"I don't like mirrors. I always see unpleasant faces in them. But this morning was different: there were no faces in the bathroom mirror. Not even my own."
Ray Bradbury's opening to Fahrenheit 451 always inspires me to start a story. It's simple but the profoundness of it rings true throughout the story: "It was a pleasure to burn."
3:15 reminds me of The office when Robert California had just asked Erin to describe her day, but when she said " I woke up" he stops her to reply with " Never tell people you woke up. That is how everyone's day has began since the dawn of man". lmao. of course her ditsy response of "okay, suddenly I was awake", is so funny.
Also Red Sister, by Mark Lawrence: "It is important, when killing a nun, to bring an army of sufficient size". So cool. Its just an awesome opening that immediately lets us know what kind of badasses, our heroines are going to become.
‘the snow in the mountains was melting and bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation.’ - the secret history donna tartt can write first lines like no other! she’s incredible.
"It was a pleasure to burn. It was a pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and changed. With the brass nozzle in his fists, with this great python spitting its venomous kerosene upon the world, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of blazing and burning to bring down the tatters and charcoal ruins of history." -Ray Bradbury (Farenheit 451) my brother had this book for a school assignment and i carelessly opened up the first page not expecting to care much about it, but this opening really grabbed me and i think about it a lot. when i learned what the character was doing, i stole the book and read it all. i fell in love with ray bradbury quite quickly.
“the early summer sky was the colour of cat vomit.” - uglies by scott westerfeld. i read the uglies series when i was 12/13 - it was my intro to teen dystopian fiction (this would have been 2014, when that genre was peaking), but it was so immersive and wonderful to me at the time. i think it made me realize what writing could be, and how it could make me feel. i was hooked from the first line; it certainly paints a clear picture in my head and i can distinctly remember it years later.
I've just started reading B. Sanderson's book "Mistborn - The Final Empire". And just look at this awesome, intriguing first sentence: "Sometimes, I worry that I’m not the hero everyone thinks I am."
Just found this post. Read your line. I'd keep reading. Here's mine: "Phat Larry, my boss, has this theory about Twinport, British Columbia: he says it’s the place all the weirdos come to escape the rest of the world."
I went back to read my favourite novel's first chapter, "The Goldfinch" by Donna Tartt, because I thought it was very similar to that of "The Girls". (At least in the concept) The position of the chapter in the timeline is basically at the end, we learn that Theo, the protagonist, is in Amsterdam(we don't know why) and something has went very wrong (we don't know what but we can guess it has to do with murder). Now, I believe this is very important because the Goldfinch is a THICC book (800+ pages) and it narrates the life of Theo from adolescence to neo-adulthood, so the reader needs to have questions as soon as possible to not drop the book. So, what the chapter does is changing the reader's questions to the book. It will not be "what is going to happen?", but "How is this going to happen?". The chapter, and the book at large, obviously provide other elements: the relationship that he has with his dead mother, the inciting incident and the little painting that gives the name to the novel have all been introduced by the first 50 pages, but i really like the first chapter because I believe that it is essential to long books. It is basically the writer telling you: "Ok, this is point G of the story, see how everything is fucked up? Alright, now let's go back to point A and let's see how things got like this." It is not the end that matters, but the journey. I could also make a similar point for "The Name Of The Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss, but in that book it is more about the structutr of the book than the first chapter. (My apologies if the comment seems a bit clunky, english ain't my language and in here it's 11:00 pm)
"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice." That's (in my honest opinion) one of the best first lines of all time...
Don’t give backstory in the first chapters, hint backstory. As in don’t go into someone’s entire life story about how their parents died and how that makes them feel. Just. Don’t. Stop. That. A line or two of backstory hinting, is all you need. The reader will do the rest.
@@xtonibx5770 Oh yeah! XD Some dude said something on the lines of: "You'll never make it as a fictional author. Give up now. You'll never publish fiction..." It was basically that, like that was the basic message but this guy had a short paragraph about it and he might've said something about agencies or publishing houses and chances I'll get chosen - I could be so wrong. But basically, he said the words "you'll never be an author/get your stories published" and "fiction" and "writing is hard" so I took *fiction* from all that and thought I could make a good response. It was so random and out of nowhere. Man really thought he could stop someone from writing with a strange reply in a YT comment section - but it wasn't just me he was doing this to! I like to scroll through comments and I saw him saying the exact same thing to other random people - copy and paste. I really remember all of this because Shaelin posted another writing video and she mentioned a guy sending hate/disrespectful comments to everyone in her comment section and she got him blocked lol I'm pretty sure it was this same guy ha And thank you, excuse the long response ha
Your tips and ideas are always so good and eye-opening, I've never thought of the first chapter and its parallels with a short story! That was such a useful thought exercise
"Later, it was said the man came from the north, from Ropers Gate." - the first line of Andrzej Sapkowski's short story "The Witcher", which is basically the first one that the reader gets to read.
I read a book where the main character likes fairytales so it could be like Once upon a time.... something that always lead to a story of true love and happy endings. Trouble is that was never something mc got. No her life was a big......
“Once upon a time, my life was fucked up.” or something along those lines. It doesn’t have to be a fairytale or fantasy or anything of the sort. Words or words and letters and letters. “Once upon a time” could start an action adventure if you wanted. It’s just a manor of going from that to the story. “Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a girl of nineteen was…” “Once upon a time, I died…” You get it.
I stumbled upon your channel as I was planning on writing a novel and omg it has been so helpful and informative! I now have a notebook with notes from so many of your videos and they've helped my writing so much. Thank you for sharing all your knowledge!!
Shaelin you have been helping me throughout the entire journey of writing this book! You’re tutoring is “stellr” - to quote my own brand lol. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into helping us writers 🙏
I like the idea of the first chapter as a short story. The first scene of my science fiction series is a prologue and readable as a stand alone short story. That was more because I've gone back and forward to including it or not, but I kinda like how it turned out. Well, the potential it has, it's hasn't been edited yet. I like first lines that have more meaning than what is literary said. My current WIP starts with a statement that's symbolic for one of the big themes of the story and in another I've used the first line to introduce the colorful language of the protagonist.
Thanks for this great overview and examples! I’m about to start a short story (while I’m planning the next draft of my novel). So much to think about… I need to just get stuff on paper, do a few passes, and build up the story with these guidelines in mind.
Hi, I've been flirting with your channel on and off for years ;) or your channel with me lol. I just wanna say, great content and this is really really useful and makes me think I should still study creative writing somehow, because I can see/hear how it is benefitting you to have studied in that field. Thanks for sharing with us :)
It's funny how differently we react to things sometimes. That line about "Before my wife became a vegetarian I thought she was completely unremarkable" thing. It made me go off on a rant in my head: "If you think she's THAT unremarkable, why the heck is she your WIFE? How were you ever interested in her at all? How did that happen?" lol. XD The other one with "Name was dead, but they didn't know it yet" was really cool though. :)
Okay so I know this was kind of touched on? Since that last book you referenced was kind of also referencing this? But "Marley was dead to begin with" from A Christmas Carol is SUCH a good opening line in my opinion.
This is from legend by Marie lu it really hooks you its My mother thinks I'm dead whenever I read that I feel like I'm reading the book for the first time its amazing!
Hey! I'm a writer too! I wish I could come to novel writing class with you. I love to learn about this craft... I think your videos are smart and helpful. I'm not a fan of Meg Letorre, or whatever. Take over!
Hey Shaelin, I recently discovered your channel and I'm really enjoying it. I generally agree with your perspective that we should limit the mundane, but don't you often need some backdrop of normalcy to contrast the inciting incident? That's often going to be in novel opening. Not sure how to avoid it completely. I'm laying mine out in a way where there's a sense of a normal day but with something not quite right. It's just so frustrating sometimes to account for readers having literally no attention span nowadays, lol.
Syrah moaned breathlessly. Her heart beat like a thunderstorm. Her belley clinched in heat and greed coursed though her burning veins. Well my newerst opening lines. And I'm still trying to motivate you to edit at least a part of my book even if it is Fantasy. Sorry but part of the theme is women's rights and freedom and I have a feeling you would be a good fit there. Great video by the way. Hugs
In the topic of first lines and openings nothing I have seen has ever beaten the line of "Ash fell from the sky" from mistborn: final empire and other openings from other mistborn books. It does set up the darker tones of worldbuilding as point of interest and has inbuild conflict from the start.
Shaelin, would you do a writing video that covers the essential elements of a three act structure as you see it today? I know you have a video on snyder's 15 beats that you used at one point, but I'm wondering if what you see necessary in these three acts has evolved in some way? I love how you used examples of good opening lines here. Maybe you could show some examples that way in the 3 act video, too.
My friends and I are writing a book together. How can I convince them to write a less boring beginning? Right now, it's basically the characters' morning routine. After that, though, the first event happens and it jumps right in.
One of the greatest real work of Art `The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle` from Haruki Murakami starts with a scene protagonist cooking pasta. Or many other examples... such as Ishiguro's books or Toni Morrison, Melville, Proust, Henry James, Henry miller, and so on. So I am not quite sure which is which. What would be a good starting point? It is hard to say. I would say it mostly matter who you are as a writer so to be able to claim the story is interesting indeed, even when starting it in a dull way. then the great American writer John Updike says: just start the novel by showing character's normal life. Who is this person lost in the universe? Something like this.
Haha if only you'd posted this last week, before I handed in the first chapter of my current novel for workshop 😂 I just started the video, so hopefully I'm not about to get roasted.
Your tips are really great. Although you are really so young( honestly you remind me of my niece though she is just 10 and is very cute. She loves to listen to stories and we are slowly pushing her to reading more.). Even though you are so much younger, I am feeling that I am learning things from you and these would help improve what I am trying to write. I do suggest you take a look at a tool named "twine" though, it is meant for interactive fictions and it can actually help you making story plots and such. I use it often. Maybe, you can also find it to be a new venture of yours. Keep on sharing your thoughts with us. :)
Do you think you will make a video on the fundamentals of writing a screenplay? I loved your past videos that were about screenplays but if you could do a video on how to tell a story in a script format I think that could be really helpful.
Honestly I don't consider myself a very skilled screenwriter and I have very little experience so I'm not sure if I feel comfortable or qualified giving advice on screenwriting. There is a TON of information out there on screenwriting and a ton of books and resources since it's a form that has a lot of discussion about craft in its community.
@@maliceburgoyne495 Please stop being condescending to strangers in my comment section. Your harsh judgement is rude and unfair. If you do it again I will block you from my channel so that well meaning people don't have to be berated with your entitled criticism that doesn't come from a place to legitimacy at all, but clearly from some kind of superiority complex. I usually avoid replying to you on principle, but if you do it again I will just block you.
I know it's obviously a super classic example and 1984 has a lot of problems, but for me nothing will ever match "it was a cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."
Is it bad to start a book with your character being scolded/criticized by their boss if it's not really related to the story but more to create and image?
If I have two main characters how do I introduce them? Especially if they are each other's love interests. One of them is sort of the main main character but do I introduce her first in the first chapter and introduce the other later or in the second chapter?
@@theonetruedonut The two know each other already but just barely aside from talking a bit over the years at school and some feisty confrontations. They don't get along at all at first. I want to have them have a fated meeting that sets up the romantic part of the story near the beginning and that influences the entire story. It's a character driven story that revolves around these two characters and their friends making the major character count around about 5 or 6.
Mine was telling the reader that her life was about to be dreadful, terrible and downright misery, because today was her birthday. It is her birthday but that's not why she will be miserable
7:45 I actually know a webtoon like that. I think it's called "Boyfriend of the Dead" or something. It starts with this girl slaughtering zombies and this one zombie that doesn't go insane like the others, and is a mix of a romance a zombie apocalypse and is really goofy but serious at once Highly recommended. Anyway, that part of the video made me laugh because of that
I start the first chapter by putting an aspect of my character and/or their world on display. For example, main character is starving. They have X amount of money but the cheapest meal costs Y. The main character buys something for the price of X and resells it for Z dollars. They have more than enough for a meal This shows that the main character is poor but clever. (Btw if that example gave you ideas, you have the full right to use it)
It was midnight, and a crowd had gathered around Big Ben awaiting the fireworks. Nearby, Danny Boyle and Alice May walked under the bright city lights towards his house. He'd just finished work as Danny was enjoying the piece of their walk. He tried counting the cracks on the pavement in between the shadows and thought about what he wanted to be. Now Danny doubted he'd ever get there. All his life, he wished to be a writer. But that seemed so hopeless now. After his mother died, Danny couldn't face it. Couldn't face anything except for his father and little sister, Emily. And of course, Alice. Alice, who was bright and reliable and the only other person who had been there for him his whole life. My opening of my SCI-FI Romance. I'm struggling with it because of the readers in my writing group told me it's rushed and I'm not sure what else to say about Danny. Should I write more about Alice or talk more about her in the next chapters? I know what to say about her, but not sure if I should write it in the first chapter. ***
My book starts with her waking up from a nightmare, and I've seen multiple videos saying that's bad, but it's important for the plot later on. Ofcourse, this'd be useless if my readers never get there. What should I do?
If it's important to the plot and the characters then yes. Sometimes it's okay to break some rules but only if it fits the plot, tone, characterization and overall story. It's your story so you choose
Thank you for clarifying why not to use flashbacks in the beginning - many writers want to start with that. ❤ You explained it well - no one cares yet - because they don't have an attachment to the character yet.
The story I'm writing starts with an argument between two best friends and by the end of the first chapter one of the friends dies without reconciling with the other.
my novel starts off with a prayer thrown to the winds speaking of the broken world and the terrible people in it, then the person dies. (that’s the outline of the prologue) it’s a novel about a corrupt world and the gods who made it so, and a gang who want to change it… 🤨
@@jilliandreams ok, mine is nowhere near that, I have three 'chapters' and only like 5,000 words and not to be annoying but what about for a middle grade book? Probably like the same but just if you know.
Can someone tell me if this is a good opening? On weekdays, every after school, our neighbor Karl would show up in front of our door to ask me why I was still wearing my school uniform when we were supposed to be heading to our place-in the arcade.
Saurav Chaudhary Pantser. People who don’t plot or do minimal plotting before they start writing, coming up with the story as they go along never knowing where it will take them.
I don't have any published books, that's why you can't find them! I have a number of published short stories (which are in the linktree in my social media bios) and am currently pursuing publishing a book, but it's a long process!
I killed my first prologue because of @6:45. The prologue was nasty horror, with a demon, child sacrifice, and cannibalism. Yet my story is supposed to be paranormal romance. Yeah, bad things happen here and there in the story, but mostly it's about the hero attempting to communicate with the heroine, and recruit her help in destroying the villain. I spun the prologue into a flashback and plopped it down in the center of the story. My second shot at a prologue also failed, but for a reason not given in Shaelin's video. It showed my villain before he became a villain. It showed him hurting emotionally, and desperate for an answer. Problem is, readers are like baby birds and latch onto the first sympathetic character they see as their protagonist. When they see the villain in chapter 2 he is a raging predator, not some guy who is hurting. Can't be the same guy, can it? Maybe it's that guy (the hero) they met in chapter 1. I dropped that prologue and solved the problem it solved in a different way.
"A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?"
Everyone here who doesnt have a novel idea yet : “OMGosh, I’m so going to base my book on the character waking up and brushing their teeth in a dystopian world!!!”
I totally want to read the romance novel which starts with the love interest talking disgustingly cute lovey-dovey talk over the phone while they are slaughtering a whole room full of zombies.
Good to see you're doing well with the channel because you have no future doing audiobook narration lol jk But that reading at 15:00? Ugh. Late for something? ;)
is it cliche if a character's saliva almost drip from his mouth because he has been sleeping like forever in the middle of the priest's gospel?? this is not the same as the character waking up in the morning thing, right?
i don't know if you look at requests, but could you possibly make a video talking about how to write mental illness in novels properly? mental health is something i'm passionate about, but i have a deep fear that i may romanticize it, or make it too poetic. i don't know if this is something you have experience in, but i would love to see a video on how to avoid romanticizing mental illness (and other things related) in writing. thanks!
My first question would be if this is something you have personal experience with or not? If so, use your experiences as a guide. If not, stay away from Hollywood representations, spend some time reading forums ran by and for people with mental illness, addiction forums are another good resource because of how hand in hand the two exist. Don't be afraid of painting the 'good' in a favorable light, as long as the negative is handled carefully and honestly. My second question is whether it's integral to the story or not? All people are screwed up, mental illness denotes a pattern that is inescapable without external help, and sometimes at all. Imagine a household with a mother who's rapid cycling bipolar 1 (rapid refers to day-to-day changes, which is fairly rare, it's more common for week-to-week changes within a relatively rare category of bipolar) and there are a few kids under her care. Depending on whose perspective you're writing from, you could write about the thrill the mother feels going to bars seeking the attention of men other than her husband when she's manic while forgetting that she's left her children in the car to take care of themselves, how dependent she becomes on that attention for any self-worth that she's willing to bribe her children to keep her secrets and lie to everyone in her life. While she's depressive, the guilt eats at her, she wants to atone but doing so means admitting her crimes against the family, and quickly the guilt of everything bad she's done in her life is all she can focus in on like a laser and it's so crippling that she can't get out of bed or eat for days. In the first few days of her next manic episode, she's the image of wifely 'perfection' in her mind, cleaning, cooking, showering her husband with affection, and as soon as he's had a bad day and says something cross towards her, she's preparing to sneak out. But to leave her kids at home while their father is at work or asleep means abandoning her duties as a mother, so she wakes them all up and hurries them into the car to drive off to the bar, starting the cycle all over again. The children's perspective would be quite different in this example, the 'good' comes from all of the unexpected days of being pulled out of school for road trips, a wanted toy being given as a bribe and the child's mind not being able to grasp that having fun with that toy will give them guilt later, or perhaps simply the promise of new toys, dresses, etc., are used as bribes and a rage develops over each broken promise. They develop their own neuroses as defense mechanisms against her, and their mother's violent outbursts are old hat, even if they're scary at that moment. Sitting in a car for hours with only a parking lot light to illuminate the world conjures demons in the shadows that give them an unhealthy paranoia for some and drives the others to want to explore that darkness themselves. Some of the siblings will develop a near-unbreakable bond caring for each other, while the others will want nothing to do with the rest, even to the point of ignoring them while they are crying over a skinned knee or broken bone from a fall. Every little reminder of them is really just a reminder of their mother, they become cold and distant, setting up their own patterns later in life. The day-to-day life of the children will always be a guessing game to which mother they'll see at home after school, regardless of how they relate to their siblings, even the oldest will have that moment of apprehension opening the door. Perhaps the children are all grown now, and dealing with their mother is done through episodes with their therapist or not at all, stuffing the memories down until it becomes harmful to themselves. They catch themselves doing something she did, and it drives a different kind of paranoia that they're becoming just like her, the cold and distant ones are haunted the most by this, believing they're finally free of their whole family until past becomes prologue. I hope this gives you some ideas on how to handle it from different perspectives. The biggest thing to remember in my opinion is the cycles, they repeat in everyday life as often as they repeat generationally for certain illnesses. Anyone can suffer from clinical depression or anxiety given the right triggering event(s), but others are shown through the research to have strong ties to genetics and others, so know which mental illnesses you're giving your characters and learn everything you can about those particular diagnoses, the DSM and ICD are invaluable in pinning down specifics. Best wishes!
@@Sx--F Hehe, no problem, I was worried I'd gone on a rant and just sort of ended in the middle of my thoughts. There are a ton of clinical resources if you know where you're looking, but sometimes the best place to start is the library if you already know the diagnoses and want really in-depth books on their particulars. Otherwise, thinking backward towards a diagnosis is the way to go, what's happened, how are they acting, etc. and then use the DSM and/or ICD to find something that fits.
@@LillyAlara thank you! my problem is i have experience, but i don't exactly know how to translate it well, along with some other things but you answered them all relaly well! have a lovely day
@@Sx--F You too! The trick I think is blending it with other situations, and the pov changes a lot of how you approach it. If you want to talk specifics at all, let me know, otherwise best of luck!
"I don't like mirrors. I always see unpleasant faces in them. But this morning was different: there were no faces in the bathroom mirror. Not even my own."
Woah okay, that IS an exception to the rule, lol.
damnn
Plus mirrors are reminiscent of sand; course, rough, irritating and it gets everywhere. A lot like clunky dialog lol
Who wrote that one I loved it
creeeeeepyyyy
how to start a novel; make the first line be "Hey everyone, it's Shaelin" and you're secured for life
Ray Bradbury's opening to Fahrenheit 451 always inspires me to start a story. It's simple but the profoundness of it rings true throughout the story:
"It was a pleasure to burn."
No because it’s so beautiful. I love Bradbury 😭
3:15 reminds me of The office when Robert California had just asked Erin to describe her day, but when she said " I woke up" he stops her to reply with " Never tell people you woke up. That is how everyone's day has began since the dawn of man". lmao. of course her ditsy response of "okay, suddenly I was awake", is so funny.
Opening line of Fleur by Louis Erdrich: "The first time she drowned in the cold and glassy waters of Lake Turcot, Fleur Pillager was only a girl."
That's an amazing first line!
It's an amazing story!
another good opening:
“It was a bright cold day in april, and the clocks were striking thirteen” -1984
Oh dang, I'm terrible at flirting IRL. I'll work on that for my book. Lol
Honestly mood
Also Red Sister, by Mark Lawrence: "It is important, when killing a nun, to bring an army of sufficient size".
So cool. Its just an awesome opening that immediately lets us know what kind of badasses, our heroines are going to become.
‘the snow in the mountains was melting and bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation.’
- the secret history
donna tartt can write first lines like no other! she’s incredible.
chills every time
"It was a pleasure to burn.
It was a pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and changed. With the brass nozzle in his fists, with this great python spitting its venomous kerosene upon the world, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of blazing and burning to bring down the tatters and charcoal ruins of history."
-Ray Bradbury (Farenheit 451)
my brother had this book for a school assignment and i carelessly opened up the first page not expecting to care much about it, but this opening really grabbed me and i think about it a lot. when i learned what the character was doing, i stole the book and read it all. i fell in love with ray bradbury quite quickly.
“the early summer sky was the colour of cat vomit.” - uglies by scott westerfeld.
i read the uglies series when i was 12/13 - it was my intro to teen dystopian fiction (this would have been 2014, when that genre was peaking), but it was so immersive and wonderful to me at the time. i think it made me realize what writing could be, and how it could make me feel. i was hooked from the first line; it certainly paints a clear picture in my head and i can distinctly remember it years later.
I've just started reading B. Sanderson's book "Mistborn - The Final Empire". And just look at this awesome, intriguing first sentence: "Sometimes, I worry that I’m not the hero everyone thinks I am."
How is this for an opening?
"Most people grow out of their imaginary friend phase pretty early on in life. Those that don't are diagnosed. Not me."
Intriguing.
@@kylier8599 thanks!!
I like that! I’d continue reading!
@@kassierivers1011 thank you!!
Just found this post. Read your line. I'd keep reading. Here's mine:
"Phat Larry, my boss, has this theory about Twinport, British Columbia: he says it’s the place all the weirdos come to escape the rest of the world."
I went back to read my favourite novel's first chapter, "The Goldfinch" by Donna Tartt, because I thought it was very similar to that of "The Girls". (At least in the concept)
The position of the chapter in the timeline is basically at the end, we learn that Theo, the protagonist, is in Amsterdam(we don't know why) and something has went very wrong (we don't know what but we can guess it has to do with murder).
Now, I believe this is very important because the Goldfinch is a THICC book (800+ pages) and it narrates the life of Theo from adolescence to neo-adulthood, so the reader needs to have questions as soon as possible to not drop the book. So, what the chapter does is changing the reader's questions to the book. It will not be "what is going to happen?", but "How is this going to happen?".
The chapter, and the book at large, obviously provide other elements: the relationship that he has with his dead mother, the inciting incident and the little painting that gives the name to the novel have all been introduced by the first 50 pages, but i really like the first chapter because I believe that it is essential to long books.
It is basically the writer telling you: "Ok, this is point G of the story, see how everything is fucked up? Alright, now let's go back to point A and let's see how things got like this."
It is not the end that matters, but the journey.
I could also make a similar point for "The Name Of The Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss, but in that book it is more about the structutr of the book than the first chapter.
(My apologies if the comment seems a bit clunky, english ain't my language and in here it's 11:00 pm)
"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."
That's (in my honest opinion) one of the best first lines of all time...
Don’t give backstory in the first chapters, hint backstory. As in don’t go into someone’s entire life story about how their parents died and how that makes them feel. Just. Don’t. Stop. That. A line or two of backstory hinting, is all you need. The reader will do the rest.
OH MY GOD! You’re just coming out with everything I NEED!! Thank you girl!
Same thing for me!!
thanks
@Malice Well then heck darn. Maybe I should try non-fiction. Thanks man.
@@wonderlust1308 you probably don't remember but i would love to know what they said 😭 i love your response though
@@xtonibx5770 Oh yeah! XD Some dude said something on the lines of: "You'll never make it as a fictional author. Give up now. You'll never publish fiction..." It was basically that, like that was the basic message but this guy had a short paragraph about it and he might've said something about agencies or publishing houses and chances I'll get chosen - I could be so wrong. But basically, he said the words "you'll never be an author/get your stories published" and "fiction" and "writing is hard" so I took *fiction* from all that and thought I could make a good response. It was so random and out of nowhere. Man really thought he could stop someone from writing with a strange reply in a YT comment section - but it wasn't just me he was doing this to! I like to scroll through comments and I saw him saying the exact same thing to other random people - copy and paste. I really remember all of this because Shaelin posted another writing video and she mentioned a guy sending hate/disrespectful comments to everyone in her comment section and she got him blocked lol I'm pretty sure it was this same guy ha
And thank you, excuse the long response ha
Your tips and ideas are always so good and eye-opening, I've never thought of the first chapter and its parallels with a short story! That was such a useful thought exercise
"Later, it was said the man came from the north, from Ropers Gate." - the first line of Andrzej Sapkowski's short story "The Witcher", which is basically the first one that the reader gets to read.
12:56 Look at the books in the background! 🤣🤣🤣
12:57 lmao books in the back fall over
omg i never noticed that
I have always wanted to start a novel with "Once upon a time." My problem is, I have never written a novel where that line would be appropriate. :)
I read a book where the main character likes fairytales so it could be like
Once upon a time.... something that always lead to a story of true love and happy endings. Trouble is that was never something mc got. No her life was a big......
“Once upon a time, my life was fucked up.” or something along those lines. It doesn’t have to be a fairytale or fantasy or anything of the sort. Words or words and letters and letters. “Once upon a time” could start an action adventure if you wanted. It’s just a manor of going from that to the story.
“Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a girl of nineteen was…”
“Once upon a time, I died…”
You get it.
@@monywrmtailpadfotprngs6985 What ever.
Charles Fetters …?…
“Once upon a time, I managed to get myself killed.”
I stumbled upon your channel as I was planning on writing a novel and omg it has been so helpful and informative! I now have a notebook with notes from so many of your videos and they've helped my writing so much. Thank you for sharing all your knowledge!!
This is so good and helpful. Sometimes all it takes is a great Start and an End that works, to wrap up a Novel.
Shaelin you have been helping me throughout the entire journey of writing this book! You’re tutoring is “stellr” - to quote my own brand lol. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into helping us writers 🙏
Thank you so much for these videos!
I like the idea of the first chapter as a short story. The first scene of my science fiction series is a prologue and readable as a stand alone short story. That was more because I've gone back and forward to including it or not, but I kinda like how it turned out. Well, the potential it has, it's hasn't been edited yet.
I like first lines that have more meaning than what is literary said. My current WIP starts with a statement that's symbolic for one of the big themes of the story and in another I've used the first line to introduce the colorful language of the protagonist.
Your videos are fantastic. I always know I’m going to get a different take (great and intelligent points) and I really appreciate that!
Thanks for this great overview and examples! I’m about to start a short story (while I’m planning the next draft of my novel). So much to think about… I need to just get stuff on paper, do a few passes, and build up the story with these guidelines in mind.
awesome! I added it to my writing secrets and tips playlist.
I am bookmarking this page! So much useful information!
I’m so glad I found your channel the other day!! Such a fan and can wait to finish watching the rest of your videos! Thank you so much for these. Xo
Hi, I've been flirting with your channel on and off for years ;) or your channel with me lol. I just wanna say, great content and this is really really useful and makes me think I should still study creative writing somehow, because I can see/hear how it is benefitting you to have studied in that field. Thanks for sharing with us :)
It's funny how differently we react to things sometimes. That line about "Before my wife became a vegetarian I thought she was completely unremarkable" thing. It made me go off on a rant in my head: "If you think she's THAT unremarkable, why the heck is she your WIFE? How were you ever interested in her at all? How did that happen?" lol. XD The other one with "Name was dead, but they didn't know it yet" was really cool though. :)
Nice video with great info. I know these are edited, but still, the books moving at 12:58 made me backup and replay to verify what I saw. :-)
this is so helpful. thank you!!
12:57 lol the books collapsed in the background
Okay so I know this was kind of touched on? Since that last book you referenced was kind of also referencing this? But "Marley was dead to begin with" from A Christmas Carol is SUCH a good opening line in my opinion.
this tips does very helpfull for me as a comic writer. thanks shaelin
Thank you for giving us examples
This is from legend by Marie lu it really hooks you its My mother thinks I'm dead whenever I read that I feel like I'm reading the book for the first time its amazing!
Good stuff. Thanks
I listen to your tutorial videos. In unison I read Harlan Coben's bestsellers. This is how I learn.
(UK)
You're a student?! Wow! You are amazing.
All your videos are bangers, I don't know how you do it
to give quickly is to give double. I like your videos a lot.
Hey! I'm a writer too! I wish I could come to novel writing class with you. I love to learn about this craft... I think your videos are smart and helpful. I'm not a fan of Meg Letorre, or whatever. Take over!
Hey Shaelin, I recently discovered your channel and I'm really enjoying it. I generally agree with your perspective that we should limit the mundane, but don't you often need some backdrop of normalcy to contrast the inciting incident? That's often going to be in novel opening. Not sure how to avoid it completely. I'm laying mine out in a way where there's a sense of a normal day but with something not quite right. It's just so frustrating sometimes to account for readers having literally no attention span nowadays, lol.
You make the nose ring classy
TLDW? In medias res (into the middle of things) is your friend.
Syrah moaned breathlessly. Her heart beat like a thunderstorm.
Her belley clinched in heat and greed coursed though her burning veins.
Well my newerst opening lines. And I'm still trying to motivate you to edit at least a part of my book even if it is Fantasy. Sorry but part of the theme is women's rights and freedom and I have a feeling you would be a good fit there. Great video by the way. Hugs
When you were talking about Everything I Never Told You and the first line about Lydia being dead it was a little weird because my name is Lydia
In the topic of first lines and openings nothing I have seen has ever beaten the line of "Ash fell from the sky" from mistborn: final empire and other openings from other mistborn books. It does set up the darker tones of worldbuilding as point of interest and has inbuild conflict from the start.
Good intro to that Ali Smith novel.
7:24 Haha, you just described pretty much the exact opposite of Shaun of the Dead :D
Shaelin, would you do a writing video that covers the essential elements of a three act structure as you see it today? I know you have a video on snyder's 15 beats that you used at one point, but I'm wondering if what you see necessary in these three acts has evolved in some way? I love how you used examples of good opening lines here. Maybe you could show some examples that way in the 3 act video, too.
Maybe, but I don't think I have much more to say than what I said in the 15 beat video, since I also covered the three act structure then as well.
My friends and I are writing a book together. How can I convince them to write a less boring beginning? Right now, it's basically the characters' morning routine. After that, though, the first event happens and it jumps right in.
One of the greatest real work of Art `The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle` from Haruki Murakami starts with a scene protagonist cooking pasta. Or many other examples... such as Ishiguro's books or Toni Morrison, Melville, Proust, Henry James, Henry miller, and so on. So I am not quite sure which is which. What would be a good starting point? It is hard to say. I would say it mostly matter who you are as a writer so to be able to claim the story is interesting indeed, even when starting it in a dull way. then the great American writer John Updike says: just start the novel by showing character's normal life. Who is this person lost in the universe? Something like this.
So... how do I kill a character? I believe there was a video about that but I think it's not available anymore.
@@clintcarpentier2424 Yeah, I've had problems with the last part, so I kinda want to know how to do it without losing part of my soul in the process.
Plan to kill them
Kill them
Show how other characters react
Bring them back cuz you love your character too much
@@xisalways-ls8lt I'm not a fan of temporary death.
She killed the video. lol kidding
@@clintcarpentier2424 So true, though.
wow, the short story thing actually helps a lot wtf
Damn.. i love you. You're saving me big time...
Distracted by the books at 12:56 lol📚
Sarah Herron it’s Matthew McConaughey!
Haha if only you'd posted this last week, before I handed in the first chapter of my current novel for workshop 😂 I just started the video, so hopefully I'm not about to get roasted.
"Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time." -Slaughterhouse Five
Your tips are really great. Although you are really so young( honestly you remind me of my niece though she is just 10 and is very cute. She loves to listen to stories and we are slowly pushing her to reading more.). Even though you are so much younger, I am feeling that I am learning things from you and these would help improve what I am trying to write.
I do suggest you take a look at a tool named "twine" though, it is meant for interactive fictions and it can actually help you making story plots and such. I use it often. Maybe, you can also find it to be a new venture of yours.
Keep on sharing your thoughts with us. :)
It's because she's a creative writing student. She's learning from the university, also doing research and read books
She's a full package for writing tips
Do you think you will make a video on the fundamentals of writing a screenplay? I loved your past videos that were about screenplays but if you could do a video on how to tell a story in a script format I think that could be really helpful.
Honestly I don't consider myself a very skilled screenwriter and I have very little experience so I'm not sure if I feel comfortable or qualified giving advice on screenwriting. There is a TON of information out there on screenwriting and a ton of books and resources since it's a form that has a lot of discussion about craft in its community.
@@maliceburgoyne495 Please stop being condescending to strangers in my comment section. Your harsh judgement is rude and unfair. If you do it again I will block you from my channel so that well meaning people don't have to be berated with your entitled criticism that doesn't come from a place to legitimacy at all, but clearly from some kind of superiority complex. I usually avoid replying to you on principle, but if you do it again I will just block you.
The channel "Lessons From the Screenplay" has lots of very inspiring stuff about screenwriting
I know it's obviously a super classic example and 1984 has a lot of problems, but for me nothing will ever match "it was a cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."
Is it bad to start a book with your character being scolded/criticized by their boss if it's not really related to the story but more to create and image?
If I have two main characters how do I introduce them? Especially if they are each other's love interests. One of them is sort of the main main character but do I introduce her first in the first chapter and introduce the other later or in the second chapter?
Maybe the first chapter shows how they cross paths. This also could also work to establish their dynamic
@@theonetruedonut The two know each other already but just barely aside from talking a bit over the years at school and some feisty confrontations. They don't get along at all at first. I want to have them have a fated meeting that sets up the romantic part of the story near the beginning and that influences the entire story.
It's a character driven story that revolves around these two characters and their friends making the major character count around about 5 or 6.
Mine was telling the reader that her life was about to be dreadful, terrible and downright misery, because today was her birthday. It is her birthday but that's not why she will be miserable
7:45 I actually know a webtoon like that. I think it's called "Boyfriend of the Dead" or something. It starts with this girl slaughtering zombies and this one zombie that doesn't go insane like the others, and is a mix of a romance a zombie apocalypse and is really goofy but serious at once
Highly recommended. Anyway, that part of the video made me laugh because of that
I start the first chapter by putting an aspect of my character and/or their world on display. For example, main character is starving. They have X amount of money but the cheapest meal costs Y. The main character buys something for the price of X and resells it for Z dollars. They have more than enough for a meal
This shows that the main character is poor but clever.
(Btw if that example gave you ideas, you have the full right to use it)
Great tip :)
wow. the introduction to Ali Smith's "Winter" is the fucking "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" of recent fiction.
Great video!
I'll have to respectfully disagree with you about Ali Smith's book, though. The book sounds like a painfully long rant! xD
I promise the whole book isn't like that!
It was midnight, and a crowd had gathered around Big Ben awaiting the fireworks. Nearby, Danny Boyle and Alice May walked under the bright city lights towards his house. He'd just finished work as Danny was enjoying the piece of their walk. He tried counting the cracks on the pavement in between the shadows and thought about what he wanted to be. Now Danny doubted he'd ever get there. All his life, he wished to be a writer. But that seemed so hopeless now. After his mother died, Danny couldn't face it. Couldn't face anything except for his father and little sister, Emily. And of course, Alice. Alice, who was bright and reliable and the only other person who had been there for him his whole life. My opening of my SCI-FI Romance. I'm struggling with it because of the readers in my writing group told me it's rushed and I'm not sure what else to say about Danny. Should I write more about Alice or talk more about her in the next chapters? I know what to say about her, but not sure if I should write it in the first chapter.
***
What if the characters PV in the opening scene is a young child?
My book starts with her waking up from a nightmare, and I've seen multiple videos saying that's bad, but it's important for the plot later on. Ofcourse, this'd be useless if my readers never get there. What should I do?
If it's important to the plot and the characters then yes. Sometimes it's okay to break some rules but only if it fits the plot, tone, characterization and overall story. It's your story so you choose
@@akgwriting9481 Thanks!
It was a dark and stormy night.
7:50 Warm Bodies
another great line "'I'm Nizhony Begay, and I could see monsters."
Thank you for clarifying why not to use flashbacks in the beginning - many writers want to start with that. ❤ You explained it well - no one cares yet - because they don't have an attachment to the character yet.
pls after watching this video I opened basically every book in my room and read the first paragraph bahahaha
The story I'm writing starts with an argument between two best friends and by the end of the first chapter one of the friends dies without reconciling with the other.
my novel starts off with a prayer thrown to the winds speaking of the broken world and the terrible people in it, then the person dies. (that’s the outline of the prologue) it’s a novel about a corrupt world and the gods who made it so, and a gang who want to change it… 🤨
How many pages should a first chapter be?
Cow The word count is an average of 5,000 per chapter.
@@jilliandreams ok, mine is nowhere near that, I have three 'chapters' and only like 5,000 words and not to be annoying but what about for a middle grade book? Probably like the same but just if you know.
Can someone tell me if this is a good opening?
On weekdays, every after school, our neighbor Karl would show up in front of our door to ask me why I was still wearing my school uniform when we were supposed to be heading to our place-in the arcade.
Should you open a novel when you don’t have the whole story?
If you want to. I do that. I like not knowing where it’s going completely.
This comment has been supported and sponsored by the pantser squad
Cresent Moo whaat?
Saurav Chaudhary
Pantser. People who don’t plot or do minimal plotting before they start writing, coming up with the story as they go along never knowing where it will take them.
Is your last name Bishop? And, why can't I find the books you have written? Not on Amazon.
I don't have any published books, that's why you can't find them! I have a number of published short stories (which are in the linktree in my social media bios) and am currently pursuing publishing a book, but it's a long process!
Surprised that I didn’t see the opening of the way of kings.
She woke, brushed her teeth, ate breakfast (realised she had done this in the wrong order, yet again), brushed her teeth, and left for work.
I killed my first prologue because of @6:45. The prologue was nasty horror, with a demon, child sacrifice, and cannibalism. Yet my story is supposed to be paranormal romance. Yeah, bad things happen here and there in the story, but mostly it's about the hero attempting to communicate with the heroine, and recruit her help in destroying the villain. I spun the prologue into a flashback and plopped it down in the center of the story.
My second shot at a prologue also failed, but for a reason not given in Shaelin's video. It showed my villain before he became a villain. It showed him hurting emotionally, and desperate for an answer. Problem is, readers are like baby birds and latch onto the first sympathetic character they see as their protagonist. When they see the villain in chapter 2 he is a raging predator, not some guy who is hurting. Can't be the same guy, can it? Maybe it's that guy (the hero) they met in chapter 1. I dropped that prologue and solved the problem it solved in a different way.
Her " flirt with the reader"
Me : is starting on witnessing an execution flirring tho
"A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?"
Everyone here who doesnt have a novel idea yet : “OMGosh, I’m so going to base my book on the character waking up and brushing their teeth in a dystopian world!!!”
I totally want to read the romance novel which starts with the love interest talking disgustingly cute lovey-dovey talk over the phone while they are slaughtering a whole room full of zombies.
Good to see you're doing well with the channel because you have no future doing audiobook narration lol jk But that reading at 15:00? Ugh. Late for something? ;)
Shut it
half way through watching the video you get an add of shaelin promoting reedsy for free writing quotes🤣
is it cliche if a character's saliva almost drip from his mouth because he has been sleeping like forever in the middle of the priest's gospel?? this is not the same as the character waking up in the morning thing, right?
i don't know if you look at requests, but could you possibly make a video talking about how to write mental illness in novels properly? mental health is something i'm passionate about, but i have a deep fear that i may romanticize it, or make it too poetic. i don't know if this is something you have experience in, but i would love to see a video on how to avoid romanticizing mental illness (and other things related) in writing. thanks!
My first question would be if this is something you have personal experience with or not? If so, use your experiences as a guide. If not, stay away from Hollywood representations, spend some time reading forums ran by and for people with mental illness, addiction forums are another good resource because of how hand in hand the two exist. Don't be afraid of painting the 'good' in a favorable light, as long as the negative is handled carefully and honestly. My second question is whether it's integral to the story or not? All people are screwed up, mental illness denotes a pattern that is inescapable without external help, and sometimes at all. Imagine a household with a mother who's rapid cycling bipolar 1 (rapid refers to day-to-day changes, which is fairly rare, it's more common for week-to-week changes within a relatively rare category of bipolar) and there are a few kids under her care. Depending on whose perspective you're writing from, you could write about the thrill the mother feels going to bars seeking the attention of men other than her husband when she's manic while forgetting that she's left her children in the car to take care of themselves, how dependent she becomes on that attention for any self-worth that she's willing to bribe her children to keep her secrets and lie to everyone in her life. While she's depressive, the guilt eats at her, she wants to atone but doing so means admitting her crimes against the family, and quickly the guilt of everything bad she's done in her life is all she can focus in on like a laser and it's so crippling that she can't get out of bed or eat for days. In the first few days of her next manic episode, she's the image of wifely 'perfection' in her mind, cleaning, cooking, showering her husband with affection, and as soon as he's had a bad day and says something cross towards her, she's preparing to sneak out. But to leave her kids at home while their father is at work or asleep means abandoning her duties as a mother, so she wakes them all up and hurries them into the car to drive off to the bar, starting the cycle all over again. The children's perspective would be quite different in this example, the 'good' comes from all of the unexpected days of being pulled out of school for road trips, a wanted toy being given as a bribe and the child's mind not being able to grasp that having fun with that toy will give them guilt later, or perhaps simply the promise of new toys, dresses, etc., are used as bribes and a rage develops over each broken promise. They develop their own neuroses as defense mechanisms against her, and their mother's violent outbursts are old hat, even if they're scary at that moment. Sitting in a car for hours with only a parking lot light to illuminate the world conjures demons in the shadows that give them an unhealthy paranoia for some and drives the others to want to explore that darkness themselves. Some of the siblings will develop a near-unbreakable bond caring for each other, while the others will want nothing to do with the rest, even to the point of ignoring them while they are crying over a skinned knee or broken bone from a fall. Every little reminder of them is really just a reminder of their mother, they become cold and distant, setting up their own patterns later in life. The day-to-day life of the children will always be a guessing game to which mother they'll see at home after school, regardless of how they relate to their siblings, even the oldest will have that moment of apprehension opening the door. Perhaps the children are all grown now, and dealing with their mother is done through episodes with their therapist or not at all, stuffing the memories down until it becomes harmful to themselves. They catch themselves doing something she did, and it drives a different kind of paranoia that they're becoming just like her, the cold and distant ones are haunted the most by this, believing they're finally free of their whole family until past becomes prologue.
I hope this gives you some ideas on how to handle it from different perspectives. The biggest thing to remember in my opinion is the cycles, they repeat in everyday life as often as they repeat generationally for certain illnesses. Anyone can suffer from clinical depression or anxiety given the right triggering event(s), but others are shown through the research to have strong ties to genetics and others, so know which mental illnesses you're giving your characters and learn everything you can about those particular diagnoses, the DSM and ICD are invaluable in pinning down specifics. Best wishes!
@@LillyAlara thank you so much!!! you're honestly a saint for typing that all out
@@Sx--F Hehe, no problem, I was worried I'd gone on a rant and just sort of ended in the middle of my thoughts. There are a ton of clinical resources if you know where you're looking, but sometimes the best place to start is the library if you already know the diagnoses and want really in-depth books on their particulars. Otherwise, thinking backward towards a diagnosis is the way to go, what's happened, how are they acting, etc. and then use the DSM and/or ICD to find something that fits.
@@LillyAlara thank you! my problem is i have experience, but i don't exactly know how to translate it well, along with some other things but you answered them all relaly well! have a lovely day
@@Sx--F You too! The trick I think is blending it with other situations, and the pov changes a lot of how you approach it. If you want to talk specifics at all, let me know, otherwise best of luck!
Opening is how the writer flirts with the reader
Tfw you're bad at flirting