If you want the flip side to this video (i.e., a set of amazing, printable question cards), I've made them available for free right here: weand.me/tools/
These are great tools to add to our listening toolkit which will make us more empathetic listeners. So easy to forget that sometimes just being able to listen well will help us connect with people better. And connection is really what drives outcomes. Thank you Chad !
Excellent, Darian! Would love to hear what you think of the book. There are a couple hundred other video tutorials across the channel as well if you get curious :-)
Thank you for this! I get told on a constant basis that I ask too many questions. In both a positive and a negative way. I find that I am usually the one driving conversations forward through questions. Do you have any tips on how to start a conversation or move forward a conversation without asking questions? I usually take what people say and expand on it through a question. I love how the conversations go, but people say it can be exhausting to always be questioned. Also, I feel no one really gets to know my thoughts/feelings/life because I’m always the one diving deeper into their thoughts.
i am in the exact same situation. i feel like people dont reach out to me cause its just that i know them but they dont know me, im always the person who first texts. im trying to have better conversations with not too many questions.
I have started to ask people the question, "what are you curious to ask me about?" Or some (more emotional intelligent) variation of that question. It's amazing to see brains turn on when they move from statements to questions.
Well that's exactly what I feel about myself. I face issue in particular when I am trying to do conversation with girls/women. Particulalrly on date apps like tinder etc. Some of the profiles they even mention that those who ask questions stay away. I am like how to keep a conversation going without asking a question to a completely unknown person. I love to go deep into conversation and the other's perspective by asking question. I equally love to receive questions also. But mostly its me who asks question and probably they feel like it's an interrogation or something. But my intention is always to get the conversation rolling. But slowly realizing I am just not good anymore. I used to be better say 8-9 years ago. But not anymore. There is something I am missing. I would love to interact with someone who asks questions. You mentioned you ask questions...I say keep doing that. Would love to interact with you.
Wow I thought I was the only one with this issue, what’s crazy is that you have folks that just give you one word answers to your questions and they just stay there saying nothing lol
Thank you once again, Chad for providing specific tools that I can use when working with new teachers during coaching conversations. I certainly found 2 or 3 that I don't usually use and try them today. I urge people to subscribe and view your clips.
Aww! Thanks so much, Carra! This is amazing. Double thanks for sharing as well. These videos aren't worth anything without awesome humans like you to watch, enjoy, and use them to make a difference!
Very timely topic since I just completed some work training this morning where almost all participants, including myself, indicated a need to listen better and to ask better questions. Thanks, Chad! I enjoy your videos and learn something new each time. I also now have some new phrases to use so that I don't "sound like Dr. Phil!" :-)
The way we listen has the power to change what people say. I am 100% convinced of this. Glad this was timely and relevant for you and your participants!
@@eddiedelahoz indeed a reflection does serve as a prompt that provides a choice to respond with clarification, correction, or amplification of what somebody shared. Thanks for noticing...and reflecting 😉
Have you shared your intention for asking so many questions? I wonder if they could get behind that. This video might be useful: th-cam.com/video/KK9KU97bPcg/w-d-xo.html
Hmm. This is where you are reflecting back and connecting two ideas (or people) from a previous point in the conversation. Or even before that. Do have a copy of Ask Powerful Questions: Create Conversations that Matter by chance? I can direct you to a specific page that maps out this whole idea better than I can in a TH-cam comment. Let me know and I'll find/send the proper chapter/page number.
I have a problem with my husband, he keeps complaining that I keep asking him too many questions and it feels like interrogation to him. I want to know how to have conversations with a private and a reserved man? Because I tend to dive into questions mode in order to get things out of him and it's frustrating to both of us.
I'll hold off on giving out advice for your specific marriage, but I do think there is a fine line between respecting privacy and following our natural curiosity. So important to not turn the people around us into objects of our curiosity. I wonder what his ideal style of communication would be. And is there a middle ground? My wife and I try to set aside at least 45 minutes to sit down and ONLY focus on each other, check-in, and open up as to how we are REALLY doing. Of course there is tons of other communication, but that dedicated 45 minutes ends up accomplishing so much authentic connection in such a short period.
Hey I struggle with asking too many questions and my friends just say why do U ask so many questions do u have any tips for me to not ask so manny questions
What a wonderful and unique problem to have. It means you’ve got a default toward a learning mindset. At the same time, a conversation without self disclosure is an interrogation. I’d be curious to know how you relate-or don’t relate-to what their saying. Starting off a sentence with “for me…” is typically a way to hack your brain toward sharing a piece of yourself with another person. What do you think bothers your friends about all the questions?
Hi @IQ, I understand how you feel. I was accused of the same thing and found this video because I did a search on how to ask questions without interrogating people. I was told that I ask too many questions and I ask them too quickly. The person said they felt like I was interviewing them so I could put them into a box instead of allowing a relationship to develop organically. To answer Chad’s question, I felt like I couldn’t understand a lot of what the person was telling me. It was like we used the English language differently. So, even though I wasn’t actually that interested in the topic they were talking about, I kept asking questions to try to understand why it was important to them and what they meant when they used certain words in a context that was unfamiliar to me. I suggested we stop talking for a while because I didn’t know how to have a conversation without asking questions. I don’t know if they will give me a second chance, but I will try to use these reflective listening techniques the next time I find myself in a conversation with someone I don’t understand well. Thanks!
Hi Chad thanks for your great videos and I have learnt a lot. I have just ordered some of your products and I was wondering where you get your other props from like the giant ear and signs? I work as a trainer and I want to make training fun and exciting!
Wonderful, Stan! The signs are mostly custom printed. However the ear came from Michelle Cummings at Training Wheels and she sells this wonderful "body part debrief" kit and some other tools!
If you want to go beyond "just the facts" which is often the very surface of a conversation, offering an educated assumption and reflecting it back to that person is a way of "questioning your assumption" with them. We all make assumptions. The tool for better communication is to question those assumptions-with good intentions and a splash of empathy of course.
If you want the flip side to this video (i.e., a set of amazing, printable question cards), I've made them available for free right here: weand.me/tools/
I absolutely needed this. I’m up there in age but it’s never to late to start. ❤
I am a new trainer for the State. I’ve been adding some of your tips to my virtual classes and they work wonders. Thank you 🙏
DaMar! Missed this comment a couple months ago, but I'm so pumped to hear this. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, i think you unlocked me different ways to talk
Fun! Especially because the way we talk fundamentally changes what tomorrow looks like in many cases. Talking differently opens new pathways.
Thank you, Chad. I love these tools for reflective listening to add to my back pocket. Going to try some new phrases in teaching and 1:1 meetings.
Awesome! Love hearing this, Kimberly. Thanks for sharing. Even the best communicators amongst us could always use a bit of a refresh!
These are great tools to add to our listening toolkit which will make us more empathetic listeners. So easy to forget that sometimes just being able to listen well will help us connect with people better. And connection is really what drives outcomes. Thank you Chad !
The way that we listen absolutely has the power to change what people say! Thanks for commenting and sharing, Tony. Love hearing from you here.
excellent
Many many thanks
Wow! This was valuable.
Thanks, Corey! Love knowing this was useful for you, mate. Lots more where that came from across the channel 👍
This video helped tremendously, and I have the book to further educate myself
Excellent, Darian! Would love to hear what you think of the book. There are a couple hundred other video tutorials across the channel as well if you get curious :-)
So what I gather here is that you are awesome 😊
Love this video. Just wanted to pop in and say, that shirt looks so good on you.
Ha! Thanks. I think I've worn it to its last thread though 😊
Thank you for this! I get told on a constant basis that I ask too many questions. In both a positive and a negative way.
I find that I am usually the one driving conversations forward through questions.
Do you have any tips on how to start a conversation or move forward a conversation without asking questions?
I usually take what people say and expand on it through a question. I love how the conversations go, but people say it can be exhausting to always be questioned.
Also, I feel no one really gets to know my thoughts/feelings/life because I’m always the one diving deeper into their thoughts.
i am in the exact same situation. i feel like people dont reach out to me cause its just that i know them but they dont know me, im always the person who first texts. im trying to have better conversations with not too many questions.
I have started to ask people the question, "what are you curious to ask me about?" Or some (more emotional intelligent) variation of that question. It's amazing to see brains turn on when they move from statements to questions.
Well that's exactly what I feel about myself. I face issue in particular when I am trying to do conversation with girls/women. Particulalrly on date apps like tinder etc. Some of the profiles they even mention that those who ask questions stay away. I am like how to keep a conversation going without asking a question to a completely unknown person.
I love to go deep into conversation and the other's perspective by asking question. I equally love to receive questions also. But mostly its me who asks question and probably they feel like it's an interrogation or something. But my intention is always to get the conversation rolling. But slowly realizing I am just not good anymore. I used to be better say 8-9 years ago. But not anymore. There is something I am missing.
I would love to interact with someone who asks questions. You mentioned you ask questions...I say keep doing that. Would love to interact with you.
Wow I thought I was the only one with this issue, what’s crazy is that you have folks that just give you one word answers to your questions and they just stay there saying nothing lol
Thank you once again, Chad for providing specific tools that I can use when working with new teachers during coaching conversations. I certainly found 2 or 3 that I don't usually use and try them today. I urge people to subscribe and view your clips.
Aww! Thanks so much, Carra! This is amazing. Double thanks for sharing as well. These videos aren't worth anything without awesome humans like you to watch, enjoy, and use them to make a difference!
Very timely topic since I just completed some work training this morning where almost all participants, including myself, indicated a need to listen better and to ask better questions. Thanks, Chad! I enjoy your videos and learn something new each time. I also now have some new phrases to use so that I don't "sound like Dr. Phil!" :-)
The way we listen has the power to change what people say. I am 100% convinced of this. Glad this was timely and relevant for you and your participants!
Reflection is the same as a question
Translation is a question without admitting it's a question
@@eddiedelahoz indeed a reflection does serve as a prompt that provides a choice to respond with clarification, correction, or amplification of what somebody shared. Thanks for noticing...and reflecting 😉
honestly i just ask too many question whenever i talk to my friends, and i feel like its annoying towards them
Have you shared your intention for asking so many questions? I wonder if they could get behind that. This video might be useful: th-cam.com/video/KK9KU97bPcg/w-d-xo.html
Last point connecting dots i didint understood much please help me
Hmm. This is where you are reflecting back and connecting two ideas (or people) from a previous point in the conversation. Or even before that. Do have a copy of Ask Powerful Questions: Create Conversations that Matter by chance? I can direct you to a specific page that maps out this whole idea better than I can in a TH-cam comment. Let me know and I'll find/send the proper chapter/page number.
@@chad.littlefield so sir,i dont have that book
I have a problem with my husband, he keeps complaining that I keep asking him too many questions and it feels like interrogation to him. I want to know how to have conversations with a private and a reserved man? Because I tend to dive into questions mode in order to get things out of him and it's frustrating to both of us.
I'll hold off on giving out advice for your specific marriage, but I do think there is a fine line between respecting privacy and following our natural curiosity. So important to not turn the people around us into objects of our curiosity. I wonder what his ideal style of communication would be. And is there a middle ground? My wife and I try to set aside at least 45 minutes to sit down and ONLY focus on each other, check-in, and open up as to how we are REALLY doing. Of course there is tons of other communication, but that dedicated 45 minutes ends up accomplishing so much authentic connection in such a short period.
Gonna show this in my social work class, this is ideal for social work students learning how to listen and respond to clients!
Yessss!! You could photocopy the page with this list from Ask Powerful Questions to share out as well. Or send out the PDF rather #modern
Hey I struggle with asking too many questions and my friends just say why do U ask so many questions do u have any tips for me to not ask so manny questions
What a wonderful and unique problem to have. It means you’ve got a default toward a learning mindset. At the same time, a conversation without self disclosure is an interrogation.
I’d be curious to know how you relate-or don’t relate-to what their saying. Starting off a sentence with “for me…” is typically a way to hack your brain toward sharing a piece of yourself with another person.
What do you think bothers your friends about all the questions?
@@chad.littlefield my friend says like I just don’t really ask questions on topic and then just ask dumb ones or something random
Hi @IQ, I understand how you feel. I was accused of the same thing and found this video because I did a search on how to ask questions without interrogating people. I was told that I ask too many questions and I ask them too quickly. The person said they felt like I was interviewing them so I could put them into a box instead of allowing a relationship to develop organically.
To answer Chad’s question, I felt like I couldn’t understand a lot of what the person was telling me. It was like we used the English language differently. So, even though I wasn’t actually that interested in the topic they were talking about, I kept asking questions to try to understand why it was important to them and what they meant when they used certain words in a context that was unfamiliar to me.
I suggested we stop talking for a while because I didn’t know how to have a conversation without asking questions. I don’t know if they will give me a second chance, but I will try to use these reflective listening techniques the next time I find myself in a conversation with someone I don’t understand well. Thanks!
Hi Chad thanks for your great videos and I have learnt a lot. I have just ordered some of your products and I was wondering where you get your other props from like the giant ear and signs? I work as a trainer and I want to make training fun and exciting!
Wonderful, Stan! The signs are mostly custom printed. However the ear came from Michelle Cummings at Training Wheels and she sells this wonderful "body part debrief" kit and some other tools!
I'm grateful you've found the channel too, Stan. Welcome!
@@chad.littlefield Thanks for your quick response can't wait to see what other fun and exciting videos you do next 😁
So effectively I'm getting: just make educated assumptions?
If you want to go beyond "just the facts" which is often the very surface of a conversation, offering an educated assumption and reflecting it back to that person is a way of "questioning your assumption" with them. We all make assumptions. The tool for better communication is to question those assumptions-with good intentions and a splash of empathy of course.