Why jealousy is a GOOD thing | Mel Robbins
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ต.ค. 2024
- Drop a heart if you're going to listen to this incredible conversation I just had with my friend @jayshetty on his award winning podcast On Purpose.
We talk about why you can't stop procrastinating and how to eliminate self-doubt. We also dive deep into something I call a High 5 Attitude. In this clip, I'm teaching you how to deal with jealousy and comparison, and flip it into the inspiration to go after what you want. (And if you listen to the episode, you'll even hear me confess to Jay why I'm jealous of him 😉)
Our conversation is currently the #1 ranking podcast episode in Wellness and Health, so make sure you check it out.
And shoutout again to Jay for having me on his podcast - you can watch/listen the full episode here • Mel Robbins ON: Why Yo...
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Jealousy is not ever aimed at the person who is jealous. This is so brilliant and innovative. It shows why you reign in the world of thought influence!!!
Usually, people project their jealousy toward the person they are jealous of...or at least I know I've been the receiver of a lot of jealousy from people. I've never seen anything but meanness, manipulation, and a flat out attempt to destroy the person through mind games, theft, denial, and inhumane treatment.
There's *admiration* and there's jealousy.
Wrong jealousy includes love. However, to covet and being obsessive is what is bad
I kind of disagree. I think you can admire someone who is rich, but not have a desire to be that person. Jealousy is different, it's an innate sign that you want something, whether it be a quality, characteristic, or item, that another person has.
When I wanted to learn guitar, I admired a great guitarist. However, it was the jealousy of seeing people around me play the instrument well that motivated me to actually learn it.
@@chiefhardy6312 that's coveting not jealousy
@@SV-LABELSwhat is jealousy then?
@@jazzercaster4749 jealousy can only happen in relationships or when you love someone. You can be jealous that they are talking to someone else. Jealousy is more so a feeling of discomfort and/or irritation to the actions of the person you love sharing parts of your love with someone else. It's basically not wanting someone to cross a boundary that you perceive to be for yourself. Whereas coveting is the wanting of something you don't have. Jealousy is the protective measure of keeping what you hold most dear.
Wow, somebody who has no idea what they want to do with their life should take this advice. I'm somebody.
But serious, that's a great perspective of jealousy. Everyone has a negative outlook on it but you just turned it into a tool, a compass of what I truly deeply desire for myself. I'm not jealous of many things but one sticks out to me the most. Freedom of time. Freedom to do whatever the H-E-double-hockey sticks I want to do, whenever. So now I'd like to fill in the steps to get me there happily. Thanks 😊
For me jealousy is not even in my dictionary, prioritizes is something’s has to be done before I move on to what I want to do, keep on experimenting till I find it
Jealousy can also be covert entitlement, as in, "I want...", but without having to do the work, or anything constructive, to get it! I liked MetalHeart's comment. To admire, and then aspire, is far more healthy.
So basically self reflection and getting to the root of the feeling, instead of just questioning it and working around it. Make sense, seems obvious; but sounds so different put this way... Sounds like a good plan. 👍👍
Great way to put it!
this is the correct and positive thinking that motivates you. Bad thinking of jealousy is bad
There's a thin line between jealousy and envy. What she just explained is called benign envy, where you envy someone, and channel that envy as motivation and inspiration. But when you aim that "jealousy" to the world as she puts it, it's then called malicious envy. It no longer inspires or motivates you, it just brings you.
Jealousy is the fear of losing something that you already have.
Envy is a desire for something somebody else has that you don't have.
Malicious envy involves hostility or resentment toward another person who has it "better" than you, and is aimed at pulling down them down.
Benign envy is a non-malicious form aimed at improving one's own situation.
Do your research about this and you will see for yourself. What she just explained is benign envy, not jealousy.
I 💯 agree w you. I'm ready for that change.
Honestly started tearing up
I feel you😢
Thats what I admire about you so much. You make me feel that I'm not a horrible person for the way I feel. You have given me the strength to focus on my fears. To recognise that it's ok to feel this way. I'm working on myself because I want a better balanced, happy life, for me. Not anyone else. Thank you 🙏
🙏 *5 Things to Never Do in Rush:*
*1) Giving away your trust*
*2) Making big desicions*
*3) Judging someone's character*
*4) Falling in love*
*5) Eating your food*
noice
I'm guilty of a few of those.. 🙊🙈🙉
@@KG-kx3pp whichh
Correct. Every emotion has a base, which generates from the one experiencing it, therefore explore its source and face what it is. Nobody can be you, but you...get familiar.
I totally agree! This is why everyone should live up to their own definition of success. Stop comparing themselves to everyone else because it's only going to stress you out and make you miserable.
Best perspective ever.
Wow....this is awesome
I didn't realise it till today
Jealousy gives us an idea of what we are passionate and interested in dng
Beautiful perspective 🥰🥰🥰
So wisdow words ! Many thanks Mel !😍😍😍👏👏👏👏
Mel is fantastic!
SISTER GIRL YOU ARE ON POINT
It's a life changing perspective
Wow!!! Yes!!! So well said!!! Thank You!!! ✨🙏💖
So True Mel thank u😊😊
Wow
Thank you
Never never be a jealous person always be happy for others!!! Be the highest self ya can be! Remember ya don’t get what ya want, you get what you are!
I really love this . You made me allow myself to truly desire what I am doing for giving me the kindest partner ever. Thank you so much for telling me I deserve it!!!
Not jealous either AT ALL. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!♥️♥️♥️
Loveee this perspective!!
She is a gem!💎❤️
This is just so on point!🙂
Yes Mel..it's true..even myself jealousy is not in my vocabulary.😊
Well said...
Mel is a G ☺️
I've been watching you for years. I enjoy your energy and logic. Im proud and inspired by you...thank you....I remember when you used to post your phone number for people to contact you...I always wanted to call but fear took over...thank you for your 5 4 3 2 1 ...it works and helps me to be a better and healthier version of myself.
You tell them Mell! Love you. Thank you!
What a beautiful gorgeous take on jealousy
Am softly lovingly jealous of people who had not only parents but good parents
Thank you
I already get this and it’s a great point. Mel does great clips!!
I love that. Jealously is a clue!
Truth!!
I love your stuff. You're awesome.
***Jealous isn't the same as envious.****
Why I cry? Ugh, thank you!
Super cool 😎 perspective 👏
Narcissists have never gotten this message!
Thanks for this!
That's exactly what I needed to hear, thank u Mel
Amen!
Thankyou so much! This is so good
Exactly ❤️
WHOLESOMEEEE!!
Insightful
Very interesting! 😊
So true
Well said Mel, love it love it love it. ❤👏 I'm gonna make it happen, I WILL find a partner who is deserving of me and want true love and happiness. I'm inspired by my sisters relationship, I want that in my love life too.
I see jealousy as an instinct it's like an animal I watch my cats sometimes when I'm paying too much attention to one the other one gets jealous I think it's an instinct that we have been born with like one of the seven senses but I agree in it's a directional tool for sure but it's very natural to feel jealous especially in a relationship dynamic
Excellent 👌🏻💝🌹👏🏻
Really good
I was over 300lbs at one point living off 250$ a month, living in a rooming house, taking the bus and still had someone who had 2 well paying jobs, a late model car a husband and family with a house, jealous of me. Jealousy is a demon that needs to be called out, not hidden
Love it
Fear and stress was first for me.... Oohhhh Man
Awsome
Hi Mel, I love your soothing voice! - Your new fan from Seoul, South Korea
Those who are jealous, they don't want that in their life nor they want that to happen in others life.So,they don't get inspired by it.Its like if they don't have that they will not let others have that.
Aim to inspiration and motivation but without hurting that person, because they may not feel like you do. Then we can left as defeated and consumed by our desire and jealousy just to get sth
Take her advice jealousy people. That way you won't have no more jealousy but have confidence.
I'm jealous that other people get loving partners that make time, listen to and understand them. What do I have to do to be good enough for other people that they even want to do what I always do for them? Doesn't seem to work if I focus on others first, nor if I focus on just myself. Confusing conundrum here, what am I supposed to be motivated to change to "make it happen"? Everyone says be myself and I am but that doesn't seem to draw anyone in. Maybe I just like my own company too much and give off disinterested vibes while still listening? Idk can't figure it out 😂
I am jealous of couple who are kind to each other..I feel like I would like to have that kind of relationship but I don't think I will ever have it.. so I want to get out of my present marriage as early as possible and live rest of my life as single...Hope this desire become true in my life
You can be jealous without wanting what somebody has. you dont need this but you also dont want that somebody have it. Reality.
For me it's the reverse.
I am jealous of what I cannot have even if I try hard. I am never jealous of good things that I can have if I try.
For example.. I am not jealous of fit people bcoz o can get fit if I want. I am jealous of people who have a lot of freedom in life bcoz I come from a society where it is tougher for a woman to have as much freedom as men and safety is an issue as well (in a comparstivr degree). I could be jealous of ur relationship with ur father bcoz it may be something I may never have. But I'm not. I'm just saying.. I never get jealous if ur pretty or happy or rich bcoz I feel these r possible atleast to a small degree. It's the things that even if I fight for it, I may not get, that I'm jealous about.
How can i give this more than one like???
This helps
❤❤❤
Jealosy doesn't serve of anything.
Jealousy is a disease
Someone who's trying for 20 years in the marriage,it's not easy to see for that person to sew the people around getting better in relationships .
I know she means yo try the utmost ,but sometimes nothing would change the other person to fall in love with you.only you have to change yourself and accept that its not in your fate to be loved by a partner .
Only your lids are there to love you until they get married.
But God has made this world with couples...all the animals have couples too.
❤
I am never jealous of anyone....and I literally don't want anything. I have no desires except to die. I'm done living.
That is ok to feel that way. th-cam.com/users/shorts9nJRtzKzFqE?feature=share
If anything I would like to be with some who doesn’t have a type
Who knows that physical appearance and attraction isn’t meaningful but perhaps I’m the one who needs to learn that with my current partner who does have a type
Yeah, use jealousy as a navigator.
✨
🙌🏾
She means “envy,” not “jealousy.” Envy is wanting something somebody else has. Jealousy is fearing the loss of something you already possess (think “jealous husband”).
What if I'm never jealous about anything? It's normal? It's related to depression? To never truly want something, to never have goals. Sorry if my English isn't correct
It’s wrong to feel jealous. The title is misleading.
You don’t need to desire something to be happy. You certainly have some preferences. You just need to know the purpose of life and your life.
Start with Yosef Mizrachi, The Purpose of Life
I hope this helps
But what if it was something about can't change like your appearance ( like desire of being incredibly beautiful)or your health condition? How could you deal with this?
We only think it’s exceptional when we don’t have it and if we did, it’d fade away, like all things in this world.
This means that, to feel good we have to concentrate on what we have; we must be busy building our lives.
Even someone who has health issues may find something good within themselves, because there is. Even a deceased person can still inspire thousands of people, continuing this way to make a difference in the world.
No one has it all, even if it’s not obvious to see it.
Want to check this? Compare two people: one is concerned about the furniture, the other is concerned about finding a place to sleep. Or the two of them are laying in a hospital bed. One is concerned about the visiting time, the other is concerned about how to pay the hospital bill… and so on.
I hope this helps
I’m not jealous of all the people who want to go to heaven because God made the earth for humans and promised they would build their own house and live forever.this is where I am mentally.what’s in heaven?the earth has all that a humans need
I AM JEALOUS AT ALMOST LIKE NEVER WHY BECOUSEB IM CHRISTIAN I BELIEVE IN JESUS AND I TRUST IN GOD AND I TRUST IN MYSELF CODE I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGTH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHEN ME THANK YOU FOR SHARING DEAR GOD BLESS YOU
Bukwas
Do not ape others
There is no end to it
Self discipline is key
Self care
Self love
Jealousy is warning sign that the distraction taking away tbe focus
I am sorry everybody, i hope u don't feel the same way or if u do i truly believe u will end up will and u will become something very fantastic but i get jealous of so many things and that's why i feel so awful about myself. I think i am the most disgusting person ever. So i never have the motivation to make things better about me/my life
Im Jealous of My Girlfriends Best Friend, because shes doing more than I am in the relationship, and my GF chooses her before me, on her important events, like her Birthday.
❤️💯🙌
Jealous people are people who were compared to others when they were kids by there parents.....think about it.
My late husbands ex ALWAYS accused me of being jealous of her and wanting her life, LMAO- I truly believe and have always believed she was jealous of my life with HER ex husband 🥰🥰
6
why was she even still talking to u when u married her ex tho?>!
How can i get this video of full version?
I'm tired of others jealousy towards me! It's a spirit not fromGods kingdom ! I want peace ✌️ love ❤️ pray get delivered.
I'm jealous of fast glossy cars.
I'll become that.
☺️☺️☺️
But most of them don't introspect, the ones who introspect don't take actions.
Yeah this might work in some scenarios but I need a deeper explanation than surface level advice.
so what if im jealous because i see my gf being friendly with others ( or possibly flirting)? ( and how can i tell if my gf is flirting with other guys) ?
You first need to know if your jealousy is justified: seek therapy to find out.
If your therapist tells you clearly it’s not you the problem, choose a girlfriend that has a better behavior.
Time is precious. It’s the only true valuable currency. Be happy.
Envious not jealous