded him by establishing no contact. I would like to know from Ben if he will hoover me.
Thank you but a quarter of the video is your advertising… 😢
Hoovers aren't love connections.
He is sending me postcards
I changed my phone number, blocked etc , I told him not to contact me and he does anyway, “I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU”😔😔
My ex would always say “I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.” And I would tell him he’s right because his words mean shit. And that I told him I needed to see his action. And that ended that because he still wanted to talk to the beast he was cheating on me with. He thought if he gave me 1k that would change things. I hate him so much
You keep it REAL
They hoover because they got dumped. They're pathetic.
Ben, Do Narcissists ever permanently discard supplies (exes) phone numbers or emails?
HELL NO!!... BUT WHY DO YOU CARE IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HEAL??...YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM BLOCKED ANYWAYS...WANTING A HOOVER IS BASICALLY YOU STLL SEEKING VALIDATION FROM SOMEONE WHO NEVER GAVE A DAMN FROM THE BEGINNING!!
@@chaichai9314maybe she is asking for another reason…
@@chaichai9314your delusional this monster never liked you in the place
MASSUVE HOOVER: After 7 years no contact, my X contacted me to tell me his girlfriend died. Oh, and also, he has cancer.
😮💨
Why did you LET him contact you in the first place
Life has so many disappointments 😔😔
I just got hoovered today and it's embarrassing how happy and angry it makes me feel at the same time. I just hate that he still has that much power over me to illicit Amy reaction whatsoever. I won't respond. I'll be strong. I hope.
I wish I didn't fantasize about getting hoovered as if it's all I'm living for but when I actually get hoovered I realize how pathetic it all is. I'm being pathetic. He's being pathetic. The whole thing is just so immature and pitiful.
What sane rational adult survives off the hope of a hoover from a narcissist and has a mini internal 4th of july when it happens? Me apparently.
Back to the drawing board.
You're OK. Just stay NO CONTACT. You'll be fine.
I received a call today. It was him. I completely paralyzed and also felt a relief of hearing his voice. He said Im sorry for how he wronged me and he wants to speak to me in person. I said "no, no, I dont know, no no no I dont know" and "call me tomorrow" I wont answer. I feel like a coward for not just hanging up.
Trauma bond
@@louno8506you’re not a coward. It’s so hard to let go
You joking ?? Nothing in America speaks real LOVE …..everyone knows this ….get ready to be single for the rest of your life and your mom will be your truly friend ….
What does love mean for you as a narcissist?
Have you been evaluated as having narcissistic personality disorder?
I love what you do for me.
Ben you get points for trying not to repeat old patterns! Keep it up.
A
😮