Last week while at the grocery store, I noticed a woman in a dress and cute shoes pushing her cart. She wasn’t overdressed or too fancy, she just looked-as you often say-“stylish" and “presentable". So, this week, when I went to Costco, I wore what I jokingly call my housedress (it’s a vintage style dress with a cute print and A-line skirt that makes me think of housewives from the 50s). Do you know that I received THREE separate compliments: “What a lovely dress” from an older woman, “Where did you get your dress” from the receipt checker at the door, and “I love your dress” from someone passing by. I didn’t style my hair or wear makeup, I just wore a traditional dress with ballet flats, but it made such a difference. It kind of blew my mind.
I noticed the same thing! I got some nice flowy skirts that I pair with sandals/ballet flats and cute cotton shirts that have some lace/crocheted details, a nicer neckline, or some slightly ruffled sleeves. Just a more elevated and nicer looking casual top instead of a plain T shirt. It's amazing how many compliments I get with such a simple outfit. Plus, I'm so comfortable. What's more comfortable than a soft flowy skirt?
Yes! I agree with you. I still sometimes dress more casually when I leave the house, but I still make some effort to fix my hair in a nice style and put some jewelry on. Even trading in the "messy" bun for a more ballerina style bun or using a nice hair clip or ribbon to dress up a more casual hairstyle makes a big difference. It's the details that take us from looking sloppy to appropriately casual lol
I've noticed that whenever I take the time to do my hair and dress nicely (even just to go run errands) I never regret it. People treat you differently and with more respect since you obviously respect yourself.
When my mother moved to an assisted living unit, her dementia soon caused her to need more personal care. I always made sure she looked cute and put together. I actually put outfits together on hangers so the workers would know how to dress her. I really do believe she received better care because of this and felt so much better about herself because of the way she was treated.
I get so many compliments on how put together I always look. You don't need to have wealth to look nice and put together. I have always dressed nicely. Even when I wear a pair of jeans. I have never gone to a store in sweats and a t-shirt. That is reserved for the gym! Love your channel
I think you are also addressing self discipline. That seems to be a character trait we don’t hear much anymore but is so valuable. Appreciate your work Jennifer.
I've heard a great sentence lately. A woman was asked how she did it she looked polished and elegant everyday. She responded, that she had better and worse days, as everybody, but she always stayed disciplined, because in the end "discipline gave her freedom". She didn't have to struggle all the time to become her better self and regret that so much time passed and nothing changed, because thanks to discipline she could live her life the way she wanted.
@@etta0840 Yes! It struck me, because for me discipline was something rather "unpleasant", the kind of "I must" instead of "I choose". I'm so glad I've come across this statement. It turned my point of view upside down!
I think you’re right and I appreciate your bravery in talking about weight. So often now if someone mentions “this habit might help with weight loss” the fangs come out in people! It’s like you can’t even discuss weight loss on social media without being accused of shaming (or even told you’re shaming your own self!) I’ve found this difficult as I desire and need to lose weight, but it seems like everyone is constantly saying “no you’re fine, it’s all good!” Insulin resistance is NOT all good, friends! I love that you broach the subject in this video (and others) in a reasonable way. Thanks, Jennifer!
I’ve been putting off making a TH-cam channel because I want to talk about my experiences with insulin resistance and hormone imbalance due to being overweight, but we live in a body positivity culture where “big bodies are healthy bodies” 😫🙄
I went over cultural shock when I came to live in US in 2005… people in pajamas in the stores, sweatpants everywhere and paper plates when you’re invited over… and it’s not getting any better. Great video. “Be the change you wish to see in the world”
The style today is crazy in my opinion. Mixing sweatpants with nicer tops, and wearing heels with sweatpants. I don't get it?? I'm 27 BTW, and feel like I don't belong in this generation. 😆
Thug life 🤣, just kidding, that’s me i’m always in my work out clothes, and my mentality is i’m a women who takes care of her body and eats healthy. It’s not necessarily my identity but that helps in self esteem. I get dressed up maybe twice a week, because i’m thin and i’m always cold and i live in sweaters. 😬😬🤷🏻♀️
@@YarelySilvas You may not have thought of this--always being cold is a symptom of hypothyroidism. I didn't know why I always had on more layers than anyone else, until I learned my thyroid levels were low.
@@YarelySilvas .... I also get cold easily, always have . I was born Anemic, took shots for that throughout my childhood. I am always cold, lol. Perhaps it's relevant to you (?) I also need socks on , even at home ,with slippers. Lol. I dress as nicely as possible, except if I'm painting or working with certain cleaners. ( protecting my good clothing) .
In the warmer months here in New England, I like to wear long maxi skirts, or a long maxi dress with sandals. Last summer walking into the grocery store, an older gentleman said to me as he walked past, "wow, a real lady, in a world that doesn't often see one." I smiled and said, "Thank you." It really is sad to receive such comments from people, but also really nice and made me feel happy and confident. 😊
All of your tips are on point! Also, the benefits I have experienced when following these tips is: 1. People treat me respectfully. 2. It gives me a healthy feeling about who I am. 3. I tend to get better deals when negotiating. 4. Those around me seem more calm around me and maybe it’s because I feel good and confident so, in return they feel my peace. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Can we take a moment to appreciate the footage that Jennifer went to lengths to provide of her sitting on the couch with her hair in a messy bun, rummaging through a CheezIts box while wearing stretchy athleisure and bingwatching TV?
Jennifer - I have shared your books with my daughter-in-law. In fact, during a road trip recently, my DIL, son and our 4 grandsons (ages 13-7) listened to your books. Upon returning home, they all straightened out their dresser drawers and got rid of some of their clothing and they cleaned up clutter. :) Thanks for being another good influence in our lives!
Throughout the pandemic, I have worn formal work clothes and makeup every work day, so that I would appear professional during my virtual meetings (including nice pants, because I would occasionally need to get up to go get something during a meeting and people would see my pants!). Also, the formal clothes gave a clear message to my family, who was also at home: “Mom is working right now - don’t bother her!”
You're on to something. I watched a video with my son made by a young music producer who worked from home. He said he couldn't settle down to work without dressing for the day, including shoes and socks : )
Being a homemaker I’ve adopted the Fly Lady morning routine which includes dressing to shoes 👟. I little bit of make up and a sprtitze of perfume gets me started for the day. Now, it’s just a happy habit.
Wonderful topic and all are so true! Several years ago a new mother in our neighborhood mentioned she felt she needed parenting classes to raise her child properly. I was a Montessori preschool teacher at the time. I told her to save her money and teach her child good manners and her child would be light years ahead of the majority of her peers. Manners have been lost by most of society. The children with good manners performed so much better in the classroom and playground. Sadly, very few of our students had been taught good manners and we were a school that catered to very wealthy families. Class is learned and earned not bought.
Preach. When my family comes to stay for a weekend their feathers are ruffled because I expect all dining to be done at the dining table. I haven’t always been that way, I changed about three years ago when I realized how much mindless eating I did when reading a book, doing a crossword puzzle, or even watching TV (when I used to own a TV). I made the decision that food would no longer be a primary source of entertainment, unless I was entertaining others. At first it was difficult I would think I was hungry and I’d grab some chips or a cookie and then I would sit at the dining room table to eat it. I couldn’t even stand in the kitchen by the island… I had to go sit at the dining room table… And I soon learned that I did a lot of boredom eating. Do I still snack yes but it’s very rare when it occurs. Now let’s talk about clothing especially comfortable clothing like yoga pants. THEY LIE TO YOU!!! Unless you work out regularly and watch what you eat as in eat healthy… If you wear yoga pants or stretchy clothes day in and out you won’t notice your weight gain… Because these clothes are made to stretch with your weight gain. And then you go to buy some new yoga pants and you’re totally floored that you need to go up a size or two. Solution wear yoga pants and your comfy clothes when it’s appropriate, You know at the gym, at bedtime, doing yardwork and so forth. Your video today so resonated with me… Thank you Jennifer!
I am eating my yogurt breakfast while watching/listening to you while I work remote, lol In my defense, I am fully dressed in more casual office attire, hair done, full make up and jewelry, as I have every work day for the past 2 years. Lipstick always!! We dine with a tablecloth every night, fresh flowers and decent meals. My friends all say " you eat fancy" or "you shop at the rich lady store". I like my life and so does my husband. It takes very little effort to live graciously and with purpose. I am tired of crude language, sweat pants and slippers in public...I actually saw a lady in her matching top and bottom flannel pajamas!!! Sad that it is ok to have a "messy hair, dont care" attitude. Thank you for your content!
"You eat fancy" gosh I'm no stranger to hearing that.🤣 You can tell the standards are low when people think their own behaviors of being sloppy, careless, and having lil self control is considered "normal and good" but living a comfortable/formal daily lifestyle is something that seriously raises an eyebrow. 😂
Such great points! My son is 12, and he has always loved to dress up and hold the door for others. We read your book together, and he loved it. He homeschools, so he is always with me when I go to the grocery store. He always tries to beat the cashier to saying, “Have a great day” and he always looks to see if there is an elderly person parked near us who needs help loading their groceries. I get compliments about what a gentleman he is every time we go out. It’s sad to see that the cashiers are so surprised that a young person is polite to them. He has always been interested in dressing well (he loves polo shirts and khaki shorts) and learning about manners, so he has really put your advice into practice. I can’t thank you enough!
I have a severe needs special needs child and it’s a very good thing nobody here can see me right now but we do our best with these things. Sometimes I admit I am sloppier than I should be but my son is very aggressive and sometimes a baggy sweatshirt is the only thing that covers scratches and bruises and my son is learning to tolerate certain fabrics and use silverware. An organized home is essential for us so we do well with that and we dress up nicely for church every week even though everyone else around us is in hoodies and T shirts. I agree with the channel surfing stuff and being aware of your behavior and habits when it comes to entertainment and eating. Society has definitely gone from casual to sloppy and I have been reminded that life is so short so I no longer save our fancy dishes, etc. for special occasions because every day is a blessing and a special occasion 😊💜 I often wonder if my son and other people like him would function better and learn faster with a more formal, well mannered society…just a thought…but of course more education and acceptance needs to be taught too. Speaking of manners when you meet someone with a disability say hello and don’t stare and please teach your children to do the same. Staring at people is definitely not chic!
@juliebarnard Bless you Julie!. I too have a son with special needs. Not so severe but it's challenging all the same. I have tried to teach him how important it is to take care of his personal appearance and hygiene. He seems to get it and takes pride in looking good. He even complements me when I dress up. I've substituted the great big sweat shirts for nice cashmere sweaters. (Thrifted). And I wear nice fitting jeans or trousers. I am a pro at thrifting! CHEERS!
How you are dressed shows respect for yourself, but more importantly it shows respect for anyone you encounter. Similarly, I want my home to be attractive and comfortable for myself, but also for my guests. We can easily make a positive impact if we make the effort to be intentional. Thank you so much for your enjoyable programs.
I don't like binge watching shows, or channel surfing. I usually tell myself that when I do watch something i limit how many episodes I watch at a time. I have gotten into watching foreign content, so I decided to choose Italian ones to mirror me learning it online. I slow episodes down to pick up on phrases, or listen to the inflection of the spoken words. It usually takes me an entire week to watch one episode a week. It actually helped me pick up on a lot culture of Italy by doing this because I see a lot more in the episode than I realized was there.
This is such fabulous insight and advice I choose to follow. My mother was very elegant and always looked her best. She would say, “ Elle, you never know who you might run in to, even going to get the mail”. It is rewarding living your best life! ⭐️
I was already upgrading my life, but you are inspiring me to put more effort into it. I have started using the nice things and burning those special candles. It is a shame to see so many who die and have not enjoyed many of the things they saved for a special occasion. Manners, eating and drinking well from nice tableware, and dressing nicely are fading quickly. It is our own fault if we don't think we are important enough to do these things. I always take the time to plate my food in a pleasing manner and though I will not dress up many days as I am doing gardening or working on projects that would potentially ruin anything I am wearing you have inspired me to do it more often. I'm worth the extra effort and so is everyone else.
Such an important topic, thank you Jennifer. A reminder that life is a gift each day and what better way to offer our thanks than to live it beautifully, being the best version of ourselves God intended for each of us.
What a balm for the soul your videos are, Jennifer! I'm a teacher of teens/young adults, and you inspire me to model formal behaviour with them. Thank you from Cambridge UK! 💖
What a nice surprise to find your channel,Thank You! I subscribed right away. I have found other benefits, too. When we are more formal, the coarse seems to slip away naturally and other more formal people and situations naturally take their place over the years. The items you mentioned have literally saved my life, as I was raised in a "casual" atmosphere and had to work my way out of that. It took many years and hard work. Now, not only am I living a formal and structured lifestyle, but I also retired from the workforce at 47. I now work in my home office managing my rental properties. My husband thinks it is darling that I get ready for work every day with a proper outfit and makeup to go into my home office! None of this would have been possible had I not started young on simply having impeccable manners, which then led to everything else. Thank You for your program, the World needs more of this!
Very inspiring tips, Jennifer. I grew up with a few wealthy, well-mannered relatives in England. Oh! The culture shock when this rural Canadian would visit this family! Elbows at my side. Fork turned over. Small, slow bites. Napkin in my lap. Lots of "pleases" and "thank yous" and calm conversation. I try to imagine I'm sitting with these aunties and uncles now, when I eat. It is a radically different experience when I do. For those who don't have such memories, take a close look at how members of the Royal family eat on The Crown. For those who are on a tight clothing budget, the number 1 way I upgrade my outfits is to iron (or steam) almost everything. Yes, I iron my jeans.♥️🇨🇦
It’s astonishing to me how few people iron anymore! I only have a certain brand of Irons I will buy because so many are made junky because people hardly use them. I even iron my undershirts.
I personally appreciate this video. This is the stage of life I am at, deciding who I want to be and how I want to live. However, I can't help but think of the many people I interact with through my work who are not as fortunate as I am to have the headspace and support to make these intentions into realities. I totally agree that all those "soccer moms" going out with their yoga pants and a messy bun could probably learn a lot from the concept of living formal, but I'm talking about those who come from generations of poverty, who maybe struggle just to pay the bills from month to month. We all need to be gracious and accepting of these individuals, even when they are wearing their pajamas to the store and their children have no manners, because even if they could somehow learn that they should live more formally, they may mentally be in survivor mode and literally cannot shift their mindset. Not to say that all of those living in poverty do not live in some of the more formal ways, but just that any type of poverty (social, emotional, financial, etc) create an extra hindrance from focusing on the "finer" things of life I have noticed a rise, since the pandemic, in individuals who fall into this category and it is tragic. But I'm going to keep loving and showing value to everyone, rather than holding them to the standards I am seeking to cultivate for myself. I am realizing, as I explore more about how I want to live intentionally, that I cannot neglect the internal need for humility and compassion while upholding the outward tenets of a formal lifestyle. Even though I agree with this video, just wanted to share my thoughts in case the information can help someone else.
Oh exactly it is cultural! But here in the states we have a culture often connected with that poverty. Like I was saying, generations of feeling helpless to get out of poverty perpetuates the cycle. It didn’t USED to be this way. The poor still had a sense of pride and dignity. And I think that’s what is present in cultures like the one you describe, which sets apart those who are physically poor but emotionally stable. I work with a variety of low-income/impoverished individuals and families. And it is just SO clear that the solution is much more complicated than just “live better.” My goal is to non-condescendingly set an example while intentionally showing unending compassion and support for these families. Simple mental shifts, like caring about how you dress and taking care of yourself is a HUGE step in the right direction. But it’s a step that people have to be prepared to make on their own, without feeling forced/looked-down-on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts/experience! It’s SO true that there are some pretty incredible people living in poverty around the world. To have so little but humbly manage it all so well, with dignity and grace is admirable!
@@grt764 Thank you. I try to be level-headed and clear with my comments, which means... overthinking and taking an excessive amount of time typing things up. But I genuinely desire to help stimulate people's thinking about subjects that aren't simply black and white. Kind regards!
Thank you for your comment. I live in a small town and had gotten to a point where I started complaining excessively about how uncaring people were dressing these days while out. Then it occurred to me that I was really upset because I wasn't being inspired to keep my own appearance up. So a voice whispered to me: be your own inspiration, stop depending on others to inspire you to express your best. And that I don't know what's going on in their lives and to just be grateful that my desire and intention is strong enough to not give up on myself. That was a game changer for me. Now I just do what I do and let others do what they do.
When I saw the picture of you eating Cheetos informally I laughed so hard. Because that's me! 66 years old. All the kids are grown and gone. I'm still working. I come home and eat my Cheetos and go on social media. You're helpful even for Grandma's.
I'm half smiling as I watch, Jennifer. On Saturday evening I set the dining table for Sunday lunch. But my husband wanted to go to a restaurant for lunch on Sunday. Something else happened Monday, I can't now remember what. Then Tuesday, Wednesday... it's Thursday and the table is still set. I'm not sure we'll get to it today either, with a funeral this late morning. Even with the best of intentions, life sometimes gets in the way. But I have promised myself to eat a meal at that table sometime soon. I may have to dust it first, lol.
all you say is very true ...sometimes I watch old videos on youtube from around 1910 or so and I see how elegant people were in that times...people nowadays have forgotten how to dress and do their hair 🤩
You brought up so many good points. One thing I had to overcome was the fear of "standing out." I don't like a lot of attention on me, so I was dressing more casually than I wanted to just to blend in better. I finally got over it and bought clothes that really express my own personal style. Very feminine and a tad on the whimsical side because that suits my personality. And it makes a huge difference. And yes, I do get more attention than I used to, but it's really positive and nice. People smile at me more, and I feel more confident, too. One thing I really need to work on is manners. I'm a stickler for please, thank you, and excuse me. I have that side covered, but my table manners could definitely use some work. I just wasn't raised to sit up straight and keep elbows off the table during our family meals. We were always more casual and relaxed, but it is definitely something I would like to work on :)
What you describe as formal is actually the casual way of living in many countries around the world. It’s the way we are raised and it’s the way we enjoy life.
I love the reminder that the more we do something, they more accustomed and comfortable we get to it. You spoke in terms of style. This principle applies to all aspect of life.
You're right that we have all become more casual since the pandemic started. Thank you for bringing these points out. We always ate at the table and now we don't since my son left for college last fall. That's changing immediately! BTW this is the first time my husband watched a post with me and he said', "she's very classy." 🙂
Agree. There is a time and place to be casual, like a picnic. I was raised to come to breakfast and dinner presentable. We sat at the dinner table with a napkin and hand in our lap; no elbows on the table. We properly excused ourselves when finished. I have gotten too casual; so this video is a good reminder. Thank you for your encouragement to remember to be proper.
I spent years in scrubs at work or sweats/pjs at home---gained 40+ pounds and didn't notice my clothes no longer fit because I seldom got dressed! Then, when I had to dress for an occasion, it was panic and I often wore outfits I didn't feel great about. I recently lost the weight, started a spring/summer 10 piece capsule wardrobe--and I will try your advice today, as everything else has been SO helpful! I'm 62 and happy to learn -- to dress better and to develop healthier habits for life! Thanks for your work, Jennifer-- -it has helped more than I can say! You are a unique, valuable voice, and I appreciate your lessons! Sharon Y.
Yes, the Sebastian airport skit!!! “You see the world…..and the world SEES YOU!” You know, one’s wardrobe is like grammar. Choosing to text shorthand with little or no regard to punctuation, capitalization, or the use of complete sentences says, “I couldn’t care less.” (Going to store in PJs) But when your sentences are fully formed, thoughtful, and considered, it says, “I do care.” (Dressing each day like an adult).
I've been brought up on most of these principles, and now that I have my own home, I try to stick to them as much as possible. I love the idea of intentional living, even though my style is more casual then yours by choice. The first important bit of furniture I insisted on was a dining table, and I will never regret that choice even though it takes up a lot of space in a small house. I can't stand wearing leggins so will always be in jeans or skirts, and my most comfortable pair of trousers for lounging is fancy super soft work wear. My parents have actually gotten a lot slopier since getting older, whereas I have decided that after my casual 20's, a little bit more discipline and order would be a good idea. Great video, I'll be looking for more!
Wow, Jennifer, bringing formality to the daily life does help in all these ways! We are using cloth napkins, cloth paper towels and handkerchiefs exclusively to stretch our grocery budget and it makes us more mindful of being wise stewards of our money and the earth. Thanks for bringing this topic full circle. All the best, Julie 🌷
I have wanted to live this way my entire life and now I am a 63-year-old widow. A few years ago my late husband and I went through some unfortunate circumstances and then he passed away. I live alone now but I still have this inner yearning to live a more formal lifestyle. I have a couple of disabilities so I tend to have one TV in my bedroom and I sit in bed and eat at night. I know that’s horrible. My biggest problem is finding clothing because I live in a really small rural community and I’m horribly overweight. Every point you made makes so much sense. I am pretty good about taking care of myself intellectually. I listen to historical podcasts and sermons daily. I don’t watch as much TV as I once did. Thank you for the gentle reminder and motivation that it’s not too late for me to get my act together again. To love and respect myself and then do so I respect others.
Hello kindred spirit. I wish I were smaller so I could wear some styles I've always admired, e.g., Margaret Anderson of Father Knows Best; June Cleaver😂. Love those button down shirt dresses with the three quarter sleeves. I wish I could sew.
I’m catching up on your videos 😁Oh wow, this one was an eyeopener! I never thought there were connections between casual living with weight gain, sloppiness, mindlessness, bad manners, and clutter. Thanks Jennifer!
Happy I found your channel. I wish they had you in schools doing lectures to young children as well as high school and college. This really should be taught in schools today. Class, taste, and good manners need to be restored in society
Every time a watch your videos, I am inspired to do more of what I’m already trying to do- and that’s because I read your Madame Chic book a few years ago! And yes, more if this content, please! 😊
As someone who has decided that I am done with a “ casual lifestyle”, I feel you made many amazing points in this videos. But, here is the problem, where do I even start in trying to live a more formal lifestyle? Everything in my life, from clothing to furniture, is so very casual. It is almost the American way. Could you please create a video on how to become more formal in a step by step manor? Thank you.
I have watched alot of videos on that , you need some staples you can mix in match & a couple mice jeans. I think she's done a video on that :) sorry I don't know how she titled it.
I struggle here too. I live right by the beach so it’s a super casual lifestyle. Also it’s very easy to throw on yoga pants like everyone else and go walk my dog everyday.
I remember going on a mission trip in my early 20s and everyone told me to dress down so I would be more relatable to the people we would be serving. I had nothing to dress down (and no money to buy dress-down clothes - my clothes were a few years old but well kept). Actually, it didn’t matter. I was dressed stylishly and had fantastic rapport with children and adults alike - because I was “just” me. It probably would not have worked out that well if I had tried to be someone else by dressing like everyone else. This way, they saw my heart, as my outer appearance was an extension of who I am inside.
Love your content. I’ve only just come across it a few days ago because I do intermittent fasting. Everything you say in today’s video reminds me of my dad. He had all those 5 qualities. So I will now try to follow them too. Thank you for reminding me xx
Hi Jennifer... Thank you, I haven't watched your videos in a while, glad to be back! The past 2 years have been a bit of a blur, but I think it was a Wake-Up call that nothing in our lives get better "magically"... Living Life well, is an Art, let's make it a Masterpiece!!
I live in a hot country and I’ve noticed a trend towards women wearing flowy cotton or linen dresses and pretty sandals and moving away from athliesure which looks so much nicer and is still comfortable in the heat.
Thank you! I am on board with this. My goal this week is to have a pretty table. We aren't overly casual, but I think it will be good to become more formal and intentional. I am very excited!
I just love this concept Jennifer! Again with the amazing content. The concept of a “formal” life is just perfectly inspiring because then everything else just falls under it - manners, style, elegance, etiquette. I’ll be using this one!
I am watching this on a rainy day and I have broken each rule..lol. Sitting on the couch, watching old disney movies with the kids, baking and yes, I am in my pj's. I can say, though, that this isn't the norm for us. I am now looking forward to tomorrow and showing up for my day!
Love your sense of humor! The box of cheese-its and the messy bun 😂 currently working on the clutter-free environment for my home. Thanks for keeping me inspired!
Great reminders! My husband and I have such a bad habit of eating dinner while watching a show after the kids go to bed. I’ve realized how detrimental that is to our overall health! It’s been on my mind that we need to break that habit.
About a year ago I acquired a formal tea set. Whenever I have time and leisure, I drink with friends or for myself from these beautiful, delicate cups. The odd thing is, alongside the beauty of the set, it is the more formal, less practical, that makes it a particular joy to use. You have to carefully pour the tea from the teapot and take the cup carefully with the saucer, you can only do that with mindfulness, maybe that's the secret of this pleasure?
I love all of your videos, but this one is wonderful and very timely. I have always been complimented on my stylish, dressy attire....until I went through a stage of depression; the pandemic immediately followed; and I began working from home. Sadly, I have gained weight: an embarrassing thirty pounds and my stylish clothes are becoming too small. Children notice how their parents conduct themselves because on days I do take the initiative to dress more "myself "; wear make-up; and skip the ponytail, my children tell me how pretty I look! I always make sure they look their best, so I am slowly making my way back to me. With your help, I am implementing intermittent fasting and have set the table more formally. I had already decluttered thanks to Dawn, Cas, and Dana, and Jennifer, you are on that list of my favorites with those incredible ladies reminding me to "Keep it classy." Thank you!
I love this! I love watching shows like The Guilded age because it was so proper and formal back in the 1800s. My grandparents never dressed down, not even for the grocery store. It's amazing how good you feel when you are put together even though it takes more effort it's so worth it.
Yes! Expand on all of those! #3 is big for me. We cut cable/ satellite, best decision ever! Now I only watch TH-cam videos or podcasts that teach, encourage, and edify my life.... like your channel!
Loved, loved, loved this talk Jennifer! Portion control would also be easier during a more formal dining style. Please never stop these inspirational videos! Thank you!
Thank you Jennifer, would you do a video (or several) on table-setting? I'd like to know your thoughts on table linen, runners and placemats, when to use them and when they're not necessary. What would you consider essential for someone just moving into their own home? And your thoughts on styles, monograms and embroidery. That was a lovely reminder. Even in the past, it's very rare that I spend a day in my pyjamas, I've always gotten dressed every day, even if I'm staying in the house. In the past couple of years, I've moved away from wearing jeans, I'm getting really bored of them and denim isn't the best textile to wear, I've been wearing more skirts and dresses, and I have quite a few wool skirts for the winter, which are warmer than any trousers I own. In the past few weeks, I've been reincorporating makeup into my routine, especially when I'm going somewhere. I've always liked makeup, and I've been lazy about it. I really like Shelbey Wilson's makeup style and techniques, it's fresh and simple, and I'm gradually getting the hang of it and doing it faster.
I have never thought about how a casual lifestyle encourages bad eating behavior!! Please do make another video about that!! I'm so much older than you but I remember in the 50s, my mother always left the home to go to town with gloves and her hat. Great points!! I love your videos, Jennifer, and have read all your books many times. I've always been curious....does your French family know about your writings? Have you been in contact with them since leaving France?
I love that you talk about how comfort is what you get used to. I wouldn't feel comfortable in public in leggings! It's not about the the elasticity of material, it's about what you get used to.
What a very On Pointe topic! I am 50 and I often say that society as a whole has no manners any more. I was raised by my grandparents who were very formal people. Which has helped me with who I am as a person and even helped me with my housekeeping. Please continue speaking on this very important topic. And yes, I find that I too have adopted a sloppier lifestyle then I grew up with so thank you for the wake up call!
I could listen to you talk on this subject for hours. I don’t have hours, so thank you for the short and to the point videos. I hope you film some more of them on this topic.😊
I'm new on your channel. I found it after starting to read one of your books. Your message is what I have been looking for years now. It is true inspiration❣️ I also have a story: A few years ago I went to Venice on a day trip with a friend. It was a rainy day, so we didn't see too much of the city itself but we decided to sit in bars and watch the people and chat. In one of the bars there was an elderly woman who will stay in my mind forever. She was about 70 years old, but her simple style was fascinating. The way she dressed and spoke was charming. She was so simply elegant but still I couldn't take my eyes off her. I didn't want to star at her and scare her, but her style was outstanding. My initial thought was 'I want to be like this when I am older'. Such a role model is important for me because in my country it is not typical of elderly women to go out, to dress up or put on make-up etc.
I so enjoy watching your videos! And, yes, you’re never too old to learn. I recently celebrated my 70th birthday, and watching you and other Young TH-camrs keeps me feeling young! 🤣 I have all three of your Madam Chic books and have learned and put into practice many of the things you talk about. I am thinking about getting the Connoisseur Kids to read to my granddaughter. Thank you for keeping me feeling young ♥️
@@gailtester8749me, too! I wish TH-cam had been around when I was raising my daughters! There are things I would have differently, I think. But I’m sure glad Facebook wasn’t around when I was a teen!😂 I’d hate for all the stupid things I did to be documented! 😂🤣😂🤣
I think the first pre-step for any of this is a pretty posture bra. I really do. Then, the pretty lace blouse and cami. Then, set the table. And so forth.
I have been wearing dresses almost everyday for like two years and you feel so much more presentable when you do that. In winter I wear them with leggings and sometimes I wear leggings and a nice shirt with a cardigan.
Same here, I love wearing dresses. I wore a pair Bermuda shorts out this summer and it felt a little weird. In the winter I wear dresses with tights. I bought a pair of OTK boots to wear with my dresses (hemmed slightly above the knees or a few inches below) but the dress hem gets caught in the gap at the top of the boots when walking. I don't want to shorten the dresses. I should have gotten the boots that tie at the top. I love these boots and if anyone have any suggestions about making this work please let me know. Thanks!
Beautiful video Jennifer ❤️ as a Muslim I too believe that the little time we have on this earth is so precious and we have to do our best to live out our lives in the best possible way…the best manners, conduct, etc. This was a great reminder for me thank you.
Love love love! ❤️ Thank you for sharing! ❤️ I have used table linens and place settings throughout my adult life. New friends are always shocked and sometimes taken aback when they see the table set for dinner. The world has developed a “drive-thru” mentality! I adore the gentility that beautiful things bring to every day life!
I didn’t own a pair of sweatpants until a couple years ago. I had some spine & nerve issues which caused excruciating pain and putting on clothes was very hard so I needed something to be able to slip on. It was also during winter and it gets very cold here otherwise a dress would have been ideal. I was so happy when I could wear my normal clothes again ☺️
Awesome video! I live in Florida in a medium to higher income retirement community. Just a day ago I was thinking how casual everybody has become. I look at women with a relatively good income and they go out disheveled, wearing leggings and flip flops all the time. I understand the weather is hot, but really, they can make a simple effort. Not to say I’m perfect all the time, but this video wants me to up my game. Thank you!
We just bought a home in a retirement community in SWFL, and I can't believe how "casual" it is. I am really trying to figure out how to dress down there. It's kind of depressing to see everyone dressed down all the time, no matter the event. I am from Ohio and it is surprising to me how different the lifestyle is.
I love this video! I’ve adopted many things mentioned in your Madame Chic books, and my family has responded well to them. My 6 year old son especially loves finer dining and looks forward to our “feasts” every Sunday. I would definitely like to see a video on making everyday meals more formal so that we can have the feast experience daily.
Thank you so much for your tips, trick, and reminders. I've not only started noticing the way others dress, but when I see someone dressed for their day I comment with a compliment. It's my way of spreading sunshine, and kindness, in what can often be a dark and dreary world, so thank you for encouraging this. This past Saturday my husband and I, along with a friend, went to see the new Downton Abby movie. My biggest take from the movie was the actress portraying the actress in the movie being shot at Downton Abby and her table manners at dinner. I gasped (loudly) and commented (yes, a bit to loud for the theatre) she has her elbows on the table. We teach our children to practice the things that are important in life, from manners to math and reading, yet when we become adults we slack off and find ourselves needing to "Polish Our Poise", if I may. I may not be quite ready for tea with the Queen, but thanks to your videos and books, I am consistently polishing my poise, and brushing up on things that need brushing up, like my theatre manners... Blessings!
Dearest Jennifer, I host ladies lunches and teas often and I am looking forward to more videos on elevating your dining and formal living experiencees. Thank you for being the most elegant lady I know and an amazing inspiration! Blessings. ,,,,🌹
Thank you for these videos, Jennifer! I’ve read all of your books, and I’m rereading “At Home with Madame Chic” now that I’m no longer working. I’ve been watching your videos and joined the Chic Society over a year ago, and I love how much my home life has improved. I have a wonderful husband, but your tips really elevate the way we live each day!
I wholeheartedly agree with everything mentioned in this video. When you live INTENTIONALLY you do everything with intention. I am the only female at our business and I hear the men mention how "frumpy" women have gotten with how they present themselves to the world. I know it's not only women, but since hearing this comment it really awakened in me the desire to be more mindful with my attire. I get treated with much more respect because of it. Thank you Jennifer! 🌺
I love the formal life! I introduced tea time recently to discourage my son from constant snacking during the day. It keeps a good pace on the day and it makes you more aware of what you are eating. I enjoy a little piece of cake or toast with my tea so much more this way. I've also introduced intermittent fasting and lost those pesky 10 lbs. That I hated, thanks to You. Sitting at the table for dinner has always been a prefference for me. I got rid of cable and television a long time ago so there's only intentional watching now. We can use our computers for that.
I totally agree with all your points! My style has always been more formal than the norm, so it comes a little more naturally to me. I think a sixth point is that it makes you more confident!
That is a great video, Jennifer. You are spot on with every single thing you say here. I noticed myself nodding along for the entire 14 minutes. I am guilty of dressing much too casually since the pandemic started and I stopped going to the office every day. Great reminder to get back on track. Very well done, thank you!
Last week while at the grocery store, I noticed a woman in a dress and cute shoes pushing her cart. She wasn’t overdressed or too fancy, she just looked-as you often say-“stylish" and “presentable". So, this week, when I went to Costco, I wore what I jokingly call my housedress (it’s a vintage style dress with a cute print and A-line skirt that makes me think of housewives from the 50s). Do you know that I received THREE separate compliments: “What a lovely dress” from an older woman, “Where did you get your dress” from the receipt checker at the door, and “I love your dress” from someone passing by. I didn’t style my hair or wear makeup, I just wore a traditional dress with ballet flats, but it made such a difference. It kind of blew my mind.
I’ve been trying to find vintage style dresses, where did you find it? 👗
I noticed the same thing! I got some nice flowy skirts that I pair with sandals/ballet flats and cute cotton shirts that have some lace/crocheted details, a nicer neckline, or some slightly ruffled sleeves. Just a more elevated and nicer looking casual top instead of a plain T shirt. It's amazing how many compliments I get with such a simple outfit. Plus, I'm so comfortable. What's more comfortable than a soft flowy skirt?
I love this!
I would love to know where you got your dress!
Kim, do you mind sharing where you got your dress? Several of us have been looking for that style, it is hard to find!
It seems as if we've slipped from casual into sloppiness. This video is a wake up call. Thank you
Yes! I agree with you. I still sometimes dress more casually when I leave the house, but I still make some effort to fix my hair in a nice style and put some jewelry on. Even trading in the "messy" bun for a more ballerina style bun or using a nice hair clip or ribbon to dress up a more casual hairstyle makes a big difference. It's the details that take us from looking sloppy to appropriately casual lol
Yes. Very much. I’ve seen people in stores in their swimwear…in winter…I’m still baffled.
Even too sloppy in our churches and synagogues
Jeans with holes oh vey!!
Casual may have led to sloppiness..and obesity in the young...🤔
Also, we should end unisex
I know I’m there…in the sloppiness phase. I’m going to throw out all of my old clothes, and start over. They’re too cheap anyway.
I've noticed that whenever I take the time to do my hair and dress nicely (even just to go run errands) I never regret it. People treat you differently and with more respect since you obviously respect yourself.
When my mother moved to an assisted living unit, her dementia soon caused her to need more personal care. I always made sure she looked cute and put together. I actually put outfits together on hangers so the workers would know how to dress her. I really do believe she received better care because of this and felt so much better about herself because of the way she was treated.
@@nancyarneson4960❤
Living more formally makes life seem more important.
YES ♥️
I get so many compliments on how put together I always look. You don't need to have wealth to look nice and put together. I have always dressed nicely. Even when I wear a pair of jeans. I have never gone to a store in sweats and a t-shirt. That is reserved for the gym! Love your channel
So true, Vicky. Thank you!
@B Goulet wearing slippers outside is my pet peeve
I think you are also addressing self discipline. That seems to be a character trait we don’t hear much anymore but is so valuable. Appreciate your work Jennifer.
Yes! Absolutely.
I've heard a great sentence lately. A woman was asked how she did it she looked polished and elegant everyday. She responded, that she had better and worse days, as everybody, but she always stayed disciplined, because in the end "discipline gave her freedom". She didn't have to struggle all the time to become her better self and regret that so much time passed and nothing changed, because thanks to discipline she could live her life the way she wanted.
@@mortigan How true is that! Something to strive for!
@@etta0840 Yes! It struck me, because for me discipline was something rather "unpleasant", the kind of "I must" instead of "I choose". I'm so glad I've come across this statement. It turned my point of view upside down!
“Enjoy life as a formal affair” sounds like a fantastic book title, what a great phrase!
Self-care rule:
Don’t say yes to others if it means saying no to your wellness.
I think you’re right and I appreciate your bravery in talking about weight. So often now if someone mentions “this habit might help with weight loss” the fangs come out in people! It’s like you can’t even discuss weight loss on social media without being accused of shaming (or even told you’re shaming your own self!) I’ve found this difficult as I desire and need to lose weight, but it seems like everyone is constantly saying “no you’re fine, it’s all good!” Insulin resistance is NOT all good, friends! I love that you broach the subject in this video (and others) in a reasonable way. Thanks, Jennifer!
I’ve been putting off making a TH-cam channel because I want to talk about my experiences with insulin resistance and hormone imbalance due to being overweight, but we live in a body positivity culture where “big bodies are healthy bodies” 😫🙄
We didnt get morbidly obese, until the early 80s
I went over cultural shock when I came to live in US in 2005… people in pajamas in the stores, sweatpants everywhere and paper plates when you’re invited over… and it’s not getting any better. Great video. “Be the change you wish to see in the world”
The style today is crazy in my opinion. Mixing sweatpants with nicer tops, and wearing heels with sweatpants. I don't get it?? I'm 27 BTW, and feel like I don't belong in this generation. 😆
Thug life 🤣, just kidding, that’s me i’m always in my work out clothes, and my mentality is i’m a women who takes care of her body and eats healthy. It’s not necessarily my identity but that helps in self esteem. I get dressed up maybe twice a week, because i’m thin and i’m always cold and i live in sweaters. 😬😬🤷🏻♀️
@@YarelySilvas You may not have thought of this--always being cold is a symptom of hypothyroidism. I didn't know why I always had on more layers than anyone else, until I learned my thyroid levels were low.
Don't forget slippers
@@YarelySilvas .... I also get cold easily, always have . I was born Anemic, took shots for that throughout my childhood. I am always cold, lol.
Perhaps it's relevant to you (?)
I also need socks on , even at home ,with slippers. Lol. I dress as nicely as possible, except if I'm painting or working with certain cleaners. ( protecting my good clothing) .
In the warmer months here in New England, I like to wear long maxi skirts, or a long maxi dress with sandals. Last summer walking into the grocery store, an older gentleman said to me as he walked past, "wow, a real lady, in a world that doesn't often see one." I smiled and said, "Thank you." It really is sad to receive such comments from people, but also really nice and made me feel happy and confident. 😊
All of your tips are on point! Also, the benefits I have experienced when following these tips is:
1. People treat me respectfully.
2. It gives me a healthy feeling about who I am.
3. I tend to get better deals when negotiating.
4. Those around me seem more calm around me and maybe it’s because I feel good and confident so, in return they feel my peace.
Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Can we take a moment to appreciate the footage that Jennifer went to lengths to provide of her sitting on the couch with her hair in a messy bun, rummaging through a CheezIts box while wearing stretchy athleisure and bingwatching TV?
😄
make your life's choices a work of art. that is your message here on earth.
Jennifer - I have shared your books with my daughter-in-law. In fact, during a road trip recently, my DIL, son and our 4 grandsons (ages 13-7) listened to your books. Upon returning home, they all straightened out their dresser drawers and got rid of some of their clothing and they cleaned up clutter. :) Thanks for being another good influence in our lives!
I love to hear it!
Gloria, that's so cute
Throughout the pandemic, I have worn formal work clothes and makeup every work day, so that I would appear professional during my virtual meetings (including nice pants, because I would occasionally need to get up to go get something during a meeting and people would see my pants!). Also, the formal clothes gave a clear message to my family, who was also at home: “Mom is working right now - don’t bother her!”
That’s a really wise move. It really makes you stand out in the best way possible!
You're on to something. I watched a video with my son made by a young music producer who worked from home. He said he couldn't settle down to work without dressing for the day, including shoes and socks : )
Being a homemaker I’ve adopted the Fly Lady morning routine which includes dressing to shoes 👟. I little bit of make up and a sprtitze of perfume gets me started for the day. Now, it’s just a happy habit.
Wonderful topic and all are so true! Several years ago a new mother in our neighborhood mentioned she felt she needed parenting classes to raise her child properly. I was a Montessori preschool teacher at the time. I told her to save her money and teach her child good manners and her child would be light years ahead of the majority of her peers. Manners have been lost by most of society. The children with good manners performed so much better in the classroom and playground. Sadly, very few of our students had been taught good manners and we were a school that catered to very wealthy families. Class is learned and earned not bought.
Preach. When my family comes to stay for a weekend their feathers are ruffled because I expect all dining to be done at the dining table. I haven’t always been that way, I changed about three years ago when I realized how much mindless eating I did when reading a book, doing a crossword puzzle, or even watching TV (when I used to own a TV). I made the decision that food would no longer be a primary source of entertainment, unless I was entertaining others. At first it was difficult I would think I was hungry and I’d grab some chips or a cookie and then I would sit at the dining room table to eat it. I couldn’t even stand in the kitchen by the island… I had to go sit at the dining room table… And I soon learned that I did a lot of boredom eating. Do I still snack yes but it’s very rare when it occurs. Now let’s talk about clothing especially comfortable clothing like yoga pants. THEY LIE TO YOU!!! Unless you work out regularly and watch what you eat as in eat healthy… If you wear yoga pants or stretchy clothes day in and out you won’t notice your weight gain… Because these clothes are made to stretch with your weight gain. And then you go to buy some new yoga pants and you’re totally floored that you need to go up a size or two. Solution wear yoga pants and your comfy clothes when it’s appropriate, You know at the gym, at bedtime, doing yardwork and so forth. Your video today so resonated with me… Thank you Jennifer!
Plus if people spill whe not at the table it's on the furniture & carpet gross
I am eating my yogurt breakfast while watching/listening to you while I work remote, lol
In my defense, I am fully dressed in more casual office attire, hair done, full make up and jewelry, as I have every work day for the past 2 years. Lipstick always!!
We dine with a tablecloth every night, fresh flowers and decent meals.
My friends all say " you eat fancy" or "you shop at the rich lady store".
I like my life and so does my husband. It takes very little effort to live graciously and with purpose.
I am tired of crude language, sweat pants and slippers in public...I actually saw a lady in her matching top and bottom flannel pajamas!!! Sad that it is ok to have a "messy hair, dont care" attitude.
Thank you for your content!
Nice
This is so very true.
"You eat fancy" gosh I'm no stranger to hearing that.🤣 You can tell the standards are low when people think their own behaviors of being sloppy, careless, and having lil self control is considered "normal and good" but living a comfortable/formal daily lifestyle is something that seriously raises an eyebrow. 😂
Such great points! My son is 12, and he has always loved to dress up and hold the door for others. We read your book together, and he loved it. He homeschools, so he is always with me when I go to the grocery store. He always tries to beat the cashier to saying, “Have a great day” and he always looks to see if there is an elderly person parked near us who needs help loading their groceries. I get compliments about what a gentleman he is every time we go out. It’s sad to see that the cashiers are so surprised that a young person is polite to them. He has always been interested in dressing well (he loves polo shirts and khaki shorts) and learning about manners, so he has really put your advice into practice. I can’t thank you enough!
What a sweetie!
This is what is missing in our society today! And kudos about his social skills. This young man has a great future, no doubt! Great job, Mom and Dad!!
@@user-ex1ps6iq7l Thank you so much!
😍
I have a severe needs special needs child and it’s a very good thing nobody here can see me right now but we do our best with these things. Sometimes I admit I am sloppier than I should be but my son is very aggressive and sometimes a baggy sweatshirt is the only thing that covers scratches and bruises and my son is learning to tolerate certain fabrics and use silverware. An organized home is essential for us so we do well with that and we dress up nicely for church every week even though everyone else around us is in hoodies and T shirts. I agree with the channel surfing stuff and being aware of your behavior and habits when it comes to entertainment and eating. Society has definitely gone from casual to sloppy and I have been reminded that life is so short so I no longer save our fancy dishes, etc. for special occasions because every day is a blessing and a special occasion 😊💜
I often wonder if my son and other people like him would function better and learn faster with a more formal, well mannered society…just a thought…but of course more education and acceptance needs to be taught too. Speaking of manners when you meet someone with a disability say hello and don’t stare and please teach your children to do the same. Staring at people is definitely not chic!
@juliebarnard Bless you Julie!. I too have a son with special needs. Not so severe but it's challenging all the same. I have tried to teach him how important it is to take care of his personal appearance and hygiene. He seems to get it and takes pride in looking good. He even complements me when I dress up.
I've substituted the great big sweat shirts for nice cashmere sweaters. (Thrifted). And I wear nice fitting jeans or trousers. I am a pro at thrifting! CHEERS!
How you are dressed shows respect for yourself, but more importantly it shows respect for anyone you encounter. Similarly, I want my home to be attractive and comfortable for myself, but also for my guests. We can easily make a positive impact if we make the effort to be intentional. Thank you so much for your enjoyable programs.
I don't like binge watching shows, or channel surfing. I usually tell myself that when I do watch something i limit how many episodes I watch at a time. I have gotten into watching foreign content, so I decided to choose Italian ones to mirror me learning it online. I slow episodes down to pick up on phrases, or listen to the inflection of the spoken words. It usually takes me an entire week to watch one episode a week. It actually helped me pick up on a lot culture of Italy by doing this because I see a lot more in the episode than I realized was there.
This is such fabulous insight and advice I choose to follow. My mother was very elegant and always looked her best. She would say, “ Elle, you never know who you might run in to, even going to get the mail”. It is rewarding living your best life! ⭐️
I was already upgrading my life, but you are inspiring me to put more effort into it. I have started using the nice things and burning those special candles. It is a shame to see so many who die and have not enjoyed many of the things they saved for a special occasion. Manners, eating and drinking well from nice tableware, and dressing nicely are fading quickly. It is our own fault if we don't think we are important enough to do these things. I always take the time to plate my food in a pleasing manner and though I will not dress up many days as I am doing gardening or working on projects that would potentially ruin anything I am wearing you have inspired me to do it more often. I'm worth the extra effort and so is everyone else.
Such an important topic, thank you Jennifer. A reminder that life is a gift each day and what better way to offer our thanks than to live it beautifully, being the best version of ourselves God intended for each of us.
Yes!
What a balm for the soul your videos are, Jennifer! I'm a teacher of teens/young adults, and you inspire me to model formal behaviour with them. Thank you from Cambridge UK! 💖
I love it! Thank you!
Hello from Ely!
What a nice surprise to find your channel,Thank You! I subscribed right away. I have found other benefits, too. When we are more formal, the coarse seems to slip away naturally and other more formal people and situations naturally take their place over the years. The items you mentioned have literally saved my life, as I was raised in a "casual" atmosphere and had to work my way out of that. It took many years and hard work. Now, not only am I living a formal and structured lifestyle, but I also retired from the workforce at 47. I now work in my home office managing my rental properties. My husband thinks it is darling that I get ready for work every day with a proper outfit and makeup to go into my home office!
None of this would have been possible had I not started young on simply having impeccable manners, which then led to everything else. Thank You for your program, the World needs more of this!
Your comment is inspiring. Thank you! ❤
Very inspiring tips, Jennifer. I grew up with a few wealthy, well-mannered relatives in England. Oh! The culture shock when this rural Canadian would visit this family! Elbows at my side. Fork turned over. Small, slow bites. Napkin in my lap. Lots of "pleases" and "thank yous" and calm conversation. I try to imagine I'm sitting with these aunties and uncles now, when I eat. It is a radically different experience when I do. For those who don't have such memories, take a close look at how members of the Royal family eat on The Crown.
For those who are on a tight clothing budget, the number 1 way I upgrade my outfits is to iron (or steam) almost everything. Yes, I iron my jeans.♥️🇨🇦
A girl at work asked me what spray starch was....
It’s astonishing to me how few people iron anymore! I only have a certain brand of Irons I will buy because so many are made junky because people hardly use them. I even iron my undershirts.
I personally appreciate this video. This is the stage of life I am at, deciding who I want to be and how I want to live. However, I can't help but think of the many people I interact with through my work who are not as fortunate as I am to have the headspace and support to make these intentions into realities.
I totally agree that all those "soccer moms" going out with their yoga pants and a messy bun could probably learn a lot from the concept of living formal, but I'm talking about those who come from generations of poverty, who maybe struggle just to pay the bills from month to month. We all need to be gracious and accepting of these individuals, even when they are wearing their pajamas to the store and their children have no manners, because even if they could somehow learn that they should live more formally, they may mentally be in survivor mode and literally cannot shift their mindset. Not to say that all of those living in poverty do not live in some of the more formal ways, but just that any type of poverty (social, emotional, financial, etc) create an extra hindrance from focusing on the "finer" things of life
I have noticed a rise, since the pandemic, in individuals who fall into this category and it is tragic. But I'm going to keep loving and showing value to everyone, rather than holding them to the standards I am seeking to cultivate for myself. I am realizing, as I explore more about how I want to live intentionally, that I cannot neglect the internal need for humility and compassion while upholding the outward tenets of a formal lifestyle. Even though I agree with this video, just wanted to share my thoughts in case the information can help someone else.
Oh exactly it is cultural! But here in the states we have a culture often connected with that poverty. Like I was saying, generations of feeling helpless to get out of poverty perpetuates the cycle. It didn’t USED to be this way. The poor still had a sense of pride and dignity. And I think that’s what is present in cultures like the one you describe, which sets apart those who are physically poor but emotionally stable.
I work with a variety of low-income/impoverished individuals and families. And it is just SO clear that the solution is much more complicated than just “live better.” My goal is to non-condescendingly set an example while intentionally showing unending compassion and support for these families. Simple mental shifts, like caring about how you dress and taking care of yourself is a HUGE step in the right direction. But it’s a step that people have to be prepared to make on their own, without feeling forced/looked-down-on.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts/experience! It’s SO true that there are some pretty incredible people living in poverty around the world. To have so little but humbly manage it all so well, with dignity and grace is admirable!
@@grt764 Thank you. I try to be level-headed and clear with my comments, which means... overthinking and taking an excessive amount of time typing things up. But I genuinely desire to help stimulate people's thinking about subjects that aren't simply black and white. Kind regards!
Thank you for your comment. I live in a small town and had gotten to a point where I started complaining excessively about how uncaring people were dressing these days while out. Then it occurred to me that I was really upset because I wasn't being inspired to keep my own appearance up. So a voice whispered to me: be your own inspiration, stop depending on others to inspire you to express your best. And that I don't know what's going on in their lives and to just be grateful that my desire and intention is strong enough to not give up on myself. That was a game changer for me. Now I just do what I do and let others do what they do.
When I saw the picture of you eating Cheetos informally I laughed so hard. Because that's me! 66 years old. All the kids are grown and gone. I'm still working. I come home and eat my Cheetos and go on social media. You're helpful even for Grandma's.
Hello my twin sister😂😂😂
she's not on your team..that is the problem.
...the white soft feminine blouse is absolutely beautiful on Jennifer!!!
I'm half smiling as I watch, Jennifer. On Saturday evening I set the dining table for Sunday lunch. But my husband wanted to go to a restaurant for lunch on Sunday. Something else happened Monday, I can't now remember what. Then Tuesday, Wednesday... it's Thursday and the table is still set. I'm not sure we'll get to it today either, with a funeral this late morning. Even with the best of intentions, life sometimes gets in the way. But I have promised myself to eat a meal at that table sometime soon. I may have to dust it first, lol.
all you say is very true ...sometimes I watch old videos on youtube from around 1910 or so and I see how elegant people were in that times...people nowadays have forgotten how to dress and do their hair 🤩
Yes, and like she said COVID took a lot of us to a new low and made me realize that I wanted to raise my standards
I love a formal life and thank you soo much for sharing. Am soo glued to your vlog
You brought up so many good points. One thing I had to overcome was the fear of "standing out." I don't like a lot of attention on me, so I was dressing more casually than I wanted to just to blend in better. I finally got over it and bought clothes that really express my own personal style. Very feminine and a tad on the whimsical side because that suits my personality. And it makes a huge difference. And yes, I do get more attention than I used to, but it's really positive and nice. People smile at me more, and I feel more confident, too. One thing I really need to work on is manners. I'm a stickler for please, thank you, and excuse me. I have that side covered, but my table manners could definitely use some work. I just wasn't raised to sit up straight and keep elbows off the table during our family meals. We were always more casual and relaxed, but it is definitely something I would like to work on :)
I completely relate! I hope she goes over manners too.
As you dress nicely, you may find other people copying you, dressing nicely too.
What you describe as formal is actually the casual way of living in many countries around the world. It’s the way we are raised and it’s the way we enjoy life.
I'm improving bit by bit. Still snacking on the couch, but my potato chips are in a small, attractive bowl.
I love the reminder that the more we do something, they more accustomed and comfortable we get to it. You spoke in terms of style. This principle applies to all aspect of life.
You're right that we have all become more casual since the pandemic started. Thank you for bringing these points out. We always ate at the table and now we don't since my son left for college last fall. That's changing immediately! BTW this is the first time my husband watched a post with me and he said', "she's very classy." 🙂
Ah, thank you!
Agree. There is a time and place to be casual, like a picnic. I was raised to come to breakfast and dinner presentable. We sat at the dinner table with a napkin and hand in our lap; no elbows on the table. We properly excused ourselves when finished. I have gotten too casual; so this video is a good reminder. Thank you for your encouragement to remember to be proper.
I spent years in scrubs at work or sweats/pjs at home---gained 40+ pounds and didn't notice my clothes no longer fit because I seldom got dressed! Then, when I had to dress for an occasion, it was panic and I often wore outfits I didn't feel great about. I recently lost the weight, started a spring/summer 10 piece capsule wardrobe--and I will try your advice today, as everything else has been SO helpful! I'm 62 and happy to learn -- to dress better and to develop healthier habits for life! Thanks for your work, Jennifer-- -it has helped more than I can say! You are a unique, valuable voice, and I appreciate your lessons! Sharon Y.
Yes, the Sebastian airport skit!!! “You see the world…..and the world SEES YOU!”
You know, one’s wardrobe is like grammar. Choosing to text shorthand with little or no regard to punctuation, capitalization, or the use of complete sentences says, “I couldn’t care less.” (Going to store in PJs) But when your sentences are fully formed, thoughtful, and considered, it says, “I do care.” (Dressing each day like an adult).
I've been brought up on most of these principles, and now that I have my own home, I try to stick to them as much as possible. I love the idea of intentional living, even though my style is more casual then yours by choice. The first important bit of furniture I insisted on was a dining table, and I will never regret that choice even though it takes up a lot of space in a small house. I can't stand wearing leggins so will always be in jeans or skirts, and my most comfortable pair of trousers for lounging is fancy super soft work wear. My parents have actually gotten a lot slopier since getting older, whereas I have decided that after my casual 20's, a little bit more discipline and order would be a good idea. Great video, I'll be looking for more!
Such a great topic to discuss! Queen Elizabeth is the very embodiment of a formal life. She's a great example to observe in all these keys areas!
Wow, Jennifer, bringing formality to the daily life does help in all these ways! We are using cloth napkins, cloth paper towels and handkerchiefs exclusively to stretch our grocery budget and it makes us more mindful of being wise stewards of our money and the earth. Thanks for bringing this topic full circle. All the best, Julie 🌷
Fantastic!
I have wanted to live this way my entire life and now I am a 63-year-old widow. A few years ago my late husband and I went through some unfortunate circumstances and then he passed away. I live alone now but I still have this inner yearning to live a more formal lifestyle. I have a couple of disabilities so I tend to have one TV in my bedroom and I sit in bed and eat at night. I know that’s horrible. My biggest problem is finding clothing because I live in a really small rural community and I’m horribly overweight. Every point you made makes so much sense. I am pretty good about taking care of myself intellectually. I listen to historical podcasts and sermons daily. I don’t watch as much TV as I once did. Thank you for the gentle reminder and motivation that it’s not too late for me to get my act together again. To love and respect myself and then do so I respect others.
Hello kindred spirit. I wish I were smaller so I could wear some styles I've always admired, e.g., Margaret Anderson of Father Knows Best; June Cleaver😂. Love those button down shirt dresses with the three quarter sleeves. I wish I could sew.
Best of luck on your journey! Your wise choiced and diligence will pay off.
Would love the video on dressing the table! Love beautiful tables-capes!
I’m catching up on your videos 😁Oh wow, this one was an eyeopener! I never thought there were connections between casual living with weight gain, sloppiness, mindlessness, bad manners, and clutter. Thanks Jennifer!
Happy I found your channel. I wish they had you in schools doing lectures to young children as well as high school and college. This really should be taught in schools today. Class, taste, and good manners need to be restored in society
Every time a watch your videos, I am inspired to do more of what I’m already trying to do- and that’s because I read your Madame Chic book a few years ago! And yes, more if this content, please! 😊
As someone who has decided that I am done with a “ casual lifestyle”, I feel you made many amazing points in this videos. But, here is the problem, where do I even start in trying to live a more formal lifestyle? Everything in my life, from clothing to furniture, is so very casual. It is almost the American way. Could you please create a video on how to become more formal in a step by step manor? Thank you.
I have watched alot of videos on that , you need some staples you can mix in match & a couple mice jeans. I think she's done a video on that :) sorry I don't know how she titled it.
I struggle here too. I live right by the beach so it’s a super casual lifestyle. Also it’s very easy to throw on yoga pants like everyone else and go walk my dog everyday.
Manner !!
Step 1: buy a napkin holder, Step 2: say grace before meals, Step 3: wear a skirt or dress
Having a manor house does help. They're very formal. :-)
Ha, ha, I'm loving your snacking-in-yoga-pants version! 😀
So so funny 😂
The scene from the book :D nice to see visualisation :D
😅😅
I remember going on a mission trip in my early 20s and everyone told me to dress down so I would be more relatable to the people we would be serving. I had nothing to dress down (and no money to buy dress-down clothes - my clothes were a few years old but well kept). Actually, it didn’t matter. I was dressed stylishly and had fantastic rapport with children and adults alike - because I was “just” me. It probably would not have worked out that well if I had tried to be someone else by dressing like everyone else. This way, they saw my heart, as my outer appearance was an extension of who I am inside.
I'm sure appreciated the fact that you showed respect for both them and yourself.
I would love to see a video on how you maintain a formal lifestyle with children. What expectations have you set for their daily routines?
Yes please 😄
She wrote a book on this called Connoisseur Kids:)
Love your content. I’ve only just come across it a few days ago because I do intermittent fasting. Everything you say in today’s video reminds me of my dad. He had all those 5 qualities. So I will now try to follow them too. Thank you for reminding me xx
I have two IF videos next week ✨
Hi Jennifer... Thank you, I haven't watched your videos in a while, glad to be back! The past 2 years have been a bit of a blur, but I think it was a Wake-Up call that nothing in our lives get better "magically"... Living Life well, is an Art, let's make it a Masterpiece!!
I live in a hot country and I’ve noticed a trend towards women wearing flowy cotton or linen dresses and pretty sandals and moving away from athliesure which looks so much nicer and is still comfortable in the heat.
Thank you! I am on board with this. My goal this week is to have a pretty table. We aren't overly casual, but I think it will be good to become more formal and intentional. I am very excited!
I just love this concept Jennifer! Again with the amazing content. The concept of a “formal” life is just perfectly inspiring because then everything else just falls under it - manners, style, elegance, etiquette. I’ll be using this one!
I am watching this on a rainy day and I have broken each rule..lol. Sitting on the couch, watching old disney movies with the kids, baking and yes, I am in my pj's. I can say, though, that this isn't the norm for us. I am now looking forward to tomorrow and showing up for my day!
Love your sense of humor! The box of cheese-its and the messy bun 😂 currently working on the clutter-free environment for my home. Thanks for keeping me inspired!
Great reminders! My husband and I have such a bad habit of eating dinner while watching a show after the kids go to bed. I’ve realized how detrimental that is to our overall health! It’s been on my mind that we need to break that habit.
About a year ago I acquired a formal tea set.
Whenever I have time and leisure, I drink with friends or for myself from these beautiful, delicate cups.
The odd thing is, alongside the beauty of the set, it is the more formal, less practical, that makes it a particular joy to use.
You have to carefully pour the tea from the teapot and take the cup carefully with the saucer, you can only do that with mindfulness, maybe that's the secret of this pleasure?
I love all of your videos, but this one is wonderful and very timely. I have always been complimented on my stylish, dressy attire....until I went through a stage of depression; the pandemic immediately followed; and I began working from home. Sadly, I have gained weight: an embarrassing thirty pounds and my stylish clothes are becoming too small. Children notice how their parents conduct themselves because on days I do take the initiative to dress more "myself "; wear make-up; and skip the ponytail, my children tell me how pretty I look! I always make sure they look their best, so I am slowly making my way back to me. With your help, I am implementing intermittent fasting and have set the table more formally. I had already decluttered thanks to Dawn, Cas, and Dana, and Jennifer, you are on that list of my favorites with those incredible ladies reminding me to "Keep it classy." Thank you!
I think the main idea is just to be more intentional and conscious in the small details of day to day life
I love this! I love watching shows like The Guilded age because it was so proper and formal back in the 1800s. My grandparents never dressed down, not even for the grocery store. It's amazing how good you feel when you are put together even though it takes more effort it's so worth it.
Yes! Expand on all of those! #3 is big for me. We cut cable/ satellite, best decision ever! Now I only watch TH-cam videos or podcasts that teach, encourage, and edify my life.... like your channel!
Loved, loved, loved this talk Jennifer!
Portion control would also be easier during a more formal dining style.
Please never stop these inspirational videos! Thank you!
Thank you Jennifer, would you do a video (or several) on table-setting? I'd like to know your thoughts on table linen, runners and placemats, when to use them and when they're not necessary. What would you consider essential for someone just moving into their own home? And your thoughts on styles, monograms and embroidery.
That was a lovely reminder. Even in the past, it's very rare that I spend a day in my pyjamas, I've always gotten dressed every day, even if I'm staying in the house. In the past couple of years, I've moved away from wearing jeans, I'm getting really bored of them and denim isn't the best textile to wear, I've been wearing more skirts and dresses, and I have quite a few wool skirts for the winter, which are warmer than any trousers I own.
In the past few weeks, I've been reincorporating makeup into my routine, especially when I'm going somewhere. I've always liked makeup, and I've been lazy about it. I really like Shelbey Wilson's makeup style and techniques, it's fresh and simple, and I'm gradually getting the hang of it and doing it faster.
I have never thought about how a casual lifestyle encourages bad eating behavior!! Please do make another video about that!! I'm so much older than you but I remember in the 50s, my mother always left the home to go to town with gloves and her hat. Great points!! I love your videos, Jennifer, and have read all your books many times. I've always been curious....does your French family know about your writings? Have you been in contact with them since leaving France?
I'm pretty sure she has said she tried contacting them in the past, telling them about her book(s), but hasn't heard back from them.
I love that you talk about how comfort is what you get used to. I wouldn't feel comfortable in public in leggings! It's not about the the elasticity of material, it's about what you get used to.
What a very On Pointe topic! I am 50 and I often say that society as a whole has no manners any more. I was raised by my grandparents who were very formal people. Which has helped me with who I am as a person and even helped me with my housekeeping. Please continue speaking on this very important topic. And yes, I find that I too have adopted a sloppier lifestyle then I grew up with so thank you for the wake up call!
I could listen to you talk on this subject for hours. I don’t have hours, so thank you for the short and to the point videos. I hope you film some more of them on this topic.😊
I'm new on your channel. I found it after starting to read one of your books. Your message is what I have been looking for years now. It is true inspiration❣️
I also have a story:
A few years ago I went to Venice on a day trip with a friend. It was a rainy day, so we didn't see too much of the city itself but we decided to sit in bars and watch the people and chat. In one of the bars there was an elderly woman who will stay in my mind forever. She was about 70 years old, but her simple style was fascinating. The way she dressed and spoke was charming. She was so simply elegant but still I couldn't take my eyes off her. I didn't want to star at her and scare her, but her style was outstanding.
My initial thought was 'I want to be like this when I am older'. Such a role model is important for me because in my country it is not typical of elderly women to go out, to dress up or put on make-up etc.
I so enjoy watching your videos! And, yes, you’re never too old to learn. I recently celebrated my 70th birthday, and watching you and other Young TH-camrs keeps me feeling young! 🤣
I have all three of your Madam Chic books and have learned and put into practice many of the things you talk about. I am thinking about getting the Connoisseur Kids to read to my granddaughter. Thank you for keeping me feeling young ♥️
I am with you Debbie! 66 and gaining so much wisdom from young Jennifer! I wish I had had a mentor such as her when I was younger!
@@gailtester8749me, too! I wish TH-cam had been around when I was raising my daughters! There are things I would have differently, I think. But I’m sure glad Facebook wasn’t around when I was a teen!😂 I’d hate for all the stupid things I did to be documented! 😂🤣😂🤣
Happy belated birthday! :)
Jennifer, your hair is beautiful and you look lovely. Thank you for your videos 🤍
I think the first pre-step for any of this is a pretty posture bra. I really do. Then, the pretty lace blouse and cami. Then, set the table. And so forth.
I have been wearing dresses almost everyday for like two years and you feel so much more presentable when you do that. In winter I wear them with leggings and sometimes I wear leggings and a nice shirt with a cardigan.
Same here, I love wearing dresses. I wore a pair Bermuda shorts out this summer and it felt a little weird.
In the winter I wear dresses with tights. I bought a pair of OTK boots to wear with my dresses (hemmed slightly above the knees or a few inches below) but the dress hem gets caught in the gap at the top of the boots when walking. I don't want to shorten the dresses. I should have gotten the boots that tie at the top. I love these boots and if anyone have any suggestions about making this work please let me know. Thanks!
Beautiful video Jennifer ❤️ as a Muslim I too believe that the little time we have on this earth is so precious and we have to do our best to live out our lives in the best possible way…the best manners, conduct, etc. This was a great reminder for me thank you.
Love love love! ❤️ Thank you for sharing! ❤️ I have used table linens and place settings throughout my adult life. New friends are always shocked and sometimes taken aback when they see the table set for dinner. The world has developed a “drive-thru” mentality! I adore the gentility that beautiful things bring to every day life!
I didn’t own a pair of sweatpants until a couple years ago. I had some spine & nerve issues which caused excruciating pain and putting on clothes was very hard so I needed something to be able to slip on. It was also during winter and it gets very cold here otherwise a dress would have been ideal. I was so happy when I could wear my normal clothes again ☺️
Awesome video! I live in Florida in a medium to higher income retirement community. Just a day ago I was thinking how casual everybody has become. I look at women with a relatively good income and they go out disheveled, wearing leggings and flip flops all the time. I understand the weather is hot, but really, they can make a simple effort. Not to say I’m perfect all the time, but this video wants me to up my game. Thank you!
We just bought a home in a retirement community in SWFL, and I can't believe how "casual" it is. I am really trying to figure out how to dress down there. It's kind of depressing to see everyone dressed down all the time, no matter the event. I am from Ohio and it is surprising to me how different the lifestyle is.
My reason for living in a more formal way is because that is when I feel happiest🥰💖💐
It's eye-opening how all these tips go hand-in-hand. Raising your standards in one area overflows into the next.
Loved this! Would definitely appreciate videos expanding on each of these points! Thank you from here in Spain.
I love your username!
I love this video! I’ve adopted many things mentioned in your Madame Chic books, and my family has responded well to them. My 6 year old son especially loves finer dining and looks forward to our “feasts” every Sunday. I would definitely like to see a video on making everyday meals more formal so that we can have the feast experience daily.
You clutching the box of cheez-its is HILARIOUS!!!!
Thank you so much for your tips, trick, and reminders. I've not only started noticing the way others dress, but when I see someone dressed for their day I comment with a compliment. It's my way of spreading sunshine, and kindness, in what can often be a dark and dreary world, so thank you for encouraging this. This past Saturday my husband and I, along with a friend, went to see the new Downton Abby movie. My biggest take from the movie was the actress portraying the actress in the movie being shot at Downton Abby and her table manners at dinner. I gasped (loudly) and commented (yes, a bit to loud for the theatre) she has her elbows on the table. We teach our children to practice the things that are important in life, from manners to math and reading, yet when we become adults we slack off and find ourselves needing to "Polish Our Poise", if I may. I may not be quite ready for tea with the Queen, but thanks to your videos and books, I am consistently polishing my poise, and brushing up on things that need brushing up, like my theatre manners... Blessings!
Dearest Jennifer, I host ladies lunches and teas often and I am looking forward to more videos on elevating your dining and formal living experiencees. Thank you for being the most elegant lady I know and an amazing inspiration! Blessings. ,,,,🌹
Thank you Jennifer for such an appropriate, useful, and beautiful video! Please, please do a series--the world so needs this type of content.
Beautiful video Jennifer. Thank you for making it and yes, expand this topic! We all need it.
Thanks, Teri! Love you!
Love this. The best part of this video was seeing you on the couch, being "less formal"!
Thank you for these videos, Jennifer! I’ve read all of your books, and I’m rereading “At Home with Madame Chic” now that I’m no longer working. I’ve been watching your videos and joined the Chic Society over a year ago, and I love how much my home life has improved. I have a wonderful husband, but your tips really elevate the way we live each day!
Wonderful! Welcome to The Chic Society ✨
I wholeheartedly agree with everything mentioned in this video. When you live INTENTIONALLY you do everything with intention. I am the only female at our business and I hear the men mention how "frumpy" women have gotten with how they present themselves to the world. I know it's not only women, but since hearing this comment it really awakened in me the desire to be more mindful with my attire. I get treated with much more respect because of it. Thank you Jennifer! 🌺
I love the formal life! I introduced tea time recently to discourage my son from constant snacking during the day. It keeps a good pace on the day and it makes you more aware of what you are eating. I enjoy a little piece of cake or toast with my tea so much more this way. I've also introduced intermittent fasting and lost those pesky 10 lbs. That I hated, thanks to You.
Sitting at the table for dinner has always been a prefference for me. I got rid of cable and television a long time ago so there's only intentional watching now. We can use our computers for that.
I like the style of this video, and the examples were funny to see! I could not have imagined you looking so informal!
Jennifer thank you so much for inspiring me to take care of myself and care about myself again 💝
I totally agree with all your points! My style has always been more formal than the norm, so it comes a little more naturally to me. I think a sixth point is that it makes you more confident!
I hadn’t thought of it but you’re so right! When my standards are high and I’m meeting them - I feel unstoppable!
That is a great video, Jennifer. You are spot on with every single thing you say here. I noticed myself nodding along for the entire 14 minutes. I am guilty of dressing much too casually since the pandemic started and I stopped going to the office every day. Great reminder to get back on track. Very well done, thank you!