THE DOs AND DON’Ts OF LIVING IN DENMARK: Advice for Americans Moving to Denmark
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ค. 2024
- THE DO’S AND DON’TS FOR LIVING IN DENMARK: Advice for Americans Moving to Denmark
#Denmark #Danmark #MovingToDenmark
In this video, we discuss an email we received from an American moving to Copenhagen that wanted to know how to fit into Danish culture. He asked for advice to fit in quickly while living in Denmark and if we could offer some “do’s and don’ts for living in Denmark”.
Here are the 8 do’s and don’ts for living in Denmark and adjusting to Danish culture.
Do Tone it down a little bit
The easiest Americans are pragmatic, sensible and down to earth
If you are overly aggressive or pushy it can rub people the wrong way
Overall just show that you are interested in them as a person and that you are sincere
Don’t Completely lose your American identity
Danes will never expect you to become a Dane - and you never will
Don’t lose sight of you are and where you are from - no one expects you to do that
Share your experiences - Danes are interested in American and American culture from pop-culture or travel. They will want to share their opinions and experiences, and you can use that as a connection
Do talk about
Sports - especially football and handball
Decoration and Home Projects - Danes think of themselves as amateur contractors and interior designers, and all people! Great conversation starter;
Politics…..carefully Danes love to discuss politics and prefer to have conversations that are more than superficial. They also think they know a lot about American politics, but some of the details or nuance can be lost.
Don’t talk about
Religion, it is a private matter, and a very personal one. Stay away from this one unless you are super close. It is seen as a bit of an intrusion.
Hot-button issues like race, Islamophobia, etc. DIfferent countries have different histories, and Denmark tends to be less “politically correct” than Americans right, wrong or otherwise. These are risky topics, especially with people who have very different personal experiences than yours.
Mocking the Danish language. Yes it is hard to understand and has weird sounds. But they’ve heard all the jokes. The Danish language is a source of pride - especially in a country where so many speak English - and it both unifies Danes and also provides a unique identity.
Do learn some Danish
Even if you only know the basics it shows are making an effort and is always well received
Do take some Danish classes - if you live here you should at least make an attempt to learn the language
Don’t expect an invitation into a Danes home right away
homes are prized possessions and a visit is taken much more than in America.
Don’t expect to get an invitation (or make it sound like you are asking for one). Visiting one at home usually is for a purpose - a dinner or a party.
Do learn a little bit about Denmark
Danes know a lot about America, so it is certainly good form to be able to show you have learned a little bit about the country. Danes tend to have a lot of interest in Danish history, and enjoy a good conversation to tell stories. Perhaps something about the Royal family, Danish musicians or even a Danish TV show like The Killing or Borgen.
Don’t expect it all to happen right away!
You are moving into a new country with its own culture and norms
Danes do tend to keep smaller (but deeper) friend groups than you may be used to in the US, but they are not at all unfriendly or cold as you may read.
CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
0:58 - Do tone it down
2:05 - Don’t lose your American self
3:38 - Do talk about popular topics
6:05 - Don’t talk about risky topics
9:02 - Do learn some Danish
10:43 - Don’t expect to be invited over
12:01 - Do learn about Denmark
13:01 - Don’t expect too much too soon
14:17 - Final thoughts
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Just my input. To be invited into a danish home is a sign of trust and acceptance. We don't invite strangers into our homes, and for the first time you are invited, it is a sign that we will like to get to know you better.
Thank you for adding this Peter, it's so well-stated. Americans can be pretty "fast and loose" with home invites so it's a good thing for new arrivals to be aware of and not take personally.
It's our private place. Homes in Denmark are very private places and not for strangers to encroach upon. conversely, in public we are also very... well, individual, rather than over-friendly. But it's not really a negative thing. We are comfortable with it and we enjoy it when we have a quick chat in the local grocery store, etc.
At least that's how it is here in Copenhagen where I live.
And may I add. If you are invited come on time not an hour late 6 PM mean 6 PM. For Danes this is showing respect for the host and his/hers time.
@@andreashavsland6078 And no it's not wrong to arrive 15 minutes early for something, specially if you have a variable travel-time depending on how far away you travel from. Being a little early is never bad. Just don't go overboard. And for like Job interviews, arriving early is fine from my experience, just mention you accidentally arrived a bit too early and they'll most likely mention you can take a seat and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee or some such. It's the arriving LATE thing that's an issue. Why plan a 'starts at TIME' and then not arrive for that time? Unless it's literally a 'come and go party that begins at 6' or some such, cuz then it's a clearly set up thing for such a situation. :p
Maybe bring a bottle of wine....
One comment about speaking Danish: If you generally speak English and then switch to Danish and try out that Danish sentence you've been constructing in your mind for the past 2-3 minutes, don't be discouraged if the person you speak to doesn't understand what you just said. If my Danish ears are "tuned to" English, expecting English, and then suddenly the other person speaks Danish, then I simply won't understand what you just said. Same goes if my ear hears a thick American accent - then I'll maybe be expecting that the words you are saying to me are English. The problem is not necessarily because your pronounciation was terrible. I just wasn't switched onto "now-expect-and-detect-Danish-language" mode. In other words: anything you say in Danish won't sound like the English words I am expecting out of your mouth. So it's not that what you said in Danish it doesn't sound like Danish; it's more that what you said in Danish doesn't sound like the English I was expecting and "tuned into". So if you see the other person not understanding your Danish, just repeat what you said. Or maybe preface it with "I switched to Danish" and then repeat what you said. Don't be discouraged.
I had a swedish girlfriend (I´m danish) when I lived in New York and her english was with a very heavy swedish accent. I had a hard time understanding her no matter whether she spoke english or swedish for the first couple of sentences not knowing what to expect.
This is great advice, and something we only recently realized. Since we aren’t proficient enough to speak only on Danish we have tried to slip some Danish words in here or there and it only confuses our friends and they tell us to pick one or the other 😂 it’s for exactly the reason that you described.
i have never thought that this is the problem.. i ham two friends some argentina, and they switch suddenly and i never understand. i kinda feel bad, cus i know my hearing is bad, but not that bad. im gonna tell this to them! they always get so discuraged. very helpfull, even for a dane XD
This is SO true. I usually speak English with my husband and sometimes he'll just randomly say a Danish sentence and ask me if it's correct and I'll be staring at him like: "What the hell just came out of your mouth?"
I have trouble enough understanding danes sometimes, some do as I do. we get lazy and dont pronounce the whole word. that is also why I tend to switch to english quickly, I am too lazy to work at understanding people who are not fluent in danish. even with our scandinavian brothers it is easier to switch to english. that beind said I agree it is important to try learning the language.
Danish term is “stick your finger in the ground” - basically test the waters, see how others do things. But also don’t be afraid to ask why we do something the way we do it.
And very important. You should never brag about being rich, good at sport, etc.
Great addition. Americans get pretty obsessed with winning and bragging about being the best at something. It’s a quick way to stick out.
Yep! Bragging is a BIG no-go.
If you deserve to be praised, others will do it.
Who said Jantelov :-))
@@RobeTrotting pretty generalizing, a dick in the US is a dick in Denmark .
@@ane-louisestampe7939 actually Bible (Proverbs) said it first haha
@Quack Epistemologist Then youre no better than anybody else. You'll properbly get credit for being good at a sport or something, but if your no better. We dont like when people brag. Do it too much and people will loose interest in you.
Janteloven is properbly a subcouncious reason why it is this way, but personally I don't wanna spend time listening to someone telling me how good they are at something. I'll give them credit and so, but I don't want to listen to it.
That's a simplified answer from a dane :)
My friend which have a spanish Wife, told me that one of the ways she improved rather quickly in danish(when she first moved here), was by watching Television with her small children, because they spoke slowly and it was easy to understand what the meaning of the story (granted its not the most complicated story lines there for children aged 4-5).
Great idea! We actually read some children's books in Danish classes for the same reason 😀🇩🇰
@@RobeTrotting 2 new viewers for Ramasjang?
@@vrenak
😂😂😂
Argantyr, my neighbor who was swedish, worked in a kindergarden, and stubbornly stuck to speaking swedish ... the parent complained, but the kids had no problems understanding what she said 😁
Self irony, "Janteloven" and a bit of dark humor goes a long way in Denmark. I've ever only found a similar humor in Scotland so it's quite unique I guess. 😂
That's nice to hear for me, a Scot planning on moving to Denmark, at least I can be confident that my humour should land somewhat well with the Danes 😅
@@epender from my travels to Scotland, I would hazard a guess and say you'll probably fit right in here in Denmark.
If you speak some of the oldest dialects from Eastern/north-eastern Scotland, you might even find Danes speaking a dialect you can sort of understand!
Don’t ever brag!
Ha ha I’m going to enjoy this.
I build one Ikea BEKVÄM and suddenly I'm a carpenter. Can confirm.
i ones try to surf on the roof of a leopard 2A5 tank got really wet when the tank driver hit the breaks before a creak.
In regards to language: ASK, ASK WAY!!! Ask how its pronounced, spelled, why its like that and what it means. We LOVE teaching others our language since we never meet anyone outside of Denmark who isnt a dane, who knows it!
You will never understand the joy in meeting other danes when youre out on vacation in foreign countries. Its like an instant friendship.
My family still talks and follows the lives of another danish family we met in Croatia 13 years ago.
Also don't be late to meetings and social gatherings, take off your shoes when you finally do get invited to someone's house, and know that in Jutland it is actually a compliment if someone says "well, it could be worse" about something ;)
I can see now that it's actually a little ambivalent moving to Denmark. On one side we are very private and can be hard to get to know, and on the other we also provoke and tease on so many topics that must seem tough to find the red line of society here.
Don't be afraid of asking your Danish friends for help with the language!
I actually helped an employee of mine a bit with danish at work, he asked what words that had several meanings meant in different uses, and pronunciations, etc.
He's from Egypt and a super nice guy, and his danish is really really good, he has accent of course, but is basically fluent and has only been here for a few years now. He even surprised me one day and said that he was in Copenhagen in the weekend and had a Hotdog with a ''Pølse i svøb'' sausage wrapped in bacon, he's a true Dane now! 😂 He's also had other pork products and loves them to the moon 😄
Does he mention the weather as the first thing he says to you besides hi? When a "foreigner" starts talking about the weather as the first topic you know the integration has been to "UG med kryds og slange".
Best advice came last.... be your self, the only way!,
You loose the respect the second they realize you are superficial... good work guys ;-)
It really is the only part you need to hear haha. Thanks so much for watching 😀🇩🇰
@@RobeTrotting I watch every time, as a dane living in Germany its fun to hear what people coming to DK think about the culture, coming to Germany for me was also a total different culture to experience...totally different!!
I want to move to Denmark one day, I've been learning the language for about 4 years now, and I really just want to make some friends and experience something new!
Oh that’s so awesome! We love it here, beat decision we ever made. Good luck on your quest and please let us know when you make it here 😃😃😃🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰
I've been living in Denmark for 25 years, and you guys just nail it every time. Your do's and don't list is spot on. Denmark is a great country, but it takes some time to integrate. But, when you get a Danish friend, you have a friend for life. And yes, learn the language. If you plan a longer stay it's really worth it. Danes are great at English, but they'd much rather speak Danish.
Agreed - theese guys really nail it every single time 👍🏻❤️
PCBIF, I talked to and american who had been distributing exchange students to american families for 30 years, about who were best at speaking english ... swedish, dutch, norwegian, danish? Danish! No doubt 😀
My brother has been living i Orange County CA for 30 years ... says my english is better that most of the people around him 😂😂😂
Thanks for your videos! I'm moving to Copenhagen in the fall from Seattle and they're very helpful.
Hope you will enjoy your time here ☺️
Interesting! Hope you will feel comfortable once you arrive! : )
Welcome ❤️
Hope you will have a great time :)
My girl and stepson are American and so want to go, but she's afraid to fly (or crash I guess... afraid of plane anyway) so I go there instead as much as possible
"Don't bring your American approach to religion into Danish conversation" is no joke...
Denmark is on paper a "protestant-country", but we have a word to describe our view called "kulturkristen" (Culture-christian) meaning that we believe in "love thy neighbor" but that is basically where our religiousness stops
So.. If you come with a Bible-belt view about Jesus being your personal lord and savior, and say stuff like "God, have mercy on your soul" in conversation, just be ready to either alienate whomever your are talking to and/or see us try really hard to hide our cringing body language.
We are really NOT trying to be rude, but it is so far removed from everything we value here in Denmark. We just don't understand that level of devotion to any religion.
We love the approach, religion is used to divide people in the States and to look down on others - we find it's much better in Denmark.
Haha. I skip ahead in movies with heavy "god material", i can't stomach it. Really hate how often they throw it down your throat. I will seek it out when i need it ! And if i dont seek it out, well keep it too yourself pretty please :)
That's not bad religion belongs in fantasy movies not real life
As a dane, I agree, you will even lose friends being that religious. + not everyone care about sports. I havnt seen any sports involving danes in 5 years
@@RobeTrotting what lorentari says applies to the majority of norwegians as well. honestly, if i invited americans home for dinner, put the food on the table, said "vær så god, forsyn dere", and they said "let´s say grace", i would not invite them back anymore
Once again you’re spot on! Don’t make fun of our language, don’t talk about religion and definitely know what handball is 😂 and don’t forget, if you want to do small talk with a Dane: talk about the weather! Love the video ❤️
Also - Do not think you're better than everyone else. We are all equal human beings and we don't care if you're a super CEO guy or a regular gas station worker.
Oh I love when someone makes fun of our language, we know it's hard and it does sound awful. I find German horrendous but I'm quite sure that Danish sounds the same for them 😁
And DO NOT go into subjects as disciplining your children, we do NOT spank hit or punish our children here and it's NOT allowed, don't even talk about slaps or anything that goes near. Been in MANY heated arguments with Americans because they tend to see it differently. You'd be feeling my wrath if one feels that's the way to raise children. And you wouldn't be seeing me again.
@@FruPetersen2011 It's humorous and I find it more fun to correct them and then see if they even get a step closer to correct pronounciation X3
@@kinagrill People learning Danish or what do you mean? ☺️
Jeg har sgu ikke noget imod at snakke om religion.
You guys are awsome. And I so much appreciate your very respectful way of talking about Danes and Denmark and about your experiences here. Yes, I'm a Dane myself but I would appreciate it just the same if you were talking with the same kind of respect about any other country and its inhabitants 👍🙏😊
Danish way of socialising: it's planned. We agree to meet, you can't just pop around as a surprise :D Also, home is for friends. I didn't even invite my son's playdate and her mom over, we met at a playground instead
Regarding friendships: we have close friends, friends, aquantances... Our close friend circle is usually small, and they're also the ones invited to come by. Friends are usually those invited to parties or bigger get togethers. At least to me :)
Great explanation, thanks so much for adding this! And we agree, that seems to be very much that way things are and it’s a bit different than how Americans may be used to - but this will help them not take it the wrong way.
Playdate....the most pernicious word in the English language. "My sons playdate and her mom"...so you pick your child's friends, and where they will play, and you supervise them, and I bet you pick the activities, too, and how many times did you shout "be careful! Don't run! Not so fast! " and how many times did you interfere to demand "sharing"....never out of their faces. How can children develop their own identities? Have you seen the young adult victims of this style of upbringing..."identifying" as things, instead of having an identity? Have you seen the rage, the attacks on professors, or speakers...people have ended up in hospital at their young hands. Seen the piercings and tattoos, the cutting, the BDSM.... because you never, ever, let them get hurt, do you ? Pain in childhood is essential: it stimulates the brain, watch their grades leap after a heavy fall or scrape. And it teaches you endurance....look at these young adults, demanding college "be a safe space"....playdates are the heart of this.
Yep, if you can pop around as a surprise then that means you are very close with that person. My old friends from highschool/uni do it from time to time when they feel like something needs to happen and they'll just ring my bell unannounced, or a family member might stop by to have a cup of tea or something. But it's still a rare occasion rather than the norm, planning ahead is for sure the way to go in daily life.
@@SesameR7sh Wow. that was quite a lot to get out of playdate. I agree with making your own identity - but seeing grades leap after a scrape? Seldom heard something as stupid.
And piercings, bdsm, tattoos, all things lots of ordinary ppl use that never had a playdate in their life. I believe you are generalising just a wee bit much...
never thought about it but god that carpenter, interior design thing is so true, we fucking love that shit. Me and my friend will literally sit down to just look at furniture or houses together, though we (friend n i) also love old fashioned (victorian and edwardian) architecture and furniture.
Yeah, it's not a strange interest - but it's much more universally appealing than we find in the States. Design, architecture, decor, home projects and construction - all great topics.
@@RobeTrotting very great topics! And quite fascinating culturally
We danes really catch on to superficiality quite quickly and judge people by first impressions. A good way to get on good terms would be to learn our version of sarcasm and self-deprecation and maybe have an "opener" like that. Sarcasm is rarely seen as rude in Denmark.
So true - superficiality is the biggest no-no we can think of and a great tip with sarcasm and self-deprecation. That's our normal type of humor so it has served us well as we have made Danish friends 🇩🇰😀
The part off the group but still a outsider is a big part off danish culture. As a Dane who was born and raised in Copenhagen but decided to move to Jutland. I am and will always be that girl from Copenhagen even if I live here the rest off my life.
I moved from Aarhus to Thisted 11 years ago but even if I live here for the rest of my life I will never be considered a Thybo. 😂
I have also moved to Jylland from Midtsjælland, I have lived in Jylland most of my life, but am still called Københavneren - which is very offensive to most people who are not from Copenhagen 🙈😂 On Sjælland I am called Jyden. Where am I from? 🤔 In the heart, it is beyond doubt Jylland ❤
Yep this is very much true. I grew up in northern zealand (30 mins north of Copenhagen) and have since moved to Copenhagen and lived here for 6 years, but I still don't see myself as a "Københavner". I live here and I'm a part of the city, it's my home and I cherish it, but it's not where I was born and raised, and it never will be. Even if it's just 30 minutes drive from my childhood home.
Your "skål" is getting better 😉👍
The Royal Family can be a difficult topic, some love it and some wants it gone. Goes next to religion and politic, depending on the person it can go over well or really bad.
True, we suggest learning about them but it could be a potential landmine or a topic. Thanks for the comment, that should help some people 😀🇩🇰
Indeed, and a lot of topics are most likely also going to be age dependent. Can't remember the last time any person below 40 talked about the royal family, it's more something that just exists rather than being a general topic for conversation. A curious topic could be future plans for Denmark as a country, constructions and societal plans, going carbon neutral etc, as these are topics not set in stone and different viewpoints and experiences could be interesting to share with one another. It can be a great way to get closer with Danes because discussing their outlook on the nation's future tells you about their desires and standpoints, while you as a foreigner is brought in by showing interest in not just the person, but also the society around you and the country as a whole.
totally agree.
To me, discussing the royal family is only a little better than discussing the Kardashians. (i. e. very superficial)
Remember that both male AND female handball is important. In most sport it's just the male team, but in handball the female team gets just as much attention and tv time.
It probably takes more time for a Dane to describe someone as a friend than it would do for an American. And DON'T use the word "love" about anything unless you really mean it. We don't use very often and it's a big deal when we do.
Great tips - thanks, Camilla! 😀🇩🇰 We got made fun of a lot for overusing love at first haha. Also for this odd American way of phrasing something... "I like XXXXXX but I don't love it" 😂 What does that even mean?! haha
@@RobeTrotting, it's sounds like a polite way of saying: "I can eat it if you put it in front of me, but it's okay with me if I never eat it again".
I've seen American people tell complete strangers, that they love them. Why would anyone do that?
In copenhagen we dont give af about handball tho only football
Fuck håndbold.
@@Wings_of_foam, prøver du at sige, at du gerne vil være intim med Anja Andersen?
Danish tv show I recommend, Matador, it's from the 70's but one of the most loved series there is. often available online for free provide by DR(the channel there owns it). though not with English sub, the DVD can be bought with English Sub.
Matador, is Danish for Monopoly, btw
well, if watching a tv serie, is good for learning, then i would recomend huset på christianshavn. matador is kinda outdated. :D
I'd personally recommend Olsenbanden, that is true Danish culture and a holy grail of comedic heist television :D Not just does it have great humor and incredible characters, it also gives a good display of what Copenhagen (and Denmark as a whole) used to be like 40-50 years ago, and you'll get a better understanding of the development we have seen over the past many decades. It's like watching old gangster movies before moving to Chicago
"To know who people are, you need to learn where they came from"
Always talks so nicely about my country, thanks for your videos guys, it makes me think about a lot of things 💚
Haircuts!!
Love these videos, as they often make me consider how I do things, too 😉
Thanks from Hundested 🌸💕🌱
You guys would make great parents, from what i hear and see what and how you do things like, fitting in, reading people, not afraid of moving to another country, and learned.... Your child would have great parents. I know it is off topic but after listening to your two fore a while now, i truly think you would do a great job of it❤️. Nice video guys keep it up✌️.
Love watching your videos, and thank you for educating people about the Danish culture.
You guys are definitely an asset to Denmark. 🥰
Thank you Denice, that’s so sweet 😃
"Don't bring your American approach to religion into Danish conversation" is actually a more board topic than just the religious aspect.
In general, for any topic in Danish society (and it's true for all the Nordic countries), logic and evidence plays an important role, and is (generally) held as a core value. People don't really bring this up, because valuing logic and evidence seem natural and it's difficult to comprehending why some people don't value it. (And besides, what logical arguments would we use to convince someone to value logic.)
If you believe something to be "literal truth" and there is no logic or evidence to back it up - you might get labeled as someone unreliable or untrustworthy.
So if you say (and you are being DEAD serious): "I believe Elvis is still alive", "I believe women have half the worth of a man", "I believe a man built a boat and fit two of every animal on it", "I am visited at night by extraterrestrials ", "I believe the earth is 7000 years old", "I believe a being outside our universe has a deep personal connection to me" , "I am Batman"
- you pay a certain price.
It's not to say that people in Denmark don't believe things that are demonstratively un-true (you can find endless examples!) - BUT a big difference is - in Denmark, religion does not get a free pass on these types of claims, it's on the same footing as astrology and UFO-sightings. To people with deeply held religious beliefs this may be hard to understand and/or accept.
So you can easily discuss religion and religious tradition as a topic with a Danish person - but keeping you own religious belief private is sound advice!
Fint tip, medmindre du flytter til Lolland. Så tager du bare krystallerne med.
You two are the best I have read about in living in Denmark. Many people try to do this, You are the best. I lived in the USA for many years. Still have a Danish accent due to we learn British English!! But when I am around British .Plz keep this up x
Good job again boys! You got a quite good hold of a lot of things in Denmark.
Cant wait to go to denmark much love to the brothers and sisters across the pound ❤
Me too..Im moving to Denmark this month
Love seeing the American/Danish way (since you guys are basically Danes now) of putting things.
I have some family in the US that would love this video!
I am grateful that you are so good at explaining the difference because I talk to many Americans daily over the net and you also help me to understand the difference and what not to do and not to say in American way so that I don't offend your common compatriots. Thank you for being you.
Great video. If ever in jutland I'll suggest you visiting Den Gamle By i Aarhus, but also Ribe (The oldest town in Denmark) is really nice just to name a few.
I think you guys are spot on. Very well perceived and translated.
My English teacher in school said American English was like British English with a potato in the mouth 😁
It’s kinda funny that danish is described almost the same
Those Danes with their lazy language with a lot of dropped letters and weird noises, not as fancy sounding as the other Scandinavian languages.
(I'm Danish too. Just thought I should point out real quick that I'm making fun of my own language.)
@@harasen_haras5 We're just encrypting our language, in a few centuries noone outside will understand anything.
@@harasen_haras5 We can't all be elves... we are the orcs of the family... but we also have the most fun.
@@vrenak Nice!
I really liked this channel. Thanks for putting all this info and effort 💜
You guys are my new favorite channel! Very informative and you all are great youtubers! 😁
Thank you so much! We are super happy to hear that and have you in our community 😃
The best advice I can give is to join a Danish sports club in a sport that you prefer to practice, and preferably a team sport, it is easier to get to know each other when you spend so much time together.
And if you are like me gay, try panidraet.dk/en/sports/ in Copenhagen.
Hi guys, Having seen quite a lot of your videos, id like to commend you on your understanding of my native country and fellow danes. its quite amazing to be honest - your love shines through. a belated welcome and hope that all your dreams will come true. nice to have you on board
Wow, thank you so much for the kind words - we love Denmark and living here so it means a lot for it to be noticed :-)
Love you guys, keep up the great work and hope you have a nice opening (corona wise)
you guys have only lived here for 5 years but have learned so much about how to live your lives here nicely. Great job! The bit I could resonate most is patience does pay off cos when you do have Danish friends, they are very dear friends. For me, it took me about 7-8 years but it is still a work-in-progress just like any relationship - it takes work but now at least we have meals at each other's homes, tease and make fun of each other and help each other when needed. The other bit which you are spot on is learning Danish - a must if you want to get close to the Danes and now I'm speaking a lot of Danish with these friends even though I do not use it at home nor at work. I don't know what you call it - maybe hygge friendship:-)
It is even hard for us danes to get new friends when we are adult. It comes natural as long as we are pushed together at School or univesity, but it can take years at a workplace.
Another great video 👍🏻 In general Danes for historical and cultural reasons likes Americans even though we are not always enthusiastic about a current administration. Humor is a great icebreaker, especially if it shows that you do not take yourself too seriously 🤣
Another good advice: Don't invite yourself to someone's home
Yes, great advice. It can be common to suggest that in the States, so it's good to know that customs around house visits are a little different in Denmark.
Some do like that. I love when my friends invite themself to a beer, a cup of coffee or just a chat.
Feel free to ask tho, but accept a no and do not feel resentful about it.
@@Timonrollesen me too!
@@RobeTrotting Hey you guys 😊 I was just thinking, watching this video: what is your ancestory?
You mentioned about Minnesota (I think it was) and Scandinavian descent. So I was just curious where your ancestors came from 😊
If you want to share that, of course! 😉
Thanks for a nice channel! You guys seems so kind, and are so likable! 😄❤️👍
A tip is also to go out for a drink, specially if you are on the younger side, with some you know. In my experience is it the fast way to know someone and maybe make a friend
Great video guys. You have really captured the most essential things about how the Danish society in general work. There are of course exceptions, but your advice will in general get you far. Maybe you forgot to mention “bragging” as usually being very off putting for Danes, though it can maybe go in the ‘loud’ category😀Thanks for the video - keep’em comin
Very important addition Morten. Thanks for adding that, bragging and being obsessed with winning and achievement can be a quick way to stand out for the wrong reasons in Denmark 🇩🇰 😊
Great video as always. I don’t know if it’s within the range of your channel theme, but next week is Eurovision week, and I would love to hear you guys take on that. 😄
Oh, yes please! Great idea! 😄👍
Love that shirt! I'm a 78 baby and as a kid I was always dancing around the house, singing that song.
I love it too, and for the same reason 😂 true story, and I don’t know why, but when I was really young I thought that song was by Stevie Wonder and when my mom corrected me I threw the biggest tantrum about it 😂
I always love your videos. Entertaining and often spot-on. What would you say would be the Dos and Don'ts for someone moving from DK to the US? I thought that could be an idea for a new video. I loved the "reverse culture shock" you posted, so I thought that with your knowledge of both cultures could add your five cents on that... :-)
Really good advice.
Love the vid, keep the great work up👌
Thank you Alfred 😊🇩🇰
You've done it again! Impressed me, that is :-)
You're vision, when it comes to Danes, is 19/19
and your attitude to immigrating (in general) is spot on.
As for your mates from New Jersey, two extra words: Self-irony and Jantelov. (which you're well aware of - just didn't mention ;-)
Hygge!
Know a guy from Afghanistan who learned to speak Danish fluently in just 3 months. You could barely hear any accent. That was impressive.
Wow! Sjældent og imponerende!
🤯👍
That's a superpower!
Just some small facts. We Actually do have ice hockey league and teams in Denmark. But not widespread in evry city.
We have some of the best People in badminton.😊
I really enjoy your videos. Good work you guys😊
You guys are super nice, lets have a beer next time i'm in Coenhagen, most Danes do speak english but awesome you ar willing to learn or difficult language :)
Love the video!
Thanks Marie 😀🇩🇰
I like the way you explain how to say you dont want to discuss a certain topic. It just goes on and on😆 My head goes screaming: just say. I dont wanna talk about this. And then you go on to talk about danish people are more direct. Perfect timing.
The most important topic to talk about or at least use as an ice breaker is the weather. That shows you've really understood what Danes are deep down inside. Allways expecting the worst from the weather. As some of us say the raincoat is our favorite outfit. Our constant concern for the weather might come from the fact that going centuries back we've been a nation of farmers and fishermen (or to avoid accusations of sexism, fisherpersons).
Friendships are indeed deeper. Our friends are our ‘selected family’, with whom we have no reservations or secrets, who get to see us in our morning robes with morning hair/breath…..the people with whom closeness (hygge ) is more important than appearance (and wealth)….but thanks for your grasp of soooo many peculiarities of our little nation.
Pretty much everyone i know who have moved to Denmark says the best way to get friends is to join some activity i.e. Sport, scouts, singing or what ever it might be.
Yes, this is such great advice. Getting involved around a common interest is perfect for making connections! 🇩🇰😃
Great video.. Hilsen fra Danmark... :)
The thing about being invited over really depends on where in Denmark you are. Over here in Jylland, it's not uncommon for the mailman to just open up your front door and put a package in your entryway or for people you know to just enter without knocking like they own the place when they come over, whether invited or not.
Love your videos😁
Thank you so much for watching and being a part of our community 🇩🇰😀
Ooooooh I see you guys got haircuts! Looking good!
Thanks, it felt so good to get a proper haircut haha.
You're so right in how you describe your friends. I was so worried about speaking English to people (especially after being greeting in Danish) I would just freeze in front of a cashier haha.
@@RobeTrotting I think it also gets easier knowing that people speak English here too, if you already know someone who lives there - like in my case, they know that we're quite good at it, but if you come to a country not knowing anyone or anything about it, then it might be even more frightening.
Have you seen "Matador" it is an old series about life in Denmark. Provides good background knowledge about Denmark, and our Crown Princess Mary learned to speak Danish by watching it
As a native dane, I agree with everything said here. To the americans coming over. All in this is true and worth a watch. There's most likely more things to learn, but as a quick Do's and Don'ts, this is absolutely spot on
I think another posted about friendship down below, but Americans have a lot great networking skills and we Danes tend to be more private. As you pointed out, we prefer a deeper friendship. We consider our time as valuable and not for anything insincere. I love Americans quickness to want to find a connection to where they are but like you said, don't waste our time 😉 I hope I am making sense. Basically play to your strengths and maybe ask a coworker how people are connected at the workplace. If there are a group that get together privately, see if they would like to include you next time as a start.
I think us people in Denmark are a bit more with both feet’s on the ground and do really appreciate the small things in life and we kind of live on the word “hygge” (a word for cozy, fun, nice and just that you are having a good time) so a lot of us doesn’t have that need to stand out and be something special because all we really want is a happy life with a loving family and friends, it doesn’t have to be many, just a few close friends
you can trust and that you know always will be there for you when you need them and when you don’t.
(This is my opinion, of course) One of the foundational pillars of danish culture is 'Hygge' - which is a state of relaxed coziness in the company of others, and a lot of that stems from how we view friends and family.
Hygge is quite informal, as opposed to the american 'entertain guests' - and to be invited into someones home in Denmark, to watch a movie, hang out or similar is a sign of trust that you guys can be quite informal and relaxed around each other. Hygge is a 'come as you are' kind of deal and it requires that you know people quite well.
If you ever hear a danish person say "Det var sgu egentlig meget hyggeligt" (It was quite 'hyggeligt' after all) - it's because an event that was expected to be more formal, turns out to be far more relaxed and cozy than expected.
I like your advice to "be your authentic self"
It can take you far! 😀
A small tip, in order to learn the language, perhaps quicker, is to use it at home as well. I know this is a good way to learn a new language...
Midwest types lol. I’m a Dane from cph and found out from MyHeritage that I have a lot relatives in Utah and Minnesota. But also in Australia.
I ❤❤ that deer in a tuxedo picture, just in back of you two!
Where, if I may ask, did you get it?
Uh, this was nice advice for me as a Dane too. I've run into a couple of Americans during my life, and I wasn't able to articulate how they managed to rub me the wrong way so quickly.. but yes, the "tone it down" put it into perspective. Also the "don't invite yourself" part. I guess I'll just have to figure out a way to put it gingerly if someone is fresh off the plane, as I understand that just stating it naturally would come across as, if not outright rude, then perhaps blunt or correcting.
Forskellene mellem de to lande er interessante. Jeg er naturligt stille og lidt genert, men her i USA synes mennesker at det er lidt underligt, så må jeg prøve at være mere “outgoing.” 😄
I will gladly discuss hockey all day long :p
Denmark has quite a few players in the NHL now, so it's getting more and more popular by the minute.
I actually remember an ice hockey chat with a Danish guy at the bar while watching American football and he said he also followed a few Danish NHL players and would wake up at all hours of the night to catch games. It felt very familiar haha 😂
@@RobeTrotting Sports-freaks, uhm enthusiasts, will always be the same :D
Been to Denmark thanks thumbs up
In many ways you are right. But yet there are short cuts. That will also make you meet the best and friendliest danes. Volunteer work. You will work with all layers of danish sociaty. From nuclear scientist to people living on the streets. Fundraising is really a great way. Like the different festivals over the summer. 10 years i worked for roskilde festival. 11 years i worked Volunteer for the muscular atrophy foundation (muskelsvindfonden). I have been an expat the last 10 years i still have alot of friends from those. You will have alot of fun. You will experience danes in all they nuances. And if you choose muskelsvind fonden you will travel danmark for aprox 2 weeks every summer and build around 8 concerts. So you will meet people from all over the place. And yes about inviting people home unless the danes know you that wont happen. Short cut there is someone bringing you.. danes have a small group of friends those they invite home. Then they have what the call gode bekendte or nice associates. They will meet these in town for coffee and lastly bekendte. These are people they only meet with others. And you kinda have to go through the steps to get into someones homes. Sports is not always a great topic. Actually unless a team just won a national game most i know dont talk sports. For the simple reason they rarely care for the same team. If you have 6 danes from the same large town in denmark they will chear on 4 different teams. Even in 1 household they might have differences. Politics is really the best topic. But you need to know what you are talking about. Don't go overboard on 1 politician. Because he has 1 issue you love does not make the rest he says any good. So you talk issues not politicians. And danes talk issues daily and they listen and they read politics daily. They are well informed on not only danish but also world politics and american. And danes knows what Liberal. Socialism. And conservative and capitalist means. This is something i find americans actually have no clue about or at least very little. I love to tease the anti socialists asking them 1 the biggest socialist company is in the entire world is. A company where you not only get a salery. But housing. Free medical. Free education. Free food. Even free travels free clothing. They dont know. Until i tell them. The united states army. But i also state without capitalism there would not be funding for the army. Both sides need to work together. Not the extreme views on left and right. But best of both worlds. Talk politics. Know your issues and most people will like and respect you. Even if your view is different. But you will lose all the second you say everything on 1 side is bad. Its not blue or red. You don't have to hate red if you are blue. Red can have good ideas. And vice versa..
I have on plenty of occasions invited myself to other people´s homes in Denmark, never heard a complaint. It may start with "Oooh ... the coffee smells nice" or " I can fix those computer problems" ... just don´t be intrusive and personal at first, watch your step and be relaxed. I am a bit awkward socially though without ever being overly intrusive, I think the Danes sense that and cut me some slack. Danish small talk which is a science in itself is a good way to measure other people´s mood and acceptance towards you.
Might also be because I don´t have a family and people sort of feel sorry for me? Anyway, I always get invited for Christmas at various homes every year. Danish charity work 🙂and I love them for it, I would hate being alone during Christmas time. Friends in Denmark are for life, so, you have to maintain the relations and visit/call them, not because you want something but because you love them.
Handball team really good xD I had to laugh a little because the mens team are vm Em and Olympic champions xD also this is a sport where both women and men's teams are equally respected and shown in the television not like how you rarely hear about the women football leagues
Yea I had a giggle at that one too :D "the team is really good" yea no shit it's literally the worlds best team consecutively across multiple championship divisions XD underselling them quite a bit haha
I think the advice about the Danish Languish needs a bit of extending. Be aware where you move to. Do you move to Denmark or Copenhagen. If you move to Copenhagen, yeah it's no problem that you'r are only talking a bit of Danish. Loads of international people, mixed culture and so on. If you move to any other place of Denmark, Learn the languish. And keep learning, don't stop no matter what. You will have a hard time getting friends and social cirkles if you can't talk Danish. Yes Danes are great at English in general, but at parties or social gathering it will put a strain on the entire group to keep talking English to you. They will for maybe the first few hours, but after that, they will most likely switch to Danish. It's even more importain when you have kids or want's to join a sports activity. All the social gathering and meeting will be in Danish, so it's just a heads up.
Second advice: Jokes are hard, sarcastic and dark. Don't get offended and presume it to make fun of a group, person or you, it's to make fun with these and sometimes the jokes har cruel against themself and self deprecating.
The humour ting is spot on.._ first rule of danish humour.._ don't get offended.._ we say some dark and twisted stuff... Not to offered but because we find it funny to say.._ sometimes its a competition to see who can come up with the worst scenario you can imagine.._
Personally you can make all the fun you want about my language, flag or lack of religion as long as I know you respect me as a person. It's okay to be different and disagree. Same reason why politics isn't such a touchy subject here.
You getting good at "skål"😁👍
Tak Jakob! 🇩🇰😀
Willemoes is an excellent beer, did you ever get the chance to taste their christmas ale?
It was a shame they discontinued it
Handball/håndbold is a danish invention so ofcourse we like to talk about it
Helps that Danes are also good at it 🇩🇰😋
Det vidste jeg ikke!
@@allenculpepper9553 Handbold er fra Ordrup i gentofte.
@@petermoller4610 Eller Nyborg på Fyn. Det er vist omdiskuteret ;)
Jeg har hørt det var fra Norge
Regarding the topic of religion I wouldn't say it's a no go. It depends on the social circles you move in of course, but in my experience it's more a question of the angle you have on the topic. I imagine that in the US (please correct me if I'm wrong) religion may often be discussed from a personal perspective, your personal experience. In Denmark I find I can easily discuss religion as long as I approach it from a scientific perspective. Going into a philosophical discussion about religion I find very interesting. As long as you approach a subject with curiousity, openness and critical thinking I believe you can talk about most things, but then again I really like knowledge so it may just be me.
Good advice, I wish more Americans took that approach on a regular basis
Good video overall, but the last hing you said about being authentic just hit the button, i had a friend many years ago that go to Chicago for study, then i asked her when she come back, what is the biggest different , she replied , they are so much taking an actor role(personality) on in the USA until you really know them, while here we are just fair and square and use time to know a person before inviting them into your "life"
In Danish schools, we learned to debate. With a stopwatch. Hey, it is your turn!
we didn't have stopwatches, we had a student push out his lower lip and pretend to be Clement.
Can you do a reserve also? Dos and Dont´s living in the US coming from Denmark
That's a great idea. We actually have some distant friends who have married Danes and now live in the States. It could be fun to have a sit-down with them and discuss the differences 😀🇩🇰
ill fit right in with the hand ball, used to play that 8 hours a day in prison.
The language thing is tricky for English speakers. Learning the language of your new country requires immersion. That means constantly being exposed to the language and forced to use it. A lot of Danes - especially in the cities - love to utilize their English skills. A lot of Danes also don’t see why you would want to learn a small language like Danish. So they will often want to speak English with a native English speaker. For a native English speaker it requires a lot insisting to maintain a conversation in Danish. If you insist, however, you will get rewarded. It is both fun and enlightening. Learning any foreign language provides a ton of insight to your own language. It’s like how experiencing different countries and cultures enables you to reflect on your own from outside. Moreover, learning a new language enhances your cognitive abilities and the ability to learn language itself. The more languages you know the easier it is to learn new ones.
My girlfriend is from Spain. She learned both English and Danish after moving to Denmark. She learned English first because she was studying in English. Even though most in my family speak English well she found it tiring not being able to passively join a conversation in a big group at family event. Suddenly people felt the need to switch to English which would create an undesired focus on her. Even though many have good English skills they often lack the necessary vocabulary to continue in English at the same nuanced level that they are discussing a specific local Danish topic. So there was also the pressure on my girlfriend resulting from people either switching topic to include her or that she felt that she had to participate actively in every conversation. After learning Danish she could listen in on a conversation an contribute when or if she felt like it, which took a lot of pressure off of her.
I always say that leaning a foreign language is like learning to play an instrument. There is no quick fix. It frustrating, aching and requires time and practice. But it can also be fun and and it will be rewarding.
Another important thing. When a dane invite you to dinner or just coffee and give you at time, then don't be late, be precise. A good thing, if you become friends with a dane, you have a friend for life, no matter the distance between you and the dane :-))
Don't be early either. 5 minutes or less is fine, but more is rude. Also if you come to a danish home for the first time bring a "værtindegave" gift, and for the grace of *** DON'T make it a bouquet of flowers. She'll have a million of other things to do, so you bringing her another thing to do (getting a vase, and filling it with water) is rather rude.
my home is denmark and i can lean you here come at word on danish hej og velkommen til denne her video that means hey and welkame to this video
Very good advice ⭐ 🇩🇰 🇺🇸
I am a Danish expat in Moscow. I fully agree about the furniture and interior design part.. no one here give any deeper thought to picking furniture, much less discussing it with friends.
Some may. Depends where you live I reckon. I don't give a rats a** how much one's sofa has cost. It's not value but how you feel about your living conditions and the environment.
@@FruPetersen2011 you lived in Moscow?
@@petermoller4610 No I have not, but watched quite a few documentaries from Russia and Romania - its quite similar in the rural parts of the country ☺️
@@FruPetersen2011 Ok, I have a rusisan passport and live in Moscow for the last 2 years. My knowledge of Russia and Russians is NOT from a TV show.
I am glad that your knowledge of Russia does not come from old James Bond movies, which is where most people seem to get their 'knowledge"
@@FruPetersen2011 Romania and Russia are NOT similar.
Romania is a latin greco catholic country
Russia is a slavic eastern orthodox country.
they are very different.
Maybe you should visit Denmark outside of Copenhagen. A lot of your advice is good, but often it's more from a Copenhagen wiev than from a Danish wiev.
We live in Copenhagen - so...
I hope the couple find their way
I live in the city Peter was born and grew up, we have a statue of him at the harbor. It is a very sad story he was only 24 😔 Skål to you and thanks for a very interesting video 😊
Sad story indeed. Is it Assens where you live then? Trying to remember, we did a little digging when we first heard there was a man behind the beer, he seems like a fascinating figure.
@@RobeTrotting Yes it is Assens ☺️ I have heard about him growing up. But unfortunately you forget about it with time. But he was an remarkable person with a lot of skills at his young age. And a few years ago they named the local school after him as well.