Coincidentally (although I don't think it's a coincidence), hours after recording this video one of my "friends" came over to tell me he basically betrayed me (not going to go into details as that wouldn't be respectful). The universe has been doing an amazing job this year at removing everything that was taking me further away from my purpose. This has been the best worst year of my life, no doubt. Extremely grateful.
Dang that sucks man, but its also a good thing so you can focus on your goals. I'm kinda in the same boat right now literally just using this free time to work from home and as soon as that's done, I focus on nutrition and exercise.
Keep up the positivity. Every rock bottom will prove to have been a crucial learning experience in hindsight. You started getting reach on this channel. Often times we tend to think in black in white over a peroid of time. "this year has been all bad" and then we only recollect the negative experiences while in fact it has been highs and low and we forget the other. Keep up the great work. Also it migjt be fun to see you attempting a calisthenics training session(maybe even with some tries at dynamic moves?) in a future video.
Same, if I think of doing something with someone else I think nah I much prefer to do it by myself, it's less effort and organisation. Maybe it's laziness lol
Totally agree. I don't need to negotiate with anyone about what I do and when. I'd worry that they weren't having fun, that they really didn't want to do what I wanted to do but were just going along, etc.; it would be exhausting.
When i think that it would be nice to have a relationship i remember there is no one else who can understand me as much as myself. So i prefer to stay alone. xD
Quit smoking tobacco and grass, quit all soda drinks and alcohol just because i watched your vids man, you opened my eyes. I was in a deep, dark place and you pulled me out! Just want to say thanks man. Peace and keep up the spirit! Love the vibe that i get from watching.
Yeah i was also thinking of quitting alcohol, maybe only drinking with good friends from time to time, but not every weekend or so. Because i noticed that alcohol has a little bad effect on my good habits.
my partner of 7 years, wife of 5 years, mother of my son and i have just seperated; my son is with his mom half of the time. I am a foreigner in a small french town and I will spend christmas alone, This video makes a lot of sense.
I love being alone. Even doing things alone like traveling. It’s so convenient and I just worry about myself. Friends often disappoint me. Edit: 6/16/21 just came back from a solo road trip to Vegas and it had to be the best Vegas trip I have ever been in. No stress, no drama
Me too, "Friends let you down" is a proverb.....We can meet folks along the way......The above comment although short tells me that you are very content and settled.........Blessings........
I should really start traveling solo. A lot of my friends are broke and not doing anything to better themselves. I want to wait for them but there's a whole world out there! :(
Its funny as a man gets older... The more and more people distance themselves. Turns out, your just discovering yourself and what makes you happy. People are just distractions because most of your life you really are alone. So better to understand you with you!
I hope your right. I keep craving being alone and it feels like it's a problem I should solve (at least according to my friends and family). Idk I hope it means I'm growing up and it's not because I'm selfish.
@@clairesmith1915 same, I heard it all my life. "Why do you always run away from a fight and want alone time, why you take a walk after someone passed away, why are you 40 and never been married and no kids? Why are you so selfish?" I think all those family members, past ex's, and friends understand now. And I bet they see me now, and understand being selfish and that rude or a$$holish as you get older. Its called looking out for yourself. In the end its only you and you alone. F family, f love, and f friends. Show affection but to no one more than yourself! I sleep like a baby at night by the way!
@@jtorres5381 btw starting a family is very selfish too...we are all essentially self serving...self interest is core motivational factor for anything..
I was in an abusive relationship because I was afraid of being alone. I was so afraid of my own company. After it ended I discovered that I love my company. Sometimes I prefer my own company than the company of my friends. Reading a book. Studying. Learning. Doing exercises. It's better to be alone than do seek superficial relationships
I was in an abusive marriage, because I was an idiot, and thought getting married was what was expected of me. February 2021 is ten years I've been divorced. Mostly, I miss the companionship. Especially around the holidays. It was me and my little cat, now, it's just me. Sure, I can do what I want, spend my time as I want, spend my money, etc., without being chewed out, but, I do miss the companionship.
@@montymartin3978 which is normal, people have a biological need for touch there was an experiment with babies when they fed the babies but they didn't physically held the babies and they had to stop the experiment because half the babies died, literally from the lack of physical touch adults have the same needs for physical touch like babies which is hard nowadays due to social distancing
yeah I think a bad relationship ending was something that was a real wake up call that I had to learn to be alone and learn to not base my self worth around girls.
I feel more lonely with people than by myself. I dont connect with anybody, I always feel like an outsider and playing a role. I just try to fit in, and i'm sick of it. Better be alone than pretend to be something i'm not. Sucks that all people my age only can focus on drinking, drugs and parties. I cant relate to any of that stuff, it doesnt do anything for me.
I relate to this soo much, I always feel like I have to put up an act at school all the time and I always feel so uncomfortable and drained because of it.
It really sucks. I really wish I had more goal-oriented friends. None of my friends go to the gym or do anything active. All we do together is drink, eat, or smoke. Really hope to make new friends after covid.
Felt. I moved from an alternative school that had about 3 kid in a class to a public school with about 3000 kids. I thought i could make friends or feel like a part of something . It was the exact opposite i felt like a robot walking down the crowded halls. Finding friends seems impossible. All the guys were literally copy and pasted each-others personalities as well as the girls. Needless to say im going back to that alternative school.
I LOOOOOVE being alone. I strive being alone. I'm able to work on myself, sit in silence and get things done more productively. I have even traveled cross country 3 separate times alone, just me and my thoughts. I think more people should spend more time alone, you really get to know yourself.
May God bless you and be with you. I share this with you. John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me. John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. 25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written. John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Where can one start reading The Bible? In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts. about existence of God: th-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/w-d-xo.html about Scriptures, videos are in English: jezus.simplesite.com/435491565 Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
So glad I found this video tonight. Have been getting so drained trying to fit in and socialize with people who are essentially jerks, who seem to squeeze the life out of who I really am. I sacrifice endlessly trying to please people around me who I hardly even respect. Compromise, compromise, compromise myself to people who basically use me and drain me! I'm tired of giving myself away to people who don't really appreciate my true worth. When I am ALONE, then I quickly regain my own great sense of harmony and self-worth. I get back in synch with MYSELF. And I'm endlessly interested in exploring so many things in life when I get to be by myself. Being forced to be in with others inevitably requires I get into THEIR Agenda, and not my own.
Straight facts. I found for myself that when I'm having an issue the best thing to do is go be alone, not just from people but everything. No social media, no tv, no music, just me and silence. Then I stay in that until I fully understand the situation and slay the dragon. I used to depend on other people for help and it made me weak. Doing it all on your own is very difficult but it will make you stronger than everyone around you. This will make you unbreakable because other people's opinions truely do not matter.
This is so true because you become very self aware and begin to confront the lies we tell ourselves and accept and or mourn the reality that made us stagnant. You are very insightful. Great comment! 👍
To make others 'not matter' was heartbreaking, I had so much love to give. They let me down, I didn't give up. Then their disrespect made me realise, I am not here to be used and discarded whenever they choose. I've allowed abusive relationships because of this kinda thing before. No. I loved them. But I can't keep letting them treat me, like an 'afterthought'. That made me dislike me and no, I didn't agree to that. So off they can fxck
I rarely hung out w friends even precovid but there’s a difference between being alone and FEELING alone. And feeling alone doesn’t feel good. Feeling like you’re alone sucks. Having no one to turn to or lean on or talk to when you’re feeling shitty sucks.
I lost my wife one year ago, now I'm on that stage of learning to be alone. I've been debating weather to go into a new relationship, however being that we humans are so complicated I have concluded that staying single it's the best option.
Wow I could never be alone I mean completely alone , I think it’s sad however I don’t have friends just neighbours I chat w , my family is first and I’m happy.., sorry to hear about your wife !
I respect your decision! I have never lost a wife so my heart goes out to you and although I don’t know what your going through.... we, the chat, are always here to talk. Hope today was a great day. My uncle told me for a long time everyday in the morning to “kick today’s ass”. ❤️❤️
If you meet someone you meet someone if you don't then you don't, it will just happen, you sound well adjusted, don't look she will come if that is the plan........Blessings....
"you need to get so bored to the point where you cannot avoid those things you dislike about yourself and so you have to either accept or go about changing them" I love it
I was extremely insecure back in college, putting my self worth into girls. After graduating college and distancing myself from toxic friends (deleting all my social media accounts) I've become a lot more successful. Great shape, good finances, and good job. Stay single brothers, have women chase you, they eventually will, as long as you keep working on yourself.
Find friends that share common niche interests. Like board gaming, astronomy/star gazing, etc. As an introvert it’s perfect to do this with one other person or in small groups.
This is what I'm going to do eventually. Right now I'm focused on my studiees still. After I'm done I'm going to work to live (not live to work) and get into some hobbies that I know I'll meet the right people at. "Find friends that share common niche interests" is definitely a great way of putting it!
Doesn't really make you an alpha that's just a winners mindset lol, most people who like to be to themselves like myself. usually have depression or feel stuck and lonely at times in life this happens to everyone rather your use to being alone or not. no one is ever always happy its life. i feel like it has its pros and cons because when your alone you can accomplish a lot in life but if you also have a team of people who have trust with in each other you can go further its just about the mind set and the people your around in life.
Being alone is therapeutic. it heals you. You get rid of that constant dependence of external stimulus. You are not longer a kid with his sugar cravings.
Exactly! Attachment is how a baby survives, only when your fully independent can you say I'm no longer a child. The modern world is full of children in adults bodies.
Totally agree. I feel a bit sorry for people who are always on their phones, communicating everything they are doing, how they are feeling. Why do they need validation?
2:50 HONESTLY THO can we normalize enjoying our time being alone? it has such a negative stigma in highschool i don't understand why everyone is so hung over making as much friends as possible when they will probably never talk again after highschool
That is so true. I felt like something was wrong with me because I didn't want to socialize, go to parties, etc., that I had to push myself to go to be more social-able. Not until I was out of college and in the real world did I feel the pressure go away.
Been trying to live alone for a while. It’s not cheap. It’s much cheaper with roommates and cutting cost down. However. You are who you hang out with. And it’s hard to find folk trying to improve constantly.
I love it! "I fully love myself AKA I fully love being alone and I'm totally invested into my craft, into my purpose and my passion. When I feel I've achieved my highest form of success then I should be focusing on creating a relationship with a women"
so happy to see this video I am 37 years old and I wish this kind of videos 15 years ago when I was super young! Just wasted the best years of my life on running into clubs dancing, drinking crap lot of alcohol and taking drugs. so happy young ppl are awakening and see how fake it all is and also dropping watching porn is so important so happy to see young man already being vegan and having high awareness levels :)
The process is one tough deal. I am in my last year of High-School but, I already have this awakening somewhere. Presently, I'm constantly choosing to follow the divine guidance. It's a tough process to maintain during school hours when, there are constant instances going around or when you're that odd ball who talks about real things to invest into. I want to spend my entire life alone, find who I am and explore my spritual origins and wanna get rid of all these distractions. I'm currently going through this conflict, a state of mind where I have to choose either being with myself or to stay in my fake version for the gratification of certain validation which I can obviously give myself.
I agree with a lot of things you said. We should normalize saying "no" to see your friends when you simply don't want to and want to spend time by yourself. My friends will sometimes insist for me to go to our plans or judge me if I say no and it shouldn't be like this.
Cole, I really needed this. I'm literally crying while watching this video. I just got out of a toxic 5 year relationship where I just kept losing myself and my morals due to another human being but stayed because I didn't know how to be alone with myself. Your videos are my go to self care videos now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Quality over quantity. I have no social media, no tv, and I appreciate all that is actually in my life right now! I love my alone time.... I have never really had an issue with this.....! Learning to validate me myself and I 🙌🏻.... connecting to the inner true self! “The company of others will have to be just as good as or better than my alone time and isolation! Yay! ✨✨✨
I did this last year. I took a job teaching out in a tiny country town. The result was a lot of solitude to go inward and that has had a profound impact on my life.
Hey Cole, you explained the same that I had in my mind since lockdown started a year ago. I spent a lot of time alone feeling it like a blessing. Thanks for this video, it confirmes we are on the right way. “All I needed was the last thing I wanted / To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud”
I really resonate with what you shared on this video!! Thank you for being a part of the "alone" group (BY CHOICE) It takes great strength to be one with self!! I'm so much happier ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️⚘
Cole, your level of emotional intelligence is impressive. I am a 51 year old dude and dig receiving advice and perspective from younger adults especially ones that are emotionally in check. Thanks for your great content my brother.
This is kinda funny, I got recommended this literally an hour after I just said goodbye to my dad. He lives in another country for work and came to visit for the first time in months, and this happens to be the longest I’ve seen him in one visit, in years. He’s grown to become more than a dad to me, he’s my best friend. Thanks to him I got into lifting and honestly the biggest thing getting me through to seeing him next is going to be lifting. This video honestly speaks facts about what I’ve learned over the past months with not seeing him.
Dude spot on. 2020 was the year of vision because many people finally saw what the world was about and discovered more about themselves and what their place in the world is. There are so many ways to improve yourself that you can easily spend a lot of time by yourself, addicted to yourself, trying to achieve your own accomplishments.
This randomly popped up in my suggestions. I feel the same way. I started living alone in the middle of 2019, and I love it but my friends think it's weird that I like being alone. I've picked some new hobbies and I'm working on trying to make my hobby my job. I still enjoy hanging out with friends, but I want to do it less. The quarantine has made that pretty easy though.
It feels so much better to hear your views on this because I used to think I'm the only person on the planet like that and when i removed those distraction i got soo much empty time and zero friends,i started feeling more empty every time and just neglected my feelings too,tbh everyday it feels like an livin'dead body, I just wish,some worthy people enter my life too and there should be an social networking for loners like me,and those who have an hard time open up nd all,where they are unfiltered from every superficial factors...
Being alone is therapeutic, but also having the right friends and support around is too. Quarantine has changed the way that I interact with my people, but I've adapted other ways to strengthen the bonds. And by seeking out the strong friendships I had, and committing to making them better, I've seen my life improve. I say this as a person who lives alone, and does more than 50 percent of things by myself. We're not meant to be by ourselves.
i'm glad you mentioned that being a full-time hermit is not healthy long-term and won't produce happiness as this is something i struggle with, and i've learned through taking courses on attachment style theory that hyper-independence is a subconscious strategy to keep yourself safe (because you have poor boundaries which stems from enmeshment trauma, and so you associate relationships as being exhausting, as not being seen, heard, understood because you don't know how to set boundaries and so you avoid people)
I feel this video on a spiritual level. Literally hardly have any friends, I spend most of my time alone doing things I enjoy doing without having to worry about if the other person is having fun. I never get bored because I have such a consistent overflow of thoughts and ideas that I love exploring and researching (I’m a writer and entrepreneur) I only talk to a few people (text or social media) but don’t feel the need to be around others all the time. It’s so cool knowing there are others like this lol.
I was with an old friend last night after a long time and we were just talking deep things, letting things out. I was telling them a lot of what Cole is saying here but through emotional hindsight, Today I click on this video and Cole tells me everything I needed to hear in much sharper execution. Wonderful!
I’ve been going through this a lot thanks for the advice it helps a lot when nobody understands you and you can’t talk to anybody about what your going through
This is a very important video - it basically touches upon almost everything that people need to realize about this superficial time period we're living in and how people waste so much time on things that don't have any meaning to them.
I needed to hear this because I have friends that actually judge me for choosing to do things by myself like that makes me weird but actually the more time I do spend by myself I am growing in personal development and it’s less distractions. I’m working on self love still and it’s been a journey. Thank you so much!
Spending most of the time alone is nothing new to me and has allowed me to do some very deep diving into my core being. I'm grateful I've had the time without distraction to pursue this necessary journey of self-reflection. Cole, your voice was made for that microphone bro! ...............The audience is listening!
Got curved hard by a girl I thought I really loved, and need to re-find the love of being alone and improving myself, this video is a Godsend. I don’t know if there are any Christians in this fan base but if there are then please pray for me
May He the exalted one heal all your soul and body and make you content with yourself and make it easier for you Ameen( I am not a Christian but I still wanted to pray for you because it's about humanity and compassion)
This video was just recommended to me - and it couldn’t have been better timing. My ex gf recently broke up with me and I’ve been really hurting living alone. I have passions and am very self motivated, but it’s hard getting used to being alone again. Thanks for the raw thoughts!
The past hurts. Where childhood was devastating. Broken family, useless relations , friends so much so you become comfortable alone. I feel peaceful. Its been 5 years since i left everyone.
Ive learned "friends" drag you down. Over the years, I too have dissassociated with these "friends" and more kept my few best ones who live out of state and kept acquantences locally.
Is only me and my son who has autism. All my friends ex friends started giving up on me, because my time was dedicated to my son. Oh well 👋 👋 👋 thanks for the video im not alone ..💪💪🙏
If they stopped talking to you because you’re focused on taking care of your son then they aren’t worth your time anyways. Your kids always come first no matter what
Ive been on the self improvement train on and off for the past few years. You helped me refocus my energy. Seeing a fellow young man talk about ideas that resonate me is so powerful. Thank you, I genuinely appreciate you
Thank you for this video x I'm feeling the same way. I just want to be in my own company. Even the people around me, friends and family, I've revised what they add to my life and how I add to theirs, and it's not an equal give and take. I'd prefer to be alone and invest that energy into myself. Just be at peace x
I like how genuine you sounds in your videos. Seems like you actually have gone through this transformation. Very inspiring. Thanks for creating this content
I don't really have friends, pretty much by choice. This was before covid, etc. I need a lot of alone time and recovery from social interactions. I just chalk it up to being introverted and overwhelmed by extrovert haha
As a fellow introvert I somehow always ended up in friendships with extroverts which never worked out cause they couldn’t understand my need to recharge and I couldn’t understand their need to keep interacting. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to find an introverted friend they’re hiding away like me 😂
I’m with you in the idea of recharging after a day of hanging out with people or interactions in general..I thought I was weird because of that but glad I’m not the only one
Stoked I came across this video. I'm totally on this frequency in my life rn. My main focus in life is working on myself non-stop and growing spiritually. So much in our society is meant only to hold us down and control us. I gave up porn years ago, gave up social media, gave up drinking n smoking weed..the whole mission has been to naturally be stoked on life,give up unhealthy distractions and addictions that are only making me weaker...and to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. My anxiety is so much better, I'm overall happier and feel way more free. And yes I really enjoy my alone time. I think we fear facing our uncomfortable feelings so much we do anything to distract and numb them and push it away for later.when in reality this makes us so much more unhappy n weak in the bigger picture. Facing the uncomfortable really isn't as scary as we believe it to be after u decide to do it.
This is my fave vid rn. Super relatable. I used to always want to be around people, find a partner or worry about what others are doing; resulting in unconscious avoidance of the sadness and anger I have kept buried. Been trying to do better about having alone time and this video was the sign and push that I needed. Thank you so much.
GREAT WISDOM! I'm glad I ran across this video. I've been alone over a year waiting for my fiancé to get her visa and now I'm liking it and getting cold feet! It's also been the most productive time of my life!
Thank you Cole for sharing this video. I have been in a depression due to a recent breakup and so that is the reason why I stumble on this video as Im currently looking for the things to do to overcome this feeling. I have watched some of your videos regarding breakups as well and it motivates me to just focus on bettering myself for now.
This video is profound and this channel is profound. Thanks for creating a positive place where like minded can share tips on purpose, joy, and meaning.
I am 40 and went into different relationships since I was 25. Now I have had enough. I am not alone since I co-parent my son. But 50% of the time I am alone. I start to learn to be alone since I watch your videos. I go to the gym, doing my 2nd bachelor, sometimes invite friends....I recognize I have hated myself for so long but no more! I am my best friend, not other people. If I look around I notice that there are so many unhappy relationships. Fear, anxiety, financial issues, children, dependency etc. are all factors why couples stay with eachother....
I relate to this on a deep level! I spend almost all of my time alone despite having plenty of friends, even before Coronavirus happened. Thanks for this video bro!
You’re absolutely incredible and your energy spent on helping others, like me, in this world will reward you greatly! Thank you for all the content you post. I’m binge watching (again) :)
The points you make are right and I agree my brother. I've watched some of your videos and here are my thoughts. Let me give you a perspective to keep in mind for sometime and future conversation you might encounter. I live in East Africa, Ethiopia - Second populated country in Africa and full of different ethnicities (more than 80 to be exact). Also countries like Nigeria, South Africa and Ghana also have more than 200. The reason I pulled out these things is that even in a small area, people with different perception of time spending differs. The one thing that's common amongst is that families and friends like to spend half of their day together. People constantly, almost daily go to Temples, churches, mosques, and synagogues to exercise their religion and spend most time with others alot like alot and have weekly or monthly feasts. People here value time with their reason for existence. I can say 50% to 70% think earth is a transition place from one life to another. So, everything they do can only stay with the memories of others. Even in most independent individuals, that are more independent financially, and time they choose to do the things that I stated above. Maybe just maybe, our exposure to the things we value might differ. That's just my thought.
I am currently on the path of finding my purpose. Been starting to isolate myself in the end of 2019 before corona even forced us to be alone but I had really started to take time for myself. I’m naturally an introvert and gain more energy from being myself and I always kind of did that already but it was to the point where I would stop talking to my friends and “try” to stop interacting with my family, even though I still lived with them and just be alone. Been going through this ever since then and still now but I’ve learned so much about myself and have been able to fight some demons such as a porn and master action addiction and still currently fighting it but I’ve been able to just accept myself for who I am and become the greatest version of myself. Literally went from a lazy piece of shit who didn’t take care of himself to being able to cook my own healthy meals, getting enough sleep, starting to meditate, exercise more, and plenty of other stuff. The next chapter in my life is to truly find my purpose and start connecting with others again. But I’ve been through ups and downs during this journey but it was much needed
Great video! Totally agree with you.. I feel like so many people today focus on how many “friends” they have or how popular they are but aren’t cognizant of how much/little those people actually better their life :/
Thanks for this video. Everything here is true. I remember how much I loved spending time alone and figuring out what I loved and disliked. Who I am truly. But after a 5 year relationship . You’re too use to being with your other half. Seems a bit frightening especially not being with your loved one anymore but I’m slowly accepting how to be alone & just meet myself again.
I still crave it, especially touch from others and simply conversation but I can say spending these past 6 months alone, voluntarily and also involuntary, has made me a much stronger, new found person who now respect herself. Hope you guys keep your head up on this journey, you’re not alone!
I spent so much time alone throughout high school and college (mostly quarantine) that it actually became a lot more negative than beneficial. It allowed an environment where I just played my negative thoughts on loop although I did my absolute best to feel better without friends and drugs. Ive been highly introspective and spiritual from 15 and I realized incorporating outside perspectives and going out often out of the house and out your comfort bubble is super important to crushing bad habits and mindsets. I still spend most of my time alone. I work and have passion projects, but most of the time, I feel like my house is a prison. Like Stockholm's syndrome. It locks me here yet I stay for comfort, because I am in control and nobody can reject me in my own house. Bottom line, I am more comfortable alone than with people and that has been bad for my own mental health. I've also never really liked most of my friends and the ones I do like, focus a lot on their own goals which are often different than mine. So we do stuff like work and eat together but thats about it.
I have been enjoying my alone time for years now..and am super growing soo well...emotionally and spiritually....and i hv seen a big huge difference in my life...thank you for sharing man.
this really helps me alot,after i watch your videos about how you cope yourself from breakup,ive been waken up and i had realized that ive been blessed ,rather than in a toxic begging for my ex to comeback,it really sucks when i remember how foolish i am to beg her to comeback eventhough she'd cheated on me,you really a big help bro.👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
What is peaceful for me is boring for others. I still choose what is peaceful for me. Peace and happiness goes hand in hand. You cant be happy with a troubled mind. I am alone but never lonely. I am happy when i am at peace.
I agree that it's much better to stay alone than to go out making medicore friends that do nothing but bring you down, but in a sea of so many incompatible people it's important you stay open minded on the off chance you find people that are like minded
I consider myself a loner and I’m ok with that. I have 3 people that I consider friends and they have been my friends for the best part of my life. I’ve never felt the need to be popular or even liked. I value loyalty and trustworthiness. So don’t say you don’t have many friends like it’s a bad thing, you’re just selective about who you call a genuine friend. Nothing wrong with that.
This is exactly what my 2020 quarantine was dedicated to. I have always been an introvert, so I wasn't the type of person who copes with their problems by spending a lot of time with others, but still, I wasn't happy with myself at all. I got to the point where I didn't know what to do anymore, I consciously decided not to seek comfort in food, Netflix, sex, and other distractions that became so popular due to isolation. It was the best decision I could ever have made. It was a beautiful journey, quite bumpy at the start, but totally worthed it ❤️❤️❤️
Being alone should be more socially acceptable because it’s completely normal to focus on yourself without others.
It all depends on the reason why your alone
We come into this realm alone, we leave it alone. So why is attachments to stuff we don't bring or take with us put on a such a pedestal?
It doesn't sell products tho bro.
Being alone also means you don't give a shit what society says about being alone.
@@LHAX-24 well it sucks when the reason is because people don’t want you around.
Coincidentally (although I don't think it's a coincidence), hours after recording this video one of my "friends" came over to tell me he basically betrayed me (not going to go into details as that wouldn't be respectful). The universe has been doing an amazing job this year at removing everything that was taking me further away from my purpose. This has been the best worst year of my life, no doubt. Extremely grateful.
Dang that sucks man, but its also a good thing so you can focus on your goals. I'm kinda in the same boat right now literally just using this free time to work from home and as soon as that's done, I focus on nutrition and exercise.
Fuck yeah dude you're leveling up
same here, all these setbacks really just give you the space and time to focus on what important for you
Keep up the positivity. Every rock bottom will prove to have been a crucial learning experience in hindsight. You started getting reach on this channel. Often times we tend to think in black in white over a peroid of time. "this year has been all bad" and then we only recollect the negative experiences while in fact it has been highs and low and we forget the other.
Keep up the great work.
Also it migjt be fun to see you attempting a calisthenics training session(maybe even with some tries at dynamic moves?) in a future video.
Thank you for the kind words. Would love to try out some calisthenics
I absolutely enjoy being alone. I love the freedom, peace, serenity and calmness. Nothing better. :)
Same, if I think of doing something with someone else I think nah I much prefer to do it by myself, it's less effort and organisation. Maybe it's laziness lol
Totally agree. I don't need to negotiate with anyone about what I do and when. I'd worry that they weren't having fun, that they really didn't want to do what I wanted to do but were just going along, etc.; it would be exhausting.
When i think that it would be nice to have a relationship i remember there is no one else who can understand me as much as myself. So i prefer to stay alone. xD
Exactly 💯👏🏼❤️❤️❤️I agree with everyone's comments
Ikr same
Quit smoking tobacco and grass, quit all soda drinks and alcohol just because i watched your vids man, you opened my eyes. I was in a deep, dark place and you pulled me out! Just want to say thanks man. Peace and keep up the spirit! Love the vibe that i get from watching.
Wow, that's incredible. It makes me so happy to know Im impacting people's lives like this. Thank you for letting me know my friend
Yeah i was also thinking of quitting alcohol, maybe only drinking with good friends from time to time, but not every weekend or so. Because i noticed that alcohol has a little bad effect on my good habits.
Yo this is great man, just broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months and am trying to get back to the feeling of being okay with being alone.
Hope this helped Shawn. Time will heal everything and you'll be better than ever soon
my partner of 7 years, wife of 5 years, mother of my son and i have just seperated; my son is with his mom half of the time. I am a foreigner in a small french town and I will spend christmas alone, This video makes a lot of sense.
meditate on how much you love yourself beign alone and how much you loved beign alone and that one day someome will love you for who you are.
@@rickymak7209 Where you from in France?
@@Amy-qo2uq I am not from france, i am a foreigner who lives in a small french town
I love being alone. Even doing things alone like traveling. It’s so convenient and I just worry about myself. Friends often disappoint me.
Edit: 6/16/21 just came back from a solo road trip to Vegas and it had to be the best Vegas trip I have ever been in. No stress, no drama
Traveling alone is true liberation. Because I'm alone, I'm more approachable. And usually I'll attract like minded solo travelers along the way.
Me too, "Friends let you down" is a proverb.....We can meet folks along the way......The above comment although short tells me that you are very content and settled.........Blessings........
Traveling alone is the best.
I should really start traveling solo. A lot of my friends are broke and not doing anything to better themselves. I want to wait for them but there's a whole world out there! :(
Relatable!
Its funny as a man gets older...
The more and more people distance themselves. Turns out, your just discovering yourself and what makes you happy. People are just distractions because most of your life you really are alone. So better to understand you with you!
Facts
Ture, now that I'm older I don't hang out with my friends as much. Of course my friend has a kid.
I hope your right. I keep craving being alone and it feels like it's a problem I should solve (at least according to my friends and family). Idk I hope it means I'm growing up and it's not because I'm selfish.
@@clairesmith1915 same, I heard it all my life. "Why do you always run away from a fight and want alone time, why you take a walk after someone passed away, why are you 40 and never been married and no kids? Why are you so selfish?" I think all those family members, past ex's, and friends understand now. And I bet they see me now, and understand being selfish and that rude or a$$holish as you get older. Its called looking out for yourself. In the end its only you and you alone. F family, f love, and f friends. Show affection but to no one more than yourself! I sleep like a baby at night by the way!
@@jtorres5381 btw starting a family is very selfish too...we are all essentially self serving...self interest is core motivational factor for anything..
I was in an abusive relationship because I was afraid of being alone. I was so afraid of my own company. After it ended I discovered that I love my company. Sometimes I prefer my own company than the company of my friends. Reading a book. Studying. Learning. Doing exercises. It's better to be alone than do seek superficial relationships
I like yoga. Glad you are in a better space.
I was in an abusive marriage, because I was an idiot, and thought getting married was what was expected of me. February 2021 is ten years I've been divorced. Mostly, I miss the companionship. Especially around the holidays. It was me and my little cat, now, it's just me. Sure, I can do what I want, spend my time as I want, spend my money, etc., without being chewed out, but, I do miss the companionship.
@@montymartin3978 which is normal, people have a biological need for touch
there was an experiment with babies when they fed the babies but they didn't physically held the babies and they had to stop the experiment because half the babies died, literally from the lack of physical touch
adults have the same needs for physical touch like babies
which is hard nowadays due to social distancing
yeah I think a bad relationship ending was something that was a real wake up call that I had to learn to be alone and learn to not base my self worth around girls.
I always think the bad things in life open the door to the good stuff! Without bad, there is no good. Ying and yang baby!
The best relationship you are going to have in this lifetime; is the relationship with your self.
Thank you
I feel more lonely with people than by myself. I dont connect with anybody, I always feel like an outsider and playing a role. I just try to fit in, and i'm sick of it. Better be alone than pretend to be something i'm not. Sucks that all people my age only can focus on drinking, drugs and parties. I cant relate to any of that stuff, it doesnt do anything for me.
I relate to this soo much, I always feel like I have to put up an act at school all the time and I always feel so uncomfortable and drained because of it.
It really sucks. I really wish I had more goal-oriented friends. None of my friends go to the gym or do anything active. All we do together is drink, eat, or smoke.
Really hope to make new friends after covid.
Felt. I moved from an alternative school that had about 3 kid in a class to a public school with about 3000 kids. I thought i could make friends or feel like a part of something . It was the exact opposite i felt like a robot walking down the crowded halls. Finding friends seems impossible. All the guys were literally copy and pasted each-others personalities as well as the girls. Needless to say im going back to that alternative school.
I relate so much dude omg and feel the same wayb
I know right, i fell the exact same.
I LOOOOOVE being alone. I strive being alone. I'm able to work on myself, sit in silence and get things done more productively. I have even traveled cross country 3 separate times alone, just me and my thoughts. I think more people should spend more time alone, you really get to know yourself.
DThats fire
May God bless you and be with you.
I share this with you.
John 14: 21 He who has My (Jesus) commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” 22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
John 21: 24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.
25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.
John 7: 37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “[g]If anyone is thirsty, [h]let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From [i]his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” 39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
Where can one start reading The Bible?
In The New Testament: The Gospel of John and/or Acts.
about existence of God:
th-cam.com/video/BljrAME1LLw/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/7c9PaZzsqEg/w-d-xo.html
about Scriptures, videos are in English:
jezus.simplesite.com/435491565
Romans 6: 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
That’s pretty cool I wanna travel by myself one dah
@@hemiwithasemii I highly recommend it. I really hope you do too.
Yes, the coffine is a lonely place. Best get used to it while living
So glad I found this video tonight. Have been getting so drained trying to fit in and socialize with people who are essentially jerks, who seem to squeeze the life out of who I really am.
I sacrifice endlessly trying to please people around me who I hardly even respect.
Compromise, compromise, compromise myself to people who basically use me and drain me! I'm tired of giving myself away to people who don't really appreciate my true worth.
When I am ALONE, then I quickly regain my own great sense of harmony and self-worth. I get back in synch with MYSELF. And I'm endlessly interested in exploring so many things in life when I get to be by myself. Being forced to be in with others inevitably requires I get into THEIR Agenda, and not my own.
Straight facts. I found for myself that when I'm having an issue the best thing to do is go be alone, not just from people but everything. No social media, no tv, no music, just me and silence. Then I stay in that until I fully understand the situation and slay the dragon. I used to depend on other people for help and it made me weak. Doing it all on your own is very difficult but it will make you stronger than everyone around you. This will make you unbreakable because other people's opinions truely do not matter.
This is so true because you become very self aware and begin to confront the lies we tell ourselves and accept and or mourn the reality that made us stagnant. You are very insightful. Great comment! 👍
That’s was cold g
@@tiffanyh9015 How can I come to accept my self?
To make others 'not matter' was heartbreaking, I had so much love to give. They let me down, I didn't give up.
Then their disrespect made me realise, I am not here to be used and discarded whenever they choose. I've allowed abusive relationships because of this kinda thing before.
No. I loved them. But I can't keep letting them treat me, like an 'afterthought'. That made me dislike me and no, I didn't agree to that. So off they can fxck
I rarely hung out w friends even precovid but there’s a difference between being alone and FEELING alone. And feeling alone doesn’t feel good. Feeling like you’re alone sucks. Having no one to turn to or lean on or talk to when you’re feeling shitty sucks.
Tt
Being alone is my natural state of existence and I see no reason to change that ✨
Otherwise you'll be too busy trying to mould yourself into what others want rather than seeking independent thought and purpose
I have very little friends. And some very big friends too.
you mean close friends
Same
@KRALLI hahahah
Glad I'm not the only one that came here to say this, lol
I'm lost r we talking about dick sizes
I lost my wife one year ago, now I'm on that stage of learning to be alone. I've been debating weather to go into a new relationship, however being that we humans are so complicated I have concluded that staying single it's the best option.
My condolences Sir. You sound quite grounded in your thinking and attitude. No need to wish you good luck. You've got this.
Wow I could never be alone I mean completely alone , I think it’s sad however I don’t have friends just neighbours I chat w , my family is first and I’m happy.., sorry to hear about your wife !
I respect your decision! I have never lost a wife so my heart goes out to you and although I don’t know what your going through.... we, the chat, are always here to talk. Hope today was a great day. My uncle told me for a long time everyday in the morning to “kick today’s ass”. ❤️❤️
If you meet someone you meet someone if you don't then you don't, it will just happen, you sound well adjusted, don't look she will come if that is the plan........Blessings....
try traveling, ma boy
"you need to get so bored to the point where you cannot avoid those things you dislike about yourself and so you have to either accept or go about changing them" I love it
I love that you have the balls to post a video like this, it takes guts to be comfortable being by yourself. Fair play to you bro.
I was extremely insecure back in college, putting my self worth into girls. After graduating college and distancing myself from toxic friends (deleting all my social media accounts)
I've become a lot more successful. Great shape, good finances, and good job. Stay single brothers, have women chase you, they eventually will, as long as you keep working on yourself.
Facts
I’m too ugly and stupid for women to chase me
@@lightingrod5907 With that attitude. Prop yourself up. You'll get better if you believe you can.
women will only ‘chase you’ for your money so good luck with that route LMAO
@@AkwaIbomDoll , money = options. People don't need to settle if they have money. If a chick is not loyal just find another one.
Find friends that share common niche interests. Like board gaming, astronomy/star gazing, etc. As an introvert it’s perfect to do this with one other person or in small groups.
I love those things, we should be friends! 🤗🤗
This is what I'm going to do eventually. Right now I'm focused on my studiees still. After I'm done I'm going to work to live (not live to work) and get into some hobbies that I know I'll meet the right people at.
"Find friends that share common niche interests" is definitely a great way of putting it!
The ability to be alone is Alpha as fuck! Not everyone can do it. Needing nothing attracts everything 💯
🔥🔥 couldn’t be more truth then what you just said
Doesn't really make you an alpha that's just a winners mindset lol, most people who like to be to themselves like myself. usually have depression or feel stuck and lonely at times in life this happens to everyone rather your use to being alone or not. no one is ever always happy its life. i feel like it has its pros and cons because when your alone you can accomplish a lot in life but if you also have a team of people who have trust with in each other you can go further its just about the mind set and the people your around in life.
introverts be like
first time
Agree!I think if ur someone that is doing something just because other people do it is absolutely pathetic.¨
Actually ... it's 'Sigma' af ...
Being alone is therapeutic. it heals you. You get rid of that constant dependence of external stimulus. You are not longer a kid with his sugar cravings.
Exactly! Attachment is how a baby survives, only when your fully independent can you say I'm no longer a child. The modern world is full of children in adults bodies.
Totally agree. I feel a bit sorry for people who are always on their phones, communicating everything they are doing, how they are feeling. Why do they need validation?
People should learn how to be alone more, it gives you time to get to know yourself & not need validation from others. I love it.
2:50 HONESTLY THO can we normalize enjoying our time being alone? it has such a negative stigma in highschool i don't understand why everyone is so hung over making as much friends as possible when they will probably never talk again after highschool
That's why I never made real friends there. I just stuck to my only small group to keep each other occupied for six years of schooling
@@zack_isaak5894 what I’m worried about is I can’t find that small group, like it’s just too hard
That is so true. I felt like something was wrong with me because I didn't want to socialize, go to parties, etc., that I had to push myself to go to be more social-able. Not until I was out of college and in the real world did I feel the pressure go away.
True, I don't know many people who still keep in touch after high school.
It's all about popularity...
Working out at home by your self listening to music. The best type of loneliness you can do but not everyone can do
Could not do it any other way! Music and Gym has kept me sane and content.
Pure facts 💯
Been trying to live alone for a while. It’s not cheap. It’s much cheaper with roommates and cutting cost down. However. You are who you hang out with. And it’s hard to find folk trying to improve constantly.
Yeah...that is the only problem 😕 so hard to afford everything alone..arrh makes me so angry
So true. Especially in California.
That’s true I have been so insecure about others but not me so now I wanna spend time alone for some time to find myself.
I love it! "I fully love myself AKA I fully love being alone and I'm totally invested into my craft, into my purpose and my passion. When I feel I've achieved my highest form of success then I should be focusing on creating a relationship with a women"
so happy to see this video I am 37 years old and I wish this kind of videos 15 years ago when I was super young! Just wasted the best years of my life on running into clubs dancing, drinking crap lot of alcohol and taking drugs. so happy young ppl are awakening and see how fake it all is and also dropping watching porn is so important so happy to see young man already being vegan and having high awareness levels :)
I'm also 37 and the same was go on through my mind :)
I really love being alone and I never feel lonely. Thank you for this video.
The process is one tough deal. I am in my last year of High-School but, I already have this awakening somewhere. Presently, I'm constantly choosing to follow the divine guidance. It's a tough process to maintain during school hours when, there are constant instances going around or when you're that odd ball who talks about real things to invest into. I want to spend my entire life alone, find who I am and explore my spritual origins and wanna get rid of all these distractions. I'm currently going through this conflict, a state of mind where I have to choose either being with myself or to stay in my fake version for the gratification of certain validation which I can obviously give myself.
I agree with a lot of things you said. We should normalize saying "no" to see your friends when you simply don't want to and want to spend time by yourself. My friends will sometimes insist for me to go to our plans or judge me if I say no and it shouldn't be like this.
💯
They ain't your friends, then.
Being alone really helps you appreciate the simple but important things in life.
Cole, I really needed this. I'm literally crying while watching this video. I just got out of a toxic 5 year relationship where I just kept losing myself and my morals due to another human being but stayed because I didn't know how to be alone with myself. Your videos are my go to self care videos now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I will invest more time to myself to grow. 21 year-sold-young
- never too late to change
Quality over quantity. I have no social media, no tv, and I appreciate all that is actually in my life right now! I love my alone time.... I have never really had an issue with this.....! Learning to validate me myself and I 🙌🏻.... connecting to the inner true self! “The company of others will have to be just as good as or better than my alone time and isolation! Yay! ✨✨✨
👏🏾 the truth has been spoken
You are stunning 😍
I love solitude, I feel the power, kindness compassion and unparalleled bliss..♥️♥️♥️
I noticed that when I went on a few hikes by myself, it was so relaxing and peaceful and I was glad I discovered I can have fun all on my own 👍
I did this last year. I took a job teaching out in a tiny country town. The result was a lot of solitude to go inward and that has had a profound impact on my life.
Hey Cole, you explained the same that I had in my mind since lockdown started a year ago. I spent a lot of time alone feeling it like a blessing. Thanks for this video, it confirmes we are on the right way. “All I needed was the last thing I wanted / To sit alone in a room and say it all out loud”
agree agree agree, also have just a little amount of friends, but i know, that THEY are real friends. no complainers, and haters, doubters etc.
I really resonate with what you shared on this video!! Thank you for being a part of the "alone" group (BY CHOICE) It takes great strength to be one with self!! I'm so much happier ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️⚘
Cole, your level of emotional intelligence is impressive. I am a 51 year old dude and dig receiving advice and perspective from younger adults especially ones that are emotionally in check. Thanks for your great content my brother.
Thank you I really needed this we are alone but not lonely ❤️
You make a good point. Self Care. Self Love.
This is kinda funny, I got recommended this literally an hour after I just said goodbye to my dad. He lives in another country for work and came to visit for the first time in months, and this happens to be the longest I’ve seen him in one visit, in years. He’s grown to become more than a dad to me, he’s my best friend. Thanks to him I got into lifting and honestly the biggest thing getting me through to seeing him next is going to be lifting. This video honestly speaks facts about what I’ve learned over the past months with not seeing him.
Dude spot on. 2020 was the year of vision because many people finally saw what the world was about and discovered more about themselves and what their place in the world is. There are so many ways to improve yourself that you can easily spend a lot of time by yourself, addicted to yourself, trying to achieve your own accomplishments.
This randomly popped up in my suggestions. I feel the same way. I started living alone in the middle of 2019, and I love it but my friends think it's weird that I like being alone. I've picked some new hobbies and I'm working on trying to make my hobby my job. I still enjoy hanging out with friends, but I want to do it less. The quarantine has made that pretty easy though.
It feels so much better to hear your views on this because I used to think I'm the only person on the planet like that and when i removed those distraction i got soo much empty time and zero friends,i started feeling more empty every time and just neglected my feelings too,tbh everyday it feels like an livin'dead body,
I just wish,some worthy people enter my life too and there should be an social networking for loners like me,and those who have an hard time open up nd all,where they are unfiltered from every superficial factors...
Being alone is therapeutic, but also having the right friends and support around is too. Quarantine has changed the way that I interact with my people, but I've adapted other ways to strengthen the bonds. And by seeking out the strong friendships I had, and committing to making them better, I've seen my life improve. I say this as a person who lives alone, and does more than 50 percent of things by myself. We're not meant to be by ourselves.
i'm glad you mentioned that being a full-time hermit is not healthy long-term and won't produce happiness
as this is something i struggle with, and i've learned through taking courses on attachment style theory that hyper-independence is a subconscious strategy to keep yourself safe (because you have poor boundaries which stems from enmeshment trauma, and so you associate relationships as being exhausting, as not being seen, heard, understood because you don't know how to set boundaries and so you avoid people)
I feel this video on a spiritual level. Literally hardly have any friends, I spend most of my time alone doing things I enjoy doing without having to worry about if the other person is having fun. I never get bored because I have such a consistent overflow of thoughts and ideas that I love exploring and researching (I’m a writer and entrepreneur)
I only talk to a few people (text or social media) but don’t feel the need to be around others all the time.
It’s so cool knowing there are others like this lol.
I was with an old friend last night after a long time and we were just talking deep things, letting things out. I was telling them a lot of what Cole is saying here but through emotional hindsight, Today I click on this video and Cole tells me everything I needed to hear in much sharper execution. Wonderful!
I’ve been going through this a lot thanks for the advice it helps a lot when nobody understands you and you can’t talk to anybody about what your going through
Happy with yourself. Truly love yourself. Truly be yourself.
This is a very important video - it basically touches upon almost everything that people need to realize about this superficial time period we're living in and how people waste so much time on things that don't have any meaning to them.
I needed to hear this because I have friends that actually judge me for choosing to do things by myself like that makes me weird but actually the more time I do spend by myself I am growing in personal development and it’s less distractions. I’m working on self love still and it’s been a journey. Thank you so much!
I am loving your content so much! It's great to hear that there are other people out there who really enjoy being alone. :)
Spending most of the time alone is nothing new to me and has allowed me to do some very deep diving into my core being. I'm grateful I've had the time without distraction to pursue this necessary journey of self-reflection.
Cole, your voice was made for that microphone bro! ...............The audience is listening!
Got curved hard by a girl I thought I really loved, and need to re-find the love of being alone and improving myself, this video is a Godsend. I don’t know if there are any Christians in this fan base but if there are then please pray for me
Ok I'll pray for u
Pray been 8 years single God will send us the right Godly person..rejection is Gods protection
Totally
Got u man
May He the exalted one heal all your soul and body and make you content with yourself and make it easier for you Ameen( I am not a Christian but I still wanted to pray for you because it's about humanity and compassion)
Wise wordss
This video was just recommended to me - and it couldn’t have been better timing. My ex gf recently broke up with me and I’ve been really hurting living alone. I have passions and am very self motivated, but it’s hard getting used to being alone again. Thanks for the raw thoughts!
The past hurts. Where childhood was devastating. Broken family, useless relations , friends so much so you become comfortable alone. I feel peaceful. Its been 5 years since i left everyone.
Ive learned "friends" drag you down. Over the years, I too have dissassociated with these "friends" and more kept my few best ones who live out of state and kept acquantences locally.
Oh, amen for supporting yourself and not worrying about what others may be saying!
Is only me and my son who has autism. All my friends ex friends started giving up on me, because my time was dedicated to my son. Oh well 👋 👋 👋 thanks for the video im not alone ..💪💪🙏
Fuck them! You are great man!
If they stopped talking to you because you’re focused on taking care of your son then they aren’t worth your time anyways. Your kids always come first no matter what
Sending care and love
You're doing it right!
Thanks, man. Someone said something I didn't want to hear, but was a true awakening.
Ive been on the self improvement train on and off for the past few years. You helped me refocus my energy. Seeing a fellow young man talk about ideas that resonate me is so powerful. Thank you, I genuinely appreciate you
Thank you for this video x I'm feeling the same way. I just want to be in my own company. Even the people around me, friends and family, I've revised what they add to my life and how I add to theirs, and it's not an equal give and take. I'd prefer to be alone and invest that energy into myself. Just be at peace x
Don't validate my antisocial tendencies or else I might turn full cavemen
facts bro
cavemen lived in tribes, constantly surrounded by ppl
Ahoo ahoo ahoo
@@TiffanyYang0809 solitary coo coo caveman
@@adriantomo5688 haha
I like how genuine you sounds in your videos. Seems like you actually have gone through this transformation. Very inspiring. Thanks for creating this content
I don't really have friends, pretty much by choice. This was before covid, etc. I need a lot of alone time and recovery from social interactions. I just chalk it up to being introverted and overwhelmed by extrovert haha
As a fellow introvert I somehow always ended up in friendships with extroverts which never worked out cause they couldn’t understand my need to recharge and I couldn’t understand their need to keep interacting. Don’t think I’ll ever be able to find an introverted friend they’re hiding away like me 😂
I’m with you in the idea of recharging after a day of hanging out with people or interactions in general..I thought I was weird because of that but glad I’m not the only one
Stoked I came across this video. I'm totally on this frequency in my life rn. My main focus in life is working on myself non-stop and growing spiritually. So much in our society is meant only to hold us down and control us. I gave up porn years ago, gave up social media, gave up drinking n smoking weed..the whole mission has been to naturally be stoked on life,give up unhealthy distractions and addictions that are only making me weaker...and to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. My anxiety is so much better, I'm overall happier and feel way more free. And yes I really enjoy my alone time. I think we fear facing our uncomfortable feelings so much we do anything to distract and numb them and push it away for later.when in reality this makes us so much more unhappy n weak in the bigger picture. Facing the uncomfortable really isn't as scary as we believe it to be after u decide to do it.
As I have been getting older I am enjoying my alone time more and more.
Thank you for making this video
This is my fave vid rn. Super relatable. I used to always want to be around people, find a partner or worry about what others are doing; resulting in unconscious avoidance of the sadness and anger I have kept buried. Been trying to do better about having alone time and this video was the sign and push that I needed. Thank you so much.
Thank you for watching Christina ❤️
GREAT WISDOM! I'm glad I ran across this video. I've been alone over a year waiting for my fiancé to get her visa and now I'm liking it and getting cold feet! It's also been the most productive time of my life!
Thank you Cole for sharing this video. I have been in a depression due to a recent breakup and so that is the reason why I stumble on this video as Im currently looking for the things to do to overcome this feeling. I have watched some of your videos regarding breakups as well and it motivates me to just focus on bettering myself for now.
This video is profound and this channel is profound. Thanks for creating a positive place where like minded can share tips on purpose, joy, and meaning.
I am 40 and went into different relationships since I was 25. Now I have had enough. I am not alone since I co-parent my son. But 50% of the time I am alone. I start to learn to be alone since I watch your videos. I go to the gym, doing my 2nd bachelor, sometimes invite friends....I recognize I have hated myself for so long but no more! I am my best friend, not other people. If I look around I notice that there are so many unhappy relationships. Fear, anxiety, financial issues, children, dependency etc. are all factors why couples stay with eachother....
Good luck with your bachelor🙏
Oh my god!!! I can’t thank you enough for this video. Really put things in perspective for me!! Keep ‘‘em coming
Being alone is awesome live by your own rules make yourself happy just being you while being productive
I relate to this on a deep level! I spend almost all of my time alone despite having plenty of friends, even before Coronavirus happened. Thanks for this video bro!
You’re absolutely incredible and your energy spent on helping others, like me, in this world will reward you greatly! Thank you for all the content you post. I’m binge watching (again) :)
The points you make are right and I agree my brother. I've watched some of your videos and here are my thoughts. Let me give you a perspective to keep in mind for sometime and future conversation you might encounter. I live in East Africa, Ethiopia - Second populated country in Africa and full of different ethnicities (more than 80 to be exact). Also countries like Nigeria, South Africa and Ghana also have more than 200. The reason I pulled out these things is that even in a small area, people with different perception of time spending differs. The one thing that's common amongst is that families and friends like to spend half of their day together. People constantly, almost daily go to Temples, churches, mosques, and synagogues to exercise their religion and spend most time with others alot like alot and have weekly or monthly feasts.
People here value time with their reason for existence. I can say 50% to 70% think earth is a transition place from one life to another. So, everything they do can only stay with the memories of others. Even in most independent individuals, that are more independent financially, and time they choose to do the things that I stated above. Maybe just maybe, our exposure to the things we value might differ. That's just my thought.
I am currently on the path of finding my purpose. Been starting to isolate myself in the end of 2019 before corona even forced us to be alone but I had really started to take time for myself. I’m naturally an introvert and gain more energy from being myself and I always kind of did that already but it was to the point where I would stop talking to my friends and “try” to stop interacting with my family, even though I still lived with them and just be alone. Been going through this ever since then and still now but I’ve learned so much about myself and have been able to fight some demons such as a porn and master action addiction and still currently fighting it but I’ve been able to just accept myself for who I am and become the greatest version of myself. Literally went from a lazy piece of shit who didn’t take care of himself to being able to cook my own healthy meals, getting enough sleep, starting to meditate, exercise more, and plenty of other stuff. The next chapter in my life is to truly find my purpose and start connecting with others again. But I’ve been through ups and downs during this journey but it was much needed
@Setting Goals much love brother
Cole, you are a genius, you are a miracle having achieved this wonderful milestone so early in your life.
Great video! Totally agree with you.. I feel like so many people today focus on how many “friends” they have or how popular they are but aren’t cognizant of how much/little those people actually better their life :/
Exactly. Glad you are aware of it my man
This is so true. Thank you so much for that important reminder. ❤🙏
Thanks for this video. Everything here is true. I remember how much I loved spending time alone and figuring out what I loved and disliked. Who I am truly. But after a 5 year relationship . You’re too use to being with your other half. Seems a bit frightening especially not being with your loved one anymore but I’m slowly accepting how to be alone & just meet myself again.
I still crave it, especially touch from others and simply conversation but I can say spending these past 6 months alone, voluntarily and also involuntary, has made me a much stronger, new found person who now respect herself. Hope you guys keep your head up on this journey, you’re not alone!
I spent so much time alone throughout high school and college (mostly quarantine) that it actually became a lot more negative than beneficial. It allowed an environment where I just played my negative thoughts on loop although I did my absolute best to feel better without friends and drugs. Ive been highly introspective and spiritual from 15 and I realized incorporating outside perspectives and going out often out of the house and out your comfort bubble is super important to crushing bad habits and mindsets. I still spend most of my time alone. I work and have passion projects, but most of the time, I feel like my house is a prison. Like Stockholm's syndrome. It locks me here yet I stay for comfort, because I am in control and nobody can reject me in my own house.
Bottom line, I am more comfortable alone than with people and that has been bad for my own mental health. I've also never really liked most of my friends and the ones I do like, focus a lot on their own goals which are often different than mine. So we do stuff like work and eat together but thats about it.
I have been enjoying my alone time for years now..and am super growing soo well...emotionally and spiritually....and i hv seen a big huge difference in my life...thank you for sharing man.
I’ve found that a lot of my anxiety and negative thinking has decreased ever since I stopped talking to my ex and “friends”.
this really helps me alot,after i watch your videos about how you cope yourself from breakup,ive been waken up and i had realized that ive been blessed ,rather than in a toxic begging for my ex to comeback,it really sucks when i remember how foolish i am to beg her to comeback eventhough she'd cheated on me,you really a big help bro.👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
What is peaceful for me is boring for others.
I still choose what is peaceful for me.
Peace and happiness goes hand in hand.
You cant be happy with a troubled mind.
I am alone but never lonely.
I am happy when i am at peace.
I agree that it's much better to stay alone than to go out making medicore friends that do nothing but bring you down, but in a sea of so many incompatible people it's important you stay open minded on the off chance you find people that are like minded
I consider myself a loner and I’m ok with that. I have 3 people that I consider friends and they have been my friends for the best part of my life. I’ve never felt the need to be popular or even liked. I value loyalty and trustworthiness. So don’t say you don’t have many friends like it’s a bad thing, you’re just selective about who you call a genuine friend. Nothing wrong with that.
This is exactly what my 2020 quarantine was dedicated to. I have always been an introvert, so I wasn't the type of person who copes with their problems by spending a lot of time with others, but still, I wasn't happy with myself at all.
I got to the point where I didn't know what to do anymore, I consciously decided not to seek comfort in food, Netflix, sex, and other distractions that became so popular due to isolation. It was the best decision I could ever have made. It was a beautiful journey, quite bumpy at the start, but totally worthed it ❤️❤️❤️