Only 5 minutes in so I don’t know if this will be mentioned but to everyone suffering please remember this: Baby steps are key. If you want to start showing your arms or legs or wherever ease yourself into long journeys or travels. For example start by wearing short sleeves to walk down the street then ease yourself up to going to restaurants etc. 💚
Im actually overseas with my parents and have self harm scars pn my upper arm that they don't know about so i started to wear short sleeves just to be more comfortable with some kf my scars and im actually really proud of myself😊
Why do ppl cut the arms then? Sure it's the easiest place and maybe you're not thinking about how nasty a scar can look in the moment. But if I was a habitual self-harmer, go for places that are supposed to be covered by clothing. Even if it's the thigh or shoulder, keeping that covered could be easily excused for modesty reasons. Nobody would see them.
@@Em_Elizabeth I cut loads of places if I cut my arms and then wear a t-shirt they're seen. And my legs if its warm for shorts then they are seen. My stomach is seen if I wear a cropped top or a flowy top that jumps up. Or my chest is if I have low cut tops. There is loads of places to cut and each one could been seen in different clothes or situations. I mean swimming would be so hard.
@@caithaney5554 im not diagnosed by a doctor but I have seen videos and I have asked my friends who have been officially diagnosed and we have they same symptoms. I also asked people whom are therapists on the symptoms.
Munira AlSuwailem in that situation what you have to do is explain to them those exact things. if they aren’t super open people, your parents, then break in the convo such as possibly starting by saying you want to talk about something important, and saying you’ve spoken to friends about ways you’ve been feeling (listing at least general examples of ways you’ve felt and changes in your behavior even what they may have noticed) and that the friends said they felt the same way too and went to therapists whp diagnosed them with mental illnesses. leading you to speak to certified therapists yourself as well just to see if you were in the wrong for assuming you may have something going on up there too. and that they said it was absolutely worth looking into (or whatever they did say that potentially confirmed your beliefs). if they’re not as stubborn to get through to though, but you’re nervous, i would suggest texting them if possible ahead of time and asking to talk to them when they have time at home, that there is something important to you and you need to be heard out. that you are not doing well. then when that time comes, let them know that regardless of what others think, you know there is something wrong, you know what’s going on in your head and showing in your behaviors isn’t right and isn’t the real you and perhaps you feel blocked from living your best life and you are in pain. if you’re uncomfortable wording it that way try to just explain certain things that you’ve been thinking or doing that they know is unlike you or is definitely troubling/unhealthy. if you’re afraid of saying specifically how you hurt yourself (if you do) then say more generally that you have been struggling to the point of hurting yourself and you just feel even regardless of that that you want to feel better and be yourself again but that you need help, and you need their help to get better by taking you to a doctor. if applicable, maybe even search nearby psychologists/psychiatrists under your insurance to suggest to them so they are less concerned about figuring out that part of it. then if they are harder to get through to they might then see how serious you really are about your condition and about finding out exactly what is wrong and how you can stop doing these things to yourself and how much it is affecting your life. sorry this comment is so long, i just can completely see where you are coming from and i was a fresh teenager when i started to be physically affected by my mental illnesses but wasn’t diagnosed for two years and still have two things i was never officially diagnosed with on paper bc of my age at the time. and i want to do what i can to help young people faster bc even with a very trusting mother it was hard for me. i had a mental breakdown at school in freshman year of HS and went to the guidance counselor and incidentally showed her my scars, many of which were recent, and she called my mom, who came and was provided the truth of my health and harm, and i thank her a lot for that. sometimes you just need a third party. sometimes it is easier for some people to tell someone of authority who is opt to tell your parents and will do it with you there; maybe it will make things easier on everyone for another example of concern as well as another channel of communication that is raw and honest but monitored and therefore taken seriously. i hope this all helps in some way. just whatever you do don’t keep it in for too long, understand that people love you and do care and don’t want you to suffer in silence, even if they seem at first like they don’t want to hear it (it is only because they are scared of the truth sometimes-in reality, they will only wish you told them sooner, it is just hard for people to learn that their child or someone they love is so miserable within themselves and there is nothing they can do about it on their own, but faced with the seriousness they will do whatever they have in their power to do, such as take you to get checked out and diagnosed and treated in whatever ways are necessary.)- don’t hold back sweetheart. you are worth itx
PSA: if you happen to see someone’s scars while they’re wearing shorts or short sleeves, don’t comment on it! It’s hot out and maybe they’re finally starting to feel comfortable again
My parents knew I self harmed, and last year in the uk when it was really hot and I was wearing long sleeves all the time I got so fed up. Both my parents were at work and I sent them both a message saying when they got home I’d be in short sleeves and that my arms were worse than when they first saw them but that I was doing good and not to worry. Obviously when they first got home they looked but they didn’t say anything my sister didn’t say anything either. Now I comfortably wear them out around the house, and when I’m out too, I tend to be kinda confident some days are easier than others however. Like in some days I’m fine with just a T-shirt but others I’ll take a hoodie or something to cover up if I feel like everyone’s looking at them or I don’t feel great with them out. I wore long sleeves and hoodies for five years and last year being able to wear just T-shirt’s and sit out in the sun and be comfortable and not too warm and sweating all the time was so nice and I’m so happy I told people when I did. ❤️
I self harm and my mom knows because I don't lie to her or my brother and sister. I've never shown them. And my brother hasn't seen me in over a year so he don't know I have relapsed in self harm . I have no shame in my self harm I accept it I get told to stop by my friends who love me truly but my best friend in the world died from a drug overdose in 2019 and it hasn't stopped haunting me . I self harm when I can't handle it any more . I have sever anxiety and depression. I've cried over his death and the other 7 people I lost between 2017 and 2019.
my parents found out when I accidently put my sleeve up in class when the teacher was gone and everyone saw and 6 kids told on me and my teacher had to call my parents so that's how they found out for me
I have worn long sleeves for 4-5 years now, i tried to roll my sleeves up because i was hot, someone came up to me and pulled them down. I haven't showed them to anyone since, if i roll my sleeves up i put my arms under the table so no one sees. This helped a lot, thank you so much💜
i've been covering my scars in public for almost 5 years, even when its 90+ degrees out. almost all of the friends i've made after that time have never seen my scars. i always get shocked and disgusted reactions from people when i do go out with bare arms. its depressing
Something I've learnt over the past few years - light coloured, cotton and baggy clothes are great for summer! Also, if possible, keep your wrists slightly exposed to the air, keeping your wrists cool can help keep you cool! Sometimes I end up being cooler than people wearing sleeveless tops, dresses without tights etc Hope this helps!
I would really appreciate it if you made a video about how you told your parents because mine know but I still feel like they don't understand and I want to sit down and properly discuss everything, except I have no idea how to do that
i have selfharm scars and i am to scared to go out in public and show them. it have been some days that have been hot but i still wear a long sleeve. the hardest thing will be to come to my work with a t-shirt. i work in a kindergarten, so i have no idea what to tell the kids when they ask about my scars.
My advice is to tell them “ everyone goes through things, some people get sick or lose their loved ones...but that’s just life. One day maybe you’ll have have a bad day but it’s not gonna last forever. And sometimes people don’t want to talk about types of things... and that’s ok! But I’ve been through something really bad but I got better, but I don’t want to talk about it so let’s talk about something else, wanna play in the sand pit?” ☺️
This makes me feel sad because my parents always tell me to cover them. If I’m in public with them, regardless of its 10.c or 35.c they always tell me to cover them :(
im so sorry:( it’s nothing to be ashamed of! this comment was a year ago & im hoping that their views have somehow changed maybe. wishing u all the love, luck, happiness & healing!! x
I wish I had this video yrs ago. 💗 I'm a mother of 2. And it was my daughter's bday this June. We had her party at a beach. Some of her friends parents stuck around. I had my scars out. My family is well used to it but there were several new people there. And having kids around..who can be blunt with their questions. I wish I had "warned" the parents. Answered questions ahead of time. No one was rude or anything but I personally felt so self conscious. It was way too hot. And I feel too old and far past my self harming days to keep hiding. But I do still. I appreciate this so much. Your channel. You. I found you shortly after my daughter's bday party. I hope you're doing well. I truly do. Xo
thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for posting this as it is exactly what i needed today. thank you for being so open and honest about self harm because that’s fucking difficult. you are so strong always thank you marie!!❤️
Literally not sure if I’m the only one, I’ve recently started SH again, after a breakdown in my mental health, after years of being clean. I now couldn’t care less if people look or see my arms hurt now, I think I’m at the point if they have an issue they can leave.
You make my days and my heart feel so much stronger and better. When I’m feeling anxious for no reason and I can’t reroute my own thoughts I like to go for walks and your video was the first in my subscription box today. Thank you
YES! Video on how to tell your parents! Especially after a relapse - when you have been clean for a long time, and they thought it was over years ago. :)))
it’s summer soon. my family know. but i’m scared of showing them and then doing it again. because they get angry when they find out i’ve started doing it again.
this couldnt have come out at a better time!!!! any advice for prom? x Edit: I’m in love w my dress and my scars are beginning to heal and fade I’m after tips to just have the confidence to walk around and forget they’re there bcos I get so paranoiddd
i have my prom this year, and i opted for a long sleeved dress just because i know that i wouldn’t feel comfortable because it is an event based on appearance but honestly, if you feel comfortable enough to do so, wear your arms out and dont think about other people’s perspectives my advice if you like a dress WEAR THE FRICKIN DRESS you can always wear a scarf or bring something just in case :) x
Or they do nice long sleeved dresses that have lacy arms because that’ll look more summery because sometimes I feel it’s just as awkward wearing long sleeves when it’s hot because I get paranoid people know why I’m wearing long sleeves but honestly you don’t need to cover them up if you don’t want to x
I love your videos!!! Thank you for being so open and for breaking the stigma and for publishing helpful videos. You make my day easier! Also your dress looks great on you!!!
For me the hardest people to were my scars out with was my famly and also can u Make a video with your parents about self harm scars Edit: so someone could show it to their parents and they could understand better
thank u so much for making this video!! i’m struggling a lot w/ this whole shit thing. i’m so grateful for u n ur honesty w/ us, bc personally it has helped me a lot!
I cant relate to any of this and cant say I know anyone who goes through it but, I am always intrigued by these videos and people that dont suffer from mental health really can learn alot too, it's really surprising the amount of people that do have mental health issues and they shouldn't have to go through any of this.. Its scary because so many people dont open up about these things and obviously it's not easy, I know that but we really need to start doing more about this 💪 and if you have come across this and suffering from mental health issues You Can do this! Remember if you dont feel comfortable telling a parent or a friend there are other people to talk to for help.. You WILL get through this ❤💪
I’m getting a lot more comfortable wearing short sleeves and shorts out when I’m with my family and friends but I still struggle with wearing short sleeves at work. It’s just such a different situation with different circumstances and I don’t want people assuming my capabilities and skills based on my scars and the stigma around it /:
I cut my stomach, my stomach only. I do it there as im in a swimming club and my swimming costume covers it. A lot of the clothes i own are crop tops, belly tops ext... I would never wear them if i had fresh cuts but im also scared to wear them even with scars. I feel because stomach is a easy place to hide and not everyone wears crop tops in the summer like t shirts, it may seem like im doing it for attention or something but i just find those nice looking clothes or/ and comfy ones. Same goes for bikinis. For swimming training i would still obviously wear a costume but on holiday it would be nice to wear a bikini without attention seeking because i could just wear a costume instead. Atm i just wear my t shirts i own (which is not many compared to crop tops and that). It has been a good few months since wearing a stomach revealing top without a hoodie or something covering it. I dont know..
this helped me again!❤️ one day at my job a guy from the work i work in the kitchen btw saw my arms so he took me away and grabbed my arm and said “are you okay?” it where already scars but it still helps me that he knows and that’s all because i watch your videos thanks💗
I love how you used shit as an example🤣🤣 hahah but on a real note, your videos gave me the courage and confidence to be okay with my scars, they’re on my thigh and can’t see some of it but I’m okay if they show now bc I use to be so self conscious abt them and make sure my shorts are covering them 24/7 and when I started not caring, I told my mom abt my scars and I’m not gonna try and hide them all the time and she doesn’t say anything abt them. Your videos have helped me so much and gave me for helpful coping skills. Thank you so much for all you do, you have such a genuine and beautiful soul. Keep doing what you’re doing, I’m really proud of you💛💛
Thank you, just thank you. You are lovely 💜 I am almost 24 and though my scars are white, I still look and think about it, especially in the sun and when they seem super noticeable. The "what ifs" bring me down too, not to mention thinking about my future and worrying if I lapse then. I'm for the most part okay with my body and don't care what others may think, but some days, I still get self-conscious and roll up my sleeves even though others don't say anything. Thanks for always being you. Take care!
I stumbled across your Channel when I wasn’t in a good place and I know lots of people say this but your channel has really helped me, I’m 14 and in year 9 in secondary school, your account has helped me to open up to people about how I feel, I still have really bad days and times where I still want to die but I always try to think positively, thank you x❤️
You never fail to impress us Marie, you actually incredible! I am so so proud of you. You have helped me and so many other people to become more confident and be honest about how they’re feeling. Love you mannn❤️❤️
I am only new to your channel but I have watched several of you videos now and this is honestly some of the best advice I've heard and all of your storytime videos are incredible to find someone who has been through a very similar experience to me and I've never been open enough to talk about it to my friends now who dont know my past sk to put it out in public I honestly think it is amazing x
i’m extremely lucky at the moment. i opened up to my best friend about my recent self harm and she opened up having the same experiences. we are helping each other become clean and i am forever grateful for her
I usually choose to be confident and show my scars while I’m planning my outfit at home but I always end up taking some backup jacket with me that eventually never comes off. I wish it wasn’t that way. 🥺Anyway, thanks for the video 🥰
Luna Celine i have scars on my lower hips n when i go to the pool i was always afraid. when people ask abt them i just walk away or say “it’s none of ur business”. it’s worked so far
I have horrible scars on both arms and legs and haven't been able to show them in like 4 years now. I'm in active recovery and am currently a month clean tomorrow which isn't long, but baby steps I guess? Thank you for this. I just found your channel and you are such a lovely human!!
I am soo grateful for this video ❤️❤️ thank you so much for being so open and helping us. And for putting yourself out there so brazen ❤️❤️❤️ and I would love to see a video about the whole situation with your parents...
Thanks for this Marie. This video was so encouraging. I’ve been struggling on this subject and it’s so scary uncovering scars. You never know how people will respond. But your video really helped 💜
you are such a beautiful human being and you have a wonderful soul. You help me a lot and i hope that you only have good things coming your ways. And hopefully you have a supportive team behind you for when the times get rough
I love you so much Marie ❤️. Honestly all of your help is incredible. Was so happy you posted, literally your getting me through each day. I just watch back at videos. You inspire me xx
I relapsed today after my mom said that I was a piece of sh*t and she hated me. That she wasn’t going to take me anywhere with her ever again and that she wasn’t going to do anything for me anymore. After I helped my sister do her homework for a hour and I wanted to take a break and have her help her for a bit. Apparently “I don’t do anything for anyone and she genuinely hates me.”
I was so afraid to wear short sleeves. When I went on escorted leave with a hca and another patient, I decided to take a jumper. the hca encouraged me to tell myself “fuck it, I can wear short sleeves”, she gave me the courage to, and I did. I’m so glad she did, even though the entire time I was so scared, I felt so out of place. The patient I was with was informal and she hasn’t struggled with selfharm or anything, so I felt that I was standing out. But the 2 people were so supportive of me, they gave me the strength I couldn’t find myself. Considering that was the first time in public I’ve worn short sleeves, I was glad that I had the constant reassurance when people did take a second look. Just thought I’d share that☺️ Love you Marie xxxx
So I(sorta)deal with anorexia and depression so kinda seeing myself skinny helps a bit so during the winter I’ll eat like a pig but the cold distracts me from the point that I’ve gotten fat so yay than during summer I’ll be extremely active running riding my bike till I lose all the weight(that I gained it normally takes all summer) so by the time the last two weeks of summer comes around I’m my desired weight than I enjoy than I repeat once winter comes around I donno it helps me
thank you sm for all the advice u always give to everyone, Ik that for me and many others ur channel is such a safe space and u make everyone feel more included! hope your doing well! also I’d love the video on how to tell ur parents💞
I literally just today wore shorts for the first time in like 4 1/2 years. Just on a quick trip to Target but I was really proud of myself. Thankfully no one stared that I noticed or gave any rude comments, not naive enough to believe I won't get them at some point. But yeah. Just thought I'd share a victory for me. :)
i am not clean yet. I hate looking at my self now, and I have trouble talking about it. Like I dont feel like I can go out and see a therapist and start talking. I CANT EVEN TELL MY OWN FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!
I had been cutting my wrists when summer rolled around, and I needed to wear short sleeves... so I let my wrist scars heal and started cutting my stomach... I'm not proud of my self for it either.
Like everything you just said was absolutely right and reasonable but it just gets me so bad when my mom tells me that only insane people self harm and if you self harm you're not going to be loved like you used to be . She says like "What if someone sees your scars and calls you crazy ? What are you gonna do with that ?".The feeling of being judged and unwanted just because I'm not happy and my life isn't how I wished it to be makes me wanna die and end my life even more . The only thing I want is to be able to walk with t-shirt and shorts in the streets one day without being judged or called out . I didn't care what people thought about my scars but my parents did what the wanted to and they made me feel so inconvenient about my body , the way I look , the way I sound and the things I do . BTW I love you so much and you're my light at the end of the tunnel and you're the reason why I'm still alive :))>3
Yes girl, you’re so right, you give good advice and you’re so so strong! We all gonna make it, it’s okay to show your scars and it’s okay to be not okay, we’ll fight the bad feelings and negative thoughts, life is so much more then that, we’ll get through it. And Mariee, you helped me and other people a lot! Thankyou
I didn't wear short sleeves, in fact, I didn't show any part of my body, for 3 years both outside and inside of my home. My parents hadn't seen my arms for even longer than that. I actually showed my mum my arms for the first time with my therapist and she told the rest of my family to not ask questions or pay attention unless I specifically mentioned them. It was really helpful. I've now had them covered up by tattoos and it makes me so much more confident.
This video was so helpful and inspirational. One question: how do you decide who to tell/prepare? How many people should know? I have quite a few friends who I'm not particularly close with who might see and there are quite a few situations (like school, choir, drama group) where there are a lot of people who could see and if I did decide to show my scars, I don't know which people I should tell. Sorry if this is a bit rambly. I hope it makes sense
For anyone who isn’t ready to show their scars and doesn’t want to wear long sleeves, you might want to look into henna. It’s kind of like a semi permanent tattoo that you can draw on your skin with and it actually stains your skin. I did this last summer and I cannot tell you how much it has helped me. It helps camouflage your scars and you can create beautiful designs. Just remember that your scars are part of who you are, and you’re beautiful so how can they be anything less. You’re not alone even if you feel that way all of us are here for you. I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but you are loved.
Love this video 👍 I showed my arms in front of my friends today and they were absolutely lovely about it , they didn’t say anything and they didn’t really stare , of course I caught them having a look , but I think that’s normal. And my friend kinda sensed that I was really having a bad time atm and we had a great catch on the bus and she told me that she is there and she will always be there for me
I’ve been a self harmer on and off for three to four years and earlier this year my mum saw the scars on my arm and reacted badly. She believed that they were fresh, however they weren’t but were still going through the healing stages. Since then I have been putting bio-oil on and coconut oil to help them to fade and become less obvious.
I am really unshore about showing my arms because I can still see them and it just gets me everytime... But i still am staying strong and so should u guys love ya❤💪
I love this video ❤️ it is so helpful x this definitely helped me in so many ways. Omg your such an inspiration and I love youuuuu so much 😍 can you do the video on how you told your parents about your self harm and how they reacted and what they did? X that would also be such a help. Also could you do a video on friends and self harm, like how to tell them and make them understand self harm without making them feel triggered or anything. Love you so much and supporting you all the way xx
A few years ago and I told my mom I was self harming, she screamed at me, told me how selfish I was, took my phone away and grounded me from it and any form of fun or anything social for six months, after that she just stayed angry at me and kept calling me selfish and attention seeking
Only 5 minutes in so I don’t know if this will be mentioned but to everyone suffering please remember this:
Baby steps are key. If you want to start showing your arms or legs or wherever ease yourself into long journeys or travels. For example start by wearing short sleeves to walk down the street then ease yourself up to going to restaurants etc. 💚
Thank you
Im actually overseas with my parents and have self harm scars pn my upper arm that they don't know about so i started to wear short sleeves just to be more comfortable with some kf my scars and im actually really proud of myself😊
@@danaellison3216 well done 😊
You Perfect And Sweet ❤️ Im 20 Year's Old And Have Bigg Scars But I Cover My Arm Because I Lost Friend 😔
You never realize how special it is to be able to wear a t-shirt and shorts freely until you cant anymore.
I never ever thoughtthat a t-shirt was a privilege until I started to self-harm and now will not be able to wear a t-shirt anymore
Exactly
So true tho , u never realise how hard it is unless u are in the same situation
Why do ppl cut the arms then? Sure it's the easiest place and maybe you're not thinking about how nasty a scar can look in the moment. But if I was a habitual self-harmer, go for places that are supposed to be covered by clothing. Even if it's the thigh or shoulder, keeping that covered could be easily excused for modesty reasons. Nobody would see them.
@@Em_Elizabeth I cut loads of places if I cut my arms and then wear a t-shirt they're seen. And my legs if its warm for shorts then they are seen. My stomach is seen if I wear a cropped top or a flowy top that jumps up. Or my chest is if I have low cut tops. There is loads of places to cut and each one could been seen in different clothes or situations. I mean swimming would be so hard.
the first 15 seconds were the most relatable 15 seconds of my life lol
can you please do a video on how to open up to your parents on self harm and depression?
Munira AlSuwailem yess ❤️
Yes! It would be such a good video and helpful for many people x
Munira AlSuwailem how do u know you have depression if ur not diagnosed:(
@@caithaney5554 im not diagnosed by a doctor but I have seen videos and I have asked my friends who have been officially diagnosed and we have they same symptoms. I also asked people whom are therapists on the symptoms.
Munira AlSuwailem in that situation what you have to do is explain to them those exact things. if they aren’t super open people, your parents, then break in the convo such as possibly starting by saying you want to talk about something important, and saying you’ve spoken to friends about ways you’ve been feeling (listing at least general examples of ways you’ve felt and changes in your behavior even what they may have noticed) and that the friends said they felt the same way too and went to therapists whp diagnosed them with mental illnesses. leading you to speak to certified therapists yourself as well just to see if you were in the wrong for assuming you may have something going on up there too. and that they said it was absolutely worth looking into (or whatever they did say that potentially confirmed your beliefs).
if they’re not as stubborn to get through to though, but you’re nervous, i would suggest texting them if possible ahead of time and asking to talk to them when they have time at home, that there is something important to you and you need to be heard out. that you are not doing well. then when that time comes, let them know that regardless of what others think, you know there is something wrong, you know what’s going on in your head and showing in your behaviors isn’t right and isn’t the real you and perhaps you feel blocked from living your best life and you are in pain. if you’re uncomfortable wording it that way try to just explain certain things that you’ve been thinking or doing that they know is unlike you or is definitely troubling/unhealthy. if you’re afraid of saying specifically how you hurt yourself (if you do) then say more generally that you have been struggling to the point of hurting yourself and you just feel even regardless of that that you want to feel better and be yourself again but that you need help, and you need their help to get better by taking you to a doctor. if applicable, maybe even search nearby psychologists/psychiatrists under your insurance to suggest to them so they are less concerned about figuring out that part of it. then if they are harder to get through to they might then see how serious you really are about your condition and about finding out exactly what is wrong and how you can stop doing these things to yourself and how much it is affecting your life. sorry this comment is so long, i just can completely see where you are coming from and i was a fresh teenager when i started to be physically affected by my mental illnesses but wasn’t diagnosed for two years and still have two things i was never officially diagnosed with on paper bc of my age at the time. and i want to do what i can to help young people faster bc even with a very trusting mother it was hard for me. i had a mental breakdown at school in freshman year of HS and went to the guidance counselor and incidentally showed her my scars, many of which were recent, and she called my mom, who came and was provided the truth of my health and harm, and i thank her a lot for that. sometimes you just need a third party. sometimes it is easier for some people to tell someone of authority who is opt to tell your parents and will do it with you there; maybe it will make things easier on everyone for another example of concern as well as another channel of communication that is raw and honest but monitored and therefore taken seriously. i hope this all helps in some way. just whatever you do don’t keep it in for too long, understand that people love you and do care and don’t want you to suffer in silence, even if they seem at first like they don’t want to hear it (it is only because they are scared of the truth sometimes-in reality, they will only wish you told them sooner, it is just hard for people to learn that their child or someone they love is so miserable within themselves and there is nothing they can do about it on their own, but faced with the seriousness they will do whatever they have in their power to do, such as take you to get checked out and diagnosed and treated in whatever ways are necessary.)- don’t hold back sweetheart. you are worth itx
Also, to any human on earth: don't freaking point out self harm scars on someone else, especially a stranger.
PSA: if you happen to see someone’s scars while they’re wearing shorts or short sleeves, don’t comment on it! It’s hot out and maybe they’re finally starting to feel comfortable again
My parents knew I self harmed, and last year in the uk when it was really hot and I was wearing long sleeves all the time I got so fed up. Both my parents were at work and I sent them both a message saying when they got home I’d be in short sleeves and that my arms were worse than when they first saw them but that I was doing good and not to worry. Obviously when they first got home they looked but they didn’t say anything my sister didn’t say anything either. Now I comfortably wear them out around the house, and when I’m out too, I tend to be kinda confident some days are easier than others however. Like in some days I’m fine with just a T-shirt but others I’ll take a hoodie or something to cover up if I feel like everyone’s looking at them or I don’t feel great with them out. I wore long sleeves and hoodies for five years and last year being able to wear just T-shirt’s and sit out in the sun and be comfortable and not too warm and sweating all the time was so nice and I’m so happy I told people when I did. ❤️
Lauren Fisher proud of you❣️
Allie Cary thank you so much ❤️❤️
So proud of you darling! Keep being you. ^^
I self harm and my mom knows because I don't lie to her or my brother and sister. I've never shown them. And my brother hasn't seen me in over a year so he don't know I have relapsed in self harm . I have no shame in my self harm I accept it I get told to stop by my friends who love me truly but my best friend in the world died from a drug overdose in 2019 and it hasn't stopped haunting me . I self harm when I can't handle it any more . I have sever anxiety and depression. I've cried over his death and the other 7 people I lost between 2017 and 2019.
that’s amazing, please also be aware that actual cuts not scars can be triggering for others to see in public ✨✨
I’m 17, this is my 6th year I’ve worn long sleeves straight. This helped a lot! X
Same, though I'm 19. Maybe this summer will be our time? (: x
Pls do a video on how you told your parents:) 💖
Rianne Marie decently see needs too
my parents found out when I accidently put my sleeve up in class when the teacher was gone and everyone saw and 6 kids told on me and my teacher had to call my parents so that's how they found out for me
I’m Actually 3 months clean..
I can actually do more
I Hope 🤞
YOU CAN ❤️
marieroseeee ❤️🤞
I’m around 2 months clean! Xx
Sommer Bell You Van Do This ❤️🤗 I Believe You x
You can be so proud!! :D sure you can :)
Your voice sounds so much stronger in this video which is so nice to hear. You sound so much more confident ❤️
a couple of weeks ago I finally showed my dad my scars and you were a massive part of helping me to show him💜
this is _everything_ I needed to hear.
I have worn long sleeves for 4-5 years now, i tried to roll my sleeves up because i was hot, someone came up to me and pulled them down. I haven't showed them to anyone since, if i roll my sleeves up i put my arms under the table so no one sees. This helped a lot, thank you so much💜
i've been covering my scars in public for almost 5 years, even when its 90+ degrees out. almost all of the friends i've made after that time have never seen my scars. i always get shocked and disgusted reactions from people when i do go out with bare arms. its depressing
Thank you for this. I’ve spent the last 2 summers boiling, wearing jumpers all throughout summer :(
Something I've learnt over the past few years - light coloured, cotton and baggy clothes are great for summer! Also, if possible, keep your wrists slightly exposed to the air, keeping your wrists cool can help keep you cool! Sometimes I end up being cooler than people wearing sleeveless tops, dresses without tights etc
Hope this helps!
I would really appreciate it if you made a video about how you told your parents because mine know but I still feel like they don't understand and I want to sit down and properly discuss everything, except I have no idea how to do that
Love From A Stranger sameeeee
Exactly.
Sameee..
Same like I just feeling like they don’t get it
With or with out scars it makes you you everyone is still beautiful x ❤️ x
your makeup is stunning in this video! xx
I love that you start every video with an inspirational quote it always gives me a boost
i have selfharm scars and i am to scared to go out in public and show them. it have been some days that have been hot but i still wear a long sleeve. the hardest thing will be to come to my work with a t-shirt. i work in a kindergarten, so i have no idea what to tell the kids when they ask about my scars.
Say you got attacked by a bear
When my step brothers first moved in they were in kindergarten and they asked about them so I just said it was from me being outdoors
My advice is to tell them “ everyone goes through things, some people get sick or lose their loved ones...but that’s just life. One day maybe you’ll have have a bad day but it’s not gonna last forever. And sometimes people don’t want to talk about types of things... and that’s ok! But I’ve been through something really bad but I got better, but I don’t want to talk about it so let’s talk about something else, wanna play in the sand pit?” ☺️
We really don’t deserve you. You’re always giving us advice about everything. Thank you.
You really are changing the world ❤️you can be so proud of your self.
This makes me feel sad because my parents always tell me to cover them. If I’m in public with them, regardless of its 10.c or 35.c they always tell me to cover them :(
Mine too I don't think they know how much it hurts
im so sorry:( it’s nothing to be ashamed of! this comment was a year ago & im hoping that their views have somehow changed maybe. wishing u all the love, luck, happiness & healing!! x
You never know how hard it is to find a long sleeve shirt until you really need it
I wish I had this video yrs ago. 💗 I'm a mother of 2. And it was my daughter's bday this June. We had her party at a beach. Some of her friends parents stuck around. I had my scars out. My family is well used to it but there were several new people there. And having kids around..who can be blunt with their questions. I wish I had "warned" the parents. Answered questions ahead of time. No one was rude or anything but I personally felt so self conscious. It was way too hot. And I feel too old and far past my self harming days to keep hiding. But I do still. I appreciate this so much. Your channel. You. I found you shortly after my daughter's bday party. I hope you're doing well. I truly do. Xo
thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for posting this as it is exactly what i needed today. thank you for being so open and honest about self harm because that’s fucking difficult. you are so strong always thank you marie!!❤️
Thankyou so much, sending such big hugs your way ❤️
Literally not sure if I’m the only one, I’ve recently started SH again, after a breakdown in my mental health, after years of being clean.
I now couldn’t care less if people look or see my arms hurt now, I think I’m at the point if they have an issue they can leave.
You make my days and my heart feel so much stronger and better. When I’m feeling anxious for no reason and I can’t reroute my own thoughts I like to go for walks and your video was the first in my subscription box today. Thank you
YES! Video on how to tell your parents!
Especially after a relapse - when you have been clean for a long time, and they thought it was over years ago. :)))
it’s summer soon. my family know. but i’m scared of showing them and then doing it again. because they get angry when they find out i’ve started doing it again.
this couldnt have come out at a better time!!!! any advice for prom? x
Edit: I’m in love w my dress and my scars are beginning to heal and fade I’m after tips to just have the confidence to walk around and forget they’re there bcos I get so paranoiddd
My advise would be a bolero
Like a long-sleeved one. IF you want to hide them which is totally ok.
i have my prom this year, and i opted for a long sleeved dress just because i know that i wouldn’t feel comfortable because it is an event based on appearance
but honestly, if you feel comfortable enough to do so, wear your arms out and dont think about other people’s perspectives
my advice if you like a dress WEAR THE FRICKIN DRESS
you can always wear a scarf or bring something just in case :) x
Or they do nice long sleeved dresses that have lacy arms because that’ll look more summery because sometimes I feel it’s just as awkward wearing long sleeves when it’s hot because I get paranoid people know why I’m wearing long sleeves but honestly you don’t need to cover them up if you don’t want to x
There's always makeup
I love your videos!!! Thank you for being so open and for breaking the stigma and for publishing helpful videos. You make my day easier! Also your dress looks great on you!!!
Clicked straight away as soon as it popped up plus super useful x
If its not too personal for you, could you make a video talking about struggeling with mental health and getting into/being in a relationship?
For me the hardest people to were my scars out with was my famly and also can u Make a video with your parents about self harm scars
Edit: so someone could show it to their parents and they could understand better
thank u so much for making this video!! i’m struggling a lot w/ this whole shit thing. i’m so grateful for u n ur honesty w/ us, bc personally it has helped me a lot!
I cant relate to any of this and cant say I know anyone who goes through it but, I am always intrigued by these videos and people that dont suffer from mental health really can learn alot too, it's really surprising the amount of people that do have mental health issues and they shouldn't have to go through any of this.. Its scary because so many people dont open up about these things and obviously it's not easy, I know that but we really need to start doing more about this 💪 and if you have come across this and suffering from mental health issues You Can do this! Remember if you dont feel comfortable telling a parent or a friend there are other people to talk to for help.. You WILL get through this ❤💪
thank you for this video! i really needed it. i’m so proud of you, for being so open about your self harm scars. stay strong 💞
Thanks for helping me. I was so worried about people see and judging me by my scars. Again thank you so much! Love you!!!
“Put a barrier against that shit” - marie 2K19
Love you marie! Another inspiring video
This is really helpful. You seem like a really kind person 💞
please do a video for how you told your parents about self-harm, there reactions etc. thank you and ily x
so grateful to have someone so inspirational on the platform, really needed this x
I’m getting a lot more comfortable wearing short sleeves and shorts out when I’m with my family and friends but I still struggle with wearing short sleeves at work. It’s just such a different situation with different circumstances and I don’t want people assuming my capabilities and skills based on my scars and the stigma around it /:
I cut my stomach, my stomach only. I do it there as im in a swimming club and my swimming costume covers it. A lot of the clothes i own are crop tops, belly tops ext... I would never wear them if i had fresh cuts but im also scared to wear them even with scars. I feel because stomach is a easy place to hide and not everyone wears crop tops in the summer like t shirts, it may seem like im doing it for attention or something but i just find those nice looking clothes or/ and comfy ones. Same goes for bikinis. For swimming training i would still obviously wear a costume but on holiday it would be nice to wear a bikini without attention seeking because i could just wear a costume instead. Atm i just wear my t shirts i own (which is not many compared to crop tops and that). It has been a good few months since wearing a stomach revealing top without a hoodie or something covering it. I dont know..
this helped me again!❤️ one day at my job a guy from the work i work in the kitchen btw saw my arms so he took me away and grabbed my arm and said “are you okay?” it where already scars but it still helps me that he knows and that’s all because i watch your videos thanks💗
Ooo gurllll that lippy suits you so much🤩
thank you! i just teared up (in a good way)
You look so much healthier! And this video is much needed so much😊 we love you ❤️
this was ridiculously helpful and how you told your parents would also be wonderful. U are a beautiful soul, thank u so much x
I love how you used shit as an example🤣🤣 hahah but on a real note, your videos gave me the courage and confidence to be okay with my scars, they’re on my thigh and can’t see some of it but I’m okay if they show now bc I use to be so self conscious abt them and make sure my shorts are covering them 24/7 and when I started not caring, I told my mom abt my scars and I’m not gonna try and hide them all the time and she doesn’t say anything abt them. Your videos have helped me so much and gave me for helpful coping skills. Thank you so much for all you do, you have such a genuine and beautiful soul. Keep doing what you’re doing, I’m really proud of you💛💛
Thank you, just thank you. You are lovely 💜 I am almost 24 and though my scars are white, I still look and think about it, especially in the sun and when they seem super noticeable. The "what ifs" bring me down too, not to mention thinking about my future and worrying if I lapse then. I'm for the most part okay with my body and don't care what others may think, but some days, I still get self-conscious and roll up my sleeves even though others don't say anything.
Thanks for always being you. Take care!
I stumbled across your Channel when I wasn’t in a good place and I know lots of people say this but your channel has really helped me, I’m 14 and in year 9 in secondary school, your account has helped me to open up to people about how I feel, I still have really bad days and times where I still want to die but I always try to think positively, thank you x❤️
You never fail to impress us Marie, you actually incredible! I am so so proud of you. You have helped me and so many other people to become more confident and be honest about how they’re feeling. Love you mannn❤️❤️
thank you! with summer coming up i really need this :)
I am only new to your channel but I have watched several of you videos now and this is honestly some of the best advice I've heard and all of your storytime videos are incredible to find someone who has been through a very similar experience to me and I've never been open enough to talk about it to my friends now who dont know my past sk to put it out in public I honestly think it is amazing x
I struggle with self harm and my scars are so visible. This video is so inspirational and honestly so informational, thank you x
i’m extremely lucky at the moment. i opened up to my best friend about my recent self harm and she opened up having the same experiences. we are helping each other become clean and i am forever grateful for her
I would really like a video about telling your parents, I'm really struggling with how to do that at the moment 💞
I love mental health mondays!! Happy mental health awareness month, I’ll be one month clean on Wednesday😊❤️
That’s is amazing! Keep going ❤️❤️
A shit in the corner of the pool 😂😂🙈🙈 hilarious! Fantastic video, summer sure can suck when we're covered in scars, but this was super helpful ❤xx
I usually choose to be confident and show my scars while I’m planning my outfit at home but I always end up taking some backup jacket with me that eventually never comes off. I wish it wasn’t that way. 🥺Anyway, thanks for the video 🥰
I have scars on my legs and I really want to wear shorts but I'm so afraid of the questions...
Same :(
Luna Celine i have scars on my lower hips n when i go to the pool i was always afraid. when people ask abt them i just walk away or say “it’s none of ur business”. it’s worked so far
Ella Grace there are good water proof foundations online for about $20. They really help me at the pool :)
I have horrible scars on both arms and legs and haven't been able to show them in like 4 years now. I'm in active recovery and am currently a month clean tomorrow which isn't long, but baby steps I guess? Thank you for this. I just found your channel and you are such a lovely human!!
I am soo grateful for this video ❤️❤️ thank you so much for being so open and helping us. And for putting yourself out there so brazen ❤️❤️❤️ and I would love to see a video about the whole situation with your parents...
Thanks for this Marie. This video was so encouraging. I’ve been struggling on this subject and it’s so scary uncovering scars. You never know how people will respond. But your video really helped 💜
Okay girl okay I see you slaying xxxx
you are such a beautiful human being and you have a wonderful soul. You help me a lot and
i hope that you only have good things coming your ways. And hopefully you have a supportive team behind you for when the times get rough
I love you so much Marie ❤️. Honestly all of your help is incredible. Was so happy you posted, literally your getting me through each day. I just watch back at videos. You inspire me xx
I relapsed today after my mom said that I was a piece of sh*t and she hated me. That she wasn’t going to take me anywhere with her ever again and that she wasn’t going to do anything for me anymore. After I helped my sister do her homework for a hour and I wanted to take a break and have her help her for a bit. Apparently “I don’t do anything for anyone and she genuinely hates me.”
Thank you so much Marie, I really needed this, and I'm sure I'm not alone with that🌸
I was so afraid to wear short sleeves. When I went on escorted leave with a hca and another patient, I decided to take a jumper. the hca encouraged me to tell myself “fuck it, I can wear short sleeves”, she gave me the courage to, and I did. I’m so glad she did, even though the entire time I was so scared, I felt so out of place. The patient I was with was informal and she hasn’t struggled with selfharm or anything, so I felt that I was standing out. But the 2 people were so supportive of me, they gave me the strength I couldn’t find myself. Considering that was the first time in public I’ve worn short sleeves, I was glad that I had the constant reassurance when people did take a second look.
Just thought I’d share that☺️
Love you Marie xxxx
Ain't even watched it but it's great ! I love you Marie ❤️❤️
So I(sorta)deal with anorexia and depression so kinda seeing myself skinny helps a bit so during the winter I’ll eat like a pig but the cold distracts me from the point that I’ve gotten fat so yay than during summer I’ll be extremely active running riding my bike till I lose all the weight(that I gained it normally takes all summer) so by the time the last two weeks of summer comes around I’m my desired weight than I enjoy than I repeat once winter comes around I donno it helps me
At the start of the video I could tell you were nervous and I respect that x thank you for this video
What song do you use for your intro?
And throughout the video?
thank you sm for all the advice u always give to everyone, Ik that for me and many others ur channel is such a safe space and u make everyone feel more included! hope your doing well! also I’d love the video on how to tell ur parents💞
I literally just today wore shorts for the first time in like 4 1/2 years. Just on a quick trip to Target but I was really proud of myself. Thankfully no one stared that I noticed or gave any rude comments, not naive enough to believe I won't get them at some point. But yeah. Just thought I'd share a victory for me. :)
Proud of you!
@@clairelovesathena Aww thank you!!
i am not clean yet. I hate looking at my self now, and I have trouble talking about it. Like I dont feel like I can go out and see a therapist and start talking. I CANT EVEN TELL MY OWN FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!
I had been cutting my wrists when summer rolled around, and I needed to wear short sleeves... so I let my wrist scars heal and started cutting my stomach... I'm not proud of my self for it either.
Like everything you just said was absolutely right and reasonable but it just gets me so bad when my mom tells me that only insane people self harm and if you self harm you're not going to be loved like you used to be . She says like "What if someone sees your scars and calls you crazy ? What are you gonna do with that ?".The feeling of being judged and unwanted just because I'm not happy and my life isn't how I wished it to be makes me wanna die and end my life even more . The only thing I want is to be able to walk with t-shirt and shorts in the streets one day without being judged or called out . I didn't care what people thought about my scars but my parents did what the wanted to and they made me feel so inconvenient about my body , the way I look , the way I sound and the things I do . BTW I love you so much and you're my light at the end of the tunnel and you're the reason why I'm still alive :))>3
Yes girl, you’re so right, you give good advice and you’re so so strong! We all gonna make it, it’s okay to show your scars and it’s okay to be not okay, we’ll fight the bad feelings and negative thoughts, life is so much more then that, we’ll get through it. And Mariee, you helped me and other people a lot! Thankyou
The last time I went outside wearing short sleeves I got called a psychopath
I didn't wear short sleeves, in fact, I didn't show any part of my body, for 3 years both outside and inside of my home. My parents hadn't seen my arms for even longer than that. I actually showed my mum my arms for the first time with my therapist and she told the rest of my family to not ask questions or pay attention unless I specifically mentioned them. It was really helpful. I've now had them covered up by tattoos and it makes me so much more confident.
This video was so helpful and inspirational. One question: how do you decide who to tell/prepare? How many people should know? I have quite a few friends who I'm not particularly close with who might see and there are quite a few situations (like school, choir, drama group) where there are a lot of people who could see and if I did decide to show my scars, I don't know which people I should tell. Sorry if this is a bit rambly. I hope it makes sense
Thank you Marie 🙏 This video means so mutch to me💗 it couldn’t ave come in a better time
For anyone who isn’t ready to show their scars and doesn’t want to wear long sleeves, you might want to look into henna. It’s kind of like a semi permanent tattoo that you can draw on your skin with and it actually stains your skin. I did this last summer and I cannot tell you how much it has helped me. It helps camouflage your scars and you can create beautiful designs. Just remember that your scars are part of who you are, and you’re beautiful so how can they be anything less. You’re not alone even if you feel that way all of us are here for you. I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but you are loved.
I'm too afraid to wear shorts bcuz my leg has self harm scars but thank YOU for being brave ✊🏼
Im every picky about what i wear not just for self harm but for my transition as well
Love this video 👍 I showed my arms in front of my friends today and they were absolutely lovely about it , they didn’t say anything and they didn’t really stare , of course I caught them having a look , but I think that’s normal. And my friend kinda sensed that I was really having a bad time atm and we had a great catch on the bus and she told me that she is there and she will always be there for me
Watching this a year later who else xx 2020 sucks btw x
I’ve been a self harmer on and off for three to four years and earlier this year my mum saw the scars on my arm and reacted badly. She believed that they were fresh, however they weren’t but were still going through the healing stages. Since then I have been putting bio-oil on and coconut oil to help them to fade and become less obvious.
Your voice sounds so powerful and it makes me feel so much safer and calmer ❤️
I am really unshore about showing my arms because I can still see them and it just gets me everytime...
But i still am staying strong and so should u guys love ya❤💪
This literally helped me so much. Thanks you Marie. I love you so much! ❤️❤️
I love this video ❤️ it is so helpful x this definitely helped me in so many ways. Omg your such an inspiration and I love youuuuu so much 😍 can you do the video on how you told your parents about your self harm and how they reacted and what they did? X that would also be such a help. Also could you do a video on friends and self harm, like how to tell them and make them understand self harm without making them feel triggered or anything. Love you so much and supporting you all the way xx
Is there a cream or foundation that is especially for hiding scars that comes in different shades?
Pana po’o you can get camouflage cream :)
Vitamin E lotion works too!
I’m going on holiday and I’m really worried because a lot of the people I’m going with haven’t seen them and it will be short sleeves everyday 😬
A few years ago and I told my mom I was self harming, she screamed at me, told me how selfish I was, took my phone away and grounded me from it and any form of fun or anything social for six months, after that she just stayed angry at me and kept calling me selfish and attention seeking