The most profound part of this interview for me was that nothing has changed for gay men in the LDS Church. I came out in 1977 while at BYU. Everything Tyler reveals about his journey with his sexuality, mirrors what I and my gay friends went through while coping with our own sexual issues. Thirty plus years later and it's the same story, almost verbatim... That quite a hold the Church has on gay youth. It's part of their power that I find chilling. Yet people still believe, something I will never understand.
+Robert Wallace The church allows adulterers to get divorced and married and eventually even sealed to the person they committed adultery with. The church allows children of adulterers to be blessed, baptized and participate fully in the church without having to disavow their parents. Does that explain it?
+Robert Wallace well, i suppose Packer's passing especially will stop some of the fear mongering spread from the pulpit, so some of the mistreatment might dissipate....this same question could be asked of the blacks and women in the church, historically speaking......
If you are under 18 and one of your parents is gay, you have to disavow that parent's relationship and are not allowed to live with them if you want to be baptized. How is that not messed up?
Robert Wallace you’ll never get it until you try to put things in LGBT people’s shoes and see another perspective. We’re not rare, and every single LGBT person I know who grew up in the church has severe psychological scarring from the shaming that the church and its members give towards gay and trans members - something nobody chooses and nobody wants in the first place, but some of us have and must address. We don’t have the luxury of ignoring these issues like the church does. Especially for trans individuals, who often must seek medical intervention in order to just survive, it’s about a whole lot more than simply “resisting temptation”. It’s a medical issue. Different than gay issues, but related in many ways. Your attitude, calling it “complaining”, is exactly why Utah and the Mormon corridor leads the nation in LGBT youth suicides, #1 cause of death for them. Every normal sized ward has several LGBT people in them, silently suffering from immense guilt and complexes over how this is approached in the church. Words _are_ weapons when it’s not handled with love and compassion, which it usually isn’t. Whether you believe its “sinful” or not, I don’t care. But I do care about how you treat others. What’s still being done now doesn’t work, and isn’t Christlike. It’s not unconditional love. Don’t think for a moment that LGBT members don’t know it’s considered “sinful”. Constant obsessing over this stuff, calling it out and being nasty about it does no good and only causes more hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and often substance abuse and suicide. I’ve been there so many times in my past. If you’re unwilling to learn about this, then please just stop commenting on it. Don’t dare think it’s people just “complaining” and wanting to do what they want. It’s people not wanting to suffer, enormous unnecessary suffering. Most members have enough of a complex over perfection and normal human issues. Add LGBT issues to the mix and it’s a whole different thing. I’ve never heard of a single LGBT person who’s ever not had these experiences in the church. And it’s not something that will ever go away for those who are gay or trans. Bishops & stake presidents especially really, really need education on this. Unless you’re fine with the current suicide epidemic to continue?
Hale Hafa quotes and testimonies mean nothing here, not sure why you keep repeating them. They do nothing to address the issues we’re discussing. Whether one has faith in the restored gospel or not doesn’t even apply, as it’s never going to allow someone to “overcome” their sexuality or gender identity. Doesn’t work like that.
I relate to his story on almost every level. Many of his experiences mirrored mine exactly. Hearing that someone else had the same life experiences as me, when so many people have told me that my experiences were atypical of a mormom kid, really makes me feel good. Thanks Tyler!
This resonates with me so much. My son is 13 and was told by his YM President that he couldn’t wear his pink pants to pass the sacrament because they were a “distraction”... I told him that I am buying him some awesome rainbow pants to wear if he wants to go back. (Hubby and I are in the “crisis” mode) we will happily go to church with our last child if it is where he feels joy in his heart. But seriously- do these leaders care more about intent or show?
They care about the money. And the control. I learned when I was going to church I was a convert. Me and my daughter went because I thought it would make her life easier and she would have more friends if we went to church. She was eight years old when she was baptized. We live in a small town 45 minutes north of Vegas in about an hour away from St. George Utah. We are predominantly Mormon here in my little valley. But I found out very quickly I had doubts from the very moment that the missionaries were in my home. I was already looking into the history at that point and they couldn’t even answer the questions that I was asking. I told them I was getting it right out of the Book of Mormon. It was crazy how much they didn’t even know of their own religion. I found out very quickly that if my husband was in a converse with me and we were not sealed I was never going to be excepted in to my little ward. I would go to sacrament meetings and they would put me in the beginning classes. The guy that was teaching the class couldn’t even get the levels of heaven correct he was all confused. I had to correct him. When I started asking questions in church next thing I knew I was being called into the bishops office. They basically told me to shut my mouth and to go with what was being taught and nothing more. I tried my best I did everything they asked of me. I showed up to church every Sunday I stayed all the way until relief society. I excepted my callings with grace. I paid my tithing. But I never once got my temple recommend and that was all because my husband wasn’t at church with me. After finding out too much history and finding out that there was no archaeological proof of anything that Joseph Smith mentioned in his book of Mormon. It became abundantly clear that he had plagiarized the Bible. And I would look around at the people in the church and be like, these are educated people. I see a doctor, a lawyer, a economics professor, business owner, teacher, judge. I couldn’t believe how incredibly stupid these people were and how easily they were led astray. It didn’t take much digging to find out that this church was not true. And it made me sick when they would put a baby that could barely talk up in the front and whisper in his ear to say I know this church is true. I opened up a cleaning business in this town six years ago. At first I had lots of Mormon clients. But when it got around that I was an apostate all of a sudden they were no longer my clients. Go figure🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Cmon lady obviously religion has an issue with control and power in ur church it’s just clothing and being shamed but in other religions and communities they’ll kill u for not falling in line. The answer to ur question should be obvious
I'm so glad Tyler made it out. He is free to think and be himself. I hope his whole family makes it out. I hate the control and guilt this church has on people.
I am a former LDS member from a family that has been LDS since the early days of the church. I never saw or experianced this control or guilt you mention. Having been born and raised LDS, all of my family and a good majority of my friends being LDS, you'd think if the control or guilt were so very present that I would have made note of it.
It's great if your family and friends are not guilt inducing. I have family and friends who have been shunned and have suffered a great deal. Guilt and shame of your own body being one.
+Non Mormon, I wonder if there are very many areas of life where this is not true? I wonder how many people have not experienced similar to some degree. People can be cruel and unloving in a church setting, in school, at the store, at a water coloring class... My point was not that this could not or never has happened within the LDS church, but that it certainly would not be the norm.
John Gagon not in my experience it isn't the norm. Not that my experience is the measuring stick for reality. Regardless, shunning, for any reason is not something I have often seen an LDS family or family members do towards others in their family. I've seen it, but could count all of those occasions on one hand probably.
Thuggee me too. Growing up with significant gender dysphoria in the church, the only healthy way I could move forward (and indeed only way to survive, literally) was to leave the church and shed all worries about what others thought about me. Aside from my immediate family (who was great about it), I really didn’t care what anyone else thought. I did what I needed to in order to be healthy, and it’s nearly impossible for a trans person to remain active and deal with their issues as they need to be. Some do, but it’s very rare and usually doesn’t last. It’s freeing, for sure, to shed to shame that was put on me by the church over nonsensical things that weren’t even my fault. I never lost my moral or ethical compass, but was able to discern for myself what made sense and what was just nonsense. I agree completely with you.
I can see the Temecula influence in the video "Everybody Talks". It's that plenty of space the air is warm in the evening vibe. Used to go to raves out there in the 1980's before it was called raves- just music parties out there where nobody will bother you. New York Dolls! David Bowie! Lou Reed, Andy Warhol and the Factory. They were my influences back in the 1970's along with Elton John. I have enjoyed this band Neon Trees and like their sense of humor. Thank you Tyler for your honesty and vulnerability! Very cool!
Gosh Pop Psychology was two years ago. It feels like just yesterday I was obsessed. I've been waiting for this interview every since I learned about Mormon Stories. So excited it's finally here!
I remember a radio man talk about his dad once. He said "about this time every morning we expect a call from this huge [Neon Trees] fan. He's a family member of one of the band members and we are always happy to fulfill his request." I had always wondered why 'animals' would hit the radio in Vegas years after it debuted (and was so stoked when it happened too).
I have so many questions. How did you find the music that inspired you in a Mormon culture? I'm at least 30 years older and I was definitely in the punk generation/alternative.
+The Lone Gamer I'm pretty sure it's not your job to decide that. He's going to hell because he's imperfect? Are we not all sinners? Yes, some of us make bigger mistakes than others, but that doesn't mean we should just say they're going to hell and move on. If you really want to be Christ-like, you should be a lot more sympathetic and loving. Christ didn't just say, "Well, you're going to hell, I'm not going to help you." He helped the sinners. That's what He's done since the beginning, so if you want to follow in His footsteps, you might want to be more loving. Doesn't mean you have to agree with Tyler, but love even the sinners.
@@peterwilkins507 I know. But I'm saying that the people who think it is, they can still be kind and respectful to people, especially for simply being who they are. One of the weirdest things to me is people telling others they can't be themselves
I'm a return missionary, I got home from my mission in 2005 and became an atheist in 2009. I'm glad for everyone who finds their way out of the church.
It is so irritating and disrespectful how little the interviewer knows about Neon Trees. What he does on his podcasts is great but I wish he'd have done a bit more research before this interview.
He's interviewing about a faith transition, not trying to become a pop/rock reporter. Allowing Tyler to tell his story in his words, without being asked AT is perfectly fine.
Kinda funny that you're trashing someone for the typical California dialect, while being able to spell Mormon properly and inserting tild marks where they don't belong.
I think gay kids are often the targets of abusers, especially if they are in more conservative communities because it's an additional thing that abusers can use to gain the child's trust and also to keep the child quiet.
The most profound part of this interview for me was that nothing has changed for gay men in the LDS Church. I came out in 1977 while at BYU. Everything Tyler reveals about his journey with his sexuality, mirrors what I and my gay friends went through while coping with our own sexual issues. Thirty plus years later and it's the same story, almost verbatim... That quite a hold the Church has on gay youth. It's part of their power that I find chilling. Yet people still believe, something I will never understand.
+Robert Wallace The church allows adulterers to get divorced and married and eventually even sealed to the person they committed adultery with. The church allows children of adulterers to be blessed, baptized and participate fully in the church without having to disavow their parents. Does that explain it?
+Robert Wallace well, i suppose Packer's passing especially will stop some of the fear mongering spread from the pulpit, so some of the mistreatment might dissipate....this same question could be asked of the blacks and women in the church, historically speaking......
If you are under 18 and one of your parents is gay, you have to disavow that parent's relationship and are not allowed to live with them if you want to be baptized. How is that not messed up?
Robert Wallace you’ll never get it until you try to put things in LGBT people’s shoes and see another perspective. We’re not rare, and every single LGBT person I know who grew up in the church has severe psychological scarring from the shaming that the church and its members give towards gay and trans members - something nobody chooses and nobody wants in the first place, but some of us have and must address. We don’t have the luxury of ignoring these issues like the church does. Especially for trans individuals, who often must seek medical intervention in order to just survive, it’s about a whole lot more than simply “resisting temptation”. It’s a medical issue. Different than gay issues, but related in many ways.
Your attitude, calling it “complaining”, is exactly why Utah and the Mormon corridor leads the nation in LGBT youth suicides, #1 cause of death for them. Every normal sized ward has several LGBT people in them, silently suffering from immense guilt and complexes over how this is approached in the church. Words _are_ weapons when it’s not handled with love and compassion, which it usually isn’t.
Whether you believe its “sinful” or not, I don’t care. But I do care about how you treat others. What’s still being done now doesn’t work, and isn’t Christlike. It’s not unconditional love. Don’t think for a moment that LGBT members don’t know it’s considered “sinful”. Constant obsessing over this stuff, calling it out and being nasty about it does no good and only causes more hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and often substance abuse and suicide. I’ve been there so many times in my past.
If you’re unwilling to learn about this, then please just stop commenting on it. Don’t dare think it’s people just “complaining” and wanting to do what they want. It’s people not wanting to suffer, enormous unnecessary suffering.
Most members have enough of a complex over perfection and normal human issues. Add LGBT issues to the mix and it’s a whole different thing. I’ve never heard of a single LGBT person who’s ever not had these experiences in the church. And it’s not something that will ever go away for those who are gay or trans. Bishops & stake presidents especially really, really need education on this. Unless you’re fine with the current suicide epidemic to continue?
Hale Hafa quotes and testimonies mean nothing here, not sure why you keep repeating them. They do nothing to address the issues we’re discussing. Whether one has faith in the restored gospel or not doesn’t even apply, as it’s never going to allow someone to “overcome” their sexuality or gender identity. Doesn’t work like that.
I relate to his story on almost every level. Many of his experiences mirrored mine exactly. Hearing that someone else had the same life experiences as me, when so many people have told me that my experiences were atypical of a mormom kid, really makes me feel good. Thanks Tyler!
HarunAlMalik me too
This resonates with me so much. My son is 13 and was told by his YM President that he couldn’t wear his pink pants to pass the sacrament because they were a “distraction”... I told him that I am buying him some awesome rainbow pants to wear if he wants to go back. (Hubby and I are in the “crisis” mode) we will happily go to church with our last child if it is where he feels joy in his heart. But seriously- do these leaders care more about intent or show?
They care about the money. And the control. I learned when I was going to church I was a convert. Me and my daughter went because I thought it would make her life easier and she would have more friends if we went to church. She was eight years old when she was baptized. We live in a small town 45 minutes north of Vegas in about an hour away from St. George Utah. We are predominantly Mormon here in my little valley. But I found out very quickly I had doubts from the very moment that the missionaries were in my home. I was already looking into the history at that point and they couldn’t even answer the questions that I was asking. I told them I was getting it right out of the Book of Mormon. It was crazy how much they didn’t even know of their own religion. I found out very quickly that if my husband was in a converse with me and we were not sealed I was never going to be excepted in to my little ward. I would go to sacrament meetings and they would put me in the beginning classes. The guy that was teaching the class couldn’t even get the levels of heaven correct he was all confused. I had to correct him. When I started asking questions in church next thing I knew I was being called into the bishops office. They basically told me to shut my mouth and to go with what was being taught and nothing more. I tried my best I did everything they asked of me. I showed up to church every Sunday I stayed all the way until relief society. I excepted my callings with grace. I paid my tithing. But I never once got my temple recommend and that was all because my husband wasn’t at church with me. After finding out too much history and finding out that there was no archaeological proof of anything that Joseph Smith mentioned in his book of Mormon. It became abundantly clear that he had plagiarized the Bible. And I would look around at the people in the church and be like, these are educated people. I see a doctor, a lawyer, a economics professor, business owner, teacher, judge. I couldn’t believe how incredibly stupid these people were and how easily they were led astray. It didn’t take much digging to find out that this church was not true. And it made me sick when they would put a baby that could barely talk up in the front and whisper in his ear to say I know this church is true. I opened up a cleaning business in this town six years ago. At first I had lots of Mormon clients. But when it got around that I was an apostate all of a sudden they were no longer my clients. Go figure🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Cmon lady obviously religion has an issue with control and power in ur church it’s just clothing and being shamed but in other religions and communities they’ll kill u for not falling in line. The answer to ur question should be obvious
I was SO in love with Tyler when I was a teenager. 😂 this interview is so interesting.
I still am 😅 was so over the moon to figure out about this interview, I don't know how I didn't think to see if tyler had been on here!
I love Tyler Glenn💕. Have always loved his music and feel he is so kind and intelligent. Plus he is handsome.
I'm so glad Tyler made it out. He is free to think and be himself. I hope his whole family makes it out. I hate the control and guilt this church has on people.
I am a former LDS member from a family that has been LDS since the early days of the church. I never saw or experianced this control or guilt you mention.
Having been born and raised LDS, all of my family and a good majority of my friends being LDS, you'd think if the control or guilt were so very present that I would have made note of it.
It's great if your family and friends are not guilt inducing. I have family and friends who have been shunned and have suffered a great deal. Guilt and shame of your own body being one.
+Non Mormon, I wonder if there are very many areas of life where this is not true?
I wonder how many people have not experienced similar to some degree.
People can be cruel and unloving in a church setting, in school, at the store, at a water coloring class...
My point was not that this could not or never has happened within the LDS church, but that it certainly would not be the norm.
It is the norm for gay members
John Gagon not in my experience it isn't the norm. Not that my experience is the measuring stick for reality.
Regardless, shunning, for any reason is not something I have often seen an LDS family or family members do towards others in their family.
I've seen it, but could count all of those occasions on one hand probably.
i stopped caring what other people thought and that helped me more i feel happier in myself for excepting myself
Thuggee me too. Growing up with significant gender dysphoria in the church, the only healthy way I could move forward (and indeed only way to survive, literally) was to leave the church and shed all worries about what others thought about me. Aside from my immediate family (who was great about it), I really didn’t care what anyone else thought. I did what I needed to in order to be healthy, and it’s nearly impossible for a trans person to remain active and deal with their issues as they need to be. Some do, but it’s very rare and usually doesn’t last.
It’s freeing, for sure, to shed to shame that was put on me by the church over nonsensical things that weren’t even my fault. I never lost my moral or ethical compass, but was able to discern for myself what made sense and what was just nonsense. I agree completely with you.
Love the music your band makes
I can see the Temecula influence in the video "Everybody Talks". It's that plenty of space the air is warm in the evening vibe. Used to go to raves out there in the 1980's before it was called raves- just music parties out there where nobody will bother you. New York Dolls! David Bowie! Lou Reed, Andy Warhol and the Factory. They were my influences back in the 1970's along with Elton John. I have enjoyed this band Neon Trees and like their sense of humor. Thank you Tyler for your honesty and vulnerability! Very cool!
Wow he's so beautiful
I absolutely love this interview. Robert Smith and the Smiths is my language
And I totally agree with all your hymn and primary song favorites to a scary close degree.
Ha ha! Me too!
Gosh Pop Psychology was two years ago. It feels like just yesterday I was obsessed. I've been waiting for this interview every since I learned about Mormon Stories. So excited it's finally here!
*ever
Thanks for sharing your story! Very Inspirational! Best of luck to you!
He’s so beautiful, I have a huge crush even though I’m a lesbian lol
I remember a radio man talk about his dad once. He said "about this time every morning we expect a call from this huge [Neon Trees] fan. He's a family member of one of the band members and we are always happy to fulfill his request." I had always wondered why 'animals' would hit the radio in Vegas years after it debuted (and was so stoked when it happened too).
I have so many questions. How did you find the music that inspired you in a Mormon culture? I'm at least 30 years older and I was definitely in the punk generation/alternative.
So did you watch his new music video yet
+The Lone Gamer I'm pretty sure it's not your job to decide that. He's going to hell because he's imperfect? Are we not all sinners? Yes, some of us make bigger mistakes than others, but that doesn't mean we should just say they're going to hell and move on. If you really want to be Christ-like, you should be a lot more sympathetic and loving. Christ didn't just say, "Well, you're going to hell, I'm not going to help you." He helped the sinners. That's what He's done since the beginning, so if you want to follow in His footsteps, you might want to be more loving. Doesn't mean you have to agree with Tyler, but love even the sinners.
Okay. I'm sorry. I just think that we all need to be compassionate toward each other.
@@flatsamiscool It's not a sin to be gay
@@peterwilkins507 I know. But I'm saying that the people who think it is, they can still be kind and respectful to people, especially for simply being who they are. One of the weirdest things to me is people telling others they can't be themselves
I'm a return missionary, I got home from my mission in 2005 and became an atheist in 2009. I'm glad for everyone who finds their way out of the church.
inkchild I got off my mission in 2005! We are both cool!!!
How are you doing these days?
hey the skulls are different?
Awesome interview!!
anyone got a link to that new york dolls movie?
they should have a discussion with BOTH dustin lance black and tyler glenn! both their stories are similar but so different at the same time.
It is so irritating and disrespectful how little the interviewer knows about Neon Trees. What he does on his podcasts is great but I wish he'd have done a bit more research before this interview.
He's interviewing about a faith transition, not trying to become a pop/rock reporter. Allowing Tyler to tell his story in his words, without being asked AT is perfectly fine.
He's so pretty with the beard tho
Senhor Jesus,por favor, faz com que uma boa alma faça a tradução dessa entrevista pra que eu possa entender, Ámen🙏
The Velour is a great place
This man is ex-mormon now I believe. The chuch did not work out for him, as it shouldnt.
I do not think I have ever heard the word "like" so many times in my life!~ Wears me out! Mormans are usually so well spoken.
yescandles Mormon, not Morman. Geez dude.
Different people express themselves in different ways. So what.
Kinda funny that you're trashing someone for the typical California dialect, while being able to spell Mormon properly and inserting tild marks where they don't belong.
this interview is pretty boring. this dude would have never been interviewed unless he was famous.
Shut up
Jealous, much?
I identify as a male lesbian. I like women...
Be quiet
Omggg us queers have never heard that one before. Well done. 🙄
Three years later, and you still aren't funny.
I think gay kids are often the targets of abusers, especially if they are in more conservative communities because it's an additional thing that abusers can use to gain the child's trust and also to keep the child quiet.