"Your twenties aren't for finding your feet, they're for figuring out how to survive not being able to." Damn, that's profound. I never had the words to express that before.
Easy to say when you've haven't spent time bipolar and homeless despite your best efforts otherwise. When you've escaped an abuser but not the abuse. If you're in a bad situation, kids...it gets better. It really does. You deserve and are capable of receiving love, care and acceptance, from others and yourself. You CAN do this, even if you're sure this world will kill you.
I liked the fact that, instead of listing the movies from 20º to 01º place, you build a narrative about your live in your 20s and a relationship between the movies themes themselves and your live, with no particular order. Your filmaking classes really paied off.
George Campbell I once saw a guy on Facebook post a big status about how cabin in the woods sucks because it isn’t very scary and I’ve honestly never been so pissed off at someone’s misinterpretation of any piece of media in my life
This spoke to me so much! I came out of college at the same time as a qualified elementary school teacher. No full time work. I now make animated educational videos!
I graduated with the same major during that recession too. Animated educational videos sound awesome. I just subscribed to you & am looking forward to your videos!
I just turned 25 earlier this month and honestly this EVERYTHING speaks so strongly to where I am currently at in my own journey. I mean I am a 25 year old gay drag queen living in a struggling city trying to make drag happen while taking any gig and any job handed to me. And I definitely see film as something that has tracked my own journey. Films have lead to me becoming better at expressing my emotions to those around me and are a huge component of my drag and how my character was first inspired and is continued to be inspired visually and thematically.
I am almost 35 and I will continue to wear graphic tees. The way I see it, after all the stuff I endured during my childhood, teens, and twenties, I've earned this sign of perpetually indulging what is left of my innocence. #NoShame
Strangely enough, that very statement should comprise your next graphic T-shirt. Yes, of course it´s too textual, too intellectual, and too long. The fact that anyone who passes the test of wanting to read it in full, has to get close enough to potentially be a conversational partner.
Thank you. I was crying because I dont't find a job and I'm fucking broke. I saw your video while I was still crying. It made me feel better I'm not alone. Also, I have a list of movies I enjoy in my crisis.
Please, put subtitles in your videos. Allow the public to put it or something. A lot of not-native english speakers like myself will benefit. I missed some parts of your speech (bad hearing) and I really hate this. Learning so much with you... subtitles, please, please, please. I can translate if I just can understand all of what you say. Pleaseeeeee, I beg you. I don't even mind that I'm losing all the jokes.
I turn 20 in three months and I’ve been panicking because I’m not doing anything with my life. This video legit gives me hope and gives me a bunch of movies i can binge when ever I’m feeling down.
I turn 20 in a week and a half and I've been putting off an getting internship or another job or applying to the four year institution I'd planned to go to or starting that third unfinished novel that would probably kill me, consistently and unassailably aware that time is running out and the next few months will be full of thousands of other people as wrecked as I am doing exactly that and I've had so much time and fucked up so bad already, so you'd think I'd be good at having my shit essentially together. I have no idea why. Neither the behavior that causes the emotion, nor the emotional response to the behavior, makes any sense to me. If I was fully in control of myself, I think (?) I would have done something by now. Or...maybe I wouldn't because it wouldn't matter? I can't say.
I just turned 19. I feel pretty stuck atm, but Gattaca, as he mentioned -- is a fantastic movie. Very inspiring. Any time I want to write, or get myself pumped I throw it on. Very underappreciated movie.
Don't fuck off man. I'm 22 going on 23 and regret not atleast going to college or the military, I've had a lot of adventures but haven't done anything to really bring stability to my life.sure we're young af and have many mistakes to learn from but why wait and waste time.if you don't want to go to college or military there's always high paying over seas contractor jobs from dish washer to gun totin security and everything in between. Expand your mind and build a strong body be a Man
I was not surprised actually. I feel like his analysis is not simplistic enough for him to be in his mid-twenties. It tends to turn out like this way that when I admire someone's insight, they turn out to be at least my age. So I would have to disagree that he could pass for someone in mid-twenties. At least not when he opens his mouth and words come out. I know that the comment is meant as just judging by the appearance, but I never understood why that's a thing people do.
I genuinely never know what to expect when a Cold Crash notification pops up, but the uploads are always an absolute treat. I've got to agree with your summary - don't over analyse your life, while comparing it to others - it's yours & no one else's. And screen printed t-shirts are always age appropriate.
Any Nine Inch Nails fans here? Because rewatching this again, your last pick as you talk about Before Sunset reminds me of this though process I always have, which is that I'll see someone like Trent Reznor in his 50s and remember that he thought he'd never make it out of his 20s. He beat his addiction and surely has a million more responsibilities now than he ever did when he was younger (family, career--both with a struggling music industry and his work as a film composer), not to mention any lingering aftereffects (mental or physical) from years of drug abuse. But he's still making music. Still has loyal fans. And he's said it himself that he's happier now than he ever was before. So maybe I won't be able to deadlift twice my body weight when I'm fifty (not that I can do that now as of this writing. But. It's an attainable goal :P). I know whatever I went through will make me better prepared for whatever comes next.
I love Nine Inch Nails! I kinda came to him after he was already getting out of his depression. To read about the things he was going through in his 20s and 30s breaks my heart.
Gattaca is one of my all time favorite movies. It's perfectly sad, and inspiring at the same time. "I never saved anything for the swim back." is one of my favorite lines from anything I've ever read, or heard.
THANK YOU for this honest, and as always intelligent and highly entertaining video! I've never seen somebody suming up what it's like to be in your twenties more accurately (I'm 31 and although I'm german the experience seems to be somewhat similar). I love this video, I love your work and I'm crossing my fingers that in our forties, we'll be looking back on our thirties and relish in all the things we'll have achieved by then with the help of what we had to learn in our twenties! ;)
I just turned 30 last month. I feel like I dug into rock bottom. You may never see this but I deeply deeply needed to see this. I have a love affair with causality..
Yeah, I like to collectively call my early 20s as my "quarter-life crisis". I was done with high school, going to community college, but had tons of passions and yet no drive to completely devote time into them (for example, I love weather and climate, but the math aspect kept me from pursuing further). Eventually I settled on a strong fascination for psychology (and still do), but the current state of higher education costs dampens that at the moment. I knew who I was, but I didn't know what I wanted to do. What I thought I knew, I truly didn't. I felt very lost. Thankfully I live with my parents, but it was and is still hard to be okay with that at times because I feel like I'm going against the grain of what's expected (you turn 18, your expected to move out from your parents, leave the nest sorta thing). Two years ago, I got the opportunity to work with horses and on a farm, and I finally realized I was happiest being outside, working hard on things like repairing a fence to keep the horses safe, or mowing the lawn, or learning new skills I could use around home so that I could contribute more to helping my folks since they are getting older. While I don't work at that farm anymore, I am currently helping out an elderly couple with doing yardwork and the like around their home. And I love it. I'm only 27, so not out of my 20s truly, but it's good to know I'm not alone in what I went through. Nobody prepares you for this existential crisis at such a young age; I've only ever heard of mid-life crises, but I think the time between graduating high school and living a comfortable adult life is a crisis of its own.
“Your twenties aren’t about finding your feet, they’re for figuring out how to survive not being able to,” honestly is the shit I desperately needed to hear right now. I’m in my mid twenties (closer to the back nine,) my mom recently passed, and I’m currently in between jobs in the midst of this pandemic. I’ve just felt like I’ve been flailing in comparison to my peers who seem to have it all figured out. This reminds me that it’s all just a lesson and will prepare me for any future turbulence.
Laughed out loud a whole "I'm editing" section, "Oh I wish" and "ok, where are we in the timeline". I read in an interview an 80s UK pop star was dreading her 30s but her friends told her it was much better than her 20s. It's also been my experience too. Enjoy.
I’m turning 24 soon and I feel like my life is slipping away. I feel like I should be doing more than I am now, this video has been so helpful. I’m glad I found this channel
What I find most interesting about this essay is that you think it´s over after merely five minutes, when you realize, 20 minutes and 20 movies have already passed. Quite like life itself, actually. My biggest fear when I was younger was to become complacent - I didn't. I wanted to become successful, because I thought it would make me happy - it didn't. Only after I learned how to be happy, I started becoming successful. Also: "Wear Sunscreen!" (Baz Luhrman) P.S.: I´d love to hear your take on "Sucker Punch" P.P.S.: I like your list, and I´ll make sure to watch the six films, that weren't on mine!
I almost lost my sanity and relationships by being so insecure and wondering if I shouldn't be doing more in life. It made project these insecurities onto the people around me and blame them for my unhappiness. I'm 25 now and sorta got my shit together but this social pressure on young twenty-year-olds to be doing or being X and Y by 23-24 still scares me shitless. Thank you so much for doing this video.
So I found your channel randomly through youtube surfing during a boring work day. By my math, I'm about a year and a half older than you and an adoring filmmaker myself. I went through a nervous breakdown at 25 because that was when Spielberg made Jaws and Tarantino made Reservoir Dogs. And I haven't made even a short film in 10 years. This inspired me though. Seeing that I'm not the only one drowning in a job I was forced to settle for, wishing so much to make movies like I always wanted to. I know I can do it, I just need to take that leap of faith.
Honestly, I almost prefer this version of a "draw my life". This is more entertaining and fits in with your channel. Also, when you got the job in Chicago, my boyfriend was in a very similar position just two weeks ago with his remote job during Covid. Basically the mananger was a bitch to him, didnt like him, would constantly cause him to be stressed and depressed, and fired him two weeks ago for no reason. Im still on unemployment but getting a job soon. I love being at home a lot, but it'll be nice making more than 800/month.
Birdcage is a love letter to love, every beautiful, painful piece of it. It's quite a strange thing, I'm gonna be 32 in a couple days and I have taken the decision to not celebrate it, specifically because I hate hypocrisy and most of the people around me do not make me feel good, worthy or loved. My best friend stopped talking to me cause of transitioning, my 2nd best friend passed away a year ago, my only remaining best friend, who sometimes feels more than a friend like a part of me, is thousand miles away in a country that's filled with death, corruption and issues (more than other countries but not too much but still I worry endlessly). I sometimes feel like my 20's were better, between 21 and 27 I was happy and loved and filled with dreams. Before that I was a blob of self-harm, self-doubt and stress, after, I became a derailed train with nothing secured except the fact that I was, I am, a transgender male. I usually measure my life with music and books, but maybe I should add movies. Maybe this comment is going nowhere, but I have to mention that while things seem a lot darker and cruel right now, I think I have never being stronger, because when I was 15 I let myself fall with only a breeze, now? I have the strength to say goodbye to the most toxic relationship I have ever had, with my twin sister. I wouldn't have been able to do it when I was 11 or 15 or even at 26 when I had so many friends to relay on. It's only now with so many things going on that I finally took the decision and went beyond just saying it and actually did it. I'm not sure if it was the right choice in the long run but right now I feel like I can breath easier.
Isn't it kinda unkind to classify "unconditional love" as something cheap and meaningless? It is hard to love unconditionally, and it can come at great cost. I found your thoughts on this to be sad and limiting.
Thank you so much for this vid it’s great. I’m going through some similar shit that you went through after you graduated so I’m going to watch these movies and try not to die!
I'm still very young (22) but I remember that ever since I turned 19 I started to repeat to myself that I didn't need to rush things and to go at my own pace, and I know I'll be turning 28 and be panicky that I should be doing more with my life, but so far what's helped me the most is that with creative careers you get to put something out there that someone might draw some comfort from
"circumstantial depression" my life for 3 years looking for a job after graduating uni. also everyone IS where they are because of pure luck. i was extremely lucky to know a person and now i am finally employed.
ps. my therapist seriously said to me that "anyone would be depressed if the things that have happened to you had happened to them" and another one stopped seeing me, because my depression was "only circumstantial" :D:D:D::D:D
Thank you. That part of the video messed me up. I get what he's saying about wanting love to be substantive and unique, demanding responsibility and conscientious effort.. but I think you can have a relationship like that, that's also unconditional.
“Unconditional love” is basically “believe that I love you no matter how bad I treat you coz you’re too messed up for other people to love you anyway.”
Other than Endgame, for yearly catharsis sake (I love you 3000...that still gets me as a dad). I have to say GotG Vol. 2 is the Marvel movie that has most personally touched me. Because I felt it. The first time I saw it I was holding my week-old daughter in my arms downstairs as my wife slept upstairs with the volume down...and watching the ending hit me MUCH harder than I thought it would. I mean...I was choking back tears. Also, using "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens...when Peter and Groot are hanging out...jeez. It had me looking down at this tiny little one in my hands, sleeping soundly...it was a powerful moment. Not as much as welcoming her together with my wife, but there was just an unbelievable feeling to it.
We watched Gattaca in Biology during High School. I was about the only kid who got or enjoyed it, having seen it before. Was so fun to see our strung ip teacher nerd out over a film.
Dude. That bit about unconditional love. I've long believed there's a difference between 'family' and 'relatives', and that blood doesn't mean much. But the idea that unconditional love is less, that was an eye opener. I know that wasn't specifically meant for or directed at me, but Thank You.
This was such a gem. I too turned 30 this year and I’ve been struggling with letting go of my 20’s because I felt it was apart of my identity. This video encouraged me to look back and shift my perspective on things. Thanks!
Can't hear what you're saying cause I'm too busy jamming to Ingrid Michaelson, whom you didn't mention in the description. Tisk tisk. Anyway, songs with lyrics in the background while you are also talking is a bad idea, as much as I love the song.
If you’re cool with turning 30 (I wasn’t. I was in full panic mode.) You’re going to love your 40’s. It really wasn’t until I turned 40 that I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. I knew exactly who I was, what was truly important in life, and most importantly, I was able recognize bullshit and confidently able to turn my back on it. I can now look back on things that caused great anxiety and depression and realize that none of that mattered. Shortly after turning 42 I realized that staying in a job I hated just because it paid well was the true source of unhappiness. I quit my job, moved back to my hometown and started working for a nonprofit that finds housing for the homeless with mental health disabilities. It doesn’t pay well, but seeing how I’ve contributed to making a marginalized community safer and most importantly, heard, is worth more than the large paychecks I received at my corporate job. I’m actually excited for my 50’s just to see how much growth I will experience. Even in respect to my 40’s.
An extraordinarily beautiful rumination. Thanks for sharing. If you're still hanging around Chicago when you read this, let's have a drink sometime and discuss art, life, love, Chicago, being a cancer survivor (me), being a video essayist (you) and why Charles Foster Kane haunts me. PS. The 30s are awesome. :)
Re: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 & unconditional love - maybe you haven't lived long enough to understand the value of unconditional love. Imagine your life without it. A movie that got me through my 20's was "The Graduate." I understand the movie - and Benjamin - a lot better now that I'm in my 40's. Good luck in your 30's - in many (most?) ways, it's a lot better, more fun and more satisfying decade.
Mid twenties, job hunting, struggling with non-STEM-field grad school in the midst of, y’know *gestures at 2020*, this video is maybe the most comforting thing anyone has told me. Thanks
Your take on what love is (during The Birdcage sequence) makes me think a few things: 1) you clearly haven't met the right person, yet, which is OK - I didn't meet my wife until I was nearly 32; 2) it's difficult to have a proper perspective on what love is when you haven't really known it, or met the Real Thing, yet; 3) you don't really learn about love from the movies - much of what the movies and television and songs tell you about love is filled with a lot of lies...until you've met the right person, and then the full meaning of what they say comes to the surface. As often as they try to do so, it's hard to convey actual love in those mediums. I knew absolutely NOTHING about love until I met my wife. Love is an every day thing. It's becoming best friends. It's about both parties surrendering of their selves to the relationship. What I find most interesting about your take on love is the variety of definitions you've given love. There is often a huge difference between Love and one's "love life." So many people's "love lives" are in disrepair. People who have been married for decades have love lives that are totally dysfunctional. But that's not Love. There can be "loss" in love, but so much is gained when you finally experience it. By calling love "dependency," you've created an oxymoron. One does not equal the other. Love is more a mutual co-existence. It's based on trust. When you say, "Love is compromise," you say it like it's something beneath you. Artists strive not to compromise in their work, and that's a good thing. You can't be in a functional relationship without a little compromise - both parties have to feel like they are safe in having a say in their relationship. Both parties need to be active or resentment might build up. Most of the things that happen in a relationship involve compromise - most of the things that happen in a relationship aren't worth arguing over. No one person in the relationship can have control over the other. When one does, it's by definition, not love. It's a relationship in which one person controls the other for their own purposes. I'd be interested to know what your future self would tell your newly-turned 30 year old self about love.
You know how much older you are getting when people so much younger than you complain how much older they're getting... I just turned 60 and I have found a life-long fountain of youth; my love of Mozart.
Don't remember whom I heard this from, but fiction is how we practice experiencing the emotions we fear in real life. Like, I would NOT want to be in an apocalypse, but I can practice the emotions that apocalypses evoke (loneliness, survival, death) without having to experience it irl.
Thank you so much for openly discussing the reality of dreams and perceived success. It occurred to me recently that there is virtually no piece of media that has tackled the big, looming question that haunts so many people, myself included: What happens if my dreams don’t work out? What then? I don’t think I’m quite there yet, and I’ll keep working for it until I can’t anymore, but it’s comforting to know that, even if I technically fail, I can move on without giving up everything. Thank you.
I just got here, so I get that it's been a couple of years since you started your 30's. I don't know how you feel so far, but I'm about halfway through, and I'm more at peace than I've ever been. I know how to properly care for myself in the long term, I know how to cope with my problems, and I'm good at cultivating rewarding friendships now. These are skills I lacked through most of my 20's. People talk a lot of crap about getting older, but the puffy knees and occasional hearing issue is a pretty sweet trade off for the constant roaring chaos of my 20's. I hope you're having a good time so far!
Currently 26, about to turn 27, married but still not able to live with my wife after 4 years of being long distance because I'm stationed in overseas. Life is up in the air and we can't plan for anything because we don't know what the future is going to bring. So we are just out here floating, holding on to whatever is keeping us going. I have no doubt that I'll eventually land on my feet, but who knows how long that's gonna take. As a person who is currently having his world turned upside down, this video resonated so hard. Between this, and the Gone With the Wind two parter (which was fucking phenomenal btw), I sincerely wish I could shake your hand. Thanks for the work you're doing.
I know it's been three years but I've just got to thank you for this video. The first time I saw it was three years ago when you'd just published it. I'd just dropped out of grad school and moved several states away to find a job only to find myself living off my savings during months of unemployment as I continued to go on interview after interview only to be told that I didn't have enough experience. Since then, things have really picked up (state of the world not withstanding). I was feeling like a miserable failure when you published this video and it really helped me get through a lot of stuff so thanks.
Very true that the problems get bigger but so does your ability to face them head on. I turned 30 this year and incidentally attended UChicago (class of 2012); suffice it to say my path deviated significantly from what my plans were.
I mean, im not in my 20s, im 15, but if I had to pick a couple films that have helped me they would be Lady Bird, Booksmart and Eight Grade. All female led coming of age films but im female and im coming of age, of course im going to connect to them
I am past sixty and have always been a serious movie buff all my life. Always wondered how movies have been so crucial to me and how some movies have so profoundly influenced my life, helped me to live and go ahead. From Easy Rider to Taxi Driver, from Bergman to Kurosawa, from Godard to Antonioni, from Blade Runner to Stalker, not to mention countless Indian films from my own land most wouldn’t know, I have lived through, in spite and because of those. I am impressed by the narrative you’ve created around movies in your life. I am so gratified to see young ones like you living lives the way I so intensely experienced. Good wishes and good luck to you for the rest of your life.
Hm... this video makes me appreciate my mundane job and be okay with not climbing up to some top that most likely cant even be reached. That I got a nice enough job that doesn't abuse the tar out of me, and we're all pretty chill despite it being bad at times and that I still live with my parents than doing this usual bullshit of "move out immediately, get a family, get nice 9-5 that doesn't actually exist" to dig that hole that many families around me are in. This made me feel alright about myself.
That... pardon my French, but f*ck me, for at least a short while this will have helped, or at least resonated with me. I am precisely in the situation you described, trying to get paid job in the film industry (not happening), with existential anxiety as well as the fears indeed that I will not be able to figure out what I want and /or achieve it if what Ithink I want is in fact what will improve my chances of being happy on a temporary basis. I suppose a difference is that while I have never had problems working hard, though for some reason I keep convincing myself I don't and can't, after I do depression still eats me up and prevents me from doing anything else. And though I have never been in love, or in a relationship for that matter, or precisely because of it I appreciate so much what you said about romantic relationships. Also, sharks are one of my biggest fears past the existential ones, so I relate with that too.
I was brought up in a broken family and I had to deal with all sorts of violence. Both physical and verbal abuse. what helped me survive my teen years was One tree hill. It made me feel hope, inspired to be creative and I learned more about how to be an ethical, inclusive human being with good values. Im pretty sure OTH saved me and helped me in my personal growth. 😊
Maybe it’s just me but I completely hate the ending of Brooklyn. I love almost all of the film but honestly Jim is so much better suited to Eilish. Tony pressures her into marrying him and doesn’t understand the culture she’s from. Literally it’s just that one old woman who’s a total bitch who makes her change her mind and it’s such an irrational choice to me.
I'm in my mid-twenties and just completed school, only to be faced with the horrors of the corona pandemic and economic fallout...so I feel that 2008 recession pain. this video has definitely made me feel much more optimistic than older people telling me that post graduation struggles aren't unique to my generation and to get over it.
This video is really... I don't know, helpful seems like such a small word. But I've only got about a month left before I turn 30, and I am just really glad that I decided to watch this video today. You put into words stuff that I've been struggling to wrap my mind around. Thank you.
I'm 37. I can't wait to get to be 40, your BS radar grows so strong and your guts grow as well so in my 40s I think that I will finally be able to not take any crap.
"Your twenties aren't for finding your feet, they're for figuring out how to survive not being able to." Damn, that's profound. I never had the words to express that before.
Alison Watkinson this is beautiful
Life doesn't get better, you get better... Don't know who said it but it's true
I had to figure that one out on my own
It's a nice sentiment but it's not always true
Unless your name is Adolf Hitler lol
Easy to say when you've haven't spent time bipolar and homeless despite your best efforts otherwise. When you've escaped an abuser but not the abuse.
If you're in a bad situation, kids...it gets better. It really does. You deserve and are capable of receiving love, care and acceptance, from others and yourself. You CAN do this, even if you're sure this world will kill you.
Damn, I've never heard this but it's great.
I liked the fact that, instead of listing the movies from 20º to 01º place, you build a narrative about your live in your 20s and a relationship between the movies themes themselves and your live, with no particular order.
Your filmaking classes really paied off.
I swear nobody appreciates cabin in the woods enough. It's probably the only film I've literally forced my friends to sit down and watch...
Well. Atleast my sisters and I enjoyed the shit out of it.
yep. they've sit through it and then said "well, that was a crap" ... :'(
i still need to sit down and watch it.
George Campbell I once saw a guy on Facebook post a big status about how cabin in the woods sucks because it isn’t very scary and I’ve honestly never been so pissed off at someone’s misinterpretation of any piece of media in my life
Whats its true meaning tho?
This spoke to me so much! I came out of college at the same time as a qualified elementary school teacher. No full time work. I now make animated educational videos!
I graduated with the same major during that recession too. Animated educational videos sound awesome. I just subscribed to you & am looking forward to your videos!
I just turned 25 earlier this month and honestly this EVERYTHING speaks so strongly to where I am currently at in my own journey. I mean I am a 25 year old gay drag queen living in a struggling city trying to make drag happen while taking any gig and any job handed to me. And I definitely see film as something that has tracked my own journey. Films have lead to me becoming better at expressing my emotions to those around me and are a huge component of my drag and how my character was first inspired and is continued to be inspired visually and thematically.
this was such a lovely sentiment. I needed this, and I'll def be watching the movies you listed.
I am almost 35 and I will continue to wear graphic tees. The way I see it, after all the stuff I endured during my childhood, teens, and twenties, I've earned this sign of perpetually indulging what is left of my innocence. #NoShame
my feeling about gaming & having long hair
Just turned 40...feel the EXACT same way 😁
Strangely enough, that very statement should comprise your next graphic T-shirt.
Yes, of course it´s too textual, too intellectual, and too long. The fact that anyone who passes the test of wanting to read it in full, has to get close enough to potentially be a conversational partner.
Thank you. I was crying because I dont't find a job and I'm fucking broke. I saw your video while I was still crying. It made me feel better I'm not alone. Also, I have a list of movies I enjoy in my crisis.
Thanks for saying so. It really means a lot that this video might help someone. Hope you do well.
Just find a bf
And make him marry you
@@awaaahe wtf
@Kiki Vivanco Same. But I have people I love near me and I wish you the same. Hugs.
Please, put subtitles in your videos. Allow the public to put it or something. A lot of not-native english speakers like myself will benefit. I missed some parts of your speech (bad hearing) and I really hate this. Learning so much with you... subtitles, please, please, please. I can translate if I just can understand all of what you say.
Pleaseeeeee, I beg you. I don't even mind that I'm losing all the jokes.
There are automatically produced subtitles on every vid on TH-cam.
PenguinWithAGuitar it’s not always accurate tho
@@PenguinWithAGuitar yeah they are bullsheit
agreed. I'm hard of hearing and need subtitles.
@@bifurioussiren He made it! It's in this video! You have to activate clicking in the first symbol the right side of the screen.
I turn 20 in three months and I’ve been panicking because I’m not doing anything with my life. This video legit gives me hope and gives me a bunch of movies i can binge when ever I’m feeling down.
I turn 20 in a week and a half and I've been putting off an getting internship or another job or applying to the four year institution I'd planned to go to or starting that third unfinished novel that would probably kill me, consistently and unassailably aware that time is running out and the next few months will be full of thousands of other people as wrecked as I am doing exactly that and I've had so much time and fucked up so bad already, so you'd think I'd be good at having my shit essentially together.
I have no idea why. Neither the behavior that causes the emotion, nor the emotional response to the behavior, makes any sense to me. If I was fully in control of myself, I think (?) I would have done something by now. Or...maybe I wouldn't because it wouldn't matter? I can't say.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one feeling this way at 21
I just turned 19. I feel pretty stuck atm, but Gattaca, as he mentioned -- is a fantastic movie. Very inspiring. Any time I want to write, or get myself pumped I throw it on. Very underappreciated movie.
Don't fuck off man. I'm 22 going on 23 and regret not atleast going to college or the military, I've had a lot of adventures but haven't done anything to really bring stability to my life.sure we're young af and have many mistakes to learn from but why wait and waste time.if you don't want to go to college or military there's always high paying over seas contractor jobs from dish washer to gun totin security and everything in between. Expand your mind and build a strong body be a Man
I'm 22 and idk what I'm doing lmao
You're thirty? You could pass as early/ mid twenties
I was not surprised actually. I feel like his analysis is not simplistic enough for him to be in his mid-twenties. It tends to turn out like this way that when I admire someone's insight, they turn out to be at least my age. So I would have to disagree that he could pass for someone in mid-twenties. At least not when he opens his mouth and words come out. I know that the comment is meant as just judging by the appearance, but I never understood why that's a thing people do.
Might not go in the sun lol
I genuinely never know what to expect when a Cold Crash notification pops up, but the uploads are always an absolute treat.
I've got to agree with your summary - don't over analyse your life, while comparing it to others - it's yours & no one else's.
And screen printed t-shirts are always age appropriate.
Ian Macfarlane I’m googling where to buy the shirt, rn. 1809 MST 15FEB19.
Any Nine Inch Nails fans here?
Because rewatching this again, your last pick as you talk about Before Sunset reminds me of this though process I always have, which is that I'll see someone like Trent Reznor in his 50s and remember that he thought he'd never make it out of his 20s. He beat his addiction and surely has a million more responsibilities now than he ever did when he was younger (family, career--both with a struggling music industry and his work as a film composer), not to mention any lingering aftereffects (mental or physical) from years of drug abuse.
But he's still making music. Still has loyal fans. And he's said it himself that he's happier now than he ever was before.
So maybe I won't be able to deadlift twice my body weight when I'm fifty (not that I can do that now as of this writing. But. It's an attainable goal :P). I know whatever I went through will make me better prepared for whatever comes next.
I love Nine Inch Nails! I kinda came to him after he was already getting out of his depression. To read about the things he was going through in his 20s and 30s breaks my heart.
Dude you're so cool! Thanks for your videos :)
Gattaca is one of my all time favorite movies. It's perfectly sad, and inspiring at the same time. "I never saved anything for the swim back." is one of my favorite lines from anything I've ever read, or heard.
THANK YOU for this honest, and as always intelligent and highly entertaining video! I've never seen somebody suming up what it's like to be in your twenties more accurately (I'm 31 and although I'm german the experience seems to be somewhat similar). I love this video, I love your work and I'm crossing my fingers that in our forties, we'll be looking back on our thirties and relish in all the things we'll have achieved by then with the help of what we had to learn in our twenties! ;)
I just turned 30 last month. I feel like I dug into rock bottom. You may never see this but I deeply deeply needed to see this. I have a love affair with causality..
Yeah, I like to collectively call my early 20s as my "quarter-life crisis". I was done with high school, going to community college, but had tons of passions and yet no drive to completely devote time into them (for example, I love weather and climate, but the math aspect kept me from pursuing further). Eventually I settled on a strong fascination for psychology (and still do), but the current state of higher education costs dampens that at the moment.
I knew who I was, but I didn't know what I wanted to do. What I thought I knew, I truly didn't. I felt very lost. Thankfully I live with my parents, but it was and is still hard to be okay with that at times because I feel like I'm going against the grain of what's expected (you turn 18, your expected to move out from your parents, leave the nest sorta thing).
Two years ago, I got the opportunity to work with horses and on a farm, and I finally realized I was happiest being outside, working hard on things like repairing a fence to keep the horses safe, or mowing the lawn, or learning new skills I could use around home so that I could contribute more to helping my folks since they are getting older.
While I don't work at that farm anymore, I am currently helping out an elderly couple with doing yardwork and the like around their home. And I love it.
I'm only 27, so not out of my 20s truly, but it's good to know I'm not alone in what I went through. Nobody prepares you for this existential crisis at such a young age; I've only ever heard of mid-life crises, but I think the time between graduating high school and living a comfortable adult life is a crisis of its own.
“Your twenties aren’t about finding your feet, they’re for figuring out how to survive not being able to,” honestly is the shit I desperately needed to hear right now. I’m in my mid twenties (closer to the back nine,) my mom recently passed, and I’m currently in between jobs in the midst of this pandemic. I’ve just felt like I’ve been flailing in comparison to my peers who seem to have it all figured out. This reminds me that it’s all just a lesson and will prepare me for any future turbulence.
Laughed out loud a whole "I'm editing" section, "Oh I wish" and "ok, where are we in the timeline".
I read in an interview an 80s UK pop star was dreading her 30s but her friends told her it was much better than her 20s. It's also been my experience too. Enjoy.
I recently had my 30th birthday and I hope you're right.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS! THANKS FOR ALL OF THEM 😙🥰
What an insightfUl and self aware young man. Now I want to watch his movie.
Currently 20 and I feel lost. Hopefully I figure shit out
I’m turning 24 soon and I feel like my life is slipping away. I feel like I should be doing more than I am now, this video has been so helpful. I’m glad I found this channel
I’m legitimately in love with this guy!! ❤️
What I find most interesting about this essay is that you think it´s over after merely five minutes, when you realize, 20 minutes and 20 movies have already passed. Quite like life itself, actually. My biggest fear when I was younger was to become complacent - I didn't. I wanted to become successful, because I thought it would make me happy - it didn't. Only after I learned how to be happy, I started becoming successful. Also: "Wear Sunscreen!" (Baz Luhrman)
P.S.: I´d love to hear your take on "Sucker Punch"
P.P.S.: I like your list, and I´ll make sure to watch the six films, that weren't on mine!
Gotta love the recession I am probs gonna graduate into! Goooooo class of 2023 (college, mind you).
*fans self* ... Between the tshirt, the background music and the video content... *Continues to fan self*
Thank you. You're now part of things that helped me through my 20s.
I almost lost my sanity and relationships by being so insecure and wondering if I shouldn't be doing more in life. It made project these insecurities onto the people around me and blame them for my unhappiness. I'm 25 now and sorta got my shit together but this social pressure on young twenty-year-olds to be doing or being X and Y by 23-24 still scares me shitless. Thank you so much for doing this video.
So I found your channel randomly through youtube surfing during a boring work day. By my math, I'm about a year and a half older than you and an adoring filmmaker myself. I went through a nervous breakdown at 25 because that was when Spielberg made Jaws and Tarantino made Reservoir Dogs. And I haven't made even a short film in 10 years. This inspired me though. Seeing that I'm not the only one drowning in a job I was forced to settle for, wishing so much to make movies like I always wanted to. I know I can do it, I just need to take that leap of faith.
Thank you very much. I really need to hear this.
You talk about movies and your life as if you're Jim Carrey in The Cable Guy, I enjoy it
Honestly, I almost prefer this version of a "draw my life". This is more entertaining and fits in with your channel. Also, when you got the job in Chicago, my boyfriend was in a very similar position just two weeks ago with his remote job during Covid. Basically the mananger was a bitch to him, didnt like him, would constantly cause him to be stressed and depressed, and fired him two weeks ago for no reason. Im still on unemployment but getting a job soon. I love being at home a lot, but it'll be nice making more than 800/month.
This video is mandatory for all twenty somethings struggling. I don’t feel so alone after watching this. Thank you!
Birdcage is a love letter to love, every beautiful, painful piece of it.
It's quite a strange thing, I'm gonna be 32 in a couple days and I have taken the decision to not celebrate it, specifically because I hate hypocrisy and most of the people around me do not make me feel good, worthy or loved. My best friend stopped talking to me cause of transitioning, my 2nd best friend passed away a year ago, my only remaining best friend, who sometimes feels more than a friend like a part of me, is thousand miles away in a country that's filled with death, corruption and issues (more than other countries but not too much but still I worry endlessly). I sometimes feel like my 20's were better, between 21 and 27 I was happy and loved and filled with dreams. Before that I was a blob of self-harm, self-doubt and stress, after, I became a derailed train with nothing secured except the fact that I was, I am, a transgender male. I usually measure my life with music and books, but maybe I should add movies.
Maybe this comment is going nowhere, but I have to mention that while things seem a lot darker and cruel right now, I think I have never being stronger, because when I was 15 I let myself fall with only a breeze, now? I have the strength to say goodbye to the most toxic relationship I have ever had, with my twin sister. I wouldn't have been able to do it when I was 11 or 15 or even at 26 when I had so many friends to relay on. It's only now with so many things going on that I finally took the decision and went beyond just saying it and actually did it. I'm not sure if it was the right choice in the long run but right now I feel like I can breath easier.
Isn't it kinda unkind to classify "unconditional love" as something cheap and meaningless? It is hard to love unconditionally, and it can come at great cost. I found your thoughts on this to be sad and limiting.
Maybe because unconditional love is too idealistic. Something has to give in real love.
I watched Nightcrawler not really knowing what it was about the night before starting my first TV job, lol
On the graphic tees thing: my dad is 58, he still wears them. It's a timeless look!
Erica Rhodes tells us that 20-somethings are cute because they still think they matter #LoL
Click away halfway through the video. This was obviously just so you can plug your movie.
didnt feel like a 21 minutes video, that was a great watch. i need to watch more movies...
A life biography through film is a really great idea.
Damn this was very moving. I think you're great.
As the decades unfold, trust me, they get easier. I'm in my mid forties.
Thank you so much for this vid it’s great. I’m going through some similar shit that you went through after you graduated so I’m going to watch these movies and try not to die!
I'm still very young (22) but I remember that ever since I turned 19 I started to repeat to myself that I didn't need to rush things and to go at my own pace, and I know I'll be turning 28 and be panicky that I should be doing more with my life, but so far what's helped me the most is that with creative careers you get to put something out there that someone might draw some comfort from
Watching you felt like reading a book.
"circumstantial depression" my life for 3 years looking for a job after graduating uni. also everyone IS where they are because of pure luck. i was extremely lucky to know a person and now i am finally employed.
ps. my therapist seriously said to me that "anyone would be depressed if the things that have happened to you had happened to them" and another one stopped seeing me, because my depression was "only circumstantial" :D:D:D::D:D
Disagree with you on unconditional love. It is a rare and beautiful thing.
Thank you. That part of the video messed me up. I get what he's saying about wanting love to be substantive and unique, demanding responsibility and conscientious effort.. but I think you can have a relationship like that, that's also unconditional.
“Unconditional love” is basically “believe that I love you no matter how bad I treat you coz you’re too messed up for other people to love you anyway.”
okay but what's the little orchestral piece at the end from!! we need to know
Gattaccaaaaaaaaaa 👍🏻
Just turned 32. I got different movies, but the lesson of the 20s you present is spot on.
Girl who will be 31 in October living in Chicago, who knows this experience oh too well. My relief was music. Much appreciated video!
Other than Endgame, for yearly catharsis sake (I love you 3000...that still gets me as a dad). I have to say GotG Vol. 2 is the Marvel movie that has most personally touched me. Because I felt it. The first time I saw it I was holding my week-old daughter in my arms downstairs as my wife slept upstairs with the volume down...and watching the ending hit me MUCH harder than I thought it would. I mean...I was choking back tears. Also, using "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens...when Peter and Groot are hanging out...jeez. It had me looking down at this tiny little one in my hands, sleeping soundly...it was a powerful moment. Not as much as welcoming her together with my wife, but there was just an unbelievable feeling to it.
We watched Gattaca in Biology during High School. I was about the only kid who got or enjoyed it, having seen it before. Was so fun to see our strung ip teacher nerd out over a film.
Cian Chatten Me too!!! It was such an interesting film
@@chrisedward1679 Really was.
Dude. That bit about unconditional love. I've long believed there's a difference between 'family' and 'relatives', and that blood doesn't mean much. But the idea that unconditional love is less, that was an eye opener. I know that wasn't specifically meant for or directed at me, but Thank You.
I'm actually 15 but I love your videos and time flies, thanks for the tips!
It's a bit vindicating to hear "most people hit rock bottom in their mid 20s" , cus shit am I there right now
This was such a gem. I too turned 30 this year and I’ve been struggling with letting go of my 20’s because I felt it was apart of my identity. This video encouraged me to look back and shift my perspective on things. Thanks!
Hello fellow early 30s year old.
"Anything you throw at me is just going into the screenplay"
My mantra in life.
Can't hear what you're saying cause I'm too busy jamming to Ingrid Michaelson, whom you didn't mention in the description. Tisk tisk. Anyway, songs with lyrics in the background while you are also talking is a bad idea, as much as I love the song.
Love that Bird Cage features on this list. So underrated.
i prefer my love provisional, conditional, reciprocal, bespoke... damn.
28 and frankly appreciated the sentiment as someone floundering even if it's not technically upbeat, it still feels optimistic
Why is Ingrid Michaelson's The Way I Am in the background at the start
Jing Yi Tan cuz it’s a bop
If you’re cool with turning 30 (I wasn’t. I was in full panic mode.) You’re going to love your 40’s. It really wasn’t until I turned 40 that I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. I knew exactly who I was, what was truly important in life, and most importantly, I was able recognize bullshit and confidently able to turn my back on it. I can now look back on things that caused great anxiety and depression and realize that none of that mattered. Shortly after turning 42 I realized that staying in a job I hated just because it paid well was the true source of unhappiness. I quit my job, moved back to my hometown and started working for a nonprofit that finds housing for the homeless with mental health disabilities. It doesn’t pay well, but seeing how I’ve contributed to making a marginalized community safer and most importantly, heard, is worth more than the large paychecks I received at my corporate job. I’m actually excited for my 50’s just to see how much growth I will experience. Even in respect to my 40’s.
I can't hear/understand your opening pre-titles phrase.
An extraordinarily beautiful rumination. Thanks for sharing. If you're still hanging around Chicago when you read this, let's have a drink sometime and discuss art, life, love, Chicago, being a cancer survivor (me), being a video essayist (you) and why Charles Foster Kane haunts me. PS. The 30s are awesome. :)
Re: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 & unconditional love - maybe you haven't lived long enough to understand the value of unconditional love. Imagine your life without it. A movie that got me through my 20's was "The Graduate." I understand the movie - and Benjamin - a lot better now that I'm in my 40's. Good luck in your 30's - in many (most?) ways, it's a lot better, more fun and more satisfying decade.
Mid twenties, job hunting, struggling with non-STEM-field grad school in the midst of, y’know *gestures at 2020*, this video is maybe the most comforting thing anyone has told me. Thanks
Your take on what love is (during The Birdcage sequence) makes me think a few things: 1) you clearly haven't met the right person, yet, which is OK - I didn't meet my wife until I was nearly 32; 2) it's difficult to have a proper perspective on what love is when you haven't really known it, or met the Real Thing, yet; 3) you don't really learn about love from the movies - much of what the movies and television and songs tell you about love is filled with a lot of lies...until you've met the right person, and then the full meaning of what they say comes to the surface. As often as they try to do so, it's hard to convey actual love in those mediums. I knew absolutely NOTHING about love until I met my wife. Love is an every day thing. It's becoming best friends. It's about both parties surrendering of their selves to the relationship. What I find most interesting about your take on love is the variety of definitions you've given love. There is often a huge difference between Love and one's "love life." So many people's "love lives" are in disrepair. People who have been married for decades have love lives that are totally dysfunctional. But that's not Love. There can be "loss" in love, but so much is gained when you finally experience it. By calling love "dependency," you've created an oxymoron. One does not equal the other. Love is more a mutual co-existence. It's based on trust. When you say, "Love is compromise," you say it like it's something beneath you. Artists strive not to compromise in their work, and that's a good thing. You can't be in a functional relationship without a little compromise - both parties have to feel like they are safe in having a say in their relationship. Both parties need to be active or resentment might build up. Most of the things that happen in a relationship involve compromise - most of the things that happen in a relationship aren't worth arguing over. No one person in the relationship can have control over the other. When one does, it's by definition, not love. It's a relationship in which one person controls the other for their own purposes. I'd be interested to know what your future self would tell your newly-turned 30 year old self about love.
“Screen printed tees will become less and and less appropriate.” Don’t you dare!! I’m approaching 30’s and I will wear these until I’m dead.
Blah blah blah... a second time... Which is why I'm going to watch your movie again. (I really enjoyed it the first time)
You know how much older you are getting when people so much younger than you complain how much older they're getting... I just turned 60 and I have found a life-long fountain of youth; my love of Mozart.
Don't remember whom I heard this from, but fiction is how we practice experiencing the emotions we fear in real life. Like, I would NOT want to be in an apocalypse, but I can practice the emotions that apocalypses evoke (loneliness, survival, death) without having to experience it irl.
I lack in the English vocabulary department too much to describe how much this video helped me.
Thank you.
Oh my god, that's the Century Centre Cinema where I usually watched movies before COVID
Thank you so much for openly discussing the reality of dreams and perceived success. It occurred to me recently that there is virtually no piece of media that has tackled the big, looming question that haunts so many people, myself included: What happens if my dreams don’t work out? What then? I don’t think I’m quite there yet, and I’ll keep working for it until I can’t anymore, but it’s comforting to know that, even if I technically fail, I can move on without giving up everything. Thank you.
I just got here, so I get that it's been a couple of years since you started your 30's. I don't know how you feel so far, but I'm about halfway through, and I'm more at peace than I've ever been. I know how to properly care for myself in the long term, I know how to cope with my problems, and I'm good at cultivating rewarding friendships now. These are skills I lacked through most of my 20's. People talk a lot of crap about getting older, but the puffy knees and occasional hearing issue is a pretty sweet trade off for the constant roaring chaos of my 20's.
I hope you're having a good time so far!
Currently 26, about to turn 27, married but still not able to live with my wife after 4 years of being long distance because I'm stationed in overseas. Life is up in the air and we can't plan for anything because we don't know what the future is going to bring. So we are just out here floating, holding on to whatever is keeping us going. I have no doubt that I'll eventually land on my feet, but who knows how long that's gonna take. As a person who is currently having his world turned upside down, this video resonated so hard. Between this, and the Gone With the Wind two parter (which was fucking phenomenal btw), I sincerely wish I could shake your hand. Thanks for the work you're doing.
I know it's been three years but I've just got to thank you for this video. The first time I saw it was three years ago when you'd just published it. I'd just dropped out of grad school and moved several states away to find a job only to find myself living off my savings during months of unemployment as I continued to go on interview after interview only to be told that I didn't have enough experience. Since then, things have really picked up (state of the world not withstanding). I was feeling like a miserable failure when you published this video and it really helped me get through a lot of stuff so thanks.
Very true that the problems get bigger but so does your ability to face them head on. I turned 30 this year and incidentally attended UChicago (class of 2012); suffice it to say my path deviated significantly from what my plans were.
Massive kudos, this is quickly becoming my favorite channel
I mean, im not in my 20s, im 15, but if I had to pick a couple films that have helped me they would be Lady Bird, Booksmart and Eight Grade. All female led coming of age films but im female and im coming of age, of course im going to connect to them
Just turned 20, picked a major that’s probably way over my head... needed this
Topher Brink's always fuckin' shit up! Why is that? Oh...
Joss Whedon.
I am past sixty and have always been a serious movie buff all my life. Always wondered how movies have been so crucial to me and how some movies have so profoundly influenced my life, helped me to live and go ahead. From Easy Rider to Taxi Driver, from Bergman to Kurosawa, from Godard to Antonioni, from Blade Runner to Stalker, not to mention countless Indian films from my own land most wouldn’t know, I have lived through, in spite and because of those. I am impressed by the narrative you’ve created around movies in your life. I am so gratified to see young ones like you living lives the way I so intensely experienced. Good wishes and good luck to you for the rest of your life.
I've watched this video before, but I really needed this catharsis today. Thank you so much for your videos.
Hm... this video makes me appreciate my mundane job and be okay with not climbing up to some top that most likely cant even be reached. That I got a nice enough job that doesn't abuse the tar out of me, and we're all pretty chill despite it being bad at times and that I still live with my parents than doing this usual bullshit of "move out immediately, get a family, get nice 9-5 that doesn't actually exist" to dig that hole that many families around me are in.
This made me feel alright about myself.
That... pardon my French, but f*ck me, for at least a short while this will have helped, or at least resonated with me. I am precisely in the situation you described, trying to get paid job in the film industry (not happening), with existential anxiety as well as the fears indeed that I will not be able to figure out what I want and /or achieve it if what Ithink I want is in fact what will improve my chances of being happy on a temporary basis. I suppose a difference is that while I have never had problems working hard, though for some reason I keep convincing myself I don't and can't, after I do depression still eats me up and prevents me from doing anything else. And though I have never been in love, or in a relationship for that matter, or precisely because of it I appreciate so much what you said about romantic relationships. Also, sharks are one of my biggest fears past the existential ones, so I relate with that too.
I was brought up in a broken family and I had to deal with all sorts of violence. Both physical and verbal abuse. what helped me survive my teen years was One tree hill. It made me feel hope, inspired to be creative and I learned more about how to be an ethical, inclusive human being with good values. Im pretty sure OTH saved me and helped me in my personal growth. 😊
"Pacific Rim" is so mindnumbingly dumb, it makes Bayformers seem like "2001: A Space Odyssey".
Maybe it’s just me but I completely hate the ending of Brooklyn. I love almost all of the film but honestly Jim is so much better suited to Eilish. Tony pressures her into marrying him and doesn’t understand the culture she’s from. Literally it’s just that one old woman who’s a total bitch who makes her change her mind and it’s such an irrational choice to me.
I'm in my mid-twenties and just completed school, only to be faced with the horrors of the corona pandemic and economic fallout...so I feel that 2008 recession pain. this video has definitely made me feel much more optimistic than older people telling me that post graduation struggles aren't unique to my generation and to get over it.
This video is really... I don't know, helpful seems like such a small word. But I've only got about a month left before I turn 30, and I am just really glad that I decided to watch this video today. You put into words stuff that I've been struggling to wrap my mind around. Thank you.
I'm 37. I can't wait to get to be 40, your BS radar grows so strong and your guts grow as well so in my 40s I think that I will finally be able to not take any crap.