6:03 - 6:36 stimulus of anger is not cause of anger 16:19 - 17:35 steps 1-3 to separate stimulus of anger from actual cause of anger and THEN identify the ROOT EMOTION that exists beyond/behind the anger that is based on AND reveals the internal need 17:36 judgements based on anger (a diversion emotion, not a need based emotion) are tragic expressions of need 21:36 - 22:03 transforming anger into need-serving emotions 22:04 basic function of feelings is to serve our needs. 22:11 - 22:54 the meaning of “emotion” 22:55 anger is a diversion
15:29 be conscious of this quick thought process to separate stimulus from cause of anger 17:25 judgements are not only alienated expressions of our needs but even suicidal, tragic expressions of our needs because people are observant and sharp, they will pick up on you judging them and get defensive instead of willingly and happily cooperstive. People will have an “energy that we will pay for” even if they do “cooperate.” They will “cooperate “ not willingly but out of fear or guilt or hatred of being judged. So IT’S EQUALLY IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE KNOW WHY THEY DO WHAT WE’D LIKE THEM TO AS THEM DOING IT. Be conscious that we only want people to do things WILLINGLY instead out of motivation of not being blamed, shamed, guilted or punished if they don’t do it 19:52 have a literacy/consciousness of our needs so we can get in touch with our needs [BEHIND OUR JUDGMENTS and ANGER] and CLEARLY EXPRESS them so others can be more likely to be compassionate 20:43 judging and “thinking in terms of wrongness of others” makes you blind to what you’re needing and lacking vocab for expressing those needs such that you can communicate effectively those needs 29:49 “these things happens very quickly” reiterated
26:05 - 26:36 “thoughts go through our head so quickly that we don’t know they’re there. We don’t see the thought process (the evaluation) that goes on between the stimulus and the anger 26:37 anecdotes to illustrate “that it’s never the stimulus that causes the anger but the thought process in between “
30:54 The 4th step: what we would actually say out loud to the other person after we’ve made this transformation (anger into need-serving feelings) 31:17 4 pieces of information to complete “the 4th step”
38:25 concrete example of “the 4 things” WHEN I HEAR you make statements like that I FEEL very discouraged BECAUSE I HAVE A STRONG NEED for people to be seen as individuals and not lumped into categories and I’D LIKE YOU TO tell me back what you just heard me say so i can see IF I MADE MY NEEDS CLEAR
Let go of what has passed. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening now. Don’t try to figure anything out. Don’t try to make anything happen. Relax, right now, and rest.
I’m feeling angry because I need to receive this type of information without being interrupted by 8 separate commercials. Otherwise, I’m feeling grateful for this information being shared :)
For the sake of distinguishing between types of energetic opposing reaction - generalized as 'anger', here is a suggestion to use different words like; fury, wrath and anger (for example only, as some may see anger as milder than fury). Fury - Strong feeling of a necessity to rebuke a negatively viewed phenomenon, without necessarily losing one's head. Wrath - The energetically heated action generated by fury. Anger - Fury and wrath uncontrolled by reflection but driven by an uncontrolled pushing off a negatively viewed phenomenon with its accompaniments, without due consideration of the phenomenon's mechanism. While neither should be repressed when they surface, but be dealt with, anger (as interpreted here) needs to become a controlled fury by considering it's mechanism through the steps taught here. STIMULUS: strongly unwanted fact. CAUSE: mental attachment blinded by non tolerance of it's fact by refusing to think about a mechanism in which the fact is considered. ROOT: attempting to neutralize the unwanted fact by uncontrollably pushing away all around it including the messenger.
Is my need based on my interpretation of the stimulus? For example, if I'm interpreting that the person is acting inconsiderate, does my need for consideration originate with the interpretation? If so, is it still beneficial to address the need? "What can I do to fulfill my need for consideration based on my (possibly false) interpretation of their actions?" seems a bit like, "what can I do to defend myself from the imaginary monster in the closet?" Any clarification on that would be much appreciated :)
6:03 - 6:36 stimulus of anger is not cause of anger
16:19 - 17:35 steps 1-3 to separate stimulus of anger from actual cause of anger and THEN identify the ROOT EMOTION that exists beyond/behind the anger that is based on AND reveals the internal need
17:36 judgements based on anger (a diversion emotion, not a need based emotion) are tragic expressions of need
21:36 - 22:03 transforming anger into need-serving emotions
22:04 basic function of feelings is to serve our needs.
22:11 - 22:54 the meaning of “emotion”
22:55 anger is a diversion
15:29 be conscious of this quick thought process to separate stimulus from cause of anger
17:25 judgements are not only alienated expressions of our needs but even suicidal, tragic expressions of our needs because people are observant and sharp, they will pick up on you judging them and get defensive instead of willingly and happily cooperstive. People will have an “energy that we will pay for” even if they do “cooperate.” They will “cooperate “ not willingly but out of fear or guilt or hatred of being judged. So IT’S EQUALLY IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE KNOW WHY THEY DO WHAT WE’D LIKE THEM TO AS THEM DOING IT. Be conscious that we only want people to do things WILLINGLY instead out of motivation of not being blamed, shamed, guilted or punished if they don’t do it
19:52 have a literacy/consciousness of our needs so we can get in touch with our needs [BEHIND OUR JUDGMENTS and ANGER] and CLEARLY EXPRESS them so others can be more likely to be compassionate
20:43 judging and “thinking in terms of wrongness of others” makes you blind to what you’re needing and lacking vocab for expressing those needs such that you can communicate effectively those needs
29:49 “these things happens very quickly” reiterated
26:05 - 26:36 “thoughts go through our head so quickly that we don’t know they’re there. We don’t see the thought process (the evaluation) that goes on between the stimulus and the anger
26:37 anecdotes to illustrate “that it’s never the stimulus that causes the anger but the thought process in between “
30:54 The 4th step: what we would actually say out loud to the other person after we’ve made this transformation (anger into need-serving feelings)
31:17 4 pieces of information to complete “the 4th step”
36:00 the 4 things: tge observations, feelings, needs, requests
38:25 concrete example of “the 4 things” WHEN I HEAR you make statements like that I FEEL very discouraged BECAUSE I HAVE A STRONG NEED for people to be seen as individuals and not lumped into categories and I’D LIKE YOU TO tell me back what you just heard me say so i can see IF I MADE MY NEEDS CLEAR
Let go of what has passed.
Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now.
Don’t try to figure anything out.
Don’t try to make anything happen.
Relax, right now, and rest.
I’m feeling angry because I need to receive this type of information without being interrupted by 8 separate commercials. Otherwise, I’m feeling grateful for this information being shared :)
You are in need of continuity and progression, and possibly ease of process.
Premium!
Indeed 😊 @@jamesk2681
Pay for utube then
@@feyzacelik723 that's an analysis
Very well researched and expressed..... very grateful for providing this kind of learning
Thank you for making it available in its original lengh.
Fooking brilliant! Listened again to him after about 20 years ... still impressive
Become aware of what alienating story it is that you were telling yourself which causes you to become angry
Thankyou
Thank you 😃🙋♂️❤️⭐️🚀☀️🥳🙌
For the sake of distinguishing between types of energetic opposing reaction - generalized as 'anger', here is a suggestion to use different words like; fury, wrath and anger (for example only, as some may see anger as milder than fury).
Fury - Strong feeling of a necessity to rebuke a negatively viewed phenomenon, without necessarily losing one's head.
Wrath - The energetically heated action generated by fury.
Anger - Fury and wrath uncontrolled by reflection but driven by an uncontrolled pushing off a negatively viewed phenomenon with its accompaniments, without due consideration of the phenomenon's mechanism.
While neither should be repressed when they surface, but be dealt with, anger (as interpreted here) needs to become a controlled fury by considering it's mechanism through the steps taught here. STIMULUS: strongly unwanted fact. CAUSE: mental attachment blinded by non tolerance of it's fact by refusing to think about a mechanism in which the fact is considered. ROOT: attempting to neutralize the unwanted fact by uncontrollably pushing away all around it including the messenger.
Is my need based on my interpretation of the stimulus?
For example, if I'm interpreting that the person is acting inconsiderate, does my need for consideration originate with the interpretation?
If so, is it still beneficial to address the need? "What can I do to fulfill my need for consideration based on my (possibly false) interpretation of their actions?" seems a bit like, "what can I do to defend myself from the imaginary monster in the closet?"
Any clarification on that would be much appreciated :)
Me ruñcl