“They give themselves PERMISSION to treat your friend or family member in ways they don’t treat ANYBODY ELSE”! That is the core, to me, of the cognitive dissonance that results in the victim from their abusive partner. Thank you, Reene’ Hunt, for explaining the dynamics of hidden emotional abuse so succinctly. 🙏🏻🕊 One aspect that wasn’t discussed is the spiritual side of abuse, the evil spirits that influence morally depraved human behavior, and how people can stand against that. I would love to hear your understanding of that side of the coin. Thank you.
TFS.. I have never known how to share this info.. cuz the abuser is different in front of other ppl.. even telling them how much they love and admire their target.. and it’s hard to know how to explain something I cannot even understand myself. I spent yrs trying to figure out if I was imaging things- just too sensitive.. or if I was the actual problem person? After much prayer & research.. I was contacted by my husband’s ex-wife.. who shared her story.. and I felt like she was telling mine… except that they had kids together.. I believe that God allowed this to open my eyes and mind.. that I was not imagining or expecting too much. Thank you for helping ppl.. I pray that many will learn sooner than I did.. God did not create marriage to be this way. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Can you expand on how the victim starts to behave…complete personality change, from kind, empathetic, happy person to angry, blaming, negative towards family members
Emotional abuse can happen in non married intimate relationships as well. I have termed this hidden abuse, he loves me, he loves me not. The spouse moves between love bomb and devalue.
Yes, this was definitely amazing how it was explained so clearly on both sides really gives you a clear understanding of what’s going on inside a person‘s mind that is experiencing this.
I so appreciate your video. It was very validating and the perfect explanation of emotional abuse. I will definitely be sharing this with my support group. On another note, I have asked a few times for you all to make a video on sexual coercion. I think it is an epidemic especially in Christian marriages. Do you think any of you will make a video on this any time soon??? Thanks again for all you do❤
Good idea.. I know many wives feel guilted into a duty to meet the husband’s needs, regardless of how he treats them otherwise. My experience, which seems to be less common .. was the withholding of sex, affection of any kind. And cheating, using porn (to the extreme) while avoiding & insulting me. Telling me I was not attractive enough.. knowing that as a follower of Jesus, I would not consider going outside the marriage for affection of any kind. It was s cruel way of further abusing.. the emotional & verbal abuse got worse after he was jailed for physical abuse. He learned more subtle ways of behaving.. and it’s very difficult to share this. God bless you all for the platform..
This is all very familiar to me, I have finally gone no contact for the most part from our narcissistic daughter who literally worships her father, my husband and has contempt for me. I was the one with rules and boundaries when she was growing up but her father had no rules or boundaries, his favorite word was yes, when it came to the children.
This is how I am living. I am living with a person who acts like two ver different people, Who is as you say loving and warm, caring and certainly outside of the home this is how they are viewed, indeed very much so too. However, not the case inside the home behind closed doors. I am leaving as I cannot toerate it. I have put up with this literally intolerable behaviour since March when I moved in with him. I regret moving inn with him as my life alone was far preferable, i had all I needed except a loving partner to share with - this was the fake future I was proised through his love bombing. It was and is all his delusional fantasy world. It lasted two months - if that, and I wondered why he changed and what I had done. But it wasnt me at all. These people are predators
@@jana_yvonne_Jacobs I asked her why he said that and it was because she called him out on his behavior he sulked and told her he's abused. Then proceeded with above I stated. What a mess. She needs to watch this videos.🫤🫤
@@jana_yvonne_JacobsI don't want to encourage divorce here but I've had some bad girlfriends and they would never do that one! (Don't get me wrong, the worst one said I get why your parents and siblings hate you as a scapegoat)... But even that former monster of my life would not do that to me. That being said, maybe he had a bad day or maybe he's just...... I don't know... I know this though, you draw a line and you say "that's BULLSHIT!" In my humble opinion anyways. That crosses the line what he said. I'd have to say something at least as a dude to a chick in your shoes
My husband’s favorite quote “ You are not a wife, and never have been”.😢 I’ve been married for 20 years He also says “ I am going to find another woman who can show the kids what a real woman/wife/mother looks like” He says: You are not a good person Kids hate you Every one hates you I hate you Leave You are not a Christian Ignores me for months Glares nonstop Screams at me Corners me when I’m alone in the house Snarls his teeth when yelling at me Comes at me physically whipping his hat I’m still here. Showing physical signs of desperation. Been to docs to try to figure out what’s wrong with me. It’s the abuse I finally figured out.
Best description of covert emotional abuse I have ever heard! My husband is wonderful and destructive side by side!!! Thank you for this insight!!!
“They give themselves PERMISSION to treat your friend or family member in ways they don’t treat ANYBODY ELSE”! That is the core, to me, of the cognitive dissonance that results in the victim from their abusive partner. Thank you, Reene’ Hunt, for explaining the dynamics of hidden emotional abuse so succinctly. 🙏🏻🕊 One aspect that wasn’t discussed is the spiritual side of abuse, the evil spirits that influence morally depraved human behavior, and how people can stand against that. I would love to hear your understanding of that side of the coin. Thank you.
Finally, someone speaks the words of what I didn't have. Thank you so much.
TFS.. I have never known how to share this info.. cuz the abuser is different in front of other ppl.. even telling them how much they love and admire their target.. and it’s hard to know how to explain something I cannot even understand myself. I spent yrs trying to figure out if I was imaging things- just too sensitive.. or if I was the actual problem person? After much prayer & research.. I was contacted by my husband’s ex-wife.. who shared her story.. and I felt like she was telling mine… except that they had kids together.. I believe that God allowed this to open my eyes and mind.. that I was not imagining or expecting too much. Thank you for helping ppl.. I pray that many will learn sooner than I did.. God did not create marriage to be this way. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Can you expand on how the victim starts to behave…complete personality change, from kind, empathetic, happy person to angry, blaming, negative towards family members
Yes, I am starting to be like that with my kids, 8 years later...and I don't even feel myself anymore:(
Emotional abuse can happen in non married intimate relationships as well.
I have termed this hidden abuse, he loves me, he loves me not.
The spouse moves between love bomb and devalue.
Yes, this was definitely amazing how it was explained so clearly on both sides really gives you a clear understanding of what’s going on inside a person‘s mind that is experiencing this.
Yes, he even runs to help women opening doors, carrying bags. Slams the door in my face, expects me to carry the bags.
Thank you. This video was very educational.
Very good video, I think a family member is going through this…looking forward to part 2 on this topic
Thank you, your voice is so soothing ❤
I so appreciate your video. It was very validating and the perfect explanation of emotional abuse. I will definitely be sharing this with my support group. On another note, I have asked a few times for you all to make a video on sexual coercion. I think it is an epidemic especially in Christian marriages. Do you think any of you will make a video on this any time soon???
Thanks again for all you do❤
Good idea.. I know many wives feel guilted into a duty to meet the husband’s needs, regardless of how he treats them otherwise. My experience, which seems to be less common .. was the withholding of sex, affection of any kind. And cheating, using porn (to the extreme) while avoiding & insulting me. Telling me I was not attractive enough.. knowing that as a follower of Jesus, I would not consider going outside the marriage for affection of any kind. It was s cruel way of further abusing.. the emotional & verbal abuse got worse after he was jailed for physical abuse. He learned more subtle ways of behaving.. and it’s very difficult to share this. God bless you all for the platform..
Beautifullly said
Correction - no warmth. Absolute coldness
Cold and apathetic.
I get the silent treatment from my dad's wife because she doesn't like me. She's been jealous of me for 25 years. She talks to everybody else though
This is all very familiar to me, I have finally gone no contact for the most part from our narcissistic daughter who literally worships her father, my husband and has contempt for me. I was the one with rules and boundaries when she was growing up but her father had no rules or boundaries, his favorite word was yes, when it came to the children.
This is how I am living. I am living with a person who acts like two ver different people, Who is as you say loving and warm, caring and certainly outside of the home this is how they are viewed, indeed very much so too. However, not the case inside the home behind closed doors. I am leaving as I cannot toerate it. I have put up with this literally intolerable behaviour since March when I moved in with him. I regret moving inn with him as my life alone was far preferable, i had all I needed except a loving partner to share with - this was the fake future I was proised through his love bombing. It was and is all his delusional fantasy world. It lasted two months - if that, and I wondered why he changed and what I had done. But it wasnt me at all. These people are predators
My friend has a Spouse who tells her she isn't a wife a friend or a woman!! 😡😡
Yip mine has told me too i am a bad wife … not as good as my sisters.. if only i were like my sisters..
@@jana_yvonne_Jacobs
I asked her why he said that and it was because she called him out on his behavior he sulked and told her he's abused. Then proceeded with above I stated. What a mess. She needs to watch this videos.🫤🫤
@@jana_yvonne_JacobsI don't want to encourage divorce here but I've had some bad girlfriends and they would never do that one! (Don't get me wrong, the worst one said I get why your parents and siblings hate you as a scapegoat)... But even that former monster of my life would not do that to me.
That being said, maybe he had a bad day or maybe he's just...... I don't know...
I know this though, you draw a line and you say "that's BULLSHIT!"
In my humble opinion anyways. That crosses the line what he said. I'd have to say something at least as a dude to a chick in your shoes
My husband’s favorite quote “ You are not a wife, and never have been”.😢
I’ve been married for 20 years
He also says “ I am going to find another woman who can show the kids what a real woman/wife/mother looks like”
He says:
You are not a good person
Kids hate you
Every one hates you
I hate you
Leave
You are not a Christian
Ignores me for months
Glares nonstop
Screams at me
Corners me when I’m alone in the house
Snarls his teeth when yelling at me
Comes at me physically whipping his hat
I’m still here. Showing physical signs of desperation. Been to docs to try to figure out what’s wrong with me. It’s the abuse I finally figured out.
Yip! So much confusion
Cant hear you.