This is one of the best videos ever that I have seen on narcissism - which doesn't demonize narcissists - but takes the narcissistic pain and suffering seriously and offers authentic therapeutic advice of how to heal from narcissism by integrating the false narcissistic self into the personality by self-parenting. Great video, Prof. Vaknin, we are all very grateful to you for your positive contribution in revealing that there is a way out of the narcissistic blind alley. Thank you so much for sharing your innovative therapeutic solutions with us.
First of all, thank you very much for the lectures. I had a narcissistic manager at work for 12 years. When I intuitively recognized this, I ripped off her mask and my nightmare began. Unfortunately, she became a certified coach in Poland and I'm really surprised that no one diagnosed it. I know her. And I feel sorry for people who come to her for any conversation.
ปีที่แล้ว +4
I am doing this with my clients in my 4-years developmental program for women New Life New Me: create Good Enough Inner Mother, and later Good Enough Inner Father. Inner parenting and regulation of nervous system, sense of inner safety and self reliance are two pillars of recovery of developmental trauma. Inner mothering recreate safe and supportive environment, new childhood. New information and experience comes into system and everything changes, step by step. Defences slowly, with good experience and raise of trust, are not so necessary as they used to be. Clients explore new safer world, with the blessing and protection of Inner Mother. One borderline lady did it very well in 3-4 years of this kind of our work.
After this video only one proverb came into my head. "When the alms are too much, the saint becomes suspicious." I hope Prof. Vaknin talks more about this unprecedented discovery after telling us throughout his career of him as a therapist that the narcissists have no cure.
I loved her immensely!! She told how much she suffered from her childhood!! Her father beat her for every minute thing !! I cared her like a child but due to narcissistic tendencies she left me !! I showed love and at the same time anger too !! It's been two years !! She's 24 !! Hope one day I tell her in a calm manner the way she listen's understands it !! Hope she goes to therapy on herself!! Hope !!
Interesting video topic ideas: Cerebral Female Narcissist + Somatic Covert Male Narcissist couple and shared fantasy. Narcissist Couple where one is self aware and the other is not
Thank you so much for such an amazing video, Professor Vaknin! Will you post any more videos regarding how to teach narcissists self-supply or recommend any books or papers regarding this topic please? This is the first time I felt hopeful as a NPD patient TBH. Again your working is absolutely cutting edge and uniquely amazing :)
I have healed my narcissism with self reliance. Thankfully, I had tendencies and not a disorder. But I had a thought: what if lots of narcs heal but we dont hear about it because technically they werent as far as a disorder? The stubborn ones are gone.
I love your videos, especially the ones on covert borderline and covert narcissist. I'm unsure if you have ever done a video on comorbid borderline and narcissism. I used the search function as you always recommend, but no luck. As you said in the video you sometimes like doing requests. Would love to see a video on the comparison of covert borderline vs comorbid narcissism and borderline.
Thank you Prof. Vaknin. This sounds like healthy narcissism. It is very helpful and anxiolytic. It removes the experience of victimization, as well. Thank you so much.🌷
Narcissists self sufficient supply such as in success psychology when you look in the mirror every day and say “I like my self” along with modified self image. Always gold professor Vaknin, Keep it up.
I love your videos I listen everyday! Thank you for your knowledge and sharing with others! Did I miss the video about males who walk away from their children?
Brilliant. I thought about it recently seeing my friend with covert narcissism being a lot more self-supplying after years of therapy. I wondered if it was a good solution but maybe it's the only option for now.
היי סם! ❤️ אין מילים פשוט. וואו. התמכרתי לסרטונים שלך ובלילה אני נרדמת עם הקול שלך. רציתי לשאול אם תוכל לעשות סרטון על ההבדל בין אספקה עצמית self supply לבין אהבה עצמית בריאה?
Can you do a video on the codependent that finally loved herself and felt she had healed her wounds in this façade? 20 year relationship to have it end with infidelity, discard and a smear campaign. Totally blindsided. I became a better person in this relationship and this blindsided discard brought me back to being a child. I have learned all I could in the last 5 years. Thousands of hours of research, mainly your channel. I need help to move on and I have no access to a competent therapist for narcissistic abuse where I live. Thank you so much in advance
This is all well and good but what is the therapeutic process to help the narcissist obtain self supply? It sounds like one would have to help the narcissist change their internal objects, especially the bad mother into a different person who gives supply instead of destructive thoughts. is there any literature or video content showing how this is achieved?
Ok, great. How do you teach him? How, how, how. What exercises. Just give one example, please, please. Great video. Lucky and greatful to receive this. ✌❤🖖 G
Is this similar to Transactional Analysis? Couldn't figure text with (1) to start number or is this number really in California. I'm so ADD and tech backward. Sorry. Thank you for your precious time. Gale
Would perhaps doing art or a sport or activity the narcissists enjoys, if done well and consistently then function as a source of self supply? asking for a friend 😸
I would like to throw out a topic suggestion Prof. I am trying to better understand primary psychopathy. It seems to me that there is heavy overlap between primary psychopathy and machiavelonism. Is there a main aspect that distinguishes these two disorders apart? Also, can a person be highly manipulative and power hungry without suffering from a disorder like this? Thank you for all your insight. You've also done many videos on narcissist in relationship. Can you do some more with primary psychopathy and machiavellianism and how intimate relationships play out with these types if people.
I was hoping you could clear something up for me. In this video, you said that because of the splitting defense, if they get narcissistic supply, that person is all good. But then how does it work when the narcissist is starting to devalue you and therefore makes you all bad (when they no longer see you as the idealized version) from the splitting defense in their mind. I mean aren't they still getting narcissistic supply from you and devaluing you, so would that make you all good or all bad? Or what are the determining factors that make you all good or all bad for them in their mind? Thank you
@angel best thing that worked for me was learning cognitive empathy to conform to social expectations. It’s a behavioral change only, can’t change the emotional.
Sam I have a idiotic question and I hope I didn't miss hearing the answer in this video, however, please inform me if you don't mind of... In previous videos you mentioned that supply may be in multiple forms/ negative, good, just not being ignored. Ok, in this video we learn how self supply can become the fix all, if you will. Serving both benefits that could help the narcissist and the sources of supply. Very much appreciated if I may also add. My question is Sam, is it possible even slightly, for the negative supply to become an actual type of self supply to become into effect, could it even create an opposite effect? Perhaps a self hatred to the negative treatment being put into oneself? Making the patient suicidal as a borderline or as the recipient of the usual narcissist cruel signature behavior? Could the narcissist receive a taste of his own medicine? If treating self as typically to the ex-supply ( in an all respectful nature intended)
This is one of the best videos ever that I have seen on narcissism - which doesn't demonize narcissists - but takes the narcissistic pain and suffering seriously and offers authentic therapeutic advice of how to heal from narcissism by integrating the false narcissistic self into the personality by self-parenting. Great video, Prof. Vaknin, we are all very grateful to you for your positive contribution in revealing that there is a way out of the narcissistic blind alley. Thank you so much for sharing your innovative therapeutic solutions with us.
Self-care is the cure. Self parenting. Abundance mindset.
First of all, thank you very much for the lectures. I had a narcissistic manager at work for 12 years. When I intuitively recognized this, I ripped off her mask and my nightmare began. Unfortunately, she became a certified coach in Poland and I'm really surprised that no one diagnosed it. I know her. And I feel sorry for people who come to her for any conversation.
I am doing this with my clients in my 4-years developmental program for women New Life New Me: create Good Enough Inner Mother, and later Good Enough Inner Father.
Inner parenting and regulation of nervous system, sense of inner safety and self reliance are two pillars of recovery of developmental trauma.
Inner mothering recreate safe and supportive environment, new childhood.
New information and experience comes into system and everything changes, step by step. Defences slowly, with good experience and raise of trust, are not so necessary as they used to be. Clients explore new safer world, with the blessing and protection of Inner Mother.
One borderline lady did it very well in 3-4 years of this kind of our work.
Thank you, for this. Self supply, brilliant!
After this video only one proverb came into my head. "When the alms are too much, the saint becomes suspicious." I hope Prof. Vaknin talks more about this unprecedented discovery after telling us throughout his career of him as a therapist that the narcissists have no cure.
I am not a therapist. Self-supply is not a cure, it is just a way to eliminate the adverse impacts of the narcissist on others.
@@samvakninBut "how" do you get the narcissist to self-supply.
Thank you Sir for all you do
Sincerely
Texas USA
Your sense of humor is outstanding , besides this video is so helpful for people who are enforced to deal with narcissists in life .
My friends as sounding boards who didn’t judge my truthful narcissistic thoughts was very healing.
How did you find a way to talk about it with others?
I loved her immensely!! She told how much she suffered from her childhood!! Her father beat her for every minute thing !! I cared her like a child but due to narcissistic tendencies she left me !! I showed love and at the same time anger too !! It's been two years !! She's 24 !! Hope one day I tell her in a calm manner the way she listen's understands it !! Hope she goes to therapy on herself!! Hope !!
She'll only do it when she determines she's ready.
Wow. If someone cracked the narc code and healed them, they would be rich and in-demand. Sadly, I don’t think its possible.
dear Sam Vaknin
What you enrich the world with in terms of insights right now is of huge importance
thank you for your generosity.
Thank you Sam for the validation. Love the humor and intellect nice balance.
My hope is for others diagnosed with a cluster B personality to find this form of healing.
Interesting video topic ideas:
Cerebral Female Narcissist + Somatic Covert Male Narcissist couple and shared fantasy.
Narcissist Couple where one is self aware and the other is not
This is very, very beautiful!
Thank you so much for such an amazing video, Professor Vaknin! Will you post any more videos regarding how to teach narcissists self-supply or recommend any books or papers regarding this topic please? This is the first time I felt hopeful as a NPD patient TBH. Again your working is absolutely cutting edge and uniquely amazing :)
Amazing lecture Sam!!!
I have healed my narcissism with self reliance. Thankfully, I had tendencies and not a disorder. But I had a thought: what if lots of narcs heal but we dont hear about it because technically they werent as far as a disorder?
The stubborn ones are gone.
I love your videos, especially the ones on covert borderline and covert narcissist. I'm unsure if you have ever done a video on comorbid borderline and narcissism. I used the search function as you always recommend, but no luck.
As you said in the video you sometimes like doing requests. Would love to see a video on the comparison of covert borderline vs comorbid narcissism and borderline.
A breakthrough in understanding! 🙏
The narc is a void.. he has nothing to give, also nothing to give to himself .. it's pervasive, nothing grows in the void.
💯💯💯
Thank you Prof. Vaknin. This sounds like healthy narcissism. It is very helpful and anxiolytic. It removes the experience of victimization, as well. Thank you so much.🌷
Narcissists self sufficient supply such as in success psychology when you look in the mirror every day and say “I like my self” along with modified self image.
Always gold professor Vaknin,
Keep it up.
Important knowledge and interesting. Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin. ❤
I wish I could work and learn from you....most interesting person on the Internet
Wonderful !! Thanks Prof. Sam Vaknin.
Thank you. Sounds Amazing. 🎉
Thank you.
Bravo Sam! 👏👏
I love your videos I listen everyday! Thank you for your knowledge and sharing with others! Did I miss the video about males who walk away from their children?
Just what I’ve been realizing for my self!!!
Thank you!!!!!❤️ So much!!!!!!
Brilliant. I thought about it recently seeing my friend with covert narcissism being a lot more self-supplying after years of therapy. I wondered if it was a good solution but maybe it's the only option for now.
היי סם! ❤️ אין מילים פשוט. וואו. התמכרתי לסרטונים שלך ובלילה אני נרדמת עם הקול שלך. רציתי לשאול אם תוכל לעשות סרטון על ההבדל בין אספקה עצמית self supply לבין אהבה עצמית בריאה?
Good idea. Thank you.
Yes! At one point I felt I had multiple souls.
Can you do a video on the codependent that finally loved herself and felt she had healed her wounds in this façade? 20 year relationship to have it end with infidelity, discard and a smear campaign. Totally blindsided. I became a better person in this relationship and this blindsided discard brought me back to being a child. I have learned all I could in the last 5 years. Thousands of hours of research, mainly your channel. I need help to move on and I have no access to a competent therapist for narcissistic abuse where I live. Thank you so much in advance
I love good news! Amazing.What's next? Is it about about adopting a completely new language? I can't wait for the next video!
This is all well and good but what is the therapeutic process to help the narcissist obtain self supply? It sounds like one would have to help the narcissist change their internal objects, especially the bad mother into a different person who gives supply instead of destructive thoughts. is there any literature or video content showing how this is achieved?
Watch my future videos. This is the first in a series.
Either through externally coercive introspection or the encouragement of the internalized wounding of the False Self
So what's it like when you have a narcissistic therapist who is undiagnosed and manipulates you and you can't recognize it?
Could it be possible to teach a borderline to self supply? I mean teach them to not depend on the intimate partner to regulate their moods.
???
Yes.
@@samvaknin how yo do that?
I think you helped. Thanks
Ok, great. How do you teach him? How, how, how. What exercises. Just give one example, please, please. Great video. Lucky and greatful to receive this. ✌❤🖖 G
Is this similar to Transactional Analysis? Couldn't figure text with (1) to start number or is this number really in California. I'm so ADD and tech backward. Sorry. Thank you for your precious time. Gale
Would perhaps doing art or a sport or activity the narcissists enjoys, if done well and consistently then function as a source of self supply? asking for a friend 😸
Seriously I think this 'self supply' therapy is a gift from God...and I think it call heal a whole lot of childhood traumas...
What are techniques for generating self-supply? Notably, if one is self-critical due to the internal bad object?
BRILLIANT.
This man is a god!😊
He is the best!!!!!!!
I would like to throw out a topic suggestion Prof. I am trying to better understand primary psychopathy. It seems to me that there is heavy overlap between primary psychopathy and machiavelonism. Is there a main aspect that distinguishes these two disorders apart? Also, can a person be highly manipulative and power hungry without suffering from a disorder like this?
Thank you for all your insight.
You've also done many videos on narcissist in relationship. Can you do some more with primary psychopathy and machiavellianism and how intimate relationships play out with these types if people.
Watch my videos on dark personalities.
Can we use the same method of self supplying for Border line personality disorder patients ?
I was hoping you could clear something up for me.
In this video, you said that because of the splitting defense, if they get narcissistic supply, that person is all good. But then how does it work when the narcissist is starting to devalue you and therefore makes you all bad (when they no longer see you as the idealized version) from the splitting defense in their mind. I mean aren't they still getting narcissistic supply from you and devaluing you, so would that make you all good or all bad? Or what are the determining factors that make you all good or all bad for them in their mind?
Thank you
Watch my videos on the shared fantasy.
What, in your opinion, is the best thing to show to a narcissist that would maybe reach him on some level ?
😢😢😢😢😢Thank you!
Most of therapists are not trained in this matter and/or it's not good for their pockets
Took me a long time to create me as my new mother and father too.
This is the role that religion was supposed to play
Is there any treatment modality that could possibly made to give someone empathy if they lack it?
No.
@angel best thing that worked for me was learning cognitive empathy to conform to social expectations. It’s a behavioral change only, can’t change the emotional.
So this technique can be applied to a BPD too?
BPDs do not need narcissistic supply. But it can be applied to the borderline's shared fantasy and external regulation via the intimate partner.
How to present this concept to the narcissist if you are a family member?
By sharing this video.
@@samvaknin hello! Thank you so much for this video and all the others. I have shared an hour ago on my FB page…
Sam I have a idiotic question and I hope I didn't miss hearing the answer in this video, however, please inform me if you don't mind of...
In previous videos you mentioned that supply may be in multiple forms/ negative, good, just not being ignored.
Ok, in this video we learn how self supply can become the fix all, if you will. Serving both benefits that could help the narcissist and the sources of supply. Very much appreciated if I may also add.
My question is Sam, is it possible even slightly, for the negative supply to become an actual type of self supply to become into effect, could it even create an opposite effect? Perhaps a self hatred to the negative treatment being put into oneself? Making the patient suicidal as a borderline or as the recipient of the usual narcissist cruel signature behavior? Could the narcissist receive a taste of his own medicine? If treating self as typically to the ex-supply ( in an all respectful nature intended)
So are we talking about delusional self love that leads to actual self love?
Indistinguishable from each other, so with the same psychodynamic effect.
Is your cold therapy antithetical to this paradigm?
No. It incorporates self-supply as a therapeutic strategy.
Just how do I do that?
Marker 26:00
When we can have this therapy here in America?
Will you be doing a video regarding covert narcissism?
In addition to the 8 I have already done?
@@samvaknin this is the first video I have watched of yours. I will look through your others. That's great news.
Can schizotypal narcissists use self-supplying techniques to fulfill their narcissistic supply?
Yes.
So it means that that they can Heal ? Can the “therapist “ betheir intimate partner?
No and no.